# Things haunters say



## HauntCast (Jul 25, 2008)

I need help with this months top 10. Please list something that haunters say. Thanks.


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## Hauntiholik (May 17, 2006)

That wound doesn't look bloody enough.

When a haunter wants to pick your brain it may be for more than your thoughts.


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## The Creepster (Sep 18, 2009)

I hope this is covered under my personal umbrella policy


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## niblique71 (Dec 2, 2009)

Hun... Where are the band aids???


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## randomr8 (Oct 24, 2009)

Honey, I need to start staging props in August this year.


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## Evil Queen (Mar 8, 2008)

Honey, where did we put the body?


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## halstaff (Nov 18, 2009)

Honey, I can't throw that away either. I might need it for a prop someday.


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## STOLLOWEEN (Apr 13, 2008)

Holy crap...a Lowes coupon!


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## STOLLOWEEN (Apr 13, 2008)

What do you mean we need room in the garage to park the car?


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## Wyatt Furr (Jun 5, 2006)

"I cant go to your Wedding/ Funeral/ Bar Mitzvah/ Whatever-Special-Event, the first weekend in October,I will be setting up my Yard Haunt. And yes, It will take 4 days"


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

We could corpse that for a prop


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## scareme (Aug 29, 2006)

"These scratches are from chicken wire, the scars are from hot glue burns."


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## niblique71 (Dec 2, 2009)

[Oct 31st] " I'm really (cough, cough, sniffle, hack) sick today, I won't be in"


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## Rahnefan (May 1, 2009)

It sure looked better in my head than it does now that I've made it.


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## SuperCreep31 (Nov 22, 2009)

'Put it on my tab' ha ha i don't know-they might when they are in a bar...


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## Spooky1 (Aug 25, 2008)

It's bulk trash pickup day, I've got to go shopping at curby's.


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## Spooky1 (Aug 25, 2008)

It's for a Halloween prop.


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## Denhaunt (Aug 18, 2006)

(Actual sayings)

"Hey honey, could you put down that severed foot long enough to come sit at the dinner table with us?"

"Hey Bob, you're not throwing that out are you...you mind?", "what else you have in there?"

"Yes sir, if you could just point me in the direction of the spray foam, a pair of extra large panty hose, and some latex rubber gloves, I'd be much obliged."

"His face looks too perfect - could you hand me the sandpaper and something heavy?"

"I just can't seem to get this open chest cavity to look gruesome enough!"

"Of course Im ventilating the area - can't you see that fan blowing?"

"Merry Christmas and thanks mom. A new dremel and a $100 gift card to the Depot...You're the best"


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## scourge999 (May 4, 2008)

I need more skulls!!!!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm already planning Halloween 2010......2011.....2012.....2013.....


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## Bone Dancer (Oct 7, 2005)

Amazing, that cherry stain looks just like blood.

Stop the car, I seen a reindeer in that pile of junk. 

Does this look dead to you?

OK, who moved the corpse?


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## madmomma (Jul 1, 2009)

Honey, pull over...I think I can use "that" for a prop (curby find)

To my Electrician: Don't throw out that wire, what gauge is it? Have any more?

To my Plumber: Any spare PVC on your truck I can have???

To my Carpenter: DON'T throw out that wood!!! Can I have that extra rebar??? Can I borrow that nailgun for the weekend???


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## trishaanne (Aug 20, 2005)

Do you think the funeral director would let me borrow his hearse for the weekend?


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## CB_Christmas (Aug 12, 2009)

" what do you mean wiper motors are actually for your car?!?!"

(this one I have actually done) *drives by a house that is just putting up the styrofoam for new siding*
"WOW imagine all the tombstones I could make with that!!"


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## nixie (Sep 17, 2008)

All true stories-

"I'll be there in a minute, I'm getting the styrofoam dust out of the baby's nose..."

"Which color looks best on this guy... the earthen dirt green, or the pallid dead grey?"

"Darn, I need to cut that side of her neck off a bit, but all my favorite blisters are on that side..."

"Sweetie, are you sure you want to go trick-or-treating this year, you would make the perfect troll for our haunt"

"Oooh, she turned out so nice and crispy!"



Said while doing this year's spring yard work- 

"oooh, look this branch looks like legs, we should make something with it"

"No, we can't plant the tree there, that's where the gypsy wagon goes"

"I think we should move this shrub to the front yard, it looks creepier there"


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## nixie (Sep 17, 2008)

This one happened in an emergency room while I was pregnant with my third child:

Nurse: What happened?
Me: Well, I fell out of our gypsy wagon. I was carrying a bunch of pumpkins, and I tripped on the cord to the lightning machine...


