# Dear Santa from Hippofeet



## Hippofeet (Nov 26, 2012)

Dear Santa,

Hey. Are you cold up there? It's butt-cold here, I imagine that you must be near death, shivering under a blanket of stiff reindeer hides and frozen elf corpses. Do frozen elf corpses have an R factor, Santa?

Anywho, I have been good this year. Which, after that last trip overseas, I needed to be! Ha Ha, that guy at the US Embassy was so suspicious! "I don't feel like you are telling me everything" Ha Ha Remember? I bet you do, probably why you skipped me last year. Considering the naughtiness I could have gotten into, I thought I deserved at least something, but hey, you know best.

So this Christmas, in light of my good behavior, I would like the following items to appear under my tree forthwith! my good man.

A 3-D printer. Come on, you know I will do cool things with it. Define illegal, Santa.

Project boxes. I prefer aluminum extrusions with heat sinks, and if they don't have mounting tabs, well, that would be stupid. One of every size made, and don't skimp on the anodizing.

A solder sucker. I just need one, but it's something I never seem to buy. I know, I know, I said I wasn't going to hand fab boards, but Santa, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

A new .22 pistol. Please make sure it doesn't have a full slide, 'cause that's gonna screw up my ECQB, and I would like the mag to hold at least 10 rounds. Fixed sights, Novak if possible. Not a nickel finish, Santa. Don't be stupid. I know I don't have to tell you, but bull barrel.

New foam bodies for props. I have been asking for these forever! The cloth dummies just don't cut it anymore. Let's get real Santa. Oh, and they better be cheap and incredibly detailed, or you will hear about it.

More prop controllers! I can't have enough. If your elves are not up to the task (the ones that aren't blue and stiff at their work stations) I know a place that would love to make a bunch. I would just as soon have them made at the North Pole, in the good ol' US of A.

Wire. Santa! What's with all this 16 gauge? I must have 8 spools of it. You make stuff, you should know it just sucks for fine soldering, and lets see some more colors. Sheesh.

A muse. I don't know, this is a tough one. But props don't design themselves, well, OK sometimes, but it's getting hard to come up with designs, and the times keep getting shorter. Like today, I needed more than 2 minutes to design that. So a muse would be nice, something to get the old creative juices flowing for the coming year. She can be taller than me, but not over 6 feet please. That's awkward. Unless this muse has black hair, with just a touch of gray, and bright, mischievous green eyes. Then I don't care how tall my muse is. 

So, no pressure, but let's make this happen Santa.

Thanks. All my best to the Missus.

Hippofeet


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

Dear Santa - 

I'll keep it simple - a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, because last year I got three bottles of Kahlua and no Bailey's, and you can't mix a good Kahlua and Irish cream without the Irish cream

Your pal,

RoxyB

P.S. Hugs to the reindeer and remember Zero is available if the reindeer go on strike or get accidentally shot with Hippofeet's new .22 while it's being packed up in the sleigh:googly:


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## Lunatic (Oct 3, 2006)

Ha ha ha...LOL!
I don't know how to respond to this thread.

Well written and totally funny, Hippofeet! You should write children's books.
I too want a tall muse with black hair and green eyes but shhhhh....don't tell my wife. I'll keep it hidden in the garage and take it out when I need it. Thanks for making me laugh!

Dear Santa,
Please give Roxy a membership to AA. And while your at it you might as well get one for Spooky. I have a feeling the poor man has been influenced by the missus.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Dear Santa, anything but coal again! 

Later, Hairazor


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## Pumpkin5 (Aug 8, 2010)

:jolReally? We're doing this?) Okay, here goes...
Dear Santa, 
I sincerely hope my letter finds you and Mrs. Claus in good health and the workshop humming along nicely. I want to thank you for all that you do to make Christmas special for so many. I know you made my childhood magical and no matter what I hear or read....I will always believe in you.

The joy you bring to the children at Christmas is amazing. I know it must be a huge undertaking, and you spend ALL year working at it....you remind me so much of many of my haunter friends. They work all year long creating and designing and hot gluing and sawing and hammering....again....like you....but without the advantage of your huge workshop and the army of worker elves. Still, on the magic night of Halloween, all the work is justified and the scales balance and we are paid back with squeals and giggles and screams. Much like Christmas, but orange and black instead of red and green. So I understand your labor of love and your toil for the magic of Christmas, because I share your vision....mine is just a bit scarier.

