# Haunter's Remorse?



## shannibal (Aug 14, 2013)

So our charity haunt was in full swing, I was doing my thing and everything was great. I popped out in front of people and did my creepy high-pitched clown laugh. All was well until a mom and her small daughter came around the corner. Now, keep in mind, the haunt was very good about warning people that it was NOT intended for small children. This girl looked to be about 10-ish. Her mom was holding her shoulders and following her through the haunt. I jumped and did my scare and she immediately burst into a full-blown panic attack, tears rolling down her face, screaming her head off saying "mommy!". They led her out the back way and out of the haunt. When we took our next break, someone mentioned that the little girl told her mom she peed her pants too. Her mom was a good sport and didn't complaint to us or anything, which was good. But still. I felt bad- I enjoy scaring the teenagers and the adults.....not making little girls cry. Anyone ever had this happen? Should I feel as bad as I do? Had a bunch of other great scares so that made up for it, but I hated doing that to a little girl :/


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## Sblanck (Sep 13, 2007)

It happens to all of us at some point.


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## shannibal (Aug 14, 2013)

I apologized to the girl's mom. But I'm also kind of angry at the mom for even bringing her in when we were very up front about it not being a kid-friendly haunt. My feelings are torn about it.....


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## Nutz (Feb 19, 2013)

Don't beat yourself up.


> the haunt was very good about warning people that it was NOT intended for small children.


. After that it's on the mom on whether the child was ready or not. Mine will be 10 this year and would be fine. Again, up to the parent.

Of course mine may be a bad example since at the age of 4 she wanted this in her bedroom 








So don't beat yourself up too bad. I had the crap (can't remember if it was literally) scared out of me at that age at my first haunted house and it started my love of Halloween. :cheesykin:


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Spooky1's nephew helped us out one year and inadvertently scared one of the neighbor's young kids (6 year old girl). She was also crying and screaming, and he felt awful since he was being careful about not frightening little kids in accordance with our instructions. What made me feel bad is that her mother kept dragging her up to our door and then back down past my nephew (he was dressed as a werewolf). I went out, put my arms around her, and talked to her about how the werewolf was really our nephew and he would never hurt her and didn't mean to scare her.

This happened a couple years ago and she told me this year she wasn't going to be scared


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## Hobz (Oct 14, 2013)

I wouldn't feel guilty about it, especially if you didn't even know the girl was there. The purpose of your haunt was to scare people and you made it clear that it was not meant for children. If someone chooses to bring their kids, then they bear the responsibility if they're little one gets terrified. Not your fault at all.


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

Shannibal - of course you'll feel bad, but the mother had the opportunity with the advised, posted warning about small children. It isn't your fault and you couldn't have foreseen that there would be a small child that the parent CHOSE to take into the haunt. You apologized, which is way more than alot of people would have done. It's okay to feel bad, but it isn't your fault. Think of the bright side, she'll probably be talking about her biggest scare for the rest of her life. Kinda like "it's funny now" thing. Plus, you've got a whole bunch more people to scare and to take your guilt out on, don't hold back on what you've been doing.


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## BluJay75 (Jun 26, 2012)

Kids are surprisingly resilient. I recall being so scared as a youngster (maybe 8yrs old?) I think it was the Hulk in chains leaping out and roaring with a strobe going. Looking back it was probably not so scary.

Sounds like you were CLEAR about the warning that it was not a Kid-Friendly haunt. And this was also for Charity. Can't tell parents not to bring their kids, that's their choice. I feel the same about parents who bring their small children to Horror movies like Insidious or Evil Dead... is there a babysitter strike I don't know about?


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## CrazedHaunter (Nov 18, 2012)

Hey you did your your job. That's what they are there for to get scared..they were warned.. And isn't scaring the pee out of someone our goal.. Now when you get a defecation that's worth 2 urinations.. Ok all kidding aside it does happen,it happened to me. We don't want to traumatize young kids but sometime things happen. Don't worry about it she'll live.


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## shannibal (Aug 14, 2013)

Thanks guys......And, yes, that was my first earned losing-control-of-bodily-functions scare. Makes me feel better about it- we have one more night (halloween) of our haunt so hopefully I get some more victims!


