# Is There A Reason?



## Lady Nyxie

Spinning off of Jonathan's thread... let's make this into a game as someone suggested in the his thread.

Simply finish the sentence.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Is there a reason... that people slow down to 5 mph as soon as 2 snowflakes hit the ground?


----------



## scareme

That the line I choose to check out in at any store, is always the slowest?


----------



## scareme

That my kids can't hear me calling for twenty minutes, but they can hear me open the refrigerator door?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that the glue on the flap of envelopes has to taste so bad?


----------



## Spooky1

... that most federal holidays are during cold weather.


----------



## Don Givens

They can put a man on the moon but they can't make a Blucky with realistic hands and feet.


----------



## Don Givens

............ glue only dries fast when I make a mistake.


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the number of layers of varnish needed for decoupage is always twice what you think it will be?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that a project always costs twice what you think it should?


----------



## Spooky1

.. that when you take something apart, you always have mystery part left over when you put it back together?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that you never see the "batteries not included" statement on the box until after you get home from the store?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that your clothing never fit back into the suitcase for the trip home?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the work day goes so slow, but lunch goes so quickly?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that child-proof caps have to be so difficult for an adult to open?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that no matter the size of your house, eventually it is not big enough for all your crap?


----------



## slightlymad

....that my wife always wants to talk to me just as I start to fall asleep in my chair


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that men always fall asleep in their chair when their wife needs to talk to them?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that men won't hear what their wives say when they're talking in the same room, but will hear the word "sex" whispered from across the house?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that we women put up with the hijinx men pull?


----------



## rottincorps

.......my wife goes out with the girls, no big deal.........But if I want to go out with the guys......theres just no time for that!


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that rottincorps doesn't understand how his statement can be true?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that people can stand in line at Burger King for 15 minutes and still have to read the menu when they get to the cash register?


----------



## slightlymad

...that woman never hear the word sex when its screamed across the room


----------



## scareme

Did you say something Slightlymad?


----------



## scareme

Is there a reason there are 30 cards in the greeting card box, but only 29 envelopes?


----------



## Haunted Bayou

ITAR.....that after a year, the dryer keeps shrinking my jeans!


----------



## RoxyBlue

slightlymad said:


> ...that woman never hear the word sex when its screamed across the room


ROFLMAO!!!!


----------



## Spooky1

Hey Roxy, Didn't you hear me calling you from across the room.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that it is always dark and dreary during the week when I am at work and would rather be home taking a nap, but then when I am able to take a nap on the weekend that the sun is brightly shining and making me feel guilty about napping and/or shining in my eyes preventing me from said napping?


----------



## Spooky1

... That the weekdays have beautiful weather and then the weekend comes along and it rains.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that kids today spend so much money on clothes that either have holes in them or don't fit properly?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that what kids today consider music sounds like a jumbled up mess to old people like me?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that M&M's melt in your mouth, but not your hands?


----------



## RoxyBlue

..that when there are multiple lights at an intersection, the green ones aren't the same color?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that it's so damn cold outside?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that even though packages of food are getting smaller, the prices aren't?


----------



## scareme

...the dog barks at nothing, but when someone is really there she runs and hides?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the favorite game amongst my three dogs is the "here, lick my winky" game? Which is usually followed immediately by the "here, Mommy, let me give you a kiss" game.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that they haven't made testing mandatory prior to conceiving a child? Seriously, have you seen some of the people who have been allowed to breed?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that corn comes out the same way it went in?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that my puppy Lakota waits until I sit down to have to potty even though he was out just a few minutes prior?


----------



## Haunted Bayou

ITAR Lady Nyxie is posting every hour on the hour. LOL!


----------



## Lady Nyxie

LOL HB

... that HB has noticed a pattern of me posting every hour on the hour?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that Lady Nyxie is on such a roll tonight?

(I am LMAO about the corn comment)


----------



## RoxyBlue

(and related to the corn thing...)


,,,that beer does not change color coming out?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I can't come up with anything to top these last few posts?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that clothing stores hang items high on the wall and then hide that shepherd hook thing you need to get something down to try on?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that clothing in the store always look great, until I try them on?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Oh, wait, it could be that my big fat butt has something to do with my last post.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> Oh, wait, it could be that my big fat butt has something to do with my last post.


LMAO....oops, my butt just fell off (but I need mine to keep my pants up!!!)


----------



## slightlymad

...that my wife insists on taking out all the xmas decorations even though she never packs them up


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that Slightlymad doesn't get that concept yet?


----------



## Spooky1

.. that I'm on the computer instead of fixing something for dinner?


----------



## scareme

... That as soon as I buy a new package of gift tags, I'll find the two I bought last year but put away.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that this forum is 100 times more addictive than crack cocaine?


----------



## scareme

...That the closer it gets to bedtime, the more the dogs get riled up?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that you can't always feel as relaxed as you feel when you are on vacation?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that co-workers turn their time sheets in late, but still want their paychecks on time?


----------



## Spooky1

... the boss decides to give us Christmas eve off, after I schedule a delivery of perishable reagents for delivery that day. I guess I'll be in, in the morning anyway.  I hope Fed-Ex shows up early.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that some people don't like dogs?


----------



## Spooky1

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that some people don't like dogs?


My theory is, it's a mental illness.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that there are so many people in this world with mental illness?

BTW... good theory.


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that cats deliberately go out of their way to find the one person in a room that is totally uncomfortable with cats?

(I love cats and I'm convinced they do this on purpose)


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I am having such a tough time keeping up with Roxy and Spooky1 at posting?


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that I am having such a tough time keeping up with Roxy and Spooky1 at posting?


LOL, maybe it's because you were trying to use the chat room at the same time.:googly:


----------



## Spooky1

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that I am having such a tough time keeping up with Roxy and Spooky1 at posting?


Heck, I can't even keep up with Roxy.

Is there a reason that Roxy is a posting machine.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Spooky1 said:


> Is there a reason that Roxy is a posting machine.


It's your fault, you know - you were the one that introduced me to the joys of the Haunt Forum


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that most men refuse to grow up and mature?


----------



## slightlymad

.....That most woman insist that men grow up?


----------



## RoxyBlue

....your muscles get that weird jiggly feeling right after you lift weights?


----------



## RoxyBlue

....that dogs are always ready to go out again right after they come in?


----------



## scareme

...that my son is spending all day Christmas day with his girlfriend and her family?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that what should be a joyous time of year to spend with friends and family in celebration turns into a chore?


----------



## slightlymad

...That a gathering of family always turns into a heated debate?


----------



## rottincorps

.........Why some people get promoted to there level of incompetence.........and its always the boss


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that you will see one shoe in the road, but not the other one from the pair?


----------



## rottincorps

......why as soon as you replace something you've lost......you find the thing you lost in the first place....


----------



## Spooky1

... the stuff I like at the grocery store always seems to get discontinued.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that my house seems to keep getting smaller and smaller, but the bills associated with said house keep getting bigger and bigger?


----------



## Eldritch_Horror

... you want to play a game on the boards, but can't think of anything clever or witty to say?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that Billy Mays seems to sell EVERYTHING on TV?


----------



## Spooky1

... that I always have a long list of things to do when I take time off from work, but I never get around to most of them.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that people look at you like you are some kind of lush or something just because you carrry a few cases of wine out of the state store? 

(For those of you not from PA... that is what we call a liqour store here.)


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that toast with jam on it will always fall to the floor jam side down?


----------



## Draik41895

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that this forum is 100 times more addictive than crack cocaine?


....that Lady Nyxie knows that about cocaine?


----------



## Dark Angel 27

... that men with tattoos all over the place are scared of getting shots?


----------



## RoxyBlue

Dark Angel 27 said:


> ... that men with tattoos all over the place are scared of getting shots?


LMAO, DA, that is so true!

And related to that...

...that 6 foot tall, 200 pound, rough & tumble mountain man who has no qualms about gutting a dead deer faints when faced with a needle

(I used to work with this guy - he was terrified of getting shots)


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Draik41895 said:


> ....that Lady Nyxie knows that about cocaine?


Hey! We have television here!


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that they couldn't just keep my neighbor in jail?


----------



## RoxyBlue

....that one person with a single shopping cart can still manage to block an aisle wide enough for a Mack truck to drive through?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that there is always more month than there is paycheck?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that the less food there is on the plate in a restaurant, the more you pay for it?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the best tasting food is always the food that is the worst for you?


----------



## Eldritch_Horror

Actually, that is not entirely true. I have many tattoos and a few piercings, and I have no trouble at all getting shots. I even watch as they draw blood! Besides, it's a much different sensation between getting a shot and getting a tat. Just my two cents.



Dark Angel 27 said:


> ... that men with tattoos all over the place are scared of getting shots?


----------



## Dark Angel 27

Eldritch_Horror said:


> Actually, that is not entirely true. I have many tattoos and a few piercings, and I have no trouble at all getting shots. I even watch as they draw blood! Besides, it's a much different sensation between getting a shot and getting a tat. Just my two cents.


I know that...I said that because the last time i was in the hospital the nurse who had to draw my blood for testing mentioned that he'd had a man come in with a lot of tattoo's that was totally terrified of it.

Sorry for not clarifying :jol:


----------



## Haunted Bayou

ITAR that people make new year resolutions that there is no possiblity they will keep?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that every year I resolve to drop pounds and never actually do?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that dogs get such a doofus face when you rub inside their ears?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I drink only a few ounces, but I end up pee'ing out at least a gallon... after going to the bathroom numerous times.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that when you are at a party drinking you can hold off going to the bathroom for a few hours, but as soon as you go one time you are in the bathroom every 15 minutes?


----------



## Dark Angel 27

is there a reason why im up this late when i should be asleep?


----------



## RoxyBlue

....that red-bellied woodpeckers don't actually have red bellies?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that a long vacation can mess up your sleep schedule so quickly?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that there is always someone who will take the last of an office supply and not mention it, which means the next person who needs it gets screwed?


----------



## Dark Angel 27

is there a reason that there are brail signs at drive up ATMs?


----------



## RoxyBlue

Dark Angel 27 said:


> is there a reason that there are brail signs at drive up ATMs?


LMAO!


----------



## Spooky1

Dark Angel 27 said:


> is there a reason that there are brail signs at drive up ATMs?


LOL, I've always wondered about that.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I am not allowed to be an "In God We Trust" American anymore, but I am required to be tolerant of the beliefs of others? 

Don't get me wrong... I understand and respect that people have different beliefs, but they need to understand and respect mine too.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that Wal-Mart attracts some of the most stupid people in the world?


----------



## Dark Angel 27

(this is something that's actaully happened to me)

...that shed building directions tell you to put up the walls first and put in the frames?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I am chronologically only 39, but judging by my aches and pains I am 93?


----------



## scareme

...that the later it gets, the hungrier I get.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the older you get the fast time seems to go by?


----------



## scareme

... that when I want to sit in my chair and watch TV, there is always someone else in it?


----------



## Mr_Chicken

... that when I want to watch TV, there's nothing good on?


----------



## debbie5

...that almost no dental plan in the US covers braces (in full) for kids, but Medicaid will?


----------



## debbie5

...why women used to get over a week in the hospital for bedrest when they gave birth, but now get kicked out after 2 or 3 days??


----------



## debbie5

Is there an evolutionary reason for girlstaches??


----------



## debbie5

and why gout? If I want to eat chicken wings 3 days in a row, why do I get pain in my TOE??


----------



## slightlymad

And why is it that when my wife actually decides to do something that I have to be involved?


----------



## Dark Angel 27

....that my dog likes eating cat food rather then eating the dog food i bought for him?


----------



## Eldritch_Horror

... that the flipping Water Authority can't give us any idea how much longer we'll have to boil our water? Or couldn't contact it's customers as soon as they noticed something was wrong?


----------



## Draik41895

that i'm probably the youngest person here


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that everything has to be sealed in plastic that you can't get open without a machete?


----------



## debbie5

...that nutty neighbors never realize they are nutty and get help?? 
and why does nutty & grouchy seem to go together?? 

(throwing Prozac over the fence to neighbor along with AA meeting list)


----------



## Lady Nyxie

debbie5 said:


> ...that nutty neighbors never realize they are nutty and get help??
> and why does nutty & grouchy seem to go together??
> 
> (throwing Prozac over the fence to neighbor along with AA meeting list)


... that some people don't see the specialness in me that I see when I look in the mirror? My Mommy always told me I was very special.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that some people don't see the specialness in me that I see when I look in the mirror? My Mommy always told me I was very special.


You ARE special, Lady N. Think of it - there are over 6 billion people living on this planet and, in all the world, only one of you.


----------



## scareme

Nixie, As long as you see the specialness in you. Yours is the only opinion that counts.

Deb, I'll take some of that Prozac that you're passing out.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Is there a reason.....that people think they need Prozac?


----------



## Moon Dog

Is there a reason why the only time the world beats a path to my door, I'm in the bathroom?


----------



## Spooky1

That my boss suddenly realizes he needs something for tomorrow at 5pm.


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that your office phone will always ring the moment you step out of your office?


----------



## BrokebackHaunter

that the day you decide to do a monster mud project..it decides to rain!


----------



## scareme

The car never makes that funny noise when your husband is driving it?


----------



## debbie5

(Hell, I would put Prozac in the municipal water supply if I could....)

Is there a reason the weatherman rarely gets our forecast correct?? (They predicted a huge ice storm, and the temp is 38 degrees...way too warm for any ice to form).


----------



## turtle2778

why every time i buy that expensive outfit it goes on sale for 50% off 2 weeks later.


----------



## turtle2778

why your child can look you in the face all innocent after buying you a 2x pajamas and say "well, they didnt have a 1x" and you actually wear a large??


----------



## turtle2778

why when ever I'm doing the dishes my nose starts to itch??


----------



## debbie5

...that the wire from a bra will poke out only when I am out in public?? Oh, the pain..


----------



## RoxyBlue

Moon Dog said:


> Is there a reason why the only time the world beats a path to my door, I'm in the bathroom?


And related:

...that you can be in your office alone all morning and, two seconds after you go into the bathroom, UPS or FedEx will show up with a delivery?


----------



## Spooky1

your nose decides to run when you have no tissues handy.


----------



## RoxyBlue

....guys don't understand why women have to carry a purse, but will give them stuff to put in it so they don't have to carry it?


----------



## rottincorps

.....putting up decorations is so much fun ....but taking them down is a pain.


----------



## scareme

...we have to take our decorations down? Can't we just leave them up all year?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Awww... shucks, thanks Roxy and Debbie.


----------



## Spooklights

...why the stuff I like to eat is so bad for me, and the stuff that's good for me I hate?


----------



## RoxyBlue

....the sun is guaranteed to be shining brightly right after you've had your eyes dilated for an exam?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that no matter how much I get to sleep I never feel caught up?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that people will make a statement saying that help is available to those who need it, but when someone asks for help the original person will come up with all kinds of reasons to ultimately not help?


----------



## slightlymad

...that no matter what I say or do I still have to nag to get things done


----------



## debbie5

... that my 11 year old daughter consistently scores *one point* over the cutoff grade for receiving a free math tutor from school?


----------



## rottincorps

.....the food always looks better on the menu then when it's on the table


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that a co-worker having a bad day feels compelled to share it with everyone else?


----------



## scareme

...That everytime I go to answer a question, Roxy posts just a few seconds before me?lol


----------



## RoxyBlue

scareme said:


> ...That everytime I go to answer a question, Roxy posts just a few seconds before me?lol


LOL back at you, scareme!


----------



## rottincorps

is there a reason that coffee wants to cleans you out when your on the road. (by clean you out I mean Time to go ... #2.......right now!).....(by #2..... I mean ...Poop...I hope I cleared that up.........like what coffee does)


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that winter is so darn cold?


----------



## RoxyBlue

LOL, Lady...and that the morning has to be so darn early in the day?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that my dog is a potty checker?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that there are so many Westerns on TV on Saturdays?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that there are people who believe having money or a title somehow makes them better than everyone else?


----------



## Moon Dog

That when I go to click on the pages of a thread, I get the share menu to expand instead?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that even though I spent 4 hours cleaning today it doesn't look like I did a thing?


----------



## slightlymad

...That the kids always come home just when you start to fool around?


----------



## RoxyBlue

Moon Dog said:


> That when I go to click on the pages of a thread, I get the share menu to expand instead?


LOL, I do that all the time, Moon Dog!


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the work week is 5 days long while the weekend is only 2 days long?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that it took me so long to realize I wrote "Thigs" instead of "Things" in the title of the "Things That Make You Go Eeewwwww!!!" thread?


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that it took me so long to realize I wrote "Thigs" instead of "Things" in the title of the "Things That Make You Go Eeewwwww!!!" thread?


(Everyone makes mistakes - we weren't going to mention it)


----------



## RoxyBlue

....that people have to make destructive things like trojans, viruses, and worms?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that there is so much evil in the world?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

RoxyBlue said:


> LOL, I do that all the time, Moon Dog!


Thank you for being so gracious, but I did go in and edit it... thank God for edit.

Obviously I wasn't paying attention cause I quoted the wrong reply. I am batting zero tonight.


----------



## RoxyBlue

...someone would put up a sign at one of those earring stores saying "Ears Pierced While You Wait"?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the government says it is ok to have a minimal amount of bugs, bug parts and mouse poop in our food?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that some days at work just seem to drag on and on and on?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that jokes are always funnier when someone tells you one in church?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that, in a one bathroom office, someone will go in there two seconds before you get up from your office to go?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that many (not all) of the people working at a fast food joint are the last people on earth you want handling your food?


----------



## Spooky1

... that my bosses seem to change the proirities of the projects I'm working on almost daily?


----------



## Dark Angel 27

RoxyBlue said:


> ...someone would put up a sign at one of those earring stores saying "Ears Pierced While You Wait"?


LMAO! that doesn't make much sense...its not like they can pierce your ears while you're walking around! good one roxy!


----------



## Dark Angel 27

... why bus drivers need to take off before you sit down in your seat?


----------



## rottincorps

...why is there a tip jar ....EVERY WHERE!....just do your job...HERE'S A TIP...GET A BETTER JOB....YOU JUST POUR COFFEE....DID YOU HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL TO DO THAT!.........OK I'm fine ...I just haven't had my coffee this morning..


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that winter seems to long and summer seems so fast?


----------



## Moon Dog

That the car in front of me has to drive 10MPH below the speed limit where the car behind me is about to run me over if I don't get out of his way?


----------



## Dark Angel 27

......that the girl characters in animae have more skin showing then the male characters?


----------



## slightlymad

....that I have to listen to the same stories from the monster in law every sunday?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that when I buy a textbook for school it costs over $100, but when I go to sell it back they offer me $1.50?


