# How Most of Those Nasty Rumours Start About Halloween



## Sinister (Apr 18, 2004)

I'm not even going to get longwinded to start this post. Once you hit the link, it will all become apparent.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0011/0011_01.asp


----------



## Zombie-F (Apr 12, 2004)

With the address chick.com, it's apparent already. The Chick tracts are responsible for some of the most ridiculous misconceptions surrounding my favorite holiday.


----------



## Sinister (Apr 18, 2004)

Did you read the "periodical" that went with the link?

Yep, ol' Jack sees a Masonic Lodge and Catholic church being built in every neighborhood, with a Neanderthal in every tree lobbing coconuts at passerbyers, witches drawing pentegrams on the sidewalks in lieu of hopscotch grids and cackling demons lurking behind every other persons shoulder that aren't the "Born Again" folks of his pamphlets.


----------



## claymud (Aug 21, 2005)

I know this is old and unrelated but I have to say it. I got my Shadowlands newsletter and it had this artical about Halloween in it. Well it said that the reader should check out this site. I skiped over the most of it but got the point that the person who was writting it didn't like the holiday. 
Then they gave recomedations witch just made me go downstairs and tell my mom through a fit of laughter. a few of these recomendations.
1) pass out panphlits along with Candy of the dangers of Halloween.
2) Get together a teen rally and have them cast out Halloween.
3) RENT A JESUS MOVIE!!!
4) Go as Bibal charecters.

Now I have to say... Bibal thumpers are the funniest.


----------



## Vlad (Aug 2, 2005)

I only have two things to say about that whole story.

#1. Blondes make "THE" hottest witches.

#2. I'm glad Jerry and Susy were okay.


----------



## Dr Morbius (Sep 21, 2004)

Amen.


----------



## ScareFX (Aug 18, 2004)

It's clear. Crystal clear. Jack is whack.


----------



## Dr Morbius (Sep 21, 2004)

Amen..Can I get a witness?


----------



## HibLaGrande (Sep 25, 2005)

I got one of these when I was a kid! What a piece of ****. We need someone in the field tracking the sheep handing this crap out and unleash our lord Satan's unholy might against them.... uh oops, wrong forum. thats the speech for tomorrow night down at the docks at midnight.


----------



## ScareFX (Aug 18, 2004)

HibLaGrande said:


> .... uh oops, wrong forum. thats the speach for tomorrow night down at the docks at midnight.


LOL


----------



## shaunathan (Sep 18, 2005)

*hey now...*



> Yep, ol' Jack sees a Masonic Lodge and Catholic church being built in every neighborhood, with a Neanderthal in every tree lobbing coconuts at passerbyers, witches drawing pentegrams on the sidewalks in lieu of hopscotch grids and cackling demons lurking behind every other persons shoulder that aren't the "Born Again" folks of his pamphlets.


Hey now, Don't drag the masons in on this, as long as you worship "A" god you are in, it doesn't have to be "THE" God these people with the pamphlets represent.

but yeah these people are crazies, I have read natzi propagana that had more truth than this. :googly: :googly: :googly:


----------



## HibLaGrande (Sep 25, 2005)

my buddy is in the free masons. That's all I know he won't tell me anything that goes on in there. secretive punk anyway. I think they mostly sit around and drink beer and watch pornos in their underwear.


----------



## Beth (Sep 27, 2005)

That is the biggest bunch of hooie that I have ever read!!! I guess that these are the same people that ban "Harry Potter" to their children. Extreme zealots!!! They need to GET A LIFE!!!!


----------



## claymud (Aug 21, 2005)

Yeah I agree full hartetly but I think that Bibal thumpers make for great entertament because they have no idea what their talking about... But it still pisses me off. We don't have Sunday shopping in NS... now can anyone tell me why, it goes a little somthing like this.


'If you vote for Sunday shopping your going TO HELL!!!!!'


----------



## Beth (Sep 27, 2005)

We used to have that here in Missouri. It was called the "Blue Law". I was all for repealing it, but now, (Not for religious reasons) I am for having it brought back. As it stands now the people that work retail get the **** end of the stick so I think that we should give them at least one day a week off.


----------



## HibLaGrande (Sep 25, 2005)

I think this year I'm going to place a sign up above a trash basket with one of those booklets display on it. "If you got one of these ,trash your psychopathic religious propoganda for a bonus treat". then take the ones I'v collected and insert my own comic into them. You know short stories about pedophile priests and killing is OK as long as it's in the name of god, the salem witch hunt,and the true worship of money. you know the real truth. MWaahahah. Then recirculate them outside a fanatical church dressed as Jesus next year. I am most certainly going to hell. Bahaahhahha! 

(flame on)


----------



## dougspaulding (May 22, 2004)

HibLaGrande said:


> I am most certainly going to hell.  (flame on)


What hell?


----------



## HibLaGrande (Sep 25, 2005)

....uh according to those peoples belief system. my thought of hell. If I believed in such hooplah would be to spend eternity with those people. "Look out pearly gates here I come"


----------



## dougspaulding (May 22, 2004)

HibLaGrande said:


> If I believed in such hooplah would be to spend eternity with those people. "Look out pearly gates here I come"


Actually, _those people_ are likely the ones to miss out on the _Pearly Gates_!


----------



## HibLaGrande (Sep 25, 2005)

dougspaulding said:


> Actually, _those people_ are likely the ones to miss out on the _Pearly Gates_!


How could you doubt their holy conviction? You shall be burned at the stake for such heresy! While cleansing in flame, you shall meet the all powerful Gumagie the golden muskrat! Within his holy aura you shall fall to your knees before him and offer up your rod and your staff to satisfy his ravenous hunger. Only then will your spirit be clean and worthy of eternity in the land of potato salad just beyond the pearly gates! Heed my warning nay sayer, Gumagie awaits us all!

Or you could just make a donation, for Gumagie the golden muskrat will ease your burden of all your worldly stuff.

or something to that effect.


----------



## dougspaulding (May 22, 2004)

HibLaGrande said:


> Within his holy aura you shall fall to your knees before him and offer up your rod and your staff to satisfy his ravenous hunger.


You said rod.


----------



## GOT (Apr 17, 2007)

My wife was a kindergarten teacher at a school about 1/2 a mile from our house so she invited the entire class to my haunted garage. One of the kids walked up to her a said, "But Ms. Beach, that's the Devil's birthday!" She was caught off gaurd and finally mumbled,"Well, we don't celebrate that part." Poor kid. We quickly went through the twenty pounds of candy I bought so I guess he didn't have much influence over his friends.


----------



## theworstwitch (May 27, 2007)

People are so crazy. If Jesus came to save us from Satan, why is there still "evil" that we need to be saved from? Is Jesus on vacation?
I went to Catholic lessons for a few years when I was very young, and they told us they would rather people be satan worshipers than atheists cos at least satanists believe in the christian concepts of god and devil. 
What's off putting is that the illustrations look so familier I think I saw this thing back in high school!
Ugh. I'm gonna go rub myself with a Black Sabbath CD.


----------



## slightlymad (May 25, 2006)

Just make sure its the Ronnie Sabbath that way satanism and catholicism is covered in the same rub.


----------

