# The 7 Deadly Horror Movie sins



## Papa Bones (Jul 27, 2005)

Found this on another board, thought y'all would get a kick out of it. 

1. Doubt.
"It's just a dream, honey" - come on people, your son, daughter or best friend is having reccuring dreams in which they are getting brutally murdered, it's not just indigestion.

"Those are just ghost stories our parents told us" - Yes and they happen to be true. If all the adults in town have spent the last 17 years telling you not to go into the old abandoned factory, here's an idea: don't go into the old, abandoned factory.

2. Machismo. The arrogant jock who thinks he can defeat the zombified serial killer.

"You're perfectly safe when I'm around" - yes, but you'll be dead in 3 minutes.

"Shut up and make me some coffe before you get a black eye" - Nobody likes the abusive boyfriend/husband, If you mistreat a woman in a horror film you can look forward to your well-deserved, blood-soaked and audience-pleasing death.

3. Independence:

"Screw you guys, I'm going home" - actually you're going halfway home, by the time you hear footsteps behind you or a twig snap, by which time you break into a jog and then a sprint and then....well, you'll see.

"Come on guys, this isnt funny" - No, it isnt. But if you happen to be one of the unlikable characters, it's about to be. 

"We can cover more ground if we split up" - yeah, with blood.

4. Ugliness.

Unfair but true. An ugly person can be wearing body armour in a padded room hidden beneath a mountain and still get killed before the beatiful girl with big boobs.

5. Curiosity.

"Is that you, patches?" - If "Patches" is your nickname for the man hiding upstairs with a hatchet, then yes, it is.

"I wonder what the inside of that creepy old house looks like" - probably like the inside of a creepy old house. One that you and your soon-to-be-mutilated friends have no business setting foot in.

"Do you think it's dead?" - No. Go ahead and poke it with a stick. We want to watch it grab your arm and bite half your face off.

6. Irresponsibility.

"What's a little nap gonna hurt?" - A lot. Starting with you. 

"Trust me, the kids are sound asleep" - No, the kids are dead.

7. Vehicular sex.

You have sex, you die. 

Got anything to add to the list?


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