----------



## slightlymad

....that every time i want to get something done quickly someone else's mistake holds me up


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that anyone would think "pink for girls, blue for boys" is a law carved in stone?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I haven't eaten a warm meal in God only knows how long because of disruptions?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that your kids or dogs don't want anything to do with you until you are on the phone?


----------



## rottincorps

its time to go some where for the kids and I'm ready...........but when I need to be some where there never ready


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that being childless, many of my friends with children envy me?


----------



## rottincorps

everyone has got great advice about what they don't know


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that being childless, many of my friends with children envy me?


I've had the same experience, Nyx. What's funny is, those same people (after complaining about their kids) will turn to you and say "You'd be such a great mother" or "Someday you'll regret not having children" (hasn't happened yet). I think kids are a hoot; just never felt inspired to have any of my own (being an aunt ROCKS, though), which brings me to my "Is there a reason..."

"...that people think someone who doesn't have children doesn't like children?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that when you are intentionally on a diet all you can think about is food?


----------



## Spooky1

..that you can look in the refrigerator and find nothing you want to eat, but you'll look again 5 minutes later, as if you expect the contents to have changed.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that you can have a ton of snacks in the house, but don't want them... you only want what you don't have?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that you can have a closet full of clothes but nothing to wear?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I never have a good hair day?


----------



## Don Givens

why new replies aren't showing up on the Caption this Pic thread?


----------



## Spooky1

The same thing has happened to me. In my statistics it shows the posts I made, but they don't show on the Caption this picture thread.


----------



## Monk

why I cannot seem to leave this site today?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why all the roads are clear of ice except for the block in either direction right in front of your house?


----------



## Monk

Why I always check the refridgerator for something that wasn't there 2 minutes ago?


----------



## rottincorps

......when I'M so tired I cant stay awake, but as soon as I get to bed I cant sleep


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why your dog has to stop and sniff EVERYTHING on a walk when it's raining and you don't have an umbrella?


----------



## rottincorps

.......why we need 10 balls to put some one in office........oh ya and were going broke


----------



## RoxyBlue

rottincorps said:


> .......why we need 10 balls to put some one in office........oh ya and were going broke


...but it only takes four balls to get to first base?:googly::devil:


----------



## debbie5

..that cupcakes somehow develop the ability to call out my name and beg me to eat them?? Funny thing is, only I can hear this....

"I hear cupcake voices in my head, Doc..."


----------



## Spooky1

... that no one in this area seems to know how to drive when there's a little snow on the roads.


----------



## rottincorps

....that with everyone loosing there jobs and housing market going down the tubes, that its a good time to raise taxes


----------



## RoxyBlue

...dentists asks you questions when your mouth is full of cotton and dental tools, and you have enough novocaine in you to put a horse to sleep?


----------



## Spooky1

... that anyone would get a bonus when their company loses millions, or billions of dollars?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the police officer I saw this morning thought it was acceptable to turn on his emergency lights so he could completely blow off a stop sign and get in front of me, turn his lights back off, then drive like a bat out of he** so he could sit at a traffic light (which he could easily have used a device to change to green allowing him to get through if he had an actual emergency to go to) that I ended up sitting right next to him at? 

That to me is an abuse of power. I should have made a citizens arrest.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that the police officer I saw this morning thought it was acceptable to turn on his emergency lights so he could completely blow off a stop sign and get in front of me, turn his lights back off, then drive like a bat out of he** so he could sit at a traffic light (which he could easily have used a device to change to green allowing him to get through if he had an actual emergency to go to) that I ended up sitting right next to him at?
> 
> That to me is an abuse of power. I should have made a citizens arrest.


Maybe he heard there was a sale at Dunkin Donuts:googly:


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that there are fast food commercials on programs about people who are struggling with obesity?


----------



## scareme

...that the week my asthma starts acting up again, my Dr. is on vacation.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I am not independently wealthy and instead have to work for a living?


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that I am not independently wealthy and instead have to work for a living?


We have SO much in common, Nyx


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the older you get the less you enjoy the cold weather?

Remember when we were kids and had blue lips while sledding and having your parents drive by to pick you up to take you home and telling them that you weren't cold (while you shivered so bad you couldn't see straight)... just like the blue lips in the pool that you refused to get out of.


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that I always think of really good posts for this thread when I am nowhere near a computer, and then promptly forget them when I am?


----------



## rottincorps

I cant find the time to do the things I should............OH BUT YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO SCREW AROUND IN HERE.............and your point,is.........HEY LETS GO ON TO THE NEXT THRED...........OK


----------



## Lady Nyxie

RoxyBlue said:


> ...that I always think of really good posts for this thread when I am nowhere near a computer, and then promptly forget them when I am?


That's funny Roxy... with as big of a post whore as you are in such a short time I didn't think you ever left the computer and this forum.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

rottincorps said:


> I cant find the time to do the things I should............OH BUT YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO SCREW AROUND IN HERE.............and your point,is.........HEY LETS GO ON TO THE NEXT THRED...........OK


Thanks for saving me the trouble of pointing out the middle part of your post.


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why theres never enough time in the day


----------



## scareme

... I can't sleep tonight?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why my family just up and left this morning


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> That's funny Roxy... with as big of a post whore as you are in such a short time I didn't think you ever left the computer and this forum.


LOL, I gotta sleep sometime:googly:


----------



## Lady Nyxie

The Bloodshed Brothers said:


> why theres never enough time in the day


Personally, I don't want more hours in my day... I want less crap to do during those hours.


----------



## scareme

Is there a reason morning comes so damn early?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why i decide to stay up so late


----------



## Draik41895

why it rains in feb. but not in december


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why all the cool huant conventions and gatherings are so far away from temecula


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that someone would actually name a place "Temecula"?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

RoxyBlue said:


> ...that someone would actually name a place "Temecula"?


haha havent heard that before lol

its an indian name means sun shines through the mist or something like that.
Besides for the wierd name its a real nice place haha

....anyway

why does the honey nut cheerio bee have a different voice now
(it makes me sad)


----------



## RoxyBlue

...we haven't seen Lady Nyxie in a while? We miss you, Nyx!


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

its such a nice day outside and im on the computer


----------



## Lady Nyxie

RoxyBlue said:


> ...we haven't seen Lady Nyxie in a while? We miss you, Nyx!


... that in my absence the games that I started were seldom played?


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that in my absence the games that I started were seldom played?


Lack of the inspiring examples you provided is my guess

Glad to see you back.


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why i keep getting hurt at work


----------



## RoxyBlue

The Bloodshed Brothers said:


> why i keep getting hurt at work


Did you have another hammer incident?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

hahahah
no 

i busted my elbow open on the corner of a fixture and i dropped a shelve on my big toe


----------



## RoxyBlue

..that JC Penney's workers comp insurance premiums have increased in the past year?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that it is still cold and bleak outside and not warm and sunny?


----------



## Spooky1

... that every year we all seem to forget March weather is going to be all over the place, when we want warm and sunny.


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

theres nothing but news on at 4am


----------



## Draik41895

that every one in my school play is counting on me to get the last two lines right out of the like twelve i have


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

megan is so mean to drake and josh


----------



## debbie5

I feel so much better without a bra on, but doing so in public would turn people to stone....


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

mike rowe is so awesome


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that I don't have a dirty enough job so I can meet Mike Rowe?


----------



## dubbax3

debbie5 said:


> I feel so much better without a bra on, but doing so in public would turn people to stone....


WHAA?
(whaa meaning huh not waa as in cry, little info on the comment)

Also nothing wrong with being turned into stone


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

zach has a crazy ass story to tell me and wont


----------



## slightlymad

That the people who really should wear a bra wont


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why people who really shouldnt wear a bra do?


----------



## Draik41895

Draik41895 said:


> that every one in my school play is counting on me to get the last two lines right out of the like twelve i have


when i finally get them down,both the people playing Annie are sick?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

i should be tired but cant fall asleep


----------



## RoxyBlue

...so many drivers don't actually get into an available turn lane before making a turn?


----------



## Monk

...for this thread?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that it took me forever to catch up on the Happy Birthday's?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Monk said:


> ...for this thread?


Ah, don't you like this thread?


----------



## Monk

I like it. I was just wondering if their was a reason. 


...for mondays?


----------



## RoxyBlue

Monk said:


> I like it. I was just wondering if their was a reason.


For those who want to know, here's the original thread which triggered the idea for the "Is there a reason..." thread.

http://www.hauntforum.com/showthread.php?t=14525&highlight=reason


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

RoxyBlue said:


> For those who want to know, here's the original thread which triggered the idea for the "Is there a reason..." thread.
> 
> http://www.hauntforum.com/showthread.php?t=14525&highlight=reason


how educational thanks roxy! haha

is there a reason why my spring break is only a week?


----------



## Draik41895

im so happy


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

theres a drake and josh marathon on.....not that im complaining


----------



## slightlymad

that the people you hate the most are the most reliable?


----------



## Draik41895

that I am always hungry after i leave the food


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

last call is so early


----------



## slightlymad

That Saturdays are so short and Mondays so long


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why we have to wait around fo so long


----------



## RoxyBlue

The Bloodshed Brothers said:


> why we have to wait around fo so long


You mean, like, to get seated in a restaurant?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

RoxyBlue said:


> You mean, like, to get seated in a restaurant?


close we had to wait around for our reservation time and i was starving


----------



## monstermakerswife

The item you need is everywhere to be found before you need it but once you go to get it- nobody has it in stock


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I was given a school assignment two months ago and then proceeded to procrastinate until 4 days before it is due to get serious about it?


----------



## RoxyBlue

....the chocolate ice cream sodas Spooky1 makes always taste better than the ones I make even though we use the same ingredients (not that I'm complaining)?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

the deep fried ice cream at tortilla joes in downtown disney is sooooo amazing


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that old people with no job and no real place to go by any specific time insist on being on the road and/or in whatever store/restaurant you are trying to get to during your lunch time?


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that old people with no job and no real place to go by any specific time insist on being on the road and/or in whatever store/restaurant you are trying to get to during your lunch time?


LOL, we run into drivers like that on Saturdays around here.


----------



## Spooky1

... that when you decide to put something in a safe place so you won't lose it, you still end up forgetting where you put it months later.


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

it wont get hot here


----------



## Draik41895

nobodies here at night


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

people can live in such filth


----------



## Draik41895

bloodshed will be finding hairs in his shower for months


----------



## Monk

I always seem to wait until the very last minute to get anything done?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

Draik41895 said:


> bloodshed will be finding hairs in his shower for months


is there a reason why sadley draik is right

worst part is they arnt mine haha


----------



## Draik41895

some one would actually leave their hairs in the shower after moving


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why people would not only leave hairs but holes in the walls and dorrs and carpet that look like somebody died on it


----------



## Monk

why there is never anything I want to eat in my fridge?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why there is never anything in my fridge either.


someones out to get us monk


----------



## Monk

...why someone's out to get me?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that Monk and Bloodshed are paranoid?


----------



## Draik41895

that im paranoid too?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why im going to too look good in my new suit tomorrow


----------



## RoxyBlue

The Bloodshed Brothers said:


> why im going to too look good in my new suit tomorrow


Must have something to do with the starting material


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why roxy just made me blush


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

Why Bloodshed joined in Jan. and already has over 1,900 posts?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that so many people are so willing to throw others under the bus these days?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that we don't get to see Lady Nyxie on line nearly as much as we would like to?


----------



## Monk

why my computer at work will not allow me to view photobucket pics?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

Fiend4Halloween said:


> Why Bloodshed joined in Jan. and already has over 1,900 posts?


haha

why when im home i sit here refreshing the forum every 5 mintues


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

why receiving a bottle of latex in the mail, can bring so much happiness?!!


----------



## RoxyBlue

...someone can't invent a car with a rear-facing forcefield to keep tailgaters away?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why i miss playing left 4 dead so much


----------



## Draik41895

why i only have an old game boy advanced to play with


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why i only have myself to play with................


----------



## Monk

why you must insist on playing with yourself.


----------



## Draik41895

that every one left exept for monk


----------



## Monk

...why everyone leaves when I am around?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

i feel bad for monk


----------



## Monk

...the Bloodshed Brothers feel bad for me?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the Bloodshed Brothers feel bad for Monk?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

Monk said:


> ...the Bloodshed Brothers feel bad for me?


because you said everyone leaves when your around

is there a reason why no one picked up on that? lol


----------



## Monk

(Iknew the reason, I just needed an "is there a reason" question)


Is there a reason why Indian Casinos don't have Craps tables?


----------



## HauntDaddy

......We call it a napkin we dont sleep with it. Shouldn't it be a lapkin


----------



## Draik41895

that huantdaddys on to something there


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that the biggest snobs usually have nothing to be snobbish about?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

Monk said:


> (Iknew the reason, I just needed an "is there a reason" question)
> 
> Is there a reason why Indian Casinos don't have Craps tables?


is there a reason they onlynhave video roulette too


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that ticks exist?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

that the new HP6 trailer is so amazing


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

...that there aren't more horror/Halloween related events on the West Coast?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why i couldnt agree with fiend more


----------



## Monk

...why I'm still at work.


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why i have work early


----------



## Monk

why my $20 prop still isn't finished yet?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I wasn't bright enough to finish my degrees when I was young?


----------



## HalloweenGirl101

..that the best things happen the moment people put their cameras down?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the most gorgeous weather days always occur when I am stuck at work?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that you always seem to get a discount coupon for something the week after you buy it?


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

..that Sickie Ickie always scores the cool stuff??!


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I am always so exhausted.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that my neighbor has had the same laundry out on the clothes tree to dry for 4 days now? 

By now it has rained on it at least twice.


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Is there are reason that no one wants to play games with me today?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that perfectly good threads seem to die for a while, then suddenly resurrect?


----------



## rottincorps

....I can relax more at work rather than at home on my b-day


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that washing machine hoses have to burst (especially when you are away)?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that no matter how carefully I arrange things in the washing machine, it still goes off balance during the spin cycle and makes really scarey noises?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I seldom have the washing machine off balance issue that Roxy has?


----------



## Spooky1

... that my backyard in underwater, while PrettyGhouls well is dry? (must be global warming, it's the cause of everything)


----------



## RoxyBlue

...some folks just seem to make the same mistakes over and over again?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that every time you find a product that you love they stop making it?


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... that every time you find a product that you love they stop making it?


OMG, this happens to Spooky1 and me all the time at the grocery store we frequent. We thought it must be a conspiracy of some kind.


----------



## Spooky1

... some folks stop at a stoplight 3 car lengths back from the intersection?


----------



## Frankie-s Girl

Did we change the format in here?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that Frankie's Girl thinks we changed the format in here?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

RoxyBlue said:


> OMG, this happens to Spooky1 and me all the time at the grocery store we frequent. We thought it must be a conspiracy of some kind.


... that they stopped making Spatini spaghetti sauce mix? It was the best thing that ever happened to spaghetti.


----------



## Lauriebeast

Why I haven't read this entire thread until now? I've been LMAO through the whole thing.


----------



## Wyatt Furr

.......You can sit at home for weeks,then 3 people invite you out to three different events and you have to choose one, because they are all on the same night.


----------



## RoxyBlue

...you always seem to catch a cold or get a sore throat right before you have a very busy week?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that it is always arctic here at work because they crank the a/c up so high?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that many companies forget that happy employees are productive employees?


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

my grandpa wants to kill so many people?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I am so lazy today?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that someone would leave the office without making sure the door was properly secured?


----------



## rottincorps

....why there's always someone missing on the milk container you don't know


----------



## scareme

...that every time I feel like a raw open sore, my husband keeps poking it to see how much I can take. Doesn't he know I will kill him? Jeromy, can you introduce me to your grandpa?


----------



## RoxyBlue

..that so many extra letters end up in my posts when I type?


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

....that girls leave the bathroom door open when they pee??!! (lol, am I right??!!)


----------



## RoxyBlue

....that some folks just can't seem to admit it when they're wrong?


----------



## Mr_Chicken

...that Roxy has 11,943 posts in less than a year?


----------



## RoxyBlue

Mr_Chicken said:


> ...that Roxy has 11,943 posts in less than a year?


LOL, because I am a true and dedicated Ho!:googly:


----------



## Dark Angel 27

is there a reason why the people who edit movie content involving cuss words will allow the word B**** to scrape by but won't allow the word A$$ hole to be heard?

(was watching "Independance Day" on tv last night and noticed that)


----------



## RoxyBlue

,,,and along the same lines, that they remove the sound effects from the bean scene in "Blazing Saddles" when it's aired on TV?


----------



## The Archivist

Why doctors, who've supposedly had a lot of education, can't properly fill out a supply order form? (I used to work as a medical courier/stockroom)


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that Monday's come so quickly and last so long?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that some drivers don't seem to know where the turn lanes are?


----------



## rottincorps

why people rubber neck when they see a car crash


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that it is Monday... again?


----------



## rottincorps

......why some people want to eat right and exercise and leave a good looking corpse.


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

....that marijuana is not utilized to it's fullest extent and legalized EVERYWHERE?


----------



## rottincorps

we can't stop stupid people from breeding


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that there isn't a required test before breeding?


----------



## rottincorps

.....all teenagers think they know everything


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

....why professional athletes make so much money?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Fiend4Halloween said:


> ....why professional athletes make so much money?


... and then claim that they hardly earn anything and then years later end up having shamelessly squandered their money leaving them broke and doing infomercials? :googly:


----------



## rottincorps

....octa mom is so damn important


----------



## Dark Angel 27

......when your single, guys don't give you a second glance, but then when your 'taken' everybody want to 'talk' with you?


----------



## rottincorps

is there a reason that I'm still posting when i should be working on my new prop


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that I'm still posting on a work night when I should be getting to bed?


----------



## rottincorps

.....that all dogs bark at the mail man


----------



## Joiseygal

....why we have to pay so much to watch tv?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... and there is never anything on that expensive tv?

... that Joisey was up so late on a work night?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I haven't managed to become independently wealthy yet?


----------



## The Archivist

that I love hanging with you folks whom I've never met, but hate being forced to socialize at my own birthday party!


----------



## rottincorps

....why I stand in a line to go on a ride and spin around till I'm sick


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

...that Xmas stuff gets put out in stores several months before December, but Halloween items don't go out until September?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the entire world doesn't love Halloween like we do?


----------



## Decrepit Desecr8shun

...that carpet glue takes sooooo long 2 dry on a prop when it dry's overnight on carpet?


----------



## Decrepit Desecr8shun

Fiend4Halloween said:


> ...that Xmas stuff gets put out in stores several months before December, but Halloween items don't go out until September?


Don't even get me started...Christmas decor is on our shelves b4 or on the same day as halloween!!! GREEEEEEDYYYYY!!!!!!