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## scareme (Aug 29, 2006)

As haunters, we are a kind of an odd lot. We enjoy what others find scary or gruesome. A complement to many on here is to call a prop or a scare a pants wetter. So really, you did your job, and you were good at it, so you were fulfilling your duty to the charity haunt. And that's what you were there for. You are right for being angry at the mother. It is her job to protect her daughter and know what kind of entertainment she is ready for. I may be jaded, but I used to work in a field where I ran into some munchausen by proxy parents. I kind of wonder if this mother pushed her daughter into something she wasn't ready for, and then enjoyed all the attention others put on her and her daughter feeling sorry for them. Again, I'm probably jaded, but parents tend to protect their kids. And it's totally the mother's fault, not yours, for that girls being too frightened. I hope it doesn't turn you off to volunteering for charity haunts. It sounds like you are good at it, and are helping the charity by giving the costumer what they are there for.


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## shannibal (Aug 14, 2013)

I'm definitely not turned off of haunting. It'll take waaaay more than that to keep me away! I enjoy the twisted stuff (which is why I fit in here so well I suppose) and I enjoy the rush of scaring people. I just hope the little girl isn't too traumatized. But like someone said, kids are resilient.


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## BunchOfHocusPocus (May 23, 2012)

Yeah I can understand where you're coming from. I'm glad you don't feel badly about it anymore though. There's lots of parents who bring their kids to these haunts and should know they'll be lots of things that will make them jump out of their skin. 

Know what you mean about getting a rush when you scare people, cause I get certain rushes too whenever I get scared. Don't recall if I ever gotten scared in a haunted house before, but I know my best friend is afraid of clowns. One year, we were going through a haunt when I was younger and my friend was very terrified once she saw the clown jump out at her. She fell down and screamed, the clown actually helped her to her feet and asked her if she was okay. Deep down I felt horrible and comforted my friend. Than I told the guy who was dressed up as the clown that he was very sweet for helping my friend up.


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## Mortuis (Aug 13, 2013)

Something no one has mentioned yet... the little girl may have *wanted* to go through the haunt and just overestimated how tough she was, or how scary the haunt would be. Parents have a tough choice to make when the kid literally begs to be allowed to go through something like this; sometimes they make bad choices. Like everybody else said, you did what you were supposed to do; you can't be responsible for a child that shouldn't have been there in the first place.


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## DreadfulNoise (Oct 22, 2013)

I usually find that when a (clearly too young) kid gets too scared, they were brought in by some parent too wrapped up in how cool _they_ thought the haunt was to think of their own kid. The worst thing for me is hearing them bartering with the ticket staff, trying to explain how their kid has nerves of steel. Worst I heard yet was someone trying to get a 4-year-old in by saying "Oh, she's fine. She loves this stuff. She loves watching Scooby-Doo."

Some people.


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## BugFreak (Oct 30, 2011)

Don't feel too bad. It was the Mom's fault for bringing the little one through something clearly not intended for little ones. It should make you feel better that the Mom had to deal with the days of dealing with nightmares as payback for torturing her kid like that. Its not your fault a parent didn't do her job of parenting.


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## SkeleTom (Oct 5, 2007)

Hey, in a couple of days she probably will be wanting to start a haunt of her own. Being the one doing the scaring is the best defense. It's practically predictable, even with the adults, that when you get them good, the first reaction after regaining their composure is, "Hey honey! C'mere, come have a look at this!"


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## Pumpkin5 (Aug 8, 2010)

:jol:My yard is very kid friendly, but because of the scary music and props and fog, some smaller kids are scared...it makes me angry when the parents force the kids to walk up to my costumed helpers while the kid is crying, obviously terrified...(stupid parents!) Keep in mind kids are resilient, and what scares them today, builds the person they will one day be. Like Roxy said, next year that little girl will be joyfully looking for the bad clown that scared her before. Kids are like that, and in this world today, Halloween scares are "good" and safe scares.


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## The Witch of Lomax Street (Jun 10, 2014)

our block had a bunch of adult themed displays last year, and one 10-year old girl was so scared by someone who jumped out at her that she cried and refused to continue trick-or-treating. i feel your pain tho! if parents take their young kids to these things knowing that they are adult attractions and their kid gets that scared, then it is the parents who should feel guilty. it would be just like an adult taking a 10-year old to an R rated movie. they know up front it is for adults and not for kids! You have nothing to feel bad about.


