# Proceed At Your Own Risk



## Sinister

Some things just speak volumes on their own without a lot of introduction. That being said, I'll step out and let this one take the floor. You might want to send the kids to their room before you view this. 

Worst Music Video EVER


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## claymud

My God! I'm Blind!


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## Dr Morbius

That was....uh..I am speechless.


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## HibLaGrande

LOL, that production must of cost hundreds!


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## Dr Morbius

Heck, Hundreds AND hundreds...of pennies.


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## Brad Green

Looked a bit like the worst outtake from a high school production of "Grease"


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## uncle willie

what the **** was that...........thank god for amish counrty where it's safe!


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## Sinister

Brad Green said:


> Looked a bit like the worst outtake from a high school production of "Grease"


Heh heh! That, or John Carpenter's *Village of the Damned* discovering The Village People and tripping on acid.


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## Sinister

Just when you thought your retinas would return back to normal, I have returned to make matters worse. This one is dedicated to my buddies Doc and Hibla. Enjoy guys! 

[nomedia]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFMA_LO_ESI&search=Dschinghis[/nomedia]


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## Dr Morbius

Thanks Sin!!!That was funny too!...Although not as bad, still badly funny!


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## DeathTouch

I thought at first it was an old Benny Hill show. I was expecting someone to flash some boobs. They did flash some boobs, it just wasn't the ones I was expecting. I think the blond has some real promise in porn. I might even watch it.


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## Dr Morbius

DeathTouch said:


> I thought at first it was an old Benny Hill show. I was expecting someone to flash some boobs. They did flash some boobs, it just wasn't the ones I was expecting. I think the blond has some real promise in porn. I might even watch it.


PERV!


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## Zombie-F

They're both so bad. I think my retinas just melted. Good think I can type without seeing the keyboard.


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## DeathTouch

Oh, no I watched it again. 

I emailed the guy with the funky fresh guy in the video. He told me that the only problems they had during the filming of this video was that his hair would get caught in his locket. Filming was delayed for 5 days.


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## strange1

BOOBS, did I hear someone mention the magic word?????????


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## TipoDeemin

Oh, wow... I think a little part of me just died.

I hope this is a case of not enough pessimism to go around. You just know that there was one guy in each of these bands who was like, "Hey, wouldn't it be a great video if..." And everybody else agreed so as not to burst the poor fella's bubble. I refuse to believe that any musical group, no matter how terrible, could have come to a consensus that these would be great music videos.

In my nightmares tonight, I'll see that brunette chick prancing around. And jazz hands. Lots and lots of jazz hands.


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## Dr Morbius

DeathTouch said:


> Oh, no I watched it again.
> 
> I emailed the guy with the funky fresh guy in the video. He told me that the only problems they had during the filming of this video was that his hair would get caught in his locket. Filming was delayed for 5 days.


Did you really? How did you get his Email? I really really want it, as I am a Big Big fan! You really have all the connections, don't you..I am soooo jealous.


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## DeathTouch

Dr Morbius said:


> Did you really? How did you get his Email? I really really want it, as I am a Big Big fan! You really have all the connections, don't you..I am soooo jealous.


No, I didn't email him. I was just ****in you, because you are my favorite turd.


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## DeathTouch

Sinister is now on my **** list. My wife told me that she is going to turn off all the power to the house if I play the video again. LOL.


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## Dr Morbius

DeathTouch said:


> No, I didn't email him. I was just ****in you, because you are my favorite turd.


 I guess you don't read the dictionary while your on the ****ter ****tin on me...look up the word : _Sarcasm_...hehe


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## DeathTouch

Dr Morbius said:


> I guess you don't read the dictionary while your on the ****ter ****tin on me...look up the word : _Sarcasm_...hehe


I did, but every time I look at it the avatar keeps changing.


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## Dr Morbius

Har-d-har har


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## RAXL

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.  
You know the worst part, is they really belived the were doing good work.


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## Sinister

DeathTouch said:


> Sinister is now on my **** list. My wife told me that she is going to turn off all the power to the house if I play the video again. LOL.


