# John Wayne would never say that



## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Things you'll never hear in an old Western Movie, like:

"The indians are preparing for war. They've been sending text messages all day!"


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## morbidmike (Sep 11, 2009)

does anyone have any talcum powder my thighs are getting kinda chaffed ???


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## Luigi Bored (Aug 9, 2010)

I'm lost and my GPS isn't working!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Wagons.......this way!


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## Luigi Bored (Aug 9, 2010)

Come over for cocktails and conversation.


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Well Pilgrim, what are you wearing ?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Let's park the wagon over by those pretty flowers


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Col. Michael Kirby (The Green Berets):
"Out here, due process is a hug ."


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

How do Square's dance?


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## PirateLady (Jul 23, 2010)

Yo!! Who's Dat?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The wagon has a flat tire


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

John Bernard Books: I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't wear white after Labor Day. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Somebody ought to slap you in the face....but I won't......I won't.....the heck I will!


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## morbidmike (Sep 11, 2009)

we only burn green certified lantern fuel here mister


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## randyaz (May 26, 2006)

" Its ok...call me Marion"


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

True Grit (1969)

"Young fella, if you're looking for a date, I'll accommodate ya "

http://www.cowboyway.com/Clips/I'llAccomadate.wav


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

My girdle's killing me


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Courage is being scared to death... and ordering the quiche anyway.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Doesn't this flower look cute in my vest?


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

" Hey stud, have you ever been to Nacogdoches?"


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Doggies? I thought they were cattle.


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## morbidmike (Sep 11, 2009)

should I wear the paisley hankerchief or the lavender one???


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm gonna text message for help from the calvary


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Pardon me Pilgrim, do you have any Grey Poupon ?


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## badger (Jul 28, 2010)

Who's ready for appletinis...?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

This hat would look smashing in pink


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

Let's camp overnight up on Brokeback Mountain....


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

How do you like my tutu?


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## morbidmike (Sep 11, 2009)

golly gee I got dirt on my new boots


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

"Captain's Log, Stardate 43349.2. An unidentified distress signal has led to the discovery of a crashed Romulan vessel on the surface of Galorndon Core, a Federation planet. We have recovered one survivor, but Lieutenant Commander La Forge did not report back with the away team and is still missing."


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Let's go trick-or-treating at the indian camp


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Hell no, we won't go !
Hell no, we won't go !
Hell no, we won't go !
Hell no, we won't go !


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## morbidmike (Sep 11, 2009)

does this horse make my butt look fat??


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

It's fun to stay at the YMCA !
It's fun to stay at the YMCA !


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Do the jeans make me look fat?


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Money talks 
But it don't sing and dance and it don't walk...


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I wanna die with my ballet slippers on


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Aw, da poor puddytat. He cah-wushed his widdle head.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm going Trick-or-Treating at the Indian camp


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

I'm feeling a little crampy and bloated....


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Give me a Shirley Temple bartender


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## morbidmike (Sep 11, 2009)

dude check out my gun cozzie


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## PrettyGhoul (Oct 7, 2005)

"Hi Girls!!"


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

FAB-U-LUUSSssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Get the Ford Fairlanes in a circle


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

ouch! Kiss my booboo!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Wanna see me do some nifty tricks with my lariat?


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## Moon Dog (Oct 3, 2006)

I don't want to get in a fight


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Be sure to tidy up the campsite before we leave


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Les Boys do cabaret
Les Boys are glad to be.....


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

"Trick-or-treat!"


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

I'm a little teapot, short and stout,
Here is my handle, here is my spout.....


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

How do you like my pink, lacy shirt?


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

We are the flames of the fires, the whirling of the winds. We are the waters of the rains and the rivers and the oceans. We are the rocks and the stones. And now by the power invested in me, I declare we are the mighty Ya-Ya priestesses. Let no man put us under. Now our blood flows through each other as it's done for all eternity. Loyal forever. We raise our voices in the words of Mumbo Gumbo... YA-YA!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Hidy-Ho Neightbor


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

I know you are, but what am I ?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Where's my horsey?


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Karma is the beginning of knowledge. Next is patience. Patience is very important. The strong are the patient ones....


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Hello, Vinny. It's your Uncle Bingo. Time to pay the check!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

.....and now a little song and dance


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

I have chafing in my no-no zone.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Wanna see my two step Pilgrim


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something unusual.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Howdy doo stranger


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Goblin is last


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

My hemroid's killing me


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Have a merry damn Christmas, Pilgrim .


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

You're a right jolly old elf, pilgrim


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Are you a good witch or a bad witch, pilgrim?


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Crack that Whip !


