# Finish my Sentence please!



## DeathTouch

I have a another game. The first person will say a small sentence or story. The 2nd person continues or completes the Sentence.

I will go first. Then you end the Sentence. Then you start another one. Can go along with this to make a story or just a Sentence.


"I walked in on my wife this morning to find out she was sleeping with..."


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## psyko99

...her pajamas wrapped around her head. I thought this was strange until I...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...I looked in the mirror. And to my surprise..


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## DeathTouch

...I found a big burger on my nose which said....


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## scareme

it wasn't my reflection, but...


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## DeathTouch

...it looked more like Phillis Diller. If not for the glasses she was wearing I would have thought....


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## skeletonowl

aliens have landed here on Earth but...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...when DT called the President...


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## DeathTouch

..All the president could do is look him in the face....


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## Frighteners Entertainment

.., though he was only on the phone, but then again, it's about DT...


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## scareme

and when things are about DT, they could get really


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## DeathTouch

bent out of shape. There was then a tap at the door where...


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## scareme

noone had been before, but


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## Wyatt Furr

the crew of the Starship Enterprise Capt.Kirk,looking a bit gassy,


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## scareme

asked for directions to


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## Wyatt Furr

the planet,(here it comes folks),Uranus. Spock giggled like a Vulcan schoolgirl and


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## Frighteners Entertainment

....bones then began to...


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## DeathTouch

think he was a porn star because of his name. The good thing out of all of this...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...absolutely nothing. But this didn't stop...


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## DeathTouch

the eager bones from starting his porn star role. He called up his agent and


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...you would never believe who answered the phone. It was...


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## DeathTouch

Jeff's aunt Mary. Aunt Mary who had driven all the way to MI, was stunded to find out Jeff was wearing a


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## Frighteners Entertainment

..a pair of DT's laced tightie whiteys. In the background she saw DT...


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## DeathTouch

with his mouth open wide open. He couldn't belive what he was seeing. So aunt Mary decided to cook up some dinner for everyone. She made..


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## Wyatt Furr

Meatball Salad and Brussel Sprout Pudding.The smell reminded everyone of...


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## scareme

when the garbage men went on strike. But being the brave souls they are...


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## Adam I

sitting down with a smile pasted on their face and ate in good humor. A knock at the front door disturbed the unbelievable meal, Aunt Mary left to great the new visitor ….


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## DeathTouch

Krough. Who large smile on his face showed that he was ready for whatever...


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## scareme

Aunt Mary was dishing up. To bad it turned out to be...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...DT's socks. No one knows how they ended up in the oven....


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## scareme

with the baked possum and...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...silly string. DT even thought this was unusual...


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## scareme

since he was still wearing the socks, but considering this all went on at FE's house...


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## Dr Morbius

it was just a normal day there. Even though they were cooked, the socks still smelled like...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...aging cheese, much like what DT likes to serve at his house...


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## scareme

warming parties. That's when he like to wear..


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...stripped leg warmers like his grandmother has worn...


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## scareme

when she was a wave in the Navy back during...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

....the day when women had hairy legs....


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## DeathTouch

...and Elmo boxers. I couldn't see but I knew...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...there was something wrong...


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## DeathTouch

with her left toe ring. It had..


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...writing on it "wear on right toe only". DT made a realization then...


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## DeathTouch

that he must only wear on shoe. This he thought was the best idea since..


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## Wyatt Furr

it would save money on footwear.He could then spend the cash on..


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...removing the 6th toe on each foot. Wondering....


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## Wyatt Furr

if that would then exclude him from starring in the lastest Cirque Show in Las Vegas. Wayne Newton called...


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## scareme

and asked for the weather report for...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...Chicago, since he was coming to visit DT....


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## DeathTouch

who had Chicago style pizza for everyone. But DT had no cash left over from his crazy haunted party and needed...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

..to find a way to supplement his cash stash...


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## DeathTouch

so he decided to be the first to sell sexy haunted underwear. But he couldn't get the strawberries to stick to the underwear long enough so he..


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...thought to himself...maybe blueberries would be better?...


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## Wyatt Furr

or bananas.It had worked last time during Senior Prom,when DT asked out......


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## DeathTouch

Shannia Twain who sqealed in delight when he did. It was then he thought he would..


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## Wyatt Furr

make an indecent proposal, to see her reaction. Shannia grabbed DT's......


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...blueberry and banana stained underwear from the back and right up over his head. Smiling in delight DT...


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## Wyatt Furr

did the Hokey-Pokey to further entice Shannia into taking off her......


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## Frighteners Entertainment

..cowboy boots, so he could take a look at...


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## scareme

her toe rings and tatoos. Suprisingly, she told him...


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## Wyatt Furr

they were a gift from George W. Bush."That would explain the Presidental Seal on your....


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...butt. Now kindly remove yourself from my closet" she screams!...


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## DeathTouch

A closet he said. Mine does have this much ...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...lacey goodness and fluffy feathers, but I do have 4 inch heels...


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## Wyatt Furr

in both jungle red and bootilious blue.I soon will be modeling these on.......


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## DeathTouch

ebay for all to see. I have to make money you know. Enough to pay for my..


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## scareme

plastic surgery. I've finally going to fix my....


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## Wyatt Furr

hump.Just becuse I live in South Bend, Indiana people have called me the Hunchback of.......


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## scareme

Notre Dame. Ever since I was a little kid,...


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## Wyatt Furr

ringing the bells in the church tower was my hobby.Now, I am into.....


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## GothicCandle

collecting scraps of cardboard. I like to make little houses with them and...


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## scareme

pretend everyone in them died from the Black Plague. Then I take their little bodies and...


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## DeathTouch

make little cookies out of them and feed them to the...


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## scareme

members of congress who...


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## psyko99

...were beginning to feed on themselves. Then suddenly a large walrus...


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## scareme

waddled up to the piano and started playing...


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## GothicCandle

Music from the hit broadway musical "Annie" after which...


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## scareme

the crowd went wild and started throwing....


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## GothicCandle

Broccoli. Then the walrus ran away to...


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## Wyatt Furr

get naked with Shamu at Sea World.Over at the penguin encounter,


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## turtle2778

the people were shocked to see the naughty penguin dance so they had to close the exhibit down. Down where the apes play,


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## Wyatt Furr

there was inappropriate scratching by a babboon.The Park Management.........


