# If you could go back....



## Johnny Thunder (Feb 24, 2006)

I don't know if this has ever been done on here, but....

If you could go back to your 17th, 18th (or a more recent) birthday and change a decision or make a different path for yourself in life, what would you do and why? Do you think your life would be any different and if so, how?


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## Sinister (Apr 18, 2004)

Jeez...exactly where to start? Give me a day or so to think about it and I will get back to this thread. This is a difficult question that bears some mulling over.


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## HibLaGrande (Sep 25, 2005)

I would dump my high school sweet heart ,that stupid bitch:finger: , and continue on to the air force as planned.

Then I could rain fire from above, fire bomb kill, kill, kill. that would ROCK!!!
did I metion I lack moral fortitude?


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## TearyThunder (Jul 1, 2006)

I don't think I would change a thing. I can't see risking the chance I wouldn't be the same person I am today. I can say my life hasn't been the greatest but what has been downfalls has made me a much stronger person. I am very happy now and wouldn't want to change that for anything.


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## slightlymad (May 25, 2006)

Change Nothing the trip is what made me what i am.


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## Spooklights (Jul 4, 2006)

I think you're right, Teary. It's true that we learn from our experiences, and become stronger people because of them.


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## HibLaGrande (Sep 25, 2005)

To be honest I'm happy the way my life has turned out too. I threw away my angst quit the partying and became a pretty mellow fellow (damn pretty ). I have a wonderful wife, plenty of money,a happy old dog, a warm house and no kids that I know of, what more could I ask for? It has all turned out well. 

I would have kept my Nvidia Stock for another year, instead of doubling my money it would have tripled. Oh well


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## Fangs (Jun 6, 2006)

ok ok... i would change one thing.... i never would have tired waxing the totally perfect blonde hairs on my face for a friggin jerk that i thought i was going to spend the rest of my life with.... and i would not have worried one bit when it didn't work out with us after 4 years..... ok, that sounded bitter didn't it? LOL :googly:


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## Sinister (Apr 18, 2004)

The condition for me going back would have to be that I have knowledge of what went on before so I could make the proper "tweakings." That being said, I would go to the point where my first ex-wife was about to concieve Michael, get a lawyer, establish some rights, and dump that pig the second I knew I had everything iron clad. Afterward, I would just actively seek out the things that do make me the man I am today.


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## Bone Dancer (Oct 7, 2005)

I tend to agree with you all, over all my life turned out ok. I have been lucky enough to have meet some nice people along the way and if i changed anything i may not have got the chance to see them. The good as well as the bad makes you who you are.


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

I would give my mom a hug.


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## Johnny Thunder (Feb 24, 2006)

Yeah, Sin, that is part of the deal a la Quantum Leap.....

I would go back and make a real effort not to have that fight and then lose touch with my best friend growing up.


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## Nefarious1 (Apr 12, 2004)

I've been thinking about this since I read it last night and it's really made me think... I mean deep think. I came up with all kinds of scenarios about changing this and that but all of it has made me who I am today. My mom taught me a long time ago to have no regrets. She said that regrets were a waste of time and they teach you nothing. She said to use all my mistakes as learning experiences and move on. Personally, I think that was GREAT advice.

That being said...

IF I could go back, I would have made my mom remind me on a daily basis how important an education is and that there are such things as scholarships for good grades and that you will get no where in this life without a college education. So, if I could, I would go back and either get good grades to get into a college or I would've gone to community college or something right after high school.


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## dynoflyer (Oct 8, 2006)

I would never have left the band.


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## slimy (Jul 12, 2006)

I ,too, fall under the category of those who wouldn't want to change a thing. My mistakes, and there are a lot of them, have made me the person I am today.



I mean, if I had never danced with that all male nude review, I wouldn't have met my beautiful wife.

If I had never told Ken Lay to dump his Enron stock, I would have a lot less money now.


If I had never killed those orphans and went to prison, I never would have met my best friend, Gonzo.


We can't live our lives with regrets, do what I did and make the most out of yours. 

Big mistakes=good life.


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## Hellrazor (Jun 18, 2006)

Too Funny Slimy.... or is it...

Anyway. I am a strong believer that life happens for a reason. I was married at 23 - divorced at 24 but man I was such a BITCH before that.... so hey Im a lot nicer now...

If I was not married before, I would not have met my spouse I have now... I think there is a lot to be said for that. 

I have been blessed to date with a good life. I would not change a thing.. the good or the bad.... 

As Anthoney Robbins said.... when you fall down, its okay, as long as you pick something up while you are down there.... 

So thats my motto and its worked well so far...


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## Ms. Wicked (Nov 14, 2006)

I also believe that what we've done, good and bad, makes us who we are. It has me.

Just so long as you learn from your mistakes and become stronger, better (and don't repeat them), that's how we grow.