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Don't plant anything there, I need room for my pumpkins (I hear this one from Spooky1 every year)


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## trishaanne (Aug 20, 2005)

(this was my thought for the day as I was passing some roadkill....morbid I know...)

If that deer will hurry up and decay, I can use the rib cage!!!


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## NJWilk (May 13, 2007)

"You can never have too many skulls" - I said to my friend who handed me a POC talking skull her brother had picked up on sale for me. She cracked up because that was exactly what he said to her when he was buying it.


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## Psyc0 Walrus (Sep 1, 2009)

Oh come on! Its only 360 days from halloween! How am I supposed to finish all these props!?


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

Said from family to me:
"Will ya STOP IT with the Halloween already!!?"
My response: "But there are only (fill in the blank) days 'til Halloween!"


"I run a charity haunted house in my front yard each year..can you give me a better price on that? I could REALLY use it..we get so many kids to our house...here- let me show you pictures of our haunt..." (CHA CHING! Discount! Money taken off of price!)


And something we all say:

""OOOOooo!! DON'T THROW THAT AWAY-I can USE that!"


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## niblique71 (Dec 2, 2009)

"I didn't Buy that, I made that"


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## Ryan Wern (Dec 3, 2009)

To your friend: Check out this (fill in the blank) that I made, it's bad-ass

Friend: Let me see it (pretending to care)

You: Dammit, this thing worked 10 minutes ago! What the @$!%!!!

Friend: Ya, that was great, isn't Halloween like 10 months away still?

You: Ya, I gotta get this stuff working, I'm running out of time. I've got to build more walls, a coffin, more lighting, headstones, corpse these skeletons, etc. etc, etc. Oh and fix this stupid thing now, too!

Friend: Don't you have Christmas shopping to do?

You: I spent all my Christmas money on Halloween stuff....


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## ScreamingScarecrow (Oct 1, 2008)

Black is my favorite color...
Until they come out with something darker.

Its ok, don't cry... I can get the zombie to bring the candy out to you... hey where ya going? Come back! Free candy! Come on kids! how bad could it be?


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## Haunted Bayou (Feb 16, 2007)

"anyone know how I can hack this?"

"Is there a tutorial on that?"

"I decided to re-decorate the entire house in a halloween theme if my spouse will let me"

"Help me think of halloween names for my new puppy"

"I have no more room in the garage or attic for my props...any ideas for extra storage?"

"You can't have too many eyeballs"

"ooooh that looks totally gross, how'd you do that?"


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## The_Caretaker (Mar 6, 2007)

Everyone needs a coffin


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

One more:

"No! no! DON'T clean the spider webs offa that! I put it in the garage so it WOULD GET spidery! All it needs now is a dusting of talcum and it will be perfect."


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

Honey, can you hand me a beer? It will work as anesthesia for the hammer blow I just suffered.

The collapsing roof can wait on the house honey. I still have 3 more coffins to build.

I am not depressed because I wear black all year, it is a life choice. And it goes well with my eyes.

Just because my prop has three prosthetic limbs, doesn’t mean he is happy to see you.

How many Donna the Deads do you know have eatible underwear?


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

Do you mind if I steal your idea?

I will be right back. Going to Hardware Store.

Yeah, you can use the crypt as a play house. But put the crosses back on after you are done.

I knew I should have started earlier.


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## Laredo (May 3, 2010)

"It sure looked safe to me..."

"Don't worry; It'll look better at night..."

"I've been having some Monster Mud trouble, and I don't think my Vortex Tunnel will ever be the same."


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## corner haunt (May 21, 2008)

Hun, we need to get rid of some Christmas stuff to make more room for Halloween!


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## Devils Chariot (May 23, 2007)

"I'm going to the home depot, again"
"I can't go, I'm building this weekend."
"Can you open the door for me, I have greatsuff/mache on my fingers"
"Don't throw that out, I'm gonna use it".
"Do you think the cops are gonna come?"
"Don't touch it, its still wet" (I know you can use that one Chris!)
"I need a bandaid!"
"Where did I put that beer?"


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## The Bloodshed Brothers (Jan 25, 2009)

this on literally just happened a few min ago. my friends is visiting from out of town
"dude is that a chainsaw in your closet!?"
"yep"
"thats not weird at all"
"well the chain is off it"
"i really hope that is for Halloween"
i just look at him and laugh


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## fick209 (Aug 31, 2009)

Why are all these glass bottles in the recycling bin instead of the witch's cabinet?


