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Unstructured Thoughts - What Are You Thinking Now?

3M views 57K replies 408 participants last post by  RedonitoR 
#1 ·
Please read before deciding there's no reason for you to post a reply.

I really don't post as much at message boards as I used to. And there's a reason for that. I get distracted, very easily. I'm just the kind of person with thoughts that often aren't structured. They just happen. For instance, if I'm worried about something, I usually don't want to discuss it but I'd like to just state it. Black and white, clear as crystal, once and have done with it. Unless of course someone else could or has been able to relate to that thought and wants to add to it. I don't want to start a dozen short posts about abstract thoughts just because when I have them I want to discuss them very much. It would be more sensible to, in a sense, have a graveyard for them where I could bury them as they arise.

This simply would eliminate worthless topics which no one would reply to and there's no worry about this topic getting off-topic because that's how it starts. It's not about establishing a pattern of off-topic topics. But for instance... I'm getting a headache right now, so I'd like to elaborate more on this post later on. But I wanted to try and create a post for random thoughts anyone were to have. In case the person having them really felt like sharing them.

I don't have one right now, but I could spill my guts about a lot of little things to other people that mean something to me.
 
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#57,221 ·
So. The last nurse quit. Yesterday was my day off and she calls me says: "I went in an hour early and quit, I feel relieved, at peace. I wanted you to walk out with me". She is a badass and called out the administrator and said they ruined this place within 3 months, which they have. This new company (Crescent Health) is sucking medical dollars away from all patients by cutting staff: CNAs, Doctors. Never go there. Even the kitchen staff has quit. As soon as I get my financing I'm following her. Maybe...one of the Doctors offered me a job so thinking about that too.

We had a deal we were going to wait it out but then this new administrator cut CNAs to one for 20 which would be back breaking work and someone's going to die. That's my thought anyway Her's too, that's why she quit and so good that within 8 hours had a new job (after 20 years here). It's legal but the math doesn't work: 40 patients: 2 hrs per patient per day, spread that over 3 shifts. Makes me want to cry which I did.

I'm following. I feel sorry for all these people but I'm gone by Christmas. Maybe with her, I hope, maybe not.

Everyone's talking about what she did and when I came on today there were three CNAs and 2 nurses. My brother wonders if they are worried she is going to report them so they added help. BUT then I found out only 2 CNAs and one nurse were on the nursing home unit. The people who need the most help. Almost all on hoyers or saralifts. 30 people. I hate this fing place. America needs decent medical care. This is just 1 of many. We need to make this a priority.
 
#57,223 ·
Salem, what can I say, not enough time!! Had 3 full days and stayed at an Airbnb with a great hostess. Saw so many places but some I wanted to see were already booked. Some said no picture taking. I saw the Samantha statue
Plant Tree Sculpture Statue Asphalt

It was on the corner where the Gulu Gulu cafe is where I ate breakfast every morning
Car Vehicle Window Building Automotive lighting

The Charter Street Cemetery was a sight not to be missed
Plant Wood Tree Trunk Natural landscape

And the Witch Memorial that was right next to it and so emotional
Road surface Tree Asphalt Bedrock Sidewalk

I went to The House of the Seven Gables. Funny story: My Paternal grandmother was a Gable and there were 7 kids and when I was 4 or 5 someone told me the book was written about them, didn't find out till a teen that they were pulling my leg!! Anyway the tour was great and the best part of my trip was when I was the first person in my group (and at least 30 years older) to go up the secret stairway. It was 20 uneven steps and 2 turns and sooo narrow. Picture from the top:
Water Wood Tints and shades Brickwork Brick

I went to a Pirate Museum, Witch Museum, Count Orlock Horror Museum, Professor Spindlewick's Magical something and on a night time Trolley Tour. My Airbnb hostess said she couldn't believe I got as much done as I did in 3 days. And of course the last night was their big parade to start off the season.
 
#57,226 ·
PrettyG I wish a brighter job situation for you

Thankyou HR. I think I will be here for about another month, maybe two. I plan on following some of my favorite nurses, cnas and doctors to another facility. I am very worried I'm taking to long, but I can't leave until the house is refinanced. Even IF I miss this opportunity I have references from 3 really great DONS, not to mention RNs and CNAs and the best PA I've ever seen work. I think I will be OK, I hope.

