# Bad manners.....what is your experience?



## arcuhtek (Oct 5, 2007)

My neighbor and I were talking this week (she does not do a haunt...just hands out candy) and we were sharing past Halloween experiences. Our neighborhood is really into Halloween, resulting in thousands (yes thousands) of people showing up. Last year I ran OUT of candy at 650 bags. I estimated that over 700 children visited my house in 4 hours, or about 1400 people total. I have had some bad experiences I wanted to share and I wanted to ask you what YOUR Halloween experiences were like with the kids and parents who show up at your house. I will start with a few of my own:

1. I once had a group of 5-7 "punks" ages 13-16 run up to my door, reach inside the door (which was open) grab my huge pot of candy and take off....they tackled each other in the front lawn and starting beating each other up trying to rob one another of the candy. I had to pick candy up from my lawn for days. I switched to doing individual bags from then on...

2. My first year of haunting, I had a Mother show up with two teenage daughters. I knew the Mother, so she and I talked. I told the kids to choose their own candy from my pot. The girls proceeded, in front of us, to dump the pot upside down (probably over 1000 pieces of candy) and sort out all the chocolate candy and put about 20-30 pieces into their own bags (each). I finally had to say "hey....leave some for the other kids." The Mother never even noticed, never said a word. My Dad would have beaten me like drum if I did that.

3. My first Halloween at my "new" house, I had a nosy neighbor who wanted to come inside the house just to see/tour it on any given day.(she had told me before....but I do not like her and just ignored her requests). On Halloween night, she showed up with her four girls. My sister was handing out candy and I was in costume. I was standing right next to the Mom (she did not know it) and overheard the Mom say "just pretend like you have to go to the bathroom....I dont care if you dont have to go." When they finally made it to the front of the long line, she asked my sister to come inside to go to the bathroom. My sister said the house was locked and off limits (this woman lived 6 doors down). At which point the woman began to make a scene. I took my mask off and told her that I didnt have time to stop the haunt (with TONS of people in line) just to create a public toilet. At which point she screams at me in front of everyone and tells me I am an a****le and that I should feel terrible if her daughter pooped in her pants. I told her that I overheard her asking her daughter to lie about having to go to the restroom and she should feel terrible being such a parent who would do that.

4. I have had kids visit my house 2, 3 and 4 times to get more candy.....until I finally had to run them off. They didnt even try to act like they had not been there. They DEMANDED more candy.

5. I have had people COMPLAIN about the type of candy I hand out. When in reality 99% of the people say my bads are the best ever ( I do one piece of hard candy, one piece of chocolate, and one healthy snack like sunflower seeds or rasins...PER bag.. (I spent over $300 on candy this year).

6. I have had parents complain that they showed up with their kids....and it was "only 9:30 pm and you are out of candy." They did not even flinch when I told then I had 650 bags. 650!

7. My neighbor, new to the neighborhood and not expecting the onslaught of people, ran out of candy very early, and had only stickers to hand out. She told me that last year a parent looked at her and said..." stickers...thats kind of lame."

Sorry for the novel....but I am amazed at how rude people are....how about the attitude of gratitude?

Whats your experience?


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## Death Wraith (Mar 23, 2006)

Well we don't handle near the number of people but the 'trick' of returning for candy over and over is probably universal . Also have had the occassional parent who will walk their kid right into the graveyard for a picture next to a tombstone.


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## arcuhtek (Oct 5, 2007)

I have to admit, as my haunt gets more sophisticated with lots of props, extension cords....fog to block your view, the darkness.... I do worry about people being in my yard, but I have no way to stop them without building a fence. This year I am using bails of hay but I suspect kids will still jump them.


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## Frighteners Entertainment (Jan 24, 2006)

With 7 sour experiences, I bet you've got at least, double the sweet ones!!

I must say, loved #3, you handled it well!! LOL


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## arcuhtek (Oct 5, 2007)

In my original post, I started to make clear that the bad ones are far far far outnumbered by those who have an amazing time, think I am crazy, think I am so cool to think this stuff up, cant figure out how I do it (the best feeling) or just smile. Even better...for the last few weeks I have been hearing people asking me if I am going to repeat this year...because they have told tons of friends about my house.

Ratio is about 1,000 good experiences to 1 bad one. Easily.

But it gets my goat that parents let things like this go on....I do ignore it...but I was bored today and this was on my mind.

In fact, I have a hand hel black light ($4 a windy city novelties) and an invisible ink pen. I have marked all my bags, and I will give my sister the ink pen. Each person will get a quick swipe of ink on their hand before getting candy.