 Sorry about that DT. I also humbly apologize to everyone for any uncontrollable diarrhea, spasms, sterility, headaches, vomiting, etc. :devil:  It's never my intention to sicken, merely to...entertain.


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## DeathTouch

Oh, sure you are. Today while going to menards to pick up a few things for my tombstone, my wife hit me a total of 5 times after she caught me singing and 3 times for humming the song. I was also wacked once for going down the tool section doing the train like they did in video. I also showed my chest hair at an old couple which I got another wack for that. I hope you happy.


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## claymud

DeathTouch said:


> ...I hope you happy.


I Am


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## Zombie-F

DeathTouch said:


> Oh, sure you are. Today while going to menards to pick up a few things for my tombstone, my wife hit me a total of 5 times after she caught me singing and 3 times for humming the song. I was also wacked once for going down the tool section doing the train like they did in video. I also showed my chest hair at an old couple which I got another wack for that. I hope you happy.


I don't know what's more disturbing/funny (in a trainwreck kind of way)... the actual video, or the thought of DT doing the train dance in the middle of Menard's! :googly:


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## Sinister

Once that goddamn song gets into your head, and it does after you play it a few times for others, all you can think of are Nordic fruitcakes dancing about with a bunch of poindexters in 50's style attire. Much like visions of sugarplums in that old Christmas chestnut, but more on a level with *A Nightmare on Elm Street.* Damn those crazy Swedes!  :finger:


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## dougspaulding

Oh, I don't know...I liked it!


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## Sinister

... ...I...


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## Dr Morbius

dougspaulding said:


> Oh, I don't know...I liked it!


You really need to click here.....I mean it..Click here.:


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## DeathTouch

The pictures they had in the corner, that looked like one of the guys from the video. I want his autograph.


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## dougspaulding

Dr Morbius said:


> You really need to click here.....I mean it..Click here.:


Thanks! I've been looking for a good one.


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## grapegrl

For those of you who can't get enough of ultra-talented and stylish Swedish popsters, here ya' go:

Big pimpin', Swedish meatball style!

/bork, bork, bork...


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## DeathTouch

Looks like one of those Swedes has a camel toe. That’s not possible, is it? Maybe used to Stopenfromfloppin.


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## Death's Door

Well, I have been laughing soooo hard - I cannot work for the rest of the day!!!! My mind is mush! :googly:


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## Dr Morbius

I ...uh...I...Excuse me....I'm gonna be sick!


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## Hella

OMG that is freaking hilarious grapegrl!! those outfits are just way over the top..lol It is really scary to think that ANYONE at ANYTIME thought that look was cool..lol


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## Sinister

I guess inbreeding is a world-wide epidemic and not totally indigenous to the extreme South.


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## HibLaGrande

dougspaulding said:


> Thanks! I've been looking for a good one.


Im not insane! YOU'RE insane. and stay away from my migic bag!:googly:


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## Sinister

Break it down!  

http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1684985/


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## claymud

Just when you thought Sinister wasn't going to make you want to care your eyes outta your head...


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## Chapter13

Oh god! I didn't realize my virgin eyes would be raped by these horrible images! Why did I click on the link?! Why?


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## Frighteners Entertainment

Sinister said:


> Break it down!
> 
> http://www.collegehumor.com/movies/1684985/


You suck, you suck, you suck, my hump. my hump, my hump, my little hump!


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## Hella

what is really scary is that those moves work for BOTH songs...lol


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## Frighteners Entertainment

Yeah, what ever, he still sucks for doing this to us!


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## Sinister

Heh heh heh!


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## Frighteners Entertainment

Yeah, you're a stinker!
Just remember, it will all come back ya, sometime!


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## DeathTouch

I think sinister loves to see me suffer. I think if Unpleasant street does have a Halloween DVD we should start it out with this video. It probably won't sell but oh well.


