# GirlFriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0



## ScareShack (May 26, 2006)

I read this joke yesterday and got a laugh out of it, so figured I would share it as im sure a few of u may get a chuckle out of it.

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*Dear Tech Support,*

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began to show unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6 are all now monitored.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

____

*REPLY:*

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE! Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

Tech Support


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## ghost37 (Jul 30, 2008)

That is too funny!!!


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

An oldie, but goodie. I wonder if there's a similar one on Boyfriend 7.0 to Husband 1.0?


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## Dixie (Feb 18, 2009)

RoxyBlue said:


> An oldie, but goodie. I wonder if there's a similar one on Boyfriend 7.0 to Husband 1.0?


Yep, I agree with oldie but goodie - I could read this one a million times, and still crack a smile.

Haha, all the HF girls should meet in chat one day and come up with the Boyfriend 7.0 to Husband 1.0... I bet we could come up with some funny stuff


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## tcarter (Aug 18, 2006)

They forgot to mention what to do when the media ports freeze up, lock tight and won't recognize your memory stick.


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## Don Givens (Dec 2, 2008)

tcarter said:


> They forgot to mention what to do when the media ports freeze up, lock tight and won't recognize your memory stick.


I believe they recommended Diamond 5.0 however I don't think they addressed the dangers to his entire system if Wife 1.0 becomes infected by a virus carrying worm.


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## Adam I (Jun 16, 2007)

Well you could try ...

Seems like the only solution to Wife 1.0 is to install Divorce 1.0. This is a radical package however it will erradicate Wife 1.0... at least partcially. And you usually get most of your resources back (or at least.

Divorce 1.0's installation process will remove Wife 1.0, preparing you to install any of Girl Friend 2.0, Mistress 1.2 (new version!) or Wife 2.0 (if you want). Unfortunately if Wife 1.0 (or any of the other products mentioned) have spawned child processes then things get more complex. Usually the child processes take up less processing power and they surface from time to time, but you're often glad to see them. Unfortunately the child processes tend to remind you of the package from whence they came and sometimes you have to interact with Wife 1.0 or GirlFriend 1.0, but usually these things can be dismissed fairly easily.

As Divorce 1.0 needs to uninstall Wife 1.0 it carries all the caveats that uninstalling Wife 1.0 has. Usually you are left with about 1/2 of the resources you started with before installing Wife 1.0.

If you have already upgraded to Wife 2.0 then you'll need to get Divorce 2.0.

It really a hassle, I've upgraded to Wife 2.0 No more upgrades for me!


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## HalloweenZombie (Jul 22, 2007)

Didn't McAfee make an app called KillWife 1.0? Or was that Glock? Anyway, it doesn't get rid of the program entirely, so you'll have to bury what's left deep in another directory.


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## Don Givens (Dec 2, 2008)

Divorce 1.0 is very expensive but well worth it as you will be able to upgrade to any new girlfriend application as often as you wish.

Once you have unistalled Wife 1.0 just take advantage of the free trial period offered by the many different Girlfriend programs available. Just be sure to upgrade often as the Girlfriend programs become outdated quickly, then threaten to shut down completely if you don't convert to Wife 2.0. 

Important user warning: Be very, very careful if you try to run two different versions of Girl Friend at the same time as the overload is liable to cause the program to erase your hard drive and slash your tires.


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## DeathTouch (Sep 6, 2005)

Maybe it is time for you to make another movie on this. Not sure if your wife will do with it but you could ask.


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## HalloweenZombie (Jul 22, 2007)

Don Givens said:


> Divorce 1.0 is very expensive but well worth it as you will be able to upgrade to any new girlfriend application as often as you wish.
> 
> Once you have unistalled Wife 1.0 just take advantage of the free trial period offered by the many different Girlfriend programs available. Just be sure to upgrade often as the Girlfriend programs become outdated quickly, then threaten to shut down completely if you don't convert to Wife 2.0.
> 
> Important user warning: Be very, very careful if you try to run two different versions of Girl Friend at the same time as the overload is liable to cause the program to erase your hard drive and slash your tires.


Sure, you can enjoy many different Girlfriend programs, but you're bound to catch a virus.


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## Don Givens (Dec 2, 2008)

HalloweenZombie said:


> Sure, you can enjoy many different Girlfriend programs, but you're bound to catch a virus.


:laugheton:

Good point and you also have to be very careful not to inadvertently trigger the "Clone" function" or Girlfriend will create a smaller version of itself and lock you into an expensive longterm maintenance contract.


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