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that there are so many sick people in hospitals?


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

....that my truck is 4 yrs old and it still costs $350 to renew my tags??!


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that threads sometimes languish for a while?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I can't afford to buy a house? 

Oh, yeah, that's right, there is... cause I can't stop buying Halloween props!


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

..people are totally against celebrating Halloween, but attend "Harvest Festivals" and still come dressed up in costumes, trick or treat for candy, and..well, do everything else pertaining to Halloween???!!!


----------



## RoxyBlue

...I'm sitting here posting instead of practicing my violin?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that when a lay off happens the people they should keep are the first to get the ax while the goof-offs somehow always manage to keep their jobs?


----------



## The Archivist

...why I get more injuries closer to halloween than any other time of the year?


----------



## Haunted Bayou

...why I never have money when I see a cool prop at the store?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that the trash pick up guys always seem to take longer when they've stopped the truck at a spot where you can't pass safely?

And along the same lines...

.....that the guy ahead of you who is driving 15 MPH below the speed limit in a double yellow line section of the road will always speed up when you get to a place where you could have passed him legally?


----------



## scareme

...all the Halloween decorations at the thrift stores are cute?


----------



## jaege

...the people that complain the loudest make the least sense.


----------



## morbidmike

....why most people in trailer parks are inbread


----------



## debbie5

...why stars fall down from the sky every time you walk by?


----------



## morbidmike

.....why they dont make imbalming fluid in better flavors???


----------



## morbidmike

....why nobody likes me ........Booo hoo hoo mmmmmy tears are salty


----------



## jaege

...That you need a liscence to catch a fish or own a dog but any knucklehead can have a kid


----------



## morbidmike

...why the breath mints in the urinals are so big????


----------



## The Creepster

why when people get startled they throw their arms up...


----------



## debbie5

...I always get a runny nose when there are no tissues in the house?


----------



## The Creepster

why onions do not make me cry?


----------



## morbidmike

why spider's like me for lunch


----------



## The Creepster

that you have to be nice


----------



## morbidmike

that eating a person is called canibilism but eating a animal is normal eating


----------



## debbie5

that it's always windy as hell in October??


----------



## morbidmike

I wann know that too!!!!???


----------



## The Creepster

Why you have to do test on that not paying attention when you drive is a bad idea


----------



## morbidmike

why chicken poop has a white dot on top of it???


----------



## nixie

why kids only ruin their good clothes?


----------



## The Creepster

good one.....

Twinkies have no self life


----------



## The Creepster

nixie said:


> why kids only ruin their good clothes?


you cheated


----------



## morbidmike

why it'slegal to sell corn,beets,and carrots that are not for human consumption but its illegal to bait wild life like the michigan snipe an illusive rodent


----------



## The Creepster

why do kids wear hats sideways? the whole purpose of a bill is to keep the sun out of your eyes


----------



## morbidmike

why does my instrument panel on my truck call my door ajar???


----------



## The Creepster

Why do people use the out of gas light as a gas gauge?


----------



## nixie

I cheated? 
...um, sorry.


----------



## The Creepster

nixie said:


> I cheated?
> ...um, sorry.


you better be.....


----------



## nixie

Why I never get time to play these games, and then I come over here to give it a try, I get acused of cheating? lol


----------



## The Creepster

Why its rude to laugh when someone falls down


----------



## jaege

Why the older the person is that falls down the funnier it is?


----------



## The Creepster

Indeed.....or falls multiple times....

Why do people still have alarms on their cars...no one cares other then to say "HEY SHUT THAT THING OFF"


----------



## debbie5

..one word: womenstaches?? BIG ones, e.g. Frida Kahlo...


----------



## The Creepster

Why do women laser their eyebrows...but the get tattooed ones?


----------



## debbie5

'Cause they are too lazy to get them done right the 1st time and pluck strays everyday. 

Thank you...Thank you......

Here for all your eyebrow needs....


----------



## morbidmike

why the flux capacitor stopped working in my truck it wont start without 1.121 jiggawatts


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that when windshield wipers get things stuck in them so they don't clear your windshield properly, it will always be in your line of vision?


----------



## morbidmike

.....why poloticians can be crooked and we have to uphold the law's governed by them!!!!!


----------



## The Creepster

why my cats breath smells like cat food


----------



## morbidmike

why do you french kiss your cats


----------



## The Creepster

why country music sucks so much


----------



## morbidmike

why boogers are usually green


----------



## The Creepster

Why people have to talk to you for no reason


----------



## morbidmike

why do people with colds wanna shake hands with you


----------



## The Creepster

Why people are so uptight


----------



## morbidmike

why your eyebrow hair only gets so long


----------



## The Creepster

my eyebrow hair is outta control...and I like IT

Why we need stitches when duct tape works better


----------



## morbidmike

no electrical tape

why my wife yell's get off the computer freak!!!


----------



## The Creepster

Why it snow's when the sun is out


----------



## morbidmike

why dogs sniff butts


----------



## Night Watchman

why we drive on Parkways and park on Driveways


----------



## The Creepster

Why they call them buildings if they are already built?


----------



## jaege

Why when women are cold they ask you to touch thier hands?


----------



## debbie5

Why when women are in a foul mood and warn people of this, no one listens? RUN FOR THE HILLS!


----------



## morbidmike

why womens feet are usually ice cold


----------



## Jack Reaper

...women shave off their eyebrows, and then paint them back on...


----------



## jaege

...young women put light streaks in thier hair and older ones take the natural light streaks out?


----------



## Jack Reaper

...men spend Billions on health clubs, and then buy an electric garage door opener...


----------



## debbie5

..black women want to be lighter and white women want to be darker?


----------



## morbidmike

why I can't gain weight??


----------



## Jack Reaper

...they put the python cages right next to the rat cages in pet stores....


----------



## morbidmike

thats for 1 stop shoping!!!!

why street traffic lights are never timmed right???


----------



## Jack Reaper

...why do dead people have the right of way....


----------



## jaege

...the first three letters of diet are D_I_E.


----------



## The Creepster

Why we are suppose to be nice to kids?


----------



## morbidmike

Why i'm so obnoxious


----------



## Jack Reaper

...Christmas is called the most wonderful time of the year?


----------



## morbidmike

....what you have against christmas you pagen


----------



## Jack Reaper

Is there a reason you misspell Pagan?


----------



## morbidmike

is there a reason you want to be the spell check man


----------



## Jack Reaper

is there a reason I need to be?


----------



## morbidmike

is there a reason Jacks nurses haven't noticed he's not in bed yet


----------



## rottincorps

....why the stores think there crap is worth 3 times a much as it was last year......


----------



## morbidmike

why haloween decorations only stay out for about 20 days in stores but christmas stays out forever


----------



## rottincorps

there showing the crapest movies on spike TV Steven seagal, what a hack


----------



## morbidmike

....Why you don't like Steven Segal??? he's awsome not as good as chuck norris


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that armchair athletes always know so much more than the coaches and players?


----------



## morbidmike

that Roxy mess's my post streak's??


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that starting a new roll of toilet paper without ripping up the first several sheets because of the way the first one is stuck on is almost impossible?


----------



## The Creepster

why coffee has become a shake?


----------



## Jack Reaper

...They cut down a tree to make.....a tree?


----------



## The Creepster

why trees cost so much


----------



## Spooky1

That I buy a camcorder and it already is having problems.


----------



## Jack Reaper

....broccoli is considered....healthy..


----------



## The Creepster

really good supply houses close too early


----------



## Jack Reaper

beer tastes so good but can only drink so much


----------



## The Creepster

why the faster the car the slower the brain


----------



## Jack Reaper

or the smaller the....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that some folks feel compelled to honk at a driver for not merging into a lane when there is absolutely no room for that driver to move into said lane?


----------



## The Creepster

Why I love Ball-peen hammers so much


----------



## Spooky1

... that someone would buy a sports car just to drive below the speed limit (I got behind a really slow Corvette today).


----------



## The Creepster

why people drive the wrong way in a parking lot isle, and try to park in a spot going the opposite direction


----------



## Jack Reaper

.....For red left turn signals in an area of great sight distance?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that so many people seem to have optional turn signals on their cars?


----------



## debbie5

That my neighbor, who can barely walk and will be 100 years old soon, thinks he's still okay to drive??


----------



## morbidmike

why you have to stick your tounge out while you hand sew???


----------



## debbie5

I don't sew my hand..I sew the fabric.


----------



## Spooky1

... that I have progressive lenses in my glasses, but still look over them to see something up close.


----------



## The Creepster

Why I cant carry a shovel everywhere


----------



## Jack Reaper

The Creepster said:


> Why I cant carry a shovel everywhere


Since when?

....Bottomless beer ....is


----------



## morbidmike

.......why beer tastes soooooooooo goood???


----------



## The Creepster

why I love to hate


----------



## morbidmike

answer you are evil

why I smell burnt flesh


----------



## jaege

Your nose is on fire?


----------



## The Creepster

Why people have to be so close in a line you can here their nose whistling


----------



## The Archivist

Why ask why?


----------



## DarkLore

....why toast always lands jelly side down?


----------



## The Archivist

Why do others have to dictate where I am not allowed to have fun? (reference Ghost Train)


----------



## Haunted Bayou

We only eat roasted turkey on Thanksgiving or Christmas?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...some folks seem to complain so much about what they don't have instead of enjoying what they do have?


----------



## The Archivist

Why is it so plainly obvious that the ONLY reason why humanity has survived this long is not because of intelligence or reasoning, but because of sheer numbers?!!


----------



## The Creepster

why peanut butter has no butter in it


----------



## Spooky1

... that road apples aren't apples?


----------



## morbidmike

......why cats are hard to clean outta ya fenderwells


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why people are so difficult


----------



## debbie5

Why the government doesn't just put Prozac in the water supply & make life WAY BETTER in the proces??


----------



## RoxyBlue

...dogs will swallow a large treat whole, but will daintily chew on a microscopic scrap of food you give them?


----------



## morbidmike

....people do not enter the highway off the access ramp at a decent speed you cant merge at 45 mph where people are doing 70


----------



## The Creepster

People are surprised when they try pet a wild animal and get beat-up


----------



## debbie5

...it's not okay to sell a body part for profit? I mean, MY body part, not one I dig up...heh heh heh....


----------



## morbidmike

..why ritlyn is bad for you


----------



## Draik41895

why people have to hit little baby rabbits on the side of the road?


----------



## debbie5

(because if you hit them IN the road, they would get squashed faster?? It's Darwinian evolution- the slow critters can't make it across't the road)


..why Google posted a map and somehow accidently flipped east/west; I only realized this after it took me 20 minutes longer to find my way through unfamiliar city today?


----------



## morbidmike

....Why stupid people are allowed to breed


----------



## The Creepster

Why you have to show pics of your kid...most people don't care, they just don't tell you


----------



## RoxyBlue

..why The Creepster is such a cranky guy?:googly:

I'll bet you're actually the sweetest man pushing a walker in the assisted living facility


----------



## mickkell

Why People Get On The Freeway At 40mph!!!!


----------



## mickkell

Why People Slow To 40 To Get Off The Freeway!!


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... why there isn't a required test before people breed?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

Is there a reason that it has been raining the past two weekends, but nice all week long?


----------



## The Creepster

RoxyBlue said:


> ..why The Creepster is such a cranky guy?:googly:
> 
> I'll bet you're actually the sweetest man pushing a walker in the assisted living facility


Only to a select few.......


----------



## morbidmike

why dont they have a stupid people hunting season


----------



## The Creepster

Why there isn't a "chuck a rock at someone day"


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that as you age your body has to wear out?


----------



## The Creepster

we have gravity


----------



## morbidmike

why I cant speak korean


----------



## debbie5

...why I have to sleep in order to function??


----------



## The Creepster

I like the sound of a metal file on bone


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

my feet are so cold


----------



## debbie5

...people don't Rsvp to parties and then just SHOW UP anyway? I so know this is gonna happen tomorrow....


----------



## Night Watchman

...that there is rain in the forecast for Halloween


----------



## The Creepster

Why Snow don't stay in Canada where it belongs


----------



## morbidmike

Why billy ray cyrus isn't doing as well as his daughter


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

why achy breaky heart isnt popular anymore


----------



## morbidmike

why the mullet went outta style


----------



## debbie5

why the mullet was never IN style??


----------



## Moon Dog

The Bloodshed Brothers said:


> why achy breaky heart isnt popular anymore


Why achy breaky heart popular at _ any_ point?


----------



## morbidmike

why are people facinated with billy ray??


----------



## debbie5

...why people think Miley can sing??


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

people think billy ray could dance


----------



## debbie5

..why people playing online games fall into 3 categories: nice & fair, selfish and only in it to win, or totally rude nutjobs??


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that work weeks are 5 days long while weekends are only 2 days long? Shouldn't it be the other way around?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why people spend so much money on a cell phone?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... why this many years later when the technology costs have come down so much the cell phone monthly prices are so high?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that people will stop in a lane of traffic to drop someone off instead of pulling into a nearby parking lot or side street?


----------



## Dark Star

.....dirty socks never quite make it to the hamper?


----------



## Haunted Bayou

It rains right after I get the carpet cleaned so my dog can run muddy paw prints all over it?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that the dryer always eats at least one sock per load?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that ticks were invented?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that snakes were invented?


----------



## The Creepster

why the mail man wont hug me


----------



## RoxyBlue

(he saw your crematorium)


....that even though I put a Hold Mail request in, the mail still gets delivered when we go away?


----------



## The Creepster

why going "postal" is bad?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that sometimes when you post on the last page of a thread, it isn't really the last page and your post makes no sense?


----------



## debbie5

...why Santa can't buy the gifts instead of me??


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that there are still people that send those faxes about the millions of dollars they want to invest in your country if you will just call and give them your bank account information?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

RoxyBlue said:


> ...that there are still people that send those faxes about the millions of dollars they want to invest in your country if you will just call and give them your bank account information?


... that there are still people who fall for this? :googly:


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that I can never get to bed at a decent hour?


----------



## debbie5

....that I have cobwebs on the ceiling?? What are the spiders eating?? Must be other spiders, as we don't have rotten bananas to generate fruitflies...


----------



## debbie5

PS- it's 1:31 am and I'm still up. Maybe we need to form a support group..LOL>


----------



## Lady Nyxie

I know there's a reason I don't stay up that late... I have to go to work every day and school on Saturdays.


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that early morning people are somehow considered more worthy by the business world than us late night people?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... that it is so easy to put weight on, but so difficult to take it off?


----------



## The Creepster

why elective surgery is a good idea


----------



## debbie5

...why people send Thanksgiving cards?? WHY!!??


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... why not everyone sends Thanksgiving cards? WHY!!??


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why no one has invented a transporter so we can get to Ohio without being in a car for seven hours tomorrow?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... why Roxy is going to Ohio tomorrow and not tonight?


----------



## Night Watchman

...I spend so much time on the Fun and Games section of this forum.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... why Roxy is going to Ohio tomorrow and not tonight?


Only crazy people try to drive out of the DC area the night before Thanksgiving, and I'm not that crazy yet. Really:googly:



Night Watchman said:


> ...I spend so much time on the Fun and Games section of this forum.


It's all the lovely company here - you find us irresistible


----------



## The Creepster

no matter how dumb a item is someone will buy it...and buy you one too


----------



## debbie5

(Roxy- go by plane! Flights arent' too bad this year).

Is there a reason why Fig Newtons are oddly yummy, even though they are kinda dry?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... people like fig newtons?


----------



## The Creepster

why they call them fig newtons...instead of what they really are..... plumbers putty


----------



## The Bloodshed Brothers

im so tired?


----------



## The Archivist

why people rush to the store to buy crap that they don't need and no one else wants?


----------



## debbie5

..why I LIKE fruitcake & no one else in the world does? (but only the Harry & David original fruitcake..other kinds are gross..)


----------



## Dark Star

Why are cashew pieces cheaper than whole cashews when they taste the same?


----------



## debbie5

...why I hope to see conjoined twins before I die??


----------



## RoxyBlue

....why Debbie5 is almost as off the wall as The Creepster sometimes?


----------



## debbie5

...why I didn't mention that I want to see elephants conjoined at the trunk as well ??


----------



## The Creepster

RoxyBlue said:


> ....why Debbie5 is almost as off the wall as The Creepster sometimes?


Why you think anyone could ever be at the same level as me...for I am Creepster and my powers are beyond your understanding:googly:


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why any man would think he's beyond a woman's understanding?:googly:


----------



## debbie5

(Creepster & I used to be conjoined fraternal twins. He got the brain, but *I* got the naughty bits.)

Is there a reason why I am the only one who washes and trims the dog??


----------



## RoxyBlue

....dogs have a knack for finding the stinkiest thing in the yard to roll in right after they've had a bath?


----------



## fick209

..all of the Christmas lights were working perfectly last year when you carefully took them down and placed in storage - Now only 1/2 of each strand works.


----------



## The Creepster

RoxyBlue said:


> ...why any man would think he's beyond a woman's understanding?:googly:


Yes but your are not suppose to let the rest of the gals know that



debbie5 said:


> (Creepster & I used to be conjoined fraternal twins. He got the brain, but *I* got the naughty bits.)


This is where "Idles hands are the devils playground" originated from lol:googly:

Why I enjoy rolling around in stinky stuff?


----------



## debbie5

..why I am the only one who gets stuck with bathing & trimming The Creepster?? (NO MORE BRAZILLIAN WAXES, YOUNG MAN!)


----------



## The Creepster

debbie5 said:


> ..why I am the only one who gets stuck with bathing & trimming The Creepster?? (NO MORE BRAZILLIAN WAXES, YOUNG MAN!)


you complain, when I charge anyone else to do so


----------



## debbie5

(LMAO...)

...why I have gotten run off the road twice in one season by people crossing the center line, probably TEXTING....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why squirrels change their minds about crossing roads when they're halfway across already?


----------



## debbie5

...why I need to think of stuff to cook for my family, when I'm in a not-eating-really much-of-anything mood?? (Well, I COULD use an apple fritter...)


----------



## The Creepster

why apples need to be frittered


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... why some creepy guy keeps following me around?


----------



## debbie5

....why he keeps wiping some drippy batter on my butt while trying to dip it in a vat of hot oil???


----------



## RoxyBlue

...this month is going by so fast?


----------



## The Creepster

Lady Nyxie said:


> ... why some creepy guy keeps following me around?


You like the attention



debbie5 said:


> ....why he keeps wiping some drippy batter on my butt while trying to dip it in a vat of hot oil???


Its breading...so your crunchy and seasoned properly we have gone over this before:googly::googly:


----------



## RoxyBlue

...The Creepster has lived to such a ripe old age?


