# Unlikely Scenes



## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Let's try something new. In this game, you come up with a short description of an unlikely combination of elements - the more demented, the better The next person takes one item from your description and creates a new one.

Example: "An ogre in a yellow raincoat riding a tricycle in a grocery store".

The next person decides to use the tricycle and comes up with "a German shepherd in a top hat carrying a tricycle on the subway".


Got it? Okay, here's my scene:

A koala bear in high heels eating pastry at the butcher shop.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The Kola Bear sings a duet with the butcher


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The butcher closed his shop to go chop down trees to make huts for displaced Gnomes


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Gnomes wearing aprons play tubas in the bathroom


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Dancing Santas with tubas pranced across the railing on the bridge over the Thames River


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

King Kong in a tutu builds a bridge over troubled waters


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

King Kong does a song and dance wih Hairazor in Hawsaii


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A hedgehog sips tea in a volcano in Hawaii


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A Gypsy juggling troup does a juggling tightrope act across a steaming volcano while singing Yankey Doodle


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Twenty lemurs ride unicycles on a tightrope across the Grand Canyon


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## Pumpkin5 (Aug 8, 2010)

:jol:A unicorn jumps for joy as a small rainbow encircles his horn while a lemur claps enthusiastically from his perch, sitting on top of a pinkish, lenticular cloud.


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A dark cloud hangs over a herd of desert tortoises playing poker in a gymnasium


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A tortoise sips honeysuckle nectar through a silly straw that eerily glows green in the dark


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The straw's glow attracts gallivanting gophers from Georgia


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Georgia's gophers gallivant along the edge of the Grand Canyon as they watch showboating Lemurs swan dive off the rim while humming So Long, Farewell in unison


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## Pumpkin5 (Aug 8, 2010)

:jol:In the darkest depths of a dismal swamp, in unison, a collective wail of anguish from a congress of ghosts if heard, can stop a person's heart and cause nightmares forever more; until of course, the clown squad paddles in with their annoying horns and goofy antics....

(I realized my first part was not very unlikely....)


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A fish on stilts stumbles through a bowling alley in a small boy's nightmare


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Fanatic fans gather at the local bowling alley to see the grudge match bowl off of Baboons vs. Spider Monkeys with the winning team getting the right to strut the Red Carpet as guests of honor at the next Miss America competition


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Miss America places her crown on the top of the Empire State Building while hanging from a bungee cord attached to a stealth helicopter


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The stealth helicopter is being flown by boy George who never took a flying lesson in his life and clips he Empire State building


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A purple wombat named George plays third base using a bushel basket as a baseball mitt.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A die hard baseball fan had baseball mitts surgically attached to his hands so he would have a chance to be picked for a new ball team being formed by disgruntled former players let go for being Zombies


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Seven zombies in Air Force jump suits eat ice cream while walking cheetahs at the park


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Cheetahs with umbrellas jumping on trampolines trying to see over the fence to watch the turtles flying kites on the ballfield


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

The turtles put on roller skates and go shopping for pink parasols and artichokes.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Two Zombies got in a fight over a pink parasol while waiting for a Limo after a funeral for a big shot VooDoo Chieftain


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Hairazor did a banjo solo at the funeral in honor of the Voodoo Chieftain. She was accompanied by Roxy on the kazoo!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Roxy dropped her Kazoo down an abandoned well, she grabbed an umbrella and a blow dryer, she opened the umbrella and drifted down, grabbed her kazoo and blew the air from the blow dryer into the underside of the umbrella to go back up


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

An all girl iguana band plays the Star Spangled banner on kazoos while riding on a tropical float in a May Day parade in Salt Lake City


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The May Day parade had Dingos juggling white mice while riding unicycles pulling meerkats on skateboards


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## Pumpkin5 (Aug 8, 2010)

:jol:Mandy the Meerkat dodges balls, hurtled at her by mutant turtles wearing cage free chickens around their neck while music from a thousand grasshoppers plays, liltingly in the background.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Mutant turtles in Top hats and tails dance the Merengue to music provided by bull frogs with bull horns balancing on stilts


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## Lambchop (Jan 28, 2011)

