# Commie Chupas!



## RAXL (Jul 9, 2004)

For the first time in history, the mysterious Puerto-Rican Chupacabra vampire has been spotted in Russia.

Reports of a beast that kills animals and sucks on their blood came from a village in Central Russia back in March 2005, when a farm had 32 turkeys killed overnight. The beast left the corpses bloodless, the Komsomolskaya Pravda daily said.

Then reports came from neighboring villages, where more than 30 sheep and goats fell victim to the vampire. Again, the blood had been drained from corpses but the flesh remained intact. All the slaughtered animals had similar puncture wounds on their necks, different from the marks that wolves, dogs or lynx leave on their victims.

Finally, eyewitness descriptions match the traditional description of the Chupacabra, said to resemble a kangaroo and a dog with huge teeth. 

“I heard the sheep bleating loudly, and when I approached the barn I saw a black shadow, like a big dog standing on its hind legs. It leaped like a kangaroo — when it spotted me it ran away,” says Yerbulat Isbasov, 18, who guards sheep in the village of Gavrilovka. 
Yerbulat saw the beast again in a few days’ time, and described it as a 1.2 meter high animal with a hump on its back. 

Alfia Makasheva saw a whole pack of vampires in her yard.

“One was a huge reddish thing, another was dark grey, and they were being followed by a pack of pups. In the middle of the yard the red one turned its head and got up on the hind legs, as if it was thinking.” 

When Dmitry Madinovsky from Orenburg heard about the beast, he suggested it could be the legendary Chupakabra, and set off to look for it. In the woods near the Sakmara river he discovered two rows of tracks that could belong to an animal of some 35 kilos in weight. The tracks were of five-toed paws with claws and webbed fingers, and a tail that dragged between them. Zoologists could not identify the animal from photos of the prints.

“It is definitely a Chupakabra! Small front and big hind legs,” Madinovsky says. “The animal first walked on all fours, near the water it got up on its hind legs, raised its tail and leapt away like a kangaroo.”

This May Madinovsky and the Urals Anomaly Monitoring Station experts are determined to track the animal down.:ninja:


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## uncle willie (Apr 13, 2004)

****en commies! i knew they were behind it!


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

Damn Turkey suckers! I damn them to hell. Where is my small sheep cross? That should stop the bitch. Just call me Ronald Van Helsing, Chupacabra killer. May you rot in you communistic rotten tomb.


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## Sinister (Apr 18, 2004)

Aren't Russians known to consume large amounts of Vodka?


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## Faustian_Pact (Apr 19, 2006)

So,.the Chupacabras like a little Vodka in their blood. Chilled.


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