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm not gonna make no movie called "Six gun Monkey!"


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## PirateLady (Jul 23, 2010)

Does this hat go with these chaps??


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## badger (Jul 28, 2010)

"Real men don't wear pink..."


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

"Hangnail!'


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

My horse ran out of gas


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## PirateLady (Jul 23, 2010)

Yo Homey! Wanna dance?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I wanna die with my pink pumps on


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## PirateLady (Jul 23, 2010)

Think I'll take up ballet


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The indians are sending text messages


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)




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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

My mount's got four charley horses in it's legs


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## rottincorps (Jun 1, 2008)

I've got a manei petty this after noon


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Does this shirt make me look fat?


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## Necronomus (Oct 3, 2011)

Feel how smooth this new razor made my legs!


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## MrGrimm (May 19, 2009)

Cucumbers over the eyelids, that's the secret


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Sometimes a man's got to polka!


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## MrGrimm (May 19, 2009)

The tighter the leather, the better...


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Get the Ford Fairlanes in a circle.


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## Frightmaster-General (Sep 9, 2011)

"I'm the Duke... of Hazzard!"


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## Spooky1 (Aug 25, 2008)

"Lets check out what they're saying about me on the Haunt forum"


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Does this vest make me look fat?


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## MrGrimm (May 19, 2009)

No I don't need pants under my chaps!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Think the indians will see through my giant chicken costume?


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## MrGrimm (May 19, 2009)

I wish I was a rhinestone cowboy.... sniff.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I want you to text message the US Marshal


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## MrGrimm (May 19, 2009)

Actually, between the two, I'd prefer aliens over cowboys


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Cattle drive? I thought it was a chicken drive!


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## MrGrimm (May 19, 2009)

Actually, Bertha here, she's much prettier than Bessie in the morning....


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Let's go trick-or-treating!


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## MrGrimm (May 19, 2009)

Hold my hand will ya? I gotta get a good cry out.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I think I'll dress up as a Ballerina for Halloween


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## QueenRuby2002 (Oct 23, 2011)

It's okay to share your feelings with the group. No one will judge you.


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## MrGrimm (May 19, 2009)

I like to knit.


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## QueenRuby2002 (Oct 23, 2011)

I can't get the back stich on this needle point right!


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## MrGrimm (May 19, 2009)

A Ho-down? Sure, and yes I've got protection... two six shooters eh!


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## QueenRuby2002 (Oct 23, 2011)

I love zombies


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## MrGrimm (May 19, 2009)

I love puppies...with bows... and little coat to keep them warm... that I knit... sitting home alone on a saturday night... watching Matlock... eating lady fingers... in my nightgown... and pink fuzzy slippers.


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## QueenRuby2002 (Oct 23, 2011)

I don't like whiskey can you give me a budlight instead?


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## MrGrimm (May 19, 2009)

Saloon? No thanks partner, where's the kennel club?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I'll have a great big pink lemonade


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## QueenRuby2002 (Oct 23, 2011)

Where is my little umbrella in my drink?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The Indians are text messaging again


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

In the Navy, yes, you can sail the seven seas.
In the Navy, yes, you can put your mind at ease.
In the Navy, come on now people, make a stand.
In the Navy, can't you see we need a hand.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Santa's elves are watching you.


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## QueenRuby2002 (Oct 23, 2011)

Sorry I don't like guns can't we just talk this out?


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Check it out, I got a new piercing.....


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Tip toe through the tulips with meeeee


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

Would you like a ride in my yellow Smart Car?


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## graveyardmaster (May 14, 2012)

get off your horse and drink your milk!!


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## Pumpkin5 (Aug 8, 2010)

:jol: I don't really like the way this holster hangs on my hips....do you have something in sequins?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Do those boots come in pink?


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## Frightmaster-General (Sep 9, 2011)

Get off your butt and join the Girlscouts!


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## Lord Homicide (May 11, 2012)

"My these flowers smell exquisite"


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

Hand me my pink robe and fuzzy pink slippers so I can let the cat out.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I'm not gonna sleep on that cold, hard ground!


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## Sawtooth Jack (Apr 9, 2011)

Does this look infected to you?


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## Frightmaster-General (Sep 9, 2011)

Aren't we pretty and cute?


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## Spooky1 (Aug 25, 2008)

I'd like to star in a musical


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## Sawtooth Jack (Apr 9, 2011)

Where are my flip-flops? These boots are much too binding.


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

Hey there fella, what's a cowboy like you doin' in a place like this? (Yeah I went there)


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## Lord Homicide (May 11, 2012)

"Screw you, I work for Mel Brooks"


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## Spooky1 (Aug 25, 2008)

Can we have walkie-talkies instead of guns?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Are you making fun of my tutu, Pilgrim?


