# Sorry to Rant but...



## HauntedHacienda (Sep 16, 2008)

My Husband and I live out of State from my Parents, who just simply don't understand me anyhow, I was trying to explain things to my Mom over the phone tonight, because I was excited about possibly getting to have my Haunt Featured on our local news.
Well, when I explained to her how thins in this Industry works, she became irate and started to chew on me about it.
I ended up having to hang up on her over it.
How am I ever going to get my Family to listen and understand that we are moving into a position to get this thing to go Pro in just a few years?
Just because we don't make money at it now, doesn't mean we won't at a future date.
I Love what we do, but to not have the kind of understanding about this, just makes me wonder if doing my Haunt this year is even worth all the effort made.
I guess I am feeling a bit discouraged.
Oh well. I guess I will just keep on keeping on because I have worked myself senseless to try to accomplish this.
My Husband and I Team on this every year.
The Screams last year made it all worth it.


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## Warrant2000 (Oct 8, 2008)

We all haunt because we love it. The lucky ones haunt and get paid to do it. Someday you'll have your cake and eat it too.


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

My mom looked at my haunt one year and said "It's not THAT good..I mean,nothing MOVES". I was distraught. Cuz right then, I realized my mom #1: really doesn't "get" this part of me/desire to "DO" Halloween & #2: she is a jerk to say such a thing. Then I got really mad that I was really hurt by her comment...it took a while for the hurt to wear off....

Just keep on doing what you love to do. I guess our parents can be jerks sometimes, just like our friends. It does hurt, cuz we care what they think about us... but if you have Halloween in your heart, and a burning desire to make Halloween amazing for kids, then you will keep on keeping on...no matter what the budget constraints, etc.


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## jdsteel82 (Aug 27, 2010)

My parents never understand me, and my thinking on anything...except Halloween. So I know how you feel in general.

My peeve is when somebody just got done listening to me explain what I am trying to do, and says "that sounds like too much work"... AGH! Ok Mr. Henry Ford your idea to make a Assembly line for cars sounds like too much work! Mr, Buzz Aldren/ Niel Armstrong going to the moon sounds like too much work!

Ive learned to ignore people for the most part, but I still have that want of understanding or at least some support!


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## Kaoru (May 6, 2009)

I think everyone wants to have acceptance by at least one person on their halloween haunt. Take it one step at a time and don't let the family or friends discourage you from what your doing. Who knows you might win them over and even get them to participate. Keep your chin up and move forward.


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## HauntedHacienda (Sep 16, 2008)

Thanks, ya'll. That seems to be the concensus among those that Love my work and know what I do.
So I guess Haunt goes on as scheduled.
I have a Fund Raiser coming up tomorrow and Saturday.
Hopefully, we will raise the money to get everything together and make this Haunt happen.
If we need to do one more next weekend, to get it to all come together, so be it.


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## tot13 (Jul 25, 2007)

If someone doesn't "get it", their education can be slow, but they will come around. I experienced the same thing with my family, as I suspect many others here have as well. Persevere. They will come around. Now my family thinks I should sell everything I make and realize how much better it is than the crap you can buy - and then I show them the stuff the folks on HF make, lol.

Think about this: if we were all on the same page about everything, the world would be pretty boring. Just keep "educating" yourself and things will pay off in the end.

And don't be disrespectful to your folks.


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## remylass (Sep 18, 2008)

I have just learned to ignore a lot of these kinds of things, but when they come from family, they hurt more. Luckily, my husband and most of my family support it. They think it is cool. Actually, in my family, I may do the biggest display, but several others do yard decor too.

At work, however, I am considered an odd duck with the Halloween stuff. I feel like no one in my department gets me. That's ok, though. I don't really get them either.


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## sickNtwisted (Sep 29, 2010)

You have to live your life the way YOU want to, regardless if anyone understands. This should give you more momentum to do the things you love. 
We understand and support you and I think it's safe to say that we're here if you should ever need us.
Go Pro, be successful and then maybe she'll be more willing to understand


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## HauntedHacienda (Sep 16, 2008)