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## Frighteners Entertainment

DeathTouch said:


> I think if Unpleasant street does have a Halloween DVD we should start it out with this video.


you would! 
I thought I saw you in the background


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## DeathTouch

Frighteners Entertainment said:


> you would!
> I thought I saw you in the background


I was the guy who grab his crotch.


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## Dr Morbius

My God..It's full of stars!


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## Zombie-F

DeathTouch said:


> I think sinister loves to see me suffer. I think if Unpleasant street does have a Halloween DVD we should start it out with this video. It probably won't sell but oh well.


Now there's an idea...


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## Dr Morbius

If you do, Zombie, I swear, I'll find another forum.


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## Frighteners Entertainment

DeathTouch said:


> I was the guy who grab his crotch.


I knew it! lol


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## DeathTouch

Man, you guys must be on a sugar hi or something. LOL.


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## Faustian_Pact

High on life. A good group here.


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## Frighteners Entertainment

Crap! And I thought I could go digging around here early and not get caught!
I haven't even had my coffee yet


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## Faustian_Pact

I know the feeling! Usually when I have to talk to someone important too!


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## Faustian_Pact

Or when I go digging...


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## DeathTouch

The puppy had to pee this morning so I am on the puter giving the other dog, my rot, part of my pop tart.


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## Frighteners Entertainment

So, you going back to bed?


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## DeathTouch

probably not; the wife has a 2nd job of deliving papers and I have been working a lot of overtime but I can't sleep. Must be getting old.


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## Faustian_Pact

Pop tart. Not good for the dog. 

"Bad to Bed". Good album title.


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## Faustian_Pact

DeathTouch said:


> probably not; the wife has a 2nd job of deliving papers and I have been working a lot of overtime but I can't sleep. Must be getting old.


You are probably just over tired. Funny how life works.


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## Frighteners Entertainment

Faustian_Pact said:


> Pop tart. Not good for the dog.
> 
> "Bad to Bed". Good album title.


I fixed that lol


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## Frighteners Entertainment

Faustian_Pact said:


> You are probably just over tired. Funny how life works.


I think you could be right.


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## DeathTouch

Faustian_Pact said:


> Pop tart. Not good for the dog.
> 
> "Bad to Bed". Good album title.


Good, you can tell that to my rot then. Have fun.


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## DeathTouch

Frighteners Entertainment said:


> I think you could be right.


Does this mean I am not getting old?


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## Frighteners Entertainment

DeathTouch said:


> Does this mean I am not getting old?


quite the opposite, sorry


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## DeathTouch

But I want to be like Peter Pan and never get old or grow up for that matter.


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## Faustian_Pact

They are eating machines. I care about animal health. If you plan on giving him chocolate,..better start digging a hole. And keep anti-freeze away from them,pets can't resist that lethal stuff. Look out for bloat too. For some reason Rottweilers are prone to having their stomachs "turn" if there are too active after eating.


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## Frighteners Entertainment

DeathTouch said:


> But I want to be like Peter Pan and never get old or grow up for that matter.


I'm sure your mind won't, but the idea of you in the green tights is not a vision that I wanted....


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## Faustian_Pact

You've never seen him in tights! Give him a chance.

He can be on the cover of the "Bad To Bed" album!

PS: Frighteners". I'm not busting your chops about the typo. Lord do I have some "text" I would like to retract!


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## DeathTouch

Faustian_Pact said:


> They are eating machines. I care about animal health. If you plan on giving him chocolate,..better start digging a hole. And keep anti-freeze away from them,pets can't resist that lethal stuff. Look out for bloat too. For some reason Rottweilers are prone to having their stomachs "turn" if there are too active after eating.


Who says it was chocolate?


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## DeathTouch

Faustian_Pact said:


> You've never seen him in tights! Give him a chance.
> 
> He can be on the cover of the "Bad To Bed" album!


Because I am Bad, I'm bad, you know it. (In my ever so green tights)


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## Frighteners Entertainment

Faustian_Pact said:


> You've never seen him in tights! Give him a chance.
> 
> He can be on the cover of the "Bad To Bed" album!


