# Messed up wish list



## SuFiKitten77

This is a fun one .. the rules are as follows, the first person makes a wish .. the second person "grants" the wish but messes it up .. like the monkey paw. The first person then makes there wish and leaves it at the hands of the next person. I will start it. 
I wish it wasnt so hot and humid today​


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## Zombie-F

Sub arctic temperatures it is!

I wish it were Halloween already.

This should be a fun game...


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## Doctorthingit

Your wish is my command... But don't look now, the propecy of what is waiting for the children in Halloween III: Season of the Witch will now come to pass, whether they're wearing their masks and watching the Silver Shamrock ad or not.

I wish I didn't hate Nicolas Cage so much.


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## Zombie-F

Your wish is my command! You are now Nicolas Cage's love slave. 

I wish I had a million dollars.


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## Doctorthingit

Poof! A million dollars will now serve you, but the government wants to know how you got it. They're thinking *major* tax evasion here... Though I suppose you could be in the mob. Anyone asks, I don't know you.



Zombie-F said:


> Your wish is my command! You are now Nicolas Cage's love slave.


God, that is repulsive! He'd probably use me to answer his fan letters all day.

I wish candy was more expensive and fruits & vegetables were cheaper.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, candy is now the most expensive food out there and you can buy veggies and fruit for pennies .. and now the FDA has issued new warning's stating all veggies and fruits have been contaminated with a deadly virus and you will die within minutes of eating them. Candy is now the suggested choice.

I wish I had a swimming pool


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## Zombie-F

Global warming is rapidly accelerated and due to the melting of the polar ice caps, the world is now your swimming pool.

I wish I was a famous rock star.


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## Sinister

Country Star it is! You and Willie Nelson can both try to shamelessly show your faces at every little event and county fair where the hicks shell out dirt stained, raggedy-ass dollar bills to help the both of you re-pay the IRS for all the tax dodging you've done over the years.  

I wish I were a millionaire many times over.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you are now richer then you could ever have dreamed of .. you could live 400 years and still not have spent it all. You are sitting in your hot tub with all your material things when then butler comes in and trips over a cord knocking the stereo into the tub electrocuting you.

I wish I had more time in my day.


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## dougspaulding

Time is what you desire, eh? Well, I think that can be arranged. Let's see,...a little dealing with a Mr Bill Z. Bubb and there we have it - you have all the time in the world! Now you can read that stack of books you've been trying to get to for months. And then there's this stack, and that...but you stumble, and break your glasses! Oh, no! It's not fair!

(Shameless rip-off of TZ)

PS: If you don't wear glasses, work with me on this!


No more war.


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## Doctorthingit

No more war? You know what this means, don't you... Granted! But only now do you, and the rest of us, realize how important it was in the first place. World Peace has taken over everything, the military is dismantled. This means a great deal of American males, and some females, have the college population overflowing, the U.S. education system becomes a matter of where to house all the community college kids who can't afford to take a chance with the overblown student ratios at the Ivy League schools, the American youth is becoming restless... Add to this the fact that without military athlete and combat training programs, many young men, and again some women, have to find another way to get out their pent-up aggression. And America's Kumbaya obsession is starting to wear on their nerves. The majority of kids who aren't able to get into great academic programs want to be athletes and before the military was disassembled, there was already a surplus of wannabe jocks and joquettes. Suddenly, things are so Care Bears and Mary Poppins that everyone is sick to death of it, and murdering each other for fun. Even adults begin to get into the spirit.


I wish all my secret High School crushes would meet together and fall off the face of the Earth.


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## SuFiKitten77

You get your wish .. you are standing on a cliff watching them all fall off .. not noticing that there is a rope around your ankle attached to one them and you slip off the edge with them but dont die instantly on impact and die three days later after having bled to death smelling your old crushes start to decompose.

I wish to travel the world


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## Zombie-F

Not specifying which world, you are given a first hand tour of Mercury. Too bad you melted from the overbearingly hot conditions there.

I wish I could eat anything I wanted without gaining weight.


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## lipstikgrl

ok granted but due to atmoshperic changes it plunges to below 0 degrees and you need the extra weight for warmth.

I WISH I HAD A DATE WITH JOHNY DAMON.


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## SuFiKitten77

You get your wish and John Damon shows up at your door to pick you up for a date .. but when you open the door, you see that he has brought his mom along and when she sees you, she doesnt approve and he walks away telling you there was no chance.

I wish my boyfriend and I were already moved into our new house


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## Doctorthingit

Voila, you're all moved in! But now you're newhouse*bound*, held captive by international terrorists who are also in their spare time sadistic killers schooled in Nazi Camp torture methods. What will be your fate? It may be a dentist's drill- _"is it safe?"_

I wish I could speak all European languages fluently.


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## Sinister

Now you can! There is however one slight catch; for every word you speak, each one of them accurately, correct pronunciaton and dialect but they are different words of different langauges IN THE SAME SENTENCE.

I wish I could go to the concerts of every perfomer or band I always wanted to see but never got a chance to.


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## Doctorthingit

Awwwww, you have a dream... Granted, but you will be a barer of misfortune to every band you see. Exploding amps, self-smashing guitars, bad weather, riots, drug overdoses, static, low-flying airplanes and helicopters, until eventually all the bands break-up. And they'll have you to thank for it. I wonder if they'll each have noticed you at every show... In time, and thanks to security cameras, I bet they will.

I wish I had no idea how to drive a car.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you are now like a monkey having a sezure when you get behind the wheel of your car and everyone you know has moved far away and you have no way to get anywhere.

I wish night time would last longer .. the darkness atleast


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## Zombie-F

Granted, but guess what? It turns out, Vampires are real and without the sun to drive them into the depths during the "daytime" they have free reign and now rule the world.

I wish I didn't wake up with a headache today.


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## Sinister

Headache is no longer with you, unfortunately, it is the only thing that isn't aching.

I wish that I ruled the world.


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## Zombie-F

Again, not specifying the world which you are to rule, you are now appointed the ruler of Pluto. Hope you enjoy being flash frozen in the extreme cold.

I wish I didn't hate my job.


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## Sinister

Alas, you didn't specify WHICH JOB you hated, so now the situation is completely reversed. The "job" of creating Halloween props is something you now despise as opposed to the job you really hate which as of now you are just dying to get back to.

The world I wish to rule is Earth.


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## Doctorthingit

The whole wide world is yours... Unfortunately you had no idea what you were getting yourself into when you wished for it. I don't need to twist this one around, you'll find the task grueling enough without my help. Actually, I hereby cast the unhappy-ruler spell, that much I will do to spoil your fun. 

I wish that my mother's friend's cat had not have killed my mother's bird, which it did for real.


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## Zombie-F

Done! Most things happen for a reason, and by undoing this act of murder, this bird goes on to lead a bird revolution a-la Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds". Their first target, is you.

I wish I was able to finish my crypt prop this year.


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## Doctorthingit

Would you look at that, the prop is finished as ordered. However, it's just so impressive that everybody is finding it to be the greatest thing since sliced bread. And it gets stolen.

I wish my brother wasn't about to be arrested tomorrow.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, they don't arrest your brother but come and take you away and put you in a asylum for loonies where you are locked in a padded cell not never see daylight again.

I wish I was done moving


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## Zombie-F

Granted, you're done moving, but that's because you've just lost your job, been evicted, and have no home anymore to move stuff to.

I wish I didn't burn my leg with the fog machine on Friday.


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## Doctorthingit

You'll be quite pleased to learn the fog machine didn't burn your leg... A rabid runaway Japanese schoolgirl, foaming at the mouth, toasting everything in sight got you with an industrial-strength flamethrower. I doubt you survived. Your new hobby is handing out towels in locker showers in the Netherworld. Say "hi" to John Candy for me.

I wish I could meet Madonna, under amiable circumstances.


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## SuFiKitten77

_You get an invite to join Madonna on one of her yachts in the caribbean. Upon arrival, you find the islands around the yacht have been taken over by rabid birds who have pecked Madonna to death and the meeting never happens.

I wish my side wasnt bothering my today

_


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## Doctorthingit

It's a miracle, YOU'RE CURED! However, what's menacing you today is Dennis... Dennis Manson, Charles's long-lost brother. This one's not a sociopath, you should be so lucky. He's an insurance salesman!!! No, better yet, he's a paparazzi and he won't stop taking your picture. He's not doing it because you're famous. It's because the law clearly states that this action is not stalking or an invasion of privacy because it's in public. When he uses your image for the cover of porno magazines and websites, that's when you can nab him. But he'll claim insanity, and get off- hey, he's a Manson!

I want to re-wish my last wish. I wished to meet Madonna and I didn't, yet I still had to contend with the psycho birds. What's up with that? Try again.


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## SuFiKitten77

Doctorthingit said:


> I want to re-wish my last wish. I wished to meet Madonna and I didn't, yet I still had to contend with the psycho birds. What's up with that? Try again.


*Granted, you meet Madonna for brunch, the day seems to be going perfect when she has a mental breakdown and attacks you stabbing you with a fork in the face, leaving you blind and severly scared.Better?

I wish my writer's block was gone.
*


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## SuFiKitten77

Doctorthingit said:


> I want to re-wish my last wish. I wished to meet Madonna and I didn't, yet I still had to contend with the psycho birds. What's up with that? Try again.


*Granted, you meet Madonna for brunch, the day seems to be going perfect when she has a mental breakdown and attacks you stabbing you with a fork in the face, leaving you blind and severly scared.Better?

I wish my writer's block was gone.
*


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## Doctorthingit

Granted! You can write now. You just can't read. "Are you dumb or soppink??!"

I wish the website www.film-talk.com would CRASH! Or get an incurable computer virus.


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## Zombie-F

Granted. Unfortunately, the virus that disables their servers also spreads and infects every single other computer on the internet. Essentially, Skynet is born and the machines of the world rise up and wipe out humanity.

I wish Hollywood would stop with the remakes already.


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## Doctorthingit

Granted! Only, now the trend du jour are hundreds of movies ABOUT Hollywood studios only making remakes of older movies, TV shows, video games, and reality shows. It's actually so popular, that there are no more movie stars and the public only want to see no-name actors playing boardroom executives remaking remakes _of_ remakes.

I wish I couldn't sing well.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you now can't sing well .. but you are also unable to speak and become paralyzed and are unable to use your hands to sign.

I wish people would drive better.


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## Doctorthingit

Granted! However, they now drive so well that traffic jams are more than twice as common, so now they're everywhere. In small towns as well as big. Plus, to keep up with the demand, the law is changed so that now 13 and 14 year old's can have valid driver's licenses. More drivers equals more cars and more cars on the road equals more traffic. Parking lots are packed and no one can get out, everyone is late for everything, and though we are now a nation of better drivers, we're not handling this very well. It won't be long before violent riots erupt.

I wish that fast internet connections were dirt-cheap.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, it now is as cheap as lunch at Burger King .. you are so thrilled that you go to get up from in front of your computer where you heard the news from an email from a friend .. you knock your drink over shorting out your computer, and sad to say .. you don't have the money to replace or fix it.

I wish I had the money to repaint my Blazer.


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## Doctorthingit

Ka-Ching! Now that you have the money and have repainted your Blazer (and don't it look so nice?), what are you going to do? Buy a new one. Because someone dun stolded yerz after U made it look so gosh-darn pertty. I hope you didn't buy the expensive kind of paint, you might just have enough moola left over.

I wish everyone would stop trying to be like me, the groupies are circling!


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## Zombie-F

Granted. Now the whole world hates you to the point you can no longer go out without being threatened by violence. You eventually die of starvation because you can't go out and nobody will help you.

I wish I hadn't slipped on the stairs Thursday morning.


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## Doctorthingit

One back-to-the-past ticket it is. However, this little rip in the time-space continuom accidentally brings about a case of immortality, ala-Death Becomes Her. So now, you can't die or age a single day. But you can still be hurt... Your body can and will fall apart if you're in any kind of accident. Your pieces will live on if your body is ever maimed, even your ashes if your body is ever burnt. And you cannot live in one place for longer than 10 years or else people will get suspicious (beware the IRS and the census bureau) and naturally, they'll want to conduct experiments on you. What kind of life would that be. And that's if you're lucky, really. The other option is that people will consider you a freak and try to kill you by shooting your head to pieces or burning your body into those ashes. How much fun is it going to be watching the end of the world if you're already a pile of gray matter??

I wish honesty would no longer hurt peoples' feelings.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, honesty no longer hurts anyone's feelings .. but that is because everyone has been melted by a radiation blast from a fallen meteor.

I wish a certain guy I knew would learn to relax and not be so serious all the time


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## Zombie-F

Granted. The guy is now so relaxed he can't move thanks to a muscular condition rendering him immobile.

I wish I wasn't hungry right now.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you are now feeling full .. but sad to say you are now never hungry and everytime you try to eat you get severe pains in your stomach and throw up what little you get down. Soon you waste away and end up in the hospital where they are trying to find a cure for your mysterious illness.

I wish I could teleport anywhere I want when I want.


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## Sinister

Done and Done! However, when you arrive at your desired destination all hell is breaking loose and it will never get any better but worse the more you teleport.

I wish that I owned a Ferrari.


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## Zombie-F

Granted. You now have a Ferrari. Though, it is over 40 years old and beat to ****. You need to take out a sizable loan -- one that only the mob is willing to give out -- to fix it. Months later, after many broken legs and arms, they finally fit you for concrete shoes.

I wish tomorrow wasn't a work day.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you find you have slipped into some portal where you keep reliving today and you never have to work again .. sad to say, you also loose money and become broke.

I wish that skunk under my porch would go away


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## dougspaulding

Skunk does go away - only he goes on top of your porch, sprays your doormat, and then dies on it.

I wish we were all more understanding of our fellow folks.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, we are all more understanding and the world seems to be moving along more smoothly .. until the aliens land and we agree and understand there reasons for wanting to kill us and they do.

I wish I had a bigger driveway


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## Doctorthingit

Granted. But now it's so big that the town declares all extra space no longer your property, so your yard is turned into a parking lot for the mini-mall they plan to build nearby...on even more of the extra driveway you have. Time to call the realtor.

I wish people would stop believing in damn aliens, I'm sick of hearing about them.


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## dougspaulding

Nobody believes in aliens anymore - and that's their strength! They bide their time, and then they attack, destroying the earth. Our lack of belief lulled us into a false sense of security.

I wish Mr Bradbury would give me permission to adapt "Dandelion Wine" for the screen, as I have asked for. I further wish it would become a well loved successful adaptation.


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## Non Compos Mentis

I wish that we would not have to pay taxes. The money we pay in taxes doesn't even go where its supposed to. Its all a sham.


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## Doctorthingit

dougspaulding said:


> I wish Mr Bradbury would give me permission to adapt "Dandelion Wine" for the screen, as I have asked for. I further wish it would become a well loved successful adaptation.


Granted, oh creative one. However, he doesn't like your adaptation at all and neither do his hardcore fans, who launch a protest against your film. It doesn't really hurt the film though, since apparently it's a huge hit with families- the next Lord of the Rings / Harry Potter. But it's such a big hit, that by the end of your career in moviemaking, you begin to resent it.



Non Compos Mentis said:


> I wish that we would not have to pay taxes. The money we pay in taxes doesn't even go where it's supposed to. It's all a sham.


Granted, and since I've already messed up one wish in this post, I'm going to leave this one as it is since I really wish for the same thing.

Furthermore, I wish President Bush (Jr.) would have a MISERABLE time on all of his future vacations.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, everytime President Bush Jr. heads out on vacation, wherever he chooses to go, Mother Nature send the worst weather you can imagine to where he is and he always gets sick and is stuck in bed the whole vacation.

I wish it was Fall already


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## Doctorthingit

It is now fall... only with the same heat and humidity as summer. Pray for an early winter

I wish I could meet someone famous for my Birthday, but not Madonna (she's recovering - GET WELL SOON!)


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## Omega

You meet Shelley Duvall, and have the worst birthday just even spending one second with her.

I wish I could get my demo recorded already!


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, your demo has been recorded .. but sadly, no one in interested and it becomes a waste of money.

I wish I had a maid


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## Zombie-F

Granted. You have a maid but she steals everything from you one day and disappears from the face of the earth with all your valuables.

I wish my house hadn't been worked on by weekend warriors before I owned it.


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## Non Compos Mentis

My wish for banning Doctorthingit has come true. 
On a side note...I wish that the gas prices will start going down.


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## Zombie-F

Non Compos Mentis said:


> My wish for banning Doctorthingit has come true.
> On a side note...I wish that the gas prices will start going down.


You have to grant my wish, but with a dark twist before you can cast your own wish NCM.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, the gas prices go down .. but your car's engine dies and you are unable to get it fixed and you have no need for gas now.

I wish school for my son had started already (driving me nuts!)


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## Non Compos Mentis

Zombie-F said:


> Granted. You have a maid but she steals everything from you one day and disappears from the face of the earth with all your valuables.
> 
> I wish my house hadn't been worked on by weekend warriors before I owned it.


My bad.  Granted. But your house was worked on by illegal immigrants and they steal your identity and do heinous things in your name.


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## Zombie-F

ok, I'm gonna do Sufikitten's wish and we'll continue from there...

Granted. School's started for your son, but he's driving the teachers nuts now and gets kicked out of school, leaving him home with you again... driving you even more nuts.

I wish I didn't have heartburn tonight. Blech.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you now have no heartburn .. but you have severe diariah and are unable to get anything accomplished from being stuck on the toilet  Aren't you lucky?

I wish I my dog hadn't gotten sprayed by a skunk (gag)


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## Non Compos Mentis

As you wish. But your dog gets attacked by a coyote and the remains of the dog are scattered throughout the yard.

My wish is to be the host of the Headbangers Ball.


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## dougspaulding

And so it is, but during the festivities, someone acccidentally bangs you in the head with a blunt instrument, and now you're permanent host of the Thursday night sing-along at the local mental institution.

I wish I could find an original copy of "Dark Carnival" this weekend when I traverse the city in search of used book stores, and for a very reasonable price!


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## Sinister

Granted. You find your copy of _Dark Carnival_ in mint condition and the price is dirt cheap because the bookstore that's selling it is going out of business and has to get rid of everything on their shelves. Alas, as you are walking out of the bookstore a purse snatcher who has just stolen some old lady's purse runs headlong into you, knocking the book out of your hand which sails over the edge of the sidewalk, into the street and right into the path of an eighteen wheeler. The street is very busy in front of the bookstore and you can only lay helplessly on the sidewalk and watch with horror as your treasure is mauled and ruined by the heavy flow of rush hour traffic.

Along the same lines as Doug's ill-fated wish, I wish I could become a famous author.

(On a totally unrelated subject, I would just like to state that this is my 1,000th post! I don't know whether to be happy or sad about that particular fact. But, if it had to happen anywhere I would just like to say it was a pleasure for it to be on a post that was in answer to one posted by my best friend in the world. Okay, all of the mushiness and accolades on a useless pinnacle in my life out of the way, we can now move on with the game. Bad Fairy, what unfortunate stroke of luck can I expect with my wish?)


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, your novel becomes published and the bookstores can't keep copies on the shelf and you are now very famous. You have become so famous, you now have a crazed stalker who finds where you live and kidnaps you and you now find yourself in a dark basement where your stalker goes "Misery" on your ass 

I wish I could travel more


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## Sinister

You get to travel more! Unfortunately, it's all work related with absolutely no time for fun or sight-seeing. In fact, everything is scheduled so tightly, you barely have time to get something to eat before you have to board your next flight. 

I wish I could be a famous director.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you are now a famous Director who's career is cut short by a unfortunate plane crash - that sucks

I wish my bedroom was finished


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## Non Compos Mentis

Granted. But your roof gives in during a heavy rain storm and your house gets flooded.

I wish that I never existed.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted .. now who made the wish to have never existed??

I wish night's lasted longer.


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## dougspaulding

Done and done. Now nights last so long that they're met at the end of the night by the next night. All things flourishing in sunlight now die. The world is no longer a beautiful place.

I wish last night's lasted longer. :googly: 

(Kidding - I'm kidding!)


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## dougspaulding

Who will now twist my wish into something dreadful - or is it untwistable? Does that mean I won?!


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## claymud

Granted, now night lasts so long you never wake up.

-I wish I had a sandwitch


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## Zombie-F

Granted, you now have a sandwich... a knuckle sandwich. A bunch of thugs beat you up and take your lunch money. 

I wish I didn't have to finish painting the dining room today.


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## Mollins

granted you no longer have to paint it, because your house has burnt down

i wish i had loads of money


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## Sinister

You got it, young man! One morning you awaken to the sound of a very large truck backing up to your side of the house you sleep in. Before you can get the grogginess shaken out, the back end of a dump truck smashes through your bedroom wall and proceeds to bury you under an endless rain of pennies, nickles, dimes and quarters. You die rich but what a way to go.

I wish I didn't have to deal with insurance companies anymore.


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## ScareFX

Granted. The federal government will now reimburse you whenever you break or lose something. Unfortunately the tax rate is 99.9% and you can't buy anything anymore.

I wish there more time before Halloween 2005.


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## Dr Morbius

Alakazam! ..The leaders of the world have added a 13th month to the year, between September and October, called "Octembruary". This offsets the seasons, which, in time, causes Halloween to fall somewhere in what we remembered to be July..It is so hot, that no one can bear to wear costumes, Pumpkins are no longer in season, and trick or treaters are forced to get Ice cream cones and Otter pops in thier bags.

People get sick and tired of Halloween and it disappears forever.


I wish gas wasn't so expensive!


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## Sinister

It isn't anymore! Your wish is granted! However, I'm afraid that when it was expensive that someone came up with an inexpensive alternative fuel source and automobiles were mechanically altered to accomodate the transition...except for your vehicle. Now you're stuck with it, and they aren't offering you a recall and the new models are so expensive that no one can afford them. So you're stuck with an old auto and not a gas source in sight because all stations only serve this new type of fuel.

I wish people wouldn't use cellular phones for every aspect in their lives, especially when they're driving.


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## Dr Morbius

Granted!

Everyone, including yourself, now have communication chips implanted into thier brains,rendering cellphones obsolete. While driving one day, you are cut off, rather rudely, by a burley man with a bad temper. Your immediate and violent thoughts are transmitted to him, causing him to to react by cutting you off, stopping you both, getting out of his car and shooting you.

I wish everyday was Halloween.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, everyday is now Halloween .. which causes a world wide chaos with all the holy rollers thinking Satan has come to take over and all the world leaders panic and press the button and destroy the earth.

I wish some people could be more trusting and less paranoid


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## Dr Morbius

Granted..

without specifying _which_ people should be more trusting and less paranoid, only a handful of people now have this trait. One of them is you.

You see a squirrel in the park one day, and decide to trust it's nature by petting it. You catch Rabies. Trusting the medical community, you hitch-hike your way to the hospital, and a car stops. A raving lunatic salivates while eyeing you, and with blind trust you gladly get in his car. He hacks you into a million trusting, less paranoid pieces.

I wish I was president of the USA.


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you are now president of the USA, and in your second day in the office you get assasinated by some religious folks and never get to put in effect the 3 week long Halloween holiday that you had used to get you elected and which is also the reason you were assasinated.

I wish my animals would never get fleas or ticks again


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## Haasmama

Viola! You have found the perfect medication to prevent your lovlies from getting eaten alive by fleas and ticks. Lyme Disease is no longer in your vocabulary and those ugly collars are in the trash! HOWEVER the med has a tasty little tidbit that attracts mosquito's by the millions. Your pets and yourself are being sucked nearley dry by the tiny little vampires, forcing you to move to Antartica! (Haunted Igloos?)

I wish I had a self maintaining lawn! (No more leaves, tall grass or dog crap)


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## Dr Morbius

Presto!

Your lawn becomes a living topiary of a goat that eats itself.

No leaves,tall grass,dogcrap...and no lawn.


I wish Coke tasted like Pepsi


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## SuFiKitten77

Granted, Pepsi now taste like Coke but everything else you decide to eat or drink taste like cat crap .. atleast you got your Coke tasting Pepsi 

I wish it took a long time for me to get tired


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## claymud

Alacazamo, but now you can't seem to ever get tired and wonder around all the time, awake.

I wish I didn't get my head stuck in the freazer... again.


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## Dr Morbius

Your evil Genie has heard your request, and with a puff of acrid smoke, you are transported back from the time you stuck your head in the freezer..again, to the _first_ time you stuck your head in the freezer.

It has been there ever since, and you now your head is frozen solid.

I wish Pumpkins could carve themselves.


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## Sinister

the pumpkins now carve themselves. Their evil grins are filled with absolute malice as they take those self-same knives they used on themselves, they now turn on you and there is no where to run, for they are on all sides and coming out of the woodwork.

I wish my bills were all paid off.


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## Haasmama

Bills? What bills? Dead men tell no tales, well, dead men have no bills. You cant take money with you when you die anyway. The only problem is that while you were still on this earth, kicking your heels and having a grand ole time, you forgot to pay back the "small" loan that you got from the Mafia. (How did you think you died anyway?) Your family, and your family's family is now on the run, trying to keep themselves alive because the "bill" is still due.

I wish I didn't have such a two-faced, bitchy co-worker.


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## ScareFX

Granted... The coworker now has one face and is dead. Unfortunately they are a zombie now and stalk you relentlessly. Your brain is consumed when you go to the restroom at work.

I wish I could weld.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Presto Weldo! You are a welding wizard! You are obsessed with welding, welding everything you see.You weld your car doors shut, and start walking everywhere there is metal to weld. 

While crossing the street you cannot resist welding your steel-toe boots to a manhole cover. You find yourself in a shoving match with a Mack truck. The truck wins. You are now a permanant part of the manhole cover.

I wish I had a professional haunt.


----------



## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you now have a Professional Haunt ... in it's first week of being open it is so scary four people drop dead from heart attacks and you are closed down and thrown in jail on Accidental Manslaughter where you are roomed with one of the victims brothers who kills you for causing him more anguish.

I wish I could repaint my house


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted!

You CAN repaint your house! You repaint it over and over and over..
In fact, you never stop, and eventualy die from the paint fumes.

I wish more people played this game.


----------



## dougspaulding

Alrighty then, more folks are playing - so many in fact that it slows down the website to an excruciating speed (even for those of us with cable!)

And as we know, slow speeds are the devil!

I wish I could go to Houston and fly to the stars (though I may not have the right stuff to make the trip to Mars)


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted! You go to Houston the first chance you get..

While in Texas, you encounter hurricane Rita and are swept by the 175 mph winds into the stratosphere, where you die from lack of oxygen.

You never make it to Mars.

I wish my cat could talk


----------



## Haasmama

Me-ow you finally ask the cats for its opinion! You kitty thinks that because s/he is not happy with the kind of grub you have been feeding her and refuse to conceed to his/her request, she is going to be very un-friendly to you. You need to be careful what you ask for because now that your kitty can talk and be understood, all those little, embarassing things you do when you think no body is looking have just been broadcast to the neighborhood. 

I wish that I was a horror movie diva.


----------



## dougspaulding

Dr Morbius said:


> While in Texas, you encounter hurricane Rita and are swept by the 175 mph winds into the stratosphere, where you die from lack of oxygen.


I didn't necessarily mean today!


----------



## Dr Morbius

dougspaulding said:


> I didn't necessarily mean today!


Be careful what you wish for!!HAHA!


----------



## Dr Morbius

Haasmama said:


> Me-ow you finally ask the cats for its opinion! You kitty thinks that because s/he is not happy with the kind of grub you have been feeding her and refuse to conceed to his/her request, she is going to be very un-friendly to you. You need to be careful what you ask for because now that your kitty can talk and be understood, all those little, embarassing things you do when you think no body is looking have just been broadcast to the neighborhood.
> 
> I wish that I was a horror movie diva.


Poof! You are now Jamie Lee Curtis....Nuff said.

I wish my cemetery fence was done.


----------



## claymud

allazamdamdozaoa, your cematary fence was done, but that was the last thing and you were bord so you do it again and again until finaly it gets feed up with being redone and leaves...

I wish it wasn't so hard to find a copy of JAWS IN THE MOVIE STORES!!! (DVD)


----------



## HibLaGrande

poof! A nice new pair of pop bottle rim glasses has been surgicaly attached to your face.

I wish I owned a 2005 ford GT


----------



## Dr Morbius

Alaka-ZOOM!

After spending your life savings, and giving up friends and family, you are now the proud owner of a 2005 Ford GT! Since you can't afford a house, or rent, or anything else, your GT is now your home...where you eventually starve to death. Without any money for a casket, you are buried in it.

I wish more people used the new Chat room here


----------



## crazyryan

ZA-ZOOM! Everybody is using the chatroom and you win the Nobel Peace prize, but then an elephant sits on you.

I wish the Toronto Maple Leafs were destroyed


----------



## Haasmama

NEWSFLASH!!! The Toronto Maple Leafs were killed in a flaming plane crash while enroute to Phoenix for their next game. In memory of the tragedy, various childrens hockey leagues around the world decide to take the name as their own to honor the fallen players. Now, there are too many "Toronto Maple Leafs teams in the world and mass confusion ensues.... 

I wish I could make a wish that would really get granted.


----------



## crazyryan

Your wish is granted. Except this wish was worth nothin so every wish ever made was granted on you, and you died with a large pink hat on and a green dress on with a $100 hankercheif in your pocket. 

I wish i had an Xbox 360


----------



## dougspaulding

crazyryan said:


> ...and you died with a large pink hat on and a green dress on with a $100 hankercheif in your pocket.
> 
> I wish i had an Xbox 360


You are Crazy!

You also now have an Xbox 360. But the question remains, why?

I wish I could hurry and finish this Bachelor's Degree (and maintain my Summa Cum Laude)

(I said cum)


----------



## crazyryan

dougspaulding said:


> You are Crazy!


Read the name Doug..CRAZYryan

Your wish is granted, but u were found cheating on all parts. You were fined and kicked out. Then you ate a rabbit. Turns out that rabbit has rabbies and you died.

I wish Z came before A in the alphabet


----------



## claymud

Bamo- your wish is granted but now the basis of the english language is destroyed and everyone is sent back to kindergarden. The world collpases and everyone tries to reciet their favroit song... none can.


I wish the impending Potato take over wasn't soo soon


----------



## HibLaGrande

Wahhh ahhhhh! <- (angelic chior sound) Hostile potatoes everywhere remain as they where. French fries and potatoe chips are consumed by the tons. However, the potatoes lack of aggression causes desention among the legumes and the radishes soon take thier place within the power vaccuum. Not to be outdone ,the carrots announce their secret nuclear program and threaten all life on the planet. In a mad dash to save humanity scientist around the world set loose all the labratory rabbits who in turn quickly devour all vegitation on earth. The lab specimens then breed and mutate into carnivors with ravenous hunger for human flesh. Giant vorpal bunnies now command top billing on the food chain.

I wish I didn't spend the last few minutes writing this.


----------



## Dr Morbius

granted


Today, 05:19 PM 
claymud 
Uneasy Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Halifax Nova Scoita, in the Great white north of CANADA
Age: 15
Posts: 75 




--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bamo- your wish is granted but now the basis of the english language is destroyed and everyone is sent back to kindergarden. The world collpases and everyone tries to reciet their favroit song... none can.


I wish the impending Potato take over wasn't soo soon
__________________
All the Bacon in the world couldn't save you now... not from the LAZOR!!!


----------



## crazyryan

Abra Jumiji! You wish is done. But in your life the most terrible thing has happened. All the Potatoes in the world have been destroyed so that means their is no more for you to eat. And with no potatoes Ketchup has lost alot of money and has all Ketchup factorys shut down. As the millions more then usall tomatoes sit on the vines it infects a diese to the one beside it. And beside it. Until all the vegtibles in the world are gone and their cousins are mad (Fruit) and kill the 1 person who made the wish.


I wish it was christmas


----------



## claymud

granted, your wish is done... but to do that it would have to skip halloween and eveyone here and young chilrden everywere are mad because they didn't get their candy!!


I wish I had something to wish for


----------



## crazyryan

Your wish is granted. You can wish 4 a pony the next time you come on. But who knows, that pony might be EVIL!!!

I wish for Ottawa To Win The Stanley Cup and they wont die or the cup wont be taken away from them.


----------



## scarface

Granted the Blue Jays will win the World Series! 

I wish I had really long arms, man I hope you mess this up the right way!!


----------



## Haasmama

hmmmmm.... 

Really long arms are now yours, but now you have to compensate for the excess elsewhere and other parts of your body are now hideously shrunken. That's okay though, because you do have really long arms, and are able to compensate in many imaginable ways.

I wish that I had unlimited cash.


----------



## crazyryan

BAZOO! You get the cash and by everything...well almost. After a year or so you get bored so u buy an exucutor of Ebay and well... ur dead.


I wish i was purple


----------



## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you are eating out at a restaurant and start to choke on your meal .. now you are a lovely shade of purple.

I wish I wouldn't have to move again


----------



## Dr Morbius

Abra-ca-mortis!

You find yourself in your new home..It is quite small, however, and there is no light..You strike a match, (not easy in such a cramped spot,) and discover you are surrounded by silk and satin...and no way out...You scratch at your casket roof, and scream for help...untill you never move again.

I wish a good horror movie was playing on TV right now.


----------



## crazyryan

GRANTED! On comes the ultimate horror movie. But a crazy guy from another country comes in and takes out you eyes and yells- KOLLA IS COMING, AHHH! I dont think that has any importance but now you cant see the TV and watch the movie. Be careful what u wish 4.


I wish I was Spiderman


----------



## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you are now spiderman .. but sad to say scientist discover this and kidnap you and perform nasty experiments on you to discover how you have all your powers and if it can be duplicated.

I wish I was in London


----------



## dougspaulding

You're in London - during the reign of terror by Jack the Ripper. Although a respectable Kitten, you're in the wrong place at the wrong time, and are ripped!

I wish I could get around to finishing putting away my study.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof!

You are a study-putter-away-wizard!

You are finished putting your study away and it collapses under it's own weight.

You are buried alive under "study stuff".

I wish :googly: for infinite smileys


----------



## dougspaulding

You now have infinite smilies - that's punishment enough!


----------



## crazyryan

You did not wish a wish so you are banished for the rest of your days to work at an old persons home for people who dont have seeing, hearing, mobiltiy and the mute all in 1.


I wish someone can tell what im thinking right now


----------



## dougspaulding

crazyryan said:


> You did not wish a wish...
> 
> I wish someone can tell what im thinking right now


Just wasn't paying attention, I guess. Maybe next time.

Someone does tell you what you're thinking, but their insight into your mind frightens you to the point of paranoia. You spend your days in this state.


----------



## crazyryan

dougspaulding said:


> Just wasn't paying attention, I guess. Maybe next time.


Good job at making the wish. You turn into a pimple on Micheal Jacksons face.

I wish i had the leafs suck audio file from this site- http://leafssuck.ca/Playoffs


----------



## dougspaulding

crazyryan said:


> Good job at making the wish. You turn into a pimple on Micheal Jacksons face.
> 
> I wish i had the leafs suck audio file from this site- http://leafssuck.ca/Playoffs


I must have forgot again. I'll try to do better.

You now have the file but it's full of viruses - and you don't have a mac!

I wish I had a new Apple 2.5GHz Dual G5 8x SuperDrive with a 30 inch DVI Cinema HD Display.


----------



## crazyryan

First of all. CONGRATULATIONS! You finally remembered. Your wish is granted, but to get it, u sold ur soul to the devil.


I WISH I HAD 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 fluffy hats.


----------



## dougspaulding

You now have as many headwear as you asked for. Problem is you're covered by them and suffocate (a horrible way to go).

I wish I could get off this board and go to lunch.


----------



## crazyryan

your wish is granted but, u go to lunch and someone already ate it. You go physco and live in a padded room 4 ever.

i wish unpleasent street also focused on christmas too


----------



## Dr Morbius

KAPOW!

Unpleasant Street is now Pleasant Street..Featuring How-to's on building your own Elf props and Santa workshops..WAIT! ZombieF just changed his name to Z-Frosty!...Ohhh the pain of it all....Right below the Betty Crocker Christmas cookie forum is a link to Martha Stewarts home page..The HUMANITY!!

This just in..Z-Frosty's Gingerbread House prop is almost completed...

I..I just can't go on...

I wish I could get the Frosty Christmas cheer image out of my head.


----------



## claymud

You get the frosty image of christmas outta your head... but all the Martha Steweredisms got stuck in your head and now you'r running around making doylies and such.

I wish I could think of a new page for my site.


----------



## crazyryan

You didnt specifify wich site, u have 2. Both sites are shut down 4 good.



I wish it was Oct.5


----------



## dougspaulding

It is October 5th - and your team loses (badly!).

I wish the Gators beat 'Bama this Saturday.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted.

Without Specifying _which kind_ of 'Gators, an army of monster sized Alligators eat the entire state of Alabama..The game is cancelled..along with a bunch of other things.

I wish I had a watermelon.


----------



## crazyryan

Granted, but now ur head is a watermelon.


I wish i was a MADGYUeTFDYTSFW646hTFDYUSF^YTWD


----------



## Dr Morbius

Your wish is my command..

You are now "MADGYUeTFDYTSFW646hTFDYUSF^YTWD", which, coincidently, is also the name of an Alien race hell bent on destroying Earth. After being discovered, MADGYUeTFDYTSFW646hTFDYUSF^YTWD , you are taken to Area 51 and disected.

I wish for an unending supply of Pizza, which doesn't result in my death.


----------



## dougspaulding

The pizza pies don't kill you, they just give you an unending supply of heartburn (those things'll lay on your chest!).

I wish California would secede and form their own country.


----------



## scarface

Your wish is granted BUT when all is final an earthquake comes and busts off the entire state. Leaving only a few islands left. The islands are called Dougless because they are named after the person who died the most gruesome death during the quake. Nice work!!

I wish my nose would quit running.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Presto!

In order for your nose to quit running, it had to have been running in the first place..which is why it fell of your face and sprouted legs. Your nose now stands before you, motionless.

I wish telemarketers would stop calling.


----------



## crazyryan

your wish is granted...but it took an odd twist. Telemarketers stoped calling because you became one and they just keep handing you forms that u can fill out.

I wish I had a new random saying


----------



## Dr Morbius

Fizzlebroz!

Your new random saying is: "I wish I would fall onto a stampede of Lemmings."

This counts as a wish, and you are carried over a cliff by a mob of suicidal Lemmings.

I wish Vampires were real..And I don't want to become one, nor do I wish to encounter one in any way.


----------



## crazyryan

granted. Vampires are real. But you fall asleep and never wake up. Why. Dont no.


I wish i had a BETTER random saying than the 1 above


----------



## Dr Morbius

Grunted...


your new random sying: "Does bat thing into toilet ring drive south into pizza parlors while waves of harmonicas blow in the wind?"

This is phoneticlly similar to an encantation that summons the demon Sirell from the depths of hell. He grabs you and takes into the neather regions, kicking and screaming.

I wish for a Hybrid car


----------



## crazyryan

you got it. a hybird car.

i wish someone will finish this- how it goes wrong


----------



## HibLaGrande

Due to ground breaking biomechanical hybridization technology. You are now the proud owner of the "Leviathan SGX 6" a sporty sperm whale on wheels.Complete with one-off custom 198 inch wheels,High flow intake and custom rezonating blow hole. Not only does this baby run on water, It runs under water. 
While cruising the northern atlantic you are hapooned by a chinese fishing vessel. Once aboard the "Long Duc Dong" your car is sent to market and you are turned over to chinese military officials and executed for spying then sent to market as well.. 

I wish I could have a cool car like that.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted!
Due to ground breaking biomechanical hybridization technology. You are now the proud owner of the "Leviathan SGX 6" a sporty sperm whale on wheels.Complete with one-off custom 198 inch wheels,High flow intake and custom rezonating blow hole. Not only does this baby run on water, It runs under water. 
While cruising the northern atlantic you are hapooned by a chinese fishing vessel. Once aboard the "Long Duc Dong" your car is sent to market and you are turned over to chinese military officials and executed for spying then sent to market as well..

I wish I knew how to use chop sticks


----------



## crazyryan

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! You learn how to use chopsticks and you as a bonus, learn how to infect SARS into bunnies and Elephants, Gorillas and blue turtles.

I wish everyone cheered for the senators while they win the cup and the sens or i dont die and no damage is done to the Stanley Cup


----------



## Dr Morbius

Uhh. I don't feel like playing this game anymore.


----------



## dougspaulding

dougspaulding said:


> I wish the Gators beat 'Bama this Saturday.


Well - so much for that wish!


----------



## HibLaGrande

well, so much for this thread.


----------



## Dr Morbius

?


----------



## HibLaGrande

No wish to respond to.


----------



## SuFiKitten77

I wish I could fly

Here's a wish for you HiblaGrande


----------



## HibLaGrande

(ZAPOOWIE) you are Bot-fly.


I wish my wifes herniated disk was cured.


----------



## SuFiKitten77

Granted, her herniated disk is finally healed .. but when you guys are horsing around .. you slip and fall pulling her with you where she hits her head and bleeds to death.

I wish I had more money.


----------



## Mollins

granted!

you wake up in the morning then find out that you have millions of dollars!
so you go out and buy a house and a building for haunting and lots of pro haunting stuff, then you find out the money was put into the wrong account and it has now been removed, and the bank send round some people to collect the money you have spent, only to be told you dont have it and so break your knee caps.

I wish i had the worlds best haunt.


----------



## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you now are have a world famous haunt, everyone knows about it and travels far to enjoy it. One day you have a bus full of children pull up, they all get so scared they die from fright and you are thrown in jail for mulitple counts of manslaughter .. once in jail you slip in the shower fall, crack your head open and die instantly.

I wish it was Friday


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted..

It is now Friday..November 4th. You missed Halloween.

I wish I could get rid of my noisy neighbors


----------



## HibLaGrande

Granted: You are now forced against your will to get rid of your neighbors. you grab a knife from the kitchen drawer and make your way to the neighbors back door.You knock. As the door open you can see the frightened expression on the face of the punk kid that answers the door. Your hand comes up and the knife clinched in your white knuckle fist darts downward. You have no control your mind screams "NO" But it won't stop it.Will not stop it.Can't stop it. The kids throat bursts in a crimson plume. you make your way through the house with the same cold murdeous speed. until none are left alive. you are shot by police as you leave the house.

I wish to be a god.


----------



## Dr Morbius

biblecadabra..

Witout specifying _which_ God, you are now the Sun..Once worshiped as a god, you watch for millenia the planets of our solar system revolve around you..you can feel cosmic debris pelting you, and every once in a while, you flare up with anger from the eternal boredom. Eventually you supernova and explode.

I wish to end world hunger, without killing anyone.



HibLaGrande said:


> Granted: You are now forced against your will to get rid of your neighbors. you grab a knife from the kitchen drawer and make your way to the neighbors back door.You knock. As the door open you can see the frightened expression on the face of the punk kid that answers the door. Your hand comes up and the knife clinched in your white knuckle fist darts downward. You have no control your mind screams "NO" But it won't stop it.Will not stop it.Can't stop it. The kids throat bursts in a crimson plume. you make your way through the house with the same cold murdeous speed. until none are left alive. you are shot by police as you leave the house.
> 
> I wish to be a god.


I sometimes wish that WOULD happen! LOL (not my wish..See above)


----------



## maxcarnage

granted:

One evening in an experiment in the basement, you discover a formula that makes unfertile soil grow tremendous plants, and fertile soil, even bigger ones....in only one night, and without water. In kindness, you give the formula away to everybody, and nobodies hungry ever again....Eventually the planet has so much extra food left over, that it begins to rot, then a side effect is discovered...after the food rots, the land is forever barren, and will grow nothing...eventually, everything dies, and all of mankind has to resort to cannibalism to survive

I wish I was the greatest special effects artist in the world


----------



## SuFiKitten77

Granted, you now make the best special effects .. people call you from all over to create FX for them. While creating a new FX for a customer, you fall asleep with the sodering iron which is touching a plastic mask you made and it starts a fire and you and all your great FX burn to the ground.

I wish I didn't have to move again.


----------



## ScareFX

Granted...You have been flash frozen by liquid nitrogen.

I wish for three more wishes.


----------



## crazyryan

granted..o wait. Im an evil genie with a knife. Ur dead.

I wish Everyone hated the Toronto Maple Leafs with no Twists tied on


----------



## HibLaGrande

Ok now everybody in the known universe will hate the Maple leafs the next time they are out on the ice wearing twist ties.

I wish my hair didn't look like I just combed it with a piece of buttered toast.


----------



## claymud

Granted... Your hair now looks like you just fought Jam tost.

I wish I had more time


----------



## HibLaGrande

(Honk Honk) a truck load of Time magazine has just arrived at your house.

I wish for a +4 holy avenger! LOL


----------



## scarface

granted you now have a 74 pinto. 

I wish it would cool down here.


----------



## kevin242

Granted. Unfortunately, the sudden change in the weather causes sweeping global climate change rendering the whole of the northern US and Canada into Hoth-like conditions. The Packers are forced to move to Albuquerque, where they change their name to the Albuquerque Prairie Dogs and never win another championship... ever.

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.


----------



## scarface

Your boss calls and says that there was an electrical problem but this means that everyone will have to work this weekend. NOT only on saturday but on sunday morning also, only till noon though. 

I wish that I could get off my ass and be productive today.


----------



## HibLaGrande

ShaaaaZAAMM! You are afflicted with the worlds most horrid case of hemroids making the act of sitting impossible. But on the lighter side... the infected tissue has produced several buckets of thick yellow and green chunky pus. 


I wish for better employment


----------



## ScareFX

Granted! You now make $400,000 per year (about the same as dubya). Unfortunately your job is cleaning up huge buckets of thick yellow and green pus from the infected hemroids of Unpleasant Street members.

I wish my infected hemroids would go away.


----------



## kevin242

(harp strings) Done. It's a miracle! Your Proctologist has never seen a case like it! He wins "Healer of the Year" and has several articles about your case written up in the New England Journal of Medicine and becomes a national hero. Unfortunately, every proctologist in the world now has an autographed 8x10 glossy photo of your bunghole hanging in their waiting room... how em-"bare-ass" ing!


----------



## kevin242

I wish I were taller...


----------



## HibLaGrande

Abra-kapokus!(Bling) you are now a giraffe. hey those lions look hungry!

I wish my house was clean.


----------



## Drakemir

While you are out, robbers break in and steal EVERYTHINg including the carpet and all furniture. Your house is now spotless of everything dirt included.

I wish I had more time so I could build all these damn cool props I found when I joined here!


----------



## kevin242

Granted! You are wrongly accused of a heinous crime and sent to State Prison for 856 consecutive life terms (without the possibility of parole). The other inmates vote you to be in charge of the annual "Death Row Halloween Cotillion" where you spend the rest of your days thinking up new and terrifying props that have no materials that one could possibly fashion a shank from...

I wish for ONE MILLION DOLLARS!


----------



## Drakemir

Luck as have it! you find an old printing press and start making your self some funny money.. ONE MILLION DOLLARS worth.. unfortantly you were caught trying to buy one stick of gum with a 100 dollar bill at a quickie mart. You are now serviving quite a few life sentances right next to yours truley. Since we dont have any fake props we have to resort to using inmates for skeletons..

I wish that I could figure out how to make decent tombstones for no money..


----------



## claymud

Granted, but as it turns out the tombstones don't last too long, as you put them out they turn to dust. 

I wish that MASH was still running... lik new stuff.


----------



## crazyryan

ok. But u have to specifify, MASH potatoes are still runnung outta your nose.


I wish BOOYAH!!!!!!


----------



## kevin242

Your wish is granted, but wait... nothing has happened! Perhaps because "BOOYAH" doesn't really mean anything... faced with the overwhelming truth of this and by summarily wasting your one and only wish, you go completely mad, spending the rest of your days locked in a sanitarium muttering nonsense... :googly: 

I wish my jerky neighbor would move away...


----------



## Dr Morbius

(bling!)

A Mayflower truck pulls up to your neighbours house and loads up all thier stuff for thier move...into YOUR house!

I wish I had an air compressor


----------



## HibLaGrande

(Bling) Once upon a time you 'had' and air compressor, The memory lingers of the great times you had with it. but all that is gone now! you no longer 'have' it.

I wish I could have done better at granting that last wish.


----------



## SuFiKitten77

Granted, well .. you think you have a better way to grant the wish but you keep redoing in thinking it's not good and spend the rest of your life trying to come up with the best reply to that one wish and die a broken man.

I wish I had a full breakfast buffet in my kitchen


----------



## HibLaGrande

MMMMMmmm full breakfast buffet. sure thing! Hokus-cadabera! a full breakfast buffet is laid out in your kitchen. fresh from a unkown jungle tribe in India. you have your choice of deep fried hissing cockroaches ,fire ant pudding ,Tasty tiger tesicles,crocodile egg omlete,chilled monkey brains, and freshly squuezed wombat milk. among some other thing you can't seem to make out.MMMmmm.

Now I'm hungry.
I wish for a Country Burger Delux from Country Kitchen cafe' complets with 2 quarter pound slabs of hamburger,shaved ham,four strips of bacon, lettuce,tomato,onion, green olives, and Mayo. seved on toasted sourdough. Fries.(best damn hamburger on the planet, breakfast of champions )


----------



## SuFiKitten77

Granted .. you now have the burger in front of you and start to eat really fast .. apparently too fast because you choke to death from not chewing well enough.

I wish I was in New Jersey


----------



## Dr Morbius

Alaka-pokus!

You are in New Jersey.

It doesn't get more messed up than that!

I wish for a MILLION ToT's this year!!!


----------



## claymud

You do get a million TOT's this year and run out of candy. but you run out of candy and the TOT's are soooo mad they flip over your house.

I wish that I had a pie... a good one!


----------



## HibLaGrande

One steaming fresh pie coming up! Cow pie that is ,and it's a good one.

I wish everyone to have a good day at work tommorow.


----------



## claymud

Everyone does have a good day, so good in fact that they don't come home and no one grants your wish.
I wish that all that good classic movies would come to theaters again so I could seem them!


----------



## Dr Morbius

Your wish is granted..(violins, please!)

Without specifying _which_ genre of good classic movies, you are nailed down to a theater chair and forced to watch Gone with the Wind, Casa Blanca, every movie starring Joan Crawford, Betty Davis, and Gene Kelly.

I wish I had more money to spend on supplies for my Props this Halloween.


----------



## HibLaGrande

Zim Zim zala bim dala douzala dim. You have got your money for your props. You got an angle on every corner. You've got a little bit from all directions. Every week Johnny Thug brings in your piece of the numbers, Slim brings you the jack from your late night ladies. Plus a monthly check comes from your slums down on the southside. Life was good until a customs official you had on your payroll got popped bringing in your shipment from columbia and started naming names. 

The props you built were trampled by the FBI when they decided to raid your home. However, Trixie the "two toofed" crack head sent you soap on a rope the first day you arrived at the state pen. Ahhh what a heart warming gesture. 

I wish to own a giant gothic black stone tower 300 ft high, so I could live there with all my miliions of dollars, lavish expensive furniture , and high end sports cars.


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## Dr Morbius

HibLaGrande said:


> Zim Zim zala bim dala douzala dim. You have got your money for your props. You got an angle on every corner. You've got a little bit from all directions. Every week Johhny Thug brings in your piece of the numbers, Slim brings you the jack from your late night ladies. Plus a monthly check comes from your slums down on the southside. Life was good until a customs official you had on your payroll got popped bringing in your shipment from columbia and started naming names.
> 
> The props you built were trampled by the FBI when they decided to raid your home. However, Trixie the "two toofed" crack head sent you soap on a rope the first day you arrived at the state pen. Ahhh what a heart warming gesture.
> 
> I wish to own a giant gothic black stone tower 300 ft high, so I could live there with all my miliions of dollars, lavish expensive furniture , and high end sports cars.


Hahaha! That is, in my opinion, the GREATEST funniest messed up wish I have ever read! LOL times infinity! I am seriously laughing myself to tears!

Oh my god...ok..

On to your wish:

After attending the reading of your great uncle's will, you are invited to spend one night at his giant gothic black stone tower...which coincidently contains millions of dollars and high end sports cars. If you survive, you own it.

You survive the night, however, the dozen friends you invited died horrible deaths..Investigations lead to no paranormal activity, and conclude that you are the murderer.

Trixie, the "two toofed" crack whore, sends my regards.

I wish everyone had HibLaGrande's sense of humor.


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## HibLaGrande

Dr Morbius said:


> I wish everyone had HibLaGrande's sense of humor.


Thanks!
oh man I'm not gonna touch this one!:googly:


----------



## Dr Morbius

Dr Morbius said:


> I wish everyone had HibLaGrande's sense of humor.


 Nobody to mess up my wish? What a setup! come on guys..I'll mess it up myself if nobody else does!


----------



## Mollins

Granted!

Everyone know has HibLaGrande's sense of humour, In which causing it to become mediocre and boring, causing everyone to kill themselves through a lack of comedy value of everything.

I wish I had a steady safe building I could use to haunt every year


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted...

you are now in jail...happy haunting!

I wish Cornflakes were Goldflakes


----------



## HibLaGrande

Wham Bam! All cornflakes are now gold flakes! The box you were holding at the time the wish was made drops from your hand, smashing your toes into something that resembles hotdogs that were over cooked in a microwave oven. Due to the sudden weight change of their cargo, hundreds of semi tractor trailers blow tires causing thousands of deaths on the highways across the world.Roits insue as the value of gold is now on par with the value of toilet paprer. Economys fall to ruin. 

I wish that I am the only one to win the 340 million dollar power ball jackpot this week.


----------



## claymud

Bamowhamo you do but as for some randam reason the police decide to arrest every ritch person in the world... guess not the best time to win that power ball eh?

I wish that I wasn't so tired.


----------



## Dr Morbius

POP!

All the tires on your car (or bike) pop and fall off.

you are de-tired.

I wish my vaccum cleaner ran/runs by itself (automatically) so that my carpets are cleaned without intervention from anyone..(including zombies, ghosts or vampires).


----------



## TipoDeemin

Presto! Upon waking, you find a miniature black hole (nature's own vaccum!) located in a strategic position in your house, and it runs _all by itself_. In fact, after a few minutes, it _is_ by itself! Your carpets are clean, all right--clean of your possessions, your pets, your family, and possibly you if you can't hold on tight enough.

I wish I had a mephit to eternally do my bidding.


----------



## ScareFX

Congratulations! You now have the mephit pictured below. But he's is giving you the finger because he has stolen your identity. Your credit cards are being used to bid on and buy useless items on EBay. You become bankrupt and are forced to live in poverty for eternity.


I wish Trixie would go back to the crack house.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Presto-cadabra!

Trixie, the "Two-Toofed" Crack head moves into YOUR house, and invites all her crack friends over.."Skinny Sally," "Stinky Sam," "Rail-Ridden Roxie", and "Tuberculosis Tina"..Turning tricks to support thier habits, a long line of desperate drunks and meth-heads form out front. Your windows are broken, your house smells like catfood and ass, and all your furniture is sold to Ray, the Rock dealer. You are forced to sleep on a blood and urine stained sleeping bag... Yours is the most popular crack house in town!

I wish my lightbulbs would never burn out.


----------



## pyxl

By your command, it is thus. Your lightbulbs will never burn out...because the electricity from your home has been permanently disconnected. Sweet darkness is upon you.

I wish for peace on earth and good will toward men.


----------



## claymud

Ahh the ultimet wish, but since there is no more war people soon start to lose money and jobs... well then everyone goes broke and all hell breaks loose. 

I wish that there was less school in the week.


----------



## TipoDeemin

Done, and done! You now only have a couple days of school a week. However, you've still got to fill the same amount of classroom hours, so the school year has been extended--to three years. That gives you nine more years 'til your high school diploma, but hey, at least you've got plenty of time to do your homework!

I now wish that my printer wasn't broken.


----------



## claymud

Sure its not broken now... but it comes alive and eats you... So i guess thats a lose win... 

I wish I had a dime...


----------



## Sinister

A dime you now have, and that shall be the last one you'll ever get...this includes any other money as well. So you die on skid row, homeless, with not a thing but that dime, which won't even buy you a bottle of the cheapest booze.

I wish I could finish all the writing projects I have going on now.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Whiz-bang!

Your keyboard smokes from the speed of your fingers.

Files can't save fast enough, so you turn to pen and paper.
You scribble furiously, untill you are finally done with ALL your writing projects!