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## DeathTouch

had no choice but to sell tickets. They hired Jeff(FE) to make costumes and..


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## Frighteners Entertainment

do monkey make up for those who attended. DT (Markey, Mark) was 1st...


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## DeathTouch

in most iches scratched. He got an apple, a piece of Chocolate, and...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...cheese, lots of cheese. Mostly because...


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## GothicCandle

they were plotting an excape plan. The first step in the plan was...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...was to find the woman that keep saying "TROUBLE?...WHO ME?? NEVER"....


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## Lilly

, but the trouble with that is all women say that , so who could it be?


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## Wyatt Furr

Linsey Lohan was the guess of CNN ,but Fox News said it was.....


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## Adam I

Paris. Next was the ...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...long line at the cafeteria where Adam I was...


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## Wyatt Furr

serving up a pile of slop called,"Haunter's Surprize." It was made with .......


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## GothicCandle

sheep eyeballs and pig hooves. For desert there was....


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## ScareShack

chocalte cover worms with a side of blood for ur....


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...dipping pleasures. Meanwhile, back at ScareShack's place...


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## DeathTouch

the phone rang. Blockbuster was on the phone and wanted to know..


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## ScareShack

where the late overdue vid was of FE doing...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

..the "blue G-String dance" at DT's house?...


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## ScareShack

no that one was returned whilie


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## DeathTouch

Scareshack was looking for the receipt for the movie. But something was odd about the movie he had, it..


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## ScareShack

was not what it was supposed to be, and in a fit of rage..


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## DeathTouch

he put it up his nose. The whole family laughed when he tried to pull it out. It wasn't til..


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## ScareShack

the crime sceen investorgators showed up to determine that..


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## DeathTouch

that it wasn't the over due movie at all. It was three men and and an old lady. A classic that the family loved but not this


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## ScareShack

this time, they let all the victems leave the place..


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## Silent Requiem

alive, but without their pinky toe. Later they described...


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## scareme

the horror of it all, starting with


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## Wyatt Furr

the reinactment of Cher's Final Final Final Tour Finale number called.......


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## DeathTouch

Pinky Slip. I tail of two feet. There was only one problem..


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## Frighteners Entertainment

..DT didn't bring his tickets for the show, so...


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## DeathTouch

he showed them his underwear and got in. The problem now was he wasn't wearing any underwear so now..


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## Frighteners Entertainment

..looking to his friends for help...


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## DeathTouch

, Jeff, his biggest fan, gave him his only pair of Haunted undewear. It fit great but a little snug. It wasn't till later.


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...that he discovered that those "Haunted Underwear" were really haunted, so he...


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## DeathTouch

so he called up Ghost Haunters to work the steel out of his pants. It was going good till


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...they found the "dark areas", they were so scared...


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## DeathTouch

they decided to do a whole 24hr show on it. I couldn't believe that.


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## scareme

from all the people in Ghost Hunters, the one to show up was...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...a hobo and his cart...


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## scareme

, that was full of rotten fruit and devining rods that he used to


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## skeletonowl

continuly smack him with till suddenly this zombie...


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## scareme

ate him, turning him into a Zombie too. Together the two went into business as...


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## Wyatt Furr

Steve Lawrence and Edyie Gorme.Singing at the Stardust Casino one night,....


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## scareme

Tom Jones jumped up on stage and started


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## Wyatt Furr

hitting on Edyie. Steve,(the Zombie in disguise), then ate him during the production numer called.....


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## scareme

"You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet". The crowd cheered and threw...


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## GothicCandle

beets. Shortly afterwards they...


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## Wyatt Furr

went to the Super Salad Buffet for a midnight snack.After eating,......


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## AzKittie74

all the patrons and their shoes,they went to....


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## scareme

the midnight showing of Cher's new show. Cher shocked them all by wearing...


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## Wyatt Furr

clothing.The lights dimmed and she sang.......


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## GothicCandle

that gypsy song. Then she....


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## Frighteners Entertainment

..handed the mic over to Wyatt Fur, that's when...


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## QueenMorgueAna

All heck broke loose!! At first, no one could believe their eyes! But when they saw him......


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...do the birthday dance







, well...


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## skeletonowl

they screamed in terro and ran to get the...


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## DeathTouch

bathroom. Everyone could hear the water running afterwards and


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## Frighteners Entertainment

..this is only because DT plugged the toilets. So in ran the...


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## Adam I

vile odors wafting through the halls. Back at the stage a ...


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## psyko99

strange sound began to come from the rhythm section. It was the ghost of Tito Puente Sr. playing...


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## Wyatt Furr

"Barber of Seville".Furr's magnificent baritone voice soared thru the auditorium, making the little old ladies......


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## scareme

jump to their walkers, swoon, and drop their...


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## GothicCandle

eye glasses. When they bent down to pick them up...


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## Wyatt Furr

The orchestra got a panty flash from the entire first row.The first violin that was played by,....


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## scareme

GothicCandle was so bad that people said it sounded like...


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## Wyatt Furr

a truck full of banjo's that had overturned on the freeway. Gothic,ignoring the critics,picked up a.........


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## scareme

baseball bat and proceded to do things to that Violin no one had ever heard before. Soon Wyatt joined into the musical mishap on his...


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## Wyatt Furr

solar powered guitar.Those music lessons really paid off when the little old ladies in the front row requested.....


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## psyko99

that he play Innagaddadavida while standing on his head. Soon, the little old ladies...


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## scareme

figured out it was past their bedtime so they grabbed Wyatt and ...


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## DeathTouch

scareme and went to bed. Everything was going great till


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...someone pulled the covers over their heads....Wyatt Fur screamed....


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## Adam I

as the lights went out. Outside the door ...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

..whispering was heard, then a light knock....


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## psyko99

echoed through the house. It was ...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

Adam I whispering, hello, is that you?...


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## Wyatt Furr

"Is there room for another?".It was like a bad soap opera, as Adam I crawled...


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## scareme

down the hall looking for a hangover cure. FE mixed one up containing...


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## GothicCandle

curry powder, chopped gummy worms, and grilled lambs tongue. when he saw it he...


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## Wyatt Furr

drank it down so fast, it made him burp.It sounded like a.....


