Horror Movie Review: Zombi 3
I know what you're thinking; especially my former BADASS forum mates, "What the hell is he doing watching a Lucio Fulci film?" Glad you asked. The simple truth of the matter is, I was giving the Schlockmeisters a chance to redeem themselves, by checking out another movie of theirs and keeping an open mind. Well, I watched it all the way through without fast forwarding once, and here is what I thought: This movie in no way altered my perception of them in any way. They still have no idea how to make a movie, and it's all too apparent in this plotless mess that rips off everything from Dawn of the Dead to Return of the Living Dead.
A team of scientist come up with some formula called Death One (Don't ask why, it is never explained) and decide to use it on a corpse in their care. It re-animates, and immediately starts to decay. The military become involved, naturally, after some group steals the formula from the lab. The deadly toxin gets out and infects the person who got away with it and subsequently, all who come in contact with him. Before you can say "Fulci is a lousy director," most of the area's populace are a pack of blood-crazed ghouls. It's up to the scientist and the militia to put this "virus" in check, and unfortunately, there are some civilian "good guys" who are caught in the middle.
I could go on for some time on just the terrible acting, thread bare plot, amatuerish make-up, and illogical situations (There is one scene where the heroine stops at an ABANDONED GAS STATION to find water for her infected boyfriend! The place looks like it has been closed for MANY YEARS and she is calling out for help and water!) the living seem to find themselves in at all times, but I won't. Suffice it to say, I suspect anyone who enjoys Fulci's films do so not for the elements I just listed, but the gore content. This movie had substantial amounts of that, and little else. In my honest opinion, this wasn't too much better than House of the Dead. This film was made in 1988, and like many movies from that era (especially films starring Linda Blair) have songs playing throughout by studio musicians, that will never make it on the radio, and are forgettable the first time you hear them and in most places this film is very poorly dubbed.To make matters worse, there is the obligatory scary music, where nothing scary is going on. Over all, this was a big waste of money and time, namely mine. It's truly unfortunate that as terrifying as Zombies are, that there are only a handful of movies about them that are worth watching. I don't number Zombi 3 amongst them.
I don't even recommend this for people who are completist that will watch just about anything that contains the Living Dead. Just shoot this thing already and bury it DEEP. That's just about all it's good for.
"I am Death. Vengeance is mine."-Ulrich, Black Death