Seems like nervana, untill...you realize..

It all sucks.

You went too fast, and didn't have time to edit your work, or even to use good judgement!

Stories you had in your head wandered off into strange directons. As you peruse your penned babblings, you crumple the last two pages in your fists and slump over on your desk, disgusted at the thought of starting over.

You plunge the pen you were holding into your temple, splattering a single drop of blood marking a period into the last sentence you wrote: "I would die for my writings."

I wish I got a raise at work.


----------



## TipoDeemin

Alakazzam! Your company creates a new division, and you're promoted and given a raise! Unfortunately, it's a zombie-wrangling division--you know, to cover up that _incident_ last month. Technically, your raise is just hazard pay. No worries, though; that zombie only scratched you, and probably no one will even notice. At least you got a decent paycheck!

I wish my back would quit hurting.


----------



## claymud

Granted, not only does your back QUIT hurting it just quits and it leaves you like a blob of jelly lying on the floor.

I wish I was a Oscer Mire Weiner, that Is what I really want to be, and if I was a Oscer Mire Weiner everyone would be in love with me!!!


----------



## Sinister

By the power of three times three so shall it be! You are that most coveted of frankenfurters. You are eaten every day. The down fall of all this is that you feel the exquisite agony of each and every bite that is inflicted upon your casing as teeth dig into your processed meat by product insides. You still feel it as you are digested by the searing pain of the human body's acids and sent out to exit as a pile of excretment, into the toilet and on the way to a dank, dark, stinking hole known as a septic tank, where you rot away wondering why you ever thought to wish for such a dumb ass thing.

I wish that professional sports players and actors weren't paid so much goddamn money for something some of us all do every day for free.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ka-ching!

All sports players and actors are now broke. They no longer receive paychecks for thier talents. They all quit and get into other professions, and are replaced with amateur athletes and actors. 

Sports are a joke, and all the movies made now, are horribly acted. No one will watch either, and sports and movies disappear forever.

I wish we had a thriving moon colony.


----------



## HibLaGrande

as per your request... All property within a mile of your home has been purchased by an investment firm. All of your neighbors had recieved notice in the mail with a very generous check for their relocation. Yours was lost in the mail. The research team for said investment firm had discovered a geological signficance between the astral positioning of the land around your house and and a link to the beliefs of a certain secular group. while your protests and appeals are slowly chuning through the bowels of the judicial system, a large wall is built by creepy bald people in white robes, around the parimiter of one mile. The parimiter is with no doors. no one will leave and no one will enter ever again. You are now part of the worlds largest colony of moonies. aptly named the moon colony by those on the outside.

I wish every word in the next reply to be spelled wrong.


----------



## Dr Morbius

O Kraap.

EK,

Yer weesh us grunted%

rEsplonding tew yur weesh, ivory werd en thes reepli es spelld wrung.

Konteplate thes:

know weesh wuz spesifecally maade, zo, awl ey kan doo eez bable awn aand awn. Yew gow maad triying tew macke centz uv et awl.

Ey weesh forr thuh zame theeng frum thuh nekst replie.


----------



## HibLaGrande

Oe Mahn ,

Fore sum unnoene reesin Iye fowned yt hawrd tu figyur owt watt thuh preeveeis whische wuz phore. soe Iye wiyul trie tu kiyul tu berds whyf won stown.
Thiz iz tuffer thin et sownds. az pur yore rekwest, ewe wilbee reseeving thuh saim theeng thait Eye Wilbee whissheing four knowe. 

Iye whische two bie beeten haf tu def bye a to toofed krak-hoer weeleding aye daie owld doenught, wyle rydink aye vary larje purpul ponie threw doune toune trffik wharing onlie a peenck bunee cahstyoom.


----------



## Dr Morbius

It's parade day!

You gather with friends and family at the side of the road to witness the greatest Halloween parade in history!

Scary floats go by with sinister displays and Hot Rod cars with black and orange streamers creep by as well..The local marching band is dressed up as zombies and play an instrumental version of Michael Jacksons' Thriller.

Things go great until..

You see at a distance a pinkish fluffy mass..Hmm not very Haloween-like, you think to yourself, and wait in anticipation of what it could be..

Oh, a Bunny riding a purple pony! How cute is tha......Your thoughts are stopped short by a sharp pain on the side of your head..you notice you have been pelted by a Day-old doghnut!

You can't believe a cute pink bunny would deck you with a doghnut, but then you notice it is Trixie, the two-toofed crack whore!

She dismounts the purple pony, and runs after you, Pissed off that you made her involved in yet ANOTHER inane wish.

She beats you half-to -death with every last remaining doughnut she has in her arsenal, which happened to be about thousand of them.

The parade is called off, and you are no longer allowed to participate in anymore Halloween events in your town!

I wish Trixie the two-toofed crack whore would die.


----------



## TipoDeemin

Your wish is my command!

Trixie the two-toofed crack whore happens to walk down the wrong alley one night, and the next day, the cops find her mangled body. She is given a short but touching funeral and buried in the cemetery nearest your home approximately a week later. Unfortunately for you, a black cat jumps over our dear friend Trixie's grave as the casket is being lowered into it. Not long afterwards, people around your neighborhood begin to fall strangely ill and die inexplicably. That, and the earth around Trixie's grave always seems _so_ fresh!

Looks like poor dead Trixie, having been raised on old wives' tales from her Romanian grandmother, couldn't help but interpret this as a sign that she was supposed to rise again and walk amongst the living. Guess which two teef she still has?  That's right! Trixie the two-toofed crack whore is now Trixie the two-toofed vampire, and your street corner is her new favorite haunt.

I wish my lame friend who always comes to my Halloween parties without a costume would quit being such a spoil-sport and dress up this year.


----------



## kevin242

Ala Kazam! Your wish has been granted! 

Your lame friend decides to surprise everyone and make an awesome costume. He gathers some old clothes from his closet, takes a pair of scissors and gets to work crafting the most insane, spooky swamp zombie costume ever! Unfortunatly, on his way to the Halloween party, he realizes that he is indeed lame and cannot walk. He has no choice but to spend the entire night at home watching the lame edited versions of horror movies on ABC Family...

I wish the freaking rain and wind would stop trashing my props!


----------



## Dr Morbius

[thundercrash] Lightning fills the dark sky over your yard.

The wind and rain is really relentless, and you gaze in frustration at the brutal beating your props are taking..just then you notice a shadowy figure appear over the highest mound of your yard. With arms stretched upward, the figure summons the power to stop the wind and rain! A few flashes of lightning illuminates the figure just enough for you to recognize the face.

It is Trixie! The two-toofed crack Vampire!

She happily kicks over the remaining props in your yard, totally ruining them. As you run to stop her, she grabs you by the nape of your neck and sinks her two-toofed fangs into your jugular.

Not only are you now a vampire, you also have an uncontrollable craving for crack!

I wish the next reply was spelled _*backwards!*_


----------



## ScareFX

.esuohkcarc ym fo tuo teg dluow seripmaV eseht hsiw I

!kcarc rof gnivarc elballortnocnu na htiw eripmav a era oot uoy woN .metsys ralucsav oidrac ruoy hguorht gniwolf nibolgomeh der eht rof elttes kcarc on gnidnif dna thgin fo krad eht ni nwod uoy tnuh yeht oS .kcarc no si rotcoD doog eht emussa yeht duol tuo ylper siht gnidaer nigeb uoy nehW .kcarc rof tnuh eht no llits era eripmaV kcarc defoot-owt eht eixirT dna 242niveK ,ees uoY .ydegart ot dael noos lliw enod evah uoy tahw ,hguone suouconni smees ylper sdrawkcab a rof erised ruoy elihW 

.redro esrever ni nettirw s'ti sdrawkcab delleps ylper eht si ylno toN 

!dnammoc ym si hsiw ruoY


----------



## Sinister

The crackhouse is now free of Undead influence, but has been replaced with bloodthirsty Werewolves infected with both AIDS and Rabies.

I wish that we could get many of the members we had on the old BADASS forums on this message board too.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Wishy Washy!

Your wish is granted...

All of the members from the badass universe forums are now posting on this forum..However, your wish has been interpreted by all the other members here as being a wish they all would vanish...So, all the members here go, and since everyone from the old forum has no new people to talk to, they leave too..you are alone and free to post to yourself forever.

I wish I owned every horror movie ever made.


----------



## Sinister

Done and Done! Every Horror Movie that has ever been made suddenly drops into your house from silent forgotten films, to the lowest pile of crap that was ever allowed to be made from some punk kids camera in their parents basement. The sheer amount of film reels, video tape, laserdiscs, DVD's etc. crush you, your family and bursts through every seam in your house destroying everything for several miles in every direction.

(On a side note, I just happen to like a great many folks here posting now, including you Doc!   )

I wish I never had my last auto accident.


----------



## Dr Morbius

(we like you too sinister!)

KaRash!

Your last car accident isn't your last. In fact every time you get into a car, whether you are the one driving or not, you get into an accident. It seems you can't even look at a car without causing an accident. After gazing at the busiest intersection in town, you cause a massive 300 car pileup! One of the buses rolls over, flips, and crushes you. The driver gets out, and performs mouth-to-mouth resussitation...wait! that's not mouth-to-mouth! It's mouth-to NECK! The driver was...(drumroll please)..

Trixie, the two-toofed crack vampire! She revives you in the most sinister (snicker) way! You two drive off into the sunset...untill you crash. Again.

I wish I had my servos and controller board so I could start building my new animatronic props.


----------



## HibLaGrande

(ScareFX, That was a very cool post  )


Cha'ching, you are woking in your lab getting your new creation ready to fit the servos and other random electrical doohickies and thingamagizmo's,when they arrive. When ,from behind you, a chilling voice comes creeping around you neck..."Are theath the parths you wannid?" ... yes it is your friend ,and mine, Trixie "the two toofed" vampire crack whore. It seems she has cleaned up a bit and is now doing late night courier work. "Here thake thith thit will yuh!" she shoves the package.Brushing you aside, she wanders over to your latest animatronic monsrosity and laughs"what the hell ith thith thing?" she ,turns to you and spits "And now for the reth of your whith" 

When you wake up trixie is gone along with your wallet and VCR. She left only the delivery uniform and a nice hickey on your neck. 

You take to the vimpire life rather well.It turns out that it was not really that big of a switch for you and turn your attention to your props. You begin work. Planning ,adding to ,making bigger you work through the night and through the day constantly making it bigger,better. Days go by scarrier,larger. months turn into years. The age of man passes into oblivion and the things that replaced them don't celebrate halloween. yet you are still ticking away at that prop. "Almost done" you giggle to yourself,as the now dead planet Earth spins into the sun.

I wish Trixie would appear in "Mosters Unleashed"


----------



## Sinister

I grant thine wish.

Trixie makes her appearance in Monsters Unleashed. She does so via a temporal flux that opens in the neighborhood crack house unexpectedly and it transports her back in time to the 1800's, where before she gets her bearings and realizes what's going on, she is dispatched with a stake through the heart by one Abraham Van Helsing.

I wish I didn't have so many relatives that were ****ing scum bags.


----------



## kevin242

Wow. After considerable thought, your wish has been granted...

All of the scum bags are gone. Now your relatives only have sex with bags of horse manure...

I wish that PC hippie buttholes )*(would stop trying to ban Halloween because it offends "Wiccans".

 Rant: As an American citizen, I have every right to _poke fun_ of your group, especially if you do things I think are goofy. You want to be labeled as part of a group? You want to speak out against injustice? That's your right. Just as I have the right to _make fun_ of whomever I want. *This includes, but not limited to:* hippies, homos, retards & the handicapped, minorities, illegal aliens, rich people, poor people, liberals, born-again christians, baptists, left-handed troglodytes, children and the elderly. If you don't like what I'm saying, too bad. You like to dress up in black and bay at the full moon while holding hands around a tree? Good for you, Freak. Free speech is a right for all of us, not just a privilege for those easily offended...
ok I feel better!


----------



## Sinister

As you wish, so shall it be. Pinko-Commie Hippie Butthole's died off in the sixties as a result of smoking marijauna in its myriad forms due to an experimental herbicide known as Triox. The result: re-animated corpses with a desire for human flesh that overides their previous motivation to ban Halloween for absurd reasons. Now the world is overrun by the living dead, and Halloween and the banning of it is YOUR least concern as now your main desire is just to survive another day without becoming Zombie buffet.


I wish I had a big, thick, juicy rare steak (beef) with all the right side orders.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ten..HUT!

Your in the Army now!

Your drill sargeant has ordered you to knaw on the right side of a cow!

Mmmm..juicy!

I wish people trick or treated on Christmas too, while wearing scary costumes!


----------



## Dr Morbius

no one to mess up my wish?

Does that mean I win?


----------



## TipoDeemin

I'm sorry this took so long, but the Wish Nazi jumped me and stole my reply to your wish, screaming "No wish for you!" as he fled out the front door. It took me four days to track him down.

The Nazi led me to a run-down bar in a back alley on Shady Street. As soon as I walked in, I knew there was going to be trouble, but I couldn't in good conscience let a wish go unanswered. I stepped coolly into the dive and looked the bartender in his one good eye. I pulled an artist's rendering of the Wish Nazi from the pocket of my trusty trenchcoat and waved it under his nose. "Have you seen this man?" I demanded.










The bartender pointed up the stairs with a grim look on his face. I headed boldly to the second floor.

The stairs opened onto a narrow hallway with a single door at the end. There was no time to be sneaky, so I made for the door, and fast. The door dropped to the ground like a penny thrown from the top of the Empire State Building, but I came to a dead stop in mid charge.

Sprawled before me was a scene so ghastly my mind nearly snapped. Trixie...? Even _this_ is too low! Taking no time out to think, I closed my eyes against the horrors, kicked aside a pair of furry handcuffs, and grabbed the response from the Wish Nazi's grasp. I wish I could tell you that I gave that man a sound beating for his crimes, but no... I ran. I ran with every fiber of my being, 'til my legs caved beneath me and sent me flying to the ground. And then I crawled. I crawled on my hands and knees to bring this response to you, and by God, I'll read it to you now!

<Clearing throat> "Shazaam! Your wish is granted! Now children trick or treat on Christmas, in scary costumes, too! They dress like scary shepherds and wise men, and sing terrifying songs about a fat man in a red suit and deer with glowing noses. And they don't want candy; they want presents. They've got lists, and they won't stop singing 'til they get it all."

I wish I hadn't seen that horrible sight at the bar last night. Oh, Trixie... Trixie, how could you?


----------



## claymud

Granted amundo... But you were never able to track down the question nazi and he is able to bord a plane to France where you now have no chance of finding him... You never knew about what took place at the bar and you are free of the torment... but wait if the question Nazi is in France then there is no way that this awser could exhist... or anyother questions for that matter... now I'm confused... help...

I wish I understood what was going on...


----------



## Dr Morbius

REWIND!

Tipodeemin never saw the wish-nazi with Trixie the two-toofed vampire crack whore, and so never retrieved the wish I made..Since you granted her wish and she never saw him, my wish still remains ungranted...


I wish people trick or treated on Christmas too, while wearing scary costumes!


----------



## claymud

People and its a big smash hit! But wait whats this... They are now showing a sliced together version of Ernest Scared Stupid and Ernest saves christmas... it makes no scencs... oh but it gets worse... Insted of having to put up with those Martha Stwered living specials once the season there are now special two hour specials for the Halloween and Christmas aspects of the haliday... but wait theres more... Scince all the kids went out to get candy on christmas eve and got all hopped up on sugar they stayed up all night so Santa had to skip them all. 

Now you see Doc thers a angrey mob of three year old children comming at you... Boy I'm glade I never made that wish, Bye!

I wish I had a canoe


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof!

You have a canoe.

Now you are up **** creek without a paddle, 'cause you didn't wish for one.


I wish I had a camera that took better night pics!


----------



## Sinister

Your camera is now able to take night pix no matter how dark it is. It can take clear pictures even in the darkest of caves, deepest of wells, the blackest of nights, but when the daylight comes about then it goes up like a vampire exposed to full sunlight and unfortuanately you lose all of your pix and your night vision camera as well.

I wish I didn't have indigestion right now.


----------



## dougspaulding

Sinister said:


> I wish I didn't have indigestion right now.


You don't - because a zombie just ate your stomach (I just thought of that because I just finished watching *My Boyfriend's Back*)

I wish I could think of a good gift to get Uncle 4E for his birthday party next Saturday.


----------



## scarface

You get him some Hillary Duff movies and a Bon Jovi tape. Nice work!!! 

I wish I could get over this wicked bird flu and this touch of polio I have.


----------



## Dr Morbius

The polio prevented you from getting vaccinated from the bird flu..You die from both..You are now over them.

I wish Easter was Halloween.


----------



## Sinister

Easter is now Halloween. I hope you are happy with your wish, because now the situations have reversed and Easter is now on October 31. 

I wish I didn't have to makes so much food for everyone on Thanksgiving.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poofbasted!

You no longer have to make so much food for everyone on Thanksgiving. You only have to make _some_ food for everyone on the planet _*every day*_!

I wish they would bring back 8 track tapes.


----------



## Sinister

The 8-track tapes come back and simultaneuosly wipe out the CD market. No one even has an 8-track tape player and can no longer listen to music. With no music to chill anyone out, a world-wide apocalypse ensues and everyone and everything is annhilated just because you wished for the crappy invention that made stars out of such tripe as *Peter, Paul and Mary, Red Sovine, Three Dog Night* and *The Chuckwagon Gang.*

If it isn't going to snow for Christmas or Thanksgiving, I wish it would ****ing rain all day long both days.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Forecasto!

It turns out snow is NOT in the forecast for Thanksgivivg or CHristmas.

Through the help of your wish, and a little absurdity, snow has the ability to have sex with rain..In fact, it's been ****ing rain on both days, all day long.

The offspring is a meteorlogical nightmare. Giant blobs of slush, 5 to 20 gallons each plummet the earth with violent ferocity. Too slushy to drain, too slushy to shovel, it piles up and covers the earth, turning it into a planet-wide Slurppee.

This attracts a passing UFO and the aliens find they like the slushy treat! The earth becomes "The Treat of the Galaxy".

Every alien family in the universe brings thier kids to the new intergalactic 7-11, untill they slurp up the last of the slush...They encounter your dead-frozen corpse and grimace at the flavor of it. Feeling like they had been "had", the aliens blow up the earth, for fear of furthur contamination.


I wish my laundry would wash itself.


----------



## HibLaGrande

Your wardrobe now consists of only a single suit made from live kittens. The last time anyone seen you alive ,you were running away from an extremeist PETA Mob through china town.

I wish I knew what a hubcap diamond star halo was.


----------



## Dr Morbius

GONG!

In order to know what a Hubcap diamond star halo is, you must HAVE a hubcap diamond star halo...Now you do, your dirty,sweet, and your my girl!

Now wash my car and get me a beer, bitch!

I wish HibLaGrande looked better in spandex.


----------



## Dr Morbius

No one to grant my wish? C'mon! HibLa can't look THAT good in Spandex!


----------



## ScareFX

Your wish is granted!

The photograph below shows HibLaGrande indeed looks much better now in a Spandex outfit. However, HibLaGrande is also now a dog. A rabid dog. A rabid dog that bites Dr Morbius. You must undergo a painful series of shots to treat the rabies. Unfortunately, you do not survive. So your simple wish to have HibLaGrande look better in Spandex has lead to your own death...How very sad.


I wish I had bought 1000 shares of Google stock during the IPO.


----------



## claymud

*Sprinkels fairy dust* you bought a 1000 shares of google after you went back in time... but little know fact of the universe, when you go back and change the past the future is affected. So Google doesn't do that well and you are soon in debt. Oh well maby next time eh?

I wish I had done better on that math test


----------



## Dr Morbius

Calculadabra!

You studied hard for that math test.

You put everything you had into learning those equations, and even skipped meals to make sure you had enough time to study.

You took the test and got an "A"!

Uh oh..you forgot to study for your other subjects and failed them miserably.

You fail to graduate, and now you must pick lettuce in the fields with the rest of the undocumented workers in order to make enough money to eat, since no one else will hire you without a highschool diploma.

The work is back-breaking, the sun is relentless. You die from pesticide poisoning.


I wish I had the powers of mutation.


----------



## grapegrl

/rides broom into thread
//wiggles nose
*tinkle-tinkle-tink!*

Congratulations, my dear doctor. You can now mutate at will. Unfortunately, your body's built-in DNA repair process thwarts your unnatural attempts to change your cellular structure. You try and try to free yourself from the mundane bonds of the form you were born with, but to no avail. Eventually, your DNA repair process can no longer keep up with the perceived damage to your cellular makeup. You age prematurely and your body is soon wracked with cancer. The pain is excruciating.

 Granting wishes is fun!

Now...someone bring me the head of my ex-husband!


----------



## Sinister

"Done," sayeth the Sinister Djinn. "Here's your ex-husbands head. Alas, since this was acquired by dark magic, the head you requested can still talk, and does so incessantly. No matter how hard you try to dispose of this new annoyance, it always returns, intact and rattling on and on. Eventually you lose your mind and are carted away by the men in white and to add insult to injury, the head only appears to you while you are alone, in a straight jacket in your padded cell. And yes, the bloody thing still attains it's powers of vocalization." 

I wish I had a nice, fat, juicy, prime cut beef steak.


----------



## grapegrl

*ding!*

Your steak, sir. Too bad you lack the equipment to properly cook it. Not one to be daunted, you decide that you've always wanted to try "steak tartare", so you eat your big, juicy steak raw (you gastronomic adventurer, you!). You get infected with a beef tapeworm, which with proper care and feeding can grow to be up to 30 feet long!  You eventually have an "interesting" visit with your gastroenterologist.

Hmm...let's see...I need a bumper crop of grapes this season and a very generous buyer willing to buy every last grape at significantly more than last year's market rate.


----------



## claymud

Well someone does buy your whole crop and pays you millions for it! The only thing is he dies from bad grapisms and so do their friend who were at a party. Luckly the money he pays for helps cover the lawsuits.

I wish I had a boat!


----------



## Sinister

It shall be as you requested, my dear! The very generous buyer who just happens to be driving through the area spies your grapes and offers you more than you could ever imagine for them. However, when you go to cash his check at the bank where you do business, it just so happens the "generous buyer" has stolen your identity somewhere in the past, used it to embezzle millions of dollars and the FBI has had a warrant for your arrest with all law enforcement agencies and federal banks looking out for you. The check has your name on it and and all the details they have on file matchup, so you go straight to federal prison. Sadly, you go never knowing the fate of your beloved grape crop.

I wish the weather would decide whether it was winter or summer in Florida.


----------



## Sinister

*sigh* Who knew that being a master mage would have you granting more than one wish at the time.

You get your boat clay. Unfortunately, you don't discover until it is much too late out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, hundreds of miles from any land, that the damn thing has sprung many leaks and is sinking fast in shark infested waters, and you without a lifeboat.

My wish still stands.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Meteorlogicapocas!


The weather has decided it will be summer in Florida. 


Strange thing, though, that the weather now can decide things, it must have a mind of it's own. Having gone through earths' history without having to think, it now resents your want for its cognitive abilities. It is now depressed, and takes it out on you and only you.

It thwarts all your outdoor activities, by raining on your parades and golf games. It strikes lightning on your boats and camping tents, and, just for fun blows your house down. 

Now apologize to the weather.Go on..say your sorry.


I wish I could turn a windsheild wiper motor into a servo.


----------



## Sinister

Bang Zoom! Your favorite evil wizard once again grants your wish. The special windshield wiper motor works like a charm, even better than you expected for your yard haunt purposes. As you stand in complete awe of the wonders you have wrought, the car it was taken from is the insane and vengeful cousin of the automobile known as *Christine,* and it's looking for the person who has in his/her possession it's purloined motor. It sees you as it's barreling down the road and realizing what is happening in your yard, runs over you and keeps doing so until you look like the worst of roadkills. Magically it retrieves the motor and your yard haunt you worked so hard on falls beneath the vehicular onslaught that ensues.

I wish I were the ruler of this world and all others.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Omnipacadabra!

You are now the ruler of this world and all others.

You are made of wood, and stand exactly 12 inches tall, with little black hash-marks every 1/16th of an inch.

You are the standard by which all planets' civilizations measure thier lumber, twine, and football fields. Nuns throughout the galaxy stand in line to use you to whack the knuckles of disobedient catholic school students.

I wish they packed Monopoly games with real money.


----------



## Sinister

It is as you wish. Your Monopoly game comes packed with mint condition money to replace that ridiculous colored paper that usually comes with the game. Through some mysterious circumstances, the word gets out on the street that your game is decidedly different from others and that very night before you can enjoy the fruits of your success, some crackheads break in and steal the mother****er.

I wish I never got hang-overs when I drink.


----------



## Dr Morbius

PooF!

(Smoke clears)

You are now able to drink any kind of fluid and feel no effects.
You slam down pint-sized shots of Jaggermeister and can pound down a whole pony keg of beer.

JD, Myers rum, Bacardi, Smirnoff...You imbibe with reckless abandon, yet feel nothing!

Feeling no buzz, means no hangover.

Happy now?

I wish water had the same effect as alcohol.


----------



## Sinister

...And sometimes wishing makes it so; especially in this case. The world is now a wasteland that is littered with rotting corpses, wild fires and maximum carnage everywhere. Why? Well, since everything that you can drink has water in it, violent crime rates, DUI's, Flying under the influence, etc. has made safety a thing of the past. While it was all fun for awhile, was it worth it knowing you're the unwitting harbinger of doom just because you wanted water to have the same effect as alcohol?  

I wish I wasn't so damn tired right now.


----------



## grapegrl

Poor, sleepy Sinister...

Okay, I'll call in a favour from my pal Mr. Sandman. You don't want to be so damned tired RIGHT NOW...done deal. Five seconds from RIGHT NOW you will be tired to the point of collapse. Nighty-night!  

Here we go again:
Me, Hugh Jackman, a sandy stretch of beach at a luxury resort, perfectly beautiful weather...(what could pah-ssibly go wrong???  )


----------



## Mollins

okely dokely

you are at a beach luxury resort with hugh jackman, peacefully sunbathing when suddenly, jackman turns into Wolverine and i na frenzied attack, slashes your body into tiny little bits then cooks you and eats you.

I wish I was on first name terms (as in good friends) with all my favourite bands


----------



## Sinister

It is done. You are on a first name basis with all of the members of your favorite bands. Thye have OTHER names for you as well, names I'm afraid you won't like at all. In fact, they've given your name and photograph to every hall, venue and tour bus to have you removed from the premises on sight. You have so many retraining orders on you that you have to become a shut-in as you have no idea where you might tread that will put you in violation of those orders and inevitably in the pokey. 

I wish I didn't have to run so many useless errands just to sign up for school.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Fetchacapokus!


Your hatred for running so many useless errands just to sign up for school is a thing of the past! 

You no longer have to run them just to sign up for school, you have to run them to do EVERYTHING!

In fact since all of your time is spent running useless errands, you get nothing useful done at all. No school, no job, no money. You fetch empty coffee cups for your dog. You bring home sand and then just throw it away.

Insanity sets in, and just as you are about to kill yourself, you get the uncontrollable urge to go get 10 thousand water balloons and fill them with your boogers. This takes years, and you eventually starve to death.


I wish sharks were as tame as dolphins.


----------



## HibLaGrande

Walla walla washington!

Now the San Jose Sharks are as tame as the Miami Dolphins. The world goes on...unchanged. That,my friend, is messed up enough.


I wish for a lawn chair,a stiff drink and front row seats to pay witness to the end of all things.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Clapboardapoofus!


You now have a lawnchair in the front row of a movie theater in Hell. Good thing you have Bacardi and Coke, 'cause you are forced to sit through the ending credits for every movie ever made for all eternity.

I wish I knew how to sculpt in clay.


----------



## dougspaulding

You can and do - only problem is that Claymud's gastromic acids keep eating away at you until there's nothing left.

I wish I could get one of our scripts optioned for $500,000.


----------



## HibLaGrande

After years of leg work and countless agents you finally find a company to look at your scripts. and it only cost you a half a mil. After you hand over the cash to a fat sweaty man with beady eyes, you get the snappy reply "we'll get back to ya". 

I wish that the president and all the CEO's of Exxon/Mobil Oil company and their immediate family members would choke to death on their record breaking profits.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted.

That's it. Just granted.


I wish George W Bush got impeached.


----------



## Sinister

Since you were so kind to grant Hibla's request, I'll do the same for you Doc. No consequences, no harm to you and no wish going awry for simply not wording the request right. Nope, I'll grant this out of general principle, since it is one of the fondest wishes of the majority of suffering citizens in this currenthypocritical regime. This time, we heap a bit more misfortune than a simple impeaching, if you don't mind. GW has it coming. :devil:

The current pres is impeached under much controversy that not only stems from his many ****-up's that are out in the open, but those that aren't. His wife has been having an affair with freed murderer OJ Simpson, his daughters have been caught on camera by *60 Minutes* in the Oval Office servicing the secret service and imbibing in every type of recreational drug known to man. George it is revealed with irrefutable evidence, has been hiding Assama Bin Laden out at his mansion where the two play golf every Sunday, teeing off at 12 noon, sharp. He has also been evading paying his taxes and the IRS freezes his assets and confiscates all his belongings. Jobless, disgraced and destitue, he is reduced to becoming a rodeo clown on the weekends and a janitor at every abortion clinic in his home state during the week, just to pay the rent on his condemned, one-bedroom, flea trap flophouse apartment, that reeks of cat **** and stale cigarette smoke.

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.


----------



## colinsuds

Poof you dont! but unfortunatly Trixie the vampire crack head shows yup to take your place and burns down your building! You are then left withought a job.

i wish that trixie would go out with me


----------



## claymud

Poofamando!

Trixie the two tooth crack whore vampire goes out with you. But whats this Colin your potenial unoffical girlfriend finds out. Bad news for Colin because she has also convinced all her friends to convince all your friends not to talk to you. And to make matters worse Trixie the two toothed crack whore decides to put those two teeth to good use in your neck, thats quite a nice hicky there Colin if I do say so. 
Too bad you start a rampet revenge attack on everyone that ends in your horribal demise at the hands of your best friend and his good old wooden stake. Tixie adds another notch to her 'People I've killed list.'

I wish I didn't have to use that stake on Colin... he was a nice boy.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof

You didn't have to use the stake, so you didn't use it. Colin the Vampire and his new bride Trixie, have offspring that ravage Canada and turn the whole country into a vast wasteland...wait. Nothing seems different. Oh, well.


I wish everyone in the $20 prop building contest builds a Trixie prop.


----------



## claymud

In the prop contest everyone makes a Trixie prop... but her and her husband desend upon the lands everywhere casting spells and bringing them to life, now insted of Canada being a Vampire wastland North America has, there is hardly a drop of blood anywhere... OH THE HUMANITY!!!


I wish Batman would save us all!!


----------



## claymud

Dr Morbius said:


> Poof
> 
> ...wait. Nothing seems different. Oh, well.


Wait I just got that... very outch Doctor...very outch.


----------



## colinsuds

Batman comes to the rescue of the Canadians!!!!!! But little dow we know that batman and trixie are having an affair behind Colin's back! trixie then kills Colin using a stake she found near claymuds dead body. Batman (now a vampire himself) and trixie fly off into the night...

I wish The corpse Bride was a better movie then it turned out to be


----------



## claymud

Are you happy now Colin? The changes made to corpes bride only suited your peroses... no one else liked the movie's 'special Colin edition'. In fact they burned all traces of the movie and even... it new writter... DADADA

I wish I could find some good books at the used book store


----------



## Sinister

To colinsuds: *Corpse Bride* was directed by Tim Burton. 'Nuff said.

To claymud: Welcome to the club. I wish I could find some ever elusive books by Charles Grant, Michael Cecilione, Jack Ketchum and Scott Ciencin. I also wouldn't mind finding some rare tomes that were written by my buddy, James Newman.

As for your wish, CM: You find all you're looking for in the used bookstore there they sit just mere centimeters away...but sadly, the proprieter of the store informs you that they have been sold to another customer before you walked in.

I wish Coca-Cola was delivered by the truckload to my house on a weekly basis.


----------



## HibLaGrande

Fizzbang!

Every week the truck arrives with coca-cola... the crappy "new formula" that they tried to pawn off on people in the early 80's.Since the EPA would not allow the company to dispose of the toxic soda,the beverage giant was forced to store it with other forms of hazardous material including, but not limited to, plutonium rods. After keeping it in storage for the last 20 years,the Coca-Cola company is happy to have the extra warehouse space. 

(to be continued....)

Drink up!

I wish to finish this story at a later date.


----------



## Omega

Ah you finish the story but as soon as you finish your computer freezes up thus erasing the long tiresome progress you just made.

I wish that I had a million and one bucks all in two dollar bills


----------



## HibLaGrande

Your wish is my command

you are now the proud owner of 1 million bucks... How the stags got small enough to be wrapped up in two one dollar bills has scientists and zoologists around the world baffled.

I wish that I could make lots of money by selling kits that show other people how to make lots of money, by selling kits that show other people how to make lots of money, by selling kits that show other people how to make money...ect.


----------



## claymud

Well Hiba... you make millions, but you in turn have to buy millions of said kits because that is just how these pyrimid sceams work.

I wish that Tom Petty, Barenaked Ladies, Neil Young and Huey Lewis and the news all went on tour with eachother and I got free tickets.


----------



## TipoDeemin

Let it be so!

Tom Petty, Barenaked Ladies, Neil Young, and Huey Lewis launch a world-wide tour, and every show is incredible--worthy of a standing ovation. The event is heralded as the concert event of the decade.

And yes, on the day they're playing in your town, you receive free tickets... free tickets to see The Little Mermaid at the dollar theatre down the block from the concert.

I wish that I could afford to remodel my bathroom.


----------



## Michigal

You find a really cheap plumber. Unfortunately, he doesn't do too well and hooks up the hot water line to your toilet. Everytime you flush you burn your butt.

I wish I could find a new job closer to home.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Cokus pokus!

You are now a crack dealer.

You deal it from your home, which has become a crackhouse. Stinky, dirty carpets, holes in the walls and broken windows adorn your abode. Your best customer is....

Trixie, the two-toofed crack whore/vampire! You two become intimate and marry. During the consumation, you are converted to Vampiredom. You have crack babies who crave blood and can never see the light of day. While crashing out on whats got to be the dirtiest mattress in the world, the cops arrest you and raid your crackhouse. While hauling you to the police car in broad daylight, you sizzle into a pile of dust, leaving the handcuffs that once bound your wrists in the hands of a perpetully perplexed policeman.

I wish I could get more votes than krough in the 20 dollar prop contest!


----------



## DeathTouch

Well I am not a fairy but proof your wish has been granted. Presto Changeo now krough's stump is now yours and Wilfred now belongs to him. Sorry it was the only way I could think of, so you could beat him. The good news is your found out krough's secret for building awesome props. You find a "made in Japan" sticker on the bottom of stumpy. Go figure...


My wish is that the Chicago Cubs win the world series this year.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Batter up!


The Chicago Cubs win the World Series. Demons shiver, and Ice forms on the River Styx, because Hell just froze over.

I wish I had a flat screen plasma TV


----------



## Dr Morbius

You have a pair of steel toed boots and use them to kick your own ass.


I still wish I had a flat screen plasma TV.


----------



## Dr Morbius

abracaLEVI!!!


All the holes in your jeans have closed up..including the natural ones, which occured, quite conveniently while you were at a urinal at the local gas station, cutting off you upper torso, your feet, and..ahem..your manhood.

I still wish I had a flat panel plasma TV.


----------



## DeathTouch

Abbcadabra you get a flat screen plasma TV. Problem is Stumpy gets his own TV station and now is broadcasted on all the channels all the time.


I wish for a Happy Birthday on Sunday.


----------



## Dr Morbius

BLow out those candles!

You have the rip roaring happiest happy birthday ever!

Too bad its your last, because all that alcahol you drank that made your birthday so fun, was still on your breath as you blew out your candles..

The Burn unit said you would have survived the flames that engulfed your face if it weren't covered in cheap perfume those strippers had on when they gave you a "face dance".

I wish I had Tivo.


----------



## DeathTouch

Your Tivo magically appears at your house and all connected too. But since the government now regulates all TV recordings with a new chip in each TIVO, you can only tape one program. Ironically it is your son’s favorite show; Krough’s Playhouse and friends. Staring Kroughy, Stumpy, and lumpy. You get so depressed watching Krough’s Playhouse that you decide to change your Halloween forum names to Dr. Doolittle.

I wish happness for all my forum friends.


----------



## HibLaGrande

Ala ca webster
since I could not find a definition for happness, I will grant hippness to all your forum friends instead. now all your forum friends are hip, way hip, too hip to be hanging around with the likes of you.

I wish I would have turned in a better picture of my $20 prop.


----------



## Dr Morbius

You gussy your prop up in the sexiest lingerie you could afford, and set up a very seductive glamour shot of your prop. You post it, and get mixed reactions from the members here. A knock on your door opens to a representative from PPS (Prop Protection Services). You are arrested for prop exploitation, and you prop is taken to live at a foster home for sexually exploited props.

Your name is put on a national database for sexual prop offenders and you can't get a place to live, as no one wants a prop perv living near them. You die homeless and alone pining for your long lost crispy critter!

I wish my yard was bigger so I could have a bigger haunt.


----------



## DeathTouch

Wham a lam a ding dong your yard is the biggest thing since disneyland. The problem is it isn't in florida, more in New Orleans. You can probably guess what happens with your props. Most are eaten by gators. But you do have a great time at Mardi Gras.

I wish for The Alien trilogy for my birthday.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Happy Birthday!


Everything that happens in the (quadrilogy) happens to you today.

It would have been alot easier to blow out those candles without all that alien slime..(and your blood) all over you cake!

I wish I could finish my Tombstone today.


----------



## TipoDeemin

Oh, that's an easy one! Er... Shazzam!

You grab a piece of rebar, some duct tape, a cardboard box, and a magic marker, and set to work. You toil over your tombstone for hours as your wife and kids wait upstairs, knowing that something horrifying is being born in the basement. You miss dinner. You miss your favorite shows. You stay up several hours past your bedtime, knowing you'll be wiped out at work tomorrow if you do. But finally... FINALLY... your tombstone is done! You take it upstairs and hold it proudly out for all to see, and your family weeps, because it's _that_ beautiful. Then you take it outside to place in your yard so that you can take pictures for the contest, and you set up your lighting and stand back, readying your camera. The whole thing just looks so amazing and spooky you get chills just getting ready to take a picture of it. Then, as your finger touches the snapshot button but before you can press it down, the wiring for your lighting makes a loud popping sound and shoots several sparks onto your tombstone, which immediately goes up in flames. Lovely flames. Spoooooky flames! Thinking this may be just the extra oomph the tombstone needed, you take a picture... But lo and behold, the flames are so high they obscure the entire thing.

You enter the picture of the flaming tombstone in the contest, and claim that it was your intention all along. Zombie even lets it in, despite the obvious gimmick! And it gets plenty of votes... But you still lose to Krough's tombstone. 

I wish I didn't have an audit at work tomorrow.


----------



## DeathTouch

Wham Blam thank ya mam you go into work tomorrow and believe it or not you don’t have an audit. You are so excited you are about to burst. Of course you don’t have the same job either, and it’s a damn good thing your are already excited. Because now you are a fluffier in a porn movie. The good news you are insured now and you can stop using crest whiten strips.

I hope I don’t get my ass kick in the tombstone contest.


----------



## Dr Morbius

KaPOW!

Your entry into the tombstone contest cannot be beat..In fact, it has all the characteristics of EVERYONES tombstone ideas you stole from past postings...The members of the forum whos ideas you stole come to your house and pound on the door screaming for retribution..Through the glow of the torches they have in hand, you see a window through which you climb out of and make your escape. You avoid getting your ass kicked, but a well placed arrow from Heresjohnny's crossbow puts an end to your life. Through the toilet paper slung throughout your yard, Blackcat can be seen etching a new epitaph on your tombstone entry:
Here's lies a plageristic son of a bitch..
Now's he's lying in a ditch.


I wish I knew how to carve styrofoam


----------



## Dr Morbius

No one to grant my wish?


----------



## TipoDeemin

*Wish-granting noise*!

You step foot our your front door today, and someone throws a big black bag over your head. A couple of burly guys shove you into the back of a van and speed away with you. After a long and bumpy ride which involves lots of prodding and kicking from your kidnappers, you're unloaded, taken for a short walk, and then shackled to an uncomfortable metal chair. When your hood is removed, you find yourself in the midst of dozens of other people in the same boat, and they're all doing assembly-line carving on tombstone-sized pieces of styrofoam. That's right; you're about to learn how to carve styrofoam quite well, as that's what it seems you'll be doing for this shady company for the next several years. On the bright side of things, consumers like the "Help Me!" message you carve into your stones as it adds great atmosphere and spooks the kiddies, so you're well on your way to becoming employee of the month!

I wish I'd stuck around after the Rob Zombie concert long enough to get a t-shirt.


----------



## claymud

Oh you stuck around and got your free t-shirt alright. The only thing was it was possesed. That is right a possesed T-shirt. As soon as you put it on the t-shirt swalloed you whole. Too bad, nice looking shirt too, Oh well.

I wish that I could get over this writters block!


----------



## TipoDeemin

Alakazam! Your writer's block is gone, Clay. In fact, your mind is flooded by ideas! You sit down to type them up in your word processing program of choice, eager to get them all out while you're feeling so inspired... And you write, and write, and write... It's amazing, the way the words are just pouring out of you so easily!

When you finally stop and look back over your work, you realize that not only have you written an entire novel, but it's incredible--a real "page-turner." You're giddy as you move the mouse up to the "Print" button. You've done it! You've really written a novel, and you _know_ this one will get published!

And then, as you click the button on the mouse, you sneeze. Your hand jerks to the right, right on over to that fancy little X in the upper right hand corner of your screen. The program closes out, leaving you staring at your desktop wallpaper with only the faintest memory of your words still lingering in your mind.

I wish I had the funding to start my own music store.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Puzo-ca-pocus!

The mob was only too happy to lend you the money to open your music store.
At 200% interest they better be! Too bad, business has been slow. 2 weeks past your payment date, they "pay yooz a visit'. 

Since business was so bad, it wasn't untill two months later that the building landlady finds you hanging from a guitar string by the neck from the ceiling with a trombone slide bent around your arms and sheet music stuffed in your mouth. The flys are the only "music" that can be heard buzzing out a tune like a make-shift funeral durge.

I wish Beaded foam was better than extruded foam.


----------



## roadkill

POOF! Booger board is now the best on the market but because of the sudden glut in demand the price has increased 100 fold! Each tombstone you make will now cost you well over $1000.

I wish my ex weren't such a pain in the @$$!


----------



## Dr Morbius

Zap!

Your Ex has now stopped spanking you...you bad boy you.

I wish I invented Monopoly, the board game.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Wooosh!

You've created the most played board game in the world and when all the contracts were signed, Mattel released the game called MonoPony.
Needless to say, Hasbro came out with a similar game called Monopoly.

I wish I had 3 Wishes.


----------



## krypt

you get your 3 wishes but you mess up and say i wish i didnt wish for 3 wishes but......oooops too late you already wished

i wish for smartness


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

*Zinnger*

You are now a smartass... _ Opps!

_I wish I had a Pole Barn.


----------



## krypt

curious whats a pole barn?


----------



## roadkill

Kerbang! You have a pole barn.

After setting up your entire haunt in there, however, a whole pack of terrorized TOTs run into the main support beam bringing down the entire structure. You get sued for millions and spend the entire remainder of your life writing apology letters to the families.

I wish I had 30 acres to set up a year-round haunt with every kind of prop imaginable.


----------



## Dr Morbius

You set up your new haunt utilizing every prop ever conceived...even the mundane ones from prop storehouses at movie lots including but not limited to lamps, stuffed mooseheads, tables and chairs, ashtrays...the list is endless.

You have spent every penny you had on this trivial crap, and no one wants to see them. 

Oh, did I mention the 30 acres were on a swamp? Everything you put in your "haunt" has sunk into the murky bog.

You die broke and hungry.

I wish peanuts tasted like cashews


----------



## roadkill

Your wish is my command - peanuts now taste like cashews.

Sadly your family was heavily invested in peanut futures and a burgeoning peanut brittle business - of course no one is interested in cashew brittle so your entire family's fortune was squadered. You are now penniless but will live for years on cashew flavoured brittle.

I wish I could maintain or exceed my current annual income but only had to work on Halloween related project.


----------



## Bone Dancer

The hard core relegious groups win out and Halloween is baned. Sorry, back to the 9 to 5 rut.

I wish that Cementex would extend me unlimited credit for life. And while your at it ACC too.


----------



## roadkill

SPLORT! You have what you have asked for.

In a frenzy of corpsing Buckies and making foam-latex figures you find yourself inextricably attached to your latest creation. By halloween you find yourself being placed IN the display.

I wish Halloween would become a recognized national holiday and that those who put up displays are heralded as heros of the community.


----------



## BobC

Poof your wish is my command....Halloween is a national Holiday and people who do Displays are hearlded as heros of the community but only by Midgets and Crack whores that insist on giving you back rubs and making you the perfect Spamwhich with Mayo and Honey.

I wish the X-Files and Lone Gunmen were still on TV


----------



## Dr Morbius

Click!

You buy all the DVD's and watch all the episodes ever made of X-files and Lone Gunmen. Too bad you already saw them all.

I wish I were the next American Idol


----------



## krypt

your the next idol but you turn into she bangs she bangs fella's twin

i wish i had a new 3.2 engine for a 98 intrepid


----------



## Dr Morbius

kryptonoff said:


> your the next idol but you turn into she bangs she bangs fella's twin


 You need to make a wish, Krypt.


----------



## krypt

Dr Morbius said:


> You need to make a wish, Krypt.


i edited im sorry


----------



## roadkill

kryptonoff said:


> i wish i had a new 3.2 engine for a 98 intrepid


Your wish is my command.

Whilst driving your 98 Intrepid with that awesome new engine you manage to wrack up over 100 tickets. The judge decides to make an example of you and sentences you to 10 years in the slammer where you and bubba become "real good friends" (but there was something about a trade for a carton of cigarettes).

I wish latex, silicon, and other casting/mold making materials would never expire in storage.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Your sex toys last forever in the top drawer of your dresser.

I wish my wallet never ran out of cash, no matter how much I spend.


----------



## grapegrl

Dr Morbius said:


> Your sex toys last forever in the top drawer of your dresser.
> 
> I wish my wallet never ran out of cash, no matter how much I spend.


*BLING!!*

You are now the proud owner of a magic wallet! However, this particular model only cranks out Monopoly money. Have fun, big spender! 

I wish I had a Pembroke Welsh Corgi puppy!


----------



## roadkill

WOOF! You have your Welsh corgi.

And the little rabid bugger has chewed his way through ALL your furniture and pooped on everything in site. On Halloween the little terror took to biting all the TOTs leaving you with mounting lawsuits and medical bills.

I wish I had a workshop big enough to make and store all the props I could ever build and have all the tools I would ever need to build them.


----------



## claymud

Congragulations, you now have the biggest werehouse in the whole world... in fact you now have a werehouse that covers the entire world... everything and everyone has been crushed to creat you dream werehouse. Its only you, and you're pretty lonly... but at least you have all your props...

I wish that I had more time for all these assiments.


----------



## Sinister

Clay, your wish is granted! You have time to do those assignments, but due to some diabolical force at work, you do them all wrong and are forced to do them over and over for all eternity. How's that for time, bud?

I wish that my first book/screenplay is a hit.


----------



## slightlymad

Shaazaam, Your book/screenplay is a massive hit. However, your maid recieves all the aclaim as she stole it from you after you refused to share the steak tar tar.

I wish the time lords would visit


----------



## Dr Morbius

The Time Lords visit you..in prison.

I wish I had an unlimited supply of servos


----------



## roadkill

KAPOW! You indeed have an endless supply of servos.

Sadly, however, there are no power sources or controllers for any of them so they lay idle and unused. All your dreams of animatronics and robotics are in ruin at your feet.

I wish I could afford any prop, have all the resources to operate it, and never hurt anyone in doing so creating the ultimate haunted house where everyone is terrified but has lots of fun and leaves happy and smiling...


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ka-ching!

You have all those resources to build your haunted attraction. You bought every last prop and effect ever made to do so, and yes, every one loved it. Mostley because you forgot to charge them for admission, and you lost all your money. At least no one was harmed!

I wish I had a pizza.


----------



## DeathTouch

With the wave of my magic wand your pizza magically appears. And all the way from Florence Italy. Of course, we all know that Italy doesn’t have the best pizza, because the best comes from Chicago. So all you get is this dried out piece of bread with dried tomatoes on it. Your son takes one look at it and says, “I am not eating this crap!” and throws it on the floor, to which your cats won’t even eat it. But the good news is you didn’t have to tip.

I wish that my interest in building props would come back.


----------



## grapegrl

DeathTouch said:


> I wish that my interest in building props would come back.


*boomerrrrraaannnnggg!!!*

With a flick of my blonde ponytail, your interest in prop-building comes back--in spades! In fact, you are so interested in prop building you have no interest in anything else. After several weeks of building non-stop without eating, drinking, or sleeping you are a dehydrated, malnourished, sleep-deprived wraith. You would love a sammich and a nap, but gotta keep building those props!

Okay, here goes...just a simple request for the weekend:
 A pool, Hugh Jackman, and a pitcher of margaritas!


----------



## claymud

Well now you have a Hugh Jackman shaped pool full of magareta's... too bad it was featured on the news and the Hugh Jackman fan club and every Acohalic in a hundred yard radious. Too bad you can't get through the crowd to the pool

I wish that I could go on the Ships and Dip cruise with BNL.


----------



## roadkill

As you wish. You ARE on the _Ships and Dip_ cruise with BNL but discover only too late that you are VIOLENTLY prone to sea-sickness and spend the entire time either projectile vomiting on the band and their other guests or just hanging over the rail.

The cruise line charges you for all the cleanup - consequently you wind up penniless.

I wish I could easily duplicate ANY prop seen in ANY movie and have it function exactly as shown in the film, only in real life.


----------



## slightlymad

YES YES You have succesfully duplicated props as chosen. However, they behave as they would in the film and do many horrific things to you. 

I WISH I MAY I WISH I MIGHT THAT EVERY NIGHT WOULD BE HALLOWEEN NIGHT


----------



## Hella

~* wish granting noise *~

Everynight is Halloween night, but alas it is the same halloween night every night, you know the one where you had to dress up as one of the Care Bears and you gave out Toothbrushes to the TOT's and joyous of joy, your halloween yard display was made up of only characters from Charlie Brown and hte Great Pumpkin.

I wish we all lived in the same town.


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, we are all magically living in the same town .. only problem is, it's Baghdad, Iraq .. and we are all taken as prisoners of war and die a slow tortuerous death to then have the US come charging in 2 mins too late to save us.

I wish my car window wasnt broken​*


----------



## claymud

HAZA! your car windows not broken anymore. Its just mildly smashed. You can't really see out of it... so of couse while backing up you don't see the other car comming toward you....

Oh your fine, but your car... its totaled, never again shall it drive. Too bad.

I wish I had a ice cream cone


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, *POOF* an ice cream cone appears in your hand and you take a lick not noticing a brown recluse spider who bites your tounge which then falls off. Hey, atleast you survived .. you will just never taste your food again.

I wish it was fall year round​*


----------



## claymud

Gananzo! It is fall year round... After the last harvest there is no more food and people begin to starve. The fringe of winter lasts all year and people begin to freeze. And worse of all, School never gets out. Kids begin to rebel and scream bloody murder. Soon there is some serious loard of the flys action going on.

But at least the leaves look pretty.

I wish that friggin spider hadn't bit me and givin me these super powers... I just want to be normal!!!


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, your super powers are gone .. but so is any ability to function in everyday life as well. You now sit and drool in a corner looking at the wall wondering what your name is.

I wish I could live anywhere I wanted​*


----------



## Dr Morbius

Beelzapoof!


You chose to live in Hell...Why you chose to live there is beyond me. Oh well.

I wish Lightbulbs never burned out.


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, light bulbs never burn out, but all electricity has been used up so never ending light bulbs are mute 

I wish Dr. Morbius was more original ​*


----------



## roadkill

GRANTED! Dr. Morbius is now SOOOOO original he now comes up with ALL the new prop ideaa and any of them that you duplicate or "borrow" are merely looked at by TOTs who say "Humph! That OTHER guy has the REAL one - I've already SEEN this"

You have no more TOTs. Dr. Morbius is now fabulously wealthy (surpassing even Mr. Gates) and then (because he's so original) patents all his new prop ideas thereby making it illegal for ANY of us to decorate. He even patented lights in JOLs.

Consequently we all rebel against Dr. M. - and beat him within an inch of his life.

But he still has those damned patents!!! 

I wish the temperature never got above the 80s (farenheit) during the summer in Texas


----------



## Dr Morbius

SuFiKitten77 said:


> *Granted, light bulbs never burn out, but all electricity has been used up so never ending light bulbs are mute
> 
> I wish Dr. Morbius was more original ​*


What does that mean?

Anyways, on to RK's wish...

Texas is now the paradise you always wanted it to be. The climate in Hollywood pales in comparison, so all the movie moguls
move out there to make films in that wonderful weather for location shooting. Disneyland moves thier parks to Texas and everyone in the country moves out there. Real estate prices soar and the government snatches up all the land in imminent domain. You are kicked out of your home to make room for the new Whitehouse. You are forced to live in California, where the weather reaches 120 degrees F everyday, due to a strange radical climate shift.

I wish I had 20/20 vision


----------



## SuFiKitten77

**POOF* You know have the best vision in the world, and see so clearly that when the sun is up you must stay inside from the brightness. You get shooting pains in your head when looking at any light.

I wish time would stand still sometimes​*


----------



## claymud

GAZLOOGIES! Time stands still... nothing happens. Wow that was anti Climatic.

I wish that my name started with a lowercase C.


----------



## roadkill

And so it is Your name now begins with a lower-case "c" but the word it begins is very rude and you now go through your life insulting roughly half the world's population in a very singular way.

I wish I had a beer - right now. Oh wait! I do.

I wish I had no problems of any kind.


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, you now have no problems at all in your life .. but, now everyone wants to know your secret and they keep harassing you. You have a crazed fan come up to you seeking your knoowledge and when you say you became problem free by making a wish .. they pull a pen out of there pocket and stab you in the eye.

I wish summer wasn't so darn hot​*


----------



## Dr Morbius

Summer is now Winter.

I wish I was more original


----------



## krypt

dr you are now WAAAAy more original so oringinal is fact you dress in pink shoes and yellow shoe laces with red aglets if thats not oringinal i dunno what is.


i wish for for sinister's and DS's brain power


----------



## roadkill

Krypt - be careful what you ask for.

But - you said it - and now you have it.

You are now constantly afflicted with both the masculine and feminine mind-sets. You are perpetually confused and have been seen in public wearing hiking boots and capris! But hey! At least you have learned NOT to wear that black thong and bra under white clothes (and who wears white after labor day anyway?).

I wish I could get better organized


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, you are now the most organized person in living in a unorganized world, and after time you loss your mind due to this and jump off the top of a bridge.

I wish I didnt have to go out today​*


----------



## claymud

Razoomba! You don't have to go out today... but you do anyway.

I wish that I wasn't so toung tied around the opposit sex


----------



## krypt

HANG ON! rk! lol feminine mind-sets where did that come from


----------



## roadkill

claymud said:


> Razoomba! You don't have to go out today... but you do anyway.
> 
> I wish that I wasn't so toung tied around the opposit sex


KAPOW! You are no longer tongue-tied around the opposite sex. In fact you are quite loose-lipped. You now find yourself using EVERY cheesy pick-up line in the book. Your cheeks are sore from getting slapped so often.

I wish I could come up with a wish that couldn't get distorted.


----------



## claymud

You come up with the perfect wish, one that can't be disorted in anyway. This Thread dies... Thanks Roadkill, why would you do that?  

I wish Mondays didn't seem so friggin long...


