# Dumbest Horror Movie



## Non Compos Mentis

What horror movie in your opinion is the dumbest thing you ever saw?
I've seen so many and it was hard to just choose _one_.

My choice is TCM: The Next Generation. This movie was just so dumb, period. Anyone see it? Leatherface acted like a retard in this movie.
The ending was crazy and made me go, huh.

My other choices were: SICK, Lover's Lane, Scream Bloody Murder, American Nightmare, and Camp Fire Tales. If I didn't choose TCM, I would've probably chosen SICK. It was a tough choice, but I think TCM took the cake and ran with it IMO.

If you haven't seen this movie, don't. Unless, you are like me and sometimes like to watch _dumb_ horror movies. They can be fun to watch when you are drunk.  Sometimes a dumb horror movie can make you realize that a good horror movie is hard to make.

So, what have you seen that was really, really dumb.


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## DarkEmpress

IMO 28 Days Later was the dumbest horror movie ever made.
I know a lot of people liked it, but I absolutely hated it.


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## Zombie-F

I'd have to agree with NCM that TCM:TNG is among the cream of the crop, dumb horror movies. It's right up there with Manos: Hands of Fate and Halloween: Resurrection.

Huh, just noticed that my top three dumbest horror movies all have colons in their titles. Coincidence? Perhaps not. :voorhees:


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## Rocky

It's hard to pick one... I'll go with House of the Dead. The other ones I can think of are Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan, Jason X, Darkness Falls, Dreamcatcher, Andy Warhol's Dracula, and I could go on and on!


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## Sinister

I have to go with Rocky on the *House of the Dead* mention. This is an example of not only having the wrong director attached to a movie, but having a sizable budget and looking for all the world like it was filmed with a budget that consists mainly of loose change found between the cushions of the couch. There were just so many illogical and unexplained reasonings behind the premise to this film that one really doesn't know where to begin. I suspect that even die-hard fans of bad Horror films even hated this one. That being said, I shall add others to the "Hall of Shame." As always, INPO:

1. *Jason X* 
2. *The Texas Chainsaw Massacre* (The original. At least the remake had SOME REAL ACTORS attached to the film. **** it! Add the remake here too.)
3. *Video Dead* 
4. *Martin* 
5. *Legion of the Dead* 
6. *Popcorn* 
7. *The Brotherhood* 
8. *The Blair Witch Project I & II* 
9. *Return to Salems Lot* 
10. *Halloween III: Season of the Witch*


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## Citizen Tallee

Hmm.... well, let's go with...


Evil Laugh
Urban Legends: Final Cut
Dracula 2000
Texas Chainsaw: Next Gen
Jason X
Valentine

If more come to me, don't worry -- I'll add 'em.


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## DarkEmpress

I kinda liked House of the Dead...but anyways, I have others to add to my list.
-Dreamcatcher
-Salem's Lot 1&2
-The Night Flier
-The People Under the Stairs
-Wes Craven's Don't Look Down (I liked the plot and everything, but they could have put more detail into the movie)
Thats it for now...I'm sure I'll think of some more.


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## Sinister

Dark Empress, I must ask...and please do not get overly offended, but...WHAT DRUGS WERE YOU TAKING WHEN YOU WATCHED "HOUSE OF THE DEAD, AND DECIDED YOU "KINDA LIKED IT?" Please, if you have any left over, share it with the rest of us, because you are ABSOLUTELY the first person I've heard of that hasn't said a disparaging remark about that piece of garbage. Maybe your "stash" will make the rest of us appreciate it more. It's doubtful, but miracles HAVE been known to happen from time to time.

Oh, add *Zombi 3, Zombie 4: After Death* and *In the Woods * to my list. Those movies have to be seen to appreciate exactly how terrible they are. Any one of them make *The Dead Next Door * seem like a Tolkien Masterpiece by comparison.


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## ReelHorror

Zombi 3
House of the Dead
Children of the Living Dead
I still Know what You Did Last Summer - The title alone is stupid

I really hate those horror movies that are made by three friends who put all of their inside jokes in it thinking that they are actually funny. 