I feel like I'm in a race against time. I know multiple people have filed with State. They've told me. I don't know what's wrong with this company Crescent. They just don't care. I'm using up my vacation time but went into work today with my list of concerns. Meeting cancelled. This new pos admin couldn't care less. Xled the meeting and told NO ONE. I'm walking around wondering if they changed the meeting room and others just stopped me and said he came in at 5, xled the meeting and ordered HR to take down all the posters. Bat **** crazy time. I was pissed and said so. To the amusement of all that hate him. Which is everyone. I haven't seen this man in the building since before labor day. Also people are terrified of this guy. Seriously all these employees came in at 630am and230 pm. That fing ah didn't even text. I ran into the adon and she claimed to have never known about the meeting. It had been posted for 2 weeks. I almost believed her before we started talking and I caught her in another lie. Then I thought to myself: why do I care? I almost don't work here anymore. I left, called my old boss and we started talking.
 
#57,227 ·
I'm going to miss people. I was just thinking about how everyone seems to know my brother. I have no idea why. He came a lot during the covid crisis....before the vaccine. I would call him to come help and he would. Sometimes to drop off a pizza. But I noticed: everyone knows my brother and I have no idea why. And they love him!! I don't even think he realizes it.

It just cracked me up how employees treated my brother. Like he was the most important person in the world. Nurses would make cupcakes and say "you can have one, but this is for Alfred....give it to Alfred! You can't eat it!". And seriously the person saying that? Hadn't even met my brother. This is even as recent as a month ago.. So Alfred eats the cupcake, loves it, I tell them and they are pleased but don't want a date or anything.. so I guess they just liked my brother and I have no idea why.

Sorry, this just popped into my mind. I liked it that people liked my brother.
 
#57,229 ·
So I talked to my nephew tonight about my sister's funeral, last rites and everything came to a head. I don't want to admit it but my sister disliked me and now I know she disliked our brother too. He was angry and repeating lies she told him. I knew about some of this, a lot was new, but just tried to keep it to myself. He was so angry and I'm angry. Why did she poison her son like this? I've been crying for awhile. I started to ask my brother about some of this stuff but he has no interest and I think he's right. I don't know why Mary did this but her lies hurt us all.

I don't think we're going to the burial. We can't afford it (will be over 1,500 each) I don't think we're wanted and I don't think any friends or relatives are going. I miss her so much. Not the woman of the last 15 years. The sister I had growing up.

No last rites, no nothing.
 
#57,230 ·
PrettyG it is easier to say put it out of mind than to do it. I have a sister who tells different versions of things to different people, usually causing family members to have hard feelings against other family members. I have come to terms with it over the years. She moved and didn't tell me but knows my number quick enough if she wants something from me. I still love her and would help her out if she needed anything but she is hard to be around.
 
#57,231 ·
Thanks HR, I'm struggling with this. It's just so crazy but I want to be there. I've taken the time off work and looking for affordable flights, hotels and car rentals. Then I backtrack and think realistically I can't afford this; also if I go, I go alone. My brother has flat out said he can't afford it, especially since there will be no other family or friends or any kind of burial service. No religious service. I want to say goodbye so does he but I also think we will be shunned. I didn't think my sister had blamed my brother for anything but from what my nephew said she did. I don't want to go alone and be with just my sisters ex. But I do want to be with my nephew. Maybe not, what's the point of going if the sight of me is going to stress him out because he believes I hurt his Mother (MY sister) someway)? I do talk with my paternal cousin's (she passed a couple of years ago) son a lot on the phone. He says he is going with his Uncle (my cousin who I do not know very well), My brother and I don't know any of our relatives well. Met most of them when we were babies so no memories. Met most of them for the first time at my Mother's funeral. It's because we were born so late: after the fire. My cousin's son is closer to our age and I have made it a point to connect to him. I love him. Never met him but we talk a lot.