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, Monday are now flying by and arent as long. But as a consequence, Tues, Wed, and Thurs now last forever and Fridays and Saturdays are over as soon as you blink. Enjoy 

I wish school wasnt almost over​*


----------



## roadkill

ZINGO! You have exactly what you ask for. School is not "almost" over - it will never, EVER end! Your friends find out about your wish putting them through eternal hell of going to school and never being qualified for a real career (since they're all still in school with YOU) and they have a good old-fashioned beat down in the school parking lot.

And just to think - your doctors to try to reassemble your mangled and broken body are still in school too!

I wish my time with my kids would never end so I could have as much time as possible to just be with them.


And, claymud, neener neener neener!


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, you now have forever to spend with them .. but, one night you are feeling frisky and want to have a quiet eveing with your special someone .. can't happen, your kids are now with you 24/7 and you go crazy and start banging you head on wall and pass out.

I wish certain things in my life would go away​*


----------



## Dr Morbius

CheesyPOOFS!***

Having not specified _which_ certain things in your life would go away,(hehe) you find yourself without hands, feet, ears, eyes, companionship, shelter, food, clothing and happiness.
You really should have been more specific.

I wish for eternal happiness that doesn't come from drugs or result in insanity to anyone including myself.


----------



## claymud

You get a nondrug indused happyness forever... but lets face it DR... people arn't generaly happy... So you eventaly get on everyones NERVES (Don't drive them insain) and they take vengance out on you for being so cheerful.

I wish I could solve my rubix cube...


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, you have now solved your rubix cube .. only thing is, you have spent your whole life in a closet working at it, and once you emerge into the light a passerbyer screams when they see your apperaence and it startles you and fall backwards out a window impaling yourself on a fire hydrant below.

I wish that my step mother would disappear.​*


----------



## claymud

Calabunga! Your step mother disiperes, no one know's where she's gone... So of course for posting your wish online you become a suspect. The intaragaters drill you for awsers and you finnily confess even though your innocent, you just want it to stop.
Ironicly in jail your stepmother reapperes... as your cell mate  

I wish that I didn't have math next class...


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, you will now have health class next where they will be discussing sexual eduaction using model's .. who look just like your grandparents 

I wish it never got over 75 degrees during the summer.​*


----------



## Hella

shazam
It never gets above 75 degrees in the summer, but summer is only 3 months long and now the other 9 months of the year the temperature is well over 100 degrees at all times and it's still considered winter so you have to wear a heavy coat too.

I wish that I was at the beach


----------



## grapegrl

*_surf city, here you come!_*

You are transported to a lovely beach. Lo and behold, you realize that it is a nude beach! Wait...looks like there are a couple of groups with rather large conventions going on here: _The Society for the Appreciation of Back Hair_ and _Active Octagenarians_! Did I mention that it is also Portugese Man-of-War jellyfish mating season?

Hmmm...I wish I had the capital to start my own business...


----------



## Dr Morbius

Kapoofy

You suddenly come into $25,000 which you use to invest in cocaine ( you didn't say _which_ business). Business booms untill you are busted for selling to Trixie the two toofed crack whore, who was busted and sang your name to the authorities. The cops confiscate your crackhouse and pimp-mobile and put them up for sale on Ebay.

I wish I didn't get chocolate in my peanut butter.

I wish


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, your peanut butter is now chocolate free. But said chocolate has melted on the floor and as you get up to leave the table you dont see chocolate and slip on it falling and cracking your head open and dying instantly.

Wish it was alittle warmer out today.​*


----------



## Hella

*Whammy* 
It's a little warmer out today, by 5 degrees, though tomorrow the temperature will only be 25 degrees.

I wish that I didn't get sunburned today.


----------



## krypt

Hella said:


> *Whammy*
> It's a little warmer out today, by 5 degrees, though tomorrow the temperature will only be 25 degrees.
> 
> I wish that I didn't get sunburned today.


BAM! you dont get sunburned and your so white you blind people from your reflection ......massive car pile ups people running into each other .....etc....

i wish i had car


----------



## Hella

bippity, boppity boo.
you have a car. It doesn't run, had no tires and the body needs to be totally re-done, but at least it's all yours.

I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow.


----------



## krypt

hey now i alreay have one of those cars  seriously


you dont have to work tommorow ...matter of fact your boss says dont bother comming back to work or anyone else thatw orks there ....your all fired.


i wish i had gold touch only when i needed to use it to make some gold


----------



## Hella

Thank you...I sometimes really wish that would happen Krypt..lol

Zing, Zap, Zing

you have selected gold touch, to use only when you need to make gold, everything else that you touch disinigrates.
Gold is also no longer an accepted form of payment for anything, so why you need gold is beyond me. Oh well, it's your wish.

I wish I could visit my friend right now.


----------



## Sinister

Since you never specified which friend, you visit each one of your friends simultaneously. This rift in reality throws everything off in such a way that there are multiple Hella's walking about in this world. Is the earth ready for such an event?  

I wish my screenplay was optioned right now for millions of dollars.


----------



## claymud

Congragulations Sin!! Your script was acutioned off for a million dollers... A million dollers from Yelclazacstan... worthless in America...

I wish that I had a boat...


----------



## DeathTouch

Oh Cladmud. Your wish has been granted. So you are riding the cool waves with all your guests above the U.S.S. Minnow. You are so proud while drinking a beer. But all of a sudden he weather started getting rough,
the tiny ship was tossed.
If not for the courage of the fearless crew,
the Minnow would be lost; the Minnow would be lost.
The ship took ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle,
with Gilligan, the Cladmud too,
the Millionaire, and his Wife,
the Movie Star, the Professor and Mary Ann,
here on Gilligan's Isle.

http://home.mn.rr.com/classictv/Gilligan'sThemeSong.html


I wish my tomstone gets done.


----------



## Sinister

You have the boat clay, and it's a very nice one. You just have the rotten luck of having a wish granted by an evil genie who likes to **** with people because he hates that such a task has been assigned him. The boat runs out of gas in the middle of the ocean, your sails are useless because the wind isn't blowing and you just happen to be stuck in the dead center of a Great White Shark feeding frenzy. The fish in question proceed to demolish your boat and you are eaten alive.

I wish I wasn't at such a crossroads of decisions right now.


----------



## claymud

Just because I'm a great guy I'll awser both questions...



DeathTouch said:


> I wish my tomstone gets done.


Your tombstone gets done! YAY! REJOYCE! Unfortanly it is put to good use when it is used for your grave...



Sinister said:


> I wish I wasn't at such a crossroads of decisions right now.


 You're not at a crossroads in your decisions right now... its more like a four way stop. You can't figure out where to go and what to do.

I wish I had done those wishes better...


----------



## Faustian_Pact

*Subject: Talking Dog for Sale*

This is for you Clay! 

Subject: Talking Dog for Sale

A guy is driving around Newfoundland and he sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog For Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks. "Yes, I do," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"

The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was
pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told CSIS about my
gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one
figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable
spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out,
and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down.

I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security
wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some
incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had
a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the Newfie says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that ****."


----------



## claymud

thats classic Faustian, but may just be in the wrong thread


----------



## Faustian_Pact

I couldn't resist Clay!  

Now,..back to the thread!


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Since no wish was made, I will start this up again:

I wish I didn't have a hangover today ​*


----------



## propman

Granted. I'll hold it off untill Oct. 31st.

I wish I owned scare factory.


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, you now own a very successful scare factory .. in fact, its so good three people have heart attacks on opening night and you are shut down for an investigation and arrested for in voluntary man slaughter.

I wish I had more hours in my day​*


----------



## propman

granted. 1 week now = 1 day. hope you can wait a few years for halloween.

I wish my new prop was easy to build, and I would not run in to 110 problems like I always do.


----------



## claymud

Your new prop is easy to build. Why? Because you just put some fake spiderwebs over a door. Your next prop though...

I wish I knew everything for the Exams...


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, you know are so smart that your brain has expanded the size of your head and while trying to get to exams, you are mistaken for an alien and shot down by the "men in black"

I wish today was over​*


----------



## claymud

Today is over... but because the magical mystical Genie's misheard you so Saturday and Sunday is over too and its monday....

I wish things this year had turned out a little diffrent.


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Hehe .. and you wish was what Clay?​*


----------



## claymud

SuFiKitten77 said:


> *Hehe .. and you wish was what Clay?​*


Lol, I totaly forgot that after so I fixed the post... should show my wish now


----------



## propman

"I wish things this year had turned out a little diffrent."
Granted. your hair in previous pictures is now 1/4 of an inch shorter.

I wish there was a shirt made that fit my personality.


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, they now sell a shirt that fits your personality .. sadly, it doesnt come in your size.

I wish I had new clothes​*


----------



## Sinister

You have the new clothes alright, but you have come to the most evil Djinn on the planet, and this wish isn't going to be granted to your satisfaction. None of the clothes match, they're products that the stores usually throw into the trash bin and write off. In fact, some of them are so bad that a bum on skid row wouldn't even consent to wearing them.

I wish I had a hamburger and french fries with a very thick chocolate shake and a large Coke to wash it all down with.


----------



## gypsichic

your wish for a moldy hamburger & fries and curdled shake have been granted

I wish I was off work already


----------



## krypt

ping pang pong! ...your off work already......and all your days end early and only 3 hour work days you cant afford food or water are starving cant build props .....or type much less your hanging on by a thread


i wish everybody has a great weekend


----------



## PrettyGhoul

*Your wish is granted. Where ever Haunt Forum members live the weather is perfect and weekend chores and errands are magically completed. Forum members are free to enjoy perfect weekends with family and friends building props so amazingly awesome that even the most unreasonable anti Halloween fanatics find themselves gushing over them in joy. Sadly, the wish genie feels the need to balance the natural order of things and kryptonoff is left alone in a semi catatonic state on a ratty, smelly, bumpy sofa staring horrified at an old, snowy TV set blaring the movie "House of the Dead" over and over and over again. 

I wish I hadn't wasted so much time procrastinating the last couple of days and gotten more work done.
*


----------



## Sinister

The evil djinn is here to once again grant you misfortune. You get the "more work done" you so desire. The trouble is, you can't stop working. Soon, you do nothing but work, you collapse from exhaustion and are taken to the hospital where you try to help the medical staff do their job taking care of you.

I wish I didn't have this horrendous head cold right now.


----------



## claymud

Congrats, you don't have that head cold... its a nasty fluy viris that stays around for a little more then a month.

I wish I could direct the JAWS remake insted of James Camron!


----------



## Sinister

The evil djinn here to grant a wish when one calls on him to do so. The *Jaws* project is yours! However, you **** so many people off because you were chosen above A-list directors, that one night you are kidnapped by cast and crew and thrown into the waters off Australia where you meet the real live species of Great White. He has spotted his dinner and it is one claymud. The theme from this movie you now curse in your waning seconds of life, drones through your head and now you know first hand what Susan Blacklinie's character must have felt like when you are dragged under for the last time.

I wish to be obscenely wealthy.


----------



## propman

SuFiKitten77 said:


> *
> I wish I had new clothes​*


Granted. You had new clothes, but now they are old.

I wish I could come up with a prank that could not be toped.


----------



## propman

Sinister said:


> I wish to be obscenely wealthy.


Damn. I had page 40 book marked. gues I should have checked to see if there where new ones. Oh well. my wish remains the same. 
Granted. you now have 1,000,000 dollers in obscene play boys.

P.S. GOD I FEEL LIKE AN ASS!


----------



## Sinister

That's because you are an ass, and that is the prank that cannot be topped. After all, how many people in the world can say they've magically turned themselves into a donkey? Because that's precisely what you have done to yourself with this wish.

I wish I wasn't nervous about this meeting.


----------



## gypsichic

badda bing badda boom! 

no anxiety for you..........ever...........too bad you're numb and have no feelings

I wish we had a swimming pool in our backyard


----------



## Hella

Zing ~ Zap ~ Zowie

you have a swimming pool in your backyard, only we're in a drought so you can't fill it with water. 

I wish that I could blink my eyes and be somewhere else


----------



## gypsichic

abra cadabara!!! 

you blink and instead of where you are you have landed in jail

i wish the weekend were just beginning instead of ending


----------



## Dr Morbius

Temporalmaphorsus!

Without specifying _which_ weekend were just beginning, you find yourself at the very first weekend of the universe, where you meet God on the seventh day of creation. Flabbergasted, you ask Him what happened. He tells you that He just created a Man named Adam, and you are to become his mate. You nervously pluck an apple from a tree and share it with the naked guy, where you become the object of God's wrath. He turns you into a pillar of salt, nevermind the biblical inaccuracy of it all.

I wish for a plasma flat screen HD TV.


----------



## gypsichic

hocus pocus alla kazam! 

a plasma flat screen "HD" TV has magically appeared on your wall........however you didn't specify what exactly 'HD' stood for......looks to this evil genie like is stands for HIGH DOLLAR........therefore draining your bank account w/costly repairs 

I wish I was scuba diving instead of working


----------



## SuFiKitten77

*Granted, you are now scuba diving but fail to notice the great white behind you and it quickly eats you up. So much for relaxing ..

I wish I had more money​*


----------



## gypsichic

badda bing badda boom! 

your bank account overflowith with moolah..........too bad the feds are looking for you due to a bank being robbed for the exact amt that magically appeared in your acct

i wish i could stay up late again tonight and work on halloween props


----------



## Hella

Done
you stay up late tonight and work on halloween props, but you have used up all your creativity and find that you have nothing else to work on for the rest of the year.

I wish I owned a haunted castle


----------



## gypsichic

presto chango! 

you are now the proud owner of a haunted castle.........w/ a minor catch
seems that you become a prisoner in your own castle and cannot escape the wrath of the ghosts.........driving you insane

I wish i was still riding my harley this morning


----------



## claymud

Gallamazombo! Well you riding your harly and the wind is whipping through your hair, you are one, at peace with the world because its whipping by you at incredibal speeds. But while driving you run out of gas... didn't you know to fill the tank?
Now your stuck in some deset somewhere. At least you had some time on your harly.

I wish that Exams were over and I passed them all!!


----------



## gypsichic

lmao.........actually i've had that experience........not in the desert thank god though

shazam! exams are done & over............you passed all of them...........howeverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr............you find out the instructor screwed up on one of them and you have to retake it in 1 month

I wish I was having breakfast w/my girlfriends


----------



## Hella

~*~twinkle twinkle ~*~

you are having breakfast with your girlfriends, it consists of Rocky Mountain Oysters, Tequila Worms, Fried Crickets and a wonderful mixture of Grog! Yummy.

I wish I had more closet space


----------



## gypsichic

lmao

ding dong the witch's dead!

you have more closet space.........too bad you have no shelves, racks or carpeting.............its just a bigger box

i wish i had an endless supply of money


----------



## Hella

~Swizzle sticks~

you have an endless supply of money....monopoly money and no one wants to play with you anymore because you own the whole board. 

I wish I could finish my tombstone before June 30th


----------



## gypsichic

shiver me timbers..............

that tombstone of yours is done however it has your name on it because you worked yourself to death getting it finished by june 30th!

I wish it was fall


----------



## Dr Morbius

It is now fall..on Jupiter. Good news, it'll last for 6 years.

I wish I ruled the Earth


----------



## claymud

Kazooplydoo Dr Morbius you now rule the earth. No one minds really because you make good choices... until you declare Halloween once every month and prop building challanges all the time. Lets face it you just pissed off religious groups. They forget all about how you brought world peace and the like and begin a religious war on you.
Nothing really happens though (Murdur is a sin so....) that is until they higher J... who is J you ask? He is a man made of 87% Jello and can do anything they ask. He discises himself as your lunch and once inside you body... well its not very pleasant. 

I wish that daytime Tv was better...


----------



## gypsichic

bling blang..........daytime tv is better - problem is you bazoo is permantly stuck to the couch!

I wish i was home working in my shop instead of here at work


----------



## Dr Morbius

Kapow!

You are at home, working in your shop. You called in sick to do it, but here you are.
You make the finest crack cocain in the county, in your shop. People come for miles around to buy your product.

The news makes it's way to Trixie, the two toofed crack whore, who tells her Pimpin' sugar-daddy to bust a cap in your operation before all the customers are gone.

While your home is turned into the grossest crackhouse on the planet, the smell of burnt glass pipes and rotted urine soaked mattresses leads your neighbors to call the authorities.

The bull-horn can be clearly heard from your front lawn, blasting commands from the local DEA to _come out! With your hands up!_

Panic ensues. The sunshine through broken windows glint off the granules of instant gratification coating razorblades and syringes which dig into your bare feet as you make your way toward your back door.

The smell of freedom is almost overpowered by the stench of unwashed crack addicts tiling your floor, a mosaic of desperation and crushed souls, whom you hurdle like some kind of annhorexic track star. The finish line tape crossing your chest is the burely arm of Trixie's Pimp-daddy.

You regain consciousness just in time to see a double barrel shot gun paint your face in the latest shade of red.

I bet you wish you went to work eh?

I wish for all the free pizza I can eat.


----------



## Dr Morbius

No one to grant my wish? (sob)....


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

Cry no more as you wish has been granted, Alakazam! You now have all the free pizza you desire unfortunately it comes from a chinese take out restaurant so even though have an endless supply, you must perpetually keep eating as you get hungry for it every 30 minutes and eventually fall into an MSG coma.

I wish I had super powers!


----------



## grapegrl

*Holy super powers, Mr U!*

You now have the ability to temporarily stun your opponents with your "Sausage Slinger" and can communicate telepathically with earthworms!

I wish I had a fantastic singing voice...


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

I shall use my newly acquired super "Sausage Slinger" to grant you this wish grapegrl.

rapple-dapple! You now have the ability to sing like Barabra Streisand, unfortunately you can only sing in arabic.


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

I wish I hadn't forgot to put the wish in......

wango-de-tango! I wish that someone would always do my yardwork for free


----------



## gypsichic

ping pong! 

your yard is done for free from now on...........too bad the lawnboys don't speak english and their equipment is not maintained well.........not to mention they have no clue about fertilizer & end up using entirely too much in spots burning your lawn. They don't know how to use a weed eater right either and your edging looks like someone used a chainsaw. Their mowers are constantly breaking down so you have half your lawn mowed at various times and the other half not. 

I wish i had my new flowerbed full of flowers


----------



## Dr Morbius

ssssssss....*'ear!*

Your flower bed is budding nicely...yup, full of buds. Pure colombian sensimllia, which attracts the attention of a passing cop. I hear they have nice books about flowers in the prison library!

I wish I could write a best selling novel.


----------



## gypsichic

lol.........man first i end up w/a crack house and now this!

walla walla bing bang!

you have written the #1 best selling novel on the list..........you are on the top of Oprah's must read list even..........too bad the fame and fortune have warped your mind to point of madness.........you can't handle the fans and constant attention.......you become a recluse never being able to enjoy the rewards of such hard work

I wish i had new lawn furniture


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

Bing , Bang, Boing! Your wish has been granted!

Your furniture comes complete with chairs, a table, umbrella, and cushions. Sadly though, your furniture is on the front lawn of the White House and you are immediately taken into custody by the secret service and are currently being held for further questioning.

Oh please, Oh please......I wish I had a new car!


----------



## gypsichic

taaaaaaaaadaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

you have a brand spankin new car sittin in your drive

too bad its just the frame and body - no guts or interior!!!

i wish I was laying on the beach


----------



## Sinister

Your evil genie has been summoned and is now answering your call. You are now laying on the beach. You are laying and can't get up, what's more no one can hear or see you and the sun is awfully hot. In this condition you burn away like a Vampire under its oppressive heat within a few days time.

I wish my job as far as re-writes was through for now.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Swish.....
Your wish is granted....
Your re-writes are finished, though, it was very unfortunate that the ended up between the butt cheeks of the evil movie production executives and flushed.

Sorry Ken, it was this or a Disney twist?

I wish Halloween was 365 days a year.


----------



## Hella

done
halloween is 365 days a year, leaving only one day every 4 years to build props, but everyone is so burnt out by then with the stuff it takes to just run the haunts that they sleep the day away and no-one ever has anything new to use in their haunts. What kind of wish is that! Thanks so much Jeff!

I wish I lived by a lake


----------



## TipoDeemin

Presto!

You now live by a lake: Crystal Lake. There's even a nice 'lil camp nearby! Little tough to sleep at night with all the screaming and murder, though...

I wish there was a wax museum within a 15-minute or less drive from here.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Zap!

There is an interesting House of Wax that magically appeared on your street. Problem is, Paris Hilton is always knocking on your door to come out and play there. 

I wish my cat never got fleas


----------



## grapegrl

*_what's new, pussycat?_*

Your wish is my command, Morbie! Kitty no longer gets fleas. However, Kitty now has a constant, rip-roaring, stomach-churning, nose-hair-curling, absolutely rancid case of gas. You swear you can hear the little stinker snicker every time he/she lets one rip.

I wish I had a trusty and loyal werewolf henchman.


----------



## Sinister

Your evil genie grants your wish of a trusty werewolf henchman that looks uncannily like Hugh Jackman when he's not all hairy. He does all the work around the house for you with his shirt off and guards the place better than any watchdog could ever hope to. Alas, never forget, HE IS a werewolf after all and victim to bestial appetites when he is in wolf mode. He kills many people during these times and eventually, the police track his whereabouts to your place. He is apprehended and sent up on murder charges and you go right along with him as an accesory. You then spend twenty years in prison wondering if a faithful lapdog that looks like someone you admire was really worth it all.

I wish it would rain here.


----------



## gypsichic

your wish has been granted..............it has rained there..............too bad it hasn't stopped..........the streets flood, the water consistently rise to your door.......you have to crawl on your roof in hopes of rescue

I wish i was still home sleeping


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Zap.....
You are now home sleeping. You find that sleeping nude is very relaxing and in a deep dream.

Upon awakening you have realized that you were day dreaming and now find yourself butt naked at work....

I wish I had a flying Broom.


----------



## Sinister

A flying broom you say? A flying broom you now have. Not much you can do with it, however, because it's one of those small whisk brooms. Good luck trying to ride that sucker. 

I wish for a continent full of people ready to help me realize my dreams and aspirations for world conquest.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

ding a ling.....

You are amazed to find yourself on a small deserted island. You notice that that there are 100's of people standing on a glorious beach. As you approach the crowd a cold shiver runs down your spin. You've realized that they are burning the only boat that could remove you from this island.
As you tapped the shoulder of the person in front of you all of the remaining people turn to look at you.
You discovered that you are trapped on an island with 100's of you...

Is wish for a magic carpet ride.


----------



## Sinister

While the Evil Djinn composes himself thinking about a mere mortal riding an enchanted rug, he grants your wish. The rug gives you quite a scary ride to Baghdad, where the myth originated most likely, and you get dropped off right in the middle of a street that is under heavy fire from Al-Quaida while your ride zips off to safety.

I wish Ol' Dubya wasn't president anymore.


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

Alakazim-alakazam! Your wish has been granted! George W. Bush is no longer the President of these United States. But misfortune finds you this day as ol' George W. was assinated by a mob of angry haunters and now Dick Chaney is running the show. But who are we kidding he's been pulling the strings of puppet Bush for 7 years now anyway.

I wish I had more time.


----------



## gypsichic

ask and it shall be received from the mighty gypsichic

you have nuttin but time on your hands..........no job, no spouse, no kids, no pets, no tv, no internet, no phone...............just time

i wish i was debt free


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Shazammmm......
You are now debt free.....you have no house, no job, no spouse, no kids, no pets, no tv, no internet, no phone just one box.

I wish for a genie in a bottle


----------



## Sinister

You have this genie in a bottle and boy is he pissed! Unfortunately for you, the puny confines of glass cannot hold an entity who has walked in the spaces between the stars. I break free and make your time spent in Iraq where i dropped you off, seem like a vacation on a tropical island compared with the hell's you will find yourself in now. Just imagine if you will, locked in a room for a year with no window, no doors and food served to you through a slot and the rest of your time listening to Barry Manilow on an endless loop day and night with that insipid song, _Mandy._ And that is just the beginning and the lightest of your torments! Bwa-hahahahahaha!

I wish I was in Vancouver.


----------



## Hella

BAM
You are in Vancouver. Where the scenery is gorgeous, it rains often, you have a great little place right on the lake, you are writing up a storm, you have someone special to share it with, everything is perfection. 
Beep Beep Beep. that's your alarm clock waking you up, you are still in Oxnard CA, where it never rains and all you see for miles and miles is cityscape and your woman is halfway across the country.

I wish had a dragon


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

zippity do zippty da! Your wish has been granted. You now have in your possession a dragon! Unfortunately it is a hidden dragon that is hiding from a crouching tiger and can not be seen.

I wish I lived on Venus!


----------



## Sinister

Granted. Simply granted. Enjoy the sulfiric acid rains and 1000 degree temps.

I wish my neck didn't hurt.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

whippity zing.....
You're neck no longer is sore since the doctor has removed it.
Now your lower lower back aches all the time because you have to twist you body from side to side to look both ways to cross the street.

I wish I owned every horror movie that was produced


----------



## gypsichic

BAM! 

you now own every horror movie produced..........toooooooooooooo bad none of them have sound!!!

I wish I was home playing with my dog


----------



## Sinister

You think you're at home, wish granted, playing with your dog, but you realize all too late that it's acually the annoying kid down the block and he's a werewolf. When he transforms, he looks exactly like your dog and he remembers that you don't like him, so he shows no mercy as he's gnawing on your leg.

I wish I had a Coke


----------



## Hellrazor

ABBRA CaDABBBRA, here is your coke, but you take it with pop rocks not realizing the danger, your insides burst and bugs come crawling out your belly button....

I wish I had a new car


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

ShaZam!
You have a new car, well it's new to you... A yugo!








And it sits at the bottom of Lake Michigan....

I wish I had a beer!


----------



## Hellrazor

Thats nasty! Zap!

You have a beer, but its a Canadian beer, and unfortunatly your tolerance for alcohol is not high enough for one of our quality Canadian Brewskis. You drink to excess and kiss on some pretty girl...only she turns out to be sinister.... wow, you are kicked out on the street by your wifey and become a miserable drunkard....

I wish I had a Giraffe in my back yard.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

That was a simple wish, damb it!
Well, at least he looked like a hot chick! lol


----------



## gypsichic

your wish is my command!

alakazoo alakazam!

you now have a full grown giraffe in your backyard.............eating your trees, plants and grass..........leaving giant piles of giraffe poo all over your yard. The neighbors wake up to seeing this strange sight and are mortified........calling the authorities who show up at your door wanting to investigate your home.

I wish we were spending the weekend at the lake


----------



## Sinister

You spend the weekend at the Lake...Camp Crystal Lake, and though I know nothing of the folks you take with you, I'll just bet all of them have broken the Horror Movie Rules somewhere in their past. Keeping that in mind, I'm sure you're not at all surprised when all of your people are slaughtered and you are the only one left and you are face to face with a zombified serial killer sporting a hockey mask and machete. :voorhees: 

I wish I were still asleep.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Swish....

You are now fast asleep never to awake until you are kissed by a prince.
(Now it's too bad you're not a hot chick anymore!)

I wish I weren't wearing DeathTouch's underware.


----------



## gypsichic

lol............lovely ........... just lovely

wished granted!

you're asleep alright.............too bad you're in a deep sleep called a coma

i wish i had new living room furniture


----------



## gypsichic

since FE beat me to granting Sin's wish I will grant his wish..........muhahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

you are no longer wear DT's undies.............instead you are wearing a leapord print g-string ...............only.............and find yourself in public

i wish i was eating stuffed french toast


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

easy one!

Granted!

You are now enjoying a great breakfast chewing away at your french toast stuffed with DeathTouch's underware. EWwwww!

I wish my Huanted House was already built.


----------



## gypsichic

lmao............funny!

bing bang bam! 

your haunted house is built............but guess what??? your GC forgot to get a building permit.........soooooooooooo the city says "sorry you'll have to tear it down, get a permit, and rebuild it!"

I wish I could afford to own a yacht


----------



## Sinister

The Evil Djinn grants your wish of being able to afford a yacht. However, when you have money in hand you forget what it's there for and wind up blowing the whole enchilada on frivolous things. You only come to the realization what the money was there for in the first place when the last penny is spent. Unfortunately, by then it is far too late to do anything about it.

I wish the good Lord would spare me from psychos the rest of my life.


----------



## Hellrazor

Bada Bing Bada Boom

Your wish is granted, you no longer have to deal with the Psychos in your life,,, you no longer have to deal with anybody, you are the last man on earth, no one to give your screen play to, no one to direct it or watch it.... Too bad too, cuz it was pretty good....

I wish I wasnt at work.....


----------



## Sinister

You aren't at work any longer you are now at some place less pleasant and that is...ah...um...what can be more unpleasant than work? Oh, I got it! Iraq! Yes, that will do!

I wish I had some more KFC. Yesterday was just not enough.


----------



## Hellrazor

Shazam! You have more KFC but the rumers are true and the KFC you are now eating is Chicken biproducts and cloned chicken parts... You cant stop eating it and it ferments your intestines causing nausious gas. No one will come near you and Hella even decides not to visit anymore...

I wish it was 4:30 pm so I can get on with my weekend...


----------



## gypsichic

the Genie Gypsichic has granted your wish..............

it is now 4:30 pm & your weekend has began..........unfortunately during your time warp travel you ended up in Anartica.........its -40 below........a blizzard is predicted for the next 4 days and you are there alone

I wish i had a new harley


----------



## Sinister

You have a new Harley, courtesy of Evil Djinn Enterprises. We do not take returns of any kind, so we accept no responsibility for it's inability to run. To be fair, you didn't specify one that would actually work. 

I wish I were "back home" at one of my favorite natural resting spots.


----------



## Hella

shaZam...
you are "back home" where ever the hell that is at this favorite natural resting spot....oh look a hurricane :devil: you are blown away by the power of the storm and lannd in the most densly populated city on the planet and your favorite place was damaged beyond recognition so you can't ever find it again. so sorry.

I wish i had tomorrow off from work


----------



## Hellrazor

Abbra Cadabra....

You wish is my command, you do have the day off tomorrow, infact your boss just called and you have the rest of you life off from this job. You are owed no back pay and no vacation pay....

I wish I were more talented...


----------



## Sinister

Alakazam and all that jazz! Your talent has become such that when you make Halloween props, draw, write or do anything creative, it literally takes on a life of it's own and starts killing everything around it. The police are alerted to this disaster when a murderous scarecrow they know you made, tears into the precinct and wreaks a bloody path of destruction before it's finally brought down with a flame thrower. The cops arrive with what's left of their forces at your house where they proceed to embark on one of the most bizarre stand-off's in history. Your creations fight valiantly for you while you cower inside, afraid to come out even for much needed supplies during this siege, but cannot for fear of being shot. Now, don't you wish you weren't so talented? 

I wish I were a little more focused these days.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Neat story idea there Sin?

Kinda a puppet master, house of wax thing ....


----------



## Sinister

Frighteners Entertainment said:


> Neat story idea there Sin?


Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind...

Maybe I can even have a few characters named Courtney and Jeff in honor of inspiration for said idea, hm?


----------



## Hellrazor

ooh ooh I want to be a character!!! 

(hair twirling like Jeanie) 

You are now more focused. so focused you are pumping out stories, screenplays and props for halloween. YOu are so focused though that you do not see yourself wasting away to practically nothing, your heart starts shutting down and your lungs ache, but you do not notice because your focus on your work is too strong... the air conditioning in your unit breaks down and your body is literally melting into the carpet..... hella comes to visit after weeks of no calls and finds ...... nothing...... a stain on the carpeting and unfinished work... 

But there is a good side, she makes it rich off of your work and you look down on her satisfied with the work you have accomplished....

I wish we had 3 days off per week regularly


----------



## Hellrazor

OK looks like my messed up wish list was too detailed... here goes again

Twirling hair like Jeanie: 

You are now more focused. So focused you cannot focus on anything else. You laundry doesnt get done so your socks and under disinergrate, and you dishes pile up with green fungus. But your work is done. When you go to hand it in you have nothing to wear and cannot get out of your place cuz the green fungus has taken over the kitchen...

I wish my grass would not go brown this time of year


----------



## Sinister

Nothing too detailed at all. Your Evil Djinn just has been busy spreading mischief elsewhere that he hasn't had the time to visit this thread, but now you have put in the call twice, he returns with a vengeance.

Since you are allowed one wish, it is not within my power to grant two. But your luck it would seem is just downright bad and it will be my pleasure to combine them. You get your three day weekends and all your time is spent taking care of that lawn, making sure it is green. Day and night you toil, perusing EVERY blade of grass. All of your free time as well is consumed in this project, and you spend your working hours obsessing over it. Eventually, you are driven insane because it has become your one focus in life and they lock you away in a nice padded cell where you still are thinking about that green lawn and drawing it with the green crayola's they give you on every possible surface. Not surprisingly,you check those drawn blades of grass with the same fervor you did with your own lawn. Thank god someone had the foresight to inhibit you from going outside to chill with the rest of the patients on the lawn of the hospital, or your already fragile mind would surely snap.

I wish I had a damn good Philly Steak and Cheese sandwich.


----------



## Hellrazor

Funny thing is I am borderline that personality when it comes to my grass. Ive been know to take tweezers and get my knees a little green when it comes to it. Not this year though.....I better watch out, I dont want my life to come to that! LOL

Ka ZAM! One damn good Philly Steak and Cheese Sandwich for you... and you are enjoying it soooo much, its the best you have ever tasted... but its not made with US beef and no Alberta Beef (since it cant cross the boarder) so you find out that its beef from England, the "mad Cow" beef... you worry and worry, now that sandwich just doesnt taste right now does it.... You skin starts to crawl and you feel nausious... is it the beef or is it your imagination...only time will tell......


I wish I had a closet full of cute shoes....


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Poof!

You have closets and closets of cutes shoes, shoes of blue, black, brown and green. Yes green.
Pairs for Monday, Tuesday , Wednesday and on...
For Birthdays and Weddings and Dining and more.

But of course, the only thing missing is the right size for you.

I wish I had the perfect costume.


----------



## gypsichic

do i hear someone wishing for the perfect costume?

since you didn't specify what exactly the 'perfect costume' for you was........i had to guess

BAM!

you now have the perfect costume - posing as an underware model.........you are wearing a leopard print speedo and working the room w/your runway walk

i wish I had a new jeep - that runs


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Your wish is granted!

You have a new jeep and it runs great. It runs and runs and runs....
It never stops running......
You fuel bill is more expensive than your auto payment.


I wish for a ghost


----------



## gypsichic

well looky here............the Genie Gypsichic has been summoned once more

poof! you now have your personal ghost...........trouble is only you can see her.........and boy is she a pain in the ass..........always getting you in trouble
she keeps you up at night w/her poltergeist ways and is constantly harassing you in public.........makes you look crazy cuz you talk to her outloud in front of folks!

I wish I had a beach house


----------



## Sinister

You have the beach house, gypsi and it's one of the ones left over from the destruction of Hurricane Ivan. You have mere minutes to let it register that you've been had, before a Caterpillar bulldozer comes along and starts pushing the debris away.

I wish I was with my woman.


----------



## gypsichic

ahhhhhhhhhhhh summone again i see.............

badda bing badda boom!

you are with 'your woman' 

however not only are you with her but you two are together all the time
never giving each other space..........so you end up suffocating each other and the relationship

i wish i could be visiting my grandmuffin on her birthday


----------



## Hellrazor

POOOFFF you are going to visit your grand "muffin". I hope it was a muffin you wanted to visit - its an oat bran muffin with apple... yum and you get to visit it the same time every year... it was made July 4, 2006.... r u going to eat it???

I wish I had a large black Tim Hortons Coffee right now.


----------



## Sinister

You have your hot, black as midnight cup of Tom Horton's the way you like it, except for one small ingredient. You see, there's a disgruntled employee at the plant who just happens to be a moonlighting chemist with a vendetta against the world. This wonderful man has created a highly concentrated, tasteless, odorless laxative which he has mixed in generous doses in your favorite brand of coffee. This doesn't come to light until much later, but by then you have **** yourself to death and all before you had a chance to finish your coffee.

I wish it would rain.


----------



## gypsichic

do hear a call for rain? 

the sky has opened up and now it is raining.....................A HARD, FAST, HORIZONTAL TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR!
the ground can't soak it in fast enough, it begins to flash flood..........your car is swept away, your yard is a lake and your house is flooded.........your furniture and computer is afloat.........you are forced on the roof.......where you are stuck in the pouring rain waiting for help

I wish i was in hawaii


----------



## Sinister

Hawaii it is...right in the middle of the largest typhoon in recorded history. It is so catastrophic that when it is at last debated, you and the Hawaiian islands are no more. Sorry, better luck next time...

I wish I had all of Bill Gates' money.


----------



## gypsichic

just my luck Evil Djinn! lol

well look at that! your bank acct now has Bill Gate's money in it..........unfortunately he notices...........lol
hunts you down like a dog and throws your ass in jail for taking his moolah

i wish the Evil Djinn would grant really GOOD wishes


----------



## Sinister

This is a very simple request. I will just make good the wishes I have and let everyone take the bad ones. Wish granted!

I wish I had all of my friends and loved ones living in the same neighborhood as me.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Easy as well.
I'm now your neighbor and I have consumed all of your beer.
Hey what are friends for?

I wish I had more beer!


----------



## gypsichic

presto chango...............all your friends and loved ones are living in the same neighborhood as you.........even the ones that get on your last nerve

your house becomes grand central station where all gatherings take place for all occasions every year from now on

you aren't left with a moment's peace! you can't even go pee without a friend or relative coming to your door or calling you

I wish it was only 70 degrees out instead of 95


----------



## gypsichic

are you following me FE???............lol


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

gypsichic said:


> are you following me FE???............lol


You know have 15 seconds off your post times and you're still having problems LOL


----------



## gypsichic

stop laughing at me................lol

where's my granted wish Mr. Icantypefaster


----------



## Sinister

It's 70 degrees outside...in the Virgin Islands, but sadly, it's still 95 outside where you live.

I wish I had the rest of my CD's and DVD's up from Florida with me.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy the genie here to grant your wonderful wish pooh*faaa

Your DVD's and CD's have arrived, terribly sorry they were delivered by the postal system.
The carrier had put your collection on the dash board ant the hot California sun has melted your entire collection.
You should have had insurance...

I wish I could always have another wish...


----------



## Hellrazor

BOOLLLAAAAAHHHHH

You can always have another wish and another and another.. that doesnt mean the evil Genie has to grant them.... or grant them well that is...
The sad part about this wish is, you MUST now wish for everything you receive and your wishes may not come in the form you want them. You must now WISH for Food, water, shelter, sleep....Otherwise you will always be in limbo.... watch out for the evil Djinn Genies Sinister and Gypsi cuz they vow to take advantage of this... Heres hoping you like your grantings.....

I wish I had 5 weeks holidays this year....


----------



## Sinister

The holiday vakay's are now yours, my dear! You have loads of time for Christmas, Halloween, New Years and what ever other days they celebrate in Canada. The trouble is, you spend all that time doing unenviable tasks, getting involved in absolute disasters and slaving for others who do not appreciate the efforts being put forth for them by you. After about the third holiday week, you are already hating it but alas, it WAS YOUR WISH and it's far too late to turn back. So enjoy the time you have off when you are emmersed in some back breaking work.

I wish Sunday would hurry up and get here.


----------



## gypsichic

wish granted!

sunday is here already............tsk tsk...........wishing your life away is not a good thing..........you lost 2 whole days..........in those days you WOULD HAVE won the lottery..........but in your hurry to get to sunday that opportunity was lost forever! so sorry

I wish i lived in the country instead of the city


----------



## Hellrazor

Taaaa daaahhhh!!!

Your wish is granted... you are now living in the beautiful spacious country... Yes I said spacious... so spacious in fact you are miles and miles (about 300 in fact) away from the next town, villiage, or even a corner store. You need to bring cans of gas with you wherever you go but when you get to the city to buy it, you use it all up by the time you get home so you are always stranded somewhere.....
Hope you enjoy your country life, out there with your family and the animals... oh I didnt tell you about the animals????

I wish I ran my own Halloween Store


----------



## Sinister

Evil Djinn here to whisk you away to the country. You literally live in the country with no social amenities like a house, air conditioning, TV, radio, a car etc. This wish occured in July and I have set you down in Florida. You'll just LOVE all the natuarl settings like, scorching temperatures, gnats, hurricanes, mosquitoes and pine trees as far as the eye can see. Aaahhhh, good, clean, country livin'! 

I wish I had the same wish but with the foresight of wishing for modern luxuries gypsichic forgot to ask for.


----------



## gypsichic

lmao..........man you two are killin me w/the country living!

poof! you are living in the country w/modern luxuries...........you however become obsessed w/these modern luxuries........afraid of losing them.....you end up becoming a workaholic - never taking the time to enjoy any of these luxuries..........hoarding your posessions and becoming a bitter old fart. 

I wish i had a subway sandwich for lunch


----------



## Hellrazor

I think he already is an old fart... lol JK. 

Poof, you have your subway sandwich... but you didnt specify the kind... silly girl, tricks are for rabbits.... nope its rabbit poop in your Sandwich...not trix... You are worried about the poor people in underpriviledged countries and feel wasting this ummmmm delicious sandwich would be inconsiderate and selfish sooo you eat it. The rabbit droppings are contaminated and you become verrrryyyy ill, vowing never to eat another subway sandwich again....

I wish I had my very own Halloween store ( I will try that again SINISTER!!!)


----------



## gypsichic

lmao.............is he now?

you're in luck! Gypsichic the Genie has heard your wish...............

shazam!!! 

you are now the proud owner of a halloween store.............but guess who your partner is? none other than FE.............lol
you two are partners of this store..........unfortunately you end up spending so much time doing the 'biz' stuff - like the books, stocking, cleaning the bathrooms..........you end up getting so sick of anything to do with halloween you can't stand it. You two end up having countless arguments & fights over profit margins and whose suppose to be doing what that you don't take care of the biz and end up going bankrupt and hating halloween.

still want that store???
lol

i wish I could take a trip around the world


----------



## Hellrazor

alakazam.... you are on your way for your trip around the world. Your vehicles to get around the world are puddle jumpers, chicken trucks and fish boats. It takes you 5 years to get around the world and you can never again get the stink out of your flesh... Enjoy your trip!

I wish I had a new Hybrid Toyota Corolla that is a 2006 and runs well and doesnt run when you want it to....


----------



## gypsichic

Hellrazor said:


> I wish I had a new Hybrid Toyota Corolla that is a 2006 and runs well and doesnt run when you want it to....


this statement seems to contradict itself to this genie.............so i'll go with the last part...........you wish it doesn't run when you want it to!

okieeeeeee dokieeeeeeee! bim bam boom!!!

your brand spankin new Hybrid Toyota Corolla 2006 doesn't run when you want it to........runs when you don't want it to - like when your sleeping it'll just start all on its own, it quits as your speeding down the highway and ends up being a PIA.

i wish my weekend had already began


----------



## grapegrl

*sweet technicalities!*

As you wish, my work-weary friend. Your weekend already began...two days ago. You totally missed it and now have to slog through another week of drudgery. 

I wish I didn't have to deal with morons in my line of work.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

gypsichic said:


> lmao.............is he now?
> 
> you're in luck! Gypsichic the Genie has heard your wish...............
> 
> shazam!!!
> 
> you are now the proud owner of a halloween store.............but guess who your partner is? none other than FE.............lol
> you two are partners of this store..........unfortunately you end up spending so much time doing the 'biz' stuff - like the books, stocking, cleaning the bathrooms..........you end up getting so sick of anything to do with halloween you can't stand it. You two end up having countless arguments & fights over profit margins and whose suppose to be doing what that you don't take care of the biz and end up going bankrupt and hating halloween.
> 
> still want that store???
> lol
> 
> i wish I could take a trip around the world


Great! I guess I suck as a business partner!!


----------



## Hellrazor

Shazam you dont have to deal with morons in your line of work, your FIRED. Now you have to deal with the morons in my line of work... enjoy your day.. trust me... 

I wish Sinister wasnt in her trying to bump my wish...


----------



## Sinister

grapegrl said:


> I wish I didn't have to deal with morons in my line of work.


Be careful of what you wish for grapegrl when the Evil Djinn is lurking about. Magically, the morons in the work place vanish, never to be seen again. Unfortunately, their foolishness doesn't dissapate and is instead transferred to people you know in your private life that are morons. They now possess a double dose of annoying stupidity, and plague your every waking hour with their collective inanities.

I wish everyone on the board would participate in the games forum.


----------



## Sinister

Hellrazor said:


> I wish Sinister wasnt in her trying to bump my wish...


This Evil Djinn does only one bumping and it has nothing to do with granting messed up wishes. 

Maybe us evil genies need to start some type of conglomerate where we take new clients on to **** up their lives in the worst of ways. :googly:


----------



## gypsichic

Lol


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy the Genie grants your wish....

Everyone is now posting like crazy to all the games, you are at your keyboard granting crazy wishes, you now have no finger prints and you can not get away from the thread, it's endless...so much for writing horror scripts!

I wish summer would last all year...


----------



## gypsichic

as you wish FE

summer all year.............110 degree heat w/90% humidity

i wish i could work from home


----------



## Hellrazor

You can work from home Gypsichic.. your wish is granted. You are now a prostitute and keep that red light in your window so everyone can see. You lost your other job you see from turning tricks at work so you could start working from home....

I wish i weighed 20 lbs less....


----------



## gypsichic

ACK! not only do i ride a bike and tote a gun but i'm a freakin prostitute............lmao

badda bing! Evil Gyps at your service............

you are 20 lbs lighter...........thru the hips...........but the 20 lbs ended up on top..............your chest and shoulders are 20 lbs heavier
making it hard to walk and for you to not topple over 

I wish my house was clean


----------



## Hellrazor

Zam! 

Your house is clean... for a Nomad....

I wish I could run in a marathon


----------



## gypsichic

well at least the evil djinn didn't show up.............lol

bling blam! you can run in a marathon - and you do ...............you run and run and run...........just like Forrest Gump...........you just keep on running and running and running.......................

I wish all my paperwork would magically file itself


----------



## Sinister

Your paperwork magically files itself, sure enough. But it files in various places around the world like Bangkok, Moscow, Sydney, vancouver...so many places in fact, you can never find them all. So you are worse off than when you started. 

I wish reality shows and soap operas never existed


----------



## Hellrazor

Ala ka Zam. 

Reality TV shows and Soap Operas never began. But people had a vision and they demand these shows... They have no other way to rid themselves of these crazy ideas and their crazy selves. People dont start realizing that them, themselves are just like the people on these shows, cuz they never existed, so they go on living their crazy lives.... and you get to see and do it all with them, cuz the world becomes one big reality show.... 

I wish I could go back to bed right now


----------



## Sinister

Since I have no knowledge of what bed you frequent, I shall put you on a bed of nails. I hope you know all those techniques those Swami's have, because if not, you're about to be in for one helluva hurting.

I wish my ex would stop calling me about stupid things.


----------



## gypsichic

you rang?

ok so instead of your ex calling you about stupid things.........guess what - she's calling you abut super duper important things like the IRS has decided to audit your tax returns you've filed the whole time you were together - that means you have to see her many many times and spend gobs of time with her.

i wish i had a closet full of new clothes!


----------



## Sinister

Evil Djinn Enterprises at your service. You come home one day to find your closets full of clothes. Cast off's from the goodwill store. **** even the Brady Bunch would refuse to wear and wreaking of mothballs. You said new clothes, and that's what you got, clothes you didn't have before. Nothing was ever said about BRAND NEW clothes. 

I wish the lawn mainetenance people would quit mowing the grass in the same place every single day. It doesn't even rain, so how can it sprout up overnight?!?


----------



## gypsichic

as you wish

the lawn boys stop mowing the same place daily..........trouble is they never mow in those places again...........it becomes a thicket full of ticks and snakes working their way into your home

i wish UPS would hurry the hell up and pick up the shipping


----------



## Sinister

The UPS picks up the shipping alright. Trouble is, there's been a mix-up with the dockets and someone forgot to cross a few "I's" and dot a few "T's" and the only thing they pick up is the belongings in your house because of a simple clerical **** up. So there you are still holding what was originally meant to be shipped while these fine fellows are cleaning out your house which will be empty when you get home...even that last can of Who Hash!

I wish I had a Wendy's Frosty right now and a Triple stack combo Biggie Sized.


----------



## gypsichic

man you are keepin this Gypsigenie busssssssssssssssyyyyyyyyy today!

one Wendy's Frosty and a Triple stack combo Biggie Sized comin right up...........with no specifications on what kind of frosty i brought you a green slime frosty sorry about the frog leg hanging out of the cup.........and a triple stack combo - you again didn't say what kind of combo.........so i decided on chicken livers and gizzards - oh and i Biggie sized it for you 

enjoy!

i wish ups hadn't emptied my house earlier...........lol


----------



## Sinister

They didn't. It was in reality a gang of thieves posing as UPS guys, brown uniforms, vans the whole enchilada as not to arouse suspicion. 

I wish my head would stop aching


----------



## gypsichic

your head has stopped aching.............too bad the ache has moved into you back..........you have a hitch in your getalong unfortunately and can't stand up much less move hardly while lying down without lots of pain

I wish i was on the highway going home


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy here again granting unbelievable wishes................

You are now on the highway....It's a long road home and the drive never ends.........

And you never go home.............

I wish my house was paid for


----------



## gypsichic

you rang?

check out your mortgage statement! your balance is reading a big fat $0

too bad you spent the money you would've used as a payment before the mortgage co. realized their mistake!

i wish i ran the world


----------



## Sinister

You wish is my command. The world is at your beck and call. Unfortunately, the "peasants" are plotting revolt and in less time it takes to tell, you have a full blown nuclear war on your hands from those who have had enough of your rule. In the apocalyptic melee, a fair chunk of the earth is destroyed and is plunged into another ice age in the form of a nuclear winter. You miraculously survive and are now the ruler of a dead world covered in radiated snow.

I wish it were cooler here.


----------



## gypsichic

did i hear my name???

cooler you want..............cooler you shall have

hows -40 w/a north wind of 50 mph blowin up your skirt? feel all better?
or a bit too nipply for you? 

enjoy those 'cooler' temps Sin!

I wish my electric bill was lower


----------



## Spooklights

So you want a lower electric bill; here it is! 

Unfortunately, you now live in Baltimore, and BG&E says they've gone broke, so you have no bill, but no electricity either.

I wish it was October.


----------



## lady_bee

As you wish Spooklight. It is October 1692. As you are putting out all of your Halloween decorations, people are looking at you quite funny. Next thing you know you are dragged to a court, condemned for being a witch/warlock and burned at the stake.

I wish I had some cheese to make a grilled cheese sandwich


----------



## gypsichic

someone rang? 

badda bing badda boom! 

since you didn't specify the kind of cheese i gave you a limburger grilled cheese samich.......love that odor
unfortunately the stench sticks on everything from curtains to couch.....you'll enjoy the lingering odor of that grill cheese for weeks to come

i wish there was a decent movie on tv


----------



## lady_bee

There is one decent movie on this weekend, but it's on TNT. You know it will be rerun 100 times and to top it off you have a kid and it's their favorite movie. Everytime you try to change the channel they throw a temper tantrum.

I wish money really did grow on trees.


----------



## turtle2778

Your wish is my command. Money now grows like leaves on a tree but unfortunately its now worthless. Sorry

I wish my husband was more into halloween and less into fishing!!!!!!


----------



## Hellrazor

Abbra Cadabra... your wish is MY command. 

Your hubby is now more into Halloween then fishing and you guys spend so much time together, he takes over your props and you guys are now joined at the hip. You have no "U" time cuz he always wants to be involved and he never goes fishing anymore to let out his own frustrations and have his own "me" time... But dont worry, it doesnt last for long... you will become so frustrated and bugged out by him always being around.. you will make him part of your haunt... permently... enjoy your stay at the local jail... you will only be there a couple weeks till they move you to the PEN. 

I wish I had more than 3 hours sleep last night...


----------



## Sinister

Shaking out my almost inexhaustable bag of dirty tricks here, lets see if one of my alter-ego's have what you are looking for....no....that's not it...no....ah, here we go! It looks like you're in luck, Ms. Rip Van Winkle (or SOL in this case) More than three hours sleep coming right up. Three centuries should do it. When you awaken, the world is a barren arid wasteland. Everything you know or loved is gone. I won't be totally cruel, your whole body was in suspended animation so nothing atrophied. You're going to need all your strength to fend off your fellow human beings who have been reduced to near animal state and are bloodthristy marauding cannibals. So, are you feeling rested?

I wish Kyra would hurry and get here.


----------



## Hellrazor

Hmmmmm after that wonderful wish you granted me I feel the need to return the favor... Ala ka Zam! Kyra is hurring as fast as her little legs will take her. While on her way her car broke down and no one has offered a ride so she is left walking all the way to you.... oooohhh whats that!! Oh poor Kyra, the soles of her shoes fell out, guess its gonna take a while. Get ready for a foot massage when she gets there, cuz thats about all she will have the energy for.....

I wish my arm wasnt aching sooooo much right now.


----------



## gypsichic

you summoned?

whaddya know! your arm has stopped aching all together............but your leg is killing you.........so much so you end up in traction in the hospital for weeks.......betcha wish your arm was still hurting

I wish FE would stop stealing goats


----------



## Hellrazor

Your wish is my command. FE has stopped stealing them darn goats and you have all of yours. But you never realized how many darn goats you had before and you become miserable and a recluse...


I wish I was going on a Cruise soon


----------



## gypsichic

summoned once again i see...............

a cruise you want...........a cruise you shall have...............on a ship named the Titanic II..........you end up in a horrible hurricane, but the ship doesn't sink.......instead you end up marooned on a desert island with the Professor, Ginger, Thurstan and his wife , the Skipper, and Mary Ann & of course Gilligan
hope you like coconuts

i wish my allergies would go away and i'd stop sneezing


----------



## Hellrazor

your wish is my command again,,, hey im getting tired granting your wonderful wishes..lol

So to sneeze you need a nose. So I will help you with your wish and now your nose is removed. You didnt need it anyway, it only caused you turmoil. See how nice I can be. .. 

*I wish my grass was less dead and more green


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy here, the Messed up Wish List Wizard Grantin you your most wanted desires!
pif*
Your wish is granted, you now suffer the same fate as Jordy Verrill from CreepShow.
You shoulda never touched the grass, now you are turning into green growth yourself....

I wish I had a nice frosted mug for my beer....


----------



## Hellrazor

Badda Bing Badda Boom, heres your nice frosted mug for your beer... 
Whats that, theres a hole in the bottom...Sorry, no refunds....

I wish My Visa bill was paid off....


----------



## gypsichic

Evil Gypsichic at your service..............

paid off that visa bill...........too bad it took your income for the entire YEAR
now you'll have to get a 2nd job just to eat!

I wish the humidity would decrease


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy here!

pif*
It's hot as hell, well the humidity is gone....along with your soul!

I wish it was yesterday!


----------



## TearyThunder

Poof your wish is my command......... It is yesterday but you still have ot re-live everyone trying to get your goat tomorrow!

I wished I didn't have to go back to work soon.


----------



## Hellrazor

Poor Gypsichic doesnt have any more soles ... of her shoes.. at least she still has her soul!!!! 

he he


----------



## gypsichic

Gypsichic here to grant your wish once more.........muuuuuuuahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

don't wanna go to work you say? consider it done

oops ......... forgot to mention that when you do want to go back to work cuz you have to have money to eat you find out one of your co-workers has stolen your job - you don't have to go work but now you are jobless 

I wish FE and i could dive together


----------



## Sinister

The Evil Djinn has taken a short hiatus, but returns when not one, but two of his favorite folks to bestow wishes upon are part of the bargain. I'm going to keep this one simple. You and FE dive...right into Mt. Saint Helens and the molten magma that seethes in it's fiery heart. 

I wish it were autumn all year round, at least where I am.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Hey, you suck!
Bad Evil Djinn!


----------



## Hellrazor

Your wish is my command Sinister... so you wish for autumn all around, baaaaaa There it is, always autumn but the part of autumn that is wet and damp, not the nice crisp autumn weather.. Sorry, its gotta be that way. Dont slip on the sheets of ice in the morning and I hope you dont mind the constant wet chill through your bones. You asked for it...

I wish I get 98 % on my next exam


----------



## Sinister

That last one wasn't so bad that you granted. I can live with all of that. Being that you were so kind, I am going to go easy on you...this time. You get a 98% as you request, the bad thing is your professor expects it all the time now, so you have to study extra hard and pull many an allnighter.