The image of "The Little Green Fairy" frolicing through the tuplid garden....you can't come back from that! lol


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## DeathTouch

Frighteners Entertainment said:


> The image of "The Little Green Fairy" frolicing through the tuplid garden....you can't come back from that! lol


Oh, please come back. We will have so much fun. You pour the tea.


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## Frighteners Entertainment

Faustian_Pact said:


> You've never seen him in tights! Give him a chance.
> 
> He can be on the cover of the "Bad To Bed" album!
> 
> PS: Frighteners". I'm not busting your chops about the typo. Lord do I have some "text" I would like to retract!


No big deal to me, though, I did fix that typo. Now when this thread is read by others, they'll have no idea what you're talking about lol


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## Frighteners Entertainment

DeathTouch said:


> Oh, please come back. We will have so much fun. You pour the tea.


Now you want a tea party, I'll call the Doctor for you lol


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## DeathTouch

Frighteners Entertainment said:


> Now you want a tea party, I'll call the Doctor for you lol


Just as long as it is the Good Dr. Morbius.


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## Faustian_Pact

Where is this going?!  I'll tell you where! Straight to the bank!!

Death Touch has inspired me! Pop Tarts:For Dogs!! Awesome!

Mail-man flavor will be a top seller!

Green tights..crotch grabbing...you two!


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## Frighteners Entertainment

Faustian_Pact said:


> Where is this going?!  I'll tell you where! Straight to the bank!!
> 
> Death Touch has inspired me! Pop Tarts:For Dogs!! Awesome!
> 
> Mail-man flavor will be a top seller!
> 
> Green tights..crotch grabbing...you two!


Too funny, well except that last line, Yuck!


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## DeathTouch

Faustian_Pact said:


> Where is this going?!  I'll tell you where! Straight to the bank!!
> 
> Death Touch has inspired me! Pop Tarts:For Dogs!! Awesome!
> 
> Mail-man flavor will be a top seller!
> 
> Green tights..crotch grabbing...you two!


If the box says the pop tarts are for dogs, he won't eat them.
How would you get the mailman in those little boxes?:googly:


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## claymud

Wow... you guys can't sleep but reading that sure got me there... with nightmares about Poptarts taking shots of anti-freeze with dogs and people in green tights whilst drinking tea...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

DeathTouch said:


> How would you get the mailman in those little boxes?:googly:


Just fold and lick, silly!


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## Frighteners Entertainment

claymud said:


> Wow... you guys can't sleep but reading that sure got me there... with nightmares about Poptarts taking shots of anti-freeze with dogs and people in green tights whilst drinking tea...


Gimme a break, you love it. You read every entry! You want to see what unfolds next!!


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## claymud

Oh you know it  Just trying to inch my way into the Jockularity


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## Faustian_Pact

DeathTouch said:


> If the box says the pop tarts are for dogs, he won't eat them.
> How would you get the mailman in those little boxes?:googly:


Ahh,..so you have that kind of Rotty! He thinks he's people.
Come to think of it,..that breed is all like that. 

Mailman recipe? Hmmm...calling Eli Roth!


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## Faustian_Pact

claymud said:


> Wow... you guys can't sleep but reading that sure got me there... with nightmares about Poptarts taking shots of anti-freeze with dogs and people in green tights whilst drinking tea...


Sorry Claymud.

Bruce Campbell is on his way to straighten us out,and get you to bed safely!


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## claymud

Thats right *Sniffiling* He's going to get his boomstick and come after you guys! Then he'll be like Groovy and you'll see! You'll see!


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## HibLaGrande

Just when you though it was safe to go back in the water.... 
I present to you ,this..... (if you can watch it all the way through, you are a better man than me) 

http://i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=17358


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## claymud

I learned a long time ago because of this thread not to open up things I find on the street


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## roadkill

Don't he know mullets are OUT?


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## Sinister

Blazin' Hazin'...what a complete pansy! The only good thing about that damn video was the chick at the end circa 1981.


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## dougspaulding

Sinister said:


> The only good thing about that damn video was the chick at the end circa 1981.