Bull frogs with bull horns balancing on stilts, sing "Happy Birthday" to Danny Davito.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Danny Devito, wearing a rainbow tutu and combat boots, played Hopscotch on the stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame while adoring fans tried to throw hoops around his outstretched arms


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Three blind mice wearing combat boots piloted a jet plane over the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel while an otter threw dead carp out a broken window at passing motorists.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Zombie clowns bungee jumped out of jet planes over a busy freeway with the purpose of snatching road kill to take back to the Carnevil to make roadkill stew for visiting politicians who wanted to solicit their votes


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Reanimated roadkill stole grocery carts from the local Wal-mart and filled them with banana plants at the garden shop.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Marauding pygmy goats in yellow leg warmers ate all the banana plants in Wal-mart then head butted Wal-mart shoppers who tried to leave without giving them red jujubes


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

An angry hedgehog yelled "Down in front!" and threw red jujubes at the giraffes wearing top hats in the front row at the movie theater.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The giraffes immediately started a war with the hedgehogs with Roxy supplying red jujubes to both sides! Meanwhile Hairazor was asking everyone for "Bananas for Belgium"


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A hermit crab built a banana boat and sailed up the Mississippi River to see the Queen of Hearts in Columbus, Ohio.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The Queen of Hearts licked jelly off the belly of a jellyfish as she floated down the Nile on her Pontoon powered by a spinning octopus and steered by Jack Sparrow


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Unfortunately Jack Sparrow fell overboard and was rescued by Buster Keaton and
Ronny Howard who had stolen thed Nautilus from Captain Nemo.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

When the Nautilus hit an iceberg off the coast of Hawaii and started to sink, a school of Seahorses dressed in their best Marine uniforms used a squad of squid to hook chains to it and tow it to Davey Jones Locker to be used for R & R


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Killer whales broke into Davy Jones locker and stole six gallons of rum, which they took to the Seattle Fish Market and sold them to a horde of capuchin monkeys who were appearing in a production of "The Pirates of Penzance".


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The monkey's suddenly went beserk and stole all of Hairazor's bananas she had
collected for Belgium and left her a truckload of peels.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Hairazor, in a wet suit, jumped out of a helicopter into a truckload of banana peels on a dare from the new TV show, "Oh No You Wouldn't!!", and won the grand prize of a 3 day fun filled all expenses paid trip to a Nuclear Waste Dump site of her choice


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Mutant cockroaches spawned in a nuclear waste dump signed up for knitting lessons taught by a cross-eyed emu at the local YMCA.


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## PrettyGhoul (Oct 7, 2005)

Drunken Capuchin monkeys (fresh from their "Major General successful" run of the Pirates of Penzance) joined Mr. Cross-eyed Emu's class and knitted a stunning biohazard suit decorated with green and orange mutant cockroaches at the neckline and ankles. The suit was presented as a gift to the enormously popular contestant from the "Oh No you Wouldn't" show, Ms. Hairazor. Ms. Hairazor glowed as she accepted the suit and promised to wear it on any future stunts she might live to perform.


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A one eyed grizzly bear stole the biohazard suit, filled it with rotting pears, and hung it in a baobab tree growing inexplicably at the North Pole, within ready reach of Santa's fermented-pear-juice-loving elves.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Santa's fermented-pear-juice-loving elves have run amuck, stealing Santa's Sleigh and hitching it to a Polar Bear and mushing to the local Disco Club where they sang Karaoke with a drunken seal (with a necklace of live mackerel) to an audience entirely made up of Mermaids in silk Kimonos


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Seven mermaids sold their silk kimonos to the bride of Frankenstein and then boarded a bus to Poughkeepsie, where they hoped to make a success of themselves milking goats as part of a comedy club act.


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## Auberginer (Jun 28, 2016)

A parakeet wearing a silk kimono is buying clothes at the soup store.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A parakeet in purple leggings, at the soup store, is building nests made of glass beads on top of the soup pots and raising glow worms for night lights


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## Auberginer (Jun 28, 2016)

The pope is collecting glass beads at the train station for his Halloween costume!