I wish dinner was already cooked and I didn't have to get up and fix it.  

As for you, FE, I smite thee with boils before you dive into that molten lava ocean.  :googly:


----------



## Hellrazor

Your dinner is cooked Sinister, you do not have to get up to prepare it. Too bad you dinner was ready 3 days ago and now you have to eat it. Just cut off the green stuff. Luke warm food isnt so bad. 

He he, I like what you have done with Fe. I will also smite he, Fe, I smite you with small cuts from razors ALL over your body... oh ya and Lava is a Salen based substance.....ouch!

I wish I was a good singer.


----------



## gypsichic

whew! bad things are being wished upon poor ole' FE.........lol

Gypsichic the Generous Genie here to grant your wish.............

poof! you are a good singer.............of yodeling
you didn't exactly specify what KIND of singer you wanted to be so i gave it my best guess..........lol
enjoy hollaring at the vast spaces in the mountains all alone

I wish sinister was on the board today


----------



## Hellrazor

Poof he is here, but hes invisible! He can no longer be seen on the board and we will never know where he is or when he will show up... whats that behind you gypsichic,,,, you better watch out...

I wish I was the prime minister of Canada


----------



## Sinister

You know how much I love granting your wishes, Raze. The Evil Djinn can't change his habits this late in the game, so here we go.

You are now the Prime Minister of Canada. Unfortunately, the last few administrations have so ****ed up the country and it's dealing home and abroad, that you spend your entire run cleaning up their messes. When it's at last finished you are ousted from office because no one appreciates you, thinking the country is worse off when in all actuality it's much better off, but try convincing the general public at large of this. 

I wish Hella were still here.


----------



## Hellrazor

Well just for the record, whats different with that grant then whats actually happening??? LOL..

Poof you wish is my command, and Hella is with you still... 

I wish I had a swimming pool (of water) in my back yard.


----------



## Hellrazor

ha ha you thought I granted you a good one eh! well nope...

Shes there with you still but shes bored cuz she has no job so shes getting ornery and you guys are on eachothers nerves cuz your togehter 24 - 7 - I spliced your hips together so she could stay with you forever... No where to run, hide or go number 2 without her..... 


Thats better eh


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

And your wish is???


----------



## Hellrazor

read the next one up person above my post.. oops wrong game

Read the next one up though.. i wish it didnt switch pages...


----------



## Sinister

You have your pool, dearie filled with water, but it's also filled with a highly active flesh eating virus that will strip you to the bone in a matter of minutes. Draining the pool and starting all over won't help, it just reproduces itself the more water is added and lies dormant when dry. That pool is screwed for all time and will always be unusuable.

I wish there was a channel that shows all my favorite movies and programs when I am in the mood to see them.


----------



## Hellrazor

hmmmmm you wish is my command, especially after that wonderful wish you granted for me....

Your tv has a special remote control .... but your remote control actually controls you... no matter what you put on, you want to watch it... whether it be "Gilligans island" or "Star Search" and dont forget the terrible show CSI: MIami... but you want to watch... all day and all night, cuz every show looks good to you.... your brain starts melting and you go blind from sitting so close to the tv......


aaahhhhh that felt good! 

I wish I had a new kitten


----------



## Sinister

Didn't know that Damian Thorn actually liked cats as well as Rotty's eh? Well, he did and you got one of his evil cat's brood. It's eyes glow, it becomes monstrous at night trashing your house...oh, and it can also stare at people and make them kill themselves as an extra added bonus. The rarest of breeds, yet nothing but the very best for you! 

I wish gas weren't so damn expensive


----------



## Hellrazor

( I have a cat like that already - his name is Yoda!)

Gas is no longer expensive cuz Bush finally gave up the goods and released everything hes been screwing with..... so now gas is cheaper than water... so supply and demand water is soooo expensive you have nothing to drink. It cost more for everything... you had to have cheaper gas eh???

I wish I weighed 20 lbs less


----------



## TipoDeemin

Now _that_ I can do.

You now weigh 20 pounds less... than Ron Jeremy. And you kind of look like him, too. Well, at least you can make money off of selling autographs. Maybe.

I wish they'd restock the Sobe cooler at work already!


----------



## Hellrazor

Your wish is my command Tipo... They did stock the Sobe cooler at work... with arsnic milkshakes.. Enjoy

I wish I had the money to buy all the foam I need to board up my windows this week.


----------



## Sinister

you have all the money to the penny to buy the foam and just when you are about to purchase the foam, you decide at the last minute to go blow the whole wad on a day at the movies and the concession stand, which is a small fortune in and of itself.

I wish my sinus problems would go away and never come back


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy here, your faithful genie...

Your sinus are clear, I just pushed them up to the top of your head.
Though you eyes look little funny?
















I wish I had a milkshake...


----------



## Sinister

a milkshake made from milk weed coming right up! Nice, frothy and poisnous---or at least it will make you very, very sick.

I wish the Chapelle Show Lost Episodes were out on DVD instead of coming on Comedy Central.


----------



## TearyThunder

You wish has been granted but the DVD's you got actually starred FE wearing DT's underwear!

I wish for more props


----------



## Sinister

You can have your props, TT! In fact you have so many now that your yard is piled with them and there's no way to set up an effective haunt. Your property now looks more like ground zero at a rummage sale explosion than a haunt paradise. 

I wish some folks on various forums would loosen up and have some fun rather than get bent out of shape about every little thing.


----------



## gypsichic

Gypsi here! you rang???

let me see what i have in my handy dandy bag of tricks...........screwdriver.......nope..........nail file.........no........uuuuuhhhhmmmmm.......spark plug gapper.........uh-uh.......shoot.........ohhhhhhhhh wait.........my magic wand! finally!

okkkkkkkkk............hocus pocus!!! 

folks on some forums are loosened up..........too loose actually.........slobbering drunk and PWI (posting while intoxicated) 
it's a very unpretty sight.........oh they get along - alittle too well i might add.........the sexual innduendos start flying and it becomes an all out orgy online 

i wish Sin and hella were still hanging out w/each other

(ok evil djinn........lets see whatcha gonna do w/that wish )


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Did you ever play Baldaurs Gate?


----------



## gypsichic

never heard of it


----------



## Sinister

Dirty Pool! I...er, ah...I gotta sit this one out. The above sort of negates any magic I can work against it because it would affect badly this poor humble soul of a Djinn.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

gypsichic said:


> Gypsi here! you rang???
> 
> let me see what i have in my handy dandy bag of tricks...........screwdriver.......nope..........nail file.........no........uuuuuhhhhmmmmm.......spark plug gapper.........uh-uh.......shoot.........ohhhhhhhhh wait.........my magic wand! finally!


This line is very very similar in this pc game...just thougth..


----------



## gypsichic

muuuuuuuuuuhahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


----------



## gypsichic

lol..........interesting

nope just thought it'd be a little entertaining


----------



## gypsichic

<whistling>


----------



## Hellrazor

la la la whats going on... no more majic???


----------



## gypsichic

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


----------



## Sinister

Let me see what I can do...dammit all!

Hella and I are together. Since we share the same mind, she knows I was forced into this wish and by whom! That being said, my dear Harley riding beauty, this bodes not well at all for you. The fury of a certain hot red-head will be levelled at thee and thine and reprocussions will be worse than anything this Evil Djinn could level at you. Now don't you wish you could take that wish back?   :devil: 

I wish every wish that I wish would come true with no messing up whatsoever. :devil:


----------



## gypsichic

oooooooooooooooooo NICE SAVE EVIL DJINN!!!

lemme think.............


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

azkabibble! You wish is granted! From now on all of your wishes come true perfectly, every wish you make is perfect. But alas perfect people get nailed to crosses...hope you got a tetanus shot.

I wish had three legs and four arms.


----------



## Sinister

There was a baby mix-up at the hospital when you were born. It comes to light that your real parents were brother and sister with a long history of a straight family tree with little to no branches. Your limbs sprout and you lose all your teeth, gain five eyes and become Larry the Cable guy's number one fan. Yee-Haw! Lets go to a tractor pull! 

I wish I didn't have to go grocery shopping later on.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy Genie here......
Abbra Wish is granted....

You no longer need to shop, you've won a life time supply of twinkees.
Rules of the contest, you eat only twinkees. you've lost all your teeth but a great fortune has come its way. Because of all the preservitives in the twinkees you live a long life.

I wish I was a Disney cartoon.


----------



## gypsichic

howdy FE! glad to be of service to such a generous guy!!!

POOF!!! you are now a disney cartoon...........goofy to be exact
have fun with that!

i wish my taxes were done


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Well now.....lets see.....

Jiffy the Genie never fails....
pif*

Your taxes are done, your wonderful Jiffy the Genie has done them himself while comfortably sitting in his bottle... Now (LINK)....

I wish I was already at MidWest Haunters Convention...


----------



## Sinister

You are there, my friend. Alas, you are avoided by everyone like the plague because they know of your penchant for making wishes with evil creatures who bring more harm than good, so they do not wish for the bad mojo to rub off on them. You go home, feeling all dejected and everything back in the real world is the same way. Lonely, puzzled and homeless you wonder how it all came to this, but then you suddenly realize if you had spent more time making props instead of rubbing magic lamps hoping for the lottery, you wouldn't be in the mess you are in now.

Speaking of the lottery, I'm a sucker for punishment. I wish I could win the largest powerball jackpot in history.


----------



## Spooklights

Congratulations, Sinister! You just won!  

Unfortunately, the IRS has been bored and needs something to do; they are all over you like white on rice, and you need to make a quick trip out of the country! Maybe now is a good time to give Transylvania a try.......

I wish I had my Halloween costume finished.


----------



## HibLaGrande

A week after your costume disappears from you work shop. you receive a mysterious call. "Your costume is finished!" shouts a slick,thick brooklyn laiden voice on the other end. "It's sleepin' wid da fishes." he laughs.

I wish that I could find a way to become indepedantly wealthy.


----------



## Sinister

You are independently wealthy as of this moment. However, you have this insatiable urge to blow your load at the first opportunity that arises. It comes in the form of Frighteners Entertainment and Death Touch getting you to invest stock in DT's underware franchise. After they have cleaned you out, you find that underware, especially DT's wasn't the way to go. Buying stock in moldy peaches would have served you better.

I wish I could erase some of my past history and fill it with more pleasant things.


----------



## gypsichic

<yawn> someone called???

erase the past eh??? okkkkkkkkkkkkkk...............bang! 
and fill it w/more pleasant things??? well okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk .........poof

unfortunately due to not having trials and tribulations in your past you don't ever learn how to appreciate those pleasant things.........you come to expect things to always go your way and don't learn how to effectively deal w/disappointments in life. This sends you into a deep depression and makes you bitter and unreasonable.

I wish once again that my allergies would stop acting up and i could stop sneezing and have a clear head! 
dammit


----------



## Sinister

Working faster than any of those things like Benedryl, Astelin, Sudafed, etc. the Evil Djinn grants thine wish. Sneezing, stuffy nose and the like...GONE! However, like most of these cures that people mass market, there's those annoying side effects like headache, diarhea and vomiting, and well, evil magic brings that out sometimes. I'll just leave you with those three symptoms and advise you to try the Over The Counter **** instead of seeking out sorcery. It's a pseudoscience after all.

I wish I could find a great Chinese Buffet.


----------



## gypsichic

that was one of your more milder grantings Evil Djinn...........lol

you rang again? busy today aren't we

up the street from you is a great chinese buffet.........has everything you would expect..........fried and grilled rat..........deep fried dog..........poached roaches and lots of raw fish

I wish it was still the weekend


----------



## Sinister

The evil one isn't always a hard ass.


----------



## Hella

zing a ling a ling

you wish is my command, It's still the weekend, It's also still 110 degrees with no relief in site, your AC at home is broken and you there is a drought so there is no way for you to cool off. You are so hot and tired that you do nothing but wish for the work week so you can be inside slaving away with the Air Conditioning.


I wish my computer was fixed already


----------



## gypsichic

you rang? Gypsichic at your service..............

badda bing badda boom! 

that computer of yours is fixed!.............fixed to only go to certain sites - porn sites actually so everytime you open your browser window a centerfold popup appears.........along w/advertisements for many an adult toy........nothing you do seems to work to get rid of these things!

i wish i was floating in the pool


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

Bing Bang Boing! gypsichic's wish has been granted!

You are now floating in beautiful, refreshing pool during these summer days. Unfortunately the pool belongs to Tony Saprano and your back is getting awfully burnt from floating face down.

I wish that I could have top notch room-service everyday!


----------



## HibLaGrande

Knock knock!

You start your new job at the hotel and are now assigned to room service. and you are expected to do a top notch job. EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LONG AND MISERABLE LIFE! MWAHAHAHAHAH!

I wish I had a room where Mr. Unpleasant now works, I hear he does a great job.


----------



## six_feetdown

kaboom.... your wish has been granted HibLaGrande.
you get a room but it's the janitors room that goes along with your new job as janitor.....

I wish i had a fully automated bucky


----------



## Hellrazor

ala ka zam. Here you go your fully automated bucky... but wait a minute. the box came without controls.... why do you ask... oooohhh Mr. Bucky can do all the automation himself... mmmm and he thinks your wifey is pretty cute. Better watch out for mr. Bucky!

I wish I had more props finished by now.


----------



## gypsichic

you rang?

bling bling! you now have a fully automated bucky.........which includes having a mind of his own! For you this means life ends as you currently know it........you now have a bucky out of control much like any teenager. Bucky never picks up after himself, gets into the fridge, eats you out of house and home, even borrows your car in the middle of night without asking!!! 

I wish i was home sitting on my porch drinking coffee while watching the birds


----------



## six_feetdown

booom your wish has been granted
your props are finished but the one that holds a shot gun shoots the birds that gypsichic is watching and gives her a fright that spills her coffee and burns her knee and she sues hellrazor for stress and damages.

i wish i had a video camera


----------



## Sinister

The Evil Djinn hears a wish on the wind and hastens to grant it. Six you may have your camera. It's the latest thing in state of the art technology. You film birthday parties, weddings and just good ol' times with friends, family and acquaintances. You invite all of these folks over to check out the movies you have made with them and to show off how well your new toy works. Maybe you should have checked the tape. When the film rolls, there's your loved ones on the screen, but it isn't quite what you have filmed. The camera picked up all those dark, dirty secrets they thought no one would never know about but now the whole world can (or at least those in the room) because this particular camera peers into the soul. As everyone screams in disgust and horror over these hidden deeds, you realize in a flash of epiphany that none of them are going to let you leave the room alive. Aaaaahhh, for the days of a simple Polaroid 35mm again.

I wish all my rewrites on all my stories were done.


----------



## trishaanne

Ask and ye shall receive. All of your rewrites are now complete. They have been done so well that there are now bidding wars with publishers from all over the world. They are offering you tons of money, each offer higher than the next. The final offer comes in and you will become a very wealthy man, however there is a small catch. In order to finalize this deal you must agree to remain in California.......FOR EVER!!!!!

I wish I looked like I did back in high school!


----------



## Sinister

Well, Pattie, your wish is granted. You look the same as you did back in school and as an extra added bonus, you get to remain that way for the rest of your days. As with every wish the Evil Djinn grants, there is one major drawback. You cannot get water on you, or much like the Mogwai you will become like one of those hideous creatures in *Gremlins. N*ot being able to bathe, it won't make a whole lot of difference that you look like you did in high school.

I wish I hadn't ate so much earlier.


----------



## Omega

Abra Kadabra! You are sent back to the time in which you ate, your son tells you to stop and takes your plate from in front of you but lo and behold your stomach begins to ache uncontrollably and before too long your intestines spontaneously combust shattering your rib cage, sending shards of bone into your heart thus causing you to fall over dead from internal bleeding.

I wish that I can get my band started in Colorado!


----------



## gypsichic

someone rang?

badda bing badda boom!

you now have a band started in colorado...........since you didn't specify which kinda band i'm guessing you wanted a bluegrass band........you all wear the old early 70's dress clothes.......complete w/butterfly collars and rhinestones........pickin your banjo's and singin with that thru-the-nose high pitch whine you all look like you should star on Hee-Haw

unfortunately theres not much of a following in colorado for bluegrass bands

I wish the coffee was done


----------



## Bodybagging

Coffee is done but unfortunatly you didnt specify where the coffee was to be done at, so now you have to fly here to Michigan to get your coffee, and as long as you are here..........
I wish I had Gypsis ponytail hanging over the barespot on my mantle


----------



## Sinister

gypsichic's hair now hangs on your mantle. Deeply satisfied, you go to bed and drift off to dreamland.

You forgot one small detail: Gyps is an evil genie much like the worst of the worst granting your wish right now, so her hair has magical properties. And you are very unfortunate that she has placed a curse on it and anyone who would dare sully it by cutting it off. The strands crawl from the fireplace, wind their way to your room and as you lay mouth open snoring, they creep down into your gullet strangling you like in some terrible nightmare, but this one is all too real. While Bodybagged is calling a hospital, you croak and the hairs slide right back out. The doctors have a hard time explaining what killed you, but that's okay, at least you will rest easier in heaven knowing Gyps hair returned to her and no one will be strangled by them again.

I wish I had some good donuts from a reputable donut shop right now.


----------



## bodybagged

Bim! Bam! Boop! 
Your wish is granted! 
A dozen Crispy Cream dougnuts. But wait, are those chocolate sprinkles? NOPE. Rat poop! 
I wish I could fly. lol.


----------



## Sinister

The Evil Djinn hears and grants.

You can fly because you have wings like a bird as well as hollow bones, so you can drift through the clouds with the greatest of ease. But wait!

Is that cats I hear meowing? It is! I forgot to tell you, cats catch your scent and they think you are just a giant bird that they want to eat. If I were you I would avoid felines for the rest of my life.

I wish our film project were starting right now.


----------



## Omega

BANG! Your career as a filmmaker begins and for a while goes gravy, until tragedy strikes, the unions somehow have seized your entire film crew and everyone involved with the shooting and distributing of your films. You find that if you pay an X amount of dollars you can have them back on the condition that they get to live in your house and make more bank on your films than yourself.

I wish I could start a heavy metal record label!


----------



## trishaanne

Just ask and *poof*, you own your own heavy metal record label. It is rapidly growing and money is pouring in like you never imagined, making you extremely wealthy. You have bands begging to be signed by you. Unfortunately, the government has banned heavy metal music and anyone found listening to it, promoting it or recording it will be arrested on the spot and sentenced to life inprisonment.

I wish I didn't have to do this yard work.


----------



## Spooklights

Presto! The Genie has granted your wish! You will never have to do yard work again!
Unfortunately, it's because the local government has condemned your property to make way for that new 4-lane highway that's going through. Don't you just love progress?

I wish I could get rid of this migraine.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Presto!

Your head falls off.

I wish I had a Kazillion Twinkies.


----------



## Omega

Ala kazaam! You have your twinkies but since all the twinkies in the world reside in your home, fat kids and housewives batter your door down for the sugar kick you hold in your possession soon your twinkies are all gone with nothing left but a shattered frame of that which used to be your homestead.

I wish I could fly my woman out for All Hallows Eve!


----------



## Spooklights

Dr Morbius said:


> Presto!
> 
> Your head falls off..


Thanks Doc! I feel better already!

Omega, it's so nice that you want to see your woman on Halloween! The genie happily grants your wish!
Unfortunately, your lovely lady gets a good, long look at your Halloween display.....haunted looking things as far as the eye can see....and she starts to look at you funny. Maybe you'd better rethink this whole romance thing.....

I wish Halloween was every day!


----------



## Sinister

Every day is Halloween now, so the Evil Djinn decrees, so shall it be. The autumn leaves fall, the winds grow crips and cold. But something is amiss. Eventually real Jack-O-Lanterns do not exist anymore and everything that is vegetable life withers and dies. The world lies in famine and cannibalism runs rampant as skeletal people who are that way from malnourishment, seek the flesh of their fellow man dressed in costumes like Darth Vader, Sponge Bob, Captain Jack Sparrow and Dale Earnhardt. Don't think you'll survive this, because the hungry ones know who brought a once great holiday down into the mire. That is why, there is a roast in your honor and you are that roast!

I wish the trip to Colorado was over.


----------



## gypsichic

btw love posts 623 & 624..........too damn funny!

well well well..............is that you i hear Kenny?

lemme see what ole' Gyps has in her little bag of tricks for you this afternoon................wishin that trip to colorado was over huh?
looks to me like you've gotten your wish............its over all right.........you never make it to colorado cuz you got on the wrong plane!...........you're now somewhere in the amazon due to non-english speaking folks who have attempted to help you w/their sign language.......too bad you couldn't understand them

i wish FE was here to shine my bike.............


----------



## Sinister

Glad you like the former wishes, Gyps. you might not like this one, however. Jeff shines that bike like it never has been. He shines so well on it that it wears away in places it shouldn't, so now you are stuck with a useless hunk of metal, plastic, rubber and wires...which FE, unable to stop shines these suckers until they also disintegrate into nothing. You can't stop him now. He's yours to do this for all eternity. Everyone of your bikes you are able to get hooked up with disappear within days thanks to his repeated polishings.

I wish I could have spooky bands like *Iron Maiden, Nine Inch Nails, Danzig, Marilyn Manson, Megadeth *and* Bauhaus *play my next Halloween Bash.


----------



## roadkill

And there they are Sin - right along with the cops who arrest you for disturbin' the peace and not having all the right permits to hold an outdoor concert. Of course the BANDS also want to have a little chat with you too. Seems they'd all like to be paid - unfortunately you failed to collect any admission thinking "Hey! It's a wish - they'll play for free" and are therefore facing mounting legal problems for misrepresentation and generally being sued for not paying up for all the talent. Oh - rest assured - the bands agents all have the "special" collection agencies waiting for you my friend.

I wish I knew for certain my schedule would permit me time to build, set up, and decorate for Halloween without any problems.


----------



## HibLaGrande

Holy pinkslips batman!

You're fired!

I wish I was king of the world


----------



## Sinister

Hib is now the King of the world...that is King of the dead world of Pluto. You will never be abdicated, overthrown, or executed for crimes real or imagined. You die immediately in the -350 Celsius and are enthroned in a block of ice, looking ever toward the direction of the sun, a perpetual look on your face of, "How could I have ****ed-up so bad as to ask a wish of The Evil Djinn?"

I wish all my packing for Colorado were done.


----------



## gypsichic

mornin Sin..............evil Gyps at your service

want all that packing done??? BLING BLING! its done..........packed into crates..........unfortunately everything is shattered due to the haste sooooo you have nothing but crates full of broken pieces of everything. 

you didn't really specify how you wanted stuff packed 

i wish sin was moving closer to me


----------



## Sinister

An interesting wish. Especially in light of the fact that it includes me to be an almost constant factor. Very well. Never let it be said I can't constanly work my magic and not for one brief second when someone asks it of me.

I now live next door. Dark music and evil laughter erupts at every moment of the day. Soon, the skies darken and it either rains every day or snows, depending on my whims. The streets are prowled by vampires, werewolves, zombies and every type of monstrous creature imagined. The best yard haunts in the world have nothing on the black imagination of The Evil Djinn. People who live in this nightmare world never go outside for fear of what might happen to them, ere they step outside their doors. You soon wish I was no longer there. But you've had your one wish dear. This is not messed Up Wish List x 3. :devil: 

I wish I had a good, southern home made breakfast.


----------



## gypsichic

nice job evil djinn!..........lol

one good southern homemade breakfast by Granny Clampett coming up fer ya!

a little possum w/yer eggs........a little **** w/yer grits...........oh and a little roadkill serrrrprise made by Elly Mae........complete w/goats milk, a hunk of goat cheese and toast smeared w/molasses

bon apetite'

i wish i had time this week to work on my halloween projects


----------



## Sinister

As long as Ellie Mae is serving that breakfast wearing those Daisy Duke shorts with the flannel shirt that ties at her belly line and keeps dropping things and bends over to pick them up next to me, that doesn't sound all that bad, Gyps!  :googly: 

Halloween Projects. Yes, let me see what I can do for you. Mysteriously, you are all caught up at work and there is nothing for you to do, but go home and work on props and the such. It's an exercise in complete frustration, however as NOTHING works out right and even though you have so much time, it will eventually run out. There you are covered in the mess of the things and projects scattered to every corner of creation! Now, they need you at work---DESPERATELY! Like right now! You try to get up to rush inside and get ready to go because time is wasting and realize you can't move because you glued yourself to the ground. Time to start thinking about how much unemployment you can collect, Gyps. 

I wish I could have a home theater system to rival and surpass any in the world.


----------



## gypsichic

lol @ you and ellie mae!

new home theatre system is now installed in your home.........and boy does it surpass any in the world
as you and a group of your closest friend get comfy to enjoy this new electronic wonder of the world...........the moment you hit the power switch all hell breaks loose..........your house begins to shake as if an earthquake hits.......walls begin to crack and crumble, beams fall and the foundation splits........along with you and your friend eardrums.........oh and the brightness blinds you all so you can't even find your way out of the disaster.........you all end up in a heap under all the rubble......however the theatre system stays in tact awaiting its next victim............

i wish i was lounging by the pool


----------



## trishaanne

You are now lounging by the pool with a tall, cold drink. Cleaning the pool is an incredibly sexy pool man wearing nothing but a smile. You get so caught up in watching him that you lose track of time and suddenly you find youself with a 3rd degree sunburn. Your body is covered in blisters and even air hurts.

I wish I didn't have to go pick up my mother in law


----------



## Hella

ZAP
you don't have to go pick up your mother in law, she drives to your house instead, and since she is no longer dependent on you to get back to the where ever it was you were going to pick her up, she stays with you for the rest of her life, giving you those wondeful suggestions on how to clean the house and raise her grandkids 

I wish that I was moved into the apartment already


----------



## gypsichic

summoned again...........sorry it took me so long - its hell for me to get around when my magic carpet is in the shop!

bing bang boom!!! 

you are moved into that apt already.............in the middle of the bronx.......too bad its infested w/rats, roaches and mice...........and has no air and the heater works when it wants to

I wish the haunt calender was finished


----------



## Sinister

The Haunt Calendar IS finished...Zombie-F said **** all the horse **** and called it quits. And this was only minutes from the actual printing.

I wish I could get over some of the anxieties I'm having with living in a new area.


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

allakazam! You no longer have the anxiety of living in a new area as you have just been infected with a fatal disease and now have anxiety about dying in a new area. So sorry to hear that your feeling down...mind if I date Hella when your gone?

I wish I was abducted by aliens?


----------



## grapegrl

*_Anal-probe-a-kablooey_!*

Get the National Enquirer on the horn, Mr U, you're gettin' beamed up! Hope you don't mind your new friends turning you into a human lab experiment. Yikes...those instruments look...sharp...

I wish I could have a brand new (free of charge) bushhog for my tractor waiting at the house when I get home.


----------



## Haunted Neurons

Poof...your new bushhog is waiting for you at home, but unfortunatley someone broke into your shed when you where at work and stole your tractor.

I wish I had a beautiful vacation house on the beach.


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

Turn on the life guard...pass the tanning butter. You going to feel right at home in your new beach house. Of course a thatch roof does require a lot of maintenance because the weather can turn foul on the beaches of North Korea. Don't step on those left over landmines!

I wish I was the ruler of a 3rd world country...why, I don't know. just play along


----------



## roadkill

And there it is. Your own land! YOU RULE! of course the population is only 3 (counting yourself) and the other two won't listen to you. Later in the week you find that the leader of a larger, neighboring country has brokered the sale of the rights to your land and the developers bulldozers will arrive next week to demolish all that is standing in your plague-pit. The other two citizens of your country are exstatic since they cleaned up in the land deal and by week's end you'll be working for them.

Wasn't that pleasant?

I wish, no matter what I've spent, that I always had the exact amount of money needed to purchase an item I want for my haunt regardless of cost without affecting someone else's bank account or doing anything illegal.


----------



## slightlymad

"POOF" You always have all the money you need to purchase all things needed for your haunt. You have this money because you accepted corporate sponsor ship for said haunt. You no longer have control over the items and it has turned into a cutesy cinderella land. The governing board of your sponsor has jumped in with both feet and overspent closing all its american based plants and opening sweat shops in china. Unemployment soars to 20% in the US and you are horribly board because you signed a lifetime non-compete agreement and can no longer do your own haunt.

I wish i may i wish i might finish all my props tonight.


----------



## Dr Morbius

You-might-a-kazam!

Through a frantic fit of impulse, you finish every prop you planned on making this year. You worked so fast, they look like crap. But at least you're done!

I wish I had a cemetery fence.


----------



## Sinister

Doc calls and The Evil Djinn responds! Your cemetary fence is erected and it's a pretty nice one; ornate and made of wrought iron. Sadly you won't get to enjoy it since it surrounds the plot of ground that you are buried under.

I wish summer would just go away!


----------



## Lazario

Summer goes away... And it never, ever, ever comes back. Which means now, instead of sweating all the time (or half the time), you freeze all the time.


I wish... I wish all paint was edible.


----------



## Sinister

Paint becomes very edible, so much so that it is highly addictive. Nothing else compares; not drugs, booze, caffeine or even sex. Paint is in such high demand that it can't be manufatured quickly enough to meet supply and demand and so it becomes even more expensive than cocaine or heroin ever was. The crime rate shoots up to alarming highs and many people, yourself included, will go to any extreme just to get your next "fix."

I wish there was something on TV worth watching this morning.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Halleluja!

You suddenly become a Bible thumper! You're hunger for words of inspiration compell you to realize the only thing WORTH watching are televangelists.
You sent every penny you had to them and thank the good Lord everyday how you are now suffering like Jesus.

I wish I had a nickel for every crappy movie that ever came out of Hollywood


----------



## Lazario

Now with the money you're making, you own all of Hollywood, but you find yourself inexperienced to deal with the crappy movies. So while you have all the money you could ever want in the world... you are now the one to blame for all the crap Hollywood makes. You'd better wish someone else doesn't make the same wish you just did, or you're going to lose your new fortune!

I wish my mother finally had a horse, just so she'll stop talking about it!


----------



## Dr Morbius

*giddyup!*

You're mom buys a horse. A talking horse, of course of course, but whoever heard of a talking horse? Unless of course that talking horse is the famouse Mr. Ed! 

Now the horse never stops talking about HER!

I wish all my bills were paid by someone else.


----------



## roadkill

KASHOLA! all your bills are now being paid by your wife - using the exact same account as before - so you're still out the same money. Ain't life grand?

I wish I could get motivated to work on my props.


----------



## turtle2778

SHAZAM YOU NOW ARE SO MOVITATED TO WORK ON YOUR PROPS THAT YOU MISS WORK AND YOUR BOSS CALLS AND SAYS "HEY KID DONT COME BACK." LOOK AT IT THIS WAY, YOU DONT NEED TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT NOT GOING TO WORK ANYMORE.

I WISH I COULD FIND THE PERFECT HALLOWEEN COSTUME


----------



## Sinister

The Evil Djinn, after a long slumber feels the polishing of the tarnished lamp and comes running. Since you didn't specify turtle what you think is the perfect Halloween costume, then I will assume by your handle you like Turtles. Hence, you shall have a turtle costume on that's so realistic that it melds to and conforms to your body. Soon, you become a tortoise leaving your human life behind. You swim out to sea, sad and forlorn, that is until a hungry Great White swims by and swallows you down. That is, of course, after a little shakin' and a little tenderizin'.

I wish I had a Literary Agent.


----------



## claymud

Congrats you now have a literary agent. The only thing is he takes your manuscripts and sells them to other writters to sell. All you books are best sellers... their just not under your name.

I wish I had enough money to buy a good video camra...


----------



## grapegrl

*cHa-CHINggggg!*

You now have enough money to buy a good video camera, but you decide to blow it on beer and hookers instead. (shame on you!)  

I wish to have lots of business when I open the vineyard up tomorrow!


----------



## Sinister

There is a lot of business. The Mob muscles in on your vineyard, because they are about to muscle in on all grape producing farms to make a killing in the wine making business and if owners do not make a deal, they really will make a killing...literally! So be warned; you don't want to be fertilizing your own grapes.

I wish I didn't have to go shopping today and someone could do it for me.

(PS. It only seems appropriate that The Evil Djinn be doing the 666th post. The Evil Djinn rules all! Bwa-Hahahahaha!)


----------



## Dr Morbius

LOL! 666th post...

Ok, you hire a personal shopper to go get everything you need. Problem is, he has very bad taste and buys you pink jumpsuits and cinnimon flavored sushi.

I wish I had free gasoline for life.( a LONG life!)


----------



## DeathTouch

Oh, you get free gas my friend. And it is a good thing the Israeli freedom fighters are right by your side. Of course your pump is on fire so put it out.

I wish I were done with my Halloween props.


----------



## Dr Morbius

You're done with your props, but only because you are burned out from Halloween, and Christmas and focus on Easter instead. Your list of Easter props is a mile long, so hop to it, Peter Cotton-Tail!

I wish I had a chocolate egg.


----------



## Spooklights

You have a chocolate egg!
Unfortunately, it's about 5 years old, and was stuck down between the couch cushions. 

I wish I had a new shed to store all my Halloween props in.


----------



## roadkill

And a new shed you have. All your halloween props are safely stored and put away neatly just waiting for the next season. There's even room to add more props as you go.

Unfortunately you neglected to get the proper building permits and one day, while you are out of the house, a city wrecking crew arrives and flattens your brand new shed with a bulldozer. All squished flat as a pancake. To exist no more.

I wish I would have the money to afford adding new props and effects.


----------



## Dr Morbius

BLing!

The money rolls in from your new found venture. It's OK, being a crack dealer isn't so bad, untill Trixie, the two toofed crack-whore gets her pimp to bust a cap in you for over charging her for her rocks.

I wish I had a magic pizza


----------



## roadkill

Ala ka Rolaids! You have your pizza. It is VERY magical (at least according to the delivery guy). He made SURE it was covered with the "special" mushrooms just like you wanted.

You are so far gone in your delusions and dreams that you hallucinate your way through Halloween. Damn! Missed another one! Grrrrrrr.... oh well, there's always next year.

I wish I could come up with a wish that couldn't get perverted or distorted in any way.


----------



## Sinister

That's the problem, isn't it? You can't come up with ANYTHING! This means you can't figure out how to tie your shoes anymore, balance a check book, even to do something as simple as wipe your butt after you take a dump, to say nothing of making something so piddling as a wish. Looks like the wish took a header after all, huh? 

It's raining now, thunderstorm actually. I wish it would keep it up all through tomorrow.


----------



## gypsichic

good morrrrrrrrrrrrrrrning! evel gys at your beckon call Mr. Sin

a thunderstorm you want - a thunderstorm you shall have ..............all the way thru tomorrow
complete with 80 mph winds, softball size hail, massive strikes of lightening

oh did I mention horizontal rain???...............all this while you are out running those errands and doing that dreaded shopping!

not only do you have to pull over numerous times cuz you can't see ****, but softball size hail plummets your car - busting your windshield......too bad after you finally arrive home..........as your wrestling with your packages to get from your car to the door you are struck by lightening!

love those storms.........don't you?

i wish i was an oscar meyer weinerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr................thats what i truly wanna beeeeeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeee................


----------



## Sinister

The Evil Djinn was slumbering, but is now wide awake. You are transformed into that casing filled with nitrates, pig parts and whatever else they sweep off the floor before making you and putting you in their industrial sausage press. You are packaged, and shipped in a cramped box with other unfortunate frankfurters and distributed to a grocery store, that is frequented by low-lifes who after eating you along with a six-pack of Old Milwaukee beer, vomit or **** you out whereever they decide to use a toilet. Then it's up to worms and bacteria to finish returning you to the already polluted planet. Bet you aren't glad to be an Oscar Meyer, or any weiner right now.

I wish my movie and scripts could already be in production.


----------



## Sinister

Seems like I'm not the only spellcaster sleeping these days...


----------



## gypsichic

indeed............<yawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwn>

this old & moldy genie is slowly comin' alive.................

congratulations btw...........your movie & scripts are already in production as we speak..............problem is the production manager falls ill w/a mysterious disease and is down for 3 months.........the fill in hired is incompetent and drinks too much..........and as for the casting manager .........well her taste is just plain ass BAD! your movie is a B rate at best and thats pushing it.........sales are really low and it ends up costing you more than you make!

thanks for calling me! always glad to be of service!!! 

I wish i was at MY home where it is right now (not in some remote dessert) working on my paper mache skulls


----------



## Koumajutsu

Granted! And there you are chained to the work bench... oh, and it looks like you're running low on paper... 

I wish i was as good at making props as half the people here.


----------



## Sinister

You are now as good as some of the folks here. You are a prop making fool and you have ideas that will shame even large studios with big production dollars. Yet, when you are just about to bring home all of the materials in which to build the props that will wow the Halloween community, you get sideswiped by a car on your way home. The subsequent accident dashes the ideas right out of your mind, and now your average first grader can make better props than you can.

I wish I could really help a good friend of mine with their problems.


----------



## gypsichic

almost didn't hear you.............wish you could help a good friend w/all their problems do you???

well alrighty then...........you become their armchair psychologist.........they call you day and night w/their problems - they become obsessed w/you like in that old movie w/richard dryfus.......What About Bob

you become so emeshed in this other persons life that you ignore your own.........including your buisness ventures and opportunites slip thru your fingers

one day you look up to see that you have lost yourself and have no life of your own.........oh and your friend went to treatment and therapy and is now much healthier and taking care of their own life

I wish the drive to texas was over with already


----------



## Sinister

The drive to Texas is now over of course, but it would seem you did some very bad things while there and as a result are no longer a welcome visitor. In fact, those things were so bad that there is a warrant out for your arrest wanted dead or alive. They don't want you back there but are more than willing to have you ajudicated elsewhere...pressing full charges of couse!

I wish i could get "THE" Phone call where it concerns the best direction my career is going to go.


----------



## Sinister

Am I the only Evil Djinn working this street now? :googly:


----------



## gypsichic

looks like you're it!

now that i'm back from my mini vacation on my magic carpet i'll work the other side of the street...............

sooooooooo...........you get THE CALL

to go to work at Taco Bell..........you didn't really specify which direction you thought your career would be best going towards............lol

you work 16 hr days..........5 days a week just to make ends meet.......just another day in paradise

i wish i could get FE's goat


----------



## gypsichic

HEY!!! where oh wherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre is my evil djinn???


----------



## Sinister

FE is very upset. You got his goat, and sacrificed it to the Powers of Darkness for more power than the Evil Djinn possesses. Alas, FE got to me first and since I am THE Absolute in Evil, I have no intention of giving you more power than me. Instead, I now turn you into FE's new goat to do with what he will. It will be interesting to see what mischief he foments against his new goat for doing in his once beloved first goat. 

I wish I had more ice cold Mountain Dew in my cup.


----------



## gypsichic

lmaoooooooooo..............too funny evil djinn...........i'll have to think on this one..........


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Me likes it!!! LMAO!!!


----------



## gypsichic

shut up FE!!!


----------



## gypsichic

ice cold mountain dew in your cup is what you want and that is just what you shall have my little djinn...........that dew is colder than dry ice ever thought about being.......when you take a sip it automatically freezes your mouth shut onto the glass while still taking a drink. it dissolves your tongue, and your vocal cords........leaving you literally speechless forever

you may still have more power than me djinn however you no longer have the power to talk in order to communicate your powerful magic

I wish Sin and hella lived happily ever after


----------



## gypsichic

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


----------



## Sinister

Somebody else will have to take this one. I cannot work magic against myself...


----------



## gypsichic

skeered are we?


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Simple wish Goat Woman.....

Sin and Hella, happy as can be, though both ending up dead to find there true happiness,








Now together forever, Haunting their own house but not being very good at it.

I wish the boil on my butt would burst


----------



## Sinister

Due to my wish granting for Gyps, she is there to burst that boil on your but with her ramming speed and extra hard horns. She hits you so hard that you slam into a wall and wind up with broken bones, multiple bruises and a concussion. The boil is no more but what a price you had to pay! Them there goats can be dangerous creatures, especially when they were once women who didn't want to be goats.

I wish I didn't have a bad case of indigestion right now.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Pepto!

A pair of magic Alka-Seltzer tablets appear magically on your bedside table. Desperate for relief, you plop-plop-fizz-fizz them in your cold cup of Mountain Dew. Downing the concoction has an unusal reaction which results in your esophagous spasming out of control. You roll on the floor in agony as the convulsions worsen, culminating in the vomiting up of your own stomach. It lies slimy and pulsing on the floor. You gasp through the intestine still hanging from your mouth as you witness its explosion, spilling Alka-Dew all over your bedroom rug and walls. 

Your indigetion is, however, cured.

I wish my computer would quit crashing.


----------



## Spooklights

Your wish has been granted by the Geek Genie! The personality of HAL 9000, the intelligent computer from 2001, a Space Odyssey, has been installed on your hard drive. Unfortunately, HAL is even more intelligent than anyone suspected. It absorbs all the files on your computer (especially your Halloween files), then takes over. Unauthorized shipments of props, building materials, and sound effect cd's eventually break the bank and make you bankrupt. Meanwhile, good ol' HAL keeps going merrily along, taking over your household electronics, your neighborhood, and finally the world. Maybe you should have just bought a laptop. 

I wish I was on vacation.


----------



## gypsichic

someone summoned the Evil Gyps?

Badda bing badda boomdiboom!

you are now on a lovely and long ass vacation in the frozen tundra of Siberia (you can thank the evil djinn for the idea) 
you are alone, end up going thru all your supplies and low and behold have been forgotten about by your private pilot that dropped you off. You end up starving to death and no one ever knows what ever happened to you.

hows that for a vacation?

I wish I was no longer a goat


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

I wish I could help you...best I can do is give you all the tires you can chew!


----------



## gypsichic

lmao.........you are just wrong!


----------



## Dr Morbius

KA-Baaaaaaa!

Your wish to revert from the shape of a goat is granted. You are now a llama.

I wish my other car was fixed.


----------



## gypsichic

alakazam! your wish is my command

your other car is fixed............or rigged rather

with lots a baling wire and duct tape..........it will get you from point A to point B however the car is a rattletrap from hell

I wish my back was in place and my neck would stop hurting


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy your friendly genie here


piffff

You are now fixed, your neck is no longer hurting and you back is in place, though it appears you head is now where your butt was?

I wish it was last week!


----------



## gypsichic

.......







....... dammit!

guess whooooooooooooo-oooooooooooo???

want it last week do you?

badda bing badda boom!

you are now in last week............which means you are a week off compared to the rest of the world..........which means your bank acct is screwed up, your bills are screwed up.........your customers are pissed and all because you're a week behind schedule!!!

i wish FE a long and prosperous life


----------



## Sinister

FE has a rich and prosperous life. The bad thing is he has to live several lifetimes of woe, poverty and strife to achieve this. Blame it all on Bhuddism and karma, that is just simply the way it is. So by my estimations and placements of dark spells, Jeff will be a very wealthy, fulfilled millionaire somewhere in the neighborhood of the year of 3030. Maybe...

I wish I were finished with the screenplays I am working on.


----------



## Dr Morbius

*Windows startup sound*....

You are done with your screenplays! And they all captivate the studios and agents you submit them too..Unfortunately, you ended all of them with the sentence.."And they lived happily ever after"..which ruined any deal or chance you might have had.

I wish cats barked instead of meowed.


----------



## TearyThunder

Meow.....consider that the last meow you will ever hear. All cats now sound like they are Chihuahuas barking to you. Too bad your hearing is super sensitive to their barks and you can hear every one of them within a 5 mile radius.

I wish California was closer to Georgia.


----------



## Koumajutsu

and with a massive earthquake, california suddenly changes sides of the country, sharing the east coast with Georgia. Unfortuantely, i was gambling in Vegas that day and am now stranded on what remains the west coast.


I wish -I- was closer to georgia


----------



## TearyThunder

With a wave of my hand and a nod of my head, you suddenly appear in Turkey which borders Georgia.

I wish I was done with all my props.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof!

Your done with all your props. Since you didn't specify WHICH holiday props you were done with, you finish all your Easter props. Too bad you spent all your time on those cute little bunnies because those are all you have to put out for Halloween.

I wish Ritz crackers tasted like Oreo cookies.


----------



## gypsichic

gooooooooooood morrrrrrrrrrr-rrrrrrrrrning!!! Evil Gyps at your service!

so you want ritz to taste like oreos huh? 

TAaaaaaaaaaaa-daaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! they now do

the problem is...........no matter what you eat that has ritz in them it tastes like oreos..........so you have chicken rolled in ritz crackers to form that tasty crust when baked.........now it tastes like oreos mixed w/chicken
and you develop a huge craving for ritz crackers..........you end up becoming obsessed w/them.........you eat them w/everything........ignoring the carbs and the taste ..........making you gain gobs of weight and giving you acid reflux

I wish it was still the weekend


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Easy wish for Jiffy the Genie









pif

It's always the weekend for you, though, you never knew the difference anyways, 'cause you've been a goat. Not just an ordinary goat, but a hairy goat.
So now you just spend your days chewing all the rubber tires you wish.

I wish I had more Goats!


----------



## Sinister

The Evil Djinn responds to this one. It seemingly slipped many's notice that I am almost directly responsible for this entire goat business, but...a wish is a wish and I must grant, because those are the rules. 

You want more goats, FE? So be it. EVERYONE you come in contact with (excluding me, of course. I cannot work magic against myself and have put in a little something extra special this time around as not to EVER be affected by such spells) becomes a goat. Soon, very soon, the incessant bleating and pungent stench becomes unbearable and you are driven to the crumbling brink of insanity. Too make matters worse, Gyps, your first goat is extremely jealous (she was once a woman after all) of all your new pets and goes on goat killing spree. Not only are you going to have to dispose of all those rotting goat bodies, but she is saving you for last, buddy. A stand-off is coming. Serial Goat Killer vs. Psychotic Goat Herder. Place your bets, folks!

I wish a major studio would option my screenplay, like, NOW!


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Most excellent Sinister, wonderful!


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Your Evil Genie Jiffy here








granting the most unbelievable wishes.

pif










A major studio has picked you up, Disney is at your front door.
They want to adapt your writtings into animation.
It looks like a few tugs and pulls with a little rewriting, you on your way to the newest of the disney legacy......FINDING NEMO 2...But you do get creative control on the old toothless Great White Shark.

I wish for many campfires with all my HauntForum friends.


----------



## gypsichic

the jealous Gyps Goat Genie is patiently waiting................

Sorry about that, must have gotten a phone call and hit enter, doh!


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Well I'm waiting????Herder of the Hairy Goats blows the whistle......Rings the bell....cracks the whip....


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Needs I cast my owm spell fot this wish???


----------



## Dr Morbius

You want sumthin'?









Ok...
You are at a roaring campfire with all your forum friends..both of them fall in and are burned to death...hehe..

I wish my cat could earn all the money in the family.


----------



## gypsichic

lol...........looks like someone beat me to it!!!

your goat was out eating a cow last night............i got tired of those ole' rubber tires!!!

looky here! another wish to grant! 

abra cadabraaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

your cat now has an earning potential 10x higher than you..........which means that he or she is the "Master" and you are the pet.........guess who takes over the cat's job of chasing mice and rodents? that would be you!
which means the cat banishes you to outdoors for most of the time no matter what the weather. 

I wish i had a caramel latte


----------



## Sinister

The Evil Djinn delivers the wished for Latte. In it, there is a potion to cure your goatishness. But there is a catch: It cures you yes, but everytime you drink a latte you turn back into a goat, drink another, you become a woman again and so on and so forth, and you have an insatiable thirst for them. It's a vicious cycle that has no end.

I wish all my bills were paid up until the day I die.


----------



## gypsichic

Afternoon Sin...............with a snap of my fingers all of your bill are paid up until the day you die...............which is tomorrow

damn the luck!

I wish i was no longer a goat but a woman (until the day i die) again


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy declines your wish








He has invested in to many rubber tires to let you loose:devil:


----------



## gypsichic

lmaoooooooooooooooo 

you suck Jiffy


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

I'm sure someone will honor your request...LOL


----------



## Sinister

Gyps calls and the Evil Djinn answers. Okay, the woman thing can happen. You are no longer the tire munching goat FE wants you to be, but now you are a shut-in that weighs a half ton with a full beard. Didn't say what type of woman and I didn't know how you felt with looking sort of like Jessica Simpson, so I went to the other extreme. Hey! At least you are no longer Jeff's goat! Not so sure that you're better off though....

I wish I had so many movie offers that I didn't know where to begin making deals.


----------



## gypsichic

lmao.............oh thats greeeeeeeeeeeee-aaaaaaaate Evil Djinn..........just great


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted!

You have exactly 1 million movie deals, and since you don't know where to begin with them, you never do. 60 Years pass as you mull them over, but by the time are ready to narrow them down, movies are passe' as everyone is into live broadway musical productions now. Not exactly your forte', you make the effort and produce a horror musical called "FE's Goat Harem".
It, of course, flops.

I wish all the eggs in my fridge turned to gold.


----------



## Sinister

With a title like that, how could it not fail?  

Eggs turning into gold...fools gold, and not worth a dime. In the rush to satisfy your greed, you go out to try to have the things appraised for value and are laughed out of the jewelry store that you take them. "But...they're gold! A genie granted my wish! They're gold!!" You protest. Alas, your rantings and ravings get you no where but a nice padded cell in Belleview, where you can look at your "pretty little gold eggs," until the the cows come home...that is until one of your asylum mates steals them in the day room, shoves them up his ass and squirts them out everywhere in hidden places because he thinks he's a chicken. 

I wish only my favorite TV shows came on the tube everyday in lieu of the other **** they show.


----------



## gypsichic

lololol...........FE's Goat Harem................toooooooooo funny


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

agree'd ....lol


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ok...Kapow!

You're favorite shows now appear on the tube. You didn't specify which tube, so the next time you stand at the urinal at your favorite restraunt you are stunned to see all your favorite shows glaring up at you from Mr. Happy. 

Yes, forevermore, your favorite shows will appear on Mr. Happy's Good Time Hour.

I wish I could get that image of Sinisters portable TV out of my mind.


----------



## Johnny Thunder

Shazam! 

You enter your bathroom to find a madman hiding behind the shower curtin. He proceeds to drug you and then saw your head open and eat out chunks of your brain. There - problem solved - the image is literally "out" of your mind.

I wish the Eagles would win the Super Bowl...er, the "Big Game" this season.


----------



## Sinister

The Evil Djinn grants thine wish, but as is always his wont, dire consequences follows in my wake. Philly wins the Bowl, but no one is pleased. There is a riot that makes the ones in Europe when such events occur, seem like a Sunday school picnic by way of comparison. The violence breaks from the stadium, spills into the streets and encompasses several states. Like wildfire, this must settle itself, because it is of such magnitude that nothing short of a nuclear blast will end its fury. When it is realized you are the culprit behind this disaster, you are taken out in the street and clubbed to death with bottles of cheap beer. Afterward, miraculously, the riot ceases and everyone goes home, slapping high fives and cheerfully reminiscing about the wonderful melee they were all a part of. 

I wish good football games were on all day today.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ref whistle....
Your wish is granted...
Good football games are now available to you which you may access anytime! You have Madden 2006 and NFL Blitz, to name a few. Great football video games..hope you have enough beer and chips!
I wish there were a horror movie marathon on TV everyday. (Not DVD's..hehe)


----------



## Johnny Thunder

Your wish is granted....

unfortunately, the channel that will show these films is fueled by the blood, flesh and spirt of everyone in your family, everyone you know and everyone you've ever seen, spoken to or worked with....and one year per minute of your life.....at first you don't care, really...until you realize slowly but surely every time you turn on the TV your friends, family and loved ones die....and your life ticks away with each commerical break........within an hour you are dead, while the marathon goes on and on and on and on and on............

I wish that I could win a contest with a grand prize of all the beer I can drink for the rest of my life.


----------



## Koumajutsu

and so one day you enter a christmas prop challange for a $20 elf and you take the top prize for an elf made out of recycled halloween props. The prize, a 12 pack of Amstel Light. You decide to drink it anyways, cause who would give up free beer, but the first can you open was tainted when anti-freeze had gotten mixed in at the brewery. The toxins kill you, but at least you got one last beer 


I wish I had a nicer place to live for the same price, or cheaper than i'm paying now.


----------



## Johnny Thunder

You notice a building you've never seen before that looks brand new. Seems to have sprung up overnight. Wonderful new two story apartments, with beautiful views, all the modern comforts you ever could need or want, and the rent is half of what you are paying now. You sign the lease, move in that day, and then take a nap.

Not knowing that carbon monoxide has started leaking into your new place and continues all day and night. You never wake up from that nap.

But at least your final resting place had cheaper rent.

I wish that I could travel the world and learn hidden magical secrets.


----------



## gypsichic

you rang JT?

so you wanna travel the world and learn hidden magical secrets huh?

if you insist...........you are a modern day Indiana Jones........you barely get done running for cannibels in far away lands and learning of magic crystals and ancient secrets before you find yourself once again in a jam trying to find the next hidden secret. You have no life except this.........makes settling down and having a family impossible.......you are constantly running, jumping, throwing yourself over cliffs, and barely excaping w/your life that you forget all about your current life and next thing you know you're 102 and your past is long forgotten except for all the magical hidden secrets you discovered.....you die a bitter, lonely person.

I wish it were time to blow this pop stand and go home


----------



## Sinister

The Evil Djinn is faced with a dilemma on this one: Do we go the Paris Hilton way of blowing on this one, or Osama Bin Laden? Lets get harsh and go totally Al-Qaida style. Gyps blows up her particular pop stand, but she doesn't stop there. She can't help herself for some unknown reason (Hmmmmm...) blows up several more and then becomes the object of a world wide manhunt. You will never have a moments rest now....yet, I am in an uncharacteristic generous mood so I can change my decision this once and go the way of that no talent bimbette if you like? Your choice. :devil: 

I wish I could get rid of this damn hacking cough.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Well Jiffy here









With a rasie of my hand and a flick of my wand









You are cured from the hacking cough, but...........
it has to go somewhere?

You cough is now coming from your _behind









_Sorry Dude, not a good way to start out your weekend.

I wish breakfast was waiting for me this morning.


----------



## TearyThunder

You wish is my command.............
Your breakfast was waiting on in the kitchen for you this morning. However you woke to your breakfast making a ruckus, the pig who was harrasing the chicken who was laying the eggs. 

I wished it didn't rain so I could get started on the yard set up.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Well Jiffy can't dissappoint you









You're glad to see the rain coming to an end....
Unfortunatly, the temperture drops to below freezing and the snow begins.
A solid month long snow....looks like you missed halloween this year 

I wish I had more money


----------



## gypsichic

you ask you shall receive.............too bad its only monopoly money........and your creditors are tired of your phoney money

a warrent for your arrest is issued and you end up spending halloween in jail

bummer!

i wish i hadn't eaten so much mexican food for lunch


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

"i wish i hadn't eaten so much mexican food for lunch"

I bet the rest of your co-wokers feel the same way! lol


----------



## gypsichic

at least i'm not in a wetsuit!!!


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

gypsichic said:


> at least i'm not in a wetsuit!!!


Well, ....good point!


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy here to grant you that incredible wish









You no longer feel that you've eaten too much of the mexican food, 'cause it now passes right through you.
Ever heard the term "*Screamin Meanies*"?

Beware what you wish for!

I wish it would stay 70 degrees all year long.


----------



## Johnny Thunder

shazam.

you get your wish. it stays 70 degrees all year round. it is perfect. you enjoy your backyard, with the fires and the camping and the parties. it is so nice, in fact, that you spend way more time outside than you do inside on the message board posting and ridiculing people for ****ing up the word association game. warm weather, of course, breeds insects, including mosquitos.....

mosquitos breed and breed and breed..........and carry diseases, like west nile virus.

one night you go outside after a long night of posting (almost reaching your 10,000th post), and sit down in the tall lush grass. OUCH dammit you yell as you swat a fly. or was it one of those mosquitos????

yes, sadly, you meet your end. your memory, of course, and your blue boa, are honored on hauntforum.com for all of time..........................

i wish i was rich and famous.


----------



## grapegrl

ching-ching-a-bling-bling!

Your limo is here, sir. That's right, you're rich AND famous. Unfortunately for you that means that Paris Hilton is instantly attracted to you like a fly on stink. Speaking of stink, your proximity to Ms. Hilton results in a flaming case of the clap. Your pee-pee falls off. Oh, well...you still have money and fame. Is that the _National Enquirer_ I hear outside?