----------



## debbie5

..the Creepster got kicked out of both the old folks home AND his tomb??


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... the Creepster is so tight-lipped with his real statistics?


----------



## The Creepster

Why all these great ladies are making my ego so big that I can't fit my head out the front door


----------



## morbidmike

.... why the creepster is expressing his nice side you just earned a swat on the nose with a rolled news paper


----------



## The Creepster

You catch more flies with honey......


----------



## scareme

...when I'm watching a show the kids have something they really need to tell me, but when the commercial is on they have nothing to say?


----------



## Moon Dog

Why when it's summer time, everyone drives like they have no place to go...

But throw down 14" of snow on top of ice and suddenly it's off to the races...


----------



## morbidmike

Moon Dog said:


> Why when it's summer time, everyone drives like they have no place to go...
> 
> But throw down 14" of snow on top of ice and suddenly it's off to the races...


rite on awsome statement !!!!

why people turn into jerks while Christmas shoping


----------



## debbie5

...why I am craving almond sugar cookies with frosting??


----------



## The Creepster

Why when I go to a mall everyone moves out of my way?


----------



## debbie5

(cuz it's called a MALL, not a MAUL...keep your hands to yerself! CREEPERrrrrrrrrr!!!)


----------



## debbie5

....why I can't just take my social security card & car full of gas & move to Mexico, where I will pretend I am a deaf mute and happily work as a motel maid the rest of my life??
I already have my NO HABLO ENGLISH placard for my chest made up...

(I think I need more Mt. Dew...)


----------



## morbidmike

why kids like me stay away from me lil rodents


----------



## The Creepster

Why no one enjoys curdled milk ?


----------



## nixie

Why I have the song from SNL's Sprockets skit stuck in my head?


----------



## The Creepster

Why Nixie wants to touch his monkey


----------



## morbidmike

why mens pants have zipper in the front that certain things can get caught in OUCH!!!!


----------



## The Creepster

Why zippers are a confusing contraption to some folks


----------



## scareme

...why drunks think they are sober enough to drive?


----------



## The Creepster

Why you can't drive bumper cars on the street


----------



## morbidmike

why taxies get mad when you run off in a drunken stuper and dont pay


----------



## The Creepster

Why you can't find good help these days


----------



## morbidmike

why people read self help books


----------



## The Creepster

Why I smell almonds


----------



## scareme

why my daughter is mad at me, again?


----------



## The Creepster

why we all can't get along


----------



## scareme

why I wasn't using birth control 21 years ago?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why anyone could get mad at Scareme?


----------



## scareme

why Roxy wouldn't want to adopt a 21 yr old with a major attitude?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why Scareme doesn't show that 21 year old with major attitude the door?


----------



## The Creepster

Why I am not scareme's daughter


----------



## Spooky1

... why Creepster is still kicking at the age of 96?


----------



## morbidmike

why spooky1 is 20 years younger than roxy


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why Morbid Mike's math is so bad?:googly:

And Cougars RULE!


----------



## morbidmike

....why Roxy posted a pic of herself dressed as an wild animal


----------



## RoxyBlue

morbid mike said:


> ....why Roxy posted a pic of herself dressed as an wild animal


LOL, and see how pretty I am, too:googly:


----------



## morbidmike

grrr baby grrr


----------



## The Creepster

I can't do the motor boat


----------



## morbidmike

....why I got kicked outta gymnastics


----------



## The Creepster

Why I like to sit in a wet park bench


----------



## morbidmike

why I crack the lids on all the pickle jars at the grocery store


----------



## The Creepster

Why a certain maid is teasing me so much


----------



## morbidmike

why even though I havent paid my maid she wont go away


----------



## The Creepster

Why cat food taste so familiar


----------



## The Archivist

why Creepster won't post his real age? Seriously, how many 96 year olds do you know that can do the things he can? Most, if not all, the ones I know of can't even figure out how to turn ON the computer!!


----------



## nixie

Why I'm all alone on the games tonight?


----------



## morbidmike

why nixie smells funny and nobody want's to play with her hahahahahah


----------



## The Creepster

Why I must not have access to dangerous chemicals


----------



## morbidmike

why the people in my sweat shop are revolting against me


----------



## The Creepster

Why its not consider polite to point out ones short comings


----------



## morbidmike

Why when the little person neighbor 4 house's down cut's his grass i cant stop watching


----------



## The Creepster

why you can't do what you see on cartoons


----------



## morbidmike

why I cant live in CO. and work for the creepster so we can have fist fights over the computer


----------



## The Creepster

Why the Ice taste funny on the street in front of my house


----------



## morbidmike

why when I get comfortable the dogs gotta go potty..


----------



## The Creepster

I like to use a metal file on my eyes


----------



## morbidmike

why I like to dig the sleepy's outta my eye's with a chain saw


----------



## The Creepster

Why toe jam taste nothing like other jams


----------



## morbidmike

why armpits always smell like onoins


----------



## RoxyBlue

...there are mailboxes at cemeteries?


----------



## The Creepster

why they have mirrors on vehicles when no one uses them


----------



## morbidmike

why a sticker on my lic plate on the truck costs 126 dollars seriously a 1x1 sticker costs that much to make???


----------



## The Creepster

Why its not neighborly to park on their lawn


----------



## morbidmike

why breakfast is not called morning fast


----------



## The Creepster

why the jet in my hot tub feels funny:googly:


----------



## morbidmike

why I 'm not leaving to got to Menards yet


----------



## The Creepster

why good grammar kept me from going to the thing there I was been too?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that folks get quite rowdy here on a Friday afternoon?:googly:


----------



## The Creepster

I can't get plated in 24k gold


----------



## morbidmike

why my brain is working so slowley this morning


----------



## The Creepster

why coffee taste like whiskey


----------



## morbidmike

why i cant be a prop maker in Cali


----------



## The Creepster

why you would want to live on the west coast?


----------



## morbidmike

why I have gas


----------



## The Creepster

Why the stars at night are big and bright


----------



## morbidmike

why people look at me funny when I tailgate them


----------



## The Creepster

Why I can't reach the remote


----------



## morbidmike

why there is nothing good on tv tonite


----------



## The Creepster

Why they don't re-enforce weight watchers floors


----------



## morbidmike

why people who are not blind don't watch their own weight


----------



## The Archivist

why the human body has so many problems when "certain" people say that we were made in "someone's" image. (makes me wonder...)


----------



## morbidmike

The Archivist said:


> why the human body has so many problems when "certain" people say that we were made in "someone's" image. (makes me wonder...)


yeah you should take a look at me eeeeew gross


----------



## The Archivist

Why my parents' swear the heat is on yet it's still fffrrreeezzzinnnngggg iiiiinnnn heeeeerrrrree?


----------



## morbidmike

why I'm not tired


----------



## The Creepster

Why I am so happy watching others suffer


----------



## morbidmike

why people falling in a parking lot is so funny


----------



## The Creepster

Why it feels good climbing a rope


----------



## morbidmike

why I fell of the ladder today


----------



## The Creepster

Why gravity does not like Mike


----------



## morbidmike

why the world is against me


----------



## The Creepster

Why theres such a thing as "Liquid Smoke"


----------



## morbidmike

why Jimmy Hoffa dosent return my text mesages


----------



## The Creepster

Why cheese in a can is a good idea?


----------



## morbidmike

why is American Idol still on tv


----------



## RoxyBlue

morbid mike said:


> why is American Idol still on tv


I'm with you on that one!


----------



## The Creepster

Why they don't bring back public executions


----------



## Moon Dog

Why we don't have public caning?


----------



## The Creepster

Why they wont let me run with scissors


----------



## morbidmike

why duckt tape dont stick to my eyeballs


----------



## The Creepster

Why open package of crackers taste like cabinet ?


----------



## DarkLore

Why jellied toast always lands on the floor...jellys side down?


----------



## morbidmike

why we had to evolve from monkeys I love monkeys and want to be one


----------



## The Creepster

Why my backside is red?


----------



## morbidmike

why people dont take me seriousley


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why Morbid Mike expects to be taken seriously


----------



## morbidmike

...why am I sensitive


----------



## The Creepster

wind blows


----------



## morbidmike

dogs fart all the time


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

...that mike always blames the dogs


----------



## debbie5

..why we are retro evolving, e.g. monkeys don't wipe, but WE do??


----------



## The Creepster

why someone is obsessed with poo:googly:


----------



## Moon Dog

That if we're supposed to be having global warming, why we are having record lows this winter


----------



## Spooky1

That Police cars never use turn signals. (really)


----------



## The Creepster

That living in sin is so much fun


----------



## morbidmike

why they tell me not to share sewing needles


----------



## The Creepster

fighting with a horse over a salt lick is not normal


----------



## scareme

that everything that taste good is high in calories?


----------



## debbie5

...I have girl cooties??


----------



## Moon Dog

why the week goes by so slow and weekends go by so quickly?


----------



## The Creepster

Why my shoulders are itchy


----------



## RoxyBlue

The Creepster said:


> Why my shoulders are itchy


It's those scented lotions you use


----------



## Moon Dog

why I can't remember things from five minutes ago but have full recollection of what happened five years ago?


----------



## scareme

that what ever line I get in at the checkout, it's always the slowest.


----------



## The Creepster

My lunch is talking back to me


----------



## morbidmike

why there are so many stupid drivers


----------



## The Creepster

why I don't just go and get it already


----------



## morbidmike

why Rob Zombie is an awsome movie maker


----------



## The Creepster

my pencil taste like cat food


----------



## morbidmike

why sherrie moon Zombie is not my wife


----------



## The Creepster

why Mike does not just buy her...shes pretty cheap


----------



## scareme

My kids just say "no" when I ask them to do something? I don't think "no" was ever an option with my parents.


----------



## morbidmike

why Scareme dont carry a big stick like Bufford T Pusser?


----------



## debbie5

...why the dog moans & cries if no one feeds him in the morning. Wimp!


----------



## morbidmike

why my garage wont stay spotless


----------



## The Archivist

Why I can't hold my attention long enough to clean my apartment but when someone mentions prop building, I can listen for hours?


----------



## morbidmike

why cupid shoots arrows and not poison tipped darts


----------



## The Creepster

Why they took off the original "American Gladiators"


----------



## The Archivist

why the censors bother with bleeping out the swear words and cutting out the violent/sexual scenes when anyone can just go rent the movie and see everything?


----------



## The Creepster

The gym rat neighbor, she won't leave me alone


----------



## morbidmike

cuse your gettin buff creep


why I cant walk on water


----------



## The Creepster

I am already buff..I think its cause she wants my wife Woohooo 

Why I can't find the video camera :googly:


----------



## The Archivist

Why can't I perform at-home personal liposuction with the vacuum cleaner?


----------



## morbidmike

why my wife forces me to drink beer


----------



## The Creepster

Why your not having a cup of pork coffee with that as well


----------



## morbidmike

why pork coffee tastes like jones soda


----------



## The Creepster

Theres a cracker in my meatloaf?


----------



## The Archivist

Mike, what is a jones soda? Is that a brand name?


Is there a reason why all little kids sound the same? (Loud, whiny, and annoying)


----------



## The Archivist

Is there a reason why all the great old time treats, such as Grape Nehi, Necco Wafers, etc. are no longer easy to find?


----------



## morbidmike

acrh-yes it's a brand name they make all kind's of flavors even some kinda meat


why biteing my toe nails is so much harder than my finger nails


----------



## The Creepster

Why Mike is repeating himself...himself


----------



## morbidmike

why creepster pay's close attention to posts


----------



## The Creepster

Why I got such a pinch on my hiney this morning


----------



## morbidmike

why you didnt like it ^^^^


----------



## The Creepster

Why Mike has a altar made of Spam in my image


----------



## morbidmike

why the sreepster hasnt sent me my mew tig welder he was going to buy me??


----------



## The Creepster

morbid mike said:


> why the sreepster hasnt sent me my mew tig welder he was going to buy me??


Next time I see sreepster I will ask him


----------



## morbidmike

why I cant spell


----------



## The Creepster

Why Mike is such a good sport...your great man


----------



## RoxyBlue

The Creepster said:


> Why Mike is such a good sport...your great man


I second that


----------



## morbidmike

why dogs are so whinney


----------



## Papa Bones

RoxyBlue said:


> ...someone would put up a sign at one of those earring stores saying "Ears Pierced While You Wait"?


lmao reminds me ITAR a tattoo place would put up a sign saying "financing available"? How do they repossess it if you don't pay?


----------



## The Creepster

why you never have heard of a bone saw...works well with repo jobs of that nature


----------



## morbidmike

why apple pie is not a national treasure


----------



## The Creepster

why no one wants to have a rock fight with me


----------



## morbidmike

why polar bears like doing the charleston and the cha cha cha???


----------



## The Archivist

why people automatically assume that when you talk about decorating for Halloween they immediately think Martha Stewart and Sunset Magazine?


----------



## morbidmike

why my wife made me pay 75 bucks for jeans with pre made holes in them???


----------



## The Archivist

Mike, I'd say take them back, go to K-mart or somewhere cheap then get out the angle grinder and sander...

Why there aren't stores out here that cater specifically to we home haunter's? (I'm getting the inkling of an idea for a business right now...)


----------



## The Creepster

Why chicken taste like chicken


----------



## morbidmike

why milk bones make my coat shiney


----------



## Haunted Bayou

why we should trust in Morbid Mike's selfritious suicide.


----------



## morbidmike

why you wouldnt


----------



## Evil Andrew

*Is there a reason....*

Why people with the worst music always seem to play it the loudest ?


----------



## morbidmike

why nail polish tastes worse than it smell's


----------



## debbie5

...why Mike finally corrected "righteous?"


----------



## The Creepster

why I have no more conquests


----------



## debbie5

..why I'm ovulating?? 

(LOL)


----------



## Moon Dog

why we needed to know that Debbie?


----------



## morbidmike

why my spell check is broken


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why one of the dogs here at work likes to lie under my chair with her head on the wheels so every time I move she leaps up as if she'd been scalded and then comes right back again?


----------



## debbie5

..why my beef stew doesn't taste as good if I double the recipe??


----------



## The Creepster

Why I can't find any bread with Jesus on it


----------



## morbidmike

why i'm so tired after working in a house with no heat


----------



## The Archivist

why isn't my brother here yet so I can give him the cardboard computer gag gift?


----------



## morbidmike

why solar system is just outta my reach


----------



## debbie5

...why I didn't go abroad in my 20's??


----------



## The Creepster

I am what I am


----------



## RoxyBlue

The Creepster said:


> I am what I am


It's 'cause you eat your spinach


----------



## GothicCandle

Is there a reason...my dog cries and whines for food she hates and when i give her some she refuses to eat it, and then goes back to begging for more?


----------



## The Creepster

Or too much protein....

Why when you loose something you need it right away..but then you find it and don't need it anymore


----------



## morbidmike

why pencils vanish with the help of gremlins


----------



## The Creepster

My house does not seem to grow


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the phone at work rings every ten minutes whenever you're trying to get something done on a deadline?


----------



## morbidmike

why people I work with are stupid and wont die without my help


----------



## The Creepster

why I must reload


----------



## debbie5

...why I cannot just suck the fat out of my ass? or my cow? or my chickens?


----------



## The Archivist

Why Debbie hasn't figured out how to supercharge the vacuum cleaner to suck the fat out of her ass, cow, or chickens?


----------



## morbidmike

why cheap toilet paper feel's like 40 grit sand paper no more roid's


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that people don't finish a task they were supposed to finish before going home for the day and then call you to ask you to take care of it for them?


----------



## morbidmike

why corn and peanut's dont digest


----------



## The Archivist

why I can't find a site that allows people to find free building materials without the need to register to their site and/or pay money to search their database?


----------



## morbidmike

why the maid wont clean my labor-a-tory


----------



## The Archivist

why when I log into Graveyard chat cause I see someone I wanna talk to they're not there when it loads?


----------



## morbidmike

why people log in to chat room's


----------



## morbidmike

why the creepster didnt show up yesterday


----------



## debbie5

...the elementary & middle schools smell so badly? Yig...


----------



## morbidmike

why I havent started playing with my new clay and sculpting tool's yet


----------



## STOLLOWEEN

why I've wasted my Saturday and not started my new projects


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why Stolloween has been playing the games a lot lately?


----------



## morbidmike

why I still havent played with my clay tool's


----------



## The Archivist

Why the beautiful women of Hauntforum all live out of state?


----------



## RoxyBlue

The Archivist said:


> Why the beautiful women of Hauntforum all live out of state?


----------



## Hauntiholik

Why The Archivist is still single with such a positive view of the opposite sex?


----------



## Hauntiholik

you keep making sexist remarks? Please stop TA. They are not funny and you've already been warned about this.


----------



## STOLLOWEEN

RoxyBlue said:


> ...why Stolloween has been playing the games a lot lately?


Is there a reason that I'm trying to achieve my post whore status?


----------



## morbidmike

who is haunti talking too???? hopefully not me


----------



## The Creepster

I can not get the light on the fridge to stop looking at me


----------



## morbidmike

why Taylor Swift is on the heavy metal satation


----------



## The Creepster

I have to obey rules


----------



## STOLLOWEEN

the weather forecast is always wrong?


----------



## The Creepster

My phone picks up signals from another planet


----------



## morbidmike

monkey's love me like a dad


----------



## RoxyBlue

...people think a low slung sporty car can actually make it through a foot of snow?


----------



## morbidmike

why roxy wished snow upon me


----------



## STOLLOWEEN

why I eat a bowl of oatmeal everyday for breakfast?


----------



## The Creepster

Why I love the smell of bleach


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that Morbid Mike doesn't like all that lovely snow I wished on him?


----------



## The Creepster

I am not allowed to wear my cape out in public


----------



## morbidmike

why my underware is missing


----------



## The Archivist

why the GITD paint glows purple under blacklight and not some other color?


----------



## The Creepster

Razors bring me pleasure


----------



## morbidmike

why it's hard to snort saltine cracker's


----------



## The Creepster

Why I cant live in a walk in closet


----------



## morbidmike

why I cant do oragomy


----------



## The Creepster

why shoes remind me of freedom


----------



## STOLLOWEEN

why 68 degrees in the winter feels cold and 68 degrees in the summer is still too warm?


----------



## morbidmike

why my wife's dragon keep's trying to light my house on fire


----------



## The Creepster

I get dizzy when I hold my breath


----------



## RoxyBlue

..it isn't spring yet?


----------



## The Archivist

why Valentine's Day generates so much hoopla, when if people are smart they would celebrate it all year long?


----------



## STOLLOWEEN

...why my kids seem to be incapable of washing any of their dishes?