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## PrettyGhoul

*series of firecrackers going off. Adam I clasped his hands to his throat and...*


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## scareme

dropped to the floor. Writhing on the floor in pain, Adam whispered...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...why me...wwhhhhyy mmeeeeeeee?....


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## Wyatt Furr

"Why NOT you",Adam I looked up.Looming over him with an evil grin was......


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## scareme

little Lord Fauntleroy, dressed in the blue bunny suit his father made him wear for pictures. "I know, I hate this suit, but father...


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## PrettyGhoul

*"...made me start wearing it when I was not even a year old, forever damaging my delicate psyche and now I can't stop." With a strangled sob little Lord Fauntleroy leaped...*


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## GothicCandle

off a building. Down below...


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## scareme

the citizens of Gotham were suprised to see a strange shape in the sky. "It's a ...


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## HalloweenRick

plane, but no wait I think its a man, could it be.....


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## Wyatt Furr

Bunny Man? Defender of the Meek,Champion of Justice,and all-around-goody-two-shoes?Yes,yes, it was. Bunny Man hit the ground with a bounce and hopped over.....


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## HalloweenRick

the eight foot barbed wire tipped fence. But then his attention was diverted by a small carrot patch...


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## psyko99

Which was planted by a lonely spinstress. When she saw the little lord dressed like a bunny she...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...smiled, then pulled a long rusty object from here purse....


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## Wyatt Furr

It was the Magic Wonder Key."Use this to open the......


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## scareme

door of the house down the dark, haunted lane. It belongs to...


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## Wyatt Furr

the Adams Family."They're creepy and they're kooky,..........


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## scareme

mysterious and spooky...


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## Wyatt Furr

and all together ookly,The Adams Family. The tall dark Victorian Manse stood like a sentinal in the moonlight.The fool-hardy group of haunters consisted of Furr, Scareme,FE,and.........


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## PrettyGhoul

*...oddly enough a giant grinning carrot wielding a pitchfork and a slightly menacing looking Elmer Fudd armed with a double-barreled shotgun. Little Lord Fauntleroy (aka Bunny Man) gulped and started...*


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## GothicCandle

to hop away. he went to the door of a...


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## TheClovenBunny

quaint little cottage with a white picket fence and cotton candy pink tulips. But the cottage deceivingly housed....


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## Wyatt Furr

a children eating witch named Hazel.Hazel was hungry.........


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## scareme

cause she hadn't had anything to eat since Halloween tots and this was March. So she kindly invited the whole gang in for....


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## Wyatt Furr

waffles and Beer.On the wall was a portrait of Hazel's Great-Aunt Samantha, who was holding.....


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## scareme

a pair of candlesticks, the french flag and a spare tire. "That's great-aunt Sammy, before she ..........


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## GothicCandle

went insane. "over here is a her husband uncle...


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## Wyatt Furr

Jeff."We really do not know why he is wearing a feather boa in this picture,but we suspect it is because...........


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## Frighteners Entertainment

LOL ...it complimented his shoes, but no one really knows....


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## TheClovenBunny

which of the three feet he was wearing shoes on. He did have an bad habit of............


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## GothicCandle

triping people and then laughing. He always found some way to...


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## TheClovenBunny

entertain himself. But the REAL question is.....


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...why he looks so good in a boa?...


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## TheClovenBunny

LMFAO!!!!

And the truth of the matter is he.......


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## scareme

's been a crossdresser from way back, and no ones really sure which way his boat sails, but it doesn't really matter because...


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## GothicCandle

he dead. died in a...


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## TheClovenBunny

freak pantyhose incident. The turn out at his funeral was.....


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## Wyatt Furr

a sham.Uncle Jeff wasn't dead,only passed out from drinking too much......


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## scareme

bootleg gin strained through the same pantyhose he tripped on. That's why there was blood on them. In his fall, he cut his...


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## GothicCandle

foot off. The foot soared threw the air and landed...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

(LMAO ROTF!)...smack dab in the the dogs dish. With a surprised look....


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## psyko99

the dog stared at the severed foot hungrily. With globules of drool dripping from his gaping maw ...


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## scareme

he sniffed at it and thought "I may lick my own butt, but even I wouldn't touch a foot that smelled like...


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## GothicCandle

frogslegs." and with that the dog turned around...


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## Frighteners Entertainment

...and said "that's gonna leave a mark!" Meanwhile, back at....


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## scareme

the ranch there has been a rash of chicken rustling going on. The strangest part is, when we find the chickens, they're.....


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## GothicCandle

de-feathered but altogether fine. We think the one behind it is...


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## Spookineer

the mayor, who's been seen wearing a feather boa in the company of his chicken legged wife while attending the...


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## GothicCandle

spanish dance lessons that are held at the community center ever saturday. His wife...


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## TheClovenBunny

isn't much of a looker, but she can line dance like.........


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## GothicCandle

bugs bunny. Only hes better at...


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## psyko99

dancing the Electric Slide. While his wife was distracted trying to learn the Samba, the mayor...


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## GothicCandle

sliped outside for a smoke. While outside he saw the strangest thing...


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## TheClovenBunny

a dog faced man on stilts dragging a..........


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## Wyatt Furr

Parade Float of foam-headed theme park characters.Looking a bit on the scruffy side,.....


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## scareme

the dog faced man, who by the way is named Sy, asked the mayor for directions to ...


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## Wyatt Furr

Merry Magic Mountain Theme Park and Rehabilitation Center. The mayor laughed....


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## TheClovenBunny

to himself sarcastically, remember his own days of torment spent at the facility trying unsuccessfully to kick the carnie habit. Till this day he still sneaks off to......


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## GothicCandle

make balloon animals. he told the man....


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## Wyatt Furr

take a left on Elm St, then a right on Blair Witch Blvd.When you get to Rock Bottom Cemetary, take the lower fork in the road till you get to Vulture Hill, where you will see.....


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## GothicCandle

a big statue of a giant. next to that is...


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## Wyatt Furr

a beanstalk.Its the memorial to Jack, who singlehandedly....


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## scareme

helped the mayor break his carnie addiction (but that's a whole other story involving a Mack truck and a icecube tray. No one is sure why the memorial is a beanstalk. To this day the two rufuse to talk about it.). Anyway, Sy took off down the road and promptly became lost. He ended up stopping at....