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A lovesick Labrador retriever hijacked a train at Grand Central Station and drove to the local zoo to woo the object of his affection, a rare albino leopard named Chloe.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A rare albino leopard, named Chloe, jumped the Zoo fence and hopped the next streetcar where she did a Rhumba down the aisle while passing the hat, collecting for "Free the Girl Scouts From Selling Cookies"


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Around the corner came the zookeeper tap dancing to the tune of "99 bottles of beer on the wall" with zombie backup singing "Doo Whacka Doo!"


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Zombie back-up singers threw their hands into the audience one finger at a time to thunderous flipper applause from the seals who were balancing full foamy beer mugs on their noses


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Meanwhile the woozy winkles from Washington Dc held races with the fiendish floozys from Florida with Roxy and Hairazor betting a buck on each race


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The winkles and floozys joined forces and toured the country, by 2 humped camel, and gave shows where they blew smoke rings around rainbow bubbles while standing on their heads


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## Auberginer (Jun 28, 2016)

A 2 humped camel eats a whole family sized bag of garden salsa SunChips and then cries himself to sleep because he has no self control.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A 2 humped camel, with rainbow legging and a gold tiara, stood on top of the Empire State Building and para glided to Central Park in time to play Hamlet at "Shakespeare in the Park"


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Three aging badgers sit on benches in Central Park every Sunday afternoon and throw crumpled up pages of the Wall Street Journal at passing accountants wearing golden tiaras.


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## PrettyGhoul (Oct 7, 2005)

Concluding an enjoyable evening romp in Central Park; a young hipster Airdale Terrier snatched up crumpled pages of the Wall St Journal to peruse on her subway ride home to Alphabet City.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The lighting flashed, the rain poured down and the ground split open in Alphabet City causing the Cs and Is to crumble into tiny cs and is who first tried to shelter under the Ms until the water began to rise causing them to use the Os as life savers while they waited for a Water Bug rescue unit


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Meanwhile, the lazy loofers and thej woozy woofers had joined together to open a resteraunt that served huckleberry hamburgers and frito French fries to criminally insane astronauts!


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A woozy woofer took a moment to remind Goblin that the rules of the game are to use one item from the previous post when creating a new scene before snagging a space suit from an insane astronaut to turn into a cosmic Slip 'n' Slide.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

An insane astronaut, with his underpants over his spacesuit, went to Target by mistake thinking it was Wal-Mart, looking for a photo booth so he could get a photo to send to his Alien Girlfriend who was stranded on a deserted asteroid with a Blow Fish


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The blowfish learned hows to speak fluent Crapenese from the Insane Astronauts who
were te feastured performers at the Martian Square dance and clambake!


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

The Martian square dance was rudely interrupted when a cloud of methane gas from Uranus suddenly materialized and exploded after being lit by a porcupine wielding a blowtorch.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A porcupine wearing a cactus hat and pair of 6 shooters challenged a star fish wearing spurs to a water balloon fight for the hand of a hedgehog with gold teeth


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## PrettyGhoul (Oct 7, 2005)

At the Church Of The Unrepentant's annual potluck dinner, a one-handed, golden toothed hedgehog received culinary kudos for her contributions of pickled porcupine on a bed of endive and sweet and sour starfish stew.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

At the Church of the Unrepentants, the Pontificator, in bloomers and fingerless gloves, beseeched the crowd to take a jump to the left and then a step to the right and enter the Time Warp and bring back warped 45s of Johnny B Good


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The poinififictor decided to open a lemonade stand and sold it for 8,000 dollars a glass.
Mesnwhile, Harvey the 6 foot invisible rabbit was busy searching for Jimmy Stewart's
hidden stockpile of carrots


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A crowd of angry mutant carrots stormed the Bastille in the mistaken belief that it was a local farmer's market selling vegetables.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Harvey the 6' invisible rabbit, wearing top hat and cumberbund, decided the carrots were buried at the center of the Earth and started digging with a spork right under the middle of the Circus BigTop as the elephants marched around the ring 2 by 2 while holding miniature umbrellas


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

sudden thunderstorm came up and blew the umbrellas out of the elephant's trunks.
Then Harvey the 6' invisible rabbit got lost in the storm and was captured by a bunch
of rowdy ruffians.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Rowdy Ruffians strung dental floss across the Grand Canyon and took turns ziplining from one side to the other while knitting beanies for gnarly gnomes with chipped teeth