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## Abunai (Oct 28, 2007)

In addition to warning that your haunt might be too scary for youngins, you could have for sale, at the entrance, "Monster Protection Necklaces".
These would just be glow-stick necklaces from the dollar store. 

Let your actors know to tone it way down, even cringe away from any kids wearing these "Monster Protection Necklaces".

This serves a few purposes:
It gives the parent another chance to save their kid from getting too scared. 
It allows younger customers to go through (more customers, more income).
You can sell the necklaces at a profit to benefit your charity haunt.

If the parent doesn't heed the warnings, it's not your fault if their kid gets scared.


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## Stitch the Butcher (Jun 16, 2014)

shannibal said:


> I apologized to the girl's mom. But I'm also kind of angry at the mom for even bringing her in when we were very up front about it not being a kid-friendly haunt. My feelings are torn about it.....


Don't feel too bad. I have had customers at the haunt I work for bring infants and toddlers through. If I have the opportunity to observe a group before they get to my area I always look for children. If possible I target adults away from them within the group. If not I do one of two things, I either let the group pass and wait for the next one, or I scare the group and take note of the kids reactions. Depending upon how they take it I continue as usual. If the kids start to panic like the one in your story I have gone as far as removing my mask to show them it is a costume and that I am not going to hurt them.


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## Headless (Sep 4, 2011)

We had a few similar instances last year with the fundraiser we did for the Scouts. While our haunt was technically for all ages, we very quickly learned that all sorts of things caused young children angst. We wanted the experience to be enjoyable for everyone so for those young children that were frightened I walked through with them and deconstructed everything to make it less scary - feel these cobwebs - they aren't really cobwebs they are like cotton wool - see that funny looking thing over there - that's just a lady in a funny costume.... Our actors were brilliant and worked intuitively to tone down their behavior when needed and on the whole we ended up with smiles through the tears by the end of the haunt. But I agree - you feel really bad when the kids are upset.


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## diggerc (Feb 22, 2006)

I to feel your angst when it comes to small children.
I take no pride when my shtick brings tears to any child not ready for the show.
While some "actors" just don't know when or how to turn it off.
Just the fact that you wrote about it here shows that your heart is in the right place. The 10 yo wasn't.


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## Gallows_meat (Mar 14, 2014)

We had a group of people bring in a young girl with Down Syndrome. Ours is a three part haunt and I was at the last part. The group had PLENTY of chances to stop but didn't. I felt horrible since the girl was sobbing and terrified. In those situations, I will either massivly tone down what I do, try to be funny, or even break character to show the person I'm not really a monster. I understand how it feels. What I don't understand is why a parent would not remove the child if they're not handling it well.


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## Stitch the Butcher (Jun 16, 2014)

Some people are either to stupid to see what is happening or they are horrible parents.


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## Headless (Sep 4, 2011)

And of course then there are those parents who feel the need to push their kids into it so they don't turn out to be cowards when they grow up........ yeah that works.......


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## OtisDriftwood (Oct 6, 2011)

Some parents just don't think about it once they get in. They get wrapped up in their own excitement and they forget that little Susie, or Johnny might not take it the same way. 

We have our "littles" rule at our haunt, because we get a lot of tots between 6-10. Anytime we see one come through, we tone it way down. I will make it a point to be goofy, or try to make them smile. I've been known to give high fives, or let mom push me down to make a little one laugh. I get my scare fix on the teenagers!


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## HorrorKnight (Jul 4, 2014)

I have seen plenty of parents try to force their little ones through my yard haunt and up to my door, so I feel obligated to try to be responsible for the kids sake if I see that they're truly freaked out. The only young ones that I would intentionally scare would be those in my own family and they already expect it. I watch the groups through my window as they walk through my yard and up to my door, teenagers get it the worst, if I see a small child, I'll tone it down. If they're too afraid to walk up and get candy, I will walk to them and give them candy and even try to show them that the ghouls and monsters in my yard aren't real, if I see they're really freaking out. If they do make it up to my door, I'll give extra candy for "being so brave".


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