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## Wyatt Furr

the nearby Tasty-Freeze.Sy asked the counter girl,"Hmmm, the hog thorax surprise looks tasty.What's in it?" She replied......


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## scareme

"We're not suppose to tell, but if you'll take me out after work I just might let the secret slip." Sy's little dog face blushed three shades of red as he answered...


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## Wyatt Furr

"I'll love to go out with you,were shall we meet?" She smiled,"Meet me at.....


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## TheClovenBunny

the end of the alley between Horror Ave and Trauma Blvd." Little did Sy know that the girl was part of an underground.............


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## Wyatt Furr

singing group called the Spatic Sopranos.They wore Viking helments and sang out-of -print showtunes in public while dancing with.........


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## Adam I

old trick knives. The scene that unfolded in front of Sy as he rounded the ...


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## Wyatt Furr

Acme Brain Depository on Nuthouse Square, was just short of amazing.The Square was filled with .............


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## Adam I

bloody beating hearts. The rain started coming down in buckets ...


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## Wyatt Furr

,real buckets.The clanging and clattering were frightful,so much that Sy.....


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## scareme

decided to skip the date with the counter girl and run for cover. Unfortunately, the building he ducked into was a warehouse for


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## Wyatt Furr

frozen longhorn steer colons.They are used in the Cosmetic Industry to help get rid of....


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## GothicCandle

freckles. It didn't always work though because...


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## DeathTouch

their freckles would always move out of the way when they applied the cream. They also used the cream for..


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## Dr Morbius

making cheese. Even though it smells like feet, they would eat it with....


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## TheClovenBunny

fried pies and Mimosas. That combination always brought out the......


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## randyaz

...gas-x and beano.


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## GothicCandle

But when they couldn't find that they brought out the....


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## SkullWerks

the plunger


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## scareme

and used it in areas that previously hadn't seen sunshine. "That's going to leave a mark." sighed Sy, as he crawled out to the...


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## Wyatt Furr

curb to watch the Disney on Ice Festival of the Seven Dwarfs Parade.Dopey made a bee-line for Sy's.....


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## Dr Morbius

Bashful parts, and as Sneezy and Grumpy as he was he was Happy to call a Doc who gave him pills which made him Sleepy. After he woke up,.....


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## SkullWerks

He realized he took the red pill not the blue pill


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## Dr Morbius

SkullWerks said:


> He realized he took the red pill not the blue pill


SW, Finish the sentence (which you did..funny BTW), the start a new one for someone else to finish...like so:

...which caused him to see how far the rabbit hole goes. Waking up in a strange place,.....


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## Adam I

with a nagging feeling that he was late. As he stepped out ...


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## Wyatt Furr

for a very important date. Sy came upon the Mad Hatter, who looked like.....


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## GothicCandle

elvis. The king told him to...


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## Wyatt Furr

go to Las Vegas and become a racecar driver and kiss Ann-Margaret. Sy said" wait didn't you already do that in the movie,......


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## scareme

and once the King has done it, who could top it?" Elvis agreed modestly, and asked Sy to sail to the seashore on the south of Spain to see a seniorita Sue selling several selections of sweet and sour sandwitches. "Ci" said Sy, and turned and walked into the street, not noticing ...


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## Wyatt Furr

that the young women selling flowers on the street corner looked oddly familar. Sy inquired," Might your name be Eliza Doolittle and does the Rain in Spain, fall mainly on the.....


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## scareme

red carpet?" Eliza replied, "Not if Gary Busey is there frightening young women with his...


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## Wyatt Furr

John Holmes Mega-Flashlight, that he bought at Sears on clearance. Eliza told Sy,"Go get your tux on, we dont want to miss the premiere of.....


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## De Caye

Skeletons in her Closet! It's a horror comedy about...


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## Dr Morbius

.."Wait Eliza," said Sy, "You'll spoil the ending for me." So Eliza got pissed and slapped Sy with a wet...


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## Wyatt Furr

bouquet of stinging nettles."That's gonna leave a mark",said the homeless man on the corner, who looked suspiously like...........


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## De Caye

Steve Martin.


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## scareme

"What's Steve Martin doing homeless?" asked Sy. " I didn't think his movies were that bad. Now Gary Busey I could see, but not Steve Martin." Eliza pouted "You're just trying to change the subject cause you don't want to talk about my...


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## De Caye

thermos that I got from Steve Martin. He's a Jerk, remember? And not just because he...


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## Wyatt Furr

played one in that movie.This thermos could be worth millions on E-bay,careful dont drop it,its full of........


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## De Caye

Hillary Clinton's Soul!! Monica has Bill's soul. It was last seen disguised as a shampoo bottle in the women's shower at the local YWCA. (check ebay if ya don't believe me)
So, whatever you do, do not take that thermos to....


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## Sickie Ickie

Mushnik's shop! I hear that plant is amazing, and no chemicals are allowed around it.

So, instead, take that thermos to


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## De Caye

the local toxic waste disposal site! If that soul is ever allowed to escape, it will


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## scareme

lead this country in a better direction that it's been going, but we aren't suppose to talk about that stuff here, so let's get back to the lighter stuff. "Who shall we kill and maim now?" asked...


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## De Caye

Cigarette Smoking man


----------



## scareme

,chain smoking yet another pack of cigarettes. Now that Mulder was gone, he turned his attentions towards the little boy who lives down the lane who's expecting a bag full of wool. But this little boy is in for a suprise cause the bag is full of...


----------



## De Caye

Alien remains!! "Yikes!" he screams. What am I going to do with this??
He decides the best thing to do with a bag of Alien body parts is


----------



## Wyatt Furr

ship it to Hollywood,where they will give them a make-over into the next American Idol.
But wait ,if Idol is already on television,then the alien contestant must be......


----------



## scareme

Paula Abdul. That would explain alot of questions. But what it wouldn't explain is....


----------



## De Caye

why the top of Simon's head is flat! It might be from all the hot air that comes out of his mouth creating a suction in his head. Oh well. I'm sure he would have something to say about


----------



## Wyatt Furr

Paula's strange behavior or the wierd fashion chocies of the contestants this year.But,wait they only thing he DOESN'T comment on is his lack of......