----------



## The Creepster

why the beatings have not continued


----------



## morbidmike

why there is always tack's in my bed and rat poison on my night stand


----------



## Howlinmadjack

Why my dogs never miss the bags when I'm carrying in the groceries.


----------



## morbidmike

why my undies make a squishy noise when I sit down


----------



## fick209

...why everytime I log onto the forum lately, I get interrupted by something at work:googly:


----------



## morbidmike

why it's a bad I dea to grind metal tword you


----------



## The Creepster

I have no more bristles on my toothbrush


----------



## RoxyBlue

...Mother Nature is slacking off on melting all this snow


----------



## The Creepster

crokay mallets have so many uses


----------



## morbidmike

why there is a cow in my yard....no wait it's a moose with a tent what the hell!!!


----------



## The Creepster

morbid mike said:


> why there is a cow in my yard....no wait it's a moose with a tent what the hell!!!


You did not tell me sooner....was there a maid as well?


----------



## morbidmike

is she hott and sexy...... nope havent seen her!!!!why would I give her back she's chained to the washer and dryer it's for the aytomation patten I'm working self loading systems shhhh! dont tell anyone


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that Morbid Mike and Creepster have this thing about maids and mooses?


----------



## The Archivist

why it seems that Mike and Creepster seem to be the same person?


----------



## morbidmike

why nobody knows we are twin brothers


----------



## The Creepster

Why mom likes him best


----------



## Zurgh

...why they seem to exist in my head, as well as online.


----------



## morbidmike

why I dont have a pot big enough for a severed head to boil in


----------



## Howlinmadjack

Why every time I attempt to sculpt ears they come out like bacon pieces that sat in the pan too long


----------



## morbidmike

why I'm not having bacon right now


----------



## Howlinmadjack

The dogs wait until the rain is falling hardest to scratch at the door to go out and do their business.


----------



## morbidmike

why I typing on a turn of the century computer


----------



## The Creepster

Why my commodore 64 is not booting up


----------



## RoxyBlue

The Creepster said:


> Why my commodore 64 is not booting up


LOL, I think my mom still has one of those stashed away somewhere They're almost collectible now.


----------



## The Creepster

Why everything I own seems to be a "collectible"


----------



## morbidmike

why I'm collectible


----------



## STOLLOWEEN

Why all the music on the oldies station is the music I grew up with


----------



## morbidmike

why people that hate halloween have to exist


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why people that hate cats have to exist:googly::devil:


----------



## The Creepster

"You got a problem with cats?"...."I got something for you"


----------



## RoxyBlue

Awwww, look at those beautiful faces!


----------



## The Archivist

Creepster, they're cute!! Which one is which?

Is there a reason why my apartment manager won't let us have pets when he has several parrots in his apartment onsite?


----------



## morbidmike

why does the darker cat look so evil I like him why did I say that?


----------



## STOLLOWEEN

why I think those two cats are planning something evil?


----------



## The Creepster

The Archivist said:


> Creepster, they're cute!! Which one is which?


Bruno is on the left..and Lord Humongous is on the right

Why Fury..kitty number 3......is camera shy:googly:


----------



## NytDreams

Is there a reason why...I can't remember why I entered a room 5 seconds after I decided to go *into* that room for something?


----------



## Howlinmadjack

I make plans to do something outdoors and cancel it because of rain and we get three drops?


----------



## The Creepster

The mail man does not want to come to my tea party


----------



## STOLLOWEEN

Why they always forget the hot mustard with our Chinese Take-Out?


----------



## haunted canuck

why Canadian stores ar not the same as American stores even though they are the same name?


----------



## jaege

Sleep is so much better when you HAVE to get up the next day?


----------



## Goblin

People only buy milk and bread before a blizzard and nothing else?


----------



## morbidmike

why people wonder about so much stuff??


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the pharmacy uses childproof caps that even an adult can't open?


----------



## morbidmike

why I'm so happy all the time f#$* me


----------



## RoxyBlue

....people sometimes don't seem to pay attention to what's in front of their eyes?


----------



## The Creepster

Why powder coffee creamer is flammable


----------



## morbidmike

why it's a good Idea to wear underware while lighting farts


----------



## Goblin

why people wait till you're right on top of them before they pull out in the road?


----------



## morbidmike

why there isnt a law saying we can smash into said vehical's^^^^


----------



## jaege

why I don't have a laser in my car to disintegrate the other lunkhead drivers?


----------



## morbidmike

why I didnt think of that ^^^^


----------



## haunted canuck

That we dont drive bumper cars to eliminate the need to fix and repair cars


----------



## RoxyBlue

haunted canuck said:


> That we dont drive bumper cars to eliminate the need to fix and repair cars


Hmmm, that's not a bad idea


----------



## The Creepster

nothing seems to detour me


----------



## morbidmike

why that girl named minx is on youtube so much


----------



## The Creepster

Why anyone cares about personal opinions


----------



## morbidmike

why my boss wait's so late to text me about work


----------



## The Creepster

gasoline smells so good


----------



## morbidmike

why people scream when you cut them


----------



## The Creepster

you are supposed to stop at stop signs


----------



## morbidmike

why when you put your ear up to fick 209's ear you can hear the ocean lol


----------



## The Creepster

why holding kitty cats fix everything


----------



## The Archivist

Why I can't have a pet in my apartment but the manager can have one in his apartment?


----------



## The Creepster

why you have to drive on the right side of the road when the left side is much more challenging


----------



## Evil Andrew

why I can't take my half out of the middle ?


----------



## The Creepster

when I make eye contact.... it hurts


----------



## morbidmike

why because I have tatoo's people assume I have a Harley at home


----------



## The Creepster

Just because I can lift a house that I am going to help them lift their stuff


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the downstairs people come upstairs to use the bathroom and then leave the door shut after they leave so you think someone is still in there


----------



## The Creepster

my match sequential set of MK 23's are so much fun


----------



## Zurgh

... why I started yard work in the front, instead of in the back yard?


----------



## morbidmike

why it took me so long to learn how to drag a url


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that cars have to have computers which gives them one more thing that can go wrong?


----------



## Howlinmadjack

...Dogs can't seem to keep their noses out of each others butt's?


----------



## The Creepster

everything I see is funny


----------



## The Archivist

why humans think that they are the dominant species on Earth yet we are brought down by the most primitive viruses?


----------



## The Creepster

car alarms work so well


----------



## morbidmike

why lady bug's taste funny


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why Morbid Mike doesn't know that you need to dip the ladybugs into tempura batter and deep fry them before eating them?


----------



## morbidmike

why I did not have that recipe earlier


----------



## The Creepster

I have the best kitty cats in the world?


----------



## morbidmike

why squirles wait till you almost hit them to run


----------



## The Creepster

I care that your on fire and it hurts


----------



## morbidmike

why Bear Grillz drink's his own urine on some episodes


----------



## The Creepster

Why I have not seen that show....


----------



## morbidmike

why my boss has no work for me and that I'm not on unemployment yet hmmm is he telling me something make sure you check the news for Man used bosses corpse for halloween dispaly in his front yard it will be breaking news in Grand Rapids Michigan


----------



## The Creepster

I have all this disposable income?:googly:


----------



## morbidmike

why my wife say's she love's me but I think she released the maid outta the basement thats not love thats mean ....the news just posted a sighting of a maid riding a moose with a tent heades south tword Colorado ...I gotta go their trying to go back to the creepster dammit


----------



## The Creepster

Why theres peanut butter on my Mac book pro


----------



## RoxyBlue

...why The Creepster's cats did not take care of cleaning that peanut butter off his Mac book pro?


----------



## Evil Andrew

....why there wasn't any jelly ?


----------



## Howlinmadjack

...Why every time I have to catch a flight the freakin plane is always three hours late!!


----------



## The Creepster

I get drunk off of mouthwash


----------



## Evil Queen

for separating and folding laundry when the kids just stick it all in one drawer anyway?


----------



## Dark Star

the world has gone to drinking only bottled water?


----------



## Evil Queen

the ice maker has to make a mess at bedtime?


----------



## debbie5

...why some people/friends/aquaintances are getting meaner as they get older?


----------



## Goblin

everytime there's a big meteor shower it's cloudy or raining?


----------



## The Creepster

my socks have someone else name on them


----------



## Goblin

Why one size doesn't fit all?


----------



## The Creepster

I am all out of creatine....to the supplement store


----------



## The Archivist

why I get all sort of great ideas for the Games section when I'm away from my parent's internet connection?


----------



## Goblin

why it's sunny and warm while you're working and cold and rainy when you're off?


----------



## The Creepster

I can't see wind


----------



## Goblin

Spiders want to come in your house rather than stay otside
where they belong?


----------



## The Creepster

theres one random shoe in the road


----------



## Goblin

someone always calls you when you're in the middle of something


----------



## The Creepster

I feel like someones trying to take my onion powder


----------



## Goblin

bugs prefer to stay in your house rather than outside?


----------



## The Creepster

acid burps are very tasty


----------



## Evil Queen

why the jello pool is filled?


----------



## Goblin

it turns real warm for a couple of days then turns cold again


----------



## morbidmike

why different drywall mud tastes better than others


----------



## Goblin

Is there a reason why Mike's tasting drywall mud? lol


----------



## RoxyBlue

...people waste so much energy on getting revenge?


----------



## Goblin

Some dog owners don't their dogs pooping on everyone elses's lawn but their's


----------



## morbidmike

why this toaster wont quit following me it apperared on my door step and wont go away


----------



## Goblin

they flash a thunderstorm warning while the storm is raging outside


----------



## morbidmike

why this toaster is begging to sleep im my bed


----------



## Goblin

I'm not winning the lottery?


----------



## morbidmike

why I like to sing-a and dance-a


----------



## Goblin

Why dogs howl at the moon


----------



## morbidmike

why I cant quit talking to this toaster


----------



## Goblin

Halloween is just once a year?


----------



## morbidmike

why the toaster want's to move to minnesota to be a viking's fan


----------



## Goblin

remakes are never as good as the original


----------



## RoxyBlue

...people ride the brake when they drive?


----------



## The Creepster

why theres a speed limit


----------



## morbidmike

why my truck kicks outta gear at 100 mph


----------



## Goblin

Deer stand in you yard like they're daring you to come after them?


----------



## Evil Queen

You get a dr appointment for a specific time then the dr enters the exam room 45 minutes later?


----------



## The Creepster

I found a fruit roll-up from 1982


----------



## Goblin

People wait till you're right on top of them before they pull out in the road


----------



## morbidmike

why most hospital equipment is crappy


----------



## Goblin

Why they make you wait for hours in the emergency room


----------



## The Creepster

things always have a solution


----------



## Goblin

Some things don't have a solution


----------



## Monk

...people have to know the solution to everything


----------



## Evil Queen

the easiest explanation is usually the correct one?


----------



## morbidmike

why what your looking for is always in the last place you look


----------



## Evil Queen

why what you need is always out of reach?


----------



## Goblin

You can be first on the waiting list and still have to wait?


----------



## The Creepster

everything taste better with blood


----------



## Goblin

It always gets cold on your day off


----------



## Evil Queen

it's raining today?


----------



## Howlinmadjack

People go on vacation and spend the entire trip fighting?


----------



## Goblin

Someone sits behind you and honks when they know you can't go anywhere till the person in front of you does?


----------



## The Creepster

the house has not been cleaned


----------



## Goblin

Getting itches in places you can't reach


----------



## Evil Andrew

.... why I'm not at the Rockies / Padres game today ?


----------



## Goblin

the wether can't make up it's mind, warm or cold?


----------



## Evil Queen

cars don't fly?


----------



## Goblin

Flies love to bother you when you're sleeping?


----------



## morbidmike

why evil queen is a disney character


----------



## Goblin

Kids want you to play a game when you're bout to take a nap?


----------



## Evil Queen

kids lose clothes?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...folks think that clothing dropped in random locations in a house will magically make it to the laundry basket?


----------



## Evil Queen

cats insist on sharing your lap with your laptop?


----------



## The Creepster

why swingline has changed color


----------



## Dark Star

why I think Creepster is talking about a stapler


----------



## Evil Queen

why my truck needs to be cleaned again?


----------



## Dark Star

why you put off having your oil changed


----------



## Evil Queen

manufacturers always discontinue something you use everyday?


----------



## The Creepster

my can opener has formed a union


----------



## Dark Star

FB couldn't have been my idea?


----------



## Evil Queen

the cats are conspiring with the dogs?


----------



## The Creepster

why DS can't keep up


----------



## Evil Queen

the last 99 seem to go by so slowly?


----------



## The Creepster

DS has not put more duct tape on her puter


----------



## Evil Queen

Creepster is playing games and not pumping iron?


----------



## The Creepster

cause I have to wait for my supplements to kick in

why its taking forever this morning


----------



## Evil Queen

all good things must come to an end?


----------



## Goblin

It feels cold at 73 degrees?


----------



## Hauntiholik

the best weather happens when I'm stuck inside?


----------



## Goblin

When you're what???????????

All the other fingers get in the way when I typing?


----------



## Hauntiholik

Goblin said:


> All the other fingers get in the way when* I *typing?


people are critical of others when they can't type either


----------



## Goblin

everyone isn't as smart as me?


----------



## Hauntiholik

pizza tastes good initially but haunts you later?


----------



## Goblin

why they call it heartburn when it's in your stomach


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the amount of time a shopping trip to the grocery store lasts is directly proportional to the amount of cold items you have in your basket?


----------



## Goblin

One size does not fit all?


----------



## Evil Queen

people always have to talk about their health problems?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...my boss will talk on his cell phone while he's using the toilet?


----------



## Evil Queen

women have to put on makeup while driving?


----------



## The Creepster

My shirt is tight.....


----------



## RoxyBlue

The Creepster said:


> My shirt is tight.....


Could that maybe be the result of dedication to pumping iron?


----------



## The Creepster

RoxyBlue said:


> Could that maybe be the result of dedication to pumping iron?


How else am I going to keep you interested Roxy....WOOF!!!!!

Why no matter how much I want to be mean Roxy does not let me


----------



## Dark Star

Is more than 12 or so women enough? LOL


----------



## Evil Queen

why Creepster thinks he's so mean?


----------



## The Creepster

Dark Star said:


> Is more than 12 or so women enough? LOL


No way thats just enough:googly:



Evil Queen said:


> why Creepster thinks he's so mean?


I am you just don't see it

Why its taking forever


----------



## Dark Star

why when in chat no one chats?


----------



## Evil Queen

why people are impatient?


----------



## The Creepster

why I can't find my other shoe


----------



## Dark Star

why good stuff is bad for you


----------



## The Creepster

Why I can not stop


----------



## Dark Star

why these silly games are fun


----------



## Goblin

why soooooooooooo many people want to post last


----------



## morbidmike

why I'm hungry again?


----------



## Goblin

some neighbors can't seem to mind their own business


----------



## Howlinmadjack

Why I park my car far away from all the other cars, and some idiot always parks next to me.


----------



## Goblin

The store never restocks when it's triple coupon day


----------



## Evil Queen

why some people can't take a hint?


----------



## Hauntiholik

people stop at green lights?


----------



## The Creepster

people think they can escape the enviable


----------



## Goblin

Some people have no concept of the word friend


----------



## Evil Andrew

.....why people keep honking at me ?


----------



## Goblin

Some people want you to go somewhere you really don't want to go


----------



## morbidmike

why they dont have rubber band flavored gum


----------



## The Creepster

I have a extra finger in my jacket


----------



## Dark Star

No one cares if speeding is breaking the law


----------



## morbidmike

why DS is talking like Barney Fife


----------



## Evil Queen

groceries are so expensive


----------



## RoxyBlue

...drivers think they are invisible when they pick their noses in their cars at intersections?


----------



## Goblin

People think blowing their horn will make the drive-thru move any quicker?


----------



## morbidmike

why my PJ's are missing


----------



## SPOOKY J

why walmart has 50 checkout lanes and only 4 cashiers?


----------



## Dark Star

why Walmart only hires cashiers that move slower than slow.


----------



## Evil Queen

Cadillacs, that are supposed to be luxury cars, are so darned uncomfortable to drive?


----------



## The Creepster

why I laugh when I see a neighbor gets beat-up by his ol lady


----------



## Goblin

Grocery stores never restock on triple coupon day


----------



## Dark Star

why you never remember your list or coupons when you leave for the grocery store.


----------



## Zurgh

why my back slightly hurts?


----------



## Evil Queen

I can't feel my feet?


----------



## Dark Star

french fries have to be so yummy


----------



## Evil Queen

No one shows up unexpected when the house is clean?


----------



## Goblin

It stays warm all day and cold at night?


----------



## morbidmike

why 10 yr old girls stay up all night and make so much noise


----------



## Evil Queen

There are only 2 days for a weekend?


----------



## morbidmike

why it comes at the end of the week


----------



## Dark Star

Why weekend days go by faster weekday days?


----------



## Goblin

Why Halloween and Christmas stuff are always on sale at the same time?


----------



## The Creepster

Theres all this lint in my ear


----------



## Goblin

Some people want to do away with Halloween


----------



## The Creepster

I have these MIGHTY hands


----------



## Goblin

Some frozn dinners don't look as good as they do on the box


----------



## Evil Queen

popping bubble wrap is fun?


----------



## The Creepster

super glue is really not that super...it can't fly or stop a speeding bullet


----------



## Evil Queen

men don't like to dance


----------



## Goblin

people feel the need to talk on the cell phone when they should be concentrating
on their driving


----------



## Evil Andrew

girls always want to dance ?


----------



## Goblin

Cats always want what YOU'RE eating


----------



## The Creepster

getting hit with metal hurts


----------



## Goblin

They always test the warning signal on tv late at night?


----------



## Dark Star

Paris in the springtime is suppose to be better than Paris int he fall?


----------



## The Creepster

Why my keys are in the kitty cats food


----------



## Evil Queen

I haven't won the lottery?


----------



## The Creepster

I have not checked my tickets to see If I won


----------



## Evil Queen

I keep putting off making aprons?


----------



## The Creepster

Theres a mysterious van parked across the street for days now


----------



## Evil Queen

someone left a note on my travel trailer wanting to buy it?


----------



## morbidmike

why EQ didnt call the number I left on the travel trailer


----------



## Goblin

Why it's Spring and we're having a frost warning tonight


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the weather is lovely during the work week and then goes bad over the weekend?


----------



## Goblin

People will drive so close on your bumper, yet it's not their fault if they rear end you


----------



## The Creepster

a pay phone taste funny


----------



## Evil Queen

dust bunnies have a better sex life than most people?


----------



## The Creepster

Couch pizza is really good for you


----------



## Goblin

Your sooooo thirsty when you're sick


----------



## Evil Queen

It was 80 degrees yesterday and will only be 60 degrees tomorrow?