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Gnarly gnomes invaded Longwood Gardens with a truckload of pink flamingos and a sack of triffid seeds to plant around the Italian Water Garden.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A truckload of pink flamingos, each armed with 6 shooters, robbed the local McDonalds of all the fish patties and set them free in the Tivoli Fountain where they performed synchronized swimming routines


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The customers at said MacDonalds decided to hold a 4th of July square danced when the
National Hog Callers of America showed up, dressed in orange and black checkered 
suits with big green bowties! Meanwhile.......Hairazor was hunting for a gas-powered
potato peeler at Walmart!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Hairazor used a gas powered potato peeler, while wearing a hairnet and 30 bangle bracelets, to carve a 5th face on Mt. Rushmore in time for the Festival dedicated to rock chips


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Moe of the Three Stooges was the fifth face on Mt Rushmore and he repeatedly poked the other faces in the eyes with a large pine tree plucked from a passing logging truck driven by a gray alien from Area 51.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Gray Aliens, wearing bathrobes and fuzzy bunny slippers, used lunchroom gravy mixed with Lye to burn a hole in the wall of Area 51 to break out and commandeer a fleet of souped up go carts which they used to get them to Disney Land to ride Space Mountain in an effort to return home


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The gray aliens sponsored Hairazor as she challenged Roxy for her world hopscotch
championship inside the steel cage wih special referees Moon Dog and Tom Cruise!


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

After consuming one too many mai tais, Tom Cruise stole Moon Dog's whistle, gave large sums of money to Hairazor and Roxy for being the best damn hopscotchers he'd ever seen, then borrowed an electric skateboard from a circus emu and rode off into the sunset wearing a Hawaiian T-shirt and camouflage pants.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Bu not before he challenged Roxy for her Hopscotch championship.......but he was so drunk that he hopped when h should of scotched!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The Hopscotch Championship became an annual event presided over by a one eyed sloth who had to be prodded awake every few minutes by a clown with a big green nose and a wooden leg which was decorated with a picture of Marilyn Monroe as a Zombie wearing a turnip tiara


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The Hopscotch Championship was a big hit of laughing lumberjacks living with Lyle Lincoln in Ladybug, Louisana.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Louisiana Lumberjacks in Moon Boots liked to perform log rolling, using pool noodles, in the local kiddie pool, as they yodeled God Bless America and juggled sparklers while Minions threw pine cones at them


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

The minions put on helmets made of tinfoil before releasing large quantities of radioactive waste into Lake Erie, resulting in the rapid development of mutant carp that overran the midway at Cedar Point Amusement Park in search of candied apples and salt water taffy.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Mutant Carp, in Elvis garb and stun guns, boarded an Amtrac headed West and stunned every 3rd passenger (3 being their lucky #) then sat on their unresponsive laps till they reached Vegas where they swarmed the stage at the Mirage to put on a full blown Elvis Review for wildly cheering bus boys


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

The Amtrak train derailed in Tombstone, AZ and was immediately hijacked by drunken armadillos wearing combat gear and hula hoops festooned with pink sparkly LEDs.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The drunken armadillos used the sparkly pink LEDs to distract the passengers and used their hula hoops to round them up and herd them down a long balloon and cactus lined entyway into a corral full of dust bunnies


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## Lizzyborden (Sep 7, 2012)

Terrorist dust bunnies armed with zippo lighters blew up the Sweep Away broom factory, while a crowd of mice, cockroaches and various members of the arachnid family cheered on.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Hordes of hairy arachnids, with bracelets on their hairy legs and boas around their necks, intertwined their legs as they surrounded a field of buzzing bees, on sunflowers, while singing "You Are My Sunshine"


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

the hairy arachnids decided to shave their legs and the buzzing bees decided to fly south
for the winter, even if it is still summer. Meanwhile a large legion of lazy lizards laughed 
like looneys the whole time!


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## Lizzyborden (Sep 7, 2012)

A large legion of lazy lizards lapped lattes while laughing like loonies at the lunatic asylum's Little Lunatic Luncheon featuring Laughing Larry Lubowski on the lute.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Laughing Larry, with a propeller beanie on his head and riding a unicycle, took his lute show on a cross country tour followed closely by an entourage consisting of a pair of twin pigs in Nikes and a parrot that kept yelling "Let's all hit the showers!"