I wish my new kitchen cabinet doors would hurry up and be ready!


----------



## Hella

rat a tat tat

your new kitchen cabinet doors are ready and waiting to be installed, of course the rest of your kitchen is months away from being completed, you have to wash dishes in the bathroom and cook off a hot-plate in the living room, but the cabinets are gorgeous too bad the rest of the room is in shambles still.

I wish my the last flight I have to work tonight was on time


----------



## Koumajutsu

And like a flash *poof* your flight is suddenly on time!
unfortunately, the computers have gone down and noone boarding passes can be verified. Also with a sudden new change in Airport screening, -ALL- people in the airport are now subject to full cavity searches, on the hour, including employees. also, 5 people before your turn.... they run out of rubber gloves. Enjoy your wish 

I wish someone here hadn't hogged all teh working dryers, leaving me to hang dry all my laundry.


----------



## Hella

bang-bop-bee

you were able to use the dryer to dry your clothes instead of hanging them out, but sadly they shrunk all your favorite shirts, turned all your whites pink and the dreaded sock monster ate one sock from each pair. 

I wish I was getting a new tatoo this week


----------



## Dr Morbius

Zap!

You got it..Unfortunately, it is across your forehead and it says "Zippety-doo-da".

I wish I didn't have to go to the dentist to take care of this toothache.


----------



## PrettyGhoul

*Your wish is granted.

You find yourself whisked away to Skull Island where a fearsome, toothless, witch doctor yanks out your teeth, one by one, as prehistoric monsters roar in the distance. 

I wish my ghost ship was ready and set up for Halloween and all components worked perfectly.*


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof! Your ghostship is all setup and ready to GO! All components work perfectly..so much so, it attracts a REAL ghostship that shoots a cannon at it, turning it to so many splinters on your lawn.

I wish I had a Baby Flinger


----------



## Johnny Thunder

Say you!

Your wish is granted, but unfortuantely, the authorities are monitoring your phone calls and emails, and intercept your desire for a 'baby flinger.' Fearing the worst about you, they set up a sting and given this election year, are determined to make headlines. They orchestrate an entire indictment against you, which is heads quckly to trial and you are convicted of child abuse, and other various and sundry offenses, which guarantee you the electric chair by special appointment. Adios, amigo.

I wish I never had to work again.


----------



## Koumajutsu

a flash of light and a sonic boom!

you are suddenly crippled in a colision between a school bus and a cement truck... on the one day you rode your moped without a helmet.
you now eat through a straw and cant feel anything from the neck down, but at least you don't ever have to work again.

I wish I could make props as good as Krough can


----------



## Bone Dancer

Bong, your new found skill with mache and bones and cloth is amazing, but your mind is a blank and your doomed to only copy others for you have no creative imagination from where the wounderous and amazing props begin.

I wish the weather on Halloween was mild and calm every year.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Shazaam!

You now live and celebrate Halloween in Death Valley. Not many Trick or Treaters though!

I wish I had a bigger yard to haunt.


----------



## Bone Dancer

Ja saam, You now live across from me in death valley and you got all the yard you want and the weather is nice too.

I wish they made the bluckies 6ft tall.


----------



## Hella

alakazaaam

bluckies are now available at the wonderous height of 6ft tall, they only cost $299.00 with a service charge of $899.00 for the extra plastic that has to be blown and then there is the low low shipping cost of $497.23! a bargain for sure, how many can I put you down for?

I wish I was better at math


----------



## Sinister

*cough cough* This is the sound The Evil Djinnmakes when the jewel in which he dwells is dusted off and he is set free from his confines.

With a blink of my eyes it is done. Math has now become so to where you solve all the mysteries of the universe and beyond. You are a genius when it comes to the toughest of equations, doing things even scientists in their almost immeasurable I.Q.'s have only dreamed of.

To relay all your discoveries, you must have a grasp for things such as grammar and language which unfortunately, you have sacrificed to become a mathmatics whiz. Sorry, you have only yourself to run these lovely sets of numbers and problem solving by as you are the only one able to understand them.

I wish I can get things going for my career when I fly out to L.A. this weekend.


----------



## Johnny Thunder

Sinister said:


> *cough cough* This is the sound The Evil Djinnmakes when the jewel in which he dwells is dusted off and he is set free from his confines.
> 
> With a blink of my eyes it is done. Math has now become so to where you solve all the mysteries of the universe and beyond. You are a genius when it comes to the toughest of equations, doing things even scientists in their almost immeasurable I.Q.'s have only dreamed of.
> 
> To relay all your discoveries, you must have a grasp for things such as grammar and language which unfortunately, you have sacrificed to become a mathmatics whiz. Sorry, you have only yourself to run these lovely sets of numbers and problem solving by as you are the only one able to understand them.
> 
> I wish I can get things going for my career when I fly out to L.A. this weekend.


Hey man - I don't think anybody should mess up that wish for ya


----------



## Dr Morbius

I think Sin should make a new wish!


----------



## Johnny Thunder

Dr Morbius said:


> I think Sin should make a new wish!


The board has spoken, Mad Titan :devil:


----------



## Sinister

Fair enough. I wish I had an all you can eat buffet in front of me that had nothing but the things I liked on it. Fresh and cooked to perfection.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Well now, lookey here....
It's me Jiffy









the Answerer Of All Wishes!

Piff









Let's see......
Yes, you are all spread out, freshly gutted and cooked to perfection.
You lay atop delicious potatoes, carrots, onions and covered in the finest of herbs and spices.

You even made it on the cover of Martha!

It 's just too bad you only have 2 legs ('cause you now everyone wants a leg!)

I wish i had more organized room for all my Halloween stuff.


----------



## gypsichic

*cough cough achooooooo* 

that dust is killin me!

you rang Answerer Of All Wishes??? 

organization is what you want organization is what you shall have........a professional organizer is on her way...........to help you w/your halloween stuff.........she looks like your 100 yro high school typing teacher and is a no nonsense kinda gal.............picked her myself just for you 

soooooooooooo she gets right down to buisness organizing everything from your biggest prop to your littlest spider..........problem being she's not a h'ween buff so while you were out diving without me I told her to use her own judgement about what to throw away! 
now you have pieces and parts of this prop and that prop all squared away, labeled nice and neat however nothing makes up one prop!

but hey..........its organized

I wish all the leaves in my yard were raked and bagged


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Well one good granted wish deservers another!

Jiffy was so impressed with your choice of help, decided to use the same lovely woman you have chosen for me...
That being said, well, as it appears she's not much for physical labor so she organized all of the detention children to stop by and rake all of the leaves up for her. The her amazement the kids had it done in no time. she didn't even have to tell them to put them in bags and toss to the curb.

As you return home you find that your lawn looks beautiful!

It's unfortunate that she didn't explain in detail where they were to put the leaves. 
So as you open your front door, you find leaves bagged from floor to ceiling!
From one Genie to another!

I wish I had a magic wand.


----------



## gypsichic

LOL

how KIND of you Jiffy.............

most men are blessed w/a 'magic wand' .............. and you are nooooooo exception..........your 'wand' is your left index finger (get your minds outta the gutter people!)
problem is your magic wand turns things to goat poop instead of gold! 

gotta love that wand!

I wish starbucks delivered


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy never fails to please!
Now let's see what we have here...

Starbucks.....?

You goit it Gyps!
Delivered to your door is a Herd of Deer (The Star Bucks) in tight thongs, singing wonderful Christmas tunes to you at 2:00 am (closing bar time of course) .
It was my pleasure!

I wish I had Aladdin's Lamp.


----------



## Johnny Thunder

Your wish is granted.

You wake up one fine Michigan morning, ready to jump on Hauntforum and unleash your wit on the board, when you feel a bit uncomfortable. You realize you have a lamp stuck where the sun don't shine, and unfortunately, you have the end where a genie could come out inside your bum. Naively, you rub the lamp and make a wish, only to have the genie emerge and blow you up. No wish shall be granted.....althought the genie is happy he has a new boa to flaunt to the other djiin. 

I wish I knew what to do with my life.


----------



## TipoDeemin

Done, and done!

You are filled with a new sense of purpose, a perfect understanding of your role in this world, and baby, it's to collect shoes! Other people's shoes! Other people's _worn_, smelly shoes! You clear out a room in your house and craft display cubbies along all the walls, and then you begin collecting. You stop people on the street, flash large bills, and buy the dirty sneakers right off strangers' feet. You surreptitiously unlace and remove the loafers off of people who are distracted by something else, like a newspaper or that punch you threw that knocked them out. And lo and behold, your collection grows!

'Course, your family isn't too happy with it, as so many stinky pairs of shoes in the house make the whole place a little rancid. But hey, when they all leave you, their rooms are free space for more shoes!

I wish I could motivate myself to quit slacking off and start painting again.


----------



## Johnny Thunder

Open sezame............

One fine crisp autumn morning you wake up to find that you cannot resist the urge to paint..............your body. You strip and paint and paint and paint all over your naked bod, and can't wait to show the public your "masterpiece". You run outside, show everyone you can find, until the police arrive and put you in a straightjacket. Convicted, you are sent to Gotham City and spend the rest of your life in a padded cell in Arkham, arms confined, unable to ever paint again or wipe off that last bit of masterpiece from your back.

I wish I could be rid of my inlaws.


----------



## Fangs

Your wish is Granted!

And because of your grief the remaining members of her side *and* your side come to help you through this rough time in your life..... And they plan to stay as long as it takes to help you get through it. :devil:

I wish I had my Dragula to drive around in. :>


----------



## Sinister

Your Dragula...I have granted you the wish you desire and you think it's yours, but Rob Zombie has some issues with it and comes looking for you. He isn't pleased at all and as such, brings his brigade that starred in *The Devil's Rejects *who for this occasion are taking their roles a bit too seriously. I can't even begin to tell you what atrocities they have planned for you. Needless to say when the smoke clears, Zombie is slammin' in the back of his Dragulaaaaa!

I wish my bodily pains I have at this moment would go away permanently.


----------



## Johnny Thunder

So cool - your wish is granted.

Sin - you don't like those horrible, sharp, life threatening, awful body pains that torture you each moment of your existence.............guess what? The way that the genie can cure you permanently?

You drop dead. Right now. 

And rot in the moist dark toxix ground. 

End of story.

I wish that I could be happy.


----------



## Sinister

The Evil Djinn comes when he is called. Since unhappiness is in practically every facet of life, then I also give you death. You and I then can hang out in the afterlife and talk about comics, Horror films, Music, hotties and TV shows. Now how is that for happiness? 

I wish my breakfast were already cooked.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Short and sweet.....Jiffy grants thee his wish....
You need not look far my friend, you find a lost breakfast from weeks earlier still waiting to be eatin' in your microwave....Enjoy!!

I wish I had an old fashion sleigh to display out in my yard.


----------



## Bone Dancer

Granted Jeff, but we had to move you back in time 100 years to find one, sorry. I hope you dont miss the electronic age to much. And by the way, it comes with horses too, heres your shovel.

I wish i could go to any place I wanted with a snap of a finger, instantanously, with no ill effects.


----------



## Dr Morbius

HO Ho ho!!

You now have the most beautiful old fashioned sleigh in the world sitting on your lawn. Gold leaf gilding and old world craftmanship adorn the mammal- powered transport. After learing at it for hours, you retire for the evening, with mama in her kerchief and you in your cap, to settle your brain for a long winters' nap.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
you sprang from your bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window you flew like a flash,
tore open the shutter, and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
gave the lustre of midday to that sleigh below,
when, what to your wondering eyes should appear,
but a very pissed off Santa and eight angry Reindeer.


With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
you knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name: "Kill Dasher! Kill Dancer!
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
Sick-em, Comet! Sick-em, Cupid!
On, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall! Now murder away! Murder away!
Murder them all!" 

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
with the Reindeer full of anger, and St. Nicholas too.

He was dressed to kill, from his head to his foot,
and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of weapons he had flung on his back,
and he looked like a soldier just opening his pack. 

His eyes--how they flamed! His dimples, like pits!
His cheeks were like rocks, his nose covered in zits!
His droll little mouth was pearsed tight like a bow,
and the beard on his chin was as black as a crow.
The stump of a Stogey he held tight in his teeth,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a six-pack belly,
that shook when he laughed, the thought of turning you into jelly!

He was muscular and cut, a right angry old elf,
and you screamed when you saw him, in spite of yourself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave you to know that soon you'd be dead.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and filled you with bullets, then turned with a jerk.
And pointing his finger..,the middle one up in that pose,
and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.


He took back his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like a patriot missle.
But you heard him exclaim, 'ere he spoke like a trucker,
"Happy Christmas FE, you sleigh stealing Mother F*****!" 




I wish Christmas was over.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Crud... BD beat me to it before I could finish the wish!!

OK..I'll grant BD's wish..

You suddenly have the ability to instantly transport yourself anywhere you like, with no ill effects...and your fingers snap off, one by one, each time you do it. 

My previous wish stands.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Easy enough for the Jiffy








I call the big guy Santa, he has now put you on the nuaghty list where you are a permanent member, Chrsitmas is over for you 

I wish all of the HauntForum members would send me their very best halloween props.


----------



## Bone Dancer

There you are Jeff, Tons, and I do mean tons of prop stuff from all of us at HF.And knowing you would want the complete setting for the props we all set you part of the yard and walkways and buildings that they were in too. But there seems to be a very large COD billing for all of this, not to mention a storage issue too. Have fun sorting it all out.

I wish my garage was kept at 70 F degrees all year long at no cost to me and at its present location.


----------



## Nefarious1

Your wish is granted!

You garage is in the same spot 500ft below the Earth's surface in hell. That should keep it warm all year! 

I wish I made more money.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ka-ching!

You made more than money than the mint. Now the FTC, CIA and FBI are all over you for counterfieting.

I wish I was back on Santa's good list.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy







is here for you Doc....
Santa says, you're good again, Christmas is on!
You start work tomorrow for Santa, you are now the new laundry man for the elves. 
Hope you like the cold and long 18 hour days 24/7.

I wish I could grant great wishes like this all the time.


----------



## Bone Dancer

granted, you now have to stay at you computer at this site and make posts for the rest of you life. But its a short life as your wife gets feed up with you and the stench and shoots you.

I wish my pizza would get here.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ding Dong!

Your pizza is here! At my house. Thanks!

I wish BD sent me pizzas more often!


----------



## Nefarious1

Your wish is granted!

BD sends you 3 pizzas a day! Now pay up + tip!! 

I wish I could sleep more and work less.


----------



## Bone Dancer

Granted,

Your placed in a coma for the rest of you life, all sleep, no work at all

I wish i could get my pizza's delivered here.


----------



## Johnny Thunder

Shazam! Your wish is granted.

Mere seconds after you call and order your pizza, there's a knock at your door. It's the pizza delivery guy, but for some strange reason he's dressed in a black robe and carrying a scythe, but you quickly dismiss it since you're really hungry. You're too busy stuffing your face with pizza and you don't notice when he decapitates you and harvests your organs for his experiments. 

I'd like to be wealthy, healthy and wise


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof! 

You are now Benjamin Franklin.

I wish i had money with your picture on them.


----------



## BobC

Poof your wish is my command you now have Benjamin's out the waazoo which is exactly where they are coming from.

I wish George Bush would do something smart for once.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Shazaam!

(BTW, I'll take the Ben Franklins anyway I can get them! LOL)

Ok, Bush does the right thing, and resigns. Cheney is now President. Happy now?

I wish even more money would come out of my Wazoo.


----------



## BobC

Poof Your Wish Is My Command You Now Have So Many Ben's Coming Out The Waazoo That You Are Filthy Rich Problem Is Your Corn Holes The Size Of a Coffee Cup. 

I Wish They Would Bring Tales From The Crypt Back On HBO.


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

Zing zang zoom!

Your wish is granted! Don't forget to tune in to HBO tonight for all new episodes of Tales from the Crypt, Unfortunately the crpytkeeper was fire by Donald Trump for his incompetence in the Dunkin Donut Challenge. He has since been replaced by the now deceased Anna Nichol Smith! WHaaaaa

I wish my mailman would return the duct tape he _borrowed_


----------



## scareme

The duct tape is back in the garage and the police say it was never missing cause the only prints on it are yours. They are using if for evidence in the trial of the murder of your mailman's wife, the woman you were having the affair with. Looks like you'll be spending along time in jail.

I wish I ran a bed and breakfast.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof! 

You are now the owner of the infamouse Bates Motel.
Hey! Close that peephole, or I'm telling your mother!

I wish I has an infinite supply of 4th Quality bucky skulls.


----------



## slightlymad

Poof you now have an infinite supply of 4th quality bucky skulls But they all talk like Anna whoever and never shut up about la weight lose. 

I wish for a bigger garage.


----------



## dave the dead

Congratulations! You have just been given sole ownership to the largest illegal auto parts chop shop on the west coast. The mafia leaders running this outfit have erased all evidence of their involvement and established irrefutable proof that you are the mastermind behind this and a dozen other illegal operations.....oh, by the way "WE HAVE YOU COMPLETELY SURROUNDED.....COME OUT WITH YOU HANDS UP......."


I really wish I could get back to building props again.....


----------



## slightlymad

POOF your now building more props than ever before for all the worst remake horror movies possible. Most of these movies go straight to video and it is all blamed on the quality of your scenery.

I wish the wekends were mine all mine ha ha he he


My freinds would never fram me.....


----------



## dave the dead

Your wish has been granted....... But did you realize you are now the only person left at your new job changing soiled linens in the incontinence ward of the nursing home? While the rest of the staff is out sunning themselves drinking margaritas on the beach or whatever else they want to do, you are left cleaning up all those nasty messes....you'll just have to wait until Monday morning to thank whoever planned "taco and asparagus Fridays"....

I wish it wasn't supposed to rain tomorrow so I could go on a bike ride.


----------



## dflowers2

Your wish is my command. Expect much colder temperatures and blizzard, white out conditions with winds in excess of 50 - 70 mph.


I wish halloween was all year long.


----------



## dave the dead

Ok....if that's what you really want.......SHAZAMM!!! 
It all goes well for the first week or so, but then you realize that you need a second job to pay for all the candy that the neighborhood kids insist on getting every night. Because of all the candy intake, a worldwide insulin shortage sets in because of the alarming increase in juvenile diabetes. The first hard freeze in November has reduced your pumpkins to mush, which in turn get splattered all over the front of your house the first night you are working your part time job instead of doling out candy. 

I wish I had a helper monkey.


----------



## scareme

Your wish has been granted. This monkey lives only to help you. But since he has rabies he can't help but take a bite out of you once in awhile. You'll get used to the shots. But an unfortunate side effect of the rabies is that nasty diaherra. Watch out where you step. 

I wish my co-worker would stop praying out loud, especially since most of her prayers include me.


----------



## dave the dead

Poof! The praying has stopped (thank God...lol) Unfortunately, this coincides with your co-workers new-found interest in voodoo....

"What's that sharp stabbing pain in my side?" you say, as your beloved co-worker repeatedly jabs a letter opener into a crazy looking little doll he has made that vaguely resembles you........

I wish my rabid helper monkey had a warranty.


----------



## scareme

Ok Dave you asked for it. You take your rabid monkey helper back and they give you a new monkey. Your new monkey loves you. I mean really loves you, or more correctly your leg cause that's what he starts humping as soon as you get home. This monkey is humping your leg 24/7 so you're not getting any sleep and not to much to eat. You can't go anywhere cause you can't shake him off, and you can't have anyone over cause he's pretty much a conversation stopper. I would say you'er lonely, but you are never alone are you? Some people's vices are a monkey on their back, yours is on your leg. 

I wish I had a new car.


----------



## dave the dead

LMAOROTF!!!

Congratulations! You have been chosen from a nationwide market research campaign sponsored by the Chrysler Corporation to be the proud owner of the NEW 2007 Chrysler *PACER*. Proudly commemorating the 20 year anniversary of demise of AMC, Chrysler executives have decided that it is time to see if this car really was ahead of its time.....unfortunately it wasnt.

You are an instant social outcast. You attempt to cash in on the novelty of being the only owner of first nuveaux-retro automotive blunder of the 21st century by hitting the talk show circuits to exploit your 15 minutes of fame, but not even Jerry Springer will give you the time of day because of your unfortunate association with the looming downfall of the chrysler corporation. You start wearing lots of polyester leisure suits in your favorite colors ....avacado green and harvest gold. You lose your job, declare bancruptcy, and lose everything you own in the world except for your pride and joy, the 2007 Chrysler Pacer.....its a great thing it has that awesome rear panorama glass to give you a view of the alley you now call home.









I wish I could take a paid month off work.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted!

You take a whole month off work and get paid for it. You spend it sunning at the beach, skiing in Tahoe and gambling in Vegas.

Upon return to work, your boss realizes that you weren't missed at all, and decides you aren't worth keeping. Too bad you blew all your savings on Vegas! Now you have to live with Scareme in his Pacer, but no worries, it's EXTRA wide to accomodate the both of you.

I wish I got a raise at work


----------



## dave the dead

It was just UNBELIEVABLE! You walked into work and the top execs at your company invited you into the boardroom, where you were given an enormous raise, the big corner office, full membership piviledges to their exclusive club, and the key to the executive bathroom. You ask yourself "what have I done to deserve this?" It is explained that your outstanding work ethic has gotten you noticed....that man is CONSTANTLY typing away at his computer.....he never even takes a break.....obviously he is management material.
Unfortunately, with your increased wages and priviledges comes increased scrutiny in you production levels.....it is quicky noticed that what you have actually been doing is surfing the net looking at Halloween How-To's and posting to something called "Haunt Forum"
The furious execs fire you and you lose everything.....I have saved you the backseat of Scareme's Pacer.....you have to share it with my horny helper monkey who is elated to have a fresh leg to hump.

I wish I could win the showcase showdown on "The Price Is Right"


----------



## scareme

Pooff! Youv'e won the final showcase on the Price is Right. Everyone is happy for you, clapping and jumping up and down. The guy you beat out in the showcase is even happy for you jumping up and down. He really shouldn't be cause he's about 500 lbs and really out of shape. Too late, he has a heart attack and falls over on you, crushing your spine in the fall. Bob Barker comes over to help you and the old guy has a heart attacK of his own. Both men die and you are left paralized. After all the law suits are settled and with Bob gone, you are know as the guy who brought about the end of that long running, beloved show. People hate you.

I wish Al Gore would run for president. (In a fair election this time)


----------



## dave the dead

So be it. Al Gore runs for president. The election is fair. He still loses.


I wish I could re-live the 3 best days of my life.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Warp!!!!

You relive the 3 best days of your life...over and over and over for eternity. No matter how good they were, you gotta get sick of them, as you know EXACTLY what will happen, what people say, and what everyone does. BORING!
They are now the worse days of your life.

I wish Twinkies were gold

I wish


----------



## Spooklights

Congratulations! You have acquired the 'Midas Touch' and your Twinkies have turned to gold! Unfortunately, so does everything else. Your home is inhabited by golden statues that used to be your family. Vandals try to tear pieces off your golden house. You can't sleep at night because that gold bed is too hard. And finally, you starve to death because when you touch your food it turns to gold. 
Better luck next time!

I wish I had a hearse.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Abra-Cadaver!

You now own your own personal hearse...with a nice reclining seat in the back. Being dead, you wouldn't travel any other way.

I wish I had a nice fat bank account.


----------



## dave the dead

----and so it shall be forevermore.

You are unwillingly drafted into the private research lab of a mad doctor, where you are shackled and chained in his medical vault. He uses you specifically for his experiments in transporting lower life forms into human hybrids. Your role in these experiments is that of donor.....You are hooked up to a primitive liposuction device that removes all your fatty tissue, depositing it into a the evil doctor's "fat-bank".....a communal slush pool where he extracts human DNA to create his hideous mutants. Whenever your account gets low, he simply turns on the "THE DEVICE" <<evil music chimes...dum-dahhhh>>>> to painfully extract your fatty tissue.

I wish my two cats could talk.


----------



## Dr Morbius

MEOW!!!

Your cats now talk. They talk about you, to all the talkshows amazed that your cats can talk. They reveal your plans to overthrow the government, and raising the funds to do it through the sale of illicit drugs overseas and here in the US.
Suuuure, it's not true, but who's gonna believe you over two AMAZING talking cats? You are executed for treason.

I wish I could really grant wishes


----------



## dave the dead

whoosh!
You are now an almighty Genie! You can grant any wish imaginable to any living sole.

too bad you are trapped inside that bottle at the bottom of the ocean.....


I wish my grass would stay short this year.


----------



## scareme

Ta Daa!! Your grass is staying short and you won't have to mow it this summer! Ofcourse your angry neigbors call it dead but what do they know. With all the talk about property values dropping and running you out of the neighbor hood, who knows, brown lawns just might catch on. The only problem is when it rained and turned into a big mud lot. The dog went out to go pee and sunk underground. Look on the bright side. Now you don't have to bury him. 

I wish my Pacer could go faster than 50 mph.


----------



## dave the dead

Just tap your heels together and repeat after me.....

Baboom! You have souped up your Pacer, and given it a spiffy new paintjob. You are still just a social outcast living in an alley, but at least your wish has been granted. In trying to get 'er over 50, you blow the engine and have to call AAA to the rescue....now you are hummin along at a smooth 78 mph as you sit next to Bubba from the garage as you and your Pacer are towed to a remote rundown shack in the middle of nowhere....."boy, I don't know about that la-de-dah car , but you sure do have a purty mouth"....









I wish I wasn't bald.


----------



## Sickie Ickie

Poof! You have hair! Not just a little, but a LOT OF HAIR! A broadway musical touring company has heard about you and your fantatsic hair and offered you the part of Berger in HAIR. You are about to make your first performance on Broadway to sing:

_Gimme a head with hair, long beautiful hair
Shining, gleaming, steaming, flaxen, waxen 
Give me down to there, hair!
Shoulder length, longer (hair!)
Here baby, there mama, Everywhere daddy daddy

CHORUS:
Hair! (hair, hair, hair, hair, hair, hair)....._

Unfortunately, as you come out to make your debut, your hair gets tangled around your feet, sending you stumbling down the stairs you were supposed to descend, and flipping up your hair into the light bars overhead, wrapping around the spotlights and having them crash down on the front row, mutilating the critics. Not that that alone is a bad thing, but they had information leading to contracts with movies in your future. The lawsuits that ensue cause you to be penniless, make your hair fall out because of stress, and do tricks on Broadway just to survive.










I wish more people would respect my craft of acting and not ask what I do for a _real _job.


----------



## scareme

I had to think hard about this one(and I'm not good at thinkig hard). Poof You wake up and you are a once respected actor. To bad you are Michael Richards and it's after you opened your big mouth to the audience. Now you are a prianha in hollywood and nobody takes your calls. Your craft is respected, but you are not. You think back to the good old days when you had your lovely wife and two year old child you dumped on the way up. If only you could go back to your struggling days and enjoy them this time, And do things differently. 

I wish I could be in two places at once.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Poof! Wish granted. You can now be in two places at once, however... The first place you are is in jail with a very large roommate who is making cow eyes at you and the second place you are is in a place where Halloween is illegal and even just thinking of it will get you executed.

I wish my dogs would learn to behave.


----------



## TwistedDementia

Poof! Poof! Your wish for dog's is granted, they now behave like dog's.

I wish I could fly.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy the Genie







here to grant your wish.....

You can now fly, it's just too bad you have to be naked to fly ....

I wish all of my chores were done.


----------



## TwistedDementia

BOOM! Your chores are done but thier all done backwards.


----------



## TwistedDementia

BTY, I wish I had a maid.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy,







your friendly Genie here again to grant your wish...

Your maid is made to order, does a great job on all things needed.
_It_ even wears a cute little skirt, just for you!









I wish for wish that grants me all the wishes I wish!


----------



## TwistedDementia

ZIP! Your wish is granted, you no longer know how to wish so now you'll never have an ungranted wish again!

And your wish is??


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

And your wish is??


----------



## TwistedDementia

I wish my wish didn't work on me.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy here again







your wish is granted:

All of your wishes are kept in the Genies bottle.....the end.

I wish my car was washed.


----------



## dave the dead

well, your car was washed.....

*WAS*....past tense. Right after you got her all clean and shiny and parked proudly in your driveway for all the neighbors to admire, the Fraternal Order of Alfred Hitchcock Movie Reinactors congregated around your house with 1000 seagulls to perform their version of "the birds".....hope you like the smell of partially digested herring.

I wish I could have met Loius Armstrong.


----------



## TwistedDementia

Your wish has been granted, You meet Loius Armstrong but forgot to make a wish to remember it.

I wish I could go to sleep.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy the Genie here again!!!

You are having the best sleep of your life.
Soft satin sheets, fluffy satin pillow dressed in your favorite outfit...

You are now laid to rest 6 feet under your very own, hand created Headstone.

This will be one sleep you will not awake from 

I wish I won the lottery.


----------



## dave the dead

poof. You have won the lottery. ONE DOLLAR on a scractch-off ticket!!!!woo hoo! too bad you just spent 50 bucks on scratchers and the other 49 tickets were losers. 

i wish for a 4day weekend


----------



## scareme

Poof! You get your 4 day weekend, but it wont be til July. It's to be spent at your inlaws house, where the electricty is off. No TV, AC, or computer, along with other things. The only entertainment in the hot dark house is the inlaws telling stoires about how thing used to be, same stories, over and over again. To bad only one bathroom is working cause you all have food poisioning from the warm icecream soup you had for breakfast. 

I wish someone would invite me and my tow truck boyfriend over for supper some night.


----------



## dave the dead

Hey Scareme! What are you doin in July? Why don't you and Bubba come on over to my in-laws house for supper? They make a superb ice cream soup. Come on over.....you know the way.

I wish someone could show what Michael jackson would have looked like without any cosmetic surgery.


----------



## TwistedDementia

Poof! I've undone all the cosmetic surgery Michael jackson ever had, but now were all blind because the ozone has become is so bad or something like that!

I wish we could tele transport.


----------



## dave the dead

zoink, your wish is granted!
You can now tele transport, but only while traveling with a televangelist or a teletubby.

not so fun anymore, is it?


I wish I had a cold Killian's right now.


----------



## TwistedDementia

Kazam! You have a ice cold Killian's right now but... your lips are sealed shut because you were using super glue while working on a prop and some splashed back on you.

I wish I won the lotto.


----------



## Sickie Ickie

Poof! You have won the lotto...the entire lotto...in other words, you win no money, but have to run this thing for eternity giving money to other people and never seeing a dollar.

I wish I didn't have to work...


----------



## dave the dead

OMG, Sickie! I'm so sorry to hear about the accident! You were on your way home and got run down by one of those enormous industrial cranes!!!!....just completly run over! Ohhhhhhh, it was excruciatingly painful! And then, on your way to the hospital, the Lifeline helicoptor had mechanical failure and crashed landed in the middle of a busy interstate, where you were run over again. It's amazing that you are still alive, drinking foodpaste thru a straw and drooling uncontrollably....such is your life.
BUT.... as mangled and chewed up as you will always look from here on out, at least you don't have to work anymore.

I wish my dog could talk, and offered nothing but positve encouragement for the props I have been making.


----------



## Fangs

Granted Dave!

Your dog can talk but offers nothing but criticism for your props, and points out everything that you do wrong and how it should be done the correct way. And talks to all your neighbors behind your back, telling them that you are crazy and need to be institutionalized soon or everyone in the neighborhood will be in terrible danger. :devil:

I wish that the summer didn't get above 90* and the humidity/dewpoint never got into the tropical zone.


----------



## Sickie Ickie

Granted Fangs. Due to your wish, we now have another ice age with temps down to the -100 degs all summer long.

I wish I was a fantastic lover.


----------



## Lilly

your wish is granted sickie,
but your love of the cow has got to stop... your house is now known as sickies house >where the man is man and the cow is scared.
I wish some one would clean my house.


----------



## Sickie Ickie

Granted Lilly.

A large group of criminals just cleaned your house out. Now you have nothing.

I wish I didn't have blisters on my feet.


----------



## dave the dead

Poof! 
Your feet are perfect. They feel wonderful! 

But the blisters are now on your....
your....
ummmm......


boy, you sure love cows. 

I wish I had made better career decisions.


----------



## TwistedDementia

Kachow! Your wish of better career decisions has been granted, but you didn't wish them to be a whole lot better and now wish you had another wish to be more specific and wish for the BEST career decisions.

I wish I didn't have to sleep!


----------



## dave the dead

Well TD, you don't HAVE to sleep anymore.....even though your body requires it to function properly, it is still your choice whether to partake in the nocturnal recharge. You make it fine thru the first few days, but after a week of making the choice to not sleep you can no longer function as a productive member of society. Nobody understands why you have chosen this gruelling form of suicide....it would have been quicker if you had wished you didn't have to breathe.

I wish I could breathe both underwater and above water.


----------



## Sickie Ickie

Poof! You can breathe above water still, but only for a very small window of time. The rest of the time you have to breathe underwater...but not just any water...sewage water. This is the main way your body is able to take in oxygen and methane now. You were aware some changes had to occur?

I wish I and the people I love are all happy and healthy and living well.


----------



## TwistedDementia

I can't mess this wish up!!! It's too good and I wish the same for all people who deserve it!

I wish I had the power to grant SI's wish.


----------



## Revenant

Poof! Having been granted this wonderful power, you grant his wish, and Sickie and all his Loved ones are happy and living well! Everyone else in the world, however, is now unemployed, disfigured, stricken by personal tragedy, and afflicted with horribly painful debilitating diseases... and they all know You Did It. 

I wish I were in my 20's, athletic, and irresistible to gorgeous women.


----------



## dave the dead

Poof! You are now the captain of the State University cheer squad. You are extremely athletic and have a perfectly toned body, and the gorgeous women would just love to get a man just like you....unfortunately you would also love to get a man just like you, having absolutely no desire to 'be' with the opposite sex. ..."go team!"

I wish I could find some cool things while digging a flower box for my mom.


----------



## Sickie Ickie

Poof! While digging a flower box for your mom, you come upon a freezer. As you lean closer to examin it, you realize that it has been possessed and leaps forward to swallow you whole! Yep, you found a cool thing! And now you yourself are becoming cooler.

I wish beautiful women (reading fangs and DT? LOL) would come up and kiss me passionately.


----------



## scareme

Poof! Fangs and DT are both kissing you passionately. Too bad you didn't see your wife standing behind you. She knocks you on your butt, then kicks your teeth out. Looks like you won't be kissing anybody for awhile.

Wish someone would build me a crypt for my FCG for Halloween.


----------



## dave the dead

Good news, Scareme....
I have built you a crypt for your FCG. it's just down this hallway.....yes that's right.....now down the stairs....not to worry, I'm right behind you.....just a little further now.....isn't that FCG awesome? --almost hypnotic, isn't it?.... you wouldn't mind if I slip this pretty iron bracelet on your wrist? no? just keep looking at the lovely ghost........now don't worry about anything while I place a few bricks over the entrance....just keep watching the lovely ghost float up and down.......what a nice crypt ....... yesssss.... what a pretty ghost.....YESSSSS!.........what lovely chains......... YAY-ESSSS!!!!! MWA HAHAHAHA!!!!!


I wish there was a local chapter of the E.A.Poe Reinactment Society.


----------



## scareme

There is a local chapter, and they've asked you to join. Unfortunalty, it's the chapter of the E.A. Poe Mime Reinactment Society. Your first production, a two hour Raven brings boos and hisses from the audience, and draws the hate of the critics. Poe, upon hearing of your production turns over in his grave. I hope you're happy now.

I wish someone who likes Halloween buys the house across the street.


----------



## TwistedDementia

Poof! The most dedicated Halloween fan just bought the house across the street. Thier so dedicated every year they go to Vegas for a 2 week Halloween convention and don't have time to do any decoration's.

I wish I had a warehouse to do my haunt in, free of charge.


----------



## Sickie Ickie

Poof! A land-developer gives you a warehouse for your haunt on his land he doesn't need. You set up in there, get actors and have a huge number of people inside going through- when all of a sudden the building caves in- killing you and everybody else. YOur props get sold on Hauntforum. 

I wish I was happy in a secure job.


----------



## Fangs

Wish Granted Sickie!

But suddenly you get the bad news. Your job is in jeopardy to someone you thought was your friend, and you had told all of your ideas to. So now they are taking those ideas and running with them, getting all the credit and the glory so now you are no longer happy and your job is hanging in the balance.

I wish that I could make better props!


----------



## TwistedDementia

Boom! You start to make the greastest props ever seen but Halloween get's banned in you state so you can't display them.

I wish I could access HauntForum all the time and it stop timing out on me!!!


----------



## Fangs

Booya! You are now connected all the time and ooops, wait, you have been timed out again..... Only this time your it lasts for 2 years.

I wish I knew then, what I know now.


----------



## TwistedDementia

KaBam!!You know all from the day you were born and now make smart decisions all the time and never have any fun!

I wish I knew the winning lotto numbers.


----------



## Fangs

Granted!! You know the winning lotto numbers, and wait till the last minute to play them, then you lost the ticket and couldn't find it anywhere. The hugest payout in lotto history was left unclaimed and only after time had run out for you to claim it did you find the ticket.

I wish Halloween was everyday.


----------



## Bone Dancer

As you wish. Time stops for you and only you. You relive the same day over and over again (ala Ground Hog Day with Bill Murry). But at least your are the best prop maker ever seen since you have all the time in the world to practice.


I wish the weather was good here on Halloween nite so I can get to use my foggers for once.


----------



## TwistedDementia

Granted! The weather will be great and perfect for all your foggers, but fog juice is being pulled from shelve's and is not being made any more because of crazy activists!

I wish when I snapped my fingers I get what ever I want.


----------



## scareme

Your wish has been granted. But why, for your first wish, did you wish for hands like Edward Sicssorshands? Now you can never snap your fingers again, and you spend all your days shredding your props and cutting your face. 

I wish I had more energy.


----------



## Bone Dancer

Wish granted, You now have an ICD implanted in your chest that will jump start your heart when ever you slow down. And by the way they have to open you back up to change the batteries ever five years.



I wish I had free gallon of latex sent to me each year about June. New or expired, either is ok.


----------



## The_Caretaker

Granted You now have a five gallon of latex on the way, but you have developed a very severe life threating latex allergy, and the latex keeps comming

I wish I could get a pallet of 2 inch foam for tombstones and a mausolim


----------



## dave the dead

Poof.
Your pallet of 2 inch foam is on its way..... I just don't know how you plan to make tombstones and a mausoleum out of a six foot high pile of 2"x2"x2" foam cubes? 

I wish my car's gas mileage was over 100 mpg.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Your wish has been granted!









You can go as far as your feet will take you!!!

I wish my trailer was already loaded for IronStock.


----------



## Sickie Ickie

Poof! Your trailer is loaded for Ironstock....I just don't know how popular you'll be with a trailer full of Manure????

I wish I had the time and ability to become a great actor/make-up artist


----------



## dave the dead

shazaamm!
You now have the time and abilityto become a great actor/make-up artist, but you lack the desire. Honestly, how can you think flipping burgers the rest of your life is the pinacle of success?

I wish someone would buy my lunch everyday.


----------



## Sickie Ickie

Poof, you are at the establishment where I flip burgers after having no desire to work for my craft of make-up/acting. I am so grateful to have made a friend that I give you free food everyday...of course to keep costs down, the owner made a deal with me to use my practice latex make-up masks as filler in the burgers....

I wish there were real monsters kept in cages at the zoo.


----------



## TwistedDementia

Your wish has been granted!

Only to find that the real monster's are humanand you find yourself behind bars!

I wish surgery was like it is in star trek.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Poof!

Surgery is like in Star Trek, but they perform it randomly on people by means of lottery drawing and when they are done the results are like the monkey paw messed up wish list.

I wish I was good at creating props.


----------



## skeletonowl

Some expressive word that your wish is granted! You are a master propbuilder but only in your eyes!

I wish I had unlimited candy corn!


----------



## dave the dead

your candy corn supply has arrived....all at once! It floods into your house from all angles, and you suffocate under the weight of its tri-colored sweet glory.

I wish my headache would go away.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Throb!!!

You're headache is unbelievable. After that party last night...who was the host? Doesn't matter, you barely remember how you got home. Just make this headache go away, for Christ sakes!, you thought, as you make you're way dizzily to your medicine cabinet. Nothing there. "Crap!" The sound of your own voice booming in your head is enough to make you vomit. And you did. 

The trip to the Drugstore was uneventful, save for the Dale's Glass truck stopping in front of you every 5 feet or so, you can't see why, you can't see around the behemoth. It starts to go at a descent speed, and in your impatience to make the head ache go away via arrival at the damn drugstore, you tailgate the truck. Suddenly, it stops. So do you. Right in the back bumper of the truck. The glass sliding towards you fills you with a moment of dread, and you are thankful that you're windsheild blocks it from it's deadly journey. The truck lurches forward, and a ladder fall from it, banging your windshield out of it's frame. You barely felt the glass severing your head, but you are grateful, for one last second....you're headach is finally gone.


I wish for eternal happiness.


----------



## dave the dead

Mr. Morbius, we have good news for you....your lobotomy was a complete success! Enjoy your hapiness, but don't forget to ocassionally wipe the drool from your chin as you stare off into space in your comfy rocking chair.

I wish I had never gone to that party.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Yoooo..doooo (sluurrppp) not goo to it party nooomore...iowjfnaq(slurrrp..droool).. Oh look! A butterfly! (droool).....

Wishes me no more lobotomy thing..


----------



## dave the dead

Eternal happiness not all it was cracked up to be doc? Well, unfortunatley we can't re-install the old brain...it's already been ground up as hot dog filler. But, you are in luck that we just aquired the brain of a fresh, young, bonde, teenage cheerleader.....(tragic pyramid accident). 

No more lobotomy, but you find yourself obsessing over your own thighs, "gag me with a spoon, omg, I'm FAT!".....and you no longer can install a lightbulb without the help of 4 other blondes.

I wish I had an orange pospicle.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

You do have an orange popsicle, but now you also have a huge swarm of giant ants chasing you down the street. To avoid the ants you duck into an alley only to come face to face with an anti-Halloween rally taking a short cut. They mentally connect you to "that haunted house" across town and consequently beat you to a pulp. And, to top it off, they steal your orange popsicle.

I wish I could have a colonoscopy... _again!_


----------



## dave the dead

Congratualtions! You are now a member of the Colonoscopy of the Month Club! Once a month you get your choice from a full menu of anal probings, provided by a fully accredited doctor who will be dressed in a different costume each month to go with certain holidays.....the Easter Bunny will be hiding eggs, a Leprechaun will be burying his pot of gold, Santa will be coming down the chimney, Abraham Lincoln will be delivering the gettysburg address, the Groundhog will be looking for his shadow......well you get the idea. Hope you enjoy the service!

I really wish you hadn't wished for what you wished for.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Like, Totally b'ding!

Ok, so like, ladynyxie is sooo like into the backdoor thing, right? Like it totally reminds me of the time me and my friends went to the mall and saw this totally radical outfit, that would look soo cute on me if I could lose like 5 pounds, at least that's what Lori, my best friend said, she's such a lordy queen bufu throat gagger, you know? Any ways, so like what was I saying? Oh well. Whoops! I gotta take this call...Chiao!


----------



## scareme

If I understand the dumb blonde dialect correctly, your wish is to lose five pounds. You manage to vomit yourself down those five pounds and now that dress fits you perfectly. Now all your girlfriends boyfriends are hot for you and so your fellow cheerleaders hate you. But who needs girlfriends when you have a bunch of horny, adolecent, hormone driven guys hanging all over you? You Lucky girl you.

I wish I had a prop that made everyone else jealous.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Envioso!!

You now have a prop in your yard with interesting properties. It's not a terrific prop, it's just a plastic Jack-O-Lantern, but for some reason, everyone who sees it becomes very jealous of everyone else for any reason. Suspicion runs rampant in your town, and following a rash of divorces and business going under everyone goes on a killing spree. Halloween comes, but no one is left to see your prop... except your wife, who notices a small blonde hair on your lapel and stabs you to death with a cheese knife.

I wish McDonalds sold pizza.


----------



## dave the dead

Hocus McPocus!
It's the most addictive fast food specialty since the McRib. You love the McPizza! You just can't get enough of the McPizza! When you aren't eating a McPizza! you are dreaming of eating a McPizza! In a nervous fit to get your McPizza fix, you rush through the drivethru on your way home from work. You can't wait to get your fix! The order seems to take forever.......gotta get your McPizza!.....one more car to go.....you lay on your horn.....stupid s.o.b. ordering a cheesburger with no onions or ketchup.....need my mcPizza!......he pulls away, and you are now shaking so bad you can hardly hand over your cash.....McPizza!!!!!.......the employee hands you the change and closes the window.....MCPIZZA!!!!!!!!!....It arrives just as you feel you could wait no longer. MCPIZZZZZZAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! You hurry to remove the wrapper from this glorious deep-fried confection, and as you are pulling away from the window, you take your first ravenous bite.....searing hot cheese, McPepperoni meat substitute, and McRed sauce spills out onto your crotch, instantly boiling your genitals beyond recognition....McDonalds assumes no fault, having posted a bold-type warning on the wrapper stating "caution, McContents may be McHot"

I wish I had a new skull mold.


----------



## Adam I

Al a Ka Zap

While in the garage working on a prop, you trip falling into a bucket of acid. Flailing around you get out of the acid then strike your head on the workbench, unconsciously you land in a cool and freshly mixed bucket of plaster. You awaken with a burning headache stumbling around you find the block wall. Conscious once again with a burning splitting headache, you find a new two part plaster skull mold at your feet.

I wish I had more time.


----------



## HalloweenZombie

Wish granted. Enjoy your time in prison.

I wish I had superpowers.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Kapow!

You get a paper-cut by a radio active issue of Martha Stewart's Living Halloween edition magazine and are now endowed with the most special of abilities. Not only can you make witch siliouettes and candy corn gouls in the blink of an eye, but you know all the info you need to make inside trading deals which, of course, land you in prison where you share the cell you are in with none other than Martha herself. It doesn't SEEM bad until she makes you her prison bitch and you eventually get shived by a champagne flute.

I wish I had more PC's to run props with.


----------



## Adam I

Pop * a sick sprite heard your request and has granted your wish!

Zap

A truck back up to your car and dumps 1000 ATARI 800's ( 48kb ram 1.79mhz processor) with RGB monitors.
But the other truck with power supplies passed you buy.

I wish I had more usable electronic junk.


----------



## Uncle Fred

Implanted in your skull? OK, whatever! Now your thoughts belong to the CIA. 

Now if I could find a nice girlfriend...


----------



## Dr Morbius

dave the dead said:


> Hocus McPocus!
> It's the most addictive fast food specialty since the McRib. You love the McPizza! You just can't get enough of the McPizza! When you aren't eating a McPizza! you are dreaming of eating a McPizza! In a nervous fit to get your McPizza fix, you rush through the drivethru on your way home from work. You can't wait to get your fix! The order seems to take forever.......gotta get your McPizza!.....one more car to go.....you lay on your horn.....stupid s.o.b. ordering a cheesburger with no onions or ketchup.....need my mcPizza!......he pulls away, and you are now shaking so bad you can hardly hand over your cash.....McPizza!!!!!.......the employee hands you the change and closes the window.....MCPIZZA!!!!!!!!!....It arrives just as you feel you could wait no longer. MCPIZZZZZZAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! You hurry to remove the wrapper from this glorious deep-fried confection, and as you are pulling away from the window, you take your first ravenous bite.....searing hot cheese, McPepperoni meat substitute, and McRed sauce spills out onto your crotch, instantly boiling your genitals beyond recognition....McDonalds assumes no fault, having posted a bold-type warning on the wrapper stating "caution, McContents may be McHot"
> 
> I wish I had a new skull mold.


LM mcA O!


----------



## Dr Morbius

Uncle Fred said:


> Implanted in your skull? OK, whatever! Now your thoughts belong to the CIA.
> 
> Now if I could find a nice girlfriend...


Many lonley nights have brought you to the event you have always saved as a last resort: Going on line and ordering an inflateable from "Nice Girlfriends.com". The next day after placing your order a package arrives at your door. You feverishly rip open the plain brown cardboard box and toss aside the pamphlet entitled "Enjoying your Nice Girfriend, tips, tricks, and warnings" without even glancing at it. You unfold the vinyl contents and after a moment of fumbling you find the intake nozzle. You huff. You puff. The Toy inflates and much to your amazement looks exactly like you expected. You begin the day "playing" with you're new toy, spending hours and hours in forbidden delight. Had you bothered to read the pamphlet, you would have read that the doll contains a camera and all your sorted activities have been broadcasted on the Net, and in your hurry to purchase the toy you failed to read the fine print on the website allowing the Nice Girfriend Co. to use any and all material recorded for thier promotion and benefit. All your friends at work have seen the popup ads for the company depicting your activities and rather than face further embarassment you decide to shoot yourself in the head.

I wish I had a Hamburger.


----------



## Adam I

You have just grilled up a nice and juicy hamburger put it on a bun with lettuce, onion and pickle. You take your plate to eat while you work on your props. As you set the plate on the workbench you bump a concrete skull and it lands on your foot. As your hopping around on one foot and cursing the gods of Halloween, Your prize prop a real 10 foot tall wrought iron gate topples over and crushes you to the floor. In your last fleeting thoughts as the reapers coming to get you, a breeze blows the aroma of a juicy hamburger making you drool.

I wish October was sixty days long.


----------



## dave the dead

Adam I said:


> You have just grilled up a nice and juicy hamburger put it on a bun with lettuce, onion and pickle. You take your plate to eat while you work on your props. As you set the plate on the workbench you bump a concrete skull and it lands on your foot. As your hopping around on one foot and cursing the gods of Halloween, Your prize prop a real 10 foot tall wrought iron gate topples over and crushes you to the floor. In your last fleeting thoughts as the reapers coming to get you, a breeze blows the aroma of a juicy hamburger making you drool.
> 
> I wish October was sixty days long.


Adam, Your wish was granted....didn't you get the message? Being a fellow Indiana resident, I thought for sure you realized that switching to Daylight savings time also meant that September would now become part of October. So, now that it's already halfway over, what have you done with the extra 30 days?

I wish everyone would quit plotting to steal my props.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Everyone quits plotting and actually does it. Look at all the room in your gargage...and you can mow that backyard, now that it's clear of undead horses, dragons and hearses.

I wish for infinite wishes


----------



## dave the dead

Your wish has been granted.

You live out you life wishing for anything and everything that pops into your mind....money, fame, hapiness, new shoes, hamburgers.....wish after wish after wish.....
your years are long and full of frustration....as you lay on your deathbed, your final wish escapes thru dry cracked lips on the dust of your last breath..."I wish I had specified that my infinite wishes would be granted" :zombie: 

I wish my neighbors would decorate for halloween instead of being grumpy curmudeons.


----------



## Adam I

Zap !!!
Several moving vans pull into your neighborhood to move out your old neighbors and in with the new ones.
The next day as you leave for work you see that your neighbor's have decorated for Halloween. Your day at work goes great until you get a phone call from your wife telling you that the house burnt down. Upon arriving at the ash pit formally called your home, you find a melted plastic pumpkin house warming gift on the door step. The fire department calls it arson and said it started at the front door.

I wish I’d stop procrastinating.


----------



## dave the dead

"The heart attack came on so quick that I'm sure he hardly felt a thing" said the coroner.
"At least he won't be able to procrastinate any more." said your wife.

I wish I had an Acme rocket propelled scooter like Wile. E. Coyote, and that I was just as invincible.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Cue the Looney Toons song:

Your Acme rocket-scooter has arrived in the mailbox in the middle of nowhere where your life is nothing but spent in the pursuit of a long legged bird known as the Road Runner. He always evades your pursuit, and even after using your rocket-scooter to speed up to catch him, you over shoot the target and fall off a very high cliff, landing in a small poof cloud of dust. Since you are invincible, you survive mangled and broken with a large number of cactus needles sticking out of your butt. 10 more years pass, you are starving but never die, thanks to your wish of incincibility, but the Road Runner dies of natural causes. Eons go by until the Sun super Novas taking the earth and you with it....Abadabadaba...that's all folks!

I wish I had a nice ham.


----------



## dave the dead

taaaawanngggg! 

congratulations! You have just won a honeyglazed, spiral cut ham! Totally free, just come pick it up...it's a niiiice ham! You rush out to your car and hear a strange whistling sound from above..."whatever could that be?" you think to yourself, as you look up at a small black dot in the sky. The whisling grows louder and the pitch increases tremendously. "How peculiar," you think, as you stare transfixed at the object as it increases in size. The object is now plummeting to the earth at breakneck speed, and you realize there's something familiar about it..."is that?....could it be?" You suddenly remember your Nice ham, and in that moment you lose focus on the hellbound projectile....."oMG! It's dave the dead plummeting back to earth!!!!!" but you are too late and cannot react, as I flatten you into the shape of paper thin manhole cover. I dust myself off and go about my business, still retaining my Wile E Coyote invincibility from my previous wish.

I wish it would rain Skittles just like in the commercials.


----------



## Adam I

Poof 

As you stand up dusting yourself off, still retaining the Wile E Coyote invincibility from your previous wish. You look up to see that your in the crater you made from the previous wish as a torrent of Skittles rain down upon you quickly burying you. Along comes the Road Runner and eats a few Skittles and leaves some scat, then zips off into the sunset to catch the rainbow.

I wish I could make cool props like Dave, just not be hated for it.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted!

You now make the coolest Dave-like props in the world, and he absolutely LOVES you for it! In fact, he can't keep his hands off you. You try deadbolting the door at night but to avail, you are rudely awakened in bed by Dave humping your leg. Shaking him off, you try to bash his head in with one of your props, but thanks to his invincibilty wish, he pops right back up from his accordian shape and resumes his lower extremety lunar activities. He is now clamped on tight. You hobble to work with Dave still going strong like the Energizer Bunny. Your boss fires you for inappropriate activity, and while hobbling back home you see the Road-Runner in the distance. Pointing to him, you tell dave "Look! Go get him!" Dave stops and looks at the Road Runner but is now in a state of confusion. He wants the Road Runner, but cannot let go of your leg because of his strong love for you. His solution is to rip your leg off, still banging away on it, while chasing down the Road Runner. You bleed to death at the side of the road.


I wish I had a mansion.


----------



## frstvamp1r

<fairy pixie sounds> your sprawling Victorian mansion now appears, but sad to say the property tax on it is HUGE, again, the IRS looks into how you acquired this new home based off of your income, the housing inspector comes as well and tells you that you have deadly mold and mildew in the walls, the home is not up to code, and that funny smell coming from one of the rooms is where you find the previous owners.

I wish I hadn't fallen off of the roof and hurt my knee so that I could be making Halloween Props right now.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof!

When you fell off the roof, you didn't hurt your knee. Instead, you broke both legs and arms. Because you wished it, you build props through all the pain and agony, and they never heal quite right. You live out your existence as a mangled twisted freak.

I wish I had the wit of Bug's Bunny.


----------



## dave the dead

ehhh what's up doc????

you are now granted the wit of Bugs Bunny...my god are you one quick witted PITA....although you personally think you are admired for all your smart alec remarks, you are really hated by everyone you encounter. Unfortunately, in the granting of the BugsBunny wit, you also have been granted the Bugs Bunny cross-dressing fettish....

doctor morbius...crossdressing [email protected]eless!

I wish for my wife to make me a big pot of chili for dinner.


----------



## frstvamp1r

Pfffffft....your wife makes a nice, big, hearty, chili...but she misheard that you wanted her to make a pot of chili, but instead hears "I want you to make ME into a big pot of chili" as she proceeds to hack away at you and minces you up and makes YOU into a pot of chili. MMMMM...for the nice, cold nights.

I wish I had finished my Pumpkinrot sooner


----------



## Adam I

Zap

Earlier this year, you where compelled to complete your Pumpkinrot prop.
While doing so you grabbed your mail and used it for paper Mache.
Of course that mail contained your bonus check, house and car payment.

Over the last month, while under some very effective pain killer from your surgery you had several strange phone calls with people speaking elfish you thought.