The area is lit with a black lit...so i can see the "returning hands". The hand held is to inconspicuously shine into the ToTers bag.....if we see the marked bag of candy already given out early....

NO CANDY FOR YOU!

The CANDY NAZI!

Hey now theres an idea.... But I guess Nazi anything can be offending....so maybe not.


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## Revenant (Mar 17, 2007)

A couple that lives a few blocks from me still take ToT's (not many do in this 'hood anymore) and she has always been irritated with the older kids that don't have costumes. And of course, if you say "no costume no treat" they'll put up an argument. So she has special treats for the ones that come to the door without a costume.

They get a pencil.


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## Cassie7 (Sep 16, 2007)

I don't recall any really bad TOT experiences but there was one couple last year that really concerned me...

We had to shut down our haunt about 9pm due to rain but still answered the door to give candy afterward. Well, about 10:30PM, the doorbell rang and it was a young couple with infant in tow. No problem there....except...the infant was wearing a sleeveless tee shirt and it was like 45 degrees AND raining. I petted the child's arm and it was icy cold. I was appalled. The parents showed no concern at all for their child. All they did was babble about how great our haunt was. I grabbed a warm beach towel and draped it around the baby and mumbled something about the rain and they left.


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## strange1 (Mar 12, 2006)

Last night was the first night of a walk through some friends and I put on.
Nothing fancy, just something for everyone to enjoy and have a little fun.

The majority of the people were having fun and enjoying it.

But, one kid decided to punch one of the actors in the eye for the heck of it.
He was asked why he did it because the actor was just standing there and posed no threat to him.
He could not give a reason for his actions.
And of course his parents just stood there and said nothing. 

I also noticed when teen aged girls came through that they kept yelling "Don't touch me" all the way through the walk through.
They were told at the beginning that there was a NO TOUCH policy in place.

But for the most part everyone had a good time and enjoyed it.
Loads of compliments and pats on the back.


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## meestercranky (Aug 15, 2006)

we don't get double dippers but we do get a lot of teenagers... a LOT. Too old for this stuff, they should be running their own haunt. I keep two caulrons of candy, one is quality grade A candy bars for the little kids with costumes. 

The other is cheap-o candy for the teens who just walk up with a t-shirt that says COSTUME or whatever and try to jack me for a treat.

And we get a lot of older kids and even adults who walk up and ask for soemthing for their kid or sibling "at home" - I means, cars pull up and mom and dad will send their teens over to get seom stuff then work the next house etc til they get back in the car. Not sure how to handle these. Ideas anyone? I don't like telling people NO when I have all this stuff in my yard that is ripe for vandalizing in the days right after Halloween...


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## arcuhtek (Oct 5, 2007)

I like the idea of handing out pencils so much I think I am going to use it!!!


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## Evil Eyes (Aug 23, 2007)

Pencils is a great idea. Arcuhtek, I am so sad that you had those experiences. Just goes to show how these children were raised! I get bummed that I never have many TOT's to my house because I am down a sloping street and most kids are too lazy to walk down. I buy the big candy bars every year to entice people but that still doesn't work so I buy a lot (just in case) and then we gorge on them after Halloween. Maybe I should be thankful after I hear your story.

I can't even imagine the mob scene you must have going on. You have to walk a fine line because these days if someone doesn't like what you say they could come back to vandalize your property. Maybe you should have a very large set of rules in front of the house so it will discourage some people from doing bad things. Sounds like you need a security guard or two! Good luck this year. I hope everyone is polite and appreciates the show you put on for them.


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## Kurt (Sep 23, 2006)

Only four bad experiences. None major:

1) One group of teenagers without custumes
I told them, "no custume, no candy". They insisted, saying that they were skateboarders. I asked where the skate board was... Silence.

Then the bigger one just said "give me some candy."

I'm 6'2", 240#. I'm not afraid of some punk. I was, however, getting ready for a fight.

I sent them off and they came back again about 10Min latters. They had switched shirts!

Again, denied and sent on their way.

On the third try, one of them actually pulled his shirt neck up over his head and acted like a zombie. His 3 buddies didn't do anything. So I gave the one guy who tried some candy and sent them on their way.

I was afraid of retaliation, but fortunately, nothing happened.

2) Trucking in kids
When our neighboorhood was young and mostly under construction, we had a lot of kids driven in by their parents.
They barely had costumes, but I forgave them of that (and they fact that they didn't know English) and would give them candy.