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Laughing Larry and his cousin, Crying Carl decided to teach the parrot the Gettysburg
Address and even got it a tiny little stovepipe hat to wear. Unfortunately, all of the
address they knew was "For score and a bunch of years ago our fore fathers and six
mothers brought forth a new notion......blah blah blah yakkety smackity!"


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A parrot wearing a stovepipe hat rode to Gettysburg on an heavily tattoed, pipe smoking elderly mule and claimed to be a reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln's second cousin once removed.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

At a Zombie Jamboree, Abraham Lincoln's second cousin once removed, wearing a bowler and spurs, shot a flaming arrow into a pile of packing peanuts which flew into the air like smoking fireworks


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Meanwhile Abraham Lincoln's second cousin's mother's aunt's sister's uncle's brother's
daughtr's cat caught a rubber mouse thast was suddenly brought to life by Jack the
Ripper's magic hat!


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## Lord Homicide (May 11, 2012)

A magic hat was placed on the rubber mouse in hopes that it would come alive.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A Busker found a magic hat on the street and when he put it on he began to whirl into the air shooting rainbows all around until a dog catcher with a big net hauled him down, and using a salami, knocked the hat into the gutter where it melted in the multicolored water that had pooled there


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The twin street cleaners,Goofus and Gorfus, had to clean the gutters with nulear-powered
wire brushes that they hasd bought at the Mandavian Wholesale warehouse and grill!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Goofus and Gorfus hooked the nuclear-powered wire brushes to a hot air balloon and shot so far up they circled the Moon before drop landing in a Prickly Pear Cactus in the middle of a raging river


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Meanwhile Hairazorf was buying up all the prickly pears sh could lay her hands on to
make Roxy some of her famous prickly pear preserves that tastded liked very old sandpaper soup. At the same time Spooky1 was baking Cactus cookies from a recipe he
acquired from a drunk Kiedbler elf.


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## Lord Homicide (May 11, 2012)

Hairazorf, half-sister of Dumbledore, was an aspiring witch. She rode a spaghetti noodle broom and tinkered with alchemy reagents hand crafted of playdough.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A local witch (not mentioning her name) used playdough and magic to make an army of Wildebeests, with flaming pink hair and incredibly long eyelashes, that she used to search out other magic users so she could form an unbreakable Union for the protection of Spellcasters everywhere


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Another witch from Witchita gave the Widldebeasts weak wine from Wisconsin she bought
on sale. Meanwhile Lord Homicide ate all of Hairazor's fishsticks and cheese she had been
saving for Labor Day!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

LordH, in Lederhosen and a blue Boa, and Hairazor, in a tutu and googly eye headband, decided to see who could climb to the top of the Empire State Building fastest using only peanut butter to help their handhold when King Kong reached down and took the boa and headband for himself


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

This made LordH very angry and he immediately pushed King Kong off the Empire
State Building. Meanwhile, Roxy was trying to raise grumpy Georgia gophers in
goofy grab bags got at Walmart!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A group of grumpy GA gophers, wearing miner's headlamps, burrowed under the University of MN's football field and kept popping up to tie together the shoe laces of the Mn. player's shoes and doing a victory dance, complete with twerk, on any players falling down.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

All the grumpy gophers joined forces with the backwards- flying sparrows to steal all
the chocolate juniper berries from crabby clams from California.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Ruffians in rags and Pyromaniacs in pajamas had a gang fight behind the local A & W pelting each other with chocolate juniper berries dipped in glow in the dark jello until a gang of Girl Scouts with badges broke it up by throwing Thin Mint Cookies into the fray


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

As the girl scouts were going berserk with their cookies, the undead froozies were rising
from their graves while the hairy horrigans were flying down from Canada for their ice
jamboree!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The Hairy Horrigans, in fuzzy yellow duck pjs and matching slippers, barged into the food court at the local mall and got into a food fight with the mall guards, who had dressed in Drag while holding umbrellas, for a Midnight Madness jamboree featuring them singing It's Raining Men


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The Hairy Horrigans declared war on the mall guards who were dancing with the Freaky
Fuzzidinks while eating all th chocolate covered doughnuts in Maine


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Mall guards, feeling underappreciated and unnoticed, raided the Hardware store and set up a camp site in the Mall common area and started toasting marshmallows over the fire and throwing them at shoppers that ignored them, while combing the hair on their legs when not toasting and throwing


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The Mall guards told their plans to the Friendly Tinkertots who said.......
HUH?