1981 was a very good year (and 1982, and 1983, and 1984 - after that, it went downhill).


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## TipoDeemin

Wow, Hib... It's like I had a four minute, sixteen-second nightmare and couldn't pry my eyes open long enough to get a reprieve. I'm pretty sure the voice of Satan spoke to me around the 3:30 mark... I may now have to go sacrifice my neighbors.

...Blazin' Hazin... Wow.


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## grapegrl

Don't say I didn't warn you...


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## Zombie-F

So, does he have epilepsy or does he move like that on purpose?

What scares me the most about the Hoff is someday, he's going to have a song that's barely good enough to be a hit here. You watch. It'll happen.


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## roadkill

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHH!!!!!

My EYE! They burn! YAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHH.

When did hoff ever get the idea he could SING! HFS that was mean, nasty and all kinds of ugly!


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## DeathTouch

Alright, who brought this thread back? I just got over the nightmares and now you bring it back. You should be beaten and throw over my knee.

I love you, I wanna love you tender. 
You could be my only sweet surrender. 
I would never bring you any kind of sorrow. 

You love me, you wanna love me tender. 
How can I be sure you're not pretender? 
You want me today, 
But what about tomorrow? 

Oh, you're absolutely fine, 
Your lips are taste of wine. 
I'd like to think you're mine. 
And if I could touch your hand, 
This rock would turn to sand, 
So this is where we stand. 

You love me, you wanna love me tender. 
How can I be sure you're not pretender? 
You want me today, 
But what about tomorrow? 

I love you, I wanna love you tender. 
I just want to be your loving fender. 
I would like to take you; 
I know I can't deceive you. 

I love you, I do can be so tender. 
I can be your only sweet surrender, 
And if you give your heart, 
I'll never ever leave you. 

Oh, you're absolutely fine, 
Your lips are taste of wine. 
I'd like to think you're mine. 
And if I could touch your hand, 
This rock would turn to sand, 
So this is where we stand. 

If we all say 'Wanna love you tender," 
No-one has to be a great pretender. 
And this world would be 
A better place to live in.


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## slightlymad

PLEASE burn my eyes out with a hot poker

No whats really scary is someone somewhere loves that video hopefully somewhere in france


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## slightlymad

You i just found it and saw them all in a timespan of less than 15 minutes


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## DeathTouch

grapegrl said:


> Don't say I didn't warn you...


Ok, I didn't see that video. It thought it was going to be a good one till I saw the flashing lights and that damn singing.


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## turtle2778

Okay seriously those girls in the video could easily be his daughter. GROSS. Can he be anymore lame? "The Hoff"?? and references to Baywatch and Knightrider...Goddamn get him some welfare so he can quit making horrible music, he cant sing. The only reason he made it big in Germany is because they loved Knight rider....Come on guys lets start a "support The Hoff fund" so he never has to sing again. He is a freak....Please if there is any justice in the world someone will shoot me...im gunna have nightmares for a week. UGH


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## ScareFX

Thanks for resurrecting this thread...LOL


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## grapegrl

Ha! Believe it or not, roadkill, he's wildly popular in Germany and other parts of Europe.


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## HibLaGrande

so is eating snails and rotten cabbage.


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## grapegrl

...and not bathing regularly


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## bodybagged

First of all, let me just say once again, YOU GUYS ARE GREAT!!!!!!!!! Me being a stay at home mom, I have naught to do save cleaning. ( and who likes that) lol. I get on here and LAUGH my butt off at all the crazy antics of this site. lol. 
Second, that very first video, the brunette, leading the lawnmower conga line, I'm not certain, but I think that was my mom! lol. I knew she had some dark secrets!


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## Ghostess

This thread has totally ruined my sense of fashion, hearing, sight, and taste, and has killed what few brain cells I have left, thus lowering my IQ to -43857324857. My cats won't even come near me now.

THANKS A LOT !!!!!!!!



Lawdy those were freakin' hysterical videos! I wasted a good 20 minutes on this thread, thereby skipping washing the breakfast dishes. BodyBagged is on to something with that whole "stay on the forum instead of doing housework" thing! Woohoo!