Yeah, about $100,000.00 or maybe even a few Thousand sounds pretty good for just one night's work. Same for the Christmas stuff, which I do once the Halloween stuff is put away, sounds pretty great to me.
And no, I am Not disrespectful to my folks, they disrespect me and I end up just hanging up on them because I Refuse to take their Crap and Negativity.
I tried E Mailing them to explain how things are from my end - no answer. I guess they are not speaking to me.
Oh well. 
They can just go on with their lives and I am going to just go on with mine.
I simply told them that this is my life and that if they don't like it, well, they can just stay home and Not visit at all next week. 
It would be all the same to me.
I was going to go out there to CA in Nov., but I am re thinking that too.
Last time we tried to go see them out there in CA., they wanted nothing to do with us and Refused to stay around to even have a moment of time with us.
Oh well.
I guess once my Elderly Grandmother passes on, then I guess I won't have any need to speak to my Parents and am going to take my stuff Pro and be one of those few that Makes It.
I know I have a few years yet before that happens. Have to build things up and get the Scariest part of the Haunt going.


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## Dark Angel 27 (Sep 11, 2008)

I have that problem too. when i first told my mom what i wanted to do, she ragged at me about how what i was doing was wrong. I know i'm about to get the same treatment from her once she gets down here. I don't care what she thinks anymore and my brother rags on me too...but i won't get into that again.

the most i can do is to keep at it...and keep at it.

Don't let her get you down!


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## Kaoru (May 6, 2009)

You know the irony of this is it really does take time and patience. LOTS of patience!  Once you keep at it and don't give up your families and friends will see how serious you are about it and begin to look at it in a different light. I hope you all who have problems with your family will be able to win them over sooner rather then later. 
Oh and to the user who had to hang up on your mom, understandable with your reaction but slowly try to mend fences and if your mom or parent is still so dead set against halloween, just leave it alone and do your thing. I'm assuming you live far away so I wouldn't sweat it. The good thing is DISTANCE is GOOD!


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## Darkwalker (Jul 4, 2010)

Wow. Glad to know I'm not alone. I'm feeling a little discouraged right now myself.
I thought my wife and kids would really be more into this than they are.
They've helped a little but only because I asked. They darn sure haven't volunteered to help do anything. 
But what really got me was the night I first lit up my partial display.
No one came out to look at it. Now, I'm a big guy. And My feelings rarely get hurt. 
But they did that night. I just keep reminding myself who I'm doing this for.
First and foremost, myself. Halloween is my Christmas. Secondly, the tot's.
I do think that after the night is done the fam will feel a little differently about it.


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## fick209 (Aug 31, 2009)

Keep doing what you are doing with your haunt. It makes you happy, it makes your husband happy and it makes everybody who visits the Haunted Hacienda happy as well! 

I can sort of relate to you. My dad loves to stop by my house and ask if I need help with anything Halloween related all year long....my mom however had not stopped at my house during the month of October for the past few years. She has always said it is ridiculous how much time and money I put it into it. Bottom line, she believes I should be spending my time and money wiser. HOWEVER, what I thought was impossible happened just last week. My mom called and asked if she could help an any way on Halloween night! The point of my little story is, my mom has finally realized that I do all of this, not just because I enjoy it, but also because the kids in town enjoy it so much. My mom came around, maybe your Mom will come around in time as well. Good luck!


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## Kaoru (May 6, 2009)

fick thats great! I'm very happy for you! And yeah it all takes time!  I'm sure all of you guys will eventually get to that point with all your loved ones. Keep that Halloween spirit glowing and eventually it will reach the important people around you. Hugs to all who feel down with this. Wish you guys all luck with props and work this Halloween season!


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## Terrormaster (Sep 27, 2007)

Kaoru's right. When we first started most of her family thought I was crazy. Now most of em have come around and they all eagerly anticipate what we're going to do now. Kaoru's parents I don't think are completely in to it but they still come by now and hang out. Its a great excuse for family to gather and they do see how the neighbor and ToTs enjoy what we do and how happy it makes us doing it.


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## randomr8 (Oct 24, 2009)

I hate to say how lucky I know I am. I get along with my in-laws, and so does my wife. My mother-in-law drags her friends over here to look at My Halloween. Friends think I'm crazy but like it. If I ever had the inclination to go pro I think I'd get the same support. 
I sincerly wish that kind of support on all haunters.


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## HauntedHacienda (Sep 16, 2008)

Thanks Kaoru.
The E Mail I sent my Mom I think did the trick.
She still thinks I am Nuts for this, but then, I am more than a little pleased that I live so far away.