----------



## De Caye

lack of human compassion. Could it be that he's not human? Could he be from another planet or worse... from


----------



## PrettyGhoul

*...Glenmark Pharmaceuticals top secret A.I. robotic manufacturing division? Several anonymous sources at American Idol have observed...*


----------



## Wyatt Furr

oil leakage from his rear access panel.Or it just could be that he...


----------



## Adam I

has unique lifestyle off stage. Which would explain his ....


----------



## Wyatt Furr

passion for fast cars and loose women. Or maybe that's loose cars and fast......


----------



## skeletonowl

zebras. He of all people would know that...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

if you have a pec implant, one day it will sag.Then your saggy pecs will look like old lady boobs or even worse look like......


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

DT's hinney. You have to wonder if...


----------



## DeathTouch

...it can handle 20 Gs, like most aircrafts. But it makes me wonder..


----------



## De Caye

how the heck we got started talking about boobs and hineys!


----------



## RookieSpooker

So the topic suddenly changed to fluffy......


----------



## Wyatt Furr

mashed potatoes and gravy smeared on super models.But,who had his hands in the pot?
Could it be......


----------



## De Caye

Freddy Krueger?? He dreamt of mashed potatoes and other memories of home as a child. But somewhere along the way, he became perverted into a monster..... was it the sex or the violence or the lack there of?? He preyed on children. His thirst for their innocent blood was the force that kept him alive... their fear and their innocence fed his insatiable


----------



## PrettyGhoul

*...appetite. Meanwhile Wyatt and DeathTouch were up to no good; scurrying around...*


----------



## Wyatt Furr

the kitchen trying to assit Chef Krueger get ready for his Food Channel Network debut.
His show,"You Are Who You Eat",was targeting a unique audience, the "At-Home-Cannibal"and the......


----------



## DeathTouch

DT's show, Corpse or no Corpse. It was a hit. And soon..


----------



## Sickie Ickie

"Couch Potato Stew" crowd. I even heard that Bobby Filleted was going to make a special appearance as the


----------



## RookieSpooker

main course. And Sticky will be a contestant on Chopped Chef, a primetime show that follows...


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

...Edible Entrails. Coming to a town near you soon...


----------



## Adam I

the Entrapped Roadshow.With very special guests ...


----------



## Lilly

We use only the freshest available, cut your own, grill your own


----------



## skeletonowl

it tastes delicious don't be afraid to


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

... stick your fingers into the flames. Nothing better than...


----------



## scareme

charcoal broiled fingers dipped in two choices of sauce. Either puss mustard with horseradish, or my personal favorite....


----------



## RookieSpooker

microwaved spleen juice, with a side of.......


----------



## Wyatt Furr

liver and onions.Chef Furr determined to get his OWN show,plotted with the network excecutives,.......


----------



## scareme

to come up with a menu to offend everyone. For southerners, he fixed roadkill, fresh from the blacktop with...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

a side of fried green sawgrass.For dessert, a pecan shell pie topped with......


----------



## pyro

freeze dri grasshopers & sour milk,and the drink to top it all off....


----------



## Lilly

was a vile bile, he won't give out ,that recipe is a family secret so eat drink and


----------



## RookieSpooker

be afraid....be very afraid. But by all means.....


----------



## Wyatt Furr

buy his book,"There's a Furr in my Soup".With all the lastest tempting treats for breakfast, lunch or......


----------



## scareme

that pregancy craving you've been hankering for, but just couldn't put your finger on (or mouth around for that matter) such as jalapeno fried eggs over lemon drizzled lettuce or...


----------



## Silent Requiem

frenche fried eyeballs. but its so hard to find good eyeballs when...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

your craving goldfish and chips, wrapped in a bed of seaweed paper.
Furr's Uncle Wolfredo,owner and manager of the chic LottaMooseapoopa Inn right outside of scenic Not-So-Grand Canyon,Arizona, recommends for dinner the..........


----------



## Lilly

encrusted maggot filled -filet of pancreas with


----------



## Wyatt Furr

squirrel nut sauce,with that you get roasted cactus pods,(unskinned), and a garnish of poisonous sumac. for your choice of salad a....


----------



## scareme

bed of aged, slimy lettuce, rotten quail eggs, and peas made from play-doh. With all this good food in your tummy, you'll be sure to have pleasant nightmares about...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

what you spent at the Not-So-Grand Canyon Hotel and Gift Shop. Where for the small sum of 75 dollars,you came home with..........


----------



## Dr Morbius

a nasty case of bubbling diarhea causing rectal burning and vomiting. The skin welts though, were nothing compared to...


----------



## RookieSpooker

the oozing rashes around the...


----------



## Lilly

ready to burst eyeballs, which in turn cause the nose area to start


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

...to swell. The worst pain was ..


----------



## scareme

humiliation of knowing everyone was watching as you...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

broke into song with a pathetic and out-of tune version of," Oops,I did it again",thus ruining your chance to survive another week on Un-American Idol.Which for the past 8 weeks has been the top rated show in................


----------



## RookieSpooker

Transilvania. We reflect on last season when Lilly won the contest with her rendition of "BOO Suede Shoes". The runner-up was......


----------



## scareme

Wyatt furr with his heartbreaker "It's Not My Fault My Parents Were Brother And Sister". But what really brought the tears out was the rendition of...


----------



## De Caye

"Bats Entertainment" which was performed by the whole group. Even still, I was glad when the show was over because


----------



## Wyatt Furr

I was out of popcorn and there is only so much of Ryan Seacrest I can handle.Flipping channels on the cable box ,I found much to my surprize.....


----------



## RookieSpooker

a Facts of Life marathon. So I bundled up in a blanket and......


----------



## De Caye

set a barf bucket on the floor beside me and settled in for an evening of torture. In the first episode, Tootie


----------



## Wyatt Furr

auditioned for the lead in an all girl production of "Naked Boys Singing". Blair is upset as Jo has run off for a date with......


----------



## RookieSpooker

Her mother. Terrified at the thought of having a roomate as a step-lesbian, Blair decided to.....


----------



## DeathTouch

bring in a Doberman pincher and I half eaten marshmallow. This combination would scare anything with two legs. It was a good idea and I must say…


----------



## Dr Morbius

Watching the doberman chew up the cast of Facts of Life with a marshmallow topping was very satisfying. Just then, there was a....


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

... knock on the door. It was...


----------



## Dr Morbius

Deathtouch! He was wearing nothing but a...


