# Monster Mayhem!



## Sinister

I saw this on another board I frequent from time to time. It's sort of like my _Horror Movie Death Match_ forum, except we're not talking about films per se, but how different monsters, madmen, demons etc. would fare against the other in an all-out brawl. It's fun and I'm sure that some of you will get a kick out of it. Since I started this, I will make up the bouts. There are no Quarter-Finals, Semi-Finals or Finals, just two denizens of the night duking it out for primacy. Who do you think would win? The first of our exhibitions will be a classic monster throw-down, Universal Monsters to be exact. Here are the contenders:

*The Creature From the Black Lagoon*

vs.

*Frankenstein's Monster*

I pull for The Creature. He's easily my favorite monster from that era. Yes, ol' Bolt-Neck is strong, but I sincerely doubt that he's stronger than the throwback to pre-dawn time. Creech is strong in his own right and is armed with some rather nasty looking claws. All he has to do is to start ripping at the mad Dr. Frankenstein's sutures and Franky would just fall apart. Creature would probably be messed up some, but he would wreak more havoc on Victors creation than the other way around. Creech for me!


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## Zombie-F

I dunno, I think the Monster would snap Creature in half like a twig.


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## dougspaulding

I've got to go with the Undeadistrator on this one. Mind you, I like the Gill-Man just as much as the next fellow - if not more - but in my mind's eye I can just see The Monster throwing Gillie for a loop! Frankenstein's Monster rules!


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## Doctorthingit

Oh god, Freddy v Jason culture touches this forum as well... Leave me out, I want no part.


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## Zombie-F

Doctorthingit said:


> Oh god, Freddy v Jason culture touches this forum as well... Leave me out, I want no part.


Dracula met Frankenstein LONG before Freddy met Jason. Horror movie monsters were meeting long before F vs. J was even conceived of.


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## Sinister

Doctorthingit said:


> Oh god, Freddy v Jason culture touches this forum as well... Leave me out, I want no part.


This had really no root in all that last film to pair off two Hollywood Heavies against each other. Rather, I was calling back to mind such films as *Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman, Godzilla vs. King Kong, Frankenstein vs. Dracula, Destroy All Monsters,* etc. On this board we love monsters and are avid fans of them. All the movies that that I mentioned were in no way Master Works of Art, but simple cheese at some of its finest moments. Not necessarily good, or good for you, but you enjoy the hell out of it just the same.


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## Doctorthingit

I actually didn't think about that. Have there actually been any good monster-meets-monster movies though? I mean, just one of these films that stands the test of time?


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## Sinister

I personally felt that Kong wouldn't have stood a snowballs chance in Hell against The Big G. It doesn't matter if they gave the ape growth hormones or whatever they did to make him grow to Zilly's proportions. His opponent is a Thermonuclear Dinosaur that stands 400 ft. high and breaths fire. All the chest pounding and roaring in the world isn't going to intimidate something of that size and power; it just isn't. In fact, I think that Godzilla could wipe out every monster, madman, vampire--whatever, if they got in his way even if they combined forces. They don't call him the King of Monsters for nothing.


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## RAXL

I dig most "vs" movies. As long as it's NOT Jason vs Freddy.
But those old Universal team-ups were pretty horrible. 
I think it was HOUSE OF FRANKENSTEIN were Frankenstein, Dracula and the Wolfman are billed as the stars. Dracula is in it for about 10 minutes before he's killed off, and never meets Frankenstein or the Wolfman.  
Still, fun to watch though.

Frankenstein vs Gill-man. -sigh- 
I gotta go with Franky in this battle. But the Gill-Man still rocks. Check him out in The Creature Walks Among Us! He looks and acts like Jason in that one.

(shameless plug follows...) 
Oh, hey, check out a future issue of MONSTERS UNLEASHED to see Franky and the Gill-Man lock horns.


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## Doctorthingit

That's pretty much what I figured, RAXL


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## Sinister

How about Boltneck vs. Dracula, himself?

Both can mix it up with the best of them, be it angry villagers, intrepid Vampire Hunters or other monsters. Franky is tough, but I think he would have a helluva bad time trying to take down the hirsute Count. Drac couldn't really turn him into one of the Undead, because he is already dead, but I think the Lord Vampire is either stronger than, or just as strong as Victor's creation. Plus, he's had centuries of experience to hone his fighting skills and avoid stakes in the heart and sunlight. Frank is a relatively new monster, who relies more on brute strength than any real technique.

Dracula will hand Frankenstein's Monster's head back to him on a blood-stained platter. :zombie:


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## Zombie-F

I'll have to agree with you on this one Sinister. I think the only opponent that has even a chance a killing Drac has to at least have some problem solving skills, which Frankenstein's Monster clearly lacks. The only way to kill Dracula is to have an active knowledge of his weaknesses and concoct a plan to exploit those weaknesses. The Monster simply wouldn't stand a chance.


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## dougspaulding

I concur. Street smarts will best brute strength every time.

Point of contention: I wonder if Dracula could bite The Monster and turn him into a vampire. Makes you think!


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## Sinister

dougspaulding said:


> Point of contention: I wonder if Dracula could bite The Monster and turn him into a vampire. Makes you think!


I think I sort of tackled that in my post, dude. I don't believe the same principles apply. The Monster is re-animated flesh, and though he has the semblance of life, I don't believe he's really alive in the strictest sense of the word. More like another version of "Undead."


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## Sinister

Here's a doozy for ya; picture it: KISS vs. The Universal Monsters (Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy and The Wolfman.) Four distinct personalities going against four other distinct personalities. I bet Gene Simmons would find a way to exploit a monetary opportunity should a knock down drag out fight of these proportions ever have a chance of occuring.  

So who would take it? The money whoring merchandise machine, or the greatest monsters ever to appear on the Black and White screen? :googly:


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## dougspaulding

The black and white monsters. I need not elaborate.


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