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## Sawtooth Jack (Apr 9, 2011)

Horses, couldn't we just walk?


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## HouseBloodthorn (Aug 16, 2007)

Round up the hairdryers, cuz we're all takin' showers.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

How would you like to be a cowboy who rides an ostrich?


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

I can't find my juicer!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

OMIGOD! There's killer jackrabbits out there!


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## Sawtooth Jack (Apr 9, 2011)

Saddle up, there's a new Dolce & Gabbana outlet in Dodge city.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I feele like a polka tonight


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

Hey pardner, pass me my cellphone will ya please?


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## Lord Homicide (May 11, 2012)

Because we're neighbors means we have to be neighborly.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The indians are hopping mad now!


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## the bloody chef (Dec 14, 2012)

"Yoo-Hoo, Pard! Your chaps are just fabulous!"


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Doggies are cows? I thought they were called Moo Moo's!


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## badger (Jul 28, 2010)

Does this dress make me look fat?


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## the bloody chef (Dec 14, 2012)

"Aww...there's nothin' like an Apache sweat lodge with twelve warriors! good times!"


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Hey Barkeep, I'll have me a Shirley Temple!


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## badger (Jul 28, 2010)

I think the Russians were misunderstood...


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

My pets? Well I got a dachshund and a poodle.


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## badger (Jul 28, 2010)

I really enjoyed the 'Twilight' movies...


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## the bloody chef (Dec 14, 2012)

"Screw red. white & blue! Give me pink any day!"


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

Do these chaps make my butt look big?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Who gave that monkey a shotgun?


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## the bloody chef (Dec 14, 2012)

"Stop shooting at me, you bitch!"


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Romeo Romeo, where forth arth thou Romeo


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

Where's Walmart?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Another round of milk bartender!


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

Could you show me how to do the macarena?


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## the bloody chef (Dec 14, 2012)

"I'll have a small salad and a Diet Coke. please"


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I feel like doing a polka tonight


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

I just finished knitting this scarf, how does it look on me?


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## QueenRuby2002 (Oct 23, 2011)

'hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but heres my number, so Call me, Maybe.'


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## Moon Dog (Oct 3, 2006)

Does this horse make my butt look fat?


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

queenruby2002 said:


> 'hey, i just met you, and this is crazy, but heres my number, so call me, maybe.'


lmao!!!


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## the bloody chef (Dec 14, 2012)

"You know, I really enjoyed 'Brokeback Mountain'...brung back some fond rememberins' It was like it was my story they was a tellin'."


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I look forward to filming "Cowboy on Rollerskates", especially the big cattle drive scenes!


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## the bloody chef (Dec 14, 2012)

"I was Shirley McClain in my past life."


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## CrazedHaunter (Nov 18, 2012)

Anyone want to join me in a Pilate class?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

My next film will be Sagebrush Chef


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## the bloody chef (Dec 14, 2012)

"I really want to explore my feminine side..."


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

Does that saddle come in pink leather?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

These chaps chap!


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

(At the Starbucks counter) I'd like a decaf Caramel Macchiato, NON -FAT.


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## Evil Andrew (Nov 6, 2009)

Yes, I think it would be great to hire "the Dude" Lebowski to play me.......


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I wanna do a musical western next!


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## Ramonadona (Nov 4, 2011)

I give 2 snaps up for that amazing minimalist outfit, and that do is simply beautastic!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Bartender, a round of milk for everyone!


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## Ramonadona (Nov 4, 2011)

Does this make my gun look big?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Wouldn't I look great in pink with ruffles?


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## drevilstein (Sep 17, 2013)

Get to the Chopper!


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## diggerc (Feb 22, 2006)

Stole my horse trooper did. 
Excellent judge of horse flesh you are.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Where's my pink boots?


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## highbury (Nov 5, 2009)

I have a 4:00 appointment to get my eyebrows waxed. But I can go out for tea afterwards.


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## kauldron (Oct 17, 2011)

Who's John Wayne?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Does this tutu make me look fat?


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## Lambchop (Jan 28, 2011)

Ah shucks, I broke a flip flop.


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## kauldron (Oct 17, 2011)

Anyone have a mocha latte?


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

I'll have the cattleman's salad!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Don't you think this hat could use a feather to brighten it up?


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## Jackyl48 (Nov 13, 2013)

Hand me my lollipop!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

I never leave home without sunscreen


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## kauldron (Oct 17, 2011)

Does anyone else think it is dirty out here?


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