# Morgue & funeral thread



## RAXL

UNPLEASANT THINGS seem to happen sometimes in Romania. An 18-year-old girl, declared clinically dead in 1992, regained consciousness while being raped on a slab by a necrophiliac mortuary attendant in Bucharest. Police arrested the shocked rapist, but the parents refused to press charges because their daughter "owed her life to him." 

TWO MORGUE ATTENDANTS playing chess on the night shift got the shock of their lives when one of the "corpses" sat up and moved one of the chess pieces. Miguel Garcia had suffered a heart attack and been pronounced dead, but came to on the slab. Disoriented, he grabbed the first thing he saw -- the black bishop. He moved it three squares and dropped it. (How his move affected the chess game isn't known.) 

WHEN A TIRE BURST in 1977, the hearse carrying Gerry Allison to his funeral on the outskirts of Los Angeles overturned and crashed tail-first into the front window of a rival undertaker's parlour. The hearse doors burst open and flung the coffin through the window. Bystanders were astonished to see Allison, dressed in white burial robes, step out of the shattered glass. The crash had brought him out of a coma that doctors had mistaken for death. 

A SUSPECTED DRUG DEALER fired at the chest of agent Carlos Montalvo of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms in Westland Shopping Mall, Hialeah, Florida, in 1987. But, incredibly, the bullet was stopped by Montalvo's own gun, lodging in the empty barrel. The agent was treated for facial cuts inflicted by fragments from his 9mm Sig Sauer pistol. 

IT LOOKED LIKE DIVINE INTERVENTION when a gunman opened fire at Helen Chavez's car in Los Angeles in 1998. The bullet deflected off a tiny statuette of Christ on the dashboard, and missed her completely. 

PATROLMAN TED CARLTON was chasing two escaped convicts in Oklahoma City in 1975 when a bullet smashed through his car windscreen. That reduced the bullet's energy just enough that it was finally stopped by the thin metal frames of his spectacles, and his only injury was a gashed cheek. 

A STASH OF CREDIT CARDS rescued 62-year-old Herb Kravitz when a mugger in North Brunswick, New Jersey, blasted him in the chest in April 1993. The bullet ricocheted off his card-crammed wallet, and he escaped without even a bruise. 

HER PARENTS didn't like it, but Hayley Chidgey, 15, had a belly-ring put in anyway. Two weeks later, as she walked home in Harefield, Middlesex, in September 1997, she was struck by two lightning bolts, and her passion for body-piercing saved her life. Doctors at the Royal London Hospital told her that she survived because the jewelry diverted the electric charge, and stopped its travelling through her inside her chest. 

DECLARED DEAD after falling into a coma in July 1997, Abdel-Sattar Badawi was placed in a coffin and taken to the hospital's refrigerated morgue in Menoufia, Egypt. For 12 hours he lay there, before waking up. Climbing out of the coffin, he began shouting for help, and eventually three hospital employees came along to collect another body. They found him standing there, and one of the three, a paramedic, promptly collapsed with shock and died. His body was placed in the same coffin, and Badawi hurriedly left the premises. 

MALE READERS may want to skip this story. Angel Santana, 51, was shot with a .357 caliber Magnum pistol in January 1990, during a struggle with one of the three men holding up the New York store where he worked. The bullet lodged in his trouser zipper and, according to police spokesman Fred Weiner, the robbers were so shocked that they fled, dropping the gun. Santana, unsurprisingly, was treated for trauma in hospital. 
:voorhees: :zombie: :xbones: :jol:


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## writer93

Are these true stories, or what?


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## Hellrazor

crazy!


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## Death's Door

I don't know about the one regarding the hearse carrying Gerry Allison - How can you just get up and walk around - what about embalming fluild or is this someone turning into the "walking dead".


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## Otaku

This one is true:
Some friends and I once decided to find out if a .22 caliber bullet would make it through a 5 lb can of refried beans. It did, and after ricocheting off of a fence and an overhead fiberglass awning, it bounced off of the chest of the guy standing next to me. The beans slowed it down enough for me to actually follow it's path and see it bounce off of him. What's more, he reached out and caught the slug before it hit the ground. I know how this sounds, but it really happened.


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## RAXL

Damn, he's like Superman!


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## Otaku

We did buy him a Superman shirt, but he refused to wear it. He has the slug in a display case in his house, though. I've gotten phone calls from people visiting him who didn't believe him; I don't know if they believed me either, but it's a helluva story.


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## Johnny Thunder

*Legs cut off body to fit casket*



http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30033801/


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## kprimm

Maybe build a bigger casket? If they would have done that to me i would have haunted right down to my basement and borrowed a couple bucky legs.Then i would have hobbled up the stairs in a very frightening manner and started yelling in a spooky voice...I want my legs......I want my legs.....
I would do this every night and teach them all a good lesson.


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## Hellrazor

This isnt a one of a kind thing. I did a field placement in highschool at a funeral home and there were stores about this happening a lot. Im sure it was more real than anyone wants to admit. 

Because you know, we are all cookie cutter people in the end..... not


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## The Bloodshed Brothers

thats nuts


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## Spooky1

I just read an HP Lovecraft story that was like that.


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## Phil

At least they put the feet back in the casket. If you're going to cut the feet off a corpse to fit it in a casket, I bet you get a few redemption points for keeping them with the body instead of throwing them out.


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## Sickie Ickie

They'd make one heck of a dog toy.