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The Mall Guards, in matching glow in the dark rainbow colored shirts and matching socks, joined a Midnight Moonlight Miniature Golf league where the grand prize was a Spa Day with the works including a mani-pedi and open wine and taco bar


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A mad scientist irradiated a plate of tacos, turning them into raging beasts of melted cheese, beef, lettuce, and salsa, which immediately raided the local spa and instituted a reign of terror among the seaweed-wrapped, mud-packed patrons.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The tacos wsere eaten in Wyoming by the fiendish gullywhompers from Wisconsin.Meanwhile, Roxy wsas running with scissors blindfolded while eating
hersey bars dipped in gravy and cheese. But let's not forget Hairazor winning
2nd placed in the zombie handball tournament!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The Zombie Handball tournament was held in Death Valley amid tumbleweeds and pink striped gophers, with big fangs, that kept leaping for the handball and tossing it back and forth among themselves while the spectators tried to pick them off with spitwads


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The spedctators were attacked by Gator in their pajamas. How th gators got in their pajamas nobody knows. Meanwhile, Martian Plumbers had landed in their flying saucers 
with the tops down and playing Beach music.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The Martian Plumbers, wearing toilet plungers on their rear ends, formed a band and began playing out of this world music using the horns protruding from their ears and strumming their stringy ribs while stamping their flat webbed feet to keep the beat


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A herd of glitter-coated lemurs climbed to the top of the Washington Memorial and proceeded to throw toilet plungers at a herd of their arch nemesis, cheetahs sporting pin up babe tattoos and leather fedoras.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Cheetahs, sporting pin up babe tattoos and leather fedoras with cardinal feathers in the brims, started a baby sitting service where they licked the baby's lips and stuck them to the wall to keep them from wandering off while they played tiddly winks for cheetos


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The cheetahs decided to have deep-fried Cheetos mixed with cheerios and cheese.
Meanwhile Hairazor's entry in the pie making contest was a pickle pie with graham cracker crust and chocolate sauce.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Hairazor's pickle pie with graham cracker crust and chocolate sauce became the signature pie thrown at celebrities as they slid down the slip and slide set up in front of the Academy Awards just before the lights went out on the Hollywood sign due to having the electric bill paid for with potato chips


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Hairazor's pickle pie knocked all the celebrities unconscious because she neglected to
take the pickles out of the jar first! This instigated the imfamous celebrity/Iowa war
that lasted for 6 months or 180 days.....whichever came first.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The celebrity/Iowa war got heated with celebrities in full make up and high heels throwing Oscar statuettes at the Iowans, dressed in bibs and bandannas, who in turn pelted them with corn cobs and chitlins until Scooby Doo made them forget the war by mesmerizing them with a bodacious Breakdance right in the middle of the fight arena


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Meanwhile Scooby Doo was set upon by a horde of Flapjack Floozies from Fresno that were doing the polka.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Scooby Doo put on his scuba gear and a neon green hair net and got ready to dive off the Empire State Building into a vat of neon red jello at the opening of the "Dare Me" reality series filmed by the Three Stooges who were dressed as crash test dummies after a crash


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Scooby Doo changed his name to "The Joker" after all the green hair and red jello.
Meanwhile, Hairazor had an unexpected house guests when she opened the door to
discover Vincent Pricde, Boris Karloff, and Bela Lugosi standing there, suitcases in hand!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Vincent, Boris and Bela teamed up, dressed in pink leotards and tutus and Army boots, to do a Sumo Ballet act with the Harlem Globe Trotters when they put on an exhibition at the local Dairy Queen