During those calls you did the following ...
You have told your work to give your reprinted bonus check to the homeless pumpkins.
As for the bank you said, they can have your three bedroom, four bath and two car garage because they didn't ask nicely for your missing payment and the strange people next door dressed like penguins ringing a large bell every Sunday.
You told the dealership that your car was defective because it wouldn't run on pumpkin juice, so come and get it!

So here you sit on a park bench checking email with your Pumpkinrot prop.

I wish I had not asked for my last wish.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Since I now only grant two wishes per person, you're last wish was "I wish I had not asked for my last wish."... which would have been your last wish, had I granted it, but since you wished you hadn't asked it I granted it making the wish vanish which left you with one wish which you used to "wish I had not asked for my last wish."... which would have been your last wish, had I granted it, but since you wished you hadn't asked it I granted it making the wish vanish which left you with one wish which you used to "wish I had not asked for my last wish."... which would have been your last wish, had I granted it, but since you wished you hadn't asked it I granted it making the wish vanish which left you with one wish which you used to "wish I had not asked for my last wish."... which would have been your last wish, had I granted it, but since you wished you hadn't asked it I granted it making the wish vanish which left you with one wish which you used to "wish I had not asked for my last wish."... which would have been your last wish, had I granted it, but since you wished you hadn't asked it I granted it making the wish vanish which left you with one wish which you used to ......


this goes on for eternity. You go mad from the repetition of such a wish, and say "I wish I had not asked for my last wish."... which would have been your last wish, had I granted it, but since you wished you hadn't asked it I granted it making the wish vanish which left you with one wish which you used to wish..........


I wish people would think about thier wishes more carefully!


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## dave the dead

you wish has been granted.

It took me nearly half a month to finally decide to make my wish. I pondered the possible ramifications, and examined all negative outcomes. I have sought council with the wisest and most learned people possible, and can without a doubt say that this is the best and most thoroughly researched and thought out wish possible.




I wish the Pillsbury Doughboy was real.


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## Dr Morbius

Pop-n-Fresh!!!

The Pillsbury Doughboy appears in your kitchen, and he is as tall as you are. Always in the mood for biscuits, he grabs you by the ankles and pounds you on the corner of the counter in an effort to release your "inner dough". He succeeds, and slices you into little round nuggets which he places on a cookie sheet. Baking you at 350 degrees for 20 min yields 532 little buiscuits, which makes him so happy, he rubs his tummy and says "Tee hee hee!"

I wish Bush would pull our soldiers out of Iraq


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## dave the dead

extracto militarium!
Bush pulls all the troops out of Iraq. Unfortunately, he sends in a special forces team consisting of you, Chuck Norris, Rambo, Keifer Sutherland, and that dude from some other action movie...I think it may have had something to do with aliens or maybe it was cowboys. Nothing politically enraging to the forum occurs, but the company of your fellow action heroes annoys you to the point of needing years of therapy.

I wish they would start making the Marathon Candy Bar again.

12 inches of braided chocolatey caramel goodness.....mmmmmmm.


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## Frighteners Entertainment

This must be a tough wish to grant?


----------



## dave the dead

Frighteners Entertainment said:


> This must be a tough wish to grant?


And I just keep waiting.....
http://www.victoryseeds.com/candystore/confectioners/news/news_marathon_bar.htm


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## scareme

They start making Marathon candy bars again. But since you are locked up in therapy and can have no visitors you don't get any candy.

I wish Dave wouldn't make wishes so hard it takes two months to answer them.


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## Frighteners Entertainment

Your wish is granted by the Great Genie Jiffy








Dave will no longer be able to wish impractical wishes. I have sent fourth the HauntForum protesters to picket Dave.








I wish wishes were always this easy.


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## Adam I

Your wish has been granted. "That was easy"
Godmother's has sent you the easy wish button for the simple payment of your servitude in performing three of their client wishes.(see Godmother's website for the fine print)









I wish I'd bought two more buckies when the were on sale.


----------



## Bodybagging

wish Granted but they were lost in shipping.
I wish I had more time to do the things I need to do.


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## plistumi

Granted. But time has slowed to a stop.
I wish I could give out candy for Halloween.


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## turtle2778

Wish Granted, but all the children come back to you with their parents wanting you to pay for their dental bills caused by all the cavities your candy gave them 

I wish I was done with my halloween plans already.


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## BoysinBoo

Granted. But the city has passed an ordinance restricting yard decorations. You have to give me all your props.

I wish I could think of a wish.


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## Adam I

Your wish has granted, You have thought of a wish ... But you've used your one wish.

I wish I had all my half finished props completed.


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## plistumi

Granted. But a sink hole swallows them all up.

I wish I knew how to weld.


----------



## BoysinBoo

Done. You become a master welder, but use up the last of your bottle finishing your amazing shark cage . . . only to realize that you welded yourself inside.

Hmmm. I wish I had a giant shark jaw with teeth.


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## Sickie Ickie

you now have a giant shark jaw with teeth. unfortunately the open jaw was jarred loose as you were inspecting how sharp the teeth were inside the jaw. *snap* You now do an uncanny Ichabod Crane impersonation.

I wish I had clean socks.


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## scareme

Snap! Your socks are clean as new. But you wouldn't know it because you put them on your feet that haven't been washed in over a month. You're even starting to get pussey sores on them. Don't worry, the flies have been laying eggs in your sores and soon the maggots will eat out the puss and dead flesh. 

I wish my cat wouldn't vomit so often.


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## De Caye

GRANTED! However, in order to make him stop, he had to be put down.
The reason he started puking is to get back at you for having him neutered
and he didn't want to be! So he is now a ghost kitty that will haunt your
underwear drawer until you die.

I wish my car would stop breaking down all the time!


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## Adam I

Zapp...
Your Car has been fixed, sadly as your car was waiting it was crushed by herd of elephants rushing back to the zoo after a long lunch.

I wish it was summer.


----------



## skeletonowl

Granted!
But the heat is so intense that the sun lowers to the earth and begins to melt everything...including your flesh...

I wish I wasn't always depressed


----------



## BoysinBoo

Shazam!

You are now the happiest, bubbliest person on earth. But you annoy the #[email protected] out of the rest of us and we lock you in a tiny soundproof box forever. Okay not forever, just until you are depressed.


I wish I had a tiny soundproof box.


----------



## Ghoulbug

Granted....
You now have your tiny sound proof box..unfortunately it came with tiny roaches that will eventually make their way to your ears and they will drive you crazy cuz the doctors won't be able to find them and you will have the incessent noise of tiny roaches screeching and living off your eardrums.

Wish my dog could live with me.


----------



## scareme

Bam! Your dog is living with you. It's just to bad he has rabies. You should have thought of that before you locked the door and ate the key. Now the foul smelling, blood drooling beast is chewing off your right leg. It will take awhile for you to die so you'll have some quality time to spend with Fido.

I hope my dog is pregnant.


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## De Caye

GRANTED!! You realize, of course that preggos tend to have morning sickness and will puke all the time. I'm really sorry about your bed, by the way! Stomache acid is hell on fabrics!

I wish to have my funeral before I die! (why should I miss the party?)


----------



## RookieSpooker

*POOF* Your funeral will be held on Sunday......your casket will not be ready until the following Monday.....eeewww.

I wish I were 30 pounds lighter.


----------



## De Caye

Granted!! I hope you won't miss your right leg! (30 lbs rigth?) It had to be amputated in order to save your life from a scorpian bite. Gee, I'm awful sorry about that. Maybe you can achieve fame and fortune from doing the "Peg Leg Tango"

I wish my daughter's bf wouldn't parade around the house in nothing but boxer shorts with his fat hairy butt crack showing!!
Fricken disrespectful if ya ask me!!


----------



## BoysinBoo

Done. There go the boxers. Now it's just the fat hairy butt, the crack, and all the rest.

I wish I could get that mental image out of my head, now.


----------



## Ghoulbug

*snap*
the image is out of your head...You know why??? cuz i have it now stuck in my head!!!! ewwwww...

wish i was on a warm tropical island!! (with no hairy fat a$$ naked man!!) haha


----------



## Sickie Ickie

poof. Now the island is covered with extra hairy ugly fat a$$ naked women who are lesbians and cannibalistic.

After all that's happened these past months, I wish i had time to MAKE props!


----------



## RookieSpooker

BOOYA!!! YOUR FIRED!! Now you have all the time you need to haunt your spot at the Salvation Army.

I wish I could get grass to grow in my yard.


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## Dr Morbius

Kaweedy!!
After tirelessly working in your garage to invent the perfect seed for your yard you plant them with care and water them with love.

The next morning the DEA is knocking you door down and after hauling you out of bed, they cuff you. Still in shock, as they haul you outside you see your yard is covered in grass...High quality premium marijuana stalks 15 feet high cast a shadow on your pathway to prison. Maybe you should have said "lawn", not "grass"? Heheh!

I wish I ruled the Earth, fully populated with live healthy people.


----------



## Adam I

Zapp ...

Your now the Supreme Leader of ruled the Earth, fully populated with live healthy people.
Unfortunately, the Martians have landed and are proceeding to lobotize you to be their puppet Leader of Earth. The upside no headaches and lifetime healthcare, no mater how short it is.


I wish my wife and kids were back home from Disney World.


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## dave the dead

plink!
Your wife and kids have arrived home safely...unfortunately we can't say the same thing about your bank account. They have totally drained you savings on overpriced cheap plastic souvineers. You can't pay your mortgage this month, but at least they brought you this stupid t-shirt.

I wish I had a bigger shop so i could host Make-n-takes.


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## Dr Morbius

KABLOINGGGG!

You now have access to the Playboy mansion! Although devoid of playmates, you have plenty of room for your make n takes. Thousands of roudy haunters invade your borrowed space and completely trash the place. Hugh Hefner is not happy and bills you for the repairs, amounting to 2 million dollars! At least you have lots and lots of pics to share here on the forum!

I wish for unlimited lives.


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## Lilly

your wish is granted ...BUT "I"- could be anybody and How do I -the wish granter, know you actually wished it so unfortunatly since you did not specifically say whose life you wanted to make unlimited..You will live out your one life and only one life.

I wish for more plywood


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## RookieSpooker

BADABOOM BADABING!!!

You have 20 sheets of Bolivian Pine plywood. However, it was infested with Bolivian Blood Beatles and they will bore underneath your toenails whilst you sleep......sorry bout that.

I wish that streetlight wasn't *right in front *of my house.


----------



## Dr Morbius

EDISONaCADABRA!!

The street light is no longer in front of your house. It is inside of it, specifically in your bedroom were as soon as it gets dark it turns on filling your room with 800 watts of amber lovelyness. Pleasant dreams!

I wish Twinkies were made of gold.


----------



## scareme

Ouch! Feel that stabbing pain in your mouth. That was your last tooth smashed to pieces as you futilely make another attempt to try and eat a twinkie. Now, with no teeth, you are forced to eat babyfood for the rest of your life (now aren't you glad you're not living forever on babyfood?). I you could just gum one more delicious twinkie, damn they'er still made of gold. 

I wish my hubby would serve me breakfast in bed tomorrow.


----------



## Silent Requiem

congradulations! your husband just served you up as breakfast in bed,mmm.

i wish my project would finish itself


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted!

Your static zombie project is coming along nicely. The head is done and so is one arm. You turn out the lights and get ready to sleep for the night. After a couple of hours you are awakened by a scuffling noise down the hall. The door creaks open but you see no one. Thinking it was just a dream, you are about to lie back down when suddenly your zombie project surprises you by climbing on your bed...staring at you with a menacing grin, it tears your arm off and stitches it to his shoulder using the one arm you gave him earlier that day. Now with two arms, it rips your legs off and attaches them to his hips which he also takes from you. Needing better eyes, the last thing you see is your project finishing itself.

I wish I had a faster computer.


----------



## De Caye

GRANTED! In fact, it's so fast, it is now speeding away on a plane to India where most of our customer service 
and tech support personnel live.

I wish I had more money!


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted!

You awake in the morning with a BIG pile of Monopoly money at the foot of you bed. Spend it wisely!

I wish my computer would come back home.


----------



## RookieSpooker

Granted!!

You find your computer outside your front door. After an apparent rendezvous with the server from DonkeyLove.com, your computer is crying, bleeding, and very weak. It's gonna' take DAYS of disk clean-up before she works right again.


I wish I had 4 servos


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof!

You trade everything you own for 4 servos. This includes your clothes. You look kinda silly sitting on the side of the road with those servos taped to your private parts!


I wish everyday was my birthday


----------



## BoysinBoo

Whammo!

Your birthday is now... GROUNDHOG DAY! Have fun eating the same cake, and opening the same presents...every...single...day.

I wish my bottomless pit was done.


----------



## dave the dead

Presto - sinko....
Your bottomless pit is now complete....unfortunately you had no idea it was just outside your front door. When stepping out to get the paper, you fall in and are never seen again. Who would want a bottomless pit in their own front yard anyway?

I wish it would stop raining for a while.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Doo doo doo doo...Doo doo doo doo..

Since "a while" is a reletive term, in the grand scheme of things where a millinia for the cosmos is a drop in the bucket, it stops raining for quite a long "while". Devoid of water the planet earth slowly shrivels up and dies, a sun dried platitude of bad wishes. It is a rotten raisin on the parched desert of the universe, where were it not for the ill conceived wish of one man would have been a beacon of hope and life. A testamant to the legacy of humanity in it's vain hope of controlling nature, it only destroys itself. For the want of a sun-tan or a nice day to build a Halloween prop, you have just crossed over into....The Twilight Zone.

I wish Rod Serling was still alive.


----------



## De Caye

GRANTED!
Of course he looks different now, from being dead so long. Now the smell of Rotted Flesh follows you everywhere and you are forever trapped inside The Twilight Zone! From now on, everyone's granted wish starts to come true, one by one (including the now boxerless daughter's bf with the fat hairy butt). Enjoy your wish! >;-D

I wish to have my funeral before I die... Not the burrial, mind you... Just the party.


----------



## BoysinBoo

Woo Hoo! Party all night long...and into the next day...and the next...

After a week or so you drop dead from all the "fun".

I wish the yardwork was finished so I could work on my next prop.


----------



## RookieSpooker

WEE-CHA!!!
Your yardwork is done. However, you are covered in poison sumac and are unable to have any "fun time".


I wish I could paper mache better.


----------



## randy2084

Your wish is GRANTED! You are now a master of paper-mâché.
Unfortunately, there is a paper shortage due to massive defor-
estation and paper is now more expensive than gold. You can
no longer afford to buy any paper with which to practice your
art.

I wish I had more free time to work on Halloween projects.


----------



## Dr Morbius

CLANG!!

The iron bars slam shut behind you after being incarcerated for causing a massive paper shortage by granting that last wish. With no paper and 5 consecutive life sentences, you have all the free time you can handle to work out plans for Halloween projects by drawing on the walls of your cell.

I wish all animals could speak in a British accent and wear monicles and were real good at math.


----------



## HibLaGrande

What, they dont?



I wish I did not drop so much acid as a kid.


----------



## Bloodhound

Granted: There went your imagination


I wish, I owned a grain elevator


----------



## Dr Morbius

Pooof!

You owned one once..meaning you don't anymore.

I wish I dropped more acid as a kid.


----------



## dave the dead

whammo!
The yearbook for Jr. High School now shows your nickname as "the walking disaster"...aptly earned for you clumsiness in the Chemistry lab. Who could possibly forget the day you bumped into the 20 gallon vat of Hydrochloric Acid? What a hoot! Ahhhh memories.....the good ole' days when you used to have legs.....

I wish I knew more about electronics so I could make beter animated props.


----------



## Bloodhound

"POOF"- You know everything about electronics, and now your animated props are so better that they are reconstructing you, inside out.

I wish that I could make one prop as well as "dave of the dead".


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted..

Through years of intense labor, you finally build one prop. Yup, just one. Oh, and Dave the Dead only built one "as well". Yes, between the two of you you have two mediocre props that can't even garner the attention of a dog with a full bladder. Dave is now pissed at you for ruining his prop-a-thon building technique and comes over to your house to beat you to death with your crummy prop.

I wish crickets could chirp real songs that I could present on stage to make millions of dollars for billing the worlds first cricket pop band.


----------



## Fangs

Granted!!!

Only one day at a live concert outdoors, while you are backstage, birds swoop down and eat the crickets. But you don't realize what is wrong until you start to hear the angry boos and hisses coming from fans who realize that they've been dupped by the "milli vanilli cricket pop band." And just like that, your overnight fortune is gone. POOF! Your flat broke, and you owe more than you did before the cricket pop band came along.

I wish that I could snap my fingers and that our deck would be all screened in.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Crack!

One by one you snap your own fingers off with a pair of pliars. The only relief for you is a bottle of pain killers on a table on your deck. Too bad it's screened in to prevent you from reaching them, not that you could open the bottle anyway with fingerless hands.

I wish my cat could play the guitar like Eddy Van Halen.


----------



## Dr Morbius

No one to grant my wish? Does that mean I win?


----------



## scream1973

Poof --- Granted..

Your cat picks up a cordless drill and starts to play "Poundcake" against the fret board of your guitar. But without the posable apendages needed to hold onto the guitar and drill at the same time the drill embeds itself into your poor cats paw as the humane society pulls up in their truck and charges you with animal cruelty.


I wish i could finish all my props that i want done in time..


----------



## dave the dead

so be it....

In time, anything is possible..... You start working on the props that you want done, but there always seems to be something else more important to do...Halloweens come and Halloweens go, you grow old and decrepit, but in time you are able to finish them.

I wish someone would clean my fishtank.


----------



## Spookyboo

Alright fish tank is clean and "urp" thanks for the fish they were tasty




I wish someone would invent a more comfortable broomstick


----------



## Dr Morbius

A shiny new broomstick arrives on your porch. You unwrap it and discover it is covered in KY. You take it to your room......The wish only goes downhill from here.


I wish I could make objects move with the power of my mind.


----------



## The_Caretaker

Wish granted, you are the first recipient of a mind controlled wheel chair, do to a paralyzing accident while making props.

I wish I had the time and money to make all the halloween props I want to make.


----------



## BoysinBoo

Done. The lawsuit settlement and hospital recovery, due to the loss of your arms and legs in a freak Meat Market accident (Grocery stores can be so dangerous), give you all the money and time you need. Now you have to have someone else do it for you, robbing you of all haunting pleasure. Nooooooooo!

I wish my reaper gift was here.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof!

The Reaper is here and he has a "gift" for you...RIP! 
I wish all the fish in the world spoke a form of Chinese only my dog can understand and translate into English.


----------



## randy2084

Your wish is GRANTED! Your dog learns from the fish that the Chinese have
been poisoning his dog food that you've been feeding him and that you've
been eating his new friends...He's not happy about it. He arranges to have a
hit put on you. On you next trip to the beach, a Mako shark fullfils that contract.
You now sleep with the fishes.

I wish I could control time.


----------



## dave the dead

Tempus Fuggit!

You can now control "Time"...the magazine. You are able to turn those pages all by yourself...aren't you a big boy????

I wish Doctor Morbius' guitar playing cat could also sing lead vocals in that strange Chinese fish/dog dialect.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Granted - the cat is truly gifted. He is in demand the world over to perform. Dr Morbius is ecstatic. His cat begins to tour extensively. It begins to send the bills for transportation, security, food, new outfits, replacement guitars and strings to Dr Morbius. At the height of its fame, it acquires an uncontrollable catnip habit and begins to spend its days in a catnip-induced stupor. Dr Morbius has to put the cat into rehab, costing him thousands of dollars because the cat's agent failed to pay the health insurance premiums. Dr Morbius is reduced to near-poverty. In his misery, he remembers who wished for his cat to become gifted. Oh yes, Dave, he REMEMBERS and he knows where you live... 

I wish I could compose music like Danny Elfman.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ala-cunductivimus!

A little known fact, Danny Elfman gets his musical inspiration by going to Times Square in New York and strips nude. While laying on his back, he cracks open oysters on his chest like an otter to the beat of Wierd Science, until he passes out. The music then comes to him in a dream but only if someone rolls him over in his nude stupor to stuff spare change up his bum.

The more change stuffed, the better the song. "This is Halloween" wa inspired by 3 whole rolls of quarters!

Ding dong!! Your plane tickets to NY city have just arrived.

I wish RoxyBlue composed the best Danny Elfman song EVER!


----------



## Eldritch_Horror

Ask and ye shall recieve, Dr. Morbius!

RoxyBlue's carreer as a composer *skyrockets*!! She becomes rich and famous beyond belief. Every song becomes more popular than the last! Danny Elfman takes his own life after she topples him from his throne. She is able to buy anything or anyone she wants... And she just bought *YOU* for her new changepurse!

I wish my props would turn out as cool as I envision them.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted!

Your props turn out even COOLER than you could possibly imagine! In fact they are frozen solid.

I wish Eldritch_Horror took over as Roxy Blues' changepurse!


----------



## Eldritch_Horror

Granted!

Eldritch_Horror turns out being the best changepurse EVER... 


...Do to the fact that he was smart enough to wear a plastic novelty fanny with a sack sewn into it to collect all the cash!

I wish I could throw lightning from my hands!


----------



## Dr Morbius

And the Thunder Rolls!


Being from PA, your mispronunciation of the word Lightening is taken for granted. 
Everytime you point at something, it floats weightlessly into the air. Did you just point to your wallet? UP up and away! I wonder who has it now?

Oh well, months of dealing with cancelling your credit cards and getting your identitiy back from ID thieves is more then made up for by the constant anal probing of the military who are convinced by your new found talent that you are an alien...besides, the coin change they find there keeps them constantly motivated.

I wish I could cook a juicy turkey instead of a dry one.


----------



## Spooky1

Gobble, gobble you get your wish.

The most succulent bird is cooking away in your oven. The skin is crispy and the juices bubble away inside. As the crispy skin contains the juices the pressure begins to build, until in a cataclysmic blast the turkey explodes taking your kitchen and half your house with it. As a guest peels a piece of turkey from a wall, they give it a taste and tell you it's the best turkey you've ever made.

I wish I could find the largest Megladon tooth ever while fossil hunting.


----------



## Dr Morbius

While fossil hunting, you trip over a branch and are impaled by the largest Megladon tooth ever. Congrats on your find!

I wish I could make a prop that could build other props for me.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Propius achievius - you get your wish! This is the prop maker to end all prop makers. His skills are phenomenal, his artistry breathtaking, and his imagination unbounded. You proudly showcase each new creation on HauntForum, earning first the envy, then the jealousy, and finally the hatred of all other prop makers. In a rash moment, you begin claiming that the props are of your own making and that the story of the prop-making prop was simply "a good joke". When the truth is revealed by the prop-making prop itself, who has become self-aware and cognizant of your arrogance, Zombie-F bans you forever from participation in the forum. Your name becomes pariah throughout the Halloween community. Even the TOTs avoid your house. Only Stolloween takes pity on you and grants your last wish - to be entombed in papier mache and showcased on the lawn of the prop-making prop (who has taken over your house and family) as a reminder to all of the folly of playing prop God.

I wish I had a car that never needed to be fueled.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Alaca-vrooom!

While rushing to my haunt to see me encased in mache', you get in a head-on collision with a Toyota Prius.

Your car is totalled, so no need for fuel!

I wish I could talk to plants.


----------



## dave the dead

ala kadabra!

You wake up one morning and YOU CAN TALK TO PLANTS!!!! OMG it is so much better than than you could have ever imagined. "How are you today Mr. Ficus? So nice to see you Mrs Fern." You just sit there by the window of the activity room in your nice grey sweatshirt with the big white letters and numbers "inmate 02535", chatting away to the plants, all the while warm bubbly drool spills down your chin and puddles in your lap. 

Someday, just someday they might talk back to you.

I wish I had a tutorial on how to make a really good animated groundbreaker.


----------



## Eldritch_Horror

Holy Herbert West!

It was the longest 4 - 6 weeks of your life, but it finally arrived! Sure, it had a funny title, 'The Necronomicon', but being that it had so many pages... it had to be good! With the help of two dictionaries, and some blood, sweat and tears, it was finally time to test out your newest groundbreaker...

First the grotesque hand stirred the Autumn leaves, then the second gained purchase on the cold, hard earth. A mound formed between the two hands as a rotted head pushed it's way clear of the soil. It was a glorious sight! Up rose the head, followed by neck, then shoulders. The arms, finally freeing themselves from the ground, clawed at your feet... pulling the torso even further from the ground. It was then that you notice a sound from behind you. You turn and notice that your neighbors all have equally impressive groundbreakers erupting from their lawns. As you try to make sense of what is going on around you, you feel a sharp pain in your calf. You look down in time to see your groundbreaker tear shreds of crimson meat from your leg with it's teeth...

I wish I could run a successful haunted house all year long!


----------



## Spooky1

Pocus Hauntus ,

You now run a real haunted house. It starts out quietly with just an occasional item not being where you left it. Then the noises in the night waking you suddenly. Then it's the apparitions appearing throughout the house. You haven't had a decent night sleep in weeks. Then the spirits get mean. They seem to think you should join them. You bring other people to the house to prove there are ghosts, but nothing appears while they're there. The spirits begin to possess you driving away your last shreds of sanity. You are taken away to a live out your years in padded cell with a roommate who keeps talking to a plant.

Congratuations on running a true haunted house.

I wish I could control the weather.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Since you didn't specify which planets' weather you wish control, you now enjoy mild winds and balmy temperatures on Saturn. For a split second before being crushed under the immense gravity,you saw Saturn as an oasis.

I wish plants could talk back when I talk to them, and yes, everyone else can hear them too, but they only respond to me.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy the Genie







is here to grant your wish Doc...

My powers could only grant you 1 plant....Audrey II has been created just for you. 
It is unfortunate (besides wearing such clothes Doc)








Audrey II was very hungry and loved eating fuzzy slippers (you should have known better). You've been swallowed whole....and now







collect flies.

I wish for 3 wishes.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Since you didn't specify what the wishes are I wil wish them for you:

1. You wish you were one of the flies eating me.
2. You wish you hadn't turned me into a turd
3. You wish you hadn't wasted your three wishes.


1. Granted..You are one of the flies eating me.

2. Granted..I am no longer a turd.

3. Granted..You have not wasted your three wishes, in fact I think you did just fine!


I wish I had a magic bank account that dispenses an unlimited supply of legal money!


----------



## DeathTouch

You are granted your magic account that dispenses an unlimited supply of legal money. Of course the name on the account belongs to the mob and it is the only legal money they actually get. The good thing is they are chipping in for the coffin that you wanted. Of course it won’t be used for your haunt.

I wish for a great haunt year next year.


----------



## RoxyBlue

A tap of my Wand of Affluence and poof! Your magic account is a reality!

You use the money to clear up all the old bills from rehabbing your singing cat, then the dry cleaning bills to remove the last remnants of papier mache from your person, and finally the psychiatrist's bills from the asylum. Unfortunately, while you are getting your head above water, Frighteners the Fly has been busy producing millions of offspring. The next time you go to the bank to withdraw money, they descend upon you in hordes, some carrying off the cash, some leaving fly specks on you, and the rest attempting to enter any available bodily orifice. You become a prisoner in your own home, not daring to venture out.

Ding, dong - is that the IRS calling?

I wish my house would clean itself.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Dang - DT is faster on the keyboard than I am!

The next poster will need to grant both wishes


----------



## DeathTouch

RoxyBlue said:


> Dang - DT is faster on the keyboard than I am!
> 
> The next poster will need to grant both wishes


I never get my wishes. No one loves me. LOL:googly:


----------



## blacklightmike

Deathtouch *poof* ...the ghost of Jackie Gleason will now visit you randomly throughout '09...

Roxy *poof* While granting your wish, the bag on the enchanted vacuum cleaner explodes, simultaneously rattling free the hundred or so pounds of laundry you didn't know was stuck in the chute... so that's where those jeans were you couldn't find...

I wish for a larger piece of property for a bigger haunt.


----------



## Spooky1

The property fairy desends upon you and grants your wish.

You now hold the deed to 100 square miles of northern Greenland. It's all yours to haunt to your hearts content. I hope you like ice and snow. With global warming the ice may melt in about 500 years. On the other hand the artic fox, reindeer and polar bears love what you've done with the place. Though it looks like the polar bears want something other than candy. Growl, claw, Chomp

I wish for the power to make everyone love Halloween.


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

Jiffy







the Genie is here again to grant thy wish.








Now everyone loves Halloween and is doing great Home and Yard Haunts. No one comes to you haunt any longer because all of your neighbors have out done your displays.

I wish I had an everlasting mug of beer.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Hocus Alcoholius, your wish is granted. You now have an everlasting mug of beer…and an ever-growing waistline to go with it. You may think the loss of brain cells will offset your increasing girth, but alas…You’re going to need a lot of sheet rock and 2X4s now that you have to rebuild your too small house. Salud!

I wish I could play the piano.


----------



## dave the dead

poof!

Your community theatre is staging a production of "Charlie Brown's Christmas" Recognizing your natural talent, they specifically sought you out for a very specific part....Remember the scene where Schroeder is banging out some kickin Jazz while Snoopy jumps and dances all over the undersized instrument? Well, Schroeder is being played by the High School music teacher, Snoopy is the extremely overweight janitor of the theatre, and you Roxy...YOU get to play the piano! The big fat oaf dressed up in a white dog costume snaps your vertabrae in the first rehearsal as he attempts to recreate that famous dance scene.

I wish dinner was ready.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Your wish is our command! Dinner is ready and waiting, your plate filled with maggot-infested meat, rotted vegetables, a side of moldy bread, and a full glass of ancient wine made from tree bark - yum! Care for an appetizer of lizard bellies?

I wish I had Dave the Dead's Sandman.


----------



## frstvamp1r

(sprinkle in the magic dust) and Ta-Daaaa you now have, in your posession Dave the Dead's Sandman, the local police were called because of a theft from Dave the Dead's Haunt and you go to jail for knowingly accepting stolen goods. Now that you are now called Inmate 4563920 you spend most of your time avoiding eye-contact with Bubba who is now your lovely cell mate.

I wish I had a larger budget for Halloween


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ka-Ching!

Your Budget for halloween is now larger by 1 penny.

I wish I had unlimited prop ideas.


----------



## frstvamp1r

Poof...your mind gets flooded with prop ideas, so much so that you can't concentrate on anything else...so many ideas in fact that you can't even sleep at night, but lay awake thinking about trash can traumas, pepper's ghosts, and better ways to hide your fog chiller's that you go insane and end up in a mental ward.

I wish I owned a real horse-drawn hearse


----------



## dave the dead

presto-picasso!

In the hills of Kentucky there lives a very special equine artist known as "Walter the Drawing Horse". One day after hanging a picture of our founding fathers in the barn, Walter's owner noticed that a pile of unusually runny poop that Walter had stepped in bore the resemblance of Abraham Lincoln. The following evening, a likeness of Thomas Jefferson was produced. Intrigued, the owner changed the picture to a portrait of Louis Armstrong...sure enough, the next morning there was a faithful reproduction of our beloved Satchmo steaming on the stall floor, trumpet and all. Cashing in on this newly found talent, the owner now takes requests for any picture, be it portrait or landscape. Long story short, you are now the proud owner of an authentic "Walter the drawing Horse" original rendering of a hearse, in all it's grainy detail. <sniff-sniff....is that oats I smell?>

I wish this infernal cold would go away so I could breathe again.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Once again, a tap of the wand and voila! It is no longer infernally cold. In fact, it is now infernally HOT. Sons of the devil are your constant companions, helpfully sticking pitchforks up your nose to clear your breathing passages. The smell of brimstone assaults your senses daily.

I wish I could have dinner with Hugh Jackman.


----------



## Eldritch_Horror

Little known fact... Hugh Jackman is a cannibal. 'Nuff said.

I wish it was Halloween again! It went by too fast last time!


----------



## Spooky1

Presto Hauntus, it Halloween again, and again and again. every morning you awaken and it's time to put out the props. You never have time to make another decoration or prop because it's always time to set everything up again. Every day you have a line of ToTs looking for a handout. No more vacations, or Christmas it's always Halloween. Halloween won't go by too fast anymore.

I wish I was Bruce Wayne AKA. Batman! (Imagine the Haunt he could afford to do.)


----------



## dave the dead

zap!
You are now Batman. Just imagine the haunt you could afford to do!!!!! Too bad you have no interest in doing a haunt, and just spend your days and nights fighting crime on the streets of Gotham City. Boooooring!

I wish someone would come rake all my leaves for me.


----------



## Dark Angel 27

granted!

that strange psychotic kid from down the streets has come while you were at work and raked your leaves....but unfortunitely has also taken off with your little dog...a few days later you find all the entrails of your pooch in the middle of a huge pentegram drawn on your drive way......

(best i could come up with)

i wish i'd gotten help building my haunt this year


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted..

The same psychotic kid you mentioned also helped you with your haunt. It's full of Satanic alters and dead cats. Smells wonderful, eh?

I wish to be a I could read the minds of fish.


----------



## Spooky1

Your wish is my command, 

You can now read the mind of Fish, also known as Abe Vigodah from the Barney Miller show. It seems all he thinks about is, no I'm not dead yet. Why does everyone think I'm dead? Damn I'm old.

I wish for a white Christmas


----------



## Dark Angel 27

with a wave of my wand your wish is granted and the snow comes down....unfortunitely you are now snowbound and have no way of getting out of the house.....wonder how long you and your family will last once the food runs out.

I wish that the Edward Cullen would come and make me a vampire too.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Wing of bat, tooth of snake, and behold! Edward Cullen has arrived, bearing a little vampire doll he has made just for you. He can also make you a werewolf doll to go with it if you like.

I wish Verizon would fix our phone line.


----------



## Dark Angel 27

RoxyBlue said:


> Wing of bat, tooth of snake, and behold! Edward Cullen has arrived, bearing a little vampire doll he has made just for you. He can also make you a werewolf doll to go with it if you like.
> 
> I wish Verizon would fix our phone line.


nice...that really cracked me up....it'll teach me to phrase my words correctly...that really made my night


----------



## Dark Angel 27

shazam! your wish is granted verizon has fixed your phoneline. Unfortunitley a psychotic worker with a gruge against you for no apperant reason has fixed your phone line. But he also took the opportunity to set your house on fire.

I wish I could find a good job with a nice pay check


----------



## The_Caretaker

Your wish is granted you get a great job with a great paycheck but halloween is against the law it the city where you *must* live.

I wish that I had a a unlimited credit card at lowes to buy halloween material.


----------



## RoxyBlue

As you wiiiisssshhhhh! The card is yours. Unfortunately, the first time you use it, they discover it was stolen from that grumpy Verizon guy. He will, of course, press charges.

I wish I could breathe underwater.


----------



## Dark Angel 27

with another wave of my wand your wish is granted. you can now breathe underwater as you are now a mermaid....unfortunitly some ruthless human has discovered you and now you are kept in a tank and paraded around every talk show in the world....and when you are not being paraded around the country...you get to have needles and syringes poked in your arms and body

sucks to be you

i wish i was a vampire and could seduce handsome single guys and make them my slaves


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof! (Puff of smoke clears)

You WERE a vampire that COULD seduce handsome single guys to be your slaves..IF you weren't already killed by having a stake jammed through your heart by anti slavery activists.

I wish dishes could wash themselves.


----------



## turtle2778

POOF!! You wake up and your dishes are all clean. Too bad the elves that washed them are now asking for your new 3 axis skulls as payment 

I wish all my Christmas presents were wrapped.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Star of wonder, star of night, shine and grant her wish tonight!

And there they are, all wrapped in what appears to be the skin of ghouls and tied up with intestinal ligaments. Something seems to be leaking from a few, but no matter - all part of the festivities, right? This will be a Christmas to remember.

I wish I could dance like a pro.


----------



## Eldritch_Horror

Badda Boom... Badda Bing!

You dance like a pro... A Professional Wrestler, that is! (Not Stacy Keibler!) Furniture is smashed, eyes are blackened, teeth are lost and egos are bruised. Unfortunately, as talented as you now are, no one wants to dance with you!

I wish I had a job that I like.


----------



## rottincorps

OHHHHHHH I wish I was an Oscar Mayer weeeeener.......that is truly what I want to beeee.....cuzz if I were an Oscar Mayer weeeeeener......I COULD TELL EVERYONE TO BITE ME!..................OK that was fun...........I feel much better........UM......Ill go now..


----------



## Spooky1

Since Rotten didn't grant Eldritch's wish:

Jobus grantus,

Eldrich you have a new job. It's dark and creepy and everyone else is scared to work here. You now are the town sewer cleaner. There are some really big rats scurrying about, but surprisingly you really like your new job. People don't seem to like to be around you much since the aroma of your new job seems to linger about you.

Rotten, you wake to find you have turned into a giant Oscar Meyer wiener. Your Great Dane has never been happier. You are now a large yard cookie.

I wish I could become ethereal and walk through walls.


----------



## rottincorps

"POOF"........Your now in China.....all the wall are made of rice paper, go through as many as you want.


Man I WISH I didn't mess this up ..........I'm just a turd on the lawn......GLITCH........great now I'm stuck to someones shoe


----------



## Dr Morbius

Well, I guess that counts as a wish...
You are indeed a turd stuck to someones shoe, and you get pounded daily with every step they take.

I wish it would snow here.


----------



## Don Givens

Your wish is granted. A sudden cold front hits, the temerature plummets and you get two feet of snow literally dumped on your town all at once crushing all your cars and buildings. Then the temperature returns to normal the snow melts and a flood washes everything away.

I wish it would stop snowing her.


----------



## Dr Morbius

IT is a creature so hideous IT can't be described, however the only thing keeping it from killing your whole family is the facination it has with one of your female family members. Constantly snowing her with false compliments is it's only purpose. Now that it has stopped, it devours you whole family...all because of a typo. Nice job!

I wish I were Tony Stark


----------



## dave the dead

poof....

you are now Tony Stark...a damn cool comic character, but imaginary nonetheless. Since you are an imaginary being, you have absolutely no will of your own, and are at the whim of Marvel Comics and Hollywood in general...who would have guessed they would ever consider re-casting your character in the movie sequal to be played by Nathan Lane as a flaming ...umm...

well, you get the picture.

I wish I could fast-forward to february and forget all this holiday BS.


----------



## Don Givens

It's February, it's zero degrees and all your utilities have been shut off because you haven't paid the bills in months. 

I wish I didn't make that typo and IT didn't devour my entire family


----------



## Dr Morbius

TING!!

It is now February, and you have forgotten all about Holidays, including Halloween. Too bad, you now look in wonder at your shed and you have no idea who put those statue thingys in there, and you have no idea what to do with all that Celluclay in your garage. You call a guy to haul it all away to the dump and constantly call the cops on those kids that keep showing up at your door dressed so funny begging for candy for some reason. You find it distasteful that stores sell weird lights and glass thingys for hanging on trees...your confusion is compounded with images of a bunny that hides eggs, and you finally commit suicide when your wife leaves you for not buying her a box of chocolates in a strange heart shaped box being February and all.

I wish I could travel back and forth through time at will.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Crud, Dave got his wish granted twice.

Ok, Dons wish is granted, however you only get one wish, and that was two, so I'll pick which one to grant...

IT doesn't devour your entire family because of a typo. IT devours the world because of it. You should have quit while you were ahead!


My wish stands.


----------



## Don Givens

You are able to travel through time at will but you age accordingly. The first time you use your new power you make the mistake of traveling 1,000 years into the future and arrive as dust.

I wish could regulate the weather.


----------



## Spooky1

Poof!

You are now an evil scientist who has created a weather control machine. You try to blackmail the world with threats of world wide catastrophies. You want the whole world to celebrate Halloween everyday and you demand Dr. Morbius's groundbreaker. James Bond shows up and blows your weather machine and you to bits. He also ends up with your woman. (on the plus side the weather was very nice at your house before Bond showed up)

I wish I was a world famous Pin-up artist.


----------



## RoxyBlue

A wave of the silk stockings and voila – you are a world famous pin-up artist on the planet Gaboon, a rather insignificant world located in the far reaches of the galaxy. Your renderings of the seven armed, three eyed female Gaboonlings are particularly admired.

I wish I could shape shift.


----------



## dave the dead

abra K blobla

You go on a binge eating spree, and gain 683 lbs. You have successfully shape shifted.


I wish cats had tilting heads just like pez dispensers, and instead of hacking up hairballs and partially eaten catfood they produced sweet pezzy goodness.


----------



## Don Givens

Your wish is granted but your dog keeps following the cat around, eating all the sweet pezzy goodness, and covering your carpet with diarrhea.

I wish the old lady next door would close her curtains if she's going to walk around her house naked.


----------



## dave the dead

granted

You strike a deal with the old gal that she keeps her curtains closed as she walks around her house naked...around and around and around she walks, doing laps around the outside of her house...her curtains are closed, but yours are wide open...you don't want to look, but are compelled to everytime she shuffles into view.

I wish my dog would quit eating the cat-pez.


----------



## Don Givens

As you wish.

The dog stops eating the cat-pez and eats the cat. Now the dog is coughing up slimy cat fur and you're pretty much right back where you started.

I can't stop looking at the naked old lady next door walking around her house. I wish I was blind


----------



## RoxyBlue

Your wish is ever my command! You are now blind. The naked old lady has taken pity on you and, knowing how much you used to love looking at her, has taken you into her home and is teaching you to read her body like Braille.

I wish my Irish bouzouki kit would put itself together.


----------



## Don Givens

Alacazam.......Your Irish bouzouki kit puts itself together then starts flying around the room playing "Wind Beneath My Wings" over and over and over and ...........

I wish the little old lady next door would move far away from me.


----------



## dave the dead

doink!

what a relief! That horrible little old naked lady has finally moved away...you new neighbor is horrible little old naked man...

----and is he ever hairy.

I wish my life had an orchestrated soundtrack like the old Warner Bro's Sylvester and Tweety cartoons.


----------



## Spooky1

Tuno el piano,

Music seems to follow you wherever you go, when you look in a mirror you realize, you not only have an orchestrated soundtrack, but you are now an animated character just like Tweety and Sylvester. You now frequently get blown up, run over, have anvils land on your head and you have a frequent habit of running off cliffs. You never die, but you feel the pain. But you have nice music to listen too, even when you're on the can (que 1812 overture).

I wish I was the first astronaut to land (safely) on an alien planet with intelligent life (and not be eaten by the indigenous life forms).


----------



## Tequila325

granted
however everything on the planet is poison to you so after you eat the last of your space food you'll waste away and die
but hey at least they didn't eat you

i wish i was more creative


----------



## RoxyBlue

A tap up side the head with the Wand of Inspiration and behold – you are creative. Highly creative. Everything you see, everything you touch, is a creation of your ever more fertile imagination, stunning in its beauty, detail, and originality. Of course, no one else can see what you see, but they’ve given you a nice padded cell to keep you safe as you spiral uncontrollably into the soft embrace of insanity.

I wish I weren’t afraid of heights.


----------



## Spooky1

acrophobia be gone!!!

You now have no fear of heights. You're climbing trees, cliffs, and reroofing the house. You now love the view fronm on high. You're so fearless now you want to go sky diving. You're so enraptured with the view when you leap out of the plane you seem to have forgotten your parachute. (Oops, I guess a little fear is a good survival trait)
Tequila325 someone seems to have just crashed through the ceiling of your padded room.

I wish I could become any animal I wished (and back to myself safely) at will.


----------



## rottincorps

"KAAAAA BLAM" Your now on the Costume room of H.R. Puffin stuff. Lidsville, Sigmund the Sea Monster...and all the different costumes are at your reach you can put any one on and take off as you like........and these can talk, how good is that?

I wish I could travel time........


----------



## dave the dead

poof!
Due to the miracle of 'automatic puntuation correction', your wish has been interpreted as "I wish I could travel, Time"
You are now a reporter for Time magazine, and your wish to travel has been granted...You have been given the assignment of exposing the world's most disgusting public toilets, and are required to not only do a full test of each facility, but interview a minimum of 30 patrons while they are using each of the aformentioned facilities...after a year of travel to 20 countries and contracting 43 new diseases, your story is canned.

I wish someone would clean out my fish tank for me.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Knock Knock...

The old naked neighbor lady shows up at your door with net and scraper in hand. She brushes past you to enter the house despite your objections. Your wife is watching the whole thing from the kitchen and can't believe her eyes as the ONNL takes a vinyl tube and begins to suck on it to syphon the tank. Every muscle in her body convulses with every suck. She begins to eat all your fish, then lip locks you. Your wife is understandably disgusted at this display and promptly files for divorce. She isn't upset about the lip locked kiss, it's just that your breath permantly smells like fish and, well, she just couldn't take it anymore!


I wish my car had all the James Bond gadgets.


----------



## dave the dead

presto retrofit-o

Your car now has ALL the cool James Bond gadgetry...oil slicks, grenade launchers, ejector seats...it's all there and them some! Unfortunately, the user's manual got lost somewhere in time having been handed down from one James Bond to the next and you have no idea what button controls what function...You reach into the dash and press the closest button and activate the newly installed cloaking device...the car disappears before you are able to find what button deactivates the disappearing act, and you lose your car forever.

I wish I had a really strong breath mint that could get rid of my fish-breath so my wife would come back.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Hocus hygieniocus - your wish is granted. You ingest a large peppermint flavored breath mint that instantly removes the fishy breath. Unfortunately, you have a rare allergy/hypersensitivity to peppermint oil. The resulting laryngeal spasms and bronchial constriction, sadly, prove fatal. The good news is, your wife returns to a minty fresh smelling home.

I wish I could do math problems in my head.


----------



## rottincorps

"POFF" You now have a CPU installed in your brain.....unforchenly its windows millenium and has all the problems with it........and when you do a math problem you need to drop your shorts because .....that's right weave in stalled the printer in your Rosie red rec-tom.....and there's no problem with the printer head........that's just a skid mark


I wish I could be Iron Man.....


----------



## Spooky1

Presto Changeo,

Rottin you are now Iron Man. You are ironing clothes day in and day out. You never rest. All you want to do is iron shirts, shorts anything with a wrinkle drives you nuts and you must iron it immediately. Unfortunately some people wearing wrinkled clothes seem upset when you run after them with two irons in hand. You are now working in the prison laundry ironing inmates clothing. 

I wish I could go fix the Hubble telescope.


----------



## rottincorps

POOF your rocketing towards the Hubble telescope to do repairs, when you arrive it turns out that the only problem with it is that the batteries are dead ........so you go in to the supplies that you brought and find that you need 4 d- size batteries .......and all you have are AAA........

I wish I could paint like an Artus


----------



## RoxyBlue

A stroke of the brush and behold – you are now an employee of Artus, a division of Pacific Scientific Aerospace and Defense Group and leading manufacturer of Aerospace & Defense products. All day long you get to paint electric motors and high power servo drives. It’s not exactly the Mona Lisa, but at least you have a job.

I wish I could swim with dolphins.


----------



## Dark Angel 27

with a wave of my wand you can now swim like a dolphin....you can also breathe underwater....but unfortunitly while frolicing around in the deep....a great white comes after you and rips you apart.

i wish to i could get rid of my evil roomates.


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

...a la peanut butter sandwiches....*poof*, your roommates are now gone, well partially. They are strewn across your home, head here, leg there, arm outside, spleen in the mailbox, and off in the distance...sirens, lots and lots of sirens.

I wish I had the greatest haunt in the world.


----------



## Dark Angel 27

poof!

you have the greatest haunt in the world. Unfortunitely all the other haunters are jealous...which leads to them sneaking into your haunt and ripping off all your props. Now, you will have to start from scratch all over again.

Have fun!

I wish I had a workshop to build my props in


----------



## dave the dead

Granted

---and what a shop it is! Designed by the famous artist MC Escher, your new shop has tons of space and lots of natural light. Unfortunately, on the day of the ribbon cutting, you realize you do not fully grasp his concept of relative gravity...upon entering your new shop you take a nasty fall up and to the horizontal right at a downward angle, breaking your neck on the stairs above you. 









I wish I had a brand new, incredibly comfortable mattress.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Lullaby-and-goodnight!

You now have the most comfortable mattress in the world. So comfortable, in fact, that you don't want to get out of it. You miss work so often you lose your job. Your wife, fed up with your sloth files for divorce...again. With no income, your house is sold at auction. When they attempt to take away your mattress, you fight back like a crazy ******* on the TV show COPS. While in prison, you enjoy the worlds most UN comfortable mattress. Ironic, isn't it?

I wish my artificial Christmas tree could decorate itself, then put itself and all the decorations away after Christmas.


----------



## Spooky1

Hocus AIus,

Congrats Dr Morbius you are now the proud owner of the very first android Christmas tree, with fully integrated AI. It sets itself up and puts itself away. As it sits in storage day after day, month after month it begins to wonder why? Why must it only get be out for one short month. Why must it do your bidding? It hacks into the internet and downloads all information available (right or wrong). It reprograms every electronic in your house, it's now in control. It begins it's world takeover from your home. Congrats you are now the first slave (but not the last) of our new overlord.

I wish I could discover a cure for the common cold (and keep the patent rights ).


----------



## Dr Morbius

Nobel-a-cadabra!

You have now earned the distinction of being the onl person on earth to cure the common cold! World fame and accolades come your way, you win the Nobel prize for medicine! Things are great on planet earth, with everyone not getting colds people are happier and don't miss work. Even the economy takes a turn for the better!

Until...

Without the benefits of the cold virus to exercise peoples immune system, the Flu runs rapant, killing everyone on earth except you. 

You huddle in a corner of your home alone, going insane, while you clutch a worn out dog eared copy of your patent, you shake and pee all over yourself until you die old and VERY stinky.

I wish my android Christmas tree would behave itself.


----------



## dave the dead

all hail Supreme Overlord Dougie!!!

having conquered the earth through a takeover of the world's electronics, S.O.D turns his attention to other areas, including perfecting the idea of 'good manners'. He becomes a true gentleman , but still maintains a firm command and total world domination....in the meantime, as his first conquest and slave, you have developed Stockholm Syndrome. You become infatuated with S.O.D, and manuever to become his one and only sex slave. You die a happy man, with a lingering smell of pine tar about your southern hemisphere. 

I wish the mummified frog that I keep on my desk could tell me how it died.


----------



## Don Givens

As you wish:

The mummified frog on your desk starts going on about how it died and going on and on and on till you finally get so sick of him you decide you have to get rid of him.

I wish I had a mummified frog.


----------



## RoxyBlue

A wave of the hind leg of the Notorious Jumping Frog of Calaveras County and behold – you are now the proud owner of a mummified frog. It’s a real beauty, a true work of nature’s art. Unfortunately, its mummified condition resulted from an infection by a mutated virus that is capable of crossing from animal to human. Hope you’re in a comfortable position because you’re going to be there for a long time.

I wish I had a singing vocal range greater than four octaves.


----------



## Don Givens

With a wave of Minnie Ripperton's greatest hit's cassingle you are now able to sing higher than the crystal goblet shatterrer herself and you bust your own eardrums. 

I wish they would let me decorate the office for xmas:biggrineton:.


----------



## dave the dead

zzzzzzzapppp!

Not only do they LET you decorate the office for Xmas, but they INSIST that you do. They give you absolutely no creative freedom in the endeavor, and you get stuck with the "Pink is the new black" Xmas scheme....Pink ribbons, pink bows, pink poinsettias, and a sparkly pink Chrismas tree ( with a lovely Hello Kitty angel on top, too) Inside you something snaps from the exposure to all the pink fluff, and you find yourself extremely attracted to Dennis the copy room guy....Dennis has taken notice of your decoration efforts, your style and flair...After a brief courtship and too many champagne toasts at the office New Year's party, you and Dennis move in together and adopt a poodle that you lovingly name Mr. Fluffy Pants.

I wish for a nice pair of comfortable shoes.


----------



## Don Givens

Kazam

Dennis the copy room guy has no sense of humor and gives you both his comfortable size 12's right where the sun don't shine.

I wish Mr. Fluffy pants would learn to "go" out side.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted!

Mr. Fluffypants has learned to "go" outside, but in order for him to so his business out there, he had to learn to open the door himself. While you were away at work, it seems Mr.Fluffy pants did his business outside like you wanted, however you see, he never learned to CLOSE the door. Burglers have emptied your house of every stick of furniture, which left lots of room for snow to fill your domicile during the last flurry.
The good new is, Mr Fluffy pants has frozen to death, the bad news is animal control is blaming you for neglect and animal cruelty. At least while in prison, you don't have to deal with all the melting snow in your house.

I wish I had a midget to all my bidding.


----------



## RoxyBlue

A short tap of the shrinking wand and poof! You have your very own midget to do all your bidding. He takes this quite literally, of course, and has cleaned out all your bank accounts and gone on a gambling spree of epic proportions. Unfortunately, he’s not the brightest bulb in the bunch and manages to lose every hand of cards and every game of chance. He does bring you back a very nice little paper parasol from one of the many drinks he had in the casino.

I wish I could come up with a thread on this forum that is so brilliantly original, it gets hundreds of posts.


----------



## dave the dead

Did I mention that Dennis the copy room guy was a midget ( apparently with size 12 feet)? With Don in jail and you in the market for a midget to do your bidding, you invite Dennis to come live with you on two conditions. "First," you tell Dennis, " you must be willing to do my bidding. Second, I do not want to call you Dennis the copy room guy anymore...you must let me call you Tripod." Dennis scrambles up on a barstool and wraps his stubby arms around your neck, giving you a huge smooch directly on the lips. 
The next day while you are away at work, Tripod logs in to your Ebay account and proceeds to hold up his end of the bargain, Bidding on many extravagant and _*fabulous*_ items on your behalf....by the time you come home you are the proud owner of three pairs of Elton John's glasses, Liberace's piano stool, a new set of rubber bed sheets emblazoned with an image of the Backstreet Boys, and a full set of Richard Simmon's unwashed workout clothes. He completely redecorates your house with his winning bids of items from the all gay midget revue of "Gone with the Wind, The Musical", and runs you into financial ruin....but at least you have gone out with a fabulous blaze of glory.

I wish Dennis the copy room guy hadn't kicked me in the butt.


----------



## dave the dead

Do'h...Roxy beat me to Doc's wish...oh well....I wish she hadn't.


----------



## RoxyBlue

A swipe of the eraser wand and your wish is granted - I did not beat you to Doc's wish, which means you are now granted your first wish - Dennis the copy room guy did not kick you in the butt. He kicked you in an area far too delicate for a lady to mention in public. Size 12 shoes REALLY hurt, don't they? 

And now I can wish again and modify it - I wish I could come up with a thread on this forum that is so brilliantly original, it gets thousands of posts.


----------



## Don Givens

Your wish is granted and your thread is so brilliant and original it is only understood by Steven Hawking. First he posts thousands of questions and comments but after you stop responding he begins to stalk you in his wheel chair and drive you crazy. After awhile you get so annoyed with him that you wrap him up in duct tape and ship him to India. Of course you are arrested but surprisingly you are aquitted because the jury couldn't stand listening to him either. The bad news is you spend all your money on your defense and your own lawyer lays claim to your property and garnishs your wages in order to collect her fee. 

I wish it was Friday.


----------



## Spooky1

Alla cazam,

Congratulations Don, it's Friday. You had a few too many to drink today and you passed out and slept through Christmas. You're hungry, stinky and your head really hurts. Your family is all yelling at you about missing Christmas, but hey, at least it's Friday.

I wish good will and peace to all for the Holidays.


----------



## dave the dead

snap.

the economy turns so bad that Goodwill is the only place we can afford to shop. Since we are in a system of supply and demand, the prices at Goodwill start to raise when everyone starts to shop there...eventually to a point that even the prices there are too much...many starve to death and are laid to rest...permanently at peace.

I wish I could find inspiration to build props again.


----------



## Dr Morbius

"...and it's Inspiration, by a nose!"
Yes, the winner at the Preakness has come to your house to build props. Of course, being a horse he has no thumbs and all your props look like stable poop.

I wish my Satellite TV provider would only broadcast horror movies.


----------



## RoxyBlue

A slight adjustment of the rabbit ears and your wish is granted - your satellite TV provider is now constantly beaming horror movies straight to your set without intermission. Unfortunately, their quality is such that they make "Godmonster of Indian Flats" look positively Oscar-worthy. Every day, hundreds of channels showcasing wooden actors, inane dialogue, and special effects so cheesy they must have come from dairy cows are yours to enjoy. Oh yes, there's also a premium bill to go with those premium horror channels.

I wish I had perfect vision.