Monsturd is a perfect example of this. Cheerleader Massacre (I think that's the one) is another.


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## death2u

Jason X
Freddy vs. Jason


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## Zombie-F

ReelHorror said:


> Zombi 3
> House of the Dead
> Children of the Living Dead
> I still Know what You Did Last Summer - The title alone is stupid


Yeah, it should be called "I Still Know What You Did TWO Summers Ago". Dumbasses.



ReelHorror said:


> I really hate those horror movies that are made by three friends who put all of their inside jokes in it thinking that they are actually funny.
> 
> Monsturd is a perfect example of this. Cheerleader Massacre (I think that's the one) is another.


Another example of that would be _The Dead Hate the Living_, though, I think that may be more like a movie that produced a ridiculous amount of name dropping, by talking about Zombie movies that are way better than it.


Children of the Living Dead
NOTLD 30th Anniversary Edition (who really cared that much about the graveyard zombie?)
Quicksilver Highway (a really bad anthology movie)
Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (aka Children Should Stick to Making Porky's Movies)
Blair Witch 2
Friday the 13th Part 8 (how does a cruise ship go from a lake to NYC?)


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## death2u

I should add:
Scream series
I Know What You Did Last Summer series
House of 1000 Corpses
Dracula 2000


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## Sinister

For another update to this topic, just check out my Worst Horror films of 2005thread.


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## RAXL

Ouch. Everybody's hating on JASON X. :voorhees: 

C'mon, Friday the Thirteenth part 5 was far, far worse.

Zombie and I know a kid who has stated honestly, that TCM:TNG could be the most brilliant film of all time. I kid you not.  

Amityville 3-D is an absolute turd of a film.


Trying to steer this in a direction of original films, not sequels (cause they always suck) let's see were we go:

Blair Witch. I don't really think I need to say anymore.

House of Death. Which is not the same as House of the Dead. But did inspire a great, great BADASS song.

The Terror. Yes, the terror of trying to stay awake, watching Nicholson, in like, his first film.

I Know What You Did Last Summer. Yes, yes, JLH looks wonderful and all, but what a horrid little film.

Urban Legend. What a great IDEA, that was totally destroyed in the execution of this film.


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## Otaku

Many of the previously mentioned flicks are on my "worst" list as well. I'd also add:
Attack of The The Eye Creatures (the extra "The" was actually in the film's title)
Robot Monster
Attack of the Giant Leeches
The Aztec Mummy
I should mention that the only reason I watched these was that they were on MST3K.


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## Sinister

*Jason X* suffered mainly because of that stupid android. I liked where they tried to execute Jason in the electric chair. That was pretty sweet.

No, I think *Jason Takes Manhattan* to be the worst of the bunch or *Jason Goes To Hell* but Part Five is definitely in there somewhere. The first one is okay, the second much better, three---meh, Four is my second favorite, Five blows, Six is the best of the bunch, Seven wasn't all that bad, Eight also blows and so do the last two. So just about five of the whole series are worth watching. That's still a damn sight better than those of the *Halloween* franchise, which only has three. :voorhees:


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## claymud

I'm sorry, I know this is some peoples favroit movie... but I'm gonna say it. Polterguist, I guess I'll say Polterguist three too. I mean it was the first 'horror' movie I'd ever seen and it made me sit there and go 'Oh come on!'

But I do have to say Family Guy did a great parody of it, the creepy old guy saved Chris from the nast old tree


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## Sinister

Hey, lil' buddy, I'm behind you all the way as far as *Poltergeist* goes. I never understood the attraction to the film. The Tangina character grated on my rawest nerve by simply speaking. After that everything simply went downhill. Didn't see the third one, so I'm not qualified to say good or ill of it.


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## roadkill

Was "The Howling" mentioned yet?


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## Sinister

roadkill said:


> Was "The Howling" mentioned yet?


BLASPHEMY!    It's one of the best lycanthropic features out there. Pray tell, what did you not like about it?