----------



## DeathTouch

John Cleese. He was wearing women's clothing and asked if we would join him to hang around in bars. I told him not tonight John and I am..


----------



## Lilly

staying in and marking the map of where the Holy Grail was last spotted and...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

comparing reviews of the Las Vegas version of Spamalot.This week starring none other than.......


----------



## scareme

Tom Petty, Gene Wilder our own lovely Lilly and ...


----------



## Lilly

Scareme in the lead wearing the everlasting boa to


----------



## Wyatt Furr

offset the horrific costume they saddled her with. With Scareme as "The Lady of the Lake" and Furr as "King Arthur", the show was hailed by critics as ,"A light hearted romp through the Crusades",the New York Times said,.......


----------



## scareme

"And the first 100 through the door recieve a free Haunt Forum T-Shirt." Well, news like that is hard to ignore, so the next evening, lined up around the block, thousands of ...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

eager Haunt Forum Wanna-bees,hoping to see the show and get a free T.Suddenly there was a knock on the stagedoor,was it an adoring fan or........


----------



## De Caye

most probably the boss coming to tell us that he made no money this year and that we will not be getting a check. Judging from the email we got from him from Hawaii, we knew he was


----------



## Wyatt Furr

spending the last of the box office admissions on suntan oil and souviners.Madam De Caye,our resident diva,refused to give up,so she........


----------



## PrettyGhoul

*...told investors that she had taken over as Producer of Spamalot and sent Wyatt Furr to Hawaii to remove any possibility of embarrassing contradiction to her veracity. Madam De Caye also offered Lily a chance to...*


----------



## Wyatt Furr

Play "Christine" in the new production of "The Phantom of Manhatten".Lilly jumped at the chance to work with Andrew Lloyd ,hoping he would not notice her lack of.......


----------



## scareme

hair. Ever since that dreadful accident with the can of pea soup, the tricycle, and the lightening rod, Lilly has shaved her head because when it does grow in ...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

it looks like a Dolly Parton Wig.Of course,when Dollywood has its first annual,"Haunt Forum Fest", she can lead the parade and open the new ride called........


----------



## Lilly

Are you Haired Yet!!!..of course Wyatt to scared to go on the ride cuz he will lose all his furr ..ever see a naked furr,


----------



## scareme

The Scare-us Wheel. It goes nowhere except in circles, but provides hours of haunting entertainment. Kind of like lectures from...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

any one in Congress or a political candidate.Furr, embarrassed by his fraidy cat status, vowed to remedy that with a stiff drink right after the Dollywood Parade as it rounded the corner of...........


----------



## De Caye

Wig Street and Jugs Avenue. After finishing the first stiff drink, Furr decided that he needed more if he was going to brave.....


----------



## Wyatt Furr

the "Are you Haired Yet", Roller Coaster of Doom and the Scare-us Wheel.Luckily for Furr, the thousands of Dolly fans, with De Caye in the lead,were heading to.....


----------



## RookieSpooker

...the liquor store. 'Cause what could be more thrilling that getting plastered and...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

"tossing your cookies" in public, on an amusement ride.Because later ,when its posted on "You Tube" and your boss sees it, he'll say to you........


----------



## PrettyGhoul

*..."You are an embarrassment to this company and I've been searching for a reason to fire you for months." "However, I'd be willing to give you one more chance if you would introduce me to...*


----------



## scareme

Frightners Entertainment. I've read where he has 10,000 post and I want to see what the guy looks like that has ...


----------



## Bloodhound

The GREATEST Home Haunter Festival on the Planet and is the President of


----------



## Wyatt Furr

The Red Feather Boa Society of America.The Red Boa bunch routinely raids shopping malls and bowling alleys for cheap drinks and.........


----------



## Bloodhound

teenage boy's to recruit into their cult. However due to the alarming concern........


----------



## scareme

of a shortage of red feathers, the society is branching out to include black corsets and ...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

support garments of the unmentionable kind.Then Bloodhound, who was spotted at "Fredricks of Hollywood" trying on a..........


----------



## HibLaGrande

Gimp mask and talking to a necro-bestial midget with a very large....


----------



## scareme

assets. Bloodhound looked around slyly to see if anyone was watching, then stole a kiss from a salesclerk who looked alot like...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

Marge Simpson.The necro-midget, feeling slightly rejected, called out to Bloodhound,"You Cheating Son of a Biscuit Eater",which sounded alot like a song written by.......


----------



## Bloodhound

HibLaGrande, dedicated to the he loves "Wyatt Furr". Based on a torent relationship between Scareme and PrettyGhoul that started from an introduction at the necro-midget's.......


----------



## HibLaGrande

Scandinavian back woods trailer, during a mid morning..


----------



## Wyatt Furr

breakfast of cheese and pork rinds.Now that this is starting to sound like a bad "soap opera",excuse me,"daytime drama",people in Hollywood began to notice and called......


----------



## Bloodhound

an emergency meeting of ...........


----------



## Wyatt Furr

the head-honchos at Disney.Thinking this could make them money as an adult version of "High School Musical",they would call it,"Haunt High School Musical",starring......


----------



## Bloodhound

Zombie-F and the members of the Haunt Forum, only if..........


----------



## Wyatt Furr

they took singing and dancing lessons from Paula Abdul.Most of the folks agreed to this, while some others........


----------



## randyaz

...thought it would be better to take Donny and Marie's online course entitled "Im alittle bit country and Im alittle bit rock n roll Guide to Horror Acting". But once they realize it required them to have all their teeth they opted to....


----------



## Bloodhound

skip the Donnie and Maries online course. Quickly implementing plans to contact Night of the living dead for................


----------



## HibLaGrande

Immediate corpseification and detoxification so they can appear in the upcoming new ....


----------



## scareme

zombie flick, "Zombies Gone Wild, Spring Break". Set in not so sunny Miami, Oklahoma, and starring ...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

David Hasslehoff and Kathy Griffith. Playing a newly married couple who sells erotic vegatable windchimes, they are caught............


----------



## Fangs

in a terrible storm and are forced to eat their windchimes. Having lost all power because of downed powerlines........


----------



## Wyatt Furr

our couple heads toward a castle that has its lights on.The sound of music reaches them as they approach,"Does'nt that sound like the Time Warp", David questiions, "or is it.........