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

The local Dairy Queen made national news when a SWAT team of rabid lemmings in body armor and festive party hats swarmed the parking lot in search of stealth ferrets smuggling barrels of milkshake mix laced with maximum strength Ex-Lax.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

In their spare time stealth ferrets, blasting "We Are The Champions" from boom boxes, like to dress up as Storm Troopers and pretend to shoot death rays at people who had the ex-lax laced milkshakes as they rush the bathroom at the local Dairy Queen


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The stealth ferret's couison, the gullible gophers, delared war on the rabid lemmings
who had joined forces with the fierce flying foxes that were allied with the terrible
toads from Texas that were inviting the Rambo Rccoons to a barbecue.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The Rambo Raccoons, disguised as BBQ chefs wearing tall white toques, put Everclear in the BBQ sauce and video taped the ensuing antics of the drunken townsfolk and made a fortune blackmailing prominent officials


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The Rambo Racoons decided to give the Chipper Chipmunks a testimonial dinner with
special speaker Rory Raccoon. Meanwhile, Hairazor and Roxy ere battling the evil
eggnog hoarders from Hawaii


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Hairazor and Roxy, dressed in Hazmat suits in day glo pink with tassels, put on a charity show with singing, dancing and knife throwing for survivors of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon handlers run away balloon battle.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Unfortunately Roxy and Hairazor were terrible singing, dancing knife throwers and they wiped out all the survivors in one fell swoop.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Singing, dancing knife throwers, with targets over their hearts and blind folds in place, drove in a clown car to Vegas where they competed in a knife throwing showdown to the tune of Mack the Knife


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The clown car broke down in he middle of Vegas and they had to call the side car clappers
from California.


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Three clowns wearing business suits and high heels ordered chocolate coated French fries and pierogies with a side of pickled eel at the local i-Hop.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The local I-Hop hosted a fund raiser, to benefit Mimes who couldn't stop talking, where competing groups of clowns in Army boots and pigtails had a Rubber band shooting contest to see which group could knock off more of the other groups red honking noses


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The mimes who couldn'd stop talking decided to attack the Ups a daisy upholsteres from Utah. Mesnwhile, the freeloading football players from Fresno found the key to eternal life
in fried flounder.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The Freeloading football players from Fresno decided to keep in shape AND earn some extra money by forming a Burlesque line and taking it on the road using a Hippie Van decorated with Peacock feathers and Mardi Gras beads to get from location to location


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Unfortunately the hippie van was swept up in a tornado and wound up in Oz wher the
Freeloading football players fromFresno were arrested by the Munchkin Mounties from
Maine.


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

The hippie van was stolen by a horde of mutant dust bunnies armed with mace and several large pink umbrellas.


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## Johnnylee (May 6, 2018)

The hippie van was stolen by a horde of mutant dust bunnies that came from Outer space to steal all the carrots.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Dust bunnies from outer space, in propeller beanies, took up residence under the beds of Airplane pilots on leave for shooting laser beams at the Moon, in hopes of getting secrets for making their propellers turn without wind


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## Johnnylee (May 6, 2018)

Dust bunnies from outer space, in propeller beanies were swept up by Alien Mother ships that has been stored at S-4 in Nevada and taken to the underground base at Dulce New Mexico to feed the reptilian race.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The Alien Mother ship, flashing "Go, Fight, Win" in school colors, hovered over the local T-Ball game in preperation of sucking the winning team aboard along with all their Gatorade


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## Johnnylee (May 6, 2018)

The Alien Mother ship was full of famous actors and politicians ready to go back to their home planet since the wormhole opened back up.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The alien mother ship was double parked in the crab bebula where evryone is crabby all the time. Meanwhile Hairazor challenged
Roxy to a charleston contest where they had to wear lead boots!


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## Johnnylee (May 6, 2018)

The alien mother ship is underneath every Mcdonalds in the United states and they have served 1 billion mutant cow burgers.


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Cow burgers are served free after midnight in the local ferret-run all night diner to police dogs wearing bow ties and party hats festooned with glitter and peacock feathers.