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## dynoflyer (Oct 8, 2006)

Yeah, I'm sorry I ever quit the band, but hey, *AT LEAST I WAS IN A BAND*


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## Johnny Thunder (Feb 24, 2006)

Yup - and, at the risk of flaming or irritating everyone - that's kind of the responses I was hoping for in this thread. I've said privately that - don't scream, townsfolk - that I think too many people were giving the 'easy' answer or the answer they thought they were "supposed" to give - that is "don't look back" or "don't live life with regrets". A few responses seemed "real" and "honest" and I thank you for that.

For the record, I agree. And that's how I live, and how I recommend we all should. That being said...........

I find it so hard to believe that no one can honestly and intellecutally state that there is not ONE thing you would change. 

Wouldn't have cheated on that girlfriend? Or cheated on that exam? Or maybe you would have asked that girl out? Maybe not had so much to drink that one particular night? Or not fought with that neighbor? Or cut down that cherry tree out back? Or ran those 5 extra yards for the touchdown? Not put that prop up last year???

That was my intent with this thread - just something, ANYTHING, that you would do differently.

C'mon - be honest. Y'all know there's something. But do you have the courage to share?


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## Ms. Wicked (Nov 14, 2006)

OK, then, I've put more thought into it, although I still stand by my thoughts for my major life decisions...

Having said that - It would have been nice if I held onto my '87 Monte Carlo SS when I moved to the Virgin Islands. But after a year, the car payments were silly for a car I wasn't using. It would have been nice to have a car like that now. Not quite vintage, but might be something/creeping up in value. Can any car guys give their thoughts?

On the flip side, selling it freed up my finances to stay in the islands for three years. My ex boyfriend and I then sailed his yacht to Spain and spent several months in Europe. I grew up during those years and have some wonderful memories from the adventure.

If I'd held onto that car, I might not have been able to do that. Still I loved that car. You just never know exactly how life will unfold. 

Or, how about this: That evening I had the horse riding accident, I wish I would have stopped while I was ahead. My baby son was only six months old and I was dead tired. Still, I went for one more jump, despite being switched off. I fell off and dislocated my right shoulder. Hubs was traveling at the time and as we lived in England, I had no help with the baby. It sucked looking after an infant on my own with that kind of injury. It was months before the pain subsided and years before I could move without thinking about it. And my whole right side is goofed up now; the injury affected more than just the dislocated shoulder - I feel problems in my hip joint and my elbow locks up at times. It'll give me problems when I age, I know it... If only I had stopped.

I just thought you were talking about major life events. For those, I truly can and have lived my choices.


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## slimy (Jul 12, 2006)

Sorry, jt, can't think of anything.

Okay how about this, shoulda not switched from tequila to gin tonight. One or the other, not both.


Is that a regret?


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## Hellrazor (Jun 18, 2006)

Sorry JT. I still stand by my response. I had thought about it and did not give the "right" answer because that is how I felt. 

Ive done stupid things big and small but I have to stand by ... that is who I am. I can learn from the experience and move forward....

So ... nope, nothing I can think of, would I change!


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## krypt (Oct 25, 2005)

never started smoking cigarettes


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## Nefarious1 (Apr 12, 2004)

The problem, I think with most of us, is that what you are asking for is very personal to us. And some of us may still have issues with what we did or didn't do and know that if we could go back and change it we would... You're asking us to become vulnerable and open ourselves up to criticism from people that don't even know us! I don't think that seems quite fair. Plus, there are things that we could put up here and then people think.. "Oh they are just looking for sympathy". I don't think a halloween message board is the place for that kind of soul baring. But if you want some real honesty, here goes...

If I was smart, I would've listened to allt he kids my whole life who called me a fat ass and I would've stopped eating to comfort the pain and maybe people wouldn't look at me differently or make nasty comments about me. I also wouldn't have to sit around and listen to certain family members say "She'd be so pretty if she just los weight" Maybe someone would've invited me to a dance or a prom. Maybe I would've gotten a "boyfriend" before I was 18. Maybe men would've thought more of me than I thought of myslef and not used for the hole between my legs. I could've possibly avoided a ton of heartbreak and let down if I would've just been "normal". But not Tammy... She's fat and untouchable.

I would've fought harder to have a relationship with my Dad. He's the one that walked out for over 10 years and then when he did come back he died in a tragic car accident a year later. Maybe if I would've fought for him to love me enough to be there he wouldn't have died and he would still be in my life.

I would've never trusted my ex boyfriend and his "friend" Kelly who ****ed on MY living room floor on Valentine's Day after he stood me up for the evening.

I would've never slept with my best friend's boyfriend and ruined the only good friendship I ever had in my life.

There's plenty more, but I'll stop because I'm not that person anymore. And I can't think about changing the past because I am Tammy in the present and I am not that weak dumbass anymore.