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## Acid PopTart (Oct 29, 2007)

I lost touch with my mother once over a difference of opinion; I've not changed my mind and neither did she, but those were some of the most difficult months of my life because we truly love each other. We *both* needed to get over our own issues and just realize that hey, just because we don't agree on a few things doesn't mean we aren't still family. Ever since that separation - we've worked really hard to get to know each other all over again, it's been really great. Sure we still have our differences, but we learned to listen to each side now and move past the petty stuff.

I really hope that perhaps you can do the same with your parents. Now, with all that being said, I unfortunately have a very problematic relationship with my father.... it seems we've exhausted all options there I suppose. 

I'm also super lucky, my mom has always loved Halloween and we've long decorated her yard together when I lived in a place with no yard. We live in different cities and she's way out in the country, so in love with Halloween and wanting to share it with me still, we're doing "Hallowgiving" and combining Thanksgiving and Halloween together since I'm always at my house now for the trick or treaters. Extending the holiday even more.

My mom does think I can go overboard at times with money spent in my craft, but she's gotten use to it as she sees it's not going to change. Plus I work in film and the print industry, so I'm usually getting double duty out of most of my work! 

Do it because you love it, parents can be discouraging and even depressing, but stay true to YOU and just keep sharing with us and doing what you do!


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## Death's Door (Mar 22, 2006)

Keep doing your thing HH. With all the above posts, us haunters are in accordance with how you feel and what you are dealing with. 

I have always kept the motto that I do Halloween because it's my holiday and I do it for me. Everything and anyone else that gets to enjoy my front yard-I'm glad for them. However, I do it for me. As selfish as that sounds, I take care of my family 365; I still keep up the household chores and remember birthdays and am Mrs. Claus for Christmas because hubby is Santa and that is what he likes to do. Otherwise, I wouldn't be dressed as Mrs. Claus, so when it comes to Halloween, it's all on me and if you want to join in, by all means, if you don't, that's fine too-Just don't get in my way-I got some haunting to do!


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## NytDreams (Sep 10, 2009)

Thing is, we do this because *WE* love it, not because someone else tells us they approve. 
My grandmother absolutely hated our Halloween yard. Thought it was horrible and made faces every time she looked out the front window or had to go outside (she lived with us b/c she couldn't live alone anymore).

My mother and I LOVE Halloween and put everything out ourselves. My aunt loved it too until a family dispute and now no one talks anymore. *sigh*
Anyway, we love Halloween and we love to be the ones to scare people. We love making things, even if we're slow at it and just learning, and people around the neighborhood are starting to notice. We got some awesome compliments last year and promises for coming back this year. Our immediate neighbor kids have been pestering us about when it's all going up! We've started, just so much going on that it's slower than we'd like.

Be proud of your work and really do it well because it's what you love to do!


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## trentsketch (Jul 27, 2009)

I learned my family doesn't get it the first time they took all my props to the curb and smashed them down with a baseball bat to fit into the trash cans because they didn't understand how much work went into homemade props

You do it because you love doing it no matter what.


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## TeddyMadison (Oct 14, 2010)

Oh my god, I had no idea this kind of rejection went on. My wife, while not into it, supports me and was very dissapointed that I took the year off last year. My mother stops by on the night, my sister in law is a ghost fanatic. Maybe it's because I'm in New England and we all seem to have a special place in our hearts for Halloween. but anyway, my year off was because I am on a dead end so the ToT traffic is very low, I felt like there was no point. And then on the night, as I sat there with nothing to do, I realized I had an emptyness in my being. that's when I realized who the most important ToT was, ME!


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## BioHazardCustoms (Aug 5, 2009)

The first two years my parents saw my yard display, I was told that I could find a way to blow money, while locked in a room by myself. The third year, my step-dad called me while I was cruising some of my favorite curbie's locations and I told him what I was doing. Once he realized that I wasn't spending ridiculous amounts of money, and that I was doing it because I enjoy building props, he has since never mentioned it. I think he sees this as my gardening(his hobby, and lets not discuss the money spent on that). My mother, on the other hand, could watch me take a pile of scrap lumber and build a cemetary fence out of it, and still want to know why I'm "wasting valuable time" doing this. I've worked both sides of the fence in the Halloween industry having been a pro haunt actor, helped building and setting up SFX in a charity and a pro haunt, and now as a home haunter. I don't do this for money, and the only cause for my prop building is to keep the spirit of Halloween alive in this world. Your mother may come around, or she may always think you're a nutjob. The question is: Do you enjoy haunting? if the answer is yes, then that's all that matters.


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