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

I want my crypt in the divorce. You bitch!


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## Evil Queen (Mar 8, 2008)

After Halloween...

Just put Bucky under the dining room table, we'll set him up next to Nana at Thanksgiving. Hahahaha


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Don't throw that away, I can make a prop out of it!


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## nixie (Sep 17, 2008)

debbie5 said:


> "No! no! DON'T clean the spider webs offa that! I put it in the garage so it WOULD GET spidery! All it needs now is a dusting of talcum and it will be perfect."


THAT is genius!!!!


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## nixie (Sep 17, 2008)

Here's another one.
"As soon as I finish the FCG, I'll get to work on the MIB, then I'll carve some JOLs and watch NBC while i wait for the TOTs to get here..."


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## operatingnurse (Sep 21, 2009)

Actually overheard and misunderstood at a party recently, "I want to put my finger banger (haunt controller) in your box (monster, of course)".


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## The Bloodshed Brothers (Jan 25, 2009)

"i love the smell of fog"


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

I don't think we're going to have enough candy


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## tonguesandwich (Oct 13, 2006)

Mom, can I have your body when you die?

and

Don't worry it will look good in the dark just like your woman!


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## The Bloodshed Brothers (Jan 25, 2009)

"Ouch!"
"what happened?"
"i cut my finger! and it bleeding bad!"
"do you need me to get the first aid kit?"
"No just go get one of the props for me to smear it on!"


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## trishaanne (Aug 20, 2005)

No, we can't plant some flowers in the yard....they will still be blooming in October and ruin the look of my cemetery.


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## Death's Door (Mar 22, 2006)

You can't put that chair there. I'm putting the coffin there with the candleabra behind it.


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## halloween71 (Aug 9, 2007)

The wine helps me to be creative,I'm not drunk just in deep thought.
Honey we have to go to lowes I need pvc,carpet latex,stain and flicker lights.
Are you going to use that?
Put my halloween tools back where you found them.
I'm running out of time.
You can't put a car lift in the garage where will we have the halloween party at if you do that?
Honey come here I need some help!
Bring some ice home I may run out.


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## Spooky1 (Aug 25, 2008)

Throw things out? Hell no, we can build another shed for storage.


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## MorbidMariah (Mar 28, 2009)

We need more storage!!


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## scareme (Aug 29, 2006)

Post some pictures.

Pictures, we want pictures.


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## MoldyCoffin (May 5, 2010)

*Trust me...*

It's not THAT scary, and besides, your parents will be right beside you....


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## MoldyCoffin (May 5, 2010)

*And...*

I KNOW it doesn't look like much NOW...but a little plaster, some paint and the right lighting....WOW! It'll be way scary!


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

Said every year in my house:
"No no no- don't buy the CHOCOLATE candy- it's too expensive!"

"I wish the neighbors would shut off their front porch light- it's killing my lighting."

"If I shoot out the street light at 3 am, do you think I'd get caught?"

"Where the hell did I plug all this crap in last year!?"

"Can we afford to call the electrician & have him put in a few new electrcial outlets?"

"You promised not to use indoor electrical cords on the lawn this year..."

"It's dinner time? Can't the kids just eat their candy? OMGGgg..order a pizzza."

"SHhhh!SHhh!! Fresh meat!" (said when a van full of TOTers pile outta their van)

"I don't care if its a little kid..scare the poo outta them..."

"Did that chick ask for candy for her sick baby at home AGAIN this year!?? "

"Thank you. I'm glad you enjoy it. Yeah- it takes about a week to set up."

(said at 9pm) "Wow...I'm having so much fun, I forgot to pee. Be right back..."


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## Evil Queen (Mar 8, 2008)

Next year I am starting earlier.


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## HauntCast (Jul 25, 2008)

You guys rock! That is enough for a Top 40.


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## nixie (Sep 17, 2008)

Evil Queen said:


> Next year I am starting earlier.


I think that's the all-time classic one right there!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

THAT would make a great prop!


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## beelce (Jul 21, 2007)

sure you can fit a dead body in a 24" hole!


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## nixie (Sep 17, 2008)

Too many tombtones? What's that?


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## dionicia (Aug 4, 2007)

"I know the part is meant for plumbing, but it works better for the talking skull I'm building."


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

"I need more of a fresh, arterial blood red paint..that is more like a scab red...."


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## spideranne (Jul 17, 2006)

"You'll have to hang that over here, I've got skeletons in that closet."