----------



## Goblin

dogs wait till late night to start howling


----------



## The Creepster

theres a cat on my head


----------



## Goblin

Cats want to sleep on the printer


----------



## The Creepster

my washing machine is talking to me instead of washing


----------



## Evil Queen

I'm locked in this cage?


----------



## Goblin

Dogs always want to chase cats


----------



## Evil Queen

I can manage to get up on time?


----------



## The Creepster

eye lids are missing


----------



## Evil Queen

it's so freakin hot in here?


----------



## Goblin

Why Congress puts themselves first and the people last?


----------



## The Creepster

drinking out of the toilet is soooo appealing


----------



## Goblin

It can't make up it's mind.....rain or shine


----------



## Evil Queen

socks always disappear?


----------



## SPOOKY J

picture frames cost so much?


----------



## The Creepster

Theres no more soup


----------



## RoxyBlue

...someone keeps stealing The Creepster's soup and tents and maids?


----------



## debbie5

...if you do something selfless like having a baby, you are rewarded with a post-baby wacked out body?


----------



## Goblin

People will tell you sodas are bad for you but alcohol isn't


----------



## Evil Andrew

...people always offer me alcohol instead of sodas ?


----------



## morbidmike

why people offer me soda instead of beer?


----------



## The Creepster

Why it hurts the more I pull on this wound?


----------



## Evil Queen

People insist on messing with wounds?


----------



## Goblin

They wait till the store is full of customers to restock the shelves


----------



## The Creepster

Why putting metal in the microwave is so much fun


----------



## Goblin

Everytime you go to mow the grass it starts raining?


----------



## Dark Star

people can't wash their hands after using the bathroom


----------



## Goblin

The grocery stores don't have a larger selection of sugar free products?


----------



## Evil Queen

weeping willows don't weep?


----------



## Goblin

There's always something new that has to be fixed?


----------



## Evil Queen

brains only come in one color?


----------



## Dark Star

Halloween comes once a year?


----------



## Goblin

People want to change the day Halloween falls on


----------



## The Creepster

My feet are so sweet smelling


----------



## RoxyBlue

...The Creepster wants to wear Haunti's new shoes?


----------



## The Creepster

I have to steal her shoes, that she won't just give them to me


----------



## Goblin

Cloudy all day and it starts raining when you go out


----------



## Evil Queen

the sun has to be soooo bright?


----------



## Goblin

Soooooooooo many cops were inside and outside Krogers


----------



## The Creepster

I am so good at evading capture


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the bank teller takes so long to deposit a single check?


----------



## Goblin

^Why they take so long to cash one?


----------



## RoxyBlue

....people seem to think that turn signals are optional?


----------



## Goblin

.......some people give the turn signal AFTER they've made the turn


----------



## Dark Star

....they have roads closed for construction, yet none is visible?


----------



## Goblin

They have so few of the items they have on sale?


----------



## morbidmike

why Dark Star is lurking


----------



## Goblin

it seems colder on weekends than during the workweek?


----------



## Wyatt Furr

.......why the weather sucks on the weekend, yet is just beautiful when you have to work.


----------



## Goblin

You never seem to be able to make the deductible


----------



## Evil Andrew

--- why the lawn sprinkler sytem was fine in the fall, but needed a full days worth of repairs now ?


----------



## Goblin

Why you put holiday in the box neatly but come out all tangled up?


----------



## nixie

...Why I can't think of anything to type?


----------



## Goblin

The later it gets the more they want to chat?


----------



## Dark Star

......cards are so expensive


----------



## Goblin

Someone wants to go somewhere when you don't


----------



## Evil Queen

There's never any milk when I want cereal?


----------



## Goblin

Everything seems to happen at the same time


----------



## Evil Queen

Mortuaries get away with charging exorbitant amounts of money?


----------



## Goblin

AMC will show the same movie 3 or 4 times a day?


----------



## The Creepster

I laugh at most tragedies?


----------



## Evil Andrew

.... no matter where you go , there you are ?


----------



## Goblin

Someone blames everyone else for his dog gets picked up when they were
warned by the city four times?


----------



## morbidmike

why I bleed blue


----------



## The Creepster

I like to eat tape


----------



## Evil Andrew

...why the tape passes right through in one long piece


----------



## morbidmike

why chewing on roofing nails is bad


----------



## The Creepster

there are free mints in a urinal


----------



## Goblin

They something sells for a Popular price


----------



## morbidmike

that the fat sharpie marker's dont taste as good as they smell


----------



## The Creepster

you can't run into a store and yell for no point


----------



## RoxyBlue

...The Creepster keeps yelling in the stores at the mall?


----------



## Goblin

They always do road construction on the really hot days?


----------



## The Creepster

Roxy won't leave Spooky for me and my KITTY CATS:googly: Ok Spooky can come too


----------



## RoxyBlue

...The Creepster remains ever hopeful?


----------



## The Creepster

Knowing that Roxy is outta my league so I don't have to buy more rope and duct tape LMAO


----------



## Spooky1

... I keep wondering if Creepster is creeping around in my backyard?


----------



## The Creepster

why you should not pay attention to that shrub that seems to be walking across the yard


----------



## Spooky1

... that there's a shrub in my backyard that screams when I trim it?


----------



## Goblin

The government comes up with so many different explanations to cover up
the crash at Rozwell?


----------



## The Creepster

conspiracies are so mysterious


----------



## Goblin

Someone waits till you're right on top of them before they pull out in the road?


----------



## morbidmike

with all the bazillions of money spent on finding cures for things we still have sick people


----------



## Goblin

My sinus's bother me so bad when it rains?


----------



## morbidmike

why I never grew up


----------



## Goblin

The more I eat the hungrier I am


----------



## Evil Andrew

The more either of us drink, the better looking I get ?


----------



## badger

why I'm still awake...?


----------



## PirateLady

Why I am sitting here at the computer?


----------



## morbidmike

why they have a fat lady sing at the end of a OPERA


----------



## Goblin

There are no more variety shows?


----------



## badger

Why people are so obsessed with celebrities?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...I always seem to have so much to do right before a three day weekend?


----------



## Goblin

People want to bother you when your sick?


----------



## morbidmike

why fabric is so expensive?


----------



## Goblin

There's always a crucial part missing when you buy something


----------



## Evil Andrew

There's always a crucial part missing when I return something : )


----------



## morbidmike

why my shower pours out blood


----------



## Toktorill

... why cats want to bury their poop. Seriously.


----------



## Goblin

prices go up faster than your pay does?


----------



## PirateLady

people think not telling you something is better than telling you?


----------



## Evil Andrew

... Why the TSA takes away your nail trimmer, and the you get on your Lufthansa flight and they give you a metal knife, fork and spoon with your meal ?


----------



## Goblin

The forum keeps crashing more than an airplane? lol


----------



## PirateLady

why I can't find cheap buttons?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...thunderstorms have to come through the area right before it's time to take the dog for a walk?


----------



## PirateLady

why it couldn't have rained all day?


----------



## Goblin

As soon as you get one thing fixed something else breaks down?


----------



## Luigi Bored

why McDonalds doesn't sell hot dogs?


----------



## Goblin

Why everything goes up except your pay


----------



## morbidmike

why the red isnt red at all


----------



## Luigi Bored

Why the numbers on a calculator and a phone are reversed?


----------



## Goblin

All the old tv shows are better than the new ones?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...Goblin is still living in the past?:googly:


----------



## Luigi Bored

Why woodpeckers don't get headaches from slamming their head on a tree all day?


----------



## Goblin

Why dogs chase cars?


----------



## debbie5

why I have more food in my keyboard than in my pantry??


----------



## nixie

Why I have more recycling piled-up in my pantry than food?


----------



## Goblin

The internet people never warn you ahead of time about scheduled maintenance?


----------



## badger

Why we can't celebrate Halloween more than once a year?


----------



## Goblin

Why cable companies can't let you know the internet service is down in your area


----------



## badger

Why I can't stop munching on these bacon-flavored peanuts...?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...people don't see what's directly in front of their eyes?


----------



## PirateLady

why rabbits love whatever i put in my garden it doesn't matter what it is they will eat it.....


----------



## Luigi Bored

why they can't make comfy desk chairs?


----------



## morbidmike

why Luigi dosent look at the Herman Miller catalog for desk chairs


----------



## Goblin

Why someone would get a third dog when they don't take care of the two they got?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason why all the road construction project don't get started till fall, and they pour concrete when it will freeze ?


----------



## Goblin

People wait to the hottest part of the day to mow their grass


----------



## Evil Andrew

....why Ferris Bueller is still funny after all these years ?


----------



## morbidmike

why dont begging strips taste like real bacon


----------



## Evil Queen

4 year olds never shut up?


----------



## Goblin

The internet is down all day then comes back on for a couple of hours
at 5 am?


----------



## Evil Andrew

morbid mike said:


> why dont begging strips taste like real bacon


... why MM steals snacks from the dogs ?


----------



## Luigi Bored

morbid mike said:


> why Luigi dosent look at the Herman Miller catalog for desk chairs


_Is There a reason _I have never heard of this Herman Miller before? _(thanks morbidmike!)_


----------



## Evil Andrew

....why Herman Munster doesn't have a catalog ?


----------



## Goblin

Evil Andrew said Herman Munster instead of Herman Miller?


----------



## morbidmike

why some people have to point out the obvious ? hahahaha


----------



## Goblin

Why auto repair bills cost so much?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Why Goblin doesn't get a new Explorer ?


----------



## Goblin

Evil Andrew said:


> Why Goblin doesn't get a new Explorer ?


Do you trade cars everytime you have a repair bill?

Is there a reason it's still in Autumn?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Goblin said:


> Do you trade cars everytime you have a repair bill?


Is there a reason it would be better if I waited till the wheels fell off ? : )


----------



## Goblin

Evil Andrew said:


> Is there a reason it would be better if I waited till the wheels fell off ? : )


Is there a reason why they wouldn't if you take care of it?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Screws fall out all the time - the world is an imperfect place...

Is there a reason why provolone cheese always comes in a circle?


----------



## Goblin

Is there a reason why it's raining for the past two days?


----------



## morbidmike

is there a reason why you asked that question ?


----------



## debbie5

is there a reason why i screwed up all my shrunken heads and am now really dejected?


----------



## Goblin

Why we had 2 rainy days, then 1 sunny day, and now we're back to rainy?


----------



## morbidmike

why your complaining about the rain mother nature has bestowed upon you?


----------



## Goblin

Why she's giving us about 5 states worth of rain?


----------



## morbidmike

why cant you accept the fact she loves you?


----------



## Goblin

She shows "her love" by trying drown everybody?


----------



## Evil Andrew

... why She shouldn't wipe the slate clean , now and then ?


----------



## Goblin

Is there any reason why she should?


----------



## badger

Is there a reason you prefer drought...?


----------



## Goblin

Is there a reason you think I do?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Why not have some nice draught, instead of a drought ?


----------



## morbidmike

there is a white speck on top of chicken poo


----------



## Goblin

Morbid Mike is looking at chicken poop so closely?


----------



## morbidmike

why gun slingers are not as popular as they once were


----------



## Goblin

Why people are slinging guns instead of shooting them?


----------



## morbidmike

why you have to have a below average IQ to be a politician


----------



## Evil Andrew

...why we keep electing them?


----------



## Goblin

Why everyone votes for them then complains about the
job they're doing?


----------



## Evil Andrew

....why the little dog barks more than the big one ?


----------



## Goblin

Animals get along better than people?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason why each thing I do , I rush through, so I can do something else ?


----------



## debbie5

Underwear is not funtawear?


----------



## Goblin

Congress will turn down a raise for everyone but themselves?


----------



## Evil Andrew

...why Goblin doesn't run for office ? He'd get my vote.


----------



## Goblin

Evil Andrew said:


> ...why Goblin doesn't run for office ? He'd get my vote.


Too much stress for my heart. lol

AMC will show the same movie 4 and 5 times a day?


----------



## Evil Andrew

....why piano strings last decades, but guitar strings last only months ?


----------



## Goblin

Why Evil Andrew doesn't use piano strings on his guitar?


----------



## Evil Andrew

....why the people with the worst music play it the loudest ?


----------



## Goblin

Why dogs chase cars?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Why cars don't chase dogs ?


----------



## Goblin

There are soooo many zombies in the movies if they eat their victims?


----------



## Evil Andrew

...we can't keep Zombies as pets ?


----------



## Goblin

Why politicians are all in agreement ONLY when they vote themseleves a raise?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason why with control of 239 seats in the House there won't be agreement ?


----------



## Goblin

Halloween goes by so quickly?


----------



## Evil Andrew

And putting away props takes so long ?


----------



## Goblin

Why it's easier to get Medicare than it was Medicaid


----------



## Evil Andrew

Why Vigo is Carpathian ?


----------



## debbie5

...why nookie makes men so happy?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Yes : )

...why it's so hard to get ?


----------



## debbie5

...why men don't resort to just being nice?


----------



## Goblin

The weatherman says "a slight chance of rain" it always pours?


----------



## Evil Andrew

...why can't we be friends ?


----------



## debbie5

..the weatherman tells us how many inches we are gonna get, and it's always an exaggeration??


----------



## Spooky1

.... we don't go to the metric system?


----------



## Goblin

Is there a reason why we should?


----------



## rottincorps

believe anything that any politician says .....come on really?


----------



## Goblin

People redesign their websites once you get familar with it?


----------



## debbie5

..why we have to wait 30 seconds between posts now??


----------



## Goblin

Why people feel the need to talk on cellphones while driving?


----------



## debbie5

...why there needs to be people?


----------



## Evil Andrew

....why doors have peepholes ?


----------



## Goblin

They stage test warnings on tv at 3 am?


----------



## Evil Andrew

...who Goblin falls asleep in front of the TV ?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...feet can be different sizes on the same person?


----------



## debbie5

...why before my own eyezez, I see my thighsez are different sizes, no matter how much I trizez and exercizes?? Must be too many Mc Donald's frizez....


----------



## debbie5

(I crizez).


----------



## Goblin

Why Debbie is double posting?


----------



## debbie5

...why men have nipples?


----------



## Evil Andrew

...why you ask ?

Amazon.com: Why Do Men Have Nipples? Hundreds of Questions You'd Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini (9781400082315): Mark Leyner, Billy Goldberg: [email protected]@[email protected]@http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/[email protected]@[email protected]@51VG2P9BY3L


----------



## debbie5

...why Jesus likes me best?


----------



## Goblin

debbie5 said:


> ...why Jesus thinks I'm a pest?


Why you would think such a thing?


----------



## Evil Andrew

debbie5 said:


> ...why Jesus likes me best?


Heh heh - Debbie the Chosen One ?


----------



## debbie5

Is there a reason why we ask why?


----------



## Goblin

Is there any reason WHY we shouldn't ask WHY?


----------



## debbie5

...why ?


----------



## Evil Andrew

What ?


----------



## debbie5

Huh?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is that it ?


----------



## debbie5

is there a reason why I should LOOK?


----------



## Goblin

Is there a reason why you shouldn't?


----------



## debbie5

Do I look like a pillar of salt??


----------



## Evil Andrew

Heh heh. So is there a reason to think that Goblin is from Gomorrah ?


----------



## debbie5

perhaps Sodom?? hehehheeh...


----------



## Goblin

I'm being compared to amateurs?


----------



## debbie5

is there a reason Goblin has a gender neutral name?


----------



## autumnghost

Is there a reason why I'm hanging about here and not doing the dishes?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason not to have a piece of pie ?


----------



## debbie5

Is there a reason why pie doesn't last 12 hours in my house??


----------



## Goblin

Why my neighbor is riding a motorbike in his yard at 2 am?


----------



## debbie5

...why the newspaper guy drives up my street the wrong way (so he can throw the papers out of the car) AND has no mufffler on his car, so he wakes me up EVERY DAY at 4:30 a.m.!!?? F er.


----------



## Evil Andrew

...why Goblin doesn't take a six pack over to the neighbors at 2 am and go for a ride ?


----------



## debbie5

LOL...why Evil Andrew isn't "Andy"?


----------



## Goblin

debbie5 said:


> LOL...why Evil Andrew isn't "Andy"?


Evil Andy.......I like it.

Is there a reason why we can't change it for him?


----------



## debbie5

^is there a reason why we can't just call him Spinky?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason why not, along as you don't call me late for dinner


----------



## Goblin

Is there a reason Spinky's late for dinner?


----------



## debbie5

Is there a reason he missed Last's supper??


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason you dont make more pie?


----------



## Goblin

Evil Andrew said:


> Is there a reason you dont make more pie?


Is there a reason Evil Andrew wants a More pie?


----------



## debbie5

Is there a reason why men always prefer pie over cake?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason why I can't find a YouTube video of Little Feat playin _Kokomo_ ?


----------



## Goblin

Why the city is tearing up our road again?


----------



## debbie5

Is there a reason why you think your city deserves to tell you ANYTHING about road work your taxes have funded?


----------



## Goblin

Is there any reason why I shouldn't?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason why the Rapanui made all those Moai ?


----------



## debbie5

Cuz they didn't have enough and wanted some Moai?


----------



## Goblin

People always gather in the aisles to talk?


----------



## debbie5

..kids alwaya walk down the center of the road, and refuse to move?


----------



## RoxyBlue

....people think it's okay to play the TV set really loud late at night in a hospital?


----------



## debbie5

(I have no idea why they don't give patients earplugs!)


----------



## Goblin

Santa picked the North Pole to live?


----------



## debbie5

...why my dog is so lazy, but runs around like a happy maniac outside, where it's freezing cold??


----------



## Goblin

Why Debbie doesn't run around in the freezing cold with her maniac dog?


----------



## autumnghost

why my body turned to crap after I turned 40-ish.


----------



## debbie5

Welcome to my world, autumnghost. Flubbityflubbityflub. Here, have a cookie.

Is there a reason why I have to BEG my doctor for antibiotics every time I am sick? I have never had "just a virus"..it always turns into something needing meds. So, each time, I have to go back a second time to get meds, pay a second co-pay. It's pissing me off mightily. I don't have TIME to be sick and not up to par for weeks while he assumes I have a virus. BOOB!


----------



## Goblin

Everyone gets sick right before the holidays?


----------



## debbie5

...I hate people?


----------



## Evil Andrew

.....why I never seem to get sick ?


----------



## scareme

The dog started barking at 12:30? Is somebody out there?


----------



## Goblin

It clouds up everytime I start working outside?


----------



## debbie5

...my hair is both curly & flat at the same time?


----------



## debbie5

...cotton candy tastes WAY better than brown rice?


