# "How to be a good mother"



## GothicCandle (Mar 26, 2007)

This article is why asia has such a high suicide rate
Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior Should be called what to do if you want your kid to have an inferiority complex and an unhealthy obsession with other peoples definition of success.


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

I'm a rather strict parent, and upfront with my communication. Some of this is dead on correct (when my daughter complains she feels too fat, I tell her to exercise & eat better, but I would NEVER say YOU LOOK FAT/ your ass looks too big!! OMG!)...some of these comments are NUTS and just mean. It's not like they are LIVING in China, where State tests in 4th grade pretty much determine what career you will have the rest of your life, and their school system is crazy. You do have to go through a few years of drudgery & hate when you play an instrument before you get skillful enough & hit a point where it becomes fun. But no sleepovers? No playdates? No computer? Ummm....those things can be done in moderation, and with parental limits & oversight. These people are just being power freaks. I keep control of my kids (checking out the house where they are going for a sleep over before I let them go) but I'm not a POWER freak like these parents! I tell my kids it's my job to help them findout & realize who they are, & to teach them self control and how to function in society. I try really not NOT to shove what **I** want them to be down their throats. These parents are just making resentful enemies of their kids, and I'll bet their kids fear them so much that they never talk to them earnestly & honestly. What a shame.


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## GothicCandle (Mar 26, 2007)

debbie5 said:


> I'm a rather strict parent, and upfront with my communication. Some of this is dead on correct (when my daughter complains she feels too fat, I tell her to exercise & eat better, but I would NEVER say YOU LOOK FAT/ your ass looks too big!! OMG!)...some of these comments are NUTS and just mean. It's not like they are LIVING in China, where State tests in 4th grade pretty much determine what career you will have the rest of your life, and their school system is crazy. You do have to go through a few years of drudgery & hate when you play an instrument before you get skillful enough & hit a point where it becomes fun. But no sleepovers? No playdates? No computer? Ummm....those things can be done in moderation, and with parental limits & oversight. These people are just being power freaks. I keep control of my kids (checking out the house where they are going for a sleep over before I let them go) but I'm not a POWER freak like these parents! I tell my kids it's my job to help them findout & realize who they are, & to teach them self control and how to function in society. I try really not NOT to shove what **I** want them to be down their throats. These parents are just making resentful enemies of their kids, and I'll bet their kids fear them so much that they never talk to them earnestly & honestly. What a shame.


Agreed. All parents want their kids to grow up well and are suppose to help them. Having motivation to go after something you want, frankly in my opinion, is something a person is born with. No matter how much you yell at a kid they aren't going to do it. This women thinks she is creating a well rounded, intelligent in all areas person, but she's creating a person who believes nothing is ever good enough. Some people really CAN'T do something, but everyone can do something else. Telling a kid they're stupid and making them feel bad is only going to make them feel they can't do it. If someone(anyone) is going to learn something they can't be forced. There are lots of cases where a person gives up on something, and then on their own accord gives it another try, and THAT'S when it gets through. It might take years sometimes, but constant pressure of "I must learn this, I'm an idiot if I don't." is horrid because sadly and often that thought goes to "I'm a failure, why do I even bother?" and that is why Asia has such a high suicide rate. Frankly what this women does in my opinion is abuse.


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