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## Revenant

Or sell them to giant rabbits as good luck charms.


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## Johnny Thunder

*Maggots in the morgue*

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090522/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_morgue_maggots


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## Monk

no pics?


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## Lady Nyxie

*Wrong Body Sent To Family*

Ok, not all of the odd stuff happens in Johnny Thunder's neck of the woods. We here in this part of PA have some of our own odd stories.

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/local&id=6971470

The best part is the story about the mirror image side of things.


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## Otaku

An interesting day for all involved, I'd say. Wonder how many lawyers will hop on this one?


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## RoxyBlue

If this were a Monty Python skit, it would be very amusing. In real life, it would suck big time. As if the mourners didn't have enough to upset them already.


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## Joiseygal

I think the funeral cost for both parties should be dismissed. The funeral homes make so much money off of funerals that I think that should be the least that they can do. Also I think that is pretty bad that the funeral home isn't contacting anyone of the incident.


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## Johnny Thunder

*Man appears alive at own funeral*

"Surprise!"

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/wor...n-appears-alive-at-own-funeral-in-Brazil.html


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## RoxyBlue

Tom Sawyer did that, too


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## nixie

Must have been an interesting moment for the presumed deceased...


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## Haunted Bayou

We'd have to start making new funeral arrangements for after I killed him. No bother embalming because the alcohol has him pickled already.


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## debbie5

Here in America, we call the walking dead a SPOUSE.


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## Dr Morbius

See? Hanging out all night with your friends and drinking is a great way to keep from getting hit by a car!


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## Johnny Thunder

*1,200 pair of shoes stolen from funeral homes*

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2010/03/01/twelve-pairs-shoes-stolen-funeral-homes/


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## RoxyBlue

Now THAT's a serious fetish


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## Johnny Thunder

*Mini golf in funeral parlor basement*

Pretty cool. Anybody been there?

http://www.unnecessaryumlaut.com/?p=2556


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## Terrormaster

I love it. Like haunting you really got to have a sense of humor with death. A good friend of mine studied as a mortician and worked in a couple funeral homes. He actually had a live-in apartment on the top floor. He often told me you HAVE to have a sense of humor or you'll quit or check yourself into a mental institution. It never hit more home than the day a child's body arrived to be prepared.

Good for them and I wish more funeral homes would do stuff like this. It's anything BUT disrespectful.


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## RoxyBlue

That's definitely not your typical combination of businesses


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## debbie5

OMG! THAT WOULD BE GREAT TO DO ON HALLOWEEN! 

have a mini golf on the front lawn! I could charge money....

Ehhh..not like I would find fake grass at Curbies to build it..dammit.
That would be so cool.


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## Johnny Thunder

*Funeral home pub*

Cheers!

http://www.wpri.com/dpp/news/local_...er-wants-to-open-pub-attached-to-funeral-home


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## RoxyBlue

Perfect for an Irish wake now


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## Spooky1

Maybe they have a large Irish population.


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## BellaVega

AN open bar at the funeral, now that's my type of funeral. Although I could see many people not wanting to visit the bar because they are creeped out by funeral homes. It would be a great place for a Halloween party.


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## Johnny Thunder

*Woman dies at her own funeral*

Well, at least they were ready.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2007356/Shocked-woman-dies-funeral-heart-attack.html


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## RoxyBlue

This sounds like a story you would find in The Weekly World News right next to one about Bat Boy As my boss would say, I call BS on this one, unless it's the practice to put people in coffins without embalming them where she lived.


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## Dark Angel 27

that's freaky.

as my brother has said several times "when i die, i want you to throw me out of a plane @30,000 ft to be sure i'm dead" i think that here, this applies as well.


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## CreeepyCathy

I have to call that perfect timing.


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## Dixie

Just cannot wrap my head around this one. My prayers go out to this poor woman's grieving husband. Thats just something you can't UN-SEE.


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## Johnny Thunder

*Corpse wakes up in morgue*

Ooops.

http://news.yahoo.com/african-corpse-wakes-scares-off-morgue-staff-report-194106499.html


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## goneferal

I have nightmares about that. Bringing in a live one, that is.


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## RoxyBlue

Note to self - Leave written instructions stating that only doctors, emergency workers, or police are to determine whether I am dead:jol:


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## pensivepumpkin

is it still possible to get those cool bells with cords leading to the coffin underground? i would so love one of those. with a battery so "i" can ring the bell on occasion.


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## scareme

This article is for everyone who thinks they are having a bad day. See, it could be worse. You could wake up in a cold morgue.


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## Johnny Thunder

Hey, I got better!

Girl rises in the morgue

http://www.newsday.co.zw/article/2011-07-26-schoolgirl-rises-from-the-dead


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## RoxyBlue

Unintentionally funny quote: "It appears she had not died, but had fallen into a comma"

Punctuation will get you every time.


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## TheOneAndOnlyKelly

Period.


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## goneferal

Johnny Thunder said:


> http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090522/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_morgue_maggots


We joke that we could use morgue chickens.


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## GothicCandle

RoxyBlue said:


> Unintentionally funny quote: "It appears she had not died, but had fallen into a comma"
> 
> Punctuation will get you every time.


Hence why there is a facebook page titled "Let's eat Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives!


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## Johnny Thunder

*Funeral home lost body?*

Maybe she went for a little walk?

http://news.yahoo.com/funeral-home-accused-losing-womans-body-155414085.html


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