----------



## autumnghost

the hawk I was trying to get a picture of flew away just before I snapped the picture.


----------



## Evil Andrew

...every hair that falls out from my head seems to sprout up on my back or in my ears ?


----------



## Goblin

Evil Andrew has hairy ears?


----------



## Evil Andrew

...why Debbie changed her avatar, and WTH is that ?


----------



## Goblin

Evil Andrew doesn't realize what that is?


----------



## Evil Andrew

...why it's so dang cold ?


----------



## debbie5

...why I love big, heavy wool socks?


----------



## Spooky1

... I don't feel like going back to work tomorrow after taking a week off?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Why we should go back ?


----------



## Goblin

Is there a reason why you shouldn't?


----------



## debbie5

..is there a reason I have no dental insurance and have a cavity?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason why it seems to take so long ?


----------



## Spooky1

Is there a reason I'm watching Night of the Lepus?


----------



## Goblin

This cold doesn't want to let go all the way?


----------



## Evil Andrew

For me to think about you?

Head East - Never Been Any Reason on Yahoo! Video


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that Evil Andrew is thinking about Goblin?


----------



## Spooky1

... that my brain hurts?


----------



## Goblin

The best Holidays are at the end of the year?


----------



## debbie5

...why I'm not hibernating?


----------



## autumnghost

... why my caffeine hasn't kicked in yet?


----------



## debbie5

...why we humans have to do so many things with our hair>? Dye our hair, shave our legs, grow a beard...too much! I'm gonna look like a grey haired yeti soon....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the CAPS LOCK has to be located right where you can hit it accidentally every time you type?


----------



## debbie5

...my dog is a sock snitcher?


----------



## Evil Andrew

.....why I'm so tempted ?


----------



## debbie5

...why EA bit the apple?


----------



## Goblin

Road crews are never prepared for heavy snows?


----------



## debbie5

.....why?


----------



## Evil Andrew

It's 2 below! Is there a reason we don't get under the covers and just stay there?


----------



## Goblin

They want to show all the good shows at the same time on the same day?


----------



## debbie5

...I still think the old Green Hornet show sucks??


----------



## scareme

...husbands think they are your father, and we are suppose to mind?


----------



## debbie5

...husbands start to resemble the bag boy at the grocery store at around year 7 of marriage??


----------



## Spooky1

... Debbie has her eye on the bag boys at the grocery store?


----------



## debbie5

...I have my eye on the mailman? (meeoowwrrrr...)


----------



## Evil Andrew

.....why my mail is always late ? Is someone delaying the carrier from his appointed rounds ?


----------



## debbie5

(blinkblink)


----------



## morbidmike

why my pants are missing again


----------



## debbie5

....Mickey borrowed them again??


----------



## morbidmike

why Mickey is hiding in my wifes closet


----------



## debbie5

is Mickey Finnish? or finished?


----------



## morbidmike

why deb is not making sense


----------



## debbie5

(cries)


----------



## Evil Andrew

...why I never get anyone in my closet ? : (


----------



## Goblin

This thread isn't making any sense?


----------



## debbie5

...why is no one givng me a Mickey Finn?


----------



## Spooky1

... Debbie put a dorsal fin on Mickey Mouse?


----------



## Evil Andrew

.....why a roofie wouldn't do the trick ?


----------



## debbie5

...why you all need Jesus? (LOL)


----------



## Goblin

debbie5 said:


> ...why you all need Jesus? (LOL)


Is there a reason why we don't?


----------



## debbie5

...why I have to discern your needs for you??


----------



## scareme

...that I can't eat anything without the two dogs begging?


----------



## Goblin

scareme said:


> ...that I can't eat anything without the two dogs begging?


Are the hot dogs begging you not to eat them again?


----------



## debbie5

Why not have octopus hotdogs?


----------



## Goblin

Octopus's can't have hot dogs?


----------



## debbie5

is there a reason why we can't make ocean-proof condiments so octopuses/octopi can enjoy a nice hotdog??


----------



## Goblin

Octopuses and Octopi can't have hamburgers or hot dogs?


----------



## scareme

My daughter is always mad!


----------



## Goblin

Teen stars get in so much trouble


----------



## scareme

Lindsay Lohan can't stay out of jail?


----------



## Haunted Spider

The media still cares about LiLo


----------



## debbie5

scareme said:


> My daughter is always mad!


(how old is she? hormones? depression? LIFE? LOL..)


----------



## autumnghost

Is there a reason they don't put Lindsay Lohan in jail long enough to make a difference?


----------



## Haunted Spider

Yes, the judge needs more publicity 

Is there a reason hotdogs come in packages of 10 but hotdog buns come in packages of 8?


----------



## scareme

Just to **** you off. Does it work?


----------



## Spooky1

...commercials are so much louder than the TV programs?


----------



## Haunted Spider

Why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?


----------



## Goblin

Why they call it driveway?


----------



## Haunted Spider

Why does the pizza delivery guy get to your house faster than an ambulance?


----------



## Spooky1

that meetings at work will get rescheduled to fit the bosses schedule, but it doesn't matter if the new time is convenient for the other 18 people here.


----------



## Goblin

Why everyone rushes to the grocery stores at the mere mention of snow.


----------



## Haunted Spider

Why people horde bread when a storm is coming that is only supposed to last for 1 day?


----------



## Goblin

Why they horde bread and milk but nothing to put on the bread?


----------



## Haunted Spider

Why drivers always look so angry?


----------



## Goblin

The good movies come on about the time you're going to bed?


----------



## debbie5

...why I still have body parts I don't need anymore??


----------



## Goblin

Why Debbie doesn't use them as props?


----------



## GrimmEverafter

...why there are two holidays that relate in some way to the undead, passng out candy, warrant costuming of some sort, and yet only one is considered 'evil' or 'strange'? ((Halloween and Easter))


----------



## debbie5

..why I fell asleep with makeup on, and now have dribbly, grouchy eyes?


----------



## Haunted Spider

GrimmEverafter said:


> ...why there are two holidays that relate in some way to the undead, passng out candy, warrant costuming of some sort, and yet only one is considered 'evil' or 'strange'? ((Halloween and Easter))


Because no one wants to dress up as Jesus or an Angel on Easter. If we didn't dress up on Halloween, it would probably be ok with everyone, although my church did throw a costume party this year for Halloween so some are still ok with it.

Is there a reason why Roses cost 3 times as much today as any other day of the year?


----------



## debbie5

(All flowers, even corsages are marked way up this week. I bought my birthday girl a corsage this week and it was stupidexpensive. Never again.)

Is there a reason why the dog can't be trained to wash dishes?


----------



## RoxyBlue

....that anyone would buy roses when carnations last so much longer?


----------



## Spooky1

... that I was luck enough to marry a woman who doesn't like diamonds?


----------



## Haunted Spider

... why spooky is deflecting from his own diamond fetish?


----------



## Goblin

People wait till the coldest days to want to work outside?


----------



## debbie5

...I can't find a way to stop hubby's restless leg syndrome? (I can't use an axe...don't wanna stain the sheets).


----------



## GrimmEverafter

...that people insist on waking you up early on the days that you don't get to bed until some ungodly time in the morning, but on the days you actually manage to get some sleep, they let you sleep in and miss everything fun?


----------



## Spooky1

... the Golden Retriever never has won Westminster Dog Show?


----------



## Goblin

Someone plays their car stero real loud when they're working on the roof?


----------



## autumnghost

Why people have to text while driving? Seriously?


----------



## debbie5

...why when you get a fever, you get freezing cold? Weird. The Kid must need more Motrin.


----------



## Spooky1

... that some people don't seem to think Stop signs and red lights pertain to them?


----------



## Haunted Spider

... why you hiccup. I have been hiccuping for the last 30 hours. Gah, my neck and shoulders hurt now from it.


----------



## debbie5

(30 HOURS!!?? WTH? isn't that a symptom of some tropical disease?)

...why some days, I just want to open the front door and say "GO!" to the dog....


----------



## Spooky1

... some drivers slow down to below the speed limit to go around a turn in the road


----------



## debbie5

..why old people will not admit they should stop driving at a certain point in their feebleness?


----------



## Goblin

Why people will wait till you're right on top of them to pull
out in the road.......then slow down?


----------



## scareme

They give any idiot a drivers licence?


----------



## Goblin

Why they gave you one after I warned them not too?


----------



## Haunted Spider

Is there a reason why cell phone batteries drain so fast now adays?


----------



## debbie5

Why I NEVER see people I know when I am freshly showered, perfumed and looking great, but when I quickly run to the store after dropping kid off at school, and am 100% gnarly, I run into someone I know...AND THEY WANT TO HUG ME. I'm like: "OMG- no...I haven't even showered today yet". Lordy....I should just tell them I live in my car or something...some logical excuse.


----------



## scareme

The squirrel in the ceiling never makes a noise when Rick is home?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...Scareme doesn't know it's a bat in her ceiling?


----------



## scareme

No, the bats in my belfry.


----------



## debbie5

...why some women continue to have children even if they cannot afford (financially, mentally & physically) to raise any more? I guess they are shooting for a quantity of children, rather than quality..


----------



## GothicCandle

Is there a reason we want our own neighbors to behave themselves, and yet watch other people's neighbors do what we hope ours never do?


----------



## GrimmEverafter

...why people insist on keeping the phone volume up so high that when you actually answer the phone it sounds like the other person is YELLING and rendering you temporarily deaf?


----------



## debbie5

...why my entire family is sick, and I'm feeling like they have The Phage?


----------



## Goblin

The old classic horror movies are better than the remakes


----------



## Haunted Spider

why cell phone coverage is so spotty?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...some folks don't know how to stay on topic?


----------



## Goblin

People in Walmart get careless with their shopping carts?


----------



## debbie5

...I have to force myself to take a shower in the morning (creaky bones) but once I'm in the shower, I really don't want to get out?


----------



## Spooky1

.... that the Earth is going to fly off its axis and plunge into the sun. Oops, I wasn't supposed to the let that info out. Never mind, please go about your business. :googly:


----------



## debbie5

..why farts don't echo?


----------



## Goblin

Zombies like to eat brains instead of hamburgers?


----------



## Haunted Spider

if zombies eat brains, how does the brainless body become the next zombie? I mean if you shoot the zombie and kill its brain it dies. hmm... sort of like the chicken and egg conundrum.


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that Spiderclimber is waxing philosophical about zombies?:jol:


----------



## Goblin

Dogs always howl at the moon?


----------



## scareme

Dogs howl when I sing?


----------



## Goblin

Why Scareme can't carry a tune in a bucket?


----------



## GrimmEverafter

..why tunes can be carried in a bucket in the first place?


----------



## debbie5

...why no one knows when people will kick the bucket?


----------



## Goblin

Why we're stuck in the bucket brigade?


----------



## debbie5

is it a light brigade?


----------



## Haunted Spider

why when it snows and there is three inches on the road do people assume they can still drive the same?


----------



## debbie5

...why you get a salty taste in your mouth before you barf? is that like a barf Early Warning System? And where does the salt come from? I don't have a salt gland under my tongue....?? (Yes, I barfed last night...I have no idea why.)


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that Debbie5 feels compelled to share her barf stories here?


----------



## debbie5

...why no one else shares their barf stories? (I'm sure some of you have some doozies!)


----------



## Goblin

Why Debbie hasn't compiled all her barf stories into a book?


----------



## debbie5

...why no one wants to hear about the time I barfed steak and the steak (from the day before) was still in little chunks? WHY? what about the time I threw up Tang? (It actually tasted pretty good the 2nd time around....)


----------



## Goblin

Why anyone would want to hear about it?


----------



## autumnghost

Hoooookay change of subject. (getting a little green myself)

Is there a reason why the neighbor's cat likes to hang out on my front porch more than theirs?


----------



## Haunted Spider

^I bet it is because you fed it something once. 

Is there a reason why my basement has water in it this morning? (could be from the massive thunderstorm lastnight, but I doubt it  )


----------



## debbie5

...is there a reason why it's raining today on top of all the pretty snow?


----------



## Goblin

Why all the strong winds suddenly stopped at 4pm when the
tornado watch ended?


----------



## Haunted Spider

why it got cold again. from 50 to 19. gaaa..


----------



## debbie5

...why the "leaders" of the Girl Scout troop consistently drop the ball? Do they think they are the only ones with lives & drama? QUIT WHINING AND GET THE GODDAMN COOKIES SORTED AND OUT TO THE GIRLS TO DELIVER! Now I remember why I prefer to work with men....

Rant over. Thank you.


----------



## Haunted Spider

why did the girl scouts never come to sell cookies at my house? I passed up the form at work for 3 days waiting to see if one would come by and then the form was gone and now I am left with no cookies


----------



## Goblin

Why you didn't do the form just in case?


----------



## Haunted Spider

^I don't know why I didn't fill out the form. I missed out and now I don't get my tagalongs or however you spell that. But the keebler elf cookies are somewhat close so I will get some of those. 

... why when you try to find the process to build something on google, every other website tells you to do the opposite of the last.


----------



## Goblin

You have heavy frost in the morning and 70 degrees in the afternoon?


----------



## autumnghost

Goblin said:


> You have heavy frost in the morning and 70 degrees in the afternoon?


Are you sure you don't live in Missouri? 

Is there a reason why the picketers across the street can't find something to do besides watch us when we're working in the yard?


----------



## Haunted Spider

^why are they picketing your yard work?

Is there a reason why my phone is off by 7 hours and telling me I am in Turkey at the moment?


----------



## autumnghost

Spiderclimber said:


> ^why are they picketing your yard work?QUOTE]
> 
> LOL Noo. They're picketing the $Tree in the strip mall across the street.


----------



## Goblin

They only made 6 episodes of The Walking Dead?


----------



## PrettyGhoul

Why they are making us wait an entire year for the next new episodes of the Walking Dead when it was such a hit? (new episodes October 2011)


----------



## Goblin

Trade papers tell such bigggggggg whoppers?


----------



## Haunted Spider

why it is still snowing with spring supposed to be here soon. ..


----------



## Goblin

I have sinus headaches everytime it rains


----------



## Haunted Spider

that the weather is based on whether or not Goblin is getting a sinus headache. Get another one already we need rain. just kidding we have enough.


----------



## debbie5

Gobby- I get them a lot, too. Do you use prescription nasal spray? It helps me in about 90% of the headaches.

....is there a reason why I am sitting here, looking lovingly at Halloween pics of my haunt that I just had developed? I look at it & wonder why it takes so damned long to put all that crap up.


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that Debbie5 has not posted pictures of her haunt?


----------



## Haunted Spider

..why has roxy not helped debbie post the pictures?


----------



## Spooky1

... that the media feels we constantly need to know about Charlie Sheen.


----------



## debbie5

(I have been instructed in how to scan & post my pics. I get them onto photobucket, and then can't figure out how to get them here despite instruction. I feel shame and stop the process.)


----------



## Goblin

Copy the IMG code link under each pic and paste it in the message box


----------



## Haunted Spider

do you think Debbie5 will post a picture before her 6000 post?


----------



## debbie5

(am I supposed to know what an IMG code is? IM AMISH DAMMIT) LOL,.

Is there a reason why I love watching hoarding shows?


----------



## autumnghost

Is there a reason why Tony and Ziva can't get together on NCIS?


----------



## PirateLady

is there a reason why we depend on a ground hog to forecast weather?


----------



## Haunted Spider

Is there a reason they don't run the groundhog down if he says more winter to come?


----------



## Goblin

Why does everyone assume he sees his shadow?


----------



## Haunted Spider

as long as he sees the shadow and it is my truck tire shadow, I am good with it. 

Is there a reason why when you hire a contractor to do a job, he always skimps somewhere instead of just doing it right?


----------



## Goblin

It always rains when youre gonna work outside


----------



## debbie5

...why being mean is so easy, and being kind & thoughtful is hard(er)?


----------



## PirateLady

why people have to interfere with others happiness?


----------



## Goblin

The best tasting foods are the ones that are bad for you?


----------



## PirateLady

That the word Diet really means DID I EAT THAT?


----------



## debbie5

Goblin said:


> The best tasting foods are the ones that are bad for you?


Watermelon is good for you! Sadly, I don't crave watermelon at midnight!


----------



## Goblin

You get chocolate cravings when there's none in the house?


----------



## PirateLady

hotdogs and hotdog buns can not be the same amount in a package?


----------



## autumnghost

Why hubbie always calls or wants to chat just when the part of the movie or book I REALLY want to see/read is going on? Timing is everything.


----------



## debbie5

..why my hubby never chats? Unless it's about something political...


----------



## PirateLady

why florist charge so much money for flowers?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...."poopies" is such a popular word?


----------



## Haunted Bayou

Is there a reason why my dog always burps in my face?
(we call it love burps)


----------



## Goblin

People let cats grow up then dump them alongside the road?


----------



## PirateLady

people park in handicapped parking when they are in perfect health?


----------



## debbie5

PirateLady said:


> people park in handicapped parking when they are in perfect health?


Heart conditions along with many other hidden disabilities can qualify you for a permanent handicapped pass. Many people who look & walk normally need to use the pass to "save their steps" while shopping so they can make it through the day. But there are boobs who borrow granny's pass & go shopping!

Is there a reason why I am dying for grilled chicken, but it's still too cold to grill?


----------



## Goblin

People walking dogs let them poop in your yard and never offer to clean it up?


----------



## debbie5

Goblin said:


> People walking dogs let them poop in your yard and never offer to clean it up?


(B.B.gun solves this.)

..why no one in my family questions why I will slam on the breaks and suddenly turn into an old cemetery to take pics of the really old stones?


----------



## Moon Dog

Why no one beats a path to my door until I'm in the bathroom?


----------



## Goblin

They never warn you before that they're gonna do routine maintenance on the internet?


----------



## debbie5

...it's almost 11pm and I need to run to the store?


----------



## Goblin

Why Debbie runs to the store instead of driving?


----------



## debbie5

..why I broke down & bought two jelly filled donuts for me & hubs to have @ breakfast...delicious raspberry jelly filled..only to bite into it this morning to find it's filled with APPLES. Blech. They both are!


----------



## PirateLady

why dogs lie on their backs with their legs straight up in the air leaning against the wall?


----------



## Goblin

Cats always do their little dance of death on you before they lay down


----------



## The Halloween Lady

Why Noah didn't swat those two darned mosquitoes?


----------



## Death's Door

Why I need to be at work today or any day?


----------



## Haunted Bayou

So many idiots are employed in the healthcare field?


----------



## Goblin

Haunted Bayou said:


> So many idiots are employed in the healthcare field?


Because all the telemarketers jobs were filled!


----------



## PirateLady

why people cannot put their trashcans away after trash day so they blow into the streets.