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## roadkill

Sinister said:


> BLASPHEMY!    It's one of the best lycanthropic features out there. Pray tell, what did you not like about it?


the wimpy werewolves - especially Dee Wallace as a "cute" werewolf - the story line was mediocre (imo) - some of the FX were decent.

now - if were talkin' lycanthropes what about Dog Soldiers (as a GOOD fx choice).

It could also be working in theaters when the Howling was hitting the screens - I just got tired of it. In general if it's on I'll go to another room though. I just couldn't stand it.


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## Sinister

You're right in many of those respects, roadkill. I can forgive many of the films woes just for the performance of Robert Picardo and his transformation scene alone. There were some other good acted parts, but for the most part, it wasn't a very good storyline. Don't even bother with the book if you ever find it, it's even worse.

*Dog Soldiers* had a very good story, credible performances all around especially with the characters of Cooper and Ryan. I would have liked a transformation scene, but other than that, no real complaints about the movie.


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## roadkill

As memorable as it was I recently saw ( and shut off ) a movie purported to be the Australian version of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

In a word

PUTRID!

One of the worst movies SWMBO and I have ever had the displeasure to have seen/rented/bought. I cannot recall the title - the movie was THAT memorable. The acting was pathetic, the few props were cheesy and weak, and the whole experince left me retching and gagging.

If anyone can think of this film by all means alert everyone as a warning.


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## claymud

The two Exorsist Prequels... I am sorry but I saw the end of the newly released one... I am glade I didn't wast two hours of my life watching this one, the end was bad enough. 
That was Denomination, Beginings was a great movie compared to what I saw from this one, at least the exorcism was interesting...ish.


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## dougspaulding

Sinister said:


> It's one of the best lycanthropic features out there. Pray tell, what did you not like about it?


I must agree with Roadkill. I've always thought *The Howling* was kind of a weak werewolf picture - sort of like it was held together with spit and baling wire.


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## TipoDeemin

Worst horror movie ever: Hell's Highway. Directed by Ron Jeremy and featuring a plotline a road trip and clones with grandiose Satanic delusions, this is far and away the worst thing I've ever seen. It's worse than Plan 9 From Outer Space. However, it's very entertaining to laugh at...


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## dougspaulding

As a big Ed Wood fan, I love *Plan 9*, and would suggest that Ed's 1965 offer, *Orgy of the Dead*, to be his worst: A young, middle class couple gets lost and winds up at judgment day. Here, with Criswell presiding, a whole bunch of strippers do their acts one after another. I got tired of the dancing and fast forwarded to the wonderful dialog between the nudie acts. A werewolf and mummy show up too. This is amazing.


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## Sinister

Can't believe you like Wood, but don't like Dante's werewolf offering. Something very wrong with that...


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## TipoDeemin

I'm a fan of Plan 9 as good cheese.  But I like the concept of it better than actually watching it.


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## mrklaw

I'm surprised that no one has mentioned "Silent Night Deadly Night". That movie was awful.


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## grapegrl

_Vlad_

While flipping through the movie channels on DirectTV one night, I came across this stinker. This was an interesting premise for a vampire movie ruined by a disjointed story, lame effects, gratuitous nudity and sexual situations (I know that some of the guys might disagree and say that there is no such thing as "gratuitous nudity", but the gals in this movie were definitely nothing special.), stupid cardboard-cutout-cliche characters, and Billy Zane sporting the corniest generic Eastern European accent you've ever heard. Next time there's nothing else on TV, I think I'll just do a load of laundry or mop the floor instead.


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## RAXL

Oh, lord, I've seen that VLAD flick too. I checked it out one night just to watch Billy Zane, who usually kicks ass in whatever he's in, but even he couldn't salvage that one.


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## Non Compos Mentis

mrklaw said:


> I'm surprised that no one has mentioned "Silent Night Deadly Night". That movie was awful.


I've always wanted to see this film, but never have. Maybe this upcoming Christmas, I should watch this and Black Christmas back to back.

I'll be drinking...so at least I won't be bored. LOL!