----------



## Spookineer

dueling banjos?" Suddenly, running towards them naked and squealing like a pig, they see the ghost of...


----------



## randy2084

Jim Varney (of Ernest P. Worrell infamy). He shouts, "Vern! Vern! You gotta get me out of this!!" Kathy Griffith turns to David Hasslehof and says, "My agent told me..."


----------



## scareme

there would be no nudity in this film. If Jim thinks he is going to get away with that I'm going to...


----------



## Lilly

Call Regis and tell him that his little trumpet kelly can have this part since her walkway run looks like a flamingo on Park.....


----------



## Wyatt Furr

Avenue in a snowstorm. Regis, still upset for being passed over in favor of Hasslehoff,yelled into the phone," I can do this, let me take my daily dose of.........


----------



## Bloodhound

Viagra". Now Regis, Kelly, and Kathy Griffith meet at........


----------



## Wyatt Furr

the entrance to the Bat Cave and decide to hatch a plan to dispatch Hasselhoff to that great surfboard in the sky.Kelly flips her hair and squeaks," This Bat Suit is pinching my.....


----------



## Bloodhound

moles on my lower back and pulling the hairs off my chest. Regis meanwhile suffering the effects of the viagra and sporting a.............


----------



## Wyatt Furr

nose erection,(see what happens when you inhale?),tried to squeeze himself into the lycra BatSuit. After many attempts and some major suit tearing,Regis suddenly realized that he had accidently exposed himself to..............................


----------



## Bloodhound

the magic mirror. In complete embaresment, Regis stood tall and proud then asked in a rather meek and timid voice "magic mirror on the wall.........


----------



## Lilly

I know I'm the hunkiest of them all ..now who , now who can it be that dares to take this moment from me".....


----------



## scareme

Why it's Johnny Depp, and he's pretty mad about...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

this whole "BatCave" nonsense , since this is really the "Haunted Grotto" on the Pirates of the Caribean ride in Disneyland. Which would explain all the boats filled with overweight tourists, that as they pass Regis point and yell,"...............


----------



## Bloodhound

What is that hanging out of your Bat Suit? Have you lost your...........


----------



## De Caye

screwdriver again? You'd better put that thing away before a big ole Robbin (pardon the pun) comes along and bites it off! Then you'll be half a bat for the rest of your life! In the mean time, you can use my


----------



## PrettyGhoul

*...cellphone to call your wife to come pick you up before Disney security does. Suddenly an ominous flash of lightning ripped through the sky hitting...*


----------



## Wyatt Furr

a slightly druck Linsey Lohan, who was in Disneyland that day promotimg her new movie,"Herbie goes to The Betty Ford Clinic".The reviews were not kind and the Los Angeles Times Said,"................


----------



## Bloodhound

"Linsey Lohan, hit suddenly by an ominous flash of lightning while promoting her new movie at Disney. It's been reported that Lohan had to much to drink prior to being hit and was last seen blazing her way toward Dumbo, when she stumbled and fell at the......................"


----------



## DeathTouch

Clown tent..The last thing she heard was "I about seen just about everything when I see a bimbo...."


----------



## Dr Morbius

asking Dr Morbius for pictures and videos in his MOSFET thread! "I wouldn't call Deathtouch a Bimbo", replied....


----------



## DeathTouch

Mrs. Morbius. I would call him a tramp and a ....


----------



## Dr Morbius

slut, but not a bimbo. Hearing this, Deathtouch undid his bra strap, and...


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

began to dance the macarana. Before Doc could say "no way"...


----------



## DeathTouch

showed his man boobs. The crowed cheered. It wasn't till after they found that...


----------



## Dr Morbius

they were implants. FE popped each one like a balloon, when suddenly....


----------



## Bloodhound

everyone noticed that the inside of the implants were filled with enough alcohol, they................


----------



## Wyatt Furr

burst into flames.Thinking this was another low budget entertainment offering,the crowd went wild cheering,"..........


----------



## Bloodhound

Get the marshmallows. The flames were hot, loud and reached almost twenty feet up into the air. Not knowing what to do or say, I found a rock and sat on it waiting to see what .........


----------



## scareme

would happen next. I knew if I waited long enough something unusual would turn up. Sure enough after several minutes, Beaver Cleaver walked out of...


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

tool shed. Looking much like a circus clown....


----------



## Bloodhound

and said "I am the new official juggling, bare-back riding clown of the Barnum & Bailey Circus. Training was hard at first, because I kept dropping all of the chainsaws they made me juggle, and the chinese firecrackers scared the horse I was riding. But I've managed to get the hang of it, and it's really quite fun now, despite my missing limb. Oh, and I also met Bob. Bob is a great guy, he told me I could live in his trailer with him, and he treats me real good. Did I mention that he's got a great job as well? He's the main attraction of our freakshow, and boy is he good at it! I'm very proud of him and all he's been able to accomplish, considering he's half-elephant, half-man, and only 2 and a half feet tall. He told me the other day that the circus was the only place that would hire him after he got out of prison for killing those men a few years back. Anyway, he asked me to marry him and I said yes; we've already set the date, and the rubber man and the "World's Only Seal-Girl" have agreed to be our respective best man/maid of honor. I do feel that maybe I'm rushing things a bit, since I haven't known him for very long, but I'm...........


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

that isn't the first time I've (bloodhound) have been in this situation. As I remember it ...


----------



## Bloodhound

was back on page 36. But that was a long time ago. Now Beaver Cleaver and the big F.E. started this......


----------



## scareme

rumor about Bloodhounds fear of commitment. But it's not true. I'm sure Bloodhound will be commited to the nuthouse any day, as soon as they find out about...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

the "Flaming Poo Incident", which was headline news for a week on Fox News and CNN. Seems this "incident" invloved Bloodhound ,two Strippers,a pack of Coor Light and Linsey Lohan,with a eco-friendly shopping bag from Bloomingdales filled with fresh arrdvark doo-doo and .................


----------



## scareme

dead fish. It might have all passed unnoticed if it hadn't happened at a church. Now the Christian coalition has a sling they want to put Bloodhound's ...


----------



## DeathTouch

balls in a sling. It wasn't until this goofer with lots of zits on his face wanted too..


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

DT to dinner. Upon the delivery of dessert, Dt realized that...