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## Death's Door

I on the forum even at work because work sucks. Housework is just as bad.


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## grapegrl

OMFGWTFBBQ 

This band has reached a whole new level of suckitude the likes of which we probably haven't covered in this thread to date...


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## grim reaper

i dont get it it was just a crappy 80's music video did i miss something ???


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## grim reaper

ok that was CRAP !!!!!!!!!!!!! i could sing the final coutdown better than that lol what twats !!


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## bodybagged

lookie I found! LMAO!!!!!!!
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/186180/best_music_video_ever/


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## grapegrl

BB, I can do even better than that!

Behold... 




I don't think I can handle the power of the HOFF!!!

*goes to huddle in corner after watching that video*


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## Sinister

I thought my Evil knew no bounds but I think the lovely grapegrl has surpassed even my even my SINISTER bounds of Machevellian deviousness. 

GG you are truly the Wicked Witch of the North West...Florida, that is. I can't think of anything worse than David Hasselhoff doing a terrible imitation of the equally odious Tom Jones.


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## grapegrl

Sinister said:


> I thought my Evil knew no bounds but I think the lovely grapegrl has surpassed even my even my SINISTER bounds of Machevellian deviousness.
> 
> GG you are truly the Wicked Witch of the North West...Florida, that is...


Who knew evil could be so cute?  I even have a cute and evil sidekick (or familiar, if you will).

:xbones: Beware, she will devour your soul!!! :xbones:


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## Bram Bones

*Please, Spock, say it ain't so!*

Leonard Nimoy - Ballad of Bilbo Baggins (MZK)


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## grapegrl

*O. M. G.*

Since there is no emotie with an exploding head, I'll just have to use this one...:zombie:


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## lewlew

Allow me...


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## HibLaGrande

well... who knew? now I am going to be singing that all day thanks!


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## roadkill

okay - all my synapses have just imploded and my brain's leaking out the now vacated sockets of my eyes.


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## Dr Morbius

That was so.....illogical.


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## Dr Morbius

Yet another gem...well produced, but badly written.


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## grim reaper

holy **** ! you brought this retina burning thread back to life AGGHHHH, avert your eyes !!!


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## NickG

wow.


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## Otaku

Your perversity knows no boundaries, Doc!


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## Dr Morbius

I figured...why should just the old-timers suffer? LOL!


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## Lilly

I can't take it any more.


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## Hauntiholik

I'm very patriotic but that's.....that's just....BAD! Sorry Dennis Madalone.


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## tonguesandwich

grapegrl said:


> Don't say I didn't warn you...


THIS IS AWESOME... What the hell you guys talking about. Thats my new cruising theme song.....:devil:


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## lewlew

UUUmmmmmm....WOW! All I can say after seeing that gem is "REPENT SINNERS! THE END IS NEAR!" *mutters* It *must* be if we're down to watching this.


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## Hauntiholik

tonguesandwich said:


> THIS IS AWESOME... What the hell you guys talking about. Thats my new cruising theme song.....:devil:










What the....


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## DeathTouch

I hate to bring up this thread again because it has so many fine memories, but I guess some people decided to make their own dumb video of this song. Like to watch, here it come.


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## Evil Andrew

*I just couldn't take it*

any more.......


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## morbidmike

you have to admit this is a catchy tune I dig it where's my Ipod lol the best thing I think I could actually do the dance and that is saying something


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## Zurgh

I could only watch for seconds before my neural limiters kicked in... now I have forgotten that this thread even exists and don't know why I'm still typing...


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## DeathTouch

It could be worse. They could do it for a wedding.


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## DeathTouch

Or more people who are on drugs who can't dance that forgot to turn the camera off.


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## Dr Morbius

Those wedding people did a great job imitating that!


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## Haunted Bayou

You can't get any better than the train of people that appear for no good reason in the middle of the song in the original. It looks like a bad aerobics video with amateurs from dancing to the oldies. What were they thinking?


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