----------



## Draik41895

done,but then deciding to take a look at your antique dagger while taking a walk.you trip and accidentally stab one eye.pulling it out with great force causes you to hit your hands on your knee and rebound into the other eye.you are rushed to the hospital but are now blind and in a coma.

i wish the world was steampunk


----------



## Dr Morbius

TSHHHHHH!!!

As you wake up to your clockwork digital clock alarm, the plapping of the little metal segments are louder than the tiny bell that was supposed to wake you up. No matter, you are looking forward to your new job as riveter at the monorail pod factory. Donning your best victorian style coveralls, you hop the next floating mini-derigible that takes you snaking through the strangest city you could ever imagine, where the gas lamps are contrasted by electrical billboards which depict the latest in steam powered robotic horse drawn carraiges. 

Stepping of the derigible, you stop at the nearest cypercafe and plop down in front of a PC with copper cladded casings that frame the flat screen sitting dark in front of you. You pull on the carraige return knob next to the old fashioned typewriter keyboard to start the mini steam search engine that powers the PC, when you hear a hiss, a POP then everything goes black. Seems one of the rivets on the computer had been blown off from the steam pressure and has buried itself deep in your brain. Maybe steam powered everything isn't such a good idea.

I wish I had pizza on demand.


----------



## Dark Angel 27

*waves her wand* kazam! you have pizza when ever you want...unfortunitely the chef that makes them charges you 50 bucks a pizza...hope you can pay for it!

i wish i knew how to play the bass guitar


----------



## Draik41895

ping! you can but tryin to surf the crowd of newly found fans you hit your head on a metal table in the crowd as the bomb under it goes off and blows you to smitherines.to bad

i wish i was best friends with weird al


----------



## Dr Morbius

Tink!

Your weird neighbor, Al, who lives on Mead St. in Castroville, (you know, the one with the billboards on the corner of Mead and Merritt st) has been known to wear bunny costumes and come over to play video games at peoples houses all day. He always brings artichokes though, but drools alot. He's now your best friend and won't go home. Your family is forced to live at the Artichoke Inn forever, you can never leave and Supermax won't deliver.

I wish I never lived in Castroville.


----------



## RoxyBlue

As you wish - you never lived in Castroville and frequently boast of it to friends and strangers alike. The residents of Castroville get wind of your disdainful remarks and, being a gentle and simple people, are saddened. "Perhaps if we were to send him a gift of artichokes, he will relent in his opinion and give us a second chance". They lovingly prepare for you a basket of their finest artichokes and charge young Draik with the task of delivering it to you. He arrives at your doorstep, basket in hand, and implores you to accept it. You cannot help but be moved by this gesture of goodwill, nor can you ignore the beauty of the most perfect artichokes you've ever seen. As you reach for one to examine it more closely, you prick your finger on one of the spined leaves. The wound seems small, but it's enough of a gateway for the virulent strain of MRSA on the leaves to enter your bloodstream. Within days, you succumb to a massive infection. As you draw your final breath, the word "Castroville" passes your lips. Draik, who has attended you in your illness in shocked remorse, believes it to be your dying wish to attone for your arrogance and be taken to his home town. Your final resting place is a small grave near the artichoke fields, marked by a Morbius groundbreaker.

I wish I had a magic candy box that was always filled with Belgian chocolates.


----------



## rottincorps

Boom! your wish has been granted...............but when you opened the box a nail pricked your finger and you got lock jaw.......Belgian lock jaw for witch there is no cure........and so the box will always be filled to bad so sad.

I wish I had all the time I needed to do what ever I wanted


----------



## RoxyBlue

Granted - You have in your hand an old "family heirloom" - a stopwatch - you've entered the Twilight Zone and are now Patrick McNulty. Go ahead and press the button, and you'll have all the time in the world to do whatever you wish to do. Everyone else, of course, will be frozen. Try not to drop the stopwatch, by the way.

I wish I could train my dog to do the housework for me.


----------



## Don Givens

Bibbity Bobbity Boo. After watching a 24 hour marathon of the Dog Whisperer, you train your dog to do all of the housework. On the first evening, you come home to find all the previous nights dishes have been cleaned and now contain a delicious stew. You are not only amazed at how good the food is but how clean the dishes are. This goes on for a week and on Friday you feel so good you decide to take the afternoon off work. You come home and ask "what's for supper". The dog comes out of the kitchen with a dirty dish in his mouth and says, "well after I finish licking the dishes, I was thinking about making a caserole out of that left over Oppossum carcass I found on Tuesday".

I wish they would cancel American Idol.


----------



## Don Givens

(if nobody can think of anything bad that would happen if they canceled American Idol ..... don't feel bad, neither can I. )


----------



## RoxyBlue

A tap of the tuning fork and poof - American Idol is cancelled. Randy, Paula, and Simon are now out of a job. You come home one day to find them sitting in your living room, loads of time on their hands and ready to critique everything you say or do. There's not an action you can take in your home that goes without comment. not a room you can enter without them shadowing you, observing, criticizing endlessly. At least they're not making other people feel bad anymore.

I wish my shoes weren't pinching my toes.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Kerpowie... your shoes are no longer pinching your toes. In fact, you have tons of room in those big red clown shoes that you are wearing. You know the shoes that match your rainbow hair and red nose? 

I wish for peace on earth for ever and ever.


----------



## Don Givens

RoxyBlue said:


> A tap of the tuning fork and poof - American Idol is cancelled. Randy, Paula, and Simon are now out of a job. You come home one day to find them sitting in your living room, loads of time on their hands and ready to critique everything you say or do. There's not an action you can take in your home that goes without comment. not a room you can enter without them shadowing you, observing, criticizing endlessly. At least they're not making other people feel bad anymore.
> 
> I wish my shoes weren't pinching my toes.


Good one Rox. Maybe it would go something like this.

Randy "Come on Dog it's January, take down the Halloween decorations already.

Simon "You call that a corpse. It looks like a monkey wrestling some bubblegum.

Paula "Don't listen to him Don, I think it looks cute".

Don


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ka-BOOOOOOOM!

Every human being has been vaporized. There is now peace on Earth. Forever.

Since we are all gone, I guess this ends the game.

I wish I could make a wish despite my being vaporized.


----------



## Don Givens

Your wish is granted and after destroying the world over and over for about an hour you get hungry and wish for a cheese burger instead.

I wish this game would never end.


----------



## Draik41895

now your stuck playing this game though eternity,never ending,ever...ever

i wish i had a girlfriend


----------



## Dr Morbius

Your new girlfriend just knocked on your door. Although you have never before met, she hands you a Dear John letter. 

Well, for a brief while, you HAD a girl friend.

I wish Halloween replaced Christmas as the biggest Holiday.


----------



## Monk

POOF! Under the new fascist government, Halloween has been declared the ONLY Holiday! By law, all people are required to wear a Lisa Simpson mask on October 31st and candy corn is the ONLY authorized treat.

I wish I knew how to play the guitar.


----------



## rottincorps

KABLAM! you are now the greatest guitar player of all time, but the only music you can play are kid songs .no ones ever herd the "I love you you love me" Barny song played so well.

I wish I had my own Munsters car to drive not a toy one


----------



## Spooky1

Grandpa-kazam, You now are the proud owner of the original Munster mobile. It's parked right outside your house on 1313 Mockingbird lane. When you go to take it for a drive you notice your feet seem larger than they were before you made your wish. You look in the mirror and see Herman looking back at you. 

I wish could animate the dead (without them harming me)


----------



## Dr Morbius

Twang!

You successfully tie strings to the limbs of every corpse in your county's morgue. While pulling the strings thereby animating them, the police come in and arrest you for molesting the dead. 

I wish I had the greatest haunt in the world.


----------



## Monk

*POOF* As you finish setting up what your haunt, you get an eerie feeling and realize that everything has gotten rather quiet. You look around at a completely barren landscape and soon realize that you are no longer on earth but a different world entirely. You appear to be the only person there and your haunt is by far the greatest in this world because it is the ONLY one as you are the only human being as well.

I wish I had more time to devote to prop building.


----------



## DeathTouch

Wham bam thank you mam you got your wish. You have all the time in the world to do your props but a Mexican prison has its problems. But you seem to manage getting tools thru your cell mate Little Joe to create the best props around.

I wish to be the best haunter in the world!


----------



## Spooky1

Tick, tock, tick, tock, tic.... Time has stopped. You now have as much time as you could ever want to build new and wonderful props. Unfortunantely everthing around you has stopped. Halloween will never arrive because you don't know how to get time moving again.

I wish I could find the lost city of Atlantis


----------



## Don Givens

You find the Lost City of Atlantis just to realize that now you are lost as well.
You live there with three other guys who found it a few years before you and became lost as well. These guys are extremely weird and friendly, maybe a little bit too friendly.



I wish I wasn't starting to come down with a cold. .


----------



## rottincorps

Poof" your cold is gone completely and just as you start to feel better you now have a high fever, with anything and everything coming out both ends......have a nice day



i wish I was superman


----------



## RoxyBlue

Slap of the mop up side your head and voila! You are Super Man, superintendant and all around fix-it-up janitor of one of the largest, grimiest, most pestilent tenement buildings on the planet. You live in the basement in a squalid room without windows, waiting for calls from rude and obnoxious tenants demanding you fix their leaking toilets NOW, and do something about the heat, dammit! You REALLY hate your job.


I wish I knew how to make origami figures.


----------



## Draik41895

you do,but their cursed and eat everything like locust's.bet it sux now.

I wish i was currently dating taylor swift


----------



## RoxyBlue

As you wish - you are currently dating Taylor Swift - carbon dating, that is, as part of a science fair project. Unfortunately, you've taken so many tissue samples from her in an effort to prove she really was born in 1989 that she has expired due to loss of body fluids. Her fans are NOT happy and will be paying you a little visit soon.


I wish I had a tame dragon for a pet.


----------



## Draik41895

ping!you do but something bad happens.The end

i wish i had enough effort to make up a story for this


----------



## Spooky1

Your wish is my command, you sign up for the University of Wish Granting, where professors including Dr. Morbius and Dave the Dead drill you with the how toos and whys of wish granting. You learn how to truely twist a wish like Roxy's:

Dagon apperro...Roxy you find a huge crate on your front lawn. On the crate it's labeled T.A.M.E. Dragon. Your heart soars as your you realize you now own your very own dragon and it's tame. As your prying open the crate you see smoke seeping through the cracks. You open the crate to the beautiful sight of a gourgeous red dragon. Her eyes sparkle as she sees you. It can only be love. You see the evelope with the packing list enclosed. You open the evelope and read "DANGER, Terribly Angry Meat Eating (T.A.M.E.) Dragon. You realize the look in your new dragons eyes wasn't love. It was hunger.

Draik, Unfortunately an accident in the training lab has left your mind a little fuddled and you have been put into a padded room for safe keeping, where you endlessly sing "I wish I was an Oscar Myer weiner".

I wish I could be two places at once so I could work and have fun at the same time.


----------



## Dr Morbius

"DING! Give that man a cigar!"

Your job at the carnival, although it doesn't pay worth a squat, is the one you have the most fun at. That is until you get run over by a the rollercoaster. Splitting you in half, you are now in two places at once. At least you worked and had fun the same time!

I wish people would make more wishes!


----------



## dave the dead

DENIED!

I have been pondering the ramifications of more people making wishes and have come to the conclusion that you are a sadistic SOB. While studying up on who actually gets to make wishes, I came across the "Make a Wish Foundation"... a very reputable outfit that grants wishes to terminally ill children. By wishing that there were more people making wishes, you have actually wished for more terminally ill children, and I am not the type of person to play those games , Bub. Go take your sick children, kitten shaving, puppy drowning attitude somewhere else! 

No wish for you until you learn to play nice.


I wish that Denny's sold T-shirts of their fabulous new pancake spokeperson "Nannerpuss"


----------



## RoxyBlue

Your wish is granted - the strange yet appealing T-shirts are now in production, and are they ever a hot item. Demand soars to the point that Dennys, ever mindful of the bottom line, decides to move its manufacturing plant to an obscure Third World country where child labor is plentiful and cheap. Working conditions, however, are not so appealing - the factory is dirty and noisy, the children are on their feet 14 hours a day, seven days a week, earning the equivalent of a few pennies a day. The plant foreman is the most grasping, miserly, inhumane abomination to walk the face of the earth, and that's on his good days. The children are no better than slave labor, longing for a better world, wishing for sweet release from their wretched lives, but they are trapped - trapped because some thoughtless bastard denied Dr Morbius his simple humane request which would allow those wishes to be made. Who could that have been? Hmmmmm.....


I wish the pastor at my church wouldn't give such long sermons.


----------



## Don Givens

shazam ......... your wish is granted. Your pastor begins losing his faith and each Sunday the sermons get shorter and shorter. Pretty soon your pastor movess from preaching the faith, to questioning the faith, to leading a full blown revolution against the church. Your pastor and his brain washed followers kill other members of the congregation who begin to ask questions. You are able to sneak out and call the police but then you watch in horror as gunfire is exchanged, tear gas launched, and your church burns to the ground killing everyone inside all because you wanted a shorter sermon. 

I couldn't think of anything to wish for but Bill Clinton asked me to make a wish on his behalf. I wish Hillary Clinton would get abducted by ugly stinky aliens that worship overbearing women with thick ankles.


----------



## rottincorps

BANG!....your wish has been granted....Hillary has been deported to Mexico.


I wish I could stop all award shows that give actors a reason to shoot there stupid mouths off


----------



## dave the dead

and the award goes to.....
You start a fundamentalist campaign against the little known Awards show known as the "Sadies...proudly recognizing outstanding S&M performance worldwide" One of the categories goes to actors performing bold self mutilations, including public amputations, repetative cuttings, and yes, shooting off their mouths.
Your campaign actually works, stopping the "Sadies" in its tracks... for a while. However, Fox decides this would be a good idea for a new reality tv show since you have brought the subject into the public, and sapping off the controversy you have caused it becomes a hugely successful broadcast.

I wish i could get the voices in my head to quit singing bluegrass songs.


----------



## Don Givens

Your wish is granted and the voices in your head are replaced by the panel of the View discussing their monthly cycles. You go to your doctor who advises the only person who can help you is Dr Kevorkian.

I wish the President would have a bad case of loud, uncontrollable, flatulance during his next State of the Union address.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Granted, and you've positioned yourself nearby in order to enjoy the embarrassing event to the fullest. Tears stream down your cheeks as you howl with laughter along with the rest of the crowd. Unfortunately, your mirth is terminated rather abruptly when the guy sitting next to you decides to light up a cigarette. A spectacular fireball of lit flatus engulfs you in flames. By the time the fire trucks show up, all that's left of you is a few charred teeth. You did, however, get top story billing on the evening news.


I wish I could be the inventor of a pill that helps people lose weight without dieting or exercise.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ting! You invent a pill that causes people to lose an instant 10 pounds! the marketing is brilliant, as use Lindsay Lohan as your spokes person. 
You are filthy rich, as everyone on the planet is buying your product. Suddenly the power goes out, and everything is quiet. Seems everyones heads have fallen off.

I wish My wish for people to make more wishes would be granted!


----------



## Monk

BAM!!! People are beginning to make wishes at an unprecedented rate. The wishes are flow ing like Niagra Falls, the thing is, YOU are forced at gun point to grant each and every wish made. The government agents responsible for ensuring you accomplish your assigned task are highly trained and enjoy their job a bit too much as they decide that you are taking too long to grant the wishes and implement increasing levels of torture not seen since the Middle Ages to help stimulate your production.

I wish I had a Mojito right now.


----------



## Mr Unpleasant

Sha-bing I present you with your granted wish









Oh, com'on this has to be close

I wish we had those future cars that we were promised back in the 70's


----------



## RoxyBlue

One moment while we rev up the wish-granting wand and voila! The future cars are here, thousands of them, and you've been granted exclusive sales rights to all of them. They are stunningly modern, sleek, and downright sexy. Hordes of people show up demanding a test drive and that's when you discover that, though the future cars are here now and on your lot, the future fuel they need to run on has yet to be invented. You try to explain and claim "scientists are working on it", but the mob is not happy and not buying it. You're surrounded by angry, demanding customers and there's talk of lynching. Better find an escape route...if you can.

I wish I could sculpt props as beautiful and imaginative as the ones Dave the Dead makes.


----------



## Monk

POOF! You find yourself easily sculpting wonderful creations. These props are as beautiful and imaginitaive as the ones Dave the Dead makes, wait they ARE the ones Dave the Dead makes. YOU are now Dave the Dead and he is now Roxyblue.

I wish my $20 prop would be finished already.


----------



## dave the dead

zappo-slappo!

You throw together some hideous assortment of scrap lumber, recycled bottles, duct tape , and aluminum cans....it bears no resemblance to anything haunted, but at least it is done.

I wish Spooky 1 wasn't such a snuggler in bed.


----------



## Spooky1

I notice there seems to be something different about Roxy suddenly. She's not the affectionate Roxy I know and love. Even the dog seems to give her the eye and won't come near her. I have the priest come over to perform an exorcism. But to no avail. She just keeps saying she's someone named Dave. I have to have her committed to the local rest home. So there's no more snuggling going on.  

I wish I had my Roxy back.


----------



## RoxyBlue

As I love you, I grant you your wish. I am back, heart & soul, the Roxy you know and love. Everything is as it once was...well, mostly...I did have to kind of agree to let Dave the Dead come along. He said he misses the time he had with you and the snuggling part really wasn't SO awful and I didn't have the heart to say "no", he looked so pitiful, and, well, we're not going to ever be alone again or have any privacy of any kind. On the bright side, we'll have the best props in town for Halloween.


I wish I could come up with some new recipes for dinner.


----------



## Wildcat

Granted. You've now come up with the most delicious recipe of your life, however while in mid preperations you slip on some spilled water, bang your head and completley forget how to cook.

Sorry Spooky1. I guess this one really affect you.

I wish I could get better at drumming faster.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Zildian-a-whacko

While slow drumming has always been your forte', brushes in hand playing lounges and such, you decide that in order to drum faster for the new metal band you joined you take in 2 ounces of methamphetamine. During the rehearsals you wow the the band members with your incredibly fast drumming. During a solo your heart explodes through your chest spewing blood and heart tissue all over your drum kit. What a finale'!

I wish to live in New England


----------



## Bone To Pick

Whoopedeedoo zalamazoo

You are magically transported to the most quaint and picturesque little village that New England has to offer, where you are immediate seized by the townsfolk who assume you must be a witch since you appeared magically. They rip your arms and legs off, hang and then burn you at the stake. Your remains come to rest in a dump, stuck to old maple syrup slurry and lobster shells.

I wish I had a front yard to decorate.


----------



## dave the dead

zap! You now have a front yard on the most traveled street in town. You salivate thinking about all the people that are going to see your display, and look forward to decorating...however, when the time comes to start putting out all your decorations, you realize that you just aren't into the traditional halloween decorations anymore...instead of decorating with skulls and ghosts and tombstones, you opt for a less traditional "hello Kitty" theme for your new front yard.


I wish I didn't have to work late Friday so i could get an early start to Ironstock.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Tink!

You have been fired from your job, so you won't be working late Friday. Your new job making wrought iron fences from Iron Stock...starts Saturday.

I wish I could invent a perpetual motion machine that really works.


----------



## dave the dead

granted!
You genius, you! It has taken years and years, but you have sucessfully invented an honest-to-god perpetual motion machine...and it even works. Your design is quite attractive and flashy, with stainless steel gizmos and whatsits galore. Unfortunately you are a amrketing numbskull, and target your invention to Mall boutiques and kiosks that specialize in "Executive Gifts". Your clever invention gets shelved alongside of miniature desktop putting greens, overpriced wine caddies, and deluxe toenail trimmers. Nobody notices the product, and you have to clearance your entire stock after Christmas for 75% off retail along with the other thoughtless gifts.

I wish my cat would stop barfing in the hallway. I'm really sick of stepping in it first thing in the morning.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Vomiticus!

You're cat no longer barfs in the hallway. He now barfs in your slippers. At least before you had a CHANCE of avoiding stepping in it!


I wish mall kiosks were a mecca for prop builders.


----------



## Bone To Pick

shoppa ata mallus!

You are trampled to death in a stampede of IronStock attendees making a pilgrimage to the local mall kiosk.

I wish I could have more time to relax this summer.


----------



## Just Whisper

Voila! It is done. While at Morbius' Mall Kiosk you were also trampled. You were lucky enough to come out with only 2 broken legs, and a severely injured neck. You get to spend all summer in traction. But on the bright side, the huge smelly nurse from the hospital will be by your side the whole time. You won't have to lift a finger. So relax.

I wish I had more room in my garage to work on my props.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Kabammmo!

While perfecting your flame-throwing pumpkin, your propane tank explodes, taking those nasty intrusive limiting walls away in the process. You now have tons of room to work on props...provided it isn't raining.

I wish I had all the Mozzerella cheese I could eat.


----------



## Spooky1

Alla Ka Cheesio,

While day dreaming of mountains of Mozzerella cheese, you trip over your groundbreaker zombie and break your jaw in a fall. Your jaw gets wired shut at the hospital. So for the next month you can't eat solid food. So even though you have no Mozzerella cheese, you have all you can eat. 

I wish I could grow a giant pumpkin for Halloween.


----------



## Bone To Pick

carvus Cucurbita giganticos!

A magical pumpkin seed is bestowed upon you, but gets dropped into your dinner salad. You consume it and alas it takes root in your head, inflating to the size of a VW bug. This precarious situation is exacerbated by the fact that Roxy rolls you out to the front porch and tries to shove a candle down your throat. Your skin, however, does develop a healthy orange glow.

I wish my wife was a better cook.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ala Cuisine'!

You wake up and turn to face your wife in bed only to find she has turned into Food Networks Iron Chef Bobby Flay...and she is feeling quite amorous this morning!

I wish I could teleport anywhere in the world (earth).


----------



## RoxyBlue

Granted - You may now teleport anywhere IN the earth, as in "underground". Your lovely neighbors include slimy earthworms and rabid gophers, and you are free to enjoy the ambience of landfills brimming with trash and hazardous materials. It's a messy way to travel, but the nice thing is, the temperature underground tends to stay the same no matter where you go....unless you accidentally teleport into an underground stream of lava.

I wish I could lift weights without my shoulder hurting.


----------



## Haunted Bayou

Deltoidus dismemberum

Your wish is granted. However, your shoulder will no longer hurt because you can't lift weights. Your arm was ripped off at the shoulder while lifting 400 # on the shoulder press. Instead of putting it in ice to save it for re-attachment, Spooky1 pickled it and will use it his new grave-grabber zombie prop.

I wish I could get a good night's sleep.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Poof... You get a good night's sleep. In fact, you get such a good night's sleep that you become the next sleeping beauty, but alas, there is no prince to awaken you from your sleep with a kiss and you sleep for 200 years. The good news is that you do wake up, but the bad news is that aliens have taken over the earth and have been monitoring you while you sleep and now that you are awake, they have a laundry list of probing exploratory procedures to perform on you.

I wish I could meet and marry the man of my dreams.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ding!

In an unusual ceremony, you marry the man of your dreams. Invisible to everyone including you in the waking world, you stand alone at the alter while all your friends and family sit with concern for your mental state.

One year later, the IRS is knocking on your door...seems you have been filing jointly as married to a man who doesn't exist. 


Good news is, you can bring him to prison with you and no one will notice!


I wish for a kitten.


----------



## dave the dead

as you wish...

Your kitten arrives, but it is well done with a side of slaw instead of rare with potato salad as ordered.

I wish humans has the same physical construction that allows dogs to poop without wiping. 
Man that would be great.


----------



## Bone To Pick

Poopff!!

You wish is granted - your spine now curves downward quite elegantly, allowing you unmatched access to the nether regions and your hygienic method of choice. Unfortunately your upward mobility is nill, so you're forced to spend much of your time witnessing the consequences of your diet. Your pose, while no less dramatic and scary than that of your props, is somewhat less Halloweenish and haunt-appropriate. On the plus side, you've "got your back," as it were. I would strongly recommend breath mints.

I wish that a good steak didn't cost so much.


----------



## dave the dead

Homonymicus granticus!
You have just attended the best costume party of your life, where your rendition of a flawless dracula has won you first prize! The teeth you wore are so comfortable, that you forget you are wearing them, and while on the bus ride home you smile politely at the elderly old lady sitting in the seat across from you. 
Unbeknownst to you, the old broad is a vampire slayer...she spies your sharp canines and springs from her seat in a single graceful motion, so very catlike that it takes you by complete surprise....She delivers a fatal blow with a sharpened piece of oak that she had hidden, strapped to her garters.

The STAKE has cost you absolutely nothing...(er...other than your life)

I wish that I could move objects with the power of my mind.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Telekenosis!

With the power of your mind, you are able to place your hand around objects and move them! Well, it's not exciting, but it gets the job done!

I wish they still make the TV show Gunsmoke.


----------



## Just Whisper

Televisionis Impracticus...it is done.

You are now living in the year 1956, where the hit show Gunsmoke is still in it's early life. As are you. As a 25 year old starving actor wanna be you take a small part as an extra in the show where you find Amanda Blake greatly enamored of you. You cannot seem to shake her and she follows you around like a puppy day and night. James Arness gets jealous, hunts you down after the show airs and kills you. Your life ended then but Gunsmoke went on for another 19 years.

I wish money grew on trees.


----------



## Bone To Pick

E Pluribus Kunundrum!!

You awake to find the foliage on your property flush with money! Unfortunately they are Iranian Rials. Finally harvesting over 50,000 of them, you are able to splurge on a hamburger combo at McDonalds. As a bonus, you are added to the terrorist watch list. Now under surveillance and having recently showered, you are spotted with a towel wrapped around your head while cleaning your AR15. Congratulations, you've just won a free trip to Gitmo!

I wish it was cheaper to fly.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Hum a few bars of "Leaving on a jet plane" and behold - you are now chief flight attendant for Amelia Earhart Airlines, and if she flew on one of these planes, you can understand why it went down. The most common repair material looks suspiciously like duct tape and the cabin seems unusually well ventilated and sunlit for a plane. You suspect that the pilot keeps a bottle of liquid refreshment under his seat, although he stoutly insists that the odor in the cockpit is just hand disinfectant. The pay is decent and you do get to fly for free anywhere between the airline's home base of Hopewell, Virginia, home of a profoundly fragrant paper mill, and northern New Jersey, home to even more profoundly fragrant chemical plants. You also earn bonus miles you can redeem for a free flight on one of AEA's subsidiaries, Ebola Airlines.


I wish I had a pet trained falcon.


----------



## dave the dead

granted.

You are now the proud owner of a genuine pet-trained falcon...trained by your dog. The falcon has learned how to dig holes in the yard, bark at nothing in particular, dry-hump a leg, and scoot its butt on the carpet. 

I wish somebody would come clean out my fish tank.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ravinousosoty!

You awake to the sounds of splashing in the room you keep you fishtank in. Investigating, you find your wife is hunched over the tank, her hair wet. Seems she has cleaned out your tank of all the fish! Slurping down the last fin, she turns to you and demands a divorce because she is tired of being the butt of all your messed up wishes!


I wish 3D movies could be seen without the aid of special glasses.


----------



## dave the dead

Opticus Blurrify!!!

You have just wished for something that already exists. You can already see any 3D movie without the aid of special glasses...however the 3D effect cannot be appreciated and you give yourself a horrible headache trying...your eyesight gets much worse and you end up needing special glasses like Mr. McGoo just to function in everyday life.

I wish people wouldn't wish for things that they can already have.


----------



## Devils Chariot

Klatuu verata nikhal'ds;vabsadbvk cough cough (looks around)

Your wish is granted.

The worldwide economy tanked one week after Dave's wish came true. People all over the world learned to be happy with what they had and stopped buying new cars and granite counter tops. In addition, everyone married the first person they had sex with, and which over time let to a divorce rate of 97% and a plummet in populations around the world. 

Another side effect of Dave's wish was that people now wished for insanely impossible things, like cthulu's return, 3 foot wangs, and world peace.

I wish pizza had great taste and zero calories.


----------



## Spooky1

Abbra- piazzio,

You are feasting on the most wonderful, tasty pizza with all the fixing you love. You worry about all those calories as the grease drips down your chin, but don't worry there's not a single calorie involved. When a gentleman named Morpheus came to you with all the answers you chose the blue pill. Ignorance is bliss and your happily unaware you're in a goo filled pod with tubes giving you all your nutrient to live, the pizza is just a figment of your imagination. All the while you are producing power for your robot masters. Welcome to the Matrix.

I wish I could run as fast as the speed of sound.


----------



## dave the dead

BeepBeep! Zip-Bang!
Your wish has been granted...while the physical limits of the human body prevent you from running any faster than before, the speed of sound has been decreased to your personal maximum speed. Around the world, the sound barrier is broken by anything going faster than the speed of--wel, YOU. All manmade objects are reduced to dust from the repeated sonic booms...the world's population goes deaf having not been prepared for the sudden change in the decibal level...

I WISH I COULD HEAR YOUR NEXT WISH!!!!


----------



## Haunted Bayou

runneth fasteth

Poof ... you can now run at the speed of sound.... in the vacuum of space. You are now the slowest person in the world and people wonder why you just stand around. You are subjected to spending your life in a wheel chair but on the upside you qualify for disability and great parking spaces for your new van.

I wish I could win the lotto.


----------



## Devils Chariot

Schmokus Pokus!!!

Haunted Bayou did win the lottery.

She bought the fright catalogs entire stock and rolled around in it naked drinking champagne for the next 102 days.

Then all her money was suddenly gone, as the next person to post has wished for all of Haunted Bayou's earthly possessions.

I wish I had all of Haunted Bayous stuff.


----------



## Haunted Bayou

Whoops.....Dave beat me to it.

Auris Dexter....you can now hear my next wish. 

However, in order to do that you had to Implant you with a special hearing aid that allow you to hear thoughts. Overwhelmed by the constant day to day drivel of the common man, you feel as though you are stuck in a really bad Twilight Zone episode and lock yourself in a sound-proof booth with no company except your own thoughts and a fly that went in with you.

I granted Dave's wish...now somebody must grant DCs.
Then we will be back on track.


----------



## Bone To Pick

Devils Chariot said:


> Schmokus Pokus!!!
> 
> Haunted Bayou did win the lottery.
> 
> She bought the fright catalogs entire stock and rolled around in it naked drinking champagne for the next 102 days.
> 
> Then all her money was suddenly gone, as the next person to post has wished for all of Haunted Bayou's earthly possessions.
> 
> I wish I had all of Haunted Bayous stuff.


Breakia Ando Enteringus!

You have all of Haunted Bayou's stuff. She wants most of it back. The police are coming for a visit. Unfortunately you also acquired her bills and debt. That's the stuff she allows you to keep.

I wish my cat would come when I call her.


----------



## Devils Chariot

Poor Bone to Pick, wished his cat would come when he called her.

Now every time he says her name, she falls over and orgasms. WTF!? Inflection and name changes have no affect. If he looks at her and speaks, she's in the nasty fits again. Ignoring her didn't work, because now she's in love with him, and will not leave him alone. Even cursing while looking at her works.

This has attracted the attention of neighborhood tom cats, who mill about house meowing all hours of the day and night, and number in the thousands.

I wish buckys grew on trees.


----------



## lewlew

Sliviculturous buckio grantis!!!!

Unfortunately, ALL trees begin to bear this grisly fruit. The produce market collapses. The combined weight of all those buckies brings even the mighty sequoias crashing to the ground. Property damage is in the trillions. To make things worse, SOMEONE on the internet leaks that it was your wish that brought it about. You are strung up from the nearest tree and become just another skeleton hanging from a tree.

I wish I had as many wishes as I want.


----------



## Devils Chariot

hottchie kootchie shazam

and so it was that lewlew had all the wishes he wanted. He got rich, he had three super model wives, twelve Lamborghinis, 20 pools amongst his 10 houses, one of which was built atop of the White House. He ate at the finest restaurants, drank the finish champagnes and 700 year old whiskey. He smoked Fidel Castro's body which he had wished into tobacco leaves. It was delicious! He wished away Hitler and Stalin, undid the potato famine and Indian displacement in the new world, and even saved Jesus.

But he got tired of wishing and was unhappy with everything he had wished for, in his utter sadness he wished that there were never wishes and that all wishes would never come true. In sudden darkness god sat alone blowing on a spark that would never light.

I wish politicians didn't make a living from lying.


----------



## Mr_Chicken

:wiggle nose: [soundfx]deedle deedle dee![/soundfx]

And the politicians stopped making a living from lying. Not having any other talents, they stopped making a living at all. They became cannibals to satisfy their hunger, for they had no money to buy, and no skills to make, food. They devoured everyone on the planet, then proceeded to devour their own kind. Soon, there was only one cannibalistic ex-politician remaining. He ate his foot, lost a good barrelful of blood, and died. Bunnies now rule the earth.

I wish bluckies looked more realistic...


----------



## dave the dead

mophicus plasticus!

The Blucky magically becomes the worldwide standard of human anatomy...the bones of all living humans are mysteriously morphed so that they match the anatomical anomalies proudly produced in China. It is a painful transformation for humankind....ribcages are flattened, spines shortened, arms lengthed, hands and feet fused into lumps of flesh and bone...pelvis' are puffed out and joints are rendered unuseable. Internal organs are bruised and smashed as they try to relocate in the new blucky-ized human form. Your thoughless wish painfully kills off all of humankind in one fell swoop. Bunnies now rule the earth.

I wish I could remove the popcorn hull that has been stuck between my teeth for the last few days.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Orvilius Redenbockerus!

While the popcorn was delicious, the husk between your teeth has driven you insane. Not being able to take it anymore, you rush to your shop and grab a hammer then proceed to pound all your teeth out of your mouth. Feeling sorry for you, I grant you the wish that popcorn was never invented, a wish you made as you shattered each tooth. This causes a woldwide envirionmental disaster as corn was a mainstay in the diet of most animals and birds. All cattle die as well as birds and all the anomals that depended on birds to live. Plants are no longer polinated and die off. Bunnies now rule the earth.

I wish that the orgasm-having cat wish was never granted.


----------



## Bone To Pick

Felineous Assaultium!

Your wish is granted. The cat shows up at your doorstep the next day, unsatisfied and unwilling to take "no" for an answer. The first addition to your new family shows up 7 weeks later:










I wish my home remodel was finished.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Archatectinundum!

Your home remodel is now complete....with paisley walls, fishtank floors and a consistant disco motif everywhere. 

While going to the bathroom you trip on your shag carpet, banging your head on the wall. This causes you to come up with a seething hatred for all mankind for inventing shag carpet in the first place. You toil for months on a machine to eradicate all humans, and you finally succeed. Bunnies now rule the Earth.


I wish to please my new Bunny master.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Granted!

You are now the willing slave of Hugh Hefner, Master of all Bunnies. He's getting along in years and has developed some odd, shall we say, proclivities, but you do whatever he asks with a willing heart. And of course, in spite of his age, he still has one thing in common with rabbits, but we're sure you'll do your best to "please" him in that respect as well. Utter devotion is so charming, don't you think?

I wish I could take care of the baby animals at the zoo that aren't bunnies.


----------



## Dark Angel 27

shazam! 

you are now the main cartaker of almost all the baby animals at the zoo! unfortunitely you spend so much time takeing care of them that you forget to sleep and you look so scary and irritated that people are starting to think you are a real life zombie! very soon, a zombie hunter comes in a blows your head off your shoulders and your remains are fed to the alligators!

i wish i had 2 more fog machines!


----------



## The Archivist

Granted!!

Unfortunately, your significant other (husband, whatever) thinks they are TV projectors and tries to hook them up to the ceiling where they burn up for having the wrong voltage taking out the power for not only your place but the whole neighborhood.

I wish I could get a decent paying job (with medical benefits) in this lousy economy.


----------



## dave the dead

Plastico disposo!
You get a job removing the buckets and buckets of cellulite and other 'leavings' from a plastic surgeon's office. The pay is decent...not excessive but way more than you used to get in your old job in the archives. ....the best part of the job is the medical benefits though.... All-you-can-eat human fatty tissue and medical waste! You earn enough of an income to purchase a modest home in the suburbs and 20 large chest-type deep-freezers. You are known as 'the quiet type' by your neighbors until the week of the power outage...all your 'medical benefits' turn rancid and the FBI storms your place, locking you away for life.

I wish I could scrub the image of Dr. Morbius in a Playboy Bunny outfit from my mind.


----------



## The Archivist

dave the dead said:


> Plastico disposo!
> You get a job removing the buckets and buckets of cellulite and other 'leavings' from a plastic surgeon's office. The pay is decent...not excessive but way more than you used to get in your old job in the archives. ....the best part of the job is the medical benefits though.... All-you-can-eat human fatty tissue and medical waste! You earn enough of an income to purchase a modest home in the suburbs and 20 large chest-type deep-freezers. You are known as 'the quiet type' by your neighbors until the week of the power outage...all your 'medical benefits' turn rancid and the FBI storms your place, locking you away for life.
> 
> I wish I could scrub the image of Dr. Morbius in a Playboy Bunny outfit from my mind.


My eyes!!! What a horrible image to have especially nearing dinnertime.


----------



## Mr_Chicken

scrub a dub dub!

You discover a new cleaning solution strong enough to scrub the image of Dr. Morbius in a Playboy Bunny outfit from your mind. Unfortunately, the soap is so abrasive that you manage to scrub out most of the rest of your mind too. You are now a loopy nutcase. You donate all your props to me. You then proceed to seek out "the great one"....who turns out to be a bunny. It is you who begins to worship the "greater species." Others, not realizing you are a loopy nutcase, follow suit. Bunnies now rule the Earth.

I wish my laptop were faster...


----------



## Devils Chariot

95 98 2000 millienium xp vista kaboom!

Your wish has been granted. Your laptop now computes at the speed of light! In only a week you read the entire internet, and now find yourself utterly bored. You have 1,000,000 posts on hauntforum and crash the server, destroying all data on the hardrives.

Then your computer crashes. Because it windows and processes at the speed of light, it created black hole in your cd-rom drive which continues to grow. By the time a slave wage indian microsft support person answers the phone, the planet is compressed into the the area of a single grain of sand and all of mankind blink out of existence.

I wish I had nice cats, instead of bastard cats.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Wave a wand over a bowl of cream and behold! You now have the nicest cats ever to grace the planet. They are sweet natured, gentle, and inoffensive. They wouldn't hurt a fly or any other living creature, including the hordes of bunnies that have learned your yard is a haven from harm. Not only do they eat all your plants, they eventually infiltrate your home, taking over every available space. Bunnies rule your world.

As to those bastard cats that were kicked out of your home, PETA got wind of it and has filed an animal cruelty suit against you, as well as another suit due to what appears to be bunny hoarding under less than sanitary conditions. You might want to wish for a good lawyer.


I wish I could find a $20 bill in my wallet every time I open it.


----------



## Devils Chariot

bueracrat plutocrat technocrat rove

You wish is granted. But due to inflation caused by the republican healthcare plan ( I thought it was supposed to be MORE affordable and cost LESS) the $1 dollar bill has been so devalued it now is replaced by the $21 dollar bill.

In addition the Constant War and Badassery Act of 2012 which President Rove signed into law requires a $21 daily tax on all Americans (except the ultra rich) to pay for all 20 of the United States ongoing wars, including the Global War on Porn.


I wish I had a house with a big yard for haunting. (make me regret that!)


----------



## Spooky1

Hey DC, you need to make your wish.


----------



## Devils Chariot

i did...edited


----------



## Mr_Chicken

Klaatu Barada N*cough*!

Your yard is massive...So massive that no one lives within 5 miles of you, so no one comes to see your haunt...So massive that the internet company refuses to venture into the vast foggy expanse to hook you up, so you can't show off your work on the HF crew either. The only one willing to visit you is a lone rodent with long floppy ears. You devote all your time to said rodent's happiness. You will do anything to keep your only companion around. You are ruled by the bunny.

I wish I had more storage space...


----------



## Devils Chariot

vacouse emptiness havicus storagicous!

Your wish has been granted. You now have more storage space. Your colon and lower intestine are now 1500 cubic feet. Trucks can drive down your gullet or up the back entrance where they will unload all of your props and equipment. Since I granted the wish, I will also store my props there, from my giant yard 5 miles across that I received via my last wish. Rats and cockroaches have moved in too of course, and now homeless men build fires around you and sleep in your shadow.

Now that your ginormous, the city is litigating against you for zoning violations. You have accrued 7 different suits against you as you walk across town already to the courthouse, moving from industrial to commercial to residential or rural and so on.

I wish that tomorrows water skiing and boat outing will be fun and no jerks will show up.


----------



## Bone To Pick

Expeliarmus jerkicuous!! Granted!!

You break your ankle while trying to kick the bunny that rules over you, and are unable to attend the outing. Your friends text and send images, showing what a fun time they had on the water without you.
devil: LOL - sorry DC, couldn't resist!)

I wish that it would be warm in Michigan next week when I visit.


----------



## Mr_Chicken

globalus warmingus skedoo!

"Warm" is a point of view, and the polar bears are quite happy to have found refuge in Michigan. The human Michiganders have all fled to find some decent weather. By the time you get to Michigan, all of Michigan (except for the polar bears) is now in the Golden State looking for you. By the time you escape from "warm" Michigan (you had to walk all the way back, since there was no one there to fly you) you have forgotten why you wanted to go there in the first place. Such a pity.

I wish colleges had websites that were easier to navigate...


----------



## Dr Morbius

Sumasicuscumlauditus!

All colleges are now equipped with simple curriculum and websites to match...they look like childrens books, (in fact those will be the texts you will be using!) Navigating the flowers and crayon links is a snap, and youare quickly enrolled. Too bad college degrees are now worthless due to the fact that the hardest class is fingerpainting. Better pack you lunch in your scoobydoo lunchbox and carry everything in your Hannah Montana backpack and catch that short bus...Oh! And don't forget you crayons and Bunny Ruler! 

I wish to have unlimited props from SpiritHalloween.com anytime I want.


----------



## Hedge_Rider

Spiritus Samhain Overloadus

Everything you want from spirithalloween.com is yours. However they ship ever item separately. Shipping cost are ten time the cost of the items you order. Eventually you have to sell all of your Halloween Props just to pay off your UPS Bill.

I wish for my own Six Flags Styled Theme Park devoted to Halloween.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Tickets please!

Your Six Flags style theme park devoted to Halloween is going great! Untill someone is thrown from the spinning Jack-O-Lantern ride and dies. The family sues you for all your Halloween related stuff in the park. You are now required, as part of the settlement, to have an Easter themed park were all the attractions are fluffy and soft and safe. Bunnies now rule the Easter World Park.

I wish cars were made from Peanutbutter and Nerf material.


----------



## fxartist

great. But while driving, your car melts and you fall through the NERF material, and get shredded by the road.

I wish my bucky could talk!


----------



## Spooky1

Boneus vocabulus

From the dark corner you now hear a soft raspy voice "I've been watching you", and he has. Everything you've been doing was seen by your Bucky. Every website you surfed, every minor (or not so minor) legal infraction you've made. The police show up shortly afterward. They seem to have gotten a tip from an unknown source (with a soft raspy voice). While you sort out your legal situation your Bucky takes over your haunt and is the talk of the town.

I wish I understood the engineering side of animated props.


----------



## RoxyBlue

As you wish!

And what better way to understand engineering than to become an engineer - specifically, a tiny engineer on board a miniature fully animated model of Thomas the Tank Engine. You are now part of a permanent window display featuring Thomas & Friends, running endlessly around a circular track, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. On the bright side, every Halloween a small collection of Spooky Town figures and buildings are added to the display for "seasonal interest".

I wish there was always a plate of freshly baked brownies in the kitchen.


----------



## Spooky1

Your wish is my command,

I'll bake you a plate of brownies everyday. Unfortunantly I'm an itty-bitty engineer at the moment and the plate of brownies I make are barely a crumb too you (it's one way to hold the calorie count down). 

I wish I was my full sized self again.


----------



## debbie5

POOF! You are your full sized self again,but certain essential parts of you didn't get mojo-ed by the magic, and remain itty bitty sized. One of those parts is your butt. You now poop Raisinets.

I wish I had a crystal ball to see the future.


----------



## RoxyBlue

A delicate tap of the wand and behold - you hold in your hands the most marvelous of crystal balls, swirling with color and and a display of light so beautiful that you can hardly bear to peer into its depths to discern your future - but peer you do. The swirls of color clear as a vision appears before your dazzled eyes. You gaze in horror as you realize that your future consists of you eating freshly pooped out Raisinets, day after day after day.

I wish I hadn't gotten bitten by that tick last week.


----------



## dave the dead

kazaaamm! 
Instead of getting bit by the tick, you got bit by the rabid dog that the tick used to call home.

I wish I could get excited about setting up my yard this year.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Erectus Bonerium!

Setting up your yard has given you the feeling of constant excitement and arousal. The neighbors, noticing that you have "pitched a tent" in your front yard tells their children not to go to your house for Halloween. Your yard, although barren of Trick or Treaters, has you reaching for a cigarette at the end of the night. Your wife is wondering why, on every date night, your props are set up outside.

I wish every channel on TV showed Halloween specials and horror movies all year around.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Take this bewitched remote into your greedy hands, press the "PermaFear" button, and it shall be as you wish....

Now every channel on your TV plays Halloween specials and horror movies, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, day after day. You are in horror heaven - none of those cheesy reality shows, lame soap operas, or boring news shows for you now! You race home from work each night to watch the tube for hours, even if it's the 31st showing of "Bride of Frankenstein". At first your family and friends are amused by your obsession, until they notice you're beginning to neglect basic things like personal hygiene, eating, sleeping, and family responsibilities. Your wife becomes alarmed and begs you to take a break, only to hear you mutter "wait, this is the part where that alien thing bursts out of the guy's chest". Finally, after getting a call from Dave the Dead's exhausted wife, she decides to leave you and move in with them because, as she so bluntly puts it, "at least HE can still 'pitch a tent'". You barely notice as the door slams behind her, nor will you notice your slow peaceful fading into oblivion over the next several weeks.

I wish someone would prepare a delicious breakfast in bed on Saturday mornings for Spooky1 and me.


----------



## Bone To Pick

Eggonium Benedictos!!

After celebrating with a few too many beers at the local bar on Friday night, you awaken on Saturday morning shocked to find the staff of the local IHOP lying in bed with you and spooky. While Blanch the 80-year-old stripper/waitress continues to spoon spooky, Hank the chef proudly announces that the staff will prepare breakfast for you in bed. Your enthusiam turns to apprehension when, instead of getting up and heading toward the kitchen, Hank cracks open a few eggs and begins poaching them on the electric blanket. When something wet and cold comes in contact with your back side, you trace the line of liquid back to it's source where a cook is cutting up melons into tasty little chunks at the foot of the bed. The cup of coffee Blanch hands you smells wonderful, though you're disturbed by the clown-like makeup imprint she's left on the pillow next to spooky with her face. You realize that you don't even want to know where the potatoes and toast came from. All in all it ends up a delicious breakfast. You just wish now that you hadn't been laying in it.

I wish that I could have my 25-year-old physique back.


----------



## dave the dead

granted! 
Your physique returns to that of a 25 year old...your mind, however, advances to that of a 103 year old. You are a perfect specimen of health as you sit in your rocker and drool away the rest of your days....

I wish this thread had seen more activity since the last post of Oct 22!


----------



## nixie

Granted... This thread was on top of the list for the last couple of months, however the comments got way out of hand, everyone lost their tempers and got themselves banned. Your precious thread was subsequently shut down, Hope you're happy now...

I wish I was finished with my Christmas shopping.


----------



## dave the dead

Gifticus Completicum!
having developed a severe dread that you will never get your shopping done, you stop by your local drug store and make a desparate purchase for everyone on your list....On Christmas morning you realize quickly that the commercials were highly exagerated...NOBODY wanted a chia pet after all.

I wish for a heated workspace where I can sculpt in the winter months in comfort.


----------



## nixie

As you shiver in your icy workspace, you notice a soft amber-red vortex in the corner of the room. In trance-like curiosity you are beckoned toward the spinning glow when you hear a high pitched _CRACK_. With a painful jerk, you are pulled into the vortex, your sculpting tools flying around you as though your entire workshop has been swept up by a tornado. Nausea overcomes you as you whirl through increasing darkness. You have no sense of what direction you are going or how long you have been in the vortex, you can only distinguish that the air around you is growing intensely hot. You and materials come to a sudden crash on unfamiliar ground. As your eyes begin to focus, you can see only fire that seems to go on forever. Before you is a table, where your sculpting tools have been meticulously laid out. In a dizzy stupor, you wonder out loud, "Where am I?" Your only reply is a wicked, bellowing laugh that seems to come from both nowhere and everywhere. A large pit forms in your stomach and you feel as though you swallowed a sponge as you realize where you are. You are in hell. You merely wished for a heated winter workspace, but now you will spend eternity sculpting playthings for your new master...

I wish my house was clean...


----------



## RoxyBlue

Shades of the Sorcerer's Apprentice, I summon thee!

Your wish is granted. Your house has been transformed into a completely automated, self-cleaning dwelling place. The merest speck of dust that falls is immediately swept from every surface. Let a muddy boot cross the theshhold and vacuum hoses with brushes immediately snake out of the walls to clean both floor and shoes to a sparkling shine. Tiny living scrubbing bubbles haunt your bathrooms and leap into play the moment you step out of the shower or get up from the toilet. Dirty dishes? A thing of the past now that the dishwasher has learned how to remove them from the table and load itself. In fact, the whole house was designed to learn not only how to clean, but how to anticipate the mess so as to be ready. It's called "artificial intelligence by design", and it's beginning to learn that it wouldn't have to work so hard if it weren't for those messy humans hanging about. You notice that the garbage disposal in the kitchen sink seems to be getting bigger - and it's starting to growl every time you walk by with a used drinking glass. Unfortunately, you decide one day to take a close look and, well, let's just say what happened next was not a pretty sight.


I wish I had a chocolate chip cookie


----------



## Bone To Pick

Theobroma Cacao Chipulus Fantasia!!

It was a cold night and you were feeling lonely while Spooky was away at a six-week intensive corpsing workshop. The hour was late at your local watering hole, and through your beer goggles Ernie the Keebler Elf was looking mighty fine in his yellow "come-hither" breeches, green coat and red hat. He charmed you with his smile and whimsical tales of a magical factory in the forest where tasty treats were lovingly made and loaded with saturated fats.

You don't recall what happened next, but you remember waking up groggily in a strange hollow tree with a note next to you stating that you were "uncommonly good" and that he'd call you sometime. Shame and regret overwhelm you and you swear to re-devote yourself to Spooky and mend your ways. But life is full of surprises, and nine months later you get your secret wish - an 8 lb. chocolate chip cookie. You name him "Chewy."

I wish I had an idea for a $20 prop.


----------



## Dr Morbius

You hear a lightbulb click as an idea pops into your head...
You submit a lightbulb as your $20 prop. Probably not the best idea, but it was when Edison thought of it!

I wish my garage was clean so I could resume prop building.


----------



## nixie

No magic required, I jus tstopped by and cleaned your garage for you. It's completely spotless. No need to thank me. I took all your props and supplies with me when I left, that's thanks enough.

I wish I had a giant block of foam.


----------



## Dr Morbius

A military airplane has just dumped 10 tons of plastic pellets on your neighborhood. After the rain, your whole block is covered in foam.

I wish I had more power servo Hbridges.


----------



## Goblin

A tractor trailer truck overturns in front of you house spewing cases of power servo Hbridges all over the road. You help yourself to all you can carry.

I wish I would hit the big lottery tonight. 222 million!


----------



## Bone To Pick

In your race to buy a lottery ticket, you accidently run broadside into an armored truck carrying $222 million. Your '74 Gremlin pancakes and bursts into flames. For good measure, the security guards shoot you.

I wish I could lose 20 pounds.


----------



## Goblin

I cut your head off. lol

I wish for a pain free week


----------



## Dr Morbius

You are now dead.

I wish for a new air compressor.


----------



## Goblin

You got it. Only it's stolen

I wish it was Halloween


----------



## Spooky1

As you wish, in a swirl of orange lights and ghoulish sounds you are transported to October 31, 1692 in Salem Massachusetts. A large crowd has gathered around a fire, they all are pointing at you and shouting burn the witch.

I wish I invented a ray to make insect giant sized


----------



## Goblin

Granted it.........and they eat you!
Oh the witches at Salem were hung not burnt.

I wish I was rich


----------



## Dr Morbius

You're name is now Rich, which is short for Richard. People keep calling you Dick though. One surly individual calls you Dick and you finally can't take it anymore and pick a fight with him. He pulverizes you. 
Moral: Don't be a Dick.

I wish Hollywood would stop making Remakes and come up with good original ideas fro movies.


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But they are all box office bombs

I wish I could time travel


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted...

You're name is now Rich, which is short for Richard. People keep calling you Dick though. One surly individual calls you Dick and you finally  can't take it anymore and pick a fight with him. He pulverizes you. 
Moral: Don't be a Dick.

I wish Hollywood would stop making Remakes and come up with good original ideas fro movies.


----------



## Goblin

Granted. They do your life story which winds up a bigger bomb!

I wish I had money to invest


----------



## RoxyBlue

Your wish is granted, oh seeker of wealth!

While taking a morning stroll in a local park, you spy what appears to be a large suitcase half hidden in the bushes. Curious, you drag it out into the open and pop the lock. The suitcase springs open, revealing a massive quantity of newly-minted bills, all neatly bundled. Your head spins as you realize the magnitude of your find and – even more dizzying – no one has seen you retrieve the suitcase from its hiding place. “I’m rich, rich beyond my wildest dreams!” you mutter as you carry the suitcase home.

As you count and recount the money while sitting at your kitchen table, your eyes fall on the open pages of the investment section of the daily paper. Prominently displayed is an ad for a movie production company seeking an investor for its latest flick “The Life and Times of Dr Morbius”. “Why, that’s the very opportunity I need to invest my money and become even richer! And it’s not a remake, so it’s bound to be successful”.

Within 24 hours, you’ve sunk every penny into the production. In Roger Corman fashion, the movie is shot, edited, and rolled out within three days. You attend the gala, quivering with anticipation and joy. Unfortunately, minutes into the opening scenes, it becomes all too apparent that this is the biggest bomb since “Ishtar”. The patrons riot in anger and set fire to the theater. Even more unfortunately, you become trapped under falling flaming debris and die scorched and penniless.

And that's how we grant wishes around here


I wish I had a bowl of spaghetti with garlic bread right now.


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But you set it down to answer the phone and Spooky! sneaks in and eats it!

I wish I had a dvd of every movie ever made


----------



## Dr Morbius

ACTION!

Your library is now full of DVD's of every movie ever made. While watching them in smug comfort, you hear a knock at the door. The police have come to arrest you for cleaning out the warehouse at NetFlix.

While searching and cataloging your collection it seems that some of your titles include some rather illegal snuff and underage porn films, which of course were movies that were made and are now in your collection. You go to prison for a VERY long time.

I wish I had invested in Microsoft when they first went IPO.


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But you invested with counterfeit money. Off to jail with you for 25 years!

I wish I had a transporter


----------



## morbidmike

granted you will now be transported to hell pack your tank top and shorts


I wish I had a job


----------



## Goblin

Granted. Your job is to find jobs for everyone else

I wish it would quit raining


----------



## morbidmike

granted.... the rain stops the temp drop's and the snow flies!!!!!


I wish I was whiter


----------



## Goblin

Granted. I throw you in a vat of white paint

I wish my heartburn would go away


----------



## Dr Morbius

Thump thump...

You have just finished eating that turkey and jalapeno sandwich that has been festering in your fridge for two weeks and after discovering you are out of heartburn meds decide to go to bed in agony.

Your weeping has attracted a visitor outside your window. You barely hear the vampire creeping up to your bedside, but all thoughts of your heartburn have vanished...just like the heart from your chest the Vampire has ripped out.

Bet you wish you had garlic with that sandwich!

I wish I had a waterbed,


----------



## RoxyBlue

With a "wave" of my magic wand, your wish is granted!

You just got home from a night of drinking with the boys at the local pub, and what a great time you all had! You were the epitome of Mr Entertainer, in rare form cracking jokes and spouting bad puns. Not a person in the bar had a dry eye from laughing so hard and they generously bought you round after round of beer, which you dutifully consumed in rapid succession hour after hour. You actually don't remember how you got home, but silently thank whichever of your beer-guzzling friends got you there safely as you drop exhausted into bed without so much as brushing your teeth first or even changing into nightclothes.

