# ohio jokes



## uncle willie (Apr 13, 2004)

You Know You're from Ohio When...

You've never met any celebrities.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on
the highway.
"Vacation" means driving through Hocking Hills or going to King's
Island.
You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
You measure distance in minutes.
Down south to you means Kentucky.
You know several people who have hit a deer.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in
it no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition.
Example:"Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to the mall I wanna go
with."
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, or grain.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and
Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is.
You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one
page but requires 6 pages for sports.
You think that deer season is a national holiday.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly".
You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and
Construction.
You know what a real buckeye is, and have a recipe for candy ones.
You know if another Ohioian is from southern, middle or northern
Ohio as soon as they open their mouth.
You can spell words like Cuyahoga and Tuscarawas.
You know that Serpent Mound was not made by snakes.
You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Ohio
friends.
Isn't it sad? You just said "yup" and "uh-huh" or aint that the
truth" to most of these!!!


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## Ariadnesthread (Sep 15, 2012)

Aahh sir - you are awesome...I live in Dalton, OH, and everything on this list is so true, but I have to say that my favorite on the list was "Almost winter, winter, still winter and Construction". That list made my day! Thanks for making me smile


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

I believe a lot of those apply to West Virginia as well And in our area (near Washington DC), ask someone how far away anything is and you will almost always get an answer in terms of time rather than distance.

I used to live in northern Ohio and the running joke was that school was never cancelled unless there were feet of snow on the ground and the principal couldn't get out of his driveway.


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## Dark Angel 27 (Sep 11, 2008)

Funny...the majority of those jokes also apply to Michiganders too.


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## retrodoll2012 (Sep 5, 2012)

Some of these are so true. Especially the weather. I want to move out of Ohio in the worse way just because the weather.


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## scareme (Aug 29, 2006)

retrodoll2012 said:


> Some of these are so true. Especially the weather. I want to move out of Ohio in the worse way just because the weather.


We moved to from the snowstorms up north, to the tornadoes in the plains states. And on the east coast we had hurricanes. There's always weather somewhere. You can't get away from it. (Although I was glad to get away from those 10 month winters in the UP of Michigan.)


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## Haunted Spider (Sep 6, 2010)

How about adding You know you are from Ohio when your ears pop going down a 50 foot hill.... My wife has that issue every day to work as we now live in the Cleveland area and there are actually some hills here, where as in NW ohio where we grew up the hill was a 2 foot hump going over the railroad tracks.


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## highbury (Nov 5, 2009)

I'll wear my Ohio pride as a badge of honor, thank you very much!! And where are the Browns/Indians/Cavs jokes??


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## retrodoll2012 (Sep 5, 2012)

scareme said:


> We moved to from the snowstorms up north, to the tornadoes in the plains states. And on the east coast we had hurricanes. There's always weather somewhere. You can't get away from it. (Although I was glad to get away from those 10 month winters in the UP of Michigan.)


We live in Southwest Ohio so we have tornados, wonderful (sarcasm) winters if that is what they are called because all the seasons is blurred into one. Ohio is a hot mess. There needs to be a shirt that says I survived Ohio crazy weather.


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