# A Joke for Women!



## Nefarious1 (Apr 12, 2004)

LMFAO Ladies! This one is AWESOME!!!!


According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

Not really. Those antlers were fake. They were LEE press on antlers. You can buy those at wal-greens.


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## Nefarious1 (Apr 12, 2004)

Excuses excuses.... LOL


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## Death's Door (Mar 22, 2006)

hahahahahah - that was a good one Nefarious1!!!!!


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

Well, if they are women, they probably don't take directions very well. If they didn't have the harness, God knows where they were end up. LOL.

Plus, women are very competitive against other women. That is why they have the antlers.


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## Bodybagging (May 8, 2006)

Deathtouch I only came in here because I seen you in here, which leads me to ask, why are you in here? In the Joke for Ladies thread? hmmmmmmm? tsk tsk come on back over and hang out with us Manly Men!


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

Isn't that like saying, I followed you into the ladies room because I wanted to see what you were up too? LOL. 

Ok, I guess one thing in this forum that I have learned is, if someone takes offense, it is time to say I am sorry and go to another thread. So, I am sorry to all. But, I will probably do it again on another thread. See you there. LOL.


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## ScareShack (May 26, 2006)

yup, the raindeers will follow because sanata(me...a man) has got a hold of there rainds(ropes).


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## slightlymad (May 25, 2006)

Its to easy i just cant go there


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## grapegrl (Jan 3, 2006)

I came into this thread to look at a joke and I see I've stumbled upon a meeting of the "He-Man Woman Haters Club".










/exits thread


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## Hauntiholik (May 17, 2006)

I thought it was funny.


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

Is it more wrong for a man to jokily comment about a joke aimed at men, or women who thought the joke was funny and commented about it while praising the woman for it, or the people who take offense to the men who jokily commented about the joke aimed at them? If you are adult enough to start a joke about men, then you should be able to be adult enough when they join in with harmless conversation. It is all good here people, let’s not blow this out of proportion. It is just a joke, not a ladies only club. If I started a joke about women, I would expect to be razed. And it wouldn’t bother me in the least if they did because I know we are all kindred spirits here.

And yes, I thought the joke was funny.


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## skullboy (Sep 21, 2006)

Sorry guys,heres a follow up
10/16 3:39p 
Once upon a time there was a female brain cell who accidentally ended
up in
a man's head. She looked around nervously but it was all empty
and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no
answer. 

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and yelled
at the
top of her voice,

"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE?"

Then she heard a very faint voice from far, far away...

"We're down here!" 


   Gotta help the ladies out now and then.


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## Nefarious1 (Apr 12, 2004)

You know, I posted this because I thought it was hilarious and I thought the girls would love it too. And as many of these posts as I read, I can't see any one of us gettin all upset over whatever razing was incurred. DeathTouch, who is taking such offense to what you said?? If you are talking about the He-Man Woman Hater's Club comment, I think that was hilarious! And I also think that, from a woman's point of view, that Grapegrl wasn't offended in the least. I think she was just dishin it out right back on ya.  

P.S. LMFAO Skull! That ownz!!11


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

Well, that is good then. Do you have any more jokes then Nefarious1?


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## Nefarious1 (Apr 12, 2004)

This one is heeeeeeeeelarious!!!


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

Ok, that one was good. And I have tried that too, and it doesn't either. LOL.


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## Nefarious1 (Apr 12, 2004)

Yeah, my husband tries all those tricks, too. And you're right, it does NOT work. LMAO


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## Death's Door (Mar 22, 2006)

I'm loving these jokes today!!!! I think they're great!


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## Nefarious1 (Apr 12, 2004)

This one is an oldie but goodie!

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD 
Well, it's **** ... that's right, ****! 

**** may just be the most functional word in the English language. 


Consider: 

You can get ****-faced, Be ****-out-of-luck, Or have **** for brains. 

With a little effort, you can get your **** together, find a place for your ****, or be asked to **** or get off the pot. 


You can smoke ****, buy ****, sell ****, lose ****, find ****, forget ****, and tell others to eat ****. 

Some people know their ****, while others can't tell the difference between **** and shineola. 

There are lucky ****s, dumb ****s, and crazy ****s. There is bull ****, horse ****, and chicken ****. 

You can throw ****, sling ****, catch ****, shoot the ****, or duck when the **** hits the fan. 

You can give a **** or serve **** on a shingle. 

You can find yourself in deep **** or be happier than a pig in ****. 

Some days are colder than ****, some days are hotter than ****, and some days are just plain ****ty. 

Some music sounds like ****, things can look like ****, and there are times when you feel like ****. 

You can have too much ****, not enough ****, the right ****, the wrong **** or a lot of weird ****. 

You can carry ****, have a mountain of ****, or find yourself up ****s creek without a paddle. 

Sometimes everything you touch turns to **** and other times you fall in a bucket of **** and come out smelling like a rose. 

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language. 

And remember, once you know your ****, you don't need to know anything else!! 

You could pass this along, if you give a ****; or not do so if you don't give a ****! 

Well, ****, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a **** and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of ****. But, if you happened to catch a load of **** from some ****-head........... 

Well, **** Happens!!!


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## grapegrl (Jan 3, 2006)

Nefarious1 said:


> ...If you are talking about the He-Man Woman Hater's Club comment, I think that was hilarious! And I also think that, from a woman's point of view, that Grapegrl wasn't offended in the least. I think she was just dishin it out right back on ya.


Nefarious, you are the voice of reason. Just to show I'm the sporting type, here's a little joke:

A man asked God, "Why did you make Woman so beautiful?"
God thought for a moment and replied, "Well...so that you would love her."
Still a bit perplexed the man asked, "But why did you make her _*so*_ dumb?"
God chuckled and told the man, "So she would love YOU."


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## Nefarious1 (Apr 12, 2004)

LMFAO

Preach on, sister!!!


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## slightlymad (May 25, 2006)

AAAAH i needed that 
Worked with my ex wife maybe thats why she s an ex


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