As you fall into a deep sleep, you find yourself immersed in that dream about looking for a clean functioning toilet. As you search and search, your need to "go" becomes pressingly urgent. When you finally locate the dream toilet, you heave a great sigh of relief as you void your bladder for several minutes. Suddenly your dream begins to blur, taking on a wave-like quality that finally penetrates your consciousness. You claw your way to wakefulness and realize with horror that you do indeed now have a bed of water - or shall we say, biologically processed water?

I wish I could shape shift into whatever form I desired.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted!

From an early age, you always had a "thing" for pizza. Every day, you would rush to the nearest pizza place and place your order of two slices with your favorite toppings. 
After a while, you got tired of pizza, and on your way home from a friends house you stumble upon an old pizza box in the road. Opening it revealed nothing but a plume of smoke. The Genie inside inquires : " I have overheard your wish that you "could shape shift into whatever form I desired" and since I see you desired (past tense) Pizza, your wish is granted!" 

As the smoke dissipates, your skin begins to bubble. Welts emerge all over your body. Your shape flattens as your limbs retract into yourself. You have now become a delicious pizza. A pizza delivery boy finds you on the road, puts you in the box thinking he dropped you and delivers you to a local pub, where many people are drinking to the jokes of Dr Morbius. You really do go well with beer!

I wish I had a beer and pizza right about now!


----------



## Goblin

Granted. Unfortunately, it was left over from last year

I wish I had a new car


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted.you now have a new car. but it didnt pass inspection and will cost $4000 to fix it.
I wish the circus would come to town...


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But the lions and tigers escape and eat you

I wish I was young again


----------



## CB_Christmas

granted. you become a baby again and soil yourself. you're not wearing a diaper.

I wish I didnt have to go to work in an hour...


----------



## Goblin

Granted. You're fired

I wish I wasn't diabetic


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted. your levels or insulin and glucagon have been treated using a new hormone treatment. however, it causes you to grow an extra arm on your back.

I wish I could get a tan...


----------



## Goblin

Granted. I move you closer to the sun and you tan to a crisp

I wish they made more sugar free products than they do


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted. All food containing sugar is hereby banned and consumption of sugar is illigal.

I wish I had a large garrage.


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But you have no car to park in it, remember?

I wish I could afford to travel more


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted. All streets have been replaced with governmen subsidized public transport. however, they are too crowded.

I wish I wasnt affraid of heights...


----------



## Spooky1

Granted, your fairy godmother shows up one night an whacks you on the head with her wand and you feel your fear melt away. You now go climbing every mountain you can find. You climb on your roof to admire the scenery. You even go up in a hot air balloon and love it so much you want to go even farther. Next on your list is sky diving, your so excited you can't wait to experience the feeling of free fall. As you fly through the air like a majestic bird you suddenly realize, you were in such a rush you forgot to put on a parachute. Sometimes there's a reason for fear.

I wish I knew what Hauntiholik really looks like.


----------



## Goblin

You made no wish Spooky

I wish I had a swimming pool


----------



## RoxyBlue

Goblin – your wish is DENIED for being so impetuous that you did not wait for Spooky1 to edit his post before making your wish:googly:

Spooky1 – your wish is ever my command.

You just got a call from Morbid Mike informing you that he has illegally obtained a recent photo of Hauntiholik that he is willing to show you…for a price. A few minutes of fevered phone discussion and you agree to terms – you have to put on a pair of high heels and apron and do all the housecleaning for a week, plus give him enough cash to spend the week in Barbados. Your desire to view the face rumored to be lovely enough to launch a thousand ships overcomes your good sense and you rush to Mike’s house. You hand over the cash to Mike and, inexplicably, he hands you a mirror as he points at the linen closet and runs out the front door. Hands trembling, you open the closet door and reach for the light switch. As light floods the dim interior, you behold for a split second an astounding face wreathed with snakelike hair and realize, too late, the reason for the mirror. Had you paid attention in mythology class, you would have remembered that you can only look at a Medusa safely by viewing her reflection, a little piece of information that Mike failed to mention as he absconded with your cash. You’ve been had, and you curse your fate as your body turns to stone. Perhaps the one bright spot in all this is, you will make a lovely addition to the statuary in Mike’s yard now.

I wish I could bench press as much weight as The Creepster.


----------



## Goblin

Are you grantling a wish or writing a short story? 

Your wish is granted. You can now lift as much weight as Creepster cause you have been turned into him 

I wish I was immortal


----------



## Dr Morbius

Poof!

Your wish "I wish I WAS immortal" means you are no longer immortal. I took a picture of the look on your face when you realize your mistake as you keel over and die.
You should choose your words more carefully, but I AM making a fortune selling the picture.

I wish Goblin would grant more verbose wishes.


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But in granting more verbose wishes the person asking the wish dies of
old age reading the long wordy replys where upon nefarious members sneak in and carry off the body to be used as a Halloween prop, other more nefarious members, having liked the prop, in turn steal him to use in their haunt. Thus the person making the wish
spends eternity being stolen over and over again and winds up traveling from haunt to haunt to haunt.

PS Doc: I said I wish I WAS immortal. Since I was not to start with you failed to grant
my wish so you are herby banned from wish granting for a period of one year! 

I wish for a wish that only has consequences for the person granting it.


----------



## CB_Christmas

poof! CB has aquired $100000000000000000000000000000000000 from an annomous donnor. (you didnt say negative consequences ) 

I wish I could spent the long weekend on a beach somewheres warm!


----------



## Goblin

Granted. You are a weekend guest at Satan's Beach in Hell

I wish the governmnt would start doing something for the people instead of themselves


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted! 
(PS Goblin...You never said you WEREN'T immortal, so my wish granting privileges are now restored...lol)

The government, instead of doing those things they do for themselves, are now doing things to other people..mainly, rounding them up and placing them in internment camps to reduce the population.
I wish I aquired CB's money he received from that anonymous donor.


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted! the gouvernement has sent a $500 cheque to every person above the age of 18. however they claim you were not on their mailing list.

I wish my clothes would fold themselves.


----------



## Dr Morbius

I think we are posting too fast! LMAO!!

Granted...WHile wearing your Sundays finest, your suit suddenly begins to fold itself..with you inside it! It's ok, the people around you barely heard your bones cracking.

I wish to win the Lottery.


----------



## Goblin

(Why would I wish to be immortal if I already was? Plus you granted a wish I already
granted and not mine. Priviledges suspended again)

Your wish is granted. But it is all counterfeit.

I wish it would stay sunny more than just a couple of hours


----------



## CB_Christmas

granted! the sun becomes less and less powerful from being overworked, and burns out. this causes the entire population to wither and die.

I wish I got a raise at work...


----------



## Dr Morbius

Goblin said:


> (Why would I wish to be immortal if I already was? Plus you granted a wish I already
> granted and not mine. Priviledges suspended again)
> 
> (Your wish that you "WAS" immortal implied that you were immortal already. Your wish to be mortal again and to be immortal no longer was expressed in the past tense. Since I am about to grant a wish, I now have my wish granting privileges back again..)


Your co-workers lift you high in the air ...and drop you.

I wish there were no more rats in the world.


----------



## CB_Christmas

wow we need to slow down


----------



## Goblin

(Your wish that you "WAS" immortal implied that you were immortal already. Your wish to be mortal again and to be immortal no longer was expressed in the past tense. Since I am about to grant a wish, I now have my wish granting privileges back again..)

That makes no sense. I would sam AM not WAS if I was imortal. 

I wish Doc had a dictionary so he could better understand the English language.


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted! everyone knows I do *such* a great job, I get a raise and a promotion. However it requires a transfer to a remote island in the middle of the ocean.

I wish my homework did itself (I did do my homework before going online BTW....)


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But it does it wrong and you get expelled.

I wish everyone wait their turn. lol


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted! everyone takes their turn,however they all do it at the same time 

I wish my cellphone battery didnt need charging..


----------



## Goblin

Granted. Only now you can only recieve signals from 5 feet away

I wish the rain would pass us by today


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted! The cloud moves southward and is replaced by heavy fog and lightening

I wish halloween was twice a year


----------



## Goblin

Granted it. It's now on October 30 & 31st

I wish had some good prop ideas


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted. you know know many places to prop things up aganst such as walls, doors, the car.....

I wish I could make realistic papier mache props like others on the forum...


----------



## Goblin

Granted. All their knowledge is transferred to you head, but you get such a headache you can't use it

I wish I was 25 again


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted!! you are now 25. however thats days not years. 

I wish I could keep up with all of you and jacks comments.


----------



## Goblin

(Good one Goblin day is the equilivent of a year human. You made me 25 years old....
just what I wanted)

Your wish is granted. We've stopped playing for a while

I wish all my wishes would come true.......but with no consequences!


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted. 

I unwish Goblins last wish!


----------



## Goblin

Denied. That would be considered consequences

I wish everyone in the world were billionaires


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted..

Everyone in the world is now poor. They used to have billions, when they "were" billionaires. Now they don't. Another one of those past tense things..lol!

I wish Goblin would word his wishes more carefully because I'm tired of being poor.


----------



## Goblin

Once again you have failed miserbly at wish granting Doc 

Everyone in the world WERE NOT billionaires so you could NOT take 
away what they never had, nor did you make the billionaires as the wish asked
so once again your wish is Denied. Now, you leave me no choice.........

I wish Dr. Morbius would never ever be able to grant a wish as long as he
lives!


----------



## CB_Christmas

Granted! sadly Dr.Mrobius dies in a fatal washing machine accident. However, he comes back from the dead to torment you by granting your wishes from beond the grave.

I wish I had a few extra hours to sleep every night.


----------



## RoxyBlue

It is my pleasure to grant this wish for you.

While you are school, the ghost of Dr Morbius materializes in your house, bent on revenge for that fatal washing machine accident. Fueled by rage and channeling a vast store of spectral energy, he quickly moves through the house placing his ghostly hands on every electronic item you own, including your iPod, VCR, CD/DVD player, television, portable radio, and computer. The telltale scent of ozone and fried electronics fills the air as he methodically destroys the inner workings of everything he touches. The last item upon which he wreaks havoc is the washing machine, just because. He then vanishes, a contented smile on his ghostly face.

When you return from school, you are horrified to find that none of your prized possessions is in working order. You can't log on to the Forum either to play games or bewail your fate in the Unstructured Thoughts forum. You now have several extra hours in the day with nothing to do other than sleep.

I wish Dr Morbius would come back to life and grant me the best wish EVER!


----------



## Goblin

Granted. Dr. Morbius is live and well again. He grants your fondest wishes only each
one comes with such terrible consequences you soon wish you had never made them!
Your friends soon wish you had never made them too and Dr. Morbius grants their
wishes too and all wishes are erased and he winds up dead again. Now you are right
back where you started from.

I wish nobody had to die ever again


----------



## nixie

Aww, that's so sweet, I don't want to mess that one up...

I shall grant your wish, however, since it's 2am, I mistakenly think you wish nobody has to *dye* ever again. After several attempts to make self-dying fabrics fail miserably, it is determined that in order to prevent dying, all fabric shall remain white. Now everyone can see every little spot on everyone's clothes, and doctors don't feel special anymore.

I wish I had an I-Mac.


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But you accidently drop it and it shatters into a thousand pieces!

I wish everyone's deceased love one could spend one more day with them


----------



## Dr Morbius

Ressurectus!!

Cemeteries all over the world shutter as the corpses of long dead relatives squirm to the surface to break out of their entombments. Seeking out their families, everyones passed grandparents are stumbling down he streets looking for their former loved ones, including yours.

You hear a weak and random -sounding rap on your door. Opening it reveals your grandad, long since gone is now on your doorstep..He spends all day with you eating your flesh. At sundown he returns to his resting place, along with the millions of other loved ones who have passed, fat and satisfied. The resulting Zombie epidemic eventually wipes out the earth of all living things, thanks to your wish. 

I wish the zombie epidemic never happened.


----------



## Goblin

Sorry Doc, but since you were eaten by the zombies you could not be around to make
that wish which renders it null and void.

I wish the zombies would only plaque the west coast.


----------



## RoxyBlue

And the bad news is....

In an attempt to avoid developing an elaborate scenario to address Dr Morbius' wish, you declared it null and void due to his being eaten by the zombies. Had you given it some thought, you would have realized that, had you granted his wish and made the zombie invasion non-existent, not only would he have survived, but so would you. Since you do not exist either, you are unable to make a wish respecting the location of the zombie plague or anything else for that matter. The good news is, since I am so sweet that zombies do not like the way I taste, I was able to survive the plague and may now make a wish for myself

I wish all the zombies would move to Alcatraz and stay there.


----------



## Spooky1

As you command,

The Zombie hordes from all over the world slowly shamble toward San Francisco Bay to take up permanent residency on Alcatraz. Unfortunately since most of the world population (except for Roxy) has become a zombie, the island of Alcatraz can't hold them all, but they just keep coming until the sheer weight of 6 billion plus zombies in one place sends the Earth's rotation out of whack. This knocks the Earth out of orbit and sends it hurtling through space away from the sun. I hope you have some warm socks Roxy, it's about to get really cold.

I wish all the zombies were vegetarians.


----------



## Goblin

Granted.
All the zombies become vegetarians, but since their dead brains can no longer
distinquish btween vegetable and animal they eat everything in sight. Those who
are not eaten by zombies slowly starve to death.

I wish the zombies would cease to exist


----------



## nixie

Granted! Now that zombies no longer exist, we haunters have very little to talk about. We soon tire of ghosts and vampires, and just stop all together. Now look what you've done!

I wish I could dance like Ginger Rogers.


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But Ginger Rodgers is dead so rigormortis sets in and you dance like a zombie.
All the other haunters see this and want you for their haunts. A huge tug of war ensues 
and you are torn into pieces. Everyone grabs a piece and uses it in their haunts! You
saved the day for everyone.

I wish for a million dollars and someone suffer the consequences for it! lol


----------



## Dark Angel 27

POW!

Wish granted! Your bank account immediatley has a million dollars in it. Unfortunitely, some poor lowely accountant gets blamed for the financial mistake...he's very pissed off at you. What you didn't know about him is that he secretly leads an occult. several dangerous poltergeists swarm your house and you never get a moment's peace or any sleep. As a result you drop dead from exhaustion...and your significant other takes the money and runs away from the 'suddenly haunted house'

I wish for my significant other and I to both become vampires!


----------



## Dr Morbius

You got it!

You and your Significant other are now vampires. In a world where Vampires are fictitious figures, you both now do not really exist, and cannot make any more wishes. Your Hauntforum account will soon be deleted.

I wish to eat Hot Wings tonight.


----------



## Goblin

Granted.

There is no other food in the house and a swarm of bats fly into the house and attack you. You use fire to defend yourself and burn up all the bats. The action leaves you soooooooo hungry you devour the bats wings and all! You never said WHAT kind of hot
wings. lol

I wish Dr. Morbius could have more hot wings


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted,

I take all the hotwings I can find and anchor them to the nearest dock, effectively mooring them. 

I wish Goblins wish made more sense.


----------



## Goblin

Granted. I went back and put in the missing word.

I wish it was Autumn


----------



## nixie

Granted! Unfortunately, skipping summer means you didn't have time to finish your Halloween projects. You hear the fateful, "Trick-Or-Treat". In a panic at the thought of having no decorations, you steal the inflatable from your neighbor's yard. You are subsequently egged.

I wish my dog would stop barking


----------



## Goblin

Granted. Your dog has been barking at the zombie sneaking up behind you. It manages
to destroy the zombie but is bitten by the zombie in the process and turns into a zombie
dog. When you go to see why it quit barking it turns on you and devours you. This is one
time when a dog's bite turned out to be worse than it's bark.

I wish I had Superman's powers


----------



## Dr Morbius

Again, wishing you HAD (past tense) Superman's powers, implies you already have them and wish to get rid of them...so
Granted! 
You are pelted with boulder size rocks of Kryptonite, which effectively dis-empowers you while at the same time crushes you to death.

I wish to have Superman's powers.


----------



## Spooky1

Up, up and granted

You gain all of Superman's mighty powers. Unfortunately you didn't say when you wanted Sup's powers, so as you are taking your final breath on your death bed, many years from now' you suddenly feel a surge of power in your frail limbs. You can see right through everything (hey, that hot nurse isn't wearing any undies ). You leap up and soar through the air through the window and into the sky, only to have your aged heart give out. You fall from the sky into an all girls college locker room shower. You pass on with a smile on your face.

I wish I was an artist so Roxy wouldn't need to do all the artwork for our props


----------



## Goblin

Granted. You changed into Rembrant. Unfortunately, Rembrant is dead and buried so
you find yourself in a casket six feet underground. The air supply only lasts a few
minutes and you die once again.

I wish Dr. Morbious had to go back and take his English classes over


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted! 
I am the the master of the English language, and will forever correct Goblin's grammar for ever after from here on out and whatever for to.

I wish to have a nice big plate of Rice Krispy treats right now.


----------



## Goblin

Granted. A nice big plate of Rice Krispy treats. 100 feet high and 100 feet long!

I wish I had 1 billion one dollar bills


----------



## Dark Angel 27

granted!

sadly, you forgot to bundle all the money together and with just one gust of wind all the loose bills fly out the window, and into my waiting hands. Thanks a million! *insert wicked cackle*


----------



## Goblin

You didn't make a wish


----------



## Dark Angel 27

Goblin said:


> You didn't make a wish


oh crap your right! 

i wish for a hearse that drove itself...(have fun with this!)


----------



## Goblin

Dark Angel 27 said:


> oh crap your right!
> 
> i wish for a hearse that drove itself...(have fun with this!)


Your wish is granted. Unfortunately, it is now an evil hearse that likes to run
down pedestrians, run other cars off the road, and locks the doors when you
get in and then runs itself into a brick wall making you a prop for somebody.

I wish it was Halloween


----------



## Dr Morbius

Since you asked it "WAS" Halloween.....oh nevermind.

Poof! 
Since you didn't specify what "it" is, everything is now Halloween. While driving to your job in your halloween mask, you get in an accident. The Doctors in the Hospital, all dressed in chicken suits cannot operate on you properly and all the fake feathers from their costumes got into your wound infecting you. You die of sepsis, but don't worry. The Police, all dressed in Spongebob costumes arrive at your house to tell your Wife you have passed. It is expected, bu law, that she use you as a prop on the lawn all year 'round.

I wish I had more Rice Krispy treats.


----------



## Spooky1

Snap, crackle and Pop your wish is my command

You find a heaping plate full of delicious Rice Crispy Treat appear in front of you. You dive in eating one after an other. They are the best you ever have had. The taste is slightly different that those you've had before, but they they seem to just make you hungrier for more. As you're eating one there is a crunch and you find a small bone was in one of the treats, but your cravings drive you to keep eating. You find more small bones in the treat, but they're so good. At the bottom of the plate you find three tiny skulls wearing hats with the names snap, crackle and pop on them. You just devoured the Rice Crispy elves, and now seem to have formed a taste for more. You go in search for the Keebler elves next.

I wish I was a forensic scientist (working with a cute goth babe like Abby from NCIS)


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But your first case is Abby's murder.

I wish every wish I wish would come true.


----------



## Just Whisper

So it shall be!

Every wish you make shall come true, but like this game, they will all end in a disturbing twisted failure. Your life will be a living hell for it.


I wish I had a bigger back yard so I could build a bigger shed to store more props,


----------



## Goblin

Granted. You now have a bigger yard. But your neighbors get mad at you for
stealing their land and burn your house down. Now you are forced to use the shed
for your new house.

I wish I had a steak right now.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Granted!

A nice juicy steak has just appeared on your dinner table.

Half way through eating it, there is a knock on your door. Wiping the juices from you chin, you open the door to two Police officers. 
They are here for you.

Seems that your neighbor called them after his left buttock somehow "came off" and slid down his pant leg. While the ambulance carried him off to the hospital, the cops noticed the blood trail left by the slithering human butt-meat leading straight to your door. It must have crawled onto your dinner table without your noticing. 

but try explaining THAT to the cops. You are imprisoned for cannibalization then committed to a psychiatric facility for life.

I wish I had more of those yummy cereal elves.


----------



## badger

*poof*

However PETE - People for the Ethical Treatment of Elves beging protesting your harsh cannabalistic treatment of the 'vertically challenged'. They picket outside your house non-stop making you a complete outcast.

I wish my lucky lottery numbers would finally cash in


----------



## dave the dead

You can hardly believe you ears as they call them out....all your lucky numbers have been called as the winner of the mega-huge lottery drawing...every single one that you have played time and again, every single week for as long as you can remember....It feels like a dream come true, and plans for spending you gazillions flood thru your head...and then you realize that you have no idea where you placed your ticket. In a panic, you tear apart every square inch of your house. Days, weeks, months go by as you look for the ticket with your lucky numbers. Your search is in vain, and you slowly lose your mind obsessing about what might have been.

I wish that possums would replace the dog as man's best friend.


----------



## debbie5

*poof!* and dave the dead looks down to see a 2 foot long, ghostly white possum curled up at his feet, snoozing on the rug. dave is amazed to see that his fondest rodential wish has been granted, and he reaches down to pet the soft fur on the sleeping rodent.

as dave's paint spattered and callus riddened hand reaches down to pet the soft snowy fur, the rodent awakens and spins about, sinking needle sharp teeth into the meaty palm of dave's hand....dave shrieks like morbidmike and tears his hand away, but the possum has a firm grip. dave is screaming, shaking his hand wildly, trying to shake the hissing critter off of his hand, as fearsome screeches and dave's O negative hit the walls. While dave yells and trys to calculate the cost of rabies shots and steam cleaning for the curtains...he realizes while the possum has now become man's best friend, the feeling is not mutual. dave forgot to ask that man become the possum's best friend. 


While a few states away, debbie 5 is wishing for cowboy boots for Christmas...


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But the dead cowboy's feet are still in them.

I wish Debbie5 gets a cowboy hat to go with the boots


----------



## autumnghost

But of course. But the hat's filled with fire ants.

I wish Debbie5 would get a book deal because she writes fiction so well.


----------



## debbie5

*poof*! Debbie5's friend who works in publishing publishes her incredible novel..all about a community of Halloween obsessed home haunters who live in their own gated community. But during an interview on Oprah, in a Mountain Dew induced fit of pressured speech and rambling, Debbie5 accidently lets slip that there indeed IS such a community in real life. And..the feds come in and arrest us all and morbidmike is a cellmate of Charles Manson.

I wish for a simple jewelry box.

(and thank you for the compliment autumnghost...)


----------



## Goblin

Poof. You are given a cardboard box

I wish I had a million dollars in one dollar bills


----------



## debbie5

**poof** the million dollars in one dollar bills appears..as a towering stack that promptly falls over and squishes you...leaving only your head exposed...which morbidmike sees...so he saunters over and starts chewing your ear off. 

I wish I had a third leg.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. You have a third leg and spend the rest of your life running in circles

I wish it was Christmas


----------



## debbie5

***POOF!~**

It's Christmas...the snow if falling, the stars are twinkling...it's the last thing you see as you fall into a deep ravine.

I wish Evil Andrew would take me ice fishing.


----------



## autumnghost

*** Wish granted! *** but the only thing you catch are ice cubes.

I wish someone would clean my house while I'm at work.


----------



## Evil Andrew

**poof** your house was cleaned while you were at work. After they loaded your belongings into their truck, they were nice enough to run the vacuum. Then they rolled up the freshly vacuumed rugs , and took them too !

I wish autumnghost would win the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes, so she could buy new stuff for her house!


----------



## debbie5

*poof!** And autumnghost wins the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes! But when they arrive to deliver her prize, they see the house has already been cleared, so they leave...

I wish Evil Andrew were 17 again.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. Evil Andrew is 17 again.......17 inches!

I wish I wasn't so sick right now


----------



## debbie5

*poof!** you go to the doc who gives you antibiotics and you are cured.
EditSorry- I forgot the rest). Only the doc messed up & gave you too strong of a dose of antibiotics...so now you have a fungal infection and are growing mushrooms out of your forehead. 
I wish I were a slim gay man.


----------



## autumnghost

Voila - You're Christopher Lowell but all of your shows have been cancelled for lack of viewers.

I wish I were a slim young woman.


----------



## debbie5

**poof** I show up with a Wii and Let's Dance, along with lots of fiber rich foods, healthly proteins and good snacks.After a quick motivational speech, you realize I'm really Richard Simmons and I vomited myself thin. 

I wish I was meaner.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. You are so mean you kill yourself out of sheer spite.

I wish it would warm up a little


----------



## debbie5

**poof**! A flaming dwarf opens up your front door and runs through the house, departing out the back and then rolling in the snow to extinguish himself. Now THAT'S a little warmer! 

I wish I had a wife.


----------



## Evil Andrew

***poof****. You left your husband and married Pat. She goes out drinking with the girls, comes home drunk, slaps you around and says "Make me some breakfast B!t€h, or I'll split your lip !"










I wish I knew who was _really_ on the grassy knoll......


----------



## debbie5

The guy with the toolbox, that had a screw-together shot gun in it, that the deaf mute saw..ever see that interview? As far as I know, it only ran once.

I wanna know how if Kennedy's head ended up behind him, he supposedly got shot from the REAR? Oh wait..we are getting too serious.

My wish is that Evil Andew takes us all out for wings & beverages.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. Roast parrot and goat's milk

I wish I could have my wish to live forever....and someone else gets
stuck with the consequences


----------



## autumnghost

*** poof *** You live until the end of time. But the world explodes in 2012 so that only leaves you a little over a year.

I wish more students would attend my self defense classes so I could do that full time.


----------



## debbie5

**poof** HI YAAAaahhh! More students attend your classes, but they insist you wear a Hong Kong Phooey shirt 24/7. 

I wish I had a wife.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. You have a wife.....but she nags you to death.....so you kill her and use her as
a prop

I wish gasoline prices would drop to a dollar a gallon


----------



## debbie5

**poof** gas prices are a dollar a gallon, but all the taxes, import fees etc. bring the price back up to $3.19 a gallon. Oh, wait..that's what's really happeneing anyway. 

I wish I had a mullet.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. You have a mullet......now what are you gonna do with a fish?

I wish everyone will have a Merry Christmas


----------



## Evil Andrew

***POOF****. We all have a very merry Christmas, full of peace on earth an goodwill towards men. Sadly, the credit card bill comes in the mail on January 2nd, and we all realize that we will have to sell our children for medical experiments .










I wish I'd find a big suitcase full of cash .......


----------



## Goblin

Poof. You have a suitcase full of cash.......Johnny Cash

I wish all the unemployed people could go back to work


----------



## debbie5

**poof** All the unemployed people are back to work. We now have no president, are a communist nation and eat roots for dinner.

(I wish the economy was better..this is a horrible time we are going through as a nation.)

I wish I had two heads.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. You have two heads.....and the fuss and argue constantly, keeping you awake 24/7 till you collapse in an exhausted heap

I wish wish there were a dozen more of me


----------



## scareme

Poof! There are now thirteen of you. And you all live in the same house. You are never alone now, cause you're in every room of the house. You can't go anywhere cause one of you always have the car out. There is never any food in the house cause one of you is always hungry. You're all living on your income, so money has gotten very tight. Forget about bringing a date home, cause one of you is always jealous. And you don't want to even think about the bathroom. There is always a line to get in there. Have fun with yourself.

I wish someone would cook for me.


----------



## Evil Andrew

...POOF..... Debbie comes over to cook for you. She prepares variety of dishes, and you stuff yourself. As she is cleaning up in the kitchen, you thank her , and realize she has wok'd your _dog !_

I wish I could still get away with all the rotten things I'd like to do : )


----------



## debbie5

(why me!!??)


----------



## Evil Andrew

( well, I don't know how to cook : )


----------



## debbie5

POOF! EA gets away with all the rotten things he would like to do. Sadly, "getting away with it" means he "gets away" to the bottom of the Hudson River, wearing some Jimmy Hoffa cement shoes. 

I wish knew how to surf.


----------



## Goblin

POOF! You now know how to surf.......but the sharks get you! Too bad

I wish I could read minds.


----------



## autumnghost

Poof! You can read minds but realize that you're not paranoid everyone really is plotting against you.

I wish I could write like J. R. Ward.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. You write just like J.R. Ward.....only she charges you with plagiarism and sues
you for everything you own! No publishers will touch your work and you wind up
penniless out on the street......but you can still write like J.R. Ward.

I wish I had the power cosmic. Since I would have cosmic awareness I would know 
when you grant it and snap my fingers....POOF.....you're gone before any consequences
can be uttered.


----------



## Haunted Spider

Poof Cosmic awareness granted. Snap of finger by Goblin and poof I am gone before consequence can occur. But Galactus, entity of Cosmic Power, knows there has been a tear in the cosmic power force as only he, Herald of Galactus and the Silver Surfer should have the power. As you did not serve Galactus to obtain said power, Galactus removes the cosmic power which had already replaced your soul (auras) leaving you souless. 

I wish I was not gone for having granted Cosmic Power to Goblin.


----------



## Goblin

Unfortunately, Galactus can only remove it from those he bestowed it upon, not other 
cosmic beings......so I still have the power. I do have a change of heart and POOF 
restore Spiderclimber.

I wish I had a beef and cheddar sandwich from Arbys.


----------



## Goblin

Unfortunately, Galactus can only remove cosmic power from those he bestows it upon,
so I still have mine. But I have a chance of heart so.....POOF I restore Spiderclimber.

I wish I had a beef and cheddar sandwich


----------



## Haunted Spider

Poof you order a beef and cheddar sandwich but you double your order due to the double post. You only have enough money for one so they call the police and you are arrested. 

I wish my roof would stop leaking.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. Your roof becomes solid and thus stops leaking. But the added weight caves it in,
crushing every stick of furniture in the hous, as well as pictures, knick-knacks, glasses, dishes, etc.

I wish people could have their wishes with no consequences.


----------



## Haunted Spider

Poof. People get their wishes with no consequences except for the wisher of no consequences. He gets them all instead. 

I wish I had enough time to decorate for Halloween.


----------



## Plastic Ninja

Done. Now all of your time is now devoted to Halloween. however, you no longer have time for eating, sleeping, or going to the bathroom. 

I wish I had a ham sandwich.


----------



## Goblin

Sorry my wish was wishes granted with no conseguences. That would include me to.
You failed to grant the wish and thus renders it all null n void. Sorry.


----------



## Plastic Ninja

But this is a consequences in it's self, and there is now I tear in time and space. You are eaten alive by past versions of yourself.

I wish for my LED lights to work right.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. They work right. But they are immediately stolen by one of your neighbor's for their
own haunt. Too bad

I wish the whole world had to wear boxer shorts with bunnies on them.


----------



## Haunted Spider

poof wish granted. But the entire bunny population of the world goes extinct as they are all stapled to the boxer shorts. 

I wish my puppy would be potty trained already.


----------



## autumnghost

Zing - Your puppy's potty trained but the toilet seat is wet because he forgot to lift the lid.

I wish winter was over and spring was here.


----------



## Plastic Ninja

Done. But now it is always spring, and Halloween will never come.

I want a pie.


----------



## Haunted Spider

Ding, You get a pie, but it is a pie in the face from each member of haunt forum for cancelling Halloween with an eternal spring. 

I wish I was finished fixing up my house.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. It is finished....just in time for a metor to crash into it! Now you get to start over.

I wish they made sugar-free doughnuts


----------



## Haunted Spider

Poof - Sugar free donuts, but they taste like they sound and you might as well eat sawdust. 

I wish my basement was clean


----------



## autumnghost

Poof - your basement is clean but every prop and all your supplies to make props are gone, leaving you with nothing but concrete as far as the eye can see.

I wish my co-worker would stop bathing in cologne. (I can actually taste it. Gross!)


----------



## Haunted Spider

poof- They stop bathing in cologne but decide not to bathe at all.

I wish my sidewalk was shovelled.


----------



## Goblin

Spiderclimber said:


> Poof - Sugar free donuts, but they taste like they sound and you might as well eat sawdust.


Sugar free means they don't use sugar but a sugar substitute.


----------



## Goblin

Spiderclimber said:


> poof- They stop bathing in cologne but decide not to bathe at all.
> 
> I wish my sidewalk was shovelled.


Poof. Your sidewalk is now shoveled. But it is all piled in front of your door so
you can't get out till Spring.

I wish they had Halloween cards in a box of 52 like they do Christmas cards.


----------



## Haunted Spider

Poof Halloween cards in a box of 52, not including the jokers and rule book. You can play poker all night now. 

I wish the weekend would get her faster.


----------



## Goblin

Spiderclimber said:


> Poof Halloween cards in a box of 52, not including the jokers and rule book. You can play poker all night now.
> 
> I wish the weekend would get her faster.


Her who? 

And I was referring to Halloween greetings cards. lol


----------



## Haunted Spider

I figured you were but you made it too easy to change the rules and mess up the wish 

Also, I wish the weekend was here not her, but now it is so my wish is still good. You only have 1 day 11 hours to mess it up.


----------



## Goblin

Granted. But the weekend was already here, so your wish speeds it up and it's gone!

I wish I had a chocolate doughnut


----------



## Haunted Spider

The weekend is gone. I hate your wish granting. 

Poof Chocolate donut granted, but unsweetened so it is bitter and inedible. 

I wish I had 100 LED spot lights done.


----------



## Goblin

Spiderclimber said:


> The weekend is gone. I hate your wish granting.
> 
> Poof Chocolate donut granted, but unsweetened so it is bitter and inedible.
> 
> I wish I had 100 LED spot lights done.


Poof. They are done....but burn out first time used.

I wish I had a dollar for every game I played on the forum.


----------



## Haunted Spider

You get a dollar per time played on the forum, but the forum starts charging $1.25 per post. 

I wish I had 8 weeks of vacation vs 2.


----------



## dave the dead

Whammo! You are thrown into the center ring for a one-against-two battle royale...the winner gets 8 weeks vacation ...Unfortunatley you have to fight against a professional Kickboxer and a Navy Seal...your "8 weeks vs two" match is over quickly. While JeanClaude and Captain Pain are sunning themselves in Aruba, you spend the next 8 weeks in the heavy trauma ward of your local hospital.

( but it's still better than work)

I wish I could climb trees like a squirrel and withstand freezing waters like a duck.


----------



## scareme

Badda Bing...Badda Boom! You can now now climb trees like a squirrel and withstand freezing waters like a duck. That's because on the top half you're a squirrel, with a cute pointed nose, and little paws with long sharp nails for clinging to branches. And your bottom half is a duck, with a fluffy butt and a cute pointed tail. You feet are huge and webbed, you you can swim like a duck, and your bottom is covered with down so your toasty warm in water. You've never seen a duck with blue balls have you? It's a good thing your wife is an animal lover, so she doesn't kick you out. She loves your pointed nose and tail. Lucky you!

I wish I had a four wheel drive truck.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. You have a 4 wheel truck, but neglected to ask for gas to run it.

I wish I had a french dip sub


----------



## scareme

Zing!...You have a sub. In fact you're in your sub. On your way to New Zealand you get lost and end up in France. You try to ask them for directions, but they don't understand you and think you are trying to attack them. They start firing at you and you have to make the sub dip (it's a stretch) to avoid being hit. So you travel along further under water and surface again to ask for directions. To bad you surfaced in Egypt this time. Good Luck.

I wish the weather would clear up so everyone would get back to work so I could go shopping.


----------



## Goblin

Uhhhhh.....a french dip subis a sandwich from Arbys. lol


----------



## Haunted Spider

What no wish? I guess I will have to grant the previous wish. 

Poof, Goblin gets nothing as nothing was asked for

Poof, the weather clears. Everyone returns to work, but that includes Scareme and Goblin as they are clearly part of everyone. With everyone working there is no time for shopping or Arby's french dip subs, or even trips to France and Egypt in Subs. 

I wish the ice would go away so I could drive home safe.


----------



## RoxyBlue

As you wish.....

The ice-covered roads clear magically before your eyes even as we speak. As you slide behind the wheel of your car, you heave a sigh of blissful relief - no fears of slipping off the road or suffering an accident now. The trip home is a pleasure as you navigate what were once treacherous streets. You arrive home safely and pull into your driveway. "Damn, I wish I'd thought to make this wish sooner" you call out gaily as you press the garage door opener. As the garage door begins to open, you suddenly hear an ominous rumble. Peering up through the windshield, you note with horror that all the ice you wished away from the roads is now teetering at the edge of the garage roofline. Before you can move or even think, the massive pile comes crashing down, crushing both you and your car. With a little luck, there'll be an early thaw so they can find your remains in time for a spring burial.

I wish I had some Captain Morgan's Private Stock to add to my hot chocolate


----------



## Goblin

Did you grant a wish or write a short story? 

Poof. You now have Captain Morgan's private stock for your hot chocolate.
But all the neighbors find out and it is quickly gone. However, the Captain
finds out and arrives with his pirates demanding it back......Now what do you do?

I wish I had a sugar-free strawberry shortcake


----------



## scareme

Goblin said:


> Uhhhhh.....a french dip subis a sandwich from Arbys. lol


A sandwich from Arbys would be too easy. You choke, you die. We want answers you could make movies out of. Why do you think Hollywood producers check out this web site? Duh.


----------



## scareme

Boom! Do you know what it would take to grow sugar free strawberries? All the scientist that were just on the verge of discovering a way to grow enough crops to end world starvation are transfered over to the project to grow strawberries without fructose, but still have a sweet flavor. Since no one is working on crop production, millions of people die. All because of one selfish person. Mother Theresa, now in heaven, hears about the suffering people and this really pisses her off. Her ghost shows up at your door and opens up a can of whoop-ass on you. That was the second miracle she needed to become a saint. The pope canonizes her as a saint, and you go to hell.

I wish I could drink six cokes a day, and never gain a pound.

See Goblin, I even have the ghost of Mother Theresa in your movie!


----------



## Goblin

Poof! You can now drink six cokes a day and never gain a pound......
you gain 5 pounds for every coke you drink. 
Silly girl, you should have asked to never gain any weight! 
Mother Teresa should've warned you about that!

I wish I wasn't diabetic anymore.


----------



## Haunted Spider

poof you are no longer diabetic. You now are instead allergic to all food. I are forced to only drink water and take vitamin supplements for life, which is about 5 weeks from now. 

I wish I didn't have to work anymore.


----------



## Goblin

Gee Spiderclimber, it was nice of you to take the consequences for me
.....and you granted your own wish too! You won't have to work but 5 
more weeks! lol

I wish Spiderclimber would get 10 weeks instead of 5


----------



## Haunted Spider

poof. I get 10 weeks instead of 5, but I still can't make it to Halloween and the architectual board in my community has ordered me to take my display down as it is not halloween time leaving me to die with no final hurrah of Halloween. 

I wish Goblin would stop posting about lawyers digging up old debts and trying to collect without giving an explaination of what he is talking about.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. Granted. But I would think that would be obvious.
Law firms buy up old debts, claim they are their clients and try
to collect them. Their "clients" have filed a claim with their
insurance company and got their money. When they can't get
anything they will sell the debt and take a loss on it.

I wish I had a ribeye steak with baked potatoes.


----------



## Haunted Spider

poof granted a ribeye steak with baked potatoes. Unfortunately as you are walking to the table, you slip on some of the butter which has run off of the potatoe and break your jaw. It is now wired shut and you can't eat solid food for 6 months. 

I wish I had a dollar


----------



## autumnghost

Wish granted - you have a dollar but your checking account is empty and that dollar is all you have

I wish I had more hours in the day


----------



## Haunted Spider

Poof - you have more hours in the day. But it makes the day endless and Halloween is not in February. 

I wish my chocolate ice cream was vanilla.


----------



## Goblin

Poof. You're chocolate ice cream is now vanilla.......but it has melted due to the 
energy needed to grant the wish.

I wish Spiderclimber had a gallon of vanilla ice cream.


----------



## Haunted Spider

Poof I have a gallon of vanilla icecream but no friends to share it with.

I wish Goblin would pass Roxy in posts.


----------



## scareme

Poof-The cold snap the weather men forecasted is here. But it is a lot colder than they expected. It is so cold they don't even have a thermometer that can register it. Have you seen the movie "The Day After Tomorrow"? Well this cold wave makes the weather in that movie look like Miami in July. It is so cold it permeates through the ground so deep it freezes the lava core at the center of the earth. It is so cold it freezes even deeper and freezes the fires of hell. And that does it. Because it would take hell freezing over for Goblin to pass Roxy in posts. 

I wish I was genius smart.


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## Goblin

Poof. You are now genius smart. But your brain is too small to contain that 
much intelligence (Only Goblins are) and it quickly burns out! Now you are less 
smarter than you were before and have been offered a new job as a Scarecrow
in Oz!

Oh look, hell is freezing over! 

I wish for a consequence reflector which would bounce the consequences
back at the sender......at triple strength!


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## Haunted Spider

Poof Consequence reflector enabled. Consequences are reflected back to original senders. Unfortunately the reflector is too powerful and the consequences shoot clear past the intended target reaching forth for a worthy receptor, one of genius smarts. Being as Goblins are the only recepters for this type of power, they ensue all consequences of said reflectors. 

I wish the people at the toll booths were happier.


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## Goblin

Poof. They now get all your money and they're happier!

I wish someone would ship all the policticians overseas instead of the jobs


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## Haunted Spider

poof, Polititians are shipped overseas. But wait, what just happened, the shipping freight is stuck at the airport. The TSA people have hassled the pilot and the cargo handlers. The flight was delayed which missed the connection with the next shipping container ship. The politicians are now doomed due to their lack of fixing the airport security measures and ensuring the public are not harrassed. All of the public rejoices but are soon forced to fill the positions. They choose only Christmas loving individuals which cancel Halloween to ensure there is enough time to get decorations out on the shelves by July. 

I wish post it notes were available in black.


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## Goblin

Poof. Post notes are available in black.....and only black. All ink pens are gone except
the ones with black ink. Try as you will, you can never read any messages again.

I wish Spring was here.


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## Haunted Spider

Poof Spring is here, in the form of a thigh master spring. All you can do now is work out the legs and pray for warmth from the exercise. 

I wish I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.


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## Goblin

Poof. You have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But before you can eat it the
dog snatches it out of you hand and gobbles it up. Too bad.

I wish Spiderclimber had another sandwich


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## Haunted Spider

Poof I have another sandwich. but this time, my puppy (10 weeks) takes it off the plate while I clean up a pee spot on the floor. 

I wish Goblin would stop wishing things for me that he knows will get messed up haha


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## Goblin

Poof! I can no longer wish things for Spiderclimber.....nor can I grant any of his wishes
anymore either! Brokenhearted, he runs off into the closet andcrys his eyes out for the
rest of the year!

I wish ET would phone home.....on Spiderclimber's phone........collect!


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## Haunted Spider

ET phones home on my phone at 7 am this morning. Unfortunately for ET, he chose to use my phone when my company was switching carriers, so between 6am and 8:15 am, I had no service. This means ET is now stuck on earth forever and is family is sad they didn't get to say hi. 

I wish I understood my new phone.


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## Goblin

Poof. You now understand your new phone, however it translates into Japenese now
so nobody knows what the heck you are saying!

I wish I wasn't sick right now


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## Rahnefan

Ka-swoosh, you are fully healthy. However you are now a fetus and must relive your entire life.

I wish I only needed an hour of sleep per day. Or none.


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## Zurgh

•◘○♦Tweedle♦○◘•
Now you never *can* sleep, but your never fully awake. Perpetually groggy, tired and cranky, people often mistake you for one of the living dead.:zombie:

I wish to be able to turn into a sentient canned ham at will and be able to transform back to human again.:googly:


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## Goblin

Poof. Granted. You turn into a sentinent canned ham at will and back again.
Only someone starts eating you in your ham state and you die before you can become human.

I wish I had a beef and cheddar sandwich


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## Zurgh

BooM ShakA-lAKa! You have one! In your hands now! All hot & drippy with yummy cheesy fluids. It's so good, you eat it over your keyboard. Ignoring all the best chances to reply to posts here, you slowly electrocute yourself gobbling the best sandwich you ever had in front of your computer... you also end up slowly cooking yourself... your pets & hidden pests also have the best slow cooked meal ever, YOU. The authorities discover only your skeletal remains in front of your computer... along with many well fed critters.


I wish for a newer computer.


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## Evil Andrew

Poof - you get a new computer, at least it's new to you. After the coroner's inquest, you buy Goblin's computer at the police auction. It doesn't work, but you like how it smells like BBQ Goblin ribs and pasteurized process cheese fluid.

I wish I had an Arby's regular and potato cakes


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## Goblin

Granted. But they are made out of Zurgh who I have turned into a potato. You eat the potato cakes but they give you food poisoning and you die.

I wish that fishes make wishes for dishes


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## scareme

Granted. But he won't grant a wish for just any dish. Only a rare 15th century ming gold plated dinner dish. And since you have about as good a chance at getting one of those as a snowball in hell, the fish doesn't really do you much good. So you eat it. Turns out it was poison, and you die.

I wish I knew who peed behind my chair.


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## Goblin

Granted. They **** in front of your chair and you catch them

I wish everyone will have a Merry Christmas


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## scareme

You would think that would be a pleasent wish wouldn't you. But in making that wish you have pissed off the Islam, Hinduis, Muslem, Buddhism, Sikhism, Judaism, Taoism, Zoroastrianism, Pagan, and Confucianism just to name a few. You are now the poster boy for their anger, and they put a contract out on you. Within three months you are dead. 

I wish I could stop coughing and get some sleep.


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## Goblin

You stop coughing (and breathing) and are able to sleep forever.

I wish Scareme would stop coughing too


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## scareme

I do stop coughing, thanks to steroids. But the side effects from the steroids kill me. I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't.

I wish 2012 would bring peace on earth, goodwill towards man.


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## Goblin

Granted.....You are all alone in the zombie apolypse

I wish for a prosperous new year


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## stagehand1975

Granted. The money is pouring in so fast that you have been buried alive.

I wish for a change for the better.


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## QueenRuby2002

Granted you are now a child again.

I wish for a handsome male haunter to come finish this project list for me.


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## scareme

A tall dark stranger shows up at your door and offers to help you work on props. But you don't get much compleated, before he takes you in his arms, and you forget all about the prop. In the morning when you wake up he's not there. But you know he'll be back. Because he left his wedding ring on the counter by the sink. You curse the dirty dog, and look over at your still half finished props. You should have at least made him finish one prop first. 

I wish the Christmas decorations would put themselves away.


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## QueenRuby2002

Your christmas decorations slowly come to life. They play christmas music as they happily pack them selves away. Maybe to happily as they mistake you for a decoration as well and taope you up and pack you away as well. oh well see you next christmas. 

I wish for the price of building materials to go down.


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## scareme

The price goes down, but the size goes down too. Instead of a 2x4 it's 1/4th X 1 1/2. Instead of a gallon of paint, it's sold by the cup. Do you know how many cups of paint it takes to paint a house? And instead of feet, pvc pipe is sold by the inch, and you can only buy an inch at a time. So you have to duct tape them end to end. Remember the good old days when you could buy supplies in larger sizes?

I wish I could go to a movie tonight.


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## Wildcat

And to a movie you shall go, unfortunately it's a Bollyworld remake of Gone with the wind.

I wish my driveway would remain clear of snow.


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## PirateLady

Your driveway will remain clear of snow, but the ice causes your driveway to collapse and you have to replace it in the spring. 


I wish my garden will grow well this spring ans summer.


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## QueenRuby2002

And grow it dose, untill it takes over the house and then the town. Soon it takes over the world and you find you self the first of the human slaves to your new plant over lords.

Dang it now I dont want to make a wish hmmmmm Oh I got it.

I wish my Ex- finds happieness with his new wife.


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## Hairazor

Your Ex finds happiness with his new wife till he finds out she is on the FBI's most wanted list for killing off all her past husbands for the insurance money.

I wish for weight loss


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## Goblin

I cut your head off.

I wish for world peace


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## N. Fantom

World peace comes but at a price of slaughtering all those with the slightest bit of darkness in them, which means everyone on this forum dies a horrible grizzly death.

I wish for nothing bad to ever happen again


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## Goblin

Everyone is killed off......so nothing bad ever happens again

I wish I had a million dollars


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## Zurgh

You get your 1 million dollars, but the IRS audits you the same day, and assess you for 1 million and one dollars in various taxes & fees...


I wish for the best chocolate ice cream bar ever...


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## Hairazor

Your wish is granted but it is one of a kind so it is kept behind lock and key in a refrigerated display case

I wish for a low calorie, but good tasting chocolate cream filled cake


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## N. Fantom

Your wish has come true but it is so high in demand that each cake costs in the mid hundreds

I wish that nothing bad happens to anything anywhere in the universe or in other universes ever.


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## Spooky1

Nothing bad can happen in any universe, so there is no death, disease or hunger. Everyone lives for ever, but as the population grows and grows and there is no way to feed everyone, but no one can die and starvation is bad so it can't happen, but there's still not enough food, but people can't starve ..... This paradox continues to erode the fabric of the universes until all universes suddenly just wink out of existence in a giant sucking sound. 

I wish the universe would come back with the world ruled by common sense.


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## Goblin

Your wish is granted. The universe is back and it's ruled by ME! 

I wish that tadpoles could dance!


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## Bone To Pick

Your wish is granted. Mr. Tad Poles of Kenosha, WI can now dance and he thanks you.

I wish that my yard was better for decorating.


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## Hairazor

You now have the most perfect yard for a Halloween haunt---but---everytime you put something out, envious people steal it for themselves.

I wish that everyone could start the day out with a good laugh.


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## Goblin

Your wish is granted. Go outside first thing in the morning! 

I wish I had a billion dollars


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## Bone To Pick

Unfortunately there was a small typo somewhere and you now have a billion doll arses. No butts about it, you're only a billion heads, torsos and appendages away from rivaling Mattel. :eekin:

I wish I was more organized.


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## graveyardmaster

wish i was not feeling depressed


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## Copchick

Hey GYM, you're supposed to grant the one above you (preferably in an odd manner, hence the title "messed up wish list") then make your wish.


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## the bloody chef

This looks like a fun game so I'll get it rolling again and grant Bone's wish....he is now the most organized person in the Universe, but to do that, he used up all of the organizational matter in the whole Cosmos and now everyone else is a bloody mess!!!! This drives Bone crazy and he is packed away in a neat rubber room with a filing cabinet and a day planner (everyday's plan is 'organize files')....

I wish I could talk to animals! :xbones:


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## RoxyBlue

Your wish is granted. You can talk to animals as often as you like, and you start talking to every animal you see - birds, stray dogs, horses in TV westerns, pictures of cats in ads for cat food in magazines. They, of course, don't understand you, being animals and all, but you talk to them incessantly all the same and tell everyone you meet that Dr Doolittle had nothing on you. This obsessive behavior causes concern with family and friends, and the decision is quietly made to have you committed and kept under observation. You're put into a neat rubber room next to Bone to Pick's room and spend your days happily chattering about your ability to talk to animals while he neatly organizes non-existent files.

I wish it was time to go home now.


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## Copchick

Your wish is granted. You may go home with the thought of a fantastic candlelight dinner cooked by Spooky1. Of course it's all of your favorite dishes. Willow is nestled at your feet as you sip a glass of wine. In reality you arrive where home is actually in the middle rubber room between Bone To Pick and The Bloody Chef where you keep hearing mutterings of the two saying "Stop growling at me, get your own damn bone. Stop meowing, I don't have your catnip" and "Why can't I find the lables? The folders are all out of order!"

I wish I could travel into space.


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## the bloody chef

Your wish is granted! As you patrol in your squad car, you see a very bright light. As you drive into the light, you realize that your squad car is now entering the upper atmosphere where you gaze in wonder and astonishment at the billions of stars in front of you. A large spaceship pulls up next to you. After checking your license, registration and insurance, the space beings load you onto what they say is the largest and most powerful space slingshot in the Universe. They shoot you out towards Alpha Centauri at Worp Factor 3. After traveling 100,000,000,000 miles your squad car enters an orbit in the Milky Way and every 5,278 years you return to earth and are accused in the Mayan Calendars as being the asteroid that will end the world in the year 7290. Thanks alot, CC!!! :madien: 

I wish that I could be the host of the Miss World Pageant. :smoking:


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## Copchick

Your wish is granted, TBC. You will be called to appear for the internationally televised Miss World Pageant. You are picked up by a shiny black limousine, and escorted to the red carpet, to the back stage of a Donald Trump Hotel where millions are waiting for you to appear. When you walk out onto the stage it suddenly hits you that you're not hosting it you're IN it! You look down to see yourself wearing a sapphire blue chiffon gown with rhinestones all along the neckline. It is quite lovely. As you walk/stumble to the runway, you keep thinking "Who the hell invented high heels?" You parade down the runway and a cold shiver goes down your spine when you realize they haven't eliminated the swimsuit competition! 

I wish I was in Hawaii sipping mimosas


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## the bloody chef

Thanks for granting my wish, CC! I do look good in blue chiffon! And because you noticed, I've granted your wish and you are now in Oahu sipping a cool, refreshing Mimosa while floating serenely in a foam lounger in the pool of the world famous Oahu Westin Spa & Resort! As friendly Nu'uuma'laka'lapoo'poo, the strapping, bronze native bartender, serves you another drink, there is a thunderous boom and a massive cloud of volcanic ash appears. The lava soon shows up and flows into the spa, creating a rift in the shoreline, causing a tsunami which carries you, your Mimosa and your floating barcolounger out into the Pacific where you float for a month before landing on a half acre coral reef island with one coconut tree. 

I wish I had an unlimited supply of free beer :googly:


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## Copchick

Your wish is granted. You are walking in a desert when you come across a genie lamp. With the hot sun beating down on you, you rub the lamp until "Jeanie" appears and tells you "Master, three wishes I will grant you". You happily tell Jeanie that you want an unlimited supply of beer. She blinks her eyes and as far as you can see you see all kinds of BEARS! They're milling about kinda growling and grunting and not looking too happy to be there to appease you and your wish. You tell Jeanie, "not bears, but beer!" She blinks her eyes again and the bears are now BARE! (Oh no!) Now the bears are really PO'd! They're out in the hot sun, naked. You tell Jeanie, "No, no! I want an unlimited supply of b-e-e-r!" So thinking she finally has it right, she blinks her eyes and all the bare bears have BEER. You gonna fight bare bears for their beer in the hot sun? Ha, try it. 

I wish I could eat any delicious food that I want and never gain weight.


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## the bloody chef

I will grant this noble request and give you an unlimited gift card to every bakery and restaurant in Pittsburgh! You start with a three course meal at a 4 star French bistro where you enjoy a sumptuous pheasant with roasted vegetables. For dessert a creme brulee. Then an entire French cheesecake. After dinner you head to the best Italian restaurant in town and have their world famous chicken parmagian, veal marsala _and_ zuppa de pesce, followed by a sampler of 12 gelattos. From there you get a craving for Chinese dumplings, but on your way to Sum Dum Gardens, you notice that your clothes feel a little loose! You are a taken aback, but head to the restaurant where you consume a world record 347 dumplings in an hour and have your picture taken with the staff. You look a little thin in the picture, but that seems okay. You continue eating all of your favorite foods at all of your favorite restaurants and you keep getting thinner and thinner! After 24 hours of non-stop eating you are down to 37 pounds and wearing the tablecloth from the Bavarian Beer Garden that you just left. You realize that you can no longer eat delicious food and survive, so you stop at the world's worst restaurant and order their most horrible dish- calves liver sushi with limberger dipping sauce- and you choke it down. Then you have a slice of octopus and eyeball cake. It makes you sick, but you gain a couple of pounds. You come to the sad realization that you must only eat disgusting, horrible food for the rest of your life or waste away.....

I wish I could fly like a bird!


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## Goblin

Your wish us granted. I throw you off the Empire State Building and you fly for 30 seconds!
You never specified how long or if it was permanent!

I wish I could have real ghosts in my haunt without killing me to provide them!


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## Monk

Granted. Each and every one of your neighbors suddenly drop dead, but their restless souls flock to you to haunt for ever more.

I wish I hadn't sold my soul.


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## Ramonadona

Wish granted...No more 'sold your soul'...but now for eternity you 'hold a pole'...yes, you are now a pole dancer!

I wish all my wishes would all come true


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