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## Faustian_Pact

Nightmare on Elm Street 2 drained the life out of everyone it came in contact with. Robert Russler excluded. He was in Thrashin' baby! Should have won
an Oscar. He was robbed. Nobody messes with the Daggers. I hear in retaliation they torched the academy voters skate-ramp.

Billy Zane doth kick ass;Raxl. He needs the right part. I've got it!

Zane and Russler as buddy cops in a remake of "Dead Heat".

An ironic title if the movie is cast entirely with B-to-C level former players!


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## Sinister

Billy Zane did have the right part. It was as the Collector in *Tales From the Crypt: The Demon Knight.* :devil: Zane turned out one of the best bad guy one-shot's I have ever seen in that film.


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## Faustian_Pact

When you are right,.you are right. "The Collector!"

Brenda Bakke too.


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## kevin242

Anyone ever see "Frankenhooker"? A mad scientist creates "supercrack" and invites a bunch of prostitutes over to smoke it. When they do, they start exploding in bloody chunks! He then sews their parts back together to create... you guessed it: Frankenhooker! This movie was really bad, but funny in a sad, urban blight kind of way.


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## Death's Door

Let me guess - he became their pimp!!!!! Or is that going to be happening in Frankenhooker 2 Panties in a Bunch.


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## Otaku

Frankenhooker... And I thought I was the only one who'd seen that bomb.


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## claymud

I acculy think I read about Frankenhooker in Uncal Johns Bathroom reader... thank you Uncal John!

Anyway, I know I talk about these movies too much but JAWS 3 should be mentioned for sure...I'm not saying it didn't scare me because of yadda yadda. But the shark didn't move, It was somthing like this...

'Sir theres another shark here.'
'Balderdash!'
'Look sir there it is!' (Points out window)
'My God! its getting closer! and the tale! Its not moving!' 
'I know its like we're in a bad movie!'


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## eidolon

Halloween 3, I think its the worst movie I've ever seen...


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## Faustian_Pact

= Uwe Boll. Simon West. Kevin William$on. Wes Craven Presents...


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## halloweenfreak

i liked house of the dead. and no, there were no drugs involved... didn't say it was a good movie, i just said i liked it. that being said, anyone try to watch scarecrow on sci fi the other day? couldn't force myself to do it, it was bad.


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## Sinister

eidolon said:


> Halloween 3, I think its the worst movie I've ever seen...


Then you've never seen a movie (I hesitate using that word with the two I'm about to mention) made by Uwe Boll or David DeCoteau. Oh, and if don't want to watch something that instantly gives you a splitting migraine, then stay well away from a piece of **** called "Dead Creatures." You know how you can zip through with a remote to find at least a decent scene in most films? Ain't happenin' with this one. I tried it and no matter where I stopped THE SAME THING WAS HAPPENING IN EVERY SCENE---NOTHING!!!

Don't waste your time or life on any of the above.


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## Faustian_Pact

The Fog remake! I'm sure that has been bashed on here..but not by me!

That movie sucks so bad,there wasn't enough fog to blanket the...

Okay,..I didn't even bother to see it. Won't rent it. 

Unless there is a CGI Houseman?


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## NecroBones

Faustian_Pact said:


> The Fog remake! I'm sure that has been bashed on here..but not by me!
> 
> That movie sucks so bad,there wasn't enough fog to blanket the...
> 
> Okay,..I didn't even bother to see it. Won't rent it.
> 
> Unless there is a CGI Houseman?


I watched both versions of THE FOG, in relatively close proximity to each other. The first one had much more believable characters and was more spooky. The second one was much more "hollywood", if you know what I mean. I mean, the updated visual effects were great, but it fell into the trap of having flat and uninteresting (but visually attractive) characters, occasionally over-the-top effects or dialogue, and just loses that certain quality that makes a movie spooky. Not necessarily an improvement, unless all you care about is how ghost-like the ghosts appear to be.


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## claymud

I know this is the worse horror movie thread but I'm just gonna go ahead and say it... Raise the Titanic is _*The Worst*_ Movie I have ever seen. When I first watched it I thought it was amazing. But then I read the book and by god I wanted to cry.