3) Neighbors took all the candy
I had left the bowl of candy out while I took my kids trick or treating. I had left a sign "only one piece each, please".
My wife, along with our infant twin daughters, were just across the street talking with some neighbors when I noticed another set of neighbors walk up to the door with their very young child.
I then watched, in horror, as the dad leaned over and cleaned out the bowl of candy into his son's bag. I wanted to yell at them, but I don't think they would have understood me.

4) This year, finally had a prop stolen from my yard. A blucky I carved (ribs, skull, etc) and corpses. I had him TOO close the fence. Just too easy to steal.
Just happened last night.
I am completely bummed about the whole holiday now.
My wife helped though, she has suggested that I create a new tombstone
"In rememberence of Fred.
Born Oct. 2004
Stolen Oct. 2007"

It made me smile.

Happy Holidays everyone
Kurt


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## Beth (Sep 27, 2005)

We had our haunted barn Saturday night and 99% of the kids were GREAT!!! There were three little boys that hit some of our characters and blatently told our folks that "They couldn't touch them!!" Finally one of our actresses came up to me and said that they weren't allowed back in. That took care of that!!! They did NOT go back in because of their own atrocious behavior. I will remember them. I am Italian and we have a tendency to hold grudges for a very long time!! Hahahahahahaha!!! There were so many children that came up to me and thanked me for a great time. THEY'RE the ones that make it worthwhile... Don't forget them!!!


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## CraigInPA (Sep 28, 2007)

I've had the odd teen show up without a costume and looking for candy... I've rehearsed one of my best Pirate lines: "Arrrr....No costume, no candy... or are ye looking to join the graveyard?" as I begin to pull the real 1700's cutlass I wear as part of my pirate costume from its sheath (i'm 6'5" tall, 250 pounds. I've has very young children cry when they see me in this outfit). I've not had one that "demanded" anything. Most laugh and leave. One guy stood his ground, just staring at me. By the time the cutlass was out, he realized it wasn't a prop. So, I gave him my standard challenge to get a piece of candy (kids dressed as pirates get gold chocolate coins as a bonus) as I waved the cutlass in the air: "Talk like a Pirate and I'll give ye ye reward..." and he said "Pirates like to eat at Arrrrrrrrrby's". I lost it, burst out laughing, and handed him a piece of candy.


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## edwood saucer (Aug 21, 2006)

We have maybe 50 kids on Haloween night. I give beer to the parents so I NEVER (knock on wood) have any issues.

BUT - there is one family with 5 kids all 16 or older - don't trust'em. So I put everything out just for Trick or Treating (which has a long tradition of being the 30th in our town - then we have a parade on the 31st.)

To be blunt - my attitude is sort of "I'll parent your kid if you don't know how." You'd be amazed how it works. :^)


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## Sickie Ickie (Jun 20, 2006)

Never had any TOT's in this location in the past 4 years. Hopefully I will this year now that I've begun my yard.


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## beelce (Jul 21, 2007)

We live in the country, so we have maybe 6 tots a year. They have to come by car as the houses are far apart. So when one comes to the door they get like half a bag of candy each. The only bad experience I'v had is one night a kid ran across or yard and triped. I could see candy flying through the air from his bag. He tried to pick it up as many as he could, but gave up when our dog ran over and started eating candy. I gave him lots of candy and glo sticks...he was happy when he left.

At our party/haunt we have about 200 people running around 6 acres. I set up the haunted woods and everyone is on the self guided honor system. That has gone well also. Every now and then the kids will get a little wild and mess things up a bit, but I love to hear them screaming and running thru the woods like crazy banchees


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## wandererrob (Aug 8, 2007)

meestercranky said:


> we don't get double dippers but we do get a lot of teenagers... a LOT. Too old for this stuff, they should be running their own haunt.


Eh, nobody's too old IMO. You show up at my house in costume, I'm happy to hand you candy. I don't care if you're 5 or 50, as long as your just out having fun.

As for double-dippers... it depends. If they're inventive about it (i.e. come back in a new costume) i might chuckle, comment so they know i know of course, and give them another piece of candy (not another handful like I usually give). Just kids being kids. I did it when I was their age. There's usually no malicious intend, just some good old-fashioned mischief.

As for the rest of the OPs issues, yeah those do suck. But luckily it sounds like you've had LOTs more positive than negative experiences.

honestly, the worst I've ever encountered is the little punks who walk up and say, "I'm not afraids of you!" Fair enough. One piece of candy for them, especially if their more polite associates get a handful each. :devil:


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## wandererrob (Aug 8, 2007)

arcuhtek said:


> I like the idea of handing out pencils so much I think I am going to use it!!!