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## Johnnylee (May 6, 2018)

Cow burgers are served free after midnight but in reality the over population in the prison system has came down only to realize the diners are serving human meat.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The prison system decided to lift morale by letting the inmates have a slip and slide through jello contest where the winners get to throw mashed potatoes at the Guards who will be wearing blue heels and pink garters


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The inmates deided to hold a midnight jamboree with music provide by Vincent and
the Coffin Makers. Meanwhile, the irritable wishey washers from Washington were
washing clothes and wering them out.


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Vincent and the Coffin Makers were inadvertently hired by a three-eyed ogre to make custom coffins for dead flies collected from the local garbage heap.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The local garbage heap is the preferred gathering spot for wanna be Barbie look-alikes who feel ostracized by their peers for their tiny waists and pointy feet


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Ostracizd Barblie look alikes became Serial Killer Babrbies and joined up with the
psycho Kens to declare war on the imfamous Rudolpho Chicken Plucker.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Psycho Ken dolls, wearing Barbie high heels, decided to raise money for Ken dolls, who were depressed after being rejected by Barbie, by running a coin shower marathon across cobblestoned streets.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Barbie looked at Psycho Ken and said "Great Googlu Moogly" and decided to date
GI Joe, who was doing naval manuvers in Hairazor's aquarium that ws filled with
pirahnas.


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

A band of piranhas play ukeles and bongo drums every Saturday while betting on the turtle races at the local coffee shop owned by two wombats and a roller skating goldfish.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A roller skating gold fish, with leg warmers and red glitter, tried out for Roller Derby at the local skating rink owned by a retired mafia Meerkat dressed in tap shoes and leotard


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The Roller skating goldfish lost it's map to the lost goldmine of King Tut. Meanwhile,
the goosestepping Geese from Georgia were searching for highball huckleberries that
were located on northwest Southwest street in Izzy Indiana.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The lost goldmine of King Tut was the nocturnal gathering spot for false eyelash wearing geckos determined to perfect a high wire act on dental floss strung between the piles of the King's fortune


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The geckos turned out to be dancing geeks who gallantly gave their all to fearlessly fly the friendly skies of Friendly Arizona. Meanwhile the Hoppy Toads got hopping mad that
Hairy Hingis was late.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The locl Mortician society's tickets were sold out in an hour. Meanwile, the evil heebee
geebies where attacking Fort Quagmire and leaving scores of hoobers in their wake.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Fort Quagmire held a mud stomping contest for peg legged entrants with the prize being a wash and wax for the peg leg


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

which was won by Peg Leg Schwartz's sister's best friend's mother's cousin's daughter,
Peg Leg Cynthia. Meanwhile a swarm of near-sighted barn swallows attacked a bunch 
of large mediums holding a séance to contact George Washington.


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

George Washington showed up at the seance wearing nothing but red-striped boxer shorts and a top hat he won from Abe Lincoln during an all night poker session on a steamboat piloted by Mark Twain.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Mark Twain, with his mustache cornrowed and beaded with red -white-and blue beads, had a bit too much hooch at the all night poker game and every time someone called his bet he would steer the steamboat in a vicious spiral till everyone fell off their seats and dropped their cards, whereupon he would declare himself the winner


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Meanwhile, Mark Twain changed hi name to Homer Noodleman and moved to
Arkansas looking the Ark and Noah's early remains. After a thorough search he
couldn't find Noah' Body!


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## Dreadmakr (Jun 20, 2018)

Suddenly, a huge flock of redheaded woodpeckers launched an attack on a truck delivering a load of trees to the local toothpick factory, while a group of beavers packed a moving van in preparation to move to their new home in the Sahara


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

A colony of beavers, wearing monocles and fake mustaches, tap dances at the corner of Broadway and 48th St. while having a blind rat, in a red Fez and sunglasses, collect donations in a NOLA Go Cup


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## Dreadmakr (Jun 20, 2018)

After her many acts of misbehavior in the store, Wal-Mart security actually let Hairazor back in.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

but Hairazor swiped 3600 rolls of toilet paper and sold them to the Salvation Army for
a shiny new nickel which she used to buy a


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## Dreadmakr (Jun 20, 2018)

Batman, in his rarely used Bat-Yugo, was racing down the street at an alarming pace, as he tried to catch the little kid on a tricycle who had just stolen one of the pink balloons that were tied to the For Sale sign in front of the Munsters house.


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