It's all about money and there was no money. My parents were on a strict budget, after retirement, 4,000 a month. I took care of them for free, never spent a dime on myself and my sister knew that: we talked every day and I told her everything: asked her for advice. We were fine until my Mother passed and she found out none of us inherited any money because there was no money, which she knew. Gawd I have driven myself crazy over this and I'm so done. Or I thought I was until my nephew accused my brother and I of ripping off his Mother. There was just stuff and she took whatever she wanted including most of the jewelry which was very expensive. Even Mom's wedding ring. She told me our Father told her he was leaving her something expensive but didn't tell her what it was. I certainly don't. All the expensive stuff he had came from his parents and she took it. Rugs, art, china and jewelry. What was left was the house and it was heavily mortgaged and she told him she didn't want it. This was talked about and decided before Dad even got sick. He had my sister and I fill out all insurance and inheritance paperwork right after he found out he had cancer so she knew everything, including the house, which was talked about all the time. Still she told my nephew and all our relatives: my brother and I somehow screwed her over. Even our parents attorney tried to tell her it wasn't true. Wouldn't believe him.

So here I am, angry and heartbroken. No one to talk to because my brother just doesn't want to ever talk about this and I know no one in this family. I don't know them. They grew up with my sister so why would they believe me? And why would I want to explain anything to strangers anyway? My sister's in-laws are polite but judging from my nephews reaction, I doubt they like or trust us.

The thing is I never thought this would happen to US. We were a great family. This happens to other people. Not US. And we're not even rich. Doesn't this kind of crap happen to only rich people?

One maybe good thing that happened at that time was I was on the phone all the time with my best friends from hs and college: people who have met and known my family and know me like the back of their hand. People who knew not just me but my parents and siblings. Sometimes I wondered "did I do that and forget?", It doesn't sound like me. My sister was so insistent I sometimes wondered if I was remembering things wrong. I was told no, she was actually always like that and that is what you forgot. So I'm not crazy. Also I have a few friends that took what happened to me to heart and changed their wills so their children will NEVER go through this hell. I am very grateful for that. I like that there are now people who understand that this can happen between siblings and will try and prevent it.
 
#57,234 ·
You’re a step ahead of us, HR. We usually have everything pulled out of the crawlspace, the cemetery fence up, and the upstairs projections going by now, and none of that has happened yet. Next week is going to be very busy.
 
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#57,235 ·
Been a while. Not a very good year so far. My niece's husband was killed in May when the trailer he was
working on slipped off the jack and fell on him! In July my nephew had a heart attack and died. Went on
vacation in September, just me, my brother Rickey and sisters Barbara and Carolyn. We came back on
September 17th....my sister Carolyn died the very next day!:cry: They said she had covid mixed with
heart problems! She was the first of the original 8 kids to pass on.
On a good note....I turned 73 Wednesday! :) Never expected to make it this far! Doctor said he was
surprised I got around as good as I do seeing how everything I've been hit with ... (stoke, congestive
heart failure, diabetes) He said I was a fighter....I won't give in to them! Most people say I'm just too
mean! :ROFLMAO: December 16th will make it 7 years since I had the stroke.
Hope everyone has a great Halloween....we haven't had a trick-or-treater in 10 years....but I still
decorate! I once was going To pass on it, that nobody would see it, but my mother told me she'd see
it.... she passed away 2 months later....so I decorate for me and her.
Bought a book on vacation.....The legend of Sleepy Hollow and other stories by Washington Irving.
(Rip Van Winkle, the Specter Bridegroom, and the Devil and Tom Walker) Found a Halloween salt
and pepper shaker set....black cat and a jack-o-lantern! Found some more mermaid figurines for my
collection.

Gotta go. Be back when I can. My memory doesn't work as good anymore!:(
Before I go......

Glitter for EVERYONE! :devilish::devilish::devilish:
 
#57,236 ·
Good to hear from you again Goblin. Sorry to hear about the sad family news. I know I find that as I get older that I hear more and more often that people I grew up knowing in my home town have passed, or relatives, or even people I went to school with. I think it reminds us of our own mortality. But I am like you - I will keep plugging on just to annoy everyone who doesn't like me! Best wishes and keep on decorating for Halloween.
 
#57,239 ·
Damn, Goblin, that’s a lot of loss in such a short time. As for your longevity, you remind me of something a friend of mine said years ago. He said he was going to live forever because he wasn’t good enough to get into heaven and the devil didn’t want no competition👹

Now go get a broom and clean up this glitter mess.
 
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