I actually had neighbors that did this exclusively as a kid. not as a punishment for lame attempts. They just didn't give out candy at all. This house was NOT popular on Halloween night.


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## arcuhtek (Oct 5, 2007)

Oh my goodness...this is funny as hexx.

Are you ready for this....???????

I started this thread days ago and it looks like I am not the only one concerned about proper Halloween behavior. It was published in my local newspaper and online.

Check this out!

http://www.citizen-times.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200771027036

Number one problem....teens without costumes and too old to ToT!


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## Daphne (Oct 18, 2006)

The most we've ever had was maybe between 100-150 kids but typically it is around 25-75. We also get the double dippers and non-costumed teenagers. I figure what the heck and give them some candy. I did learn the hard way not to let the kids pick their own though. It is simply amazing to me that they will grab multiple handfuls or pick out all the best stuff and the parents let it go. I give what I consider a generous amount to each one but it makes me mad when they take ridiculous amounts and are rude about it. My daughter's have also been given the you pick offer and they take 1 piece. If the people tell them to take more, they take 1 more. On several occasions, they have left with a handful but it was because the host put it in their bag. So help me if I caught one of mine grabbing handfuls. (I didn't institute the 1 piece rule, they did that themselves) The ones that really irritate me are the little brats that tell me I don't have any good candy, don't I have something else. It is all I can do not to grab them up by their ears and explain the concept of rude and how they are living it! My policy is if you are rude, you get 1, maybe 2 pieces and I always pick the worst candy for them! Little cute ones or creative ones always get a full handful.

On a funnier note though. A couple years ago, my neighbor had a brillliant idea. She dressed like a scarecrow, complete with plastic grocery bag stuffing sticking out of her sleeves. Some smart alec teenagers in our neighborhood came by and saw the sign to take 2 pieces. Did I mention that Shannon was sitting there in a chair with the candy bowl in her lap beside the sign? One girl loudly announced, "Hmmm, I'm taking all of it!" When she reached her hand into the bowl, Shannon grabbed her wrist. She let out the most blood-curdling scream followed by "I wasn't really going to do it, I wasn't really going to do it!" I feel confident she had to go home for fresh clothes!!


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## buckiscaryguy (Aug 7, 2007)

Last year was the first year I've had a haunt...mostly just a small graveyard with lighting, fog machine, strobe light. I have a fairly elaborate grim reaper costume and I "stalk" the graveyard...people mostly thought I was a prop until they got close. Also had a friend with a de-chained chainsaw on the roof over my porch. For the most part, it was fine and kids/parents had a good time. Had 2 punks: Justin, the 11ish turd who started out as a double or quadruple dipper, then graduated to standing on the side walk and throwing hard candy at my friend on the roof and me. Later, he came back--with his MOM--and continued, escalating to screaming the F-word (yeah, he was like 11) and Mom said nothing. The other special visitor was of the un-costumed teenager variety. He walked up to me, asked if I was "real" and then started swinging. I "gently" disengaged and, um, chided him strongly. Luckily he left with his cackling friends, but it forced us to tear down the whole thing as soon as TOT was over to avoid vandalism. This year, my state trooper brother will be there, not in costume, and with the 5-0 on speed dial to run security. Hopefully all will go well.....


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## Abunai (Oct 28, 2007)

*Bad Experience*

This is only the second year that we have approached anything that can be called a "haunt".

We built a 72'X72' maze. Total cost, so far, is well in excess of $3,000. We have 8 separate areas within the maze with props/displays. Inside the maze, there are several dead ends, in every dead end, we place a bowl of candy, operating on the honor system, letting the kids take one or two pieces from each bowl.

Well, we had a party for a group of friends the other night. There couldn't have been more than 20 kids there. We ran out of candy. The next day, we found a bag full of candy, must have been 10 pounds worth, in our house, that some poor hoodlum must have forgoten. We also found hundreds of candy wrappers inside our maze, and pieces of partlially chewed candy that had been thrown at/into our props.

I like kids, but I swear, I hope that the parents of the offenders respond to the follow-up email that we sent and teach their kids some respect.


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## Nancj (Sep 7, 2007)

We usually get alot of kids that are trucked in from other neighborhoods and this bothers some of our neighbors, but I can relate, I know from growing up when we were kids some areas weren't safe for us to trick or treat in, so our parents would take us to safer areas to do our trick or treating. For those teens without costumes, if they want a candy I make them work for it, I make them do a song and dance. As for those peskie little double dippers, I give them a good nutritious little box of raisin, that always keeps them away. one time I had someone say my candy was lame and I took it right back I said no candy for you then! she gave me a dirty look and left.


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