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## Sera (Aug 2, 2004)

I do not think you can assume people have things they would want to change. Even now, I am successful in my career, have a wonderful person to come home to and a really cute bird. I do not worry about money. Did I make mistakes in my life? Yes I did. But I did what people are supposed to do when they make mistakes, I learned from them. I had a situation where I lost everything I had. Everything. And I would still not change what happened then because it made me the person I am today and I do not think I could be this person without that past heartbreak. 
But I have never cheated on anyone, I have never gotten too drunk and done something stupid. I am a person that moved to WA state just to see how it was. I follow my heart in everything I do and because of that I am mostly happy. Mostly you ask? Well fine, I would not fall down the stairs last Friday so my foot would be its normal size and I could wear shoes and work. I would change that. 
My credit is only fair-good, I made some mistakes back in 2000 and 2002 with money, but if I had not made those mistakes when I was young like that I would not be so good with my money now. That is the type of thing you want to happen when you are younger and it does not affect your life so much. That is why a lot of people don't have things they want to change, when you are young that is your time to make mistakes, it is what makes you the person you are. 
I thought about what Tammy said about her weight. Maybe I would go back and change my diet, but I don't know. I have a best friend that has always been skinny and pretty and she is pretty ****ed up. She has guys that want her to "bone" her. I have a man that truly loves me for who I am.
The only thing I can even remotely think of to change is to try to make myself more organized and less messy, but I would probably have to go back to birth to fix that one.


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## trishaanne (Aug 20, 2005)

OK, I've thought about this ALOT. I have one major regret, something that I would have changed. When hubby asked me to marry him back in 1977 I turned him down because I wasn't strong enough to stand up for what I wanted and went along with what my parents said. However, 20 years later, we did get backtogether and being married to him has been the best times of my llife...EVER. I think I appreciate him more because of all the crap I went through with the other one. On a minor note, I probably would have been more careful with my finances.Oh yeah, I NEVER would have let myself get this out of shape, but I'm working on it now and it's making me a stronger person.


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## morgan8586 (Aug 30, 2006)

I have thought about this quite abit myself. The one major thing that I would change would be the way I bailed out of some of my investments early. The yahoo stock I bought on opening day at $18 and the Iomega stock I bought at $2.75 ( before the stock split 3 times and peaked at $40.)


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## Sickie Ickie (Jun 20, 2006)

Tammy I feel what you are saying about, "Maybe men would've thought more of me than I thought of myslef and not used for the hole between my legs.. ." Unfortunately for me it was the other way around. 

Here's about as volunerable as I get...Sounds like a simple silly thing to say, but I would have had sexual relations earlier earlier. Now I can just picture some one reading this and saying, "That's just a guy's other head talking!" Well, read on and maybe it may enlighten someone somewhere.

So much of my life was lived avoiding "petting" and sex because it was supposed to be a "magical" thing saved for marriage drilled into me by my mom and church. Unfortunately there are many problems that happened to me because of this- 1) It leads to a type of fear with sexual relations, 2) It interferes with ALL dates because instead of just having fun and rolling with the momant you are always looking for the perfect spouse, 3) I built up this unreal expectation blowing it entirely out of proportion because of sex in tv, and movies and billboards that say it's the "ultimate" and 4) It made me feel as if I was morally *above* the rest of the popuation. Conceited in a moral way perhaps. 

As it was, the first petting experience I had I was 27 and she was 43. A bad relationship in general. I was 30 before I made the decision to "go all the way" on New Year's Eve 2000 with my then girlfriend. While some people may not be able to pinpoint a "special" first time like that, instead of that "magical feeling" I was led to believe my whole life and the "ultimate experience" as advertised by society, I was left with the feeling "That's it??? That's what I waited my whole life for?!?" I had avoided something my entire life because of an illusion I had been asked to believe.

Then came viagra because of the struggle between my moral conscience saying that sex before marriage was bad, and my brain saying it was no big deal! Unless on ehas experienced it themselves,it is hard to understand how horrible it is to finally make the decision to give yourself permission and yet the body won't cooperate? I was so meesed up I had to fight suicidal thoughts. I never would have gonr through with it, but it's still no fun having them come into your mind every day because of the body not working correctly.

Then I got married to my wife who is one of the best things to ever happen to me. I'm no longer using that little blue pill and my wife and I do just fine, thank you.  We even have a 2 year old son whom I'm crazy about to prove it! heh

In essence, avoiding sexual relations until I was 27-30 led to unhealthy relationships and mental/physical challenges I would not have otherwise had. So for me, I wish I knew back then that the healthiest thing for me to do was just to develop naturally in relationships the way my body was supposed to.


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## Ghostess (Aug 21, 2005)

And now to bring up a forgotten, but interesting thread again.......

I've made a lot of stupid choices over my lifetime and have done a LOT of stupid things. I'd've handled my beer drinking better when Andy and I first got together. If I had done some things different back then, he wouldn't give me the _LOOK_ every time I mention beer or I wanna hang with my best friend (which almost always involves beer). That's the ONLY problem that he and I have between us, and I don't even drink much anymore, but when I do, it always has potential to cause tension.

Everything else has led me to be the person I am today. Oh crap, on second thought, maybe I should change other things too.......


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