Do me a favor and take good care of those fabulous reindeer and I'll leave a couple of buckets of oats out on Christmas Eve. Oh yeah I nearly forgot, what do I want for Christmas? Hhhhmmm, maybe a swaying zombie kit from Spiderhill Prop Works and 60 yards of cheesecloth? That'd be just amazing. Oh, and please take care of Hairazor, she is such a sweet soul and deserves so much more than coal...please fill her stocking with Halloween treats!
Much love and kisses,
A true believer and your friend,
Pumpkin5


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## scareme (Aug 29, 2006)

Santa Claus
Somewhere at the North Pole
I lost the dang address again, 
may be it's in with last years 
Christmas cards, I'll look later.

Dear Santa, 

I don't really have time to write you right now. I need to get my Christmas cards sent out. I guess I'll have to buy them first. I had thought about writing Merry Christmas on the back of the envelopes of the cards I receive, and then writing Return to Sender on the front. But the Post Office frowned on that last year.
And I need to get to my Christmas baking, but again, I need to run out and get the supplies first. I wonder if the flour, sugar, and other ingredients I bought to use for last years baking, but never got around to doing, are still good yet? I've heard the little black bugs that are in the flour are actually a good source of protein. 
And then there's the tree decorating. At least I did get the live tree bought. And it's leaning in the corner it's suppose to go in. I suppose I should have watered it when we brought it home, but it's one of those things I'm going to get around to doing. I think it can go for another week yet. Look how long they can go in the summer without rain. Yeah, it should be good. 
And I need to get the presents wrapped, but you guessed it, I have to buy them first. It's not like the old days when I could just wrap up some of the kids old toys and give them to them again. They started catching on to that when I gave my son that Hi Ho Cherry-o game when he was in high school. Darn kids growing up. I knew that feeding them everyday would lead to no good. 
Anyway, as you can see I'm just too busy right to sit down and figure out what I need for Christmas. But I'll write you again soon just as soon as I get caught up on things. I promise. It will be the next thing I do after I get the lights put up outside. Oh wait! I never took them down from last year. I'm so far ahead of the game I can't believe it. Talk to you soon. I mean it. Really, I promise you. Really, this time I will get back with you. Later.

Love, Laurie


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## Will Reid (Sep 2, 2013)

xx


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## Wildcat (Nov 3, 2007)

Dear Santa.
First let me say sorry and that the explosion wasn't completely my fault. How was I to know that my neighbours trailer had a magnesium compound in it. Sure was an energetic fire though.

I would also like to take this time to apologize about the snowman crossing. As many have explained to me, snowmen do not have right of way.

I hope you could also overlook the zombies in the manger scene and the skeleton in your sleigh at Walmart. You have to admit though, they had it coming. Christmas stuff out in October?

Now with that out of the way, if it isn't any trouble. Could I get a couple pink or blue foam panels? My CNC table seems to have eaten all of mine.

Thanks.
Wildcat:googly:


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## Zurgh (Dec 21, 2009)

*"Wassup X-mas crew!"*

To: 'Santa' ; 'Mrs. Claus' ; 'The X-mas Elves'

Cc; 'The Krampu's ; 'Zwarte Piet' ; ' Le Père Fouettard' ; 'Belsnickel' ; 'The Yule Goat, Julbocken' ; 'The Christmas Cat, Jólakötturinn' ; 'Grýla, Leppalúði and the Jólasveinar' ; Others...

Dear fellow Christmas entities, Good tidings to you all on this big, busy season!

It would seem I got cursed or hexed (Baba Yaga?), as all my letters directly to Santa spontaneously combust before mailing. It is similar to the 'church problem' . Ya' know when I go to church & sit down, then my bottom starts burning and I start to smolder & smoke? Although that could be attributed to the Hemorrhoids & absent minded pipe smoking (it always gets me kicked out, either way...) I digress... I do need to contact the big man.

I need to know the itinerary for this year, all strike teams and support crews are anxious to begin the Christmas drills and preparation. It is late, again.

I know the after-party last year got a little out of hand at the top secret moon base, but we did pay full reparations to the Skelexi delegation, and have made no mention (until now) about the cost for the repairs and cleanup to the main amphitheater in Dome #3. The 4L took care of that. Man, those elves can party!

Thanks for hosting this years after-party in the Black Forest, Krampus! We'll be there early to help set up & the orbital fort will be fully stocked and ready in case we need to resupply!

As for my personal X-mas list... if you could forward this, too, to the Big Guy... ya' know, the usual peace on earth, good will towards man... and whatever else you think will tickle my fancy (if my fancy is in need of tickling)...

Zesty X-mas you Motley Yule Crew!

Zurgh & The Western Rapid Response Division(WRRD)...:googly:


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