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## SPOOKY J (Nov 20, 2009)

M: "Honey let's drive to WV on Sat. W: "Why WV?" M: "Let's take the kids and relax in the mountains for a day or two." W: "No really, what are you up to." M: "I found someone with Foam on Craigs List." W: "I should have known this was a Halloween thing."


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## halstead (Apr 20, 2010)

Of course they can breathe in that box...just not for too long.


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## trishaanne (Aug 20, 2005)

Hon, i think it's time to get rid of the pool table and the air hockey table. We never really use it anymore and they're taking up valuable prop storage space!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Stop the car hon! That dead raccoon in the road will make a great zombie raccoon!


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## jaege (Aug 23, 2009)

But sweetie, it wasn't that expensive.


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## Haunted Bayou (Feb 16, 2007)

"Did you see this ad on Craigslist?"


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

Damn, I wish I had worn underwear in this costume.


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

"Isn't tomorrow garbage day? WHOO HOO!"


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## Toktorill (Sep 15, 2007)

"AIM FOR THE MOTHER!" (She was the most scared out of the group going through)
"THAT'S. SO. ****ING. COOL." (First time I turned on my VT)
"I love the smell of CHEESE!!!" (I scream it once per year. Old joke.)

And my favorite: the head of the club I volunteer at, speaking to my mother:
"HOW did he get so TWISTED???"


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## Booster (May 8, 2010)

At yard sale: "will you take 20 bucks for all of it?"


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## NJWilk (May 13, 2007)

trishaanne said:


> No, we can't plant some flowers in the yard....they will still be blooming in October and ruin the look of my cemetery.


I dug up my annuals, potted them, and carried them to the back yard. They were in the spot where I wanted to put the swamp. Brought them back after Halloween, left them in the pots and spread pine straw around between the pots.


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## Terra (Apr 13, 2009)

You're going golfing Saturday? YEAH! Prop day!!!!


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## TheOneAndOnlyKelly (May 7, 2009)

(While working on adding teeth to my latest monstrosity) "Now let's see, these belong on the right side of my jaw..."


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## katshead42 (Jul 30, 2010)

Isn't that what my financial aid is for?


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## Haunted Bayou (Feb 16, 2007)

"What can I do to make my house look decrepit?


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## Dark Angel 27 (Sep 11, 2008)

oh hell no! (what said this mornng when i discovered the state of my centerpiece.)


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## BioHazardCustoms (Aug 5, 2009)

(Upon cutting my thumb almost to the bone) Ah man, I'm bleeding. Quick! stick a prop under my hand!


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## randomr8 (Oct 24, 2009)

Booster said:


> At yard sale: "will you take 20 bucks for all of it?"


And " Will you take 5$ for it? I'm just gonna take it apart for Halloween."


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## nixie (Sep 17, 2008)

Said to my 15 month old, "Don't cry, you can have the bunny back after Mommy cuts off his neck, sweetie!"

Ok, that one may need some explaining: I was having trouble getting the White Rabbit's head to look right on his body, my daughter was dancing around with the head when I realized the problem was that he had too much neck...


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## Pumpkin5 (Aug 8, 2010)

:jol:Always this is me: "I could make that prop cheaper and better than that"


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## randomr8 (Oct 24, 2009)

debbie5 said:


> "I need more of a fresh, arterial blood red paint..that is more like a scab red...."


Now I couldn't type for a good 3 minutes I was laughing so hard.


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## randomr8 (Oct 24, 2009)

Goblin said:


> Stop the car hon! That dead raccoon in the road will make a great zombie raccoon!


Here's help with that.

http://www.strangehorizons.com/2004/20040405/badger.shtml


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## SuperCreep31 (Nov 22, 2009)

'I've spent my life savings of Halloween...I'm glad I actually saved up for something important.'


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## Dark Angel 27 (Sep 11, 2008)

nixie said:


> Said to my 15 month old, "Don't cry, you can have the bunny back after Mommy cuts off his neck, sweetie!"
> 
> Ok, that one may need some explaining: I was having trouble getting the White Rabbit's head to look right on his body, my daughter was dancing around with the head when I realized the problem was that he had too much neck...


I laughed my head off....please leave my neck alone.... :lolkin:


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## housedragonmom (Oct 1, 2008)

Walking through G.W. with my teenage daughter and I asked her, "So you wanna mutilate some babies later?" She, without blinking an eye said,"Nope, I'm good." Later I realized how funny that must have sounded.


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## Lagrousome (Apr 12, 2007)

Just pull something out of the hamper to wear...I haven't had a chance to do any laundry!!


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