There was so much that the movie missed... then after awhile I rented it again. It was just a 2 hour boar fest... no lie...


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## claymud

Yet another addition... the Mothman Prophecies. I don't know if you'd call it horror or not, but by god the movie was just drug on. The only really good part was the bridge scene.


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## Sickie Ickie

Okay, I know I'll be razzed for this- especially being a B-movie fan...yes...I liked Frankenhooker LOL.....

but the worst movies I have seen lately were:

White Noise- this just was a chore to keep my concentration on...

and

THE RING! Yes, I know I've never met anyone else who didn't like this movie (with the exception of my wife), but it was so incredibly boring to me my mind refused to stay focused on it at all and demanding to know why I was wasting any more time watching it when I could be building projects!


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## Sickie Ickie

Now if they'll just come out with a horror movie Jack Frost 3, I'll be happy. ;-P


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## BuriedAlive

There was a Jack Frost 2?


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## TipoDeemin

I didn't like The Ring all that much, myself. I wasn't bored by it, though. Rather, I kept finding plot holes that bothered me too much to allow me to enjoy the movie. And Samara? Disappointing.


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## Frighteners Entertainment

But how did you like the make up?

Did you have something that nice in your haunt??


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## TipoDeemin

I liked the makeup on the first girl who dies at the hands of the video quite a lot, but the other makeup jobs didn't seem all that terribly cool. And hey, be nice about my haunt!


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## Sickie Ickie

Heyya Buriedalive. 

Sure do have 2! Here's a pic:










"He's icin' and Dicin'!"

Long-Live B-movie lovers!


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## slimy

As many of you are, I too am a lover of B movies. 

They fall in different categories of why we love them. Plan 9 is great because it's soooo bad. It is so bad it's good. In one of the graveyard scenes: It's night (change camera angles) it's day (change camera angles again) it's night (angle change) it's midafternoon. Frankenhooker falls in this same category. I know they couldn't take themselves seriously with this pic and it is a fun romp. 

Am I the only person on this list that liked Blair Witch? It was so different from every other movie out there. I will agree that Blair Witch 2 was a waste of an hour and a half of my life, but I really enjoyed the first one.


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## Sinister

Spaulding likes *The Blair Witch Project.* And...I think...no...that's about it.


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## Rocky

*cough* I also love the Blair Witch *cough*  

I'm not sure I mentioned it before but the dumbest horror movie I've ever seen is Zoltan: Hound of Dracula.


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## heresjohnny

I liked Blair Witch! I bought the DVD.


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## Mr Unpleasant

I'm going with one I recently rented:

Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys

Will Corey Feldman ever learn to act, I wanted to blow up the Blockerbuster for allowing me to rent this without a crap warning.


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## Sinister

Mr Unpleasant said:


> Will Corey Feldman ever learn to act, I wanted to blow up the Blockerbuster for allowing me to rent this without a crap warning.


Heh heh! 

I concur with this statement. I think I only really liked him in one film and that was as Edgar Frog in *The Lost Boys. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter *portrayal as Tommy Jarvis was passable. :voorhees:


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## Lazario

The same usual offenders : Blair Witch Project (beyond absurd) and Freddy Vs. Jason


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## Johnny Thunder

I really really hated Hostel.


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## Pumpkin_Queen

I didn't see the following movies listed:

1. The Stuff-this is a ninety minute film about demonic yogurt. 
2. Three on a Meathook-As romantic as this sounds, its a biopic based loosely off of Ed Gein's life. However, there's very little involved with the hooking. As a matter of fact...the hooking doesn't even take place on screen! A bunch of exposition and even a band performance!
3. Cemetary High-Again, I got confused with the title! This isn't a scary movie at all but a movie about a bunch of femme nazis taking out an entire score of men!


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## writer93

I thought Motor Home Massacre was a pretty dumb horror movie. Started off ok, but as the move continued, it just got worse and worse in my opinion.


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