----------



## Haunted Bayou

Goblin said:


> Because all the telemarketers jobs were filled!


Good one, Goblin. (can you tell I am not happy with my job right now?)

Is there a reason I get depressed for no good reason


----------



## Goblin

People won't accept your advice then later say "I wish I had listened to you"


----------



## PirateLady

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?


----------



## RoxyBlue

LOL, and along that line...

...that a shop would post a sign saying "Ears Pierced While You Wait"?


----------



## debbie5

RoxyBlue said:


> LOL, and along that line...
> 
> ...that a shop would post a sign saying "Ears Pierced While You Wait"?


Which goes along with a sign I once saw over the corn-on-the-cob which said, "Please do not shuck your corn in the store"...
("shucking the corn" being slang for something naughty...)


----------



## Goblin

Why Comcast still hasn't told us why they deleted 3 channels. One of them was TCM


----------



## debbie5

Goblin said:


> Why Comcast still hasn't told us why they deleted 3 channels. One of them was TCM


In the last year, we've lost about 10 channels...they pushed them all over to digital cable, so we have to buy the damn box & pay for digital.


----------



## PirateLady

Why there is very little on tv anymore to watch?


----------



## autumnghost

They're called apartments when they're all stuck together or flats (if you're in the UK) when they're stacked on top of each other?


----------



## Lady Nyxie

... it just doesn't seem like this winter is ever going to end?


----------



## debbie5

...why I still cannot find a flat pair of cute shoes to wear with a skirt that both fit AND are comfortable?? WTH?


----------



## Goblin

Our government wants to screw around with Social Security?


----------



## debbie5

...why I am so frustrated by stupidity?

(I fully accept mine..its other's that I have issues with...)


----------



## Spooky1

... that it's 84 and sunny outside right now, while it was rainy and in the 40s and 50s on the weekend?


----------



## Haunted Bayou

(^March is such a tease)

ITAR that I can't decide what I want to do when I grow up?


----------



## Goblin

Everything seems to go wrong at one time?


----------



## debbie5

...why body maintenance is getting to be a drag as I age? Washing, moisturizing, shaving legs..too many things to maintain. I already let my eyebrows grow back in...
Can't I just go live in the woods like an old unwashed, gnarly crone should??


----------



## Goblin

Why I seen a fox in a residential area this evening?


----------



## autumnghost

debbie5 said:


> ...why body maintenance is getting to be a drag as I age? Washing, moisturizing, shaving legs..too many things to maintain. I already let my eyebrows grow back in...
> Can't I just go live in the woods like an old unwashed, gnarly crone should??


I'm with ya sister! Why my hair is disappearing from the top of my head and showing up on my chin. But at least it isn't coming out my nose. Pretty soon I can be my own Halloween prop.


----------



## debbie5

Hahahhah, AG!


----------



## Goblin

Why the government thinks the elderly can afford their own health care?


----------



## debbie5

Goblin said:


> Why the government thinks the elderly can afford their own health care?


I am amazed at how much they expect the elderly & the disabled to pony up $$ for health care. Give endless Medicaid benefits, and have very loosey-goosey verification of income, but nail the elderly & crippled. I don't understand, either.


----------



## Goblin

Why we let government vote on the own pay raises and free health care?


----------



## debbie5

...and huge pensions?


----------



## Goblin

Why we don't have it where we vote on their raises and health care?


----------



## debbie5

..why there is very little sign of gov't FOR the people (etc.) except on the local level?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...stinkbugs have the uncanny ability to get into everything?


----------



## debbie5

...why there is a tube of Tom's Of Maine wild lavender deodorant on the computer desk?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...Debbie's computer thinks it needs deodorant?


----------



## debbie5

..why I've been misspelling "deoderant" and "miniscule" and "equiptment" for years!!??


----------



## Goblin

Why Debbie doesn't buy a dictionary?


----------



## debbie5

..why I have two dictionaries, but rarely use them>?


----------



## Goblin

Why Debbie uses a rare dictionary?


----------



## debbie5

Yes.


----------



## RoxyBlue

...folks at work expect other folks at work to clean up after them in the kitchen?


----------



## The Halloween Lady

ITAR....the phone rings every time we eat dinner?


----------



## Goblin

Some people have nothing better to do than aggrivate people
who haven't done a thing to them


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the garbage truck driver doesn't pull over just a _wee _bit more at stops so you can pass him without crossing a double yellow line?


----------



## Goblin

Walmart keeps rearranging their store over and over again


----------



## debbie5

...the more expensive the store, the less people who are on the floor to help you?


----------



## morbidmike

why I shaved my back for this??


----------



## debbie5

..why Mike was gone so long? Solitary confinement?


----------



## Evil Andrew

.........why more prisons don't shave their inmates' backs in solitary confinement ?


----------



## Goblin

Congress can only vote together when it's something for them?


----------



## morbidmike

why toilet paper tastes chalky


----------



## debbie5

...why prison inmates arent made to walk treadmills to power the jails?


----------



## morbidmike

why Jalapeno seeds burn your eye balls


----------



## Evil Andrew

debbie5 said:


> ...why prison inmates arent made to walk treadmills to power the jails?


....why we don't ask Maricopa County, AZ Sheriff Joe Arpaio ? Bet he'd do it : )


----------



## morbidmike

why I dont wear dresses


----------



## RoxyBlue

morbid mike said:


> why I dont wear dresses


'cause you're a manly man


----------



## Goblin

Why summer is always so hot and humid?


----------



## morbidmike

why am I so excited to go to work


----------



## Goblin

There has been a opossum sitting on the front porch the past two nights?


----------



## PirateLady

Is there a reason the ground hog only eats our tomatoes and not the neighbors?


----------



## RoxyBlue

....people think saying "Thank you" is optional when you hold the door for them?


----------



## aquariumreef

RoxyBlue said:


> ....people think saying "Thank you" is optional when you hold the door for them?


(because gentlemen were supposed to do that to be nice, not for thanks)

Why are there no good tv shows during the day?


----------



## Goblin

Everyone gets just milk and bread at the store when it's gonna snow?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason for Fractal self-similarities ?


----------



## Goblin

Politicians are the only ones who get steady pay raises


----------



## Evil Andrew

Why you're not running for office ?


----------



## aquariumreef

Why people complain so much?


----------



## RoxyBlue

(LOL:jol

...I'm still up when I should be sleeping?


----------



## Goblin

Why Roxy was still up instead of sleeping?


----------



## scareme

That animal choose my kitchen to visit last night? Now I'm afraid to go into the kitchen tonight.


----------



## N. Fantom

Halloween is not a federal holiday


----------



## RoxyBlue

...circus peanut candy has that little door shaped bump on one end?


----------



## Hairazor

Your tooth ache goes away on the day you can finally get into the dentist?


----------



## Goblin

Someone would rent a house just to keep their dogs in?


----------



## scareme

Plants die when they send time in my house?


----------



## Goblin

Cold weather won't kill flies?


----------



## The Halloween Lady

My landscape lights always work fine in the daytime?


----------



## Goblin

The good shows get cancelled and the terrible ones just linger on?


----------



## debbie5

...societal convention says I need to wear a bra?


----------



## Haunted Bayou

...all schools supplies need to be purchased in advance with duplicate items and including Kleenex? (I needed paper, a pencil and a notebook)


----------



## Spooky1

... the building maintenance people can't adjust the ventilation so I don't have a wind tunnel over my desk?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...Debbie wants to go braless when everyone knows that gravity is not a woman's friend when it comes to the bosom thing?


----------



## Goblin

People feel the need to talk on cellphones when they should be concentrating
on their driving?


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: People don't try harder to smile and say hello when they pass strangers?


----------



## ladysherry

why people don't say thank you when you hold the door for them. Hello I took the time to hold the door aleast you could say thank you.


----------



## Spooky1

... common sense isn't so common?


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: Is there a reason some mornings I just want to plow through all the nim-knull drivers on the road in front of me...?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...Pumpkin5 likes flies in her chardonnay?


----------



## Goblin

You get curteosy calls from a bank but nothing in the mail


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: Is there a reason that stupid people seem to not know when to stop procreating their bad/sad gene pool?


----------



## Evil Andrew

.......why the people with the worst music play it the loudest ?


----------



## Goblin

Somebody always calls you when your favorite program comes on?


----------



## scareme

People wake you up and ask, "Are you sleeping?".


----------



## Goblin

The internet never tells you before hand they're gonna service it


----------



## Lord Homicide

... it took a century to figure out the best place for the squirt hole on a ketchup bottle was on the bottom?


----------



## aquariumreef

That people never give me free stuff?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that Aquariumreef dreams of little ponies?:jol:


----------



## Pumpkin5

RoxyBlue said:


> ...that Aquariumreef dreams of little ponies?:jol:


:jol:Awwwwwww.......

....that so many smart people are on the Hauntforum?


----------



## Goblin

You have to phone the DMV long distance when there's one downtown?


----------



## Lord Homicide

Is there a reason I still squint and quickly try to electronically staple a stack of paper like the stapler is a giant bear trap that is going to cut my hand off if tripped?


----------



## SterchCinemas

Is there a reason why my dog MUST follow me eeeevvverrrryyywheeerrreee?!


----------



## Goblin

Why Walmart employees can't watch where they're going?


----------



## aquariumreef

Why I am so beautiful while other people are not?


----------



## Copchick

Is there a reason why television commercials are louder than the program you're watching?


----------



## debbie5

is there a reason I totally forgot I had a goodbye party to go to for a friend who is moving away?? OH yeah..the neighbors were yelling & I forgot..dammit.


----------



## Spooky1

aquariumreef said:


> Why I am so beautiful while other people are not?


... that someone so young, can have an ego so big? :googly:


----------



## Goblin

Aquariumreef thinks he's me?


----------



## Moon Dog

That folks don't believe me when I post that I'm last in the last post thread?


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: That Moondog EVER believes that he could actually be last in the last post thread with me around...Really????


----------



## Goblin

Pumpkin5 thinks she will be last when I'm around?


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: That Goblin doesn't think I am going to haunt his every move?


----------



## Goblin

Pumpkin5 wants to haunt my every move?


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: That Goblin can't understand why...and yet...here I am AGAIN...I think the proof is in the pudding...or, rather...the haunting.....


----------



## RoxyBlue

....that people stalk each other in this thread?


----------



## Copchick

Is there a reason that a perfectly good day ends up turning to sh*t? :googly: Well I'm having one of those days!


----------



## Goblin

I only feel good when I'm asleep?


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: That I only feel good when I sleep too Goblin! What? All this Goblin stalking must be rubbing off on me!


----------



## Moon Dog

That while driving, everyone in front of me is sight seeing & driving slow while everyone behind me wants to run me over?


----------



## Spooky1

.... that the cement pad for our new shed hasn't been poured yet?


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: Is there a reason that Spooky hired dodgey people to pour his slab...and is now unsatisfied???


----------



## Goblin

The digital converter went bad after just 4 months?


----------



## Copchick

That some men just don't get women? Ugh!


----------



## Moon Dog

That the harder you try, the farther you get knocked back?


----------



## Lord Homicide

Two things:
1.) is there a reason a duck quack does not echo?
2.) is there a reason I have 8 gallons of beer leftover from my party last night?


----------



## Goblin

People wait till you're right on top of them before they pull out?


----------



## Copchick

Lord Homicide said:


> Two things:
> 1.) is there a reason a duck quack does not echo?
> 2.) is there a reason I have 8 gallons of beer leftover from my party last night?


1. A duck's quack doesn't have an echo??? Really? 
2. Sounds like you have breakfast or a snack for later. 

Is there a reason when you give an inch they take a mile?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason why no body wants to give the ducks an inch ?


----------



## Goblin

We pay for a city sticker but they don't make them anymore?


----------



## Moon Dog

Why people in front of me almost stop when entering the Interstate from an on ramp?!?


----------



## Copchick

Moon Dog said:


> Why people in front of me almost stop when entering the Interstate from an on ramp?!?


They must be the same people who brake just before entering into a tunnel. It's like they're scared of the dark hole in the mountain.

Is there a reason there is no air conditioning at the gym?


----------



## highbury

You'll catch a cold when you're all sweaty.

Is there a reason ESPN won't shut up about LeBron James?


----------



## Goblin

Godzilla doen't have his own tv series?


----------



## Moon Dog

Why my coworker and friend was taken from this Earth at an early age?


----------



## Goblin

They don't let you know when the internet will be down for maintenance


----------



## Evil Andrew

No one has posted here for so long ?


----------



## Goblin

Why you ask?


----------



## MrGrimm

Why some people just complain about the littlest things?


----------



## Copchick

Is there a reason why I can't sing like Patsy Cline?


----------



## MommaMoose

Why picky eaters think that everyone has to eat food their way?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...people take jobs as phone scammers?


----------



## Spooky1

... that the county can't give us the date they will be doing road work in our neighborhood. (They put up a sign saying it would be in a few days, over a week ago and nothing has been done yet)


----------



## Goblin

Why all the politicians want to mess with medicare?


----------



## MrGrimm

Politicians aren't forced to fact check what they say during a debate?


----------



## Goblin

Politicians don't pay for their own health care?


----------



## Evil Andrew

.....why we don't join the Goblin for Congress campaign ?


----------



## Goblin

Why Andrew thinks I would sell for anything less than King of the world?


----------



## Evil Andrew

....... I can't stop loving you ?


----------



## Copchick

It is darkest before dawn?


----------



## Evil Andrew

...why someone would have a pet iguana ?


----------



## Goblin

Someone would have a pet coibra?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Why I can't get no.....


----------



## Copchick

The waiting is the hardest part?


----------



## Goblin

Whenever you have the money they're sold out?


----------



## MrGrimm

People just can't live and let live?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...people at work have problems getting used paper towels into the waste basket?


----------



## Evil Andrew

MrGrimm said:


> People just can't live and let live?


Or Live and let Die ?


----------



## Goblin

There's a heavy downpour when you're loading groceries in the car?


----------



## MrGrimm

...why people ferociously pick their noses at red lights?


----------



## Goblin

People watch people picking their nose?


----------



## MrGrimm

People deny the nature of human curiosity?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...Mother Nature can't seem to make up her mind as to whether it's really fall or still summer?


----------



## MrGrimm

Lunch hour only lasts one hour?


----------



## Evil Andrew

........happy hour often lasts till 2:00 am ?


----------



## MrGrimm

My kids won't go to bed?!


----------



## Evil Andrew

......why you don't take them to Happy Hour ?


----------



## MrGrimm

(They're half Irish, they'll get there soon enough)

I am always hungry at this hour?


----------



## RoxyBlue

..no one has brought MrGrimm any supper?


----------



## Evil Andrew

MrGrimm said:


> (They're half Irish, they'll get there soon enough


why everyone has little Irish in them : )


----------



## Goblin

Walmart hasn't restocked the winged Reapers?


----------



## Copchick

That hypocrits are so self righteous?


----------



## Goblin

Eagle farts smell to the high heavens?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Why we would focus on that, rather than their music?


----------



## Hairazor

Our feet smell and our nose runs?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason why wearing your hat backwards automatically reduces your IQ by 50 points ?


----------



## Goblin

People you haven't seen you in 40 years think you'll reconize them immediately?


----------



## the bloody chef

The loudest, crudest, most obnoxious people are _always _ being abused and taken advantage of....because of something stupid like WalMart ran out of an advertised special on underwear just to abuse _them_ and violate _their_ rights...and we have to listen to it !!! :xbones:


----------



## RoxyBlue

...people waste energy paying attention to obnoxious people?


----------



## Copchick

...I cannot get motivated to get my butt to the gym!?


----------



## the bloody chef

Is there a reason that food that is good for you tastes like cardboard or crap and food that is bad for you tastes sooo good?


----------



## Goblin

Some tv stations keep changing their programming constantly


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason why Mr G's favorite network is TV Land ?


----------



## Goblin

Evil Andrew said:


> Is there a reason why Mr G's favorite network is TV Land ?


Sorry Evil A......my favorite is ME-TV!


----------



## the bloody chef

Is there a reason.....or is that just an excuse?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the post office can deliver mail to the cemetery up the street?


----------



## Goblin

We always get ice when everyone around us gets snow?


----------



## Evil Andrew

basements seem to get filled up with junk ?


----------



## Moon Dog

Why the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the bathroom?


----------



## Goblin

Why zombies want to eat people?


----------



## Copchick

ITAR why we as a society, aren't more tolerant of zombies? Don't they need lovin' too?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Goblin said:


> Why zombies want to eat people?


Cause we taste like chicken ?


----------



## Goblin

Evil Andrew said:


> Cause we taste like chicken ?


Do they consider you finger licking good?


----------



## Evil Andrew

ITAR they couldn't order extra crispy ?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...that people slow down to zero mph in a through lane before turning into a parking lot?


----------



## Goblin

Someone will say they didn't do something after you seen them do it!


----------



## Hairazor

when the phone wakes you up and the person says "Did I wake you up?", you say "No"?


----------



## scareme

lol hairazor I do that all the time

Everyone is quite, but if I try to make a phone call, the birds will start squawking and the dogs will start barking.


----------



## Hairazor

I can sit for a half hour waiting for my next customer but the minute I get her in the shampoo bowl and lathered up the phone rings?


----------



## Goblin

Hairazor said:


> I can sit for a half hour waiting for my next customer but the minute I get her in the shampoo bowl and lathered up the phone rings?


Well? Is there?


----------



## Moon Dog

Why when there is a bell sound on TV the dogs bark their heads off, but when the door bell rings they wag their tails because we have company?


----------



## Goblin

The zombie apocalypse didn't happen in December? I was awfully disappointed!


----------



## scareme

The dogs bark everytime I'm on the phone?


----------



## Goblin

You're using the dog's telephone?


----------



## Evil Andrew

Is there a reason LH comes to mind ?


----------



## Goblin

I don't know.......is there?


----------



## RoxyBlue

...mustard makes such a rude noise when it comes out of the squeeze bottle?


----------



## Evil Andrew

......cheese popcorn is so addicting ?


----------



## Goblin

Remakes are never as good as the original?


----------



## Evil Andrew

....I can't find my keys ?


----------



## Goblin

It's snowing and it's Spring?


----------



## Ramonadona

...why I keep making props without having anywhere to store them?


----------



## Moon Dog

why drivers behind me stay way back while traffic is moving only to tailgate when I'm coming up to a red light?


----------



## Goblin

Red means stop and green means go?


----------



## kauldron

ITAR - why things always seem to break at the same time?


----------



## RoxyBlue

....some folks will spend money they don't have and then complain about not having enough money to pay their bills?


----------



## Halloween Jokes

corny Halloween jokes are funny


----------