----------



## DeathTouch

he should never buy toliet paper from Aldi. All it does is..


----------



## Wyatt Furr

clog your pipes.As he had ordered Bananas Foster but had gotten Bananas Forester,which is just like Bananas Foster, only a bit more woody and since DT was trying to cut down on his intake of fiber,he passed the plate over to FE who as always, ate everyones leftovers.
At the next table Furr and Scareme,trying to enjoy a peaceful dinner,were annoyed at the sound of the tablesaw as FE tried to cut into his dessert and DT screaming,".......


----------



## scream1973

Merry Christmas to all and to all ...


----------



## Spookyboo

Until someone got in their face and


----------



## scareme

and asked them to "Please hold it down." FE and DT, not knowing what that means, grabbed Wyatt and held him down on the floor. Scareme tried pulling them off Wyatt but got no where until she bared her fangs and bit them in the...


----------



## Wyatt Furr

keesters.Howling from the butt bites the boys took off ,while Wyatt got Scareme a glass of "O" negative to wash out the funky taste in her mouth,the boys ran to the nearest Walgreens to pick up some...............


----------



## Lilly

garlic and flea spray...meanwhile


----------



## Spookyboo

A giant hole opened up in the ground and


----------



## Bloodhound

with a horrible sound and a rumble out from the depths of hell came the most hidious, rabid, earthworm ever to see the light of day. The worms appetite for.......


----------



## Spookyboo

fake fingernails, had the little debutantes running with fear, of course they all fell down and


----------



## Wyatt Furr

broke severel heels and a gucci handbag.The Worm, who went by the name of Willy,was amazed at the amount of debutantes it takes to screw in a lightbulb,so slimed over to Home Depot to pick up a............


----------



## Spookyboo

A sales girl named freddricka he had been dating for over a month now he knew he should break it off but she was able to get such good discounts and you just cant have to many phillips head screw drivers but.....


----------



## Bloodhound

once freddricka meet the debutantes. Willy just knew with a little bit of luck and a complete makeover..........


----------



## scareme

he could make it on the "Big Screen". His first movie he got a part in was...


----------



## Spookyboo

How to turn garbage into soil ......he is back and this time with a vengence
it was a


----------



## Wyatt Furr

amazing performance inspite of the fact Willy 's command of the english language was non-comprehensible.The Artsy-Fartsy crowd loved it,and soon he was nominated for a .....


----------



## Spookyboo

Academy award though they couldnt come up with a catagory in which to present it so they


----------



## scream1973

ended up having to disqualify it because


----------



## Wyatt Furr

Willy ate the accounting firm of Smith and Wesson. Who is the offiical counter of all the ballots in a secret vault somewhere in the city of.......


----------



## Spookyboo

El segundo which of course is known for its elaborate displays of


----------



## Bloodhound

muppet mania. The muppet master and creator, Sickie Ickie.......


----------



## Spookyboo

tantalize the crowd with baudy humor although several time the police


----------



## scareme

warned him about his off colored jokes and bad language. But Sickie just told the police to ...


----------



## Spookyboo

Stick their nightsticks somewhere useful you know like your


----------



## Bloodhound

Wife's secret place. That's just the kinda thing that would alway's get "The Muppet Master" into a tight.....


----------



## Spookyboo

spot but he was so hilarious a good beating was all that was due and then he could wake up alone in an alley this was ok because


----------



## Bloodhound

in the city of El segundo it is socially acceptable to give a good beating to an Off The Wall Muppet Master with off colored jokes and bad language. As soon as the police were finished with Sickie......


----------



## Spookyboo

He usually went right back to his act. However this was not the only thing happening in El Segundo...


----------



## HibLaGrande

A new metal band named "The Minstrel Psychos" came roaring into town riding...


----------



## tonguesandwich

Hibla's mom, was sore for many years, after giving birth to a boy with such fine horns.


----------



## Dr Morbius

Luckily, she had a tongue sandwich which she used to sooth said sores....(Oh this is going downhill fast!)....


----------



## Wyatt Furr

and get her a spot on,"America's Got Talent". Her gynocologist,Dr. Morbius, was the Head of Surgury at El Segundo General Memorial Hospital and he said, I quote,"......


----------



## Bloodhound

"Just how many year's did you spend in the desert? When was the last time......


----------



## scream1973

that you applied moisturizing cream to your ..


----------



## Bloodhound

inner thighs? They really do look as if you have had way to many.....


----------



## scream1973

(Oh this could go sooo badly)..

nasty abrasions from...


----------



## Bloodhound

giving birth to a boy with such fine horns." After this horrible incident Hibla's mom simply vanished. Never to be seen..........


----------



## PrettyGhoul

*again. HibLaGrande grew into a great strong boy with heroic dreams involving...*


----------



## Bloodhound

but certainly not limited to joining a metal band named "The Minstrel Psychos" as a ...............


----------



## DeathTouch

Fluffer. He had trouble at first but later became really...


----------



## tcarter

Dude, Are you (expletive deleted due to paranoia and homophobia)?


----------



## DeathTouch

tcarter said:


> Dude, Are you gay?


Are you seriouly asking me if I am gay?


----------



## tcarter

no, just finishing the sentence, why are you?


----------



## DeathTouch

tcarter said:


> no, just finishing the sentence, why are you?


Yeah right. It so looked like it.


----------



## tcarter

reread my original post. my apologies to digging up any bad vibes. I thought this was a game.


----------



## DeathTouch

It certainly is a game Tcarter. But after checking out your response, it didn't match that of how the game was being played and when I asked if you were serious, you again asked me if I was gay. That certainly isn't part of the game tcarter.


----------



## Dr Morbius

The mods are aware of this guys, please no more exchanges here publically. Take it to PM's please.


----------



## Bloodhound

DeathTouch said:


> Fluffer. He had trouble at first but later became really...


really good at what he did. No matter the town or the people or the sound's emitting from deep within his skull. He finally found his .........


----------



## randyaz

...his special purpose


----------



## Lauriebeast

and that was


----------



## randyaz

a sensitive issue


----------



## Lauriebeast

that he never spoke of


----------



## randyaz

even though those who had never met him instantly knew


----------



## Bloodhound

that his mind was scrambled and his thought's were mush. If you had to describe his facial features you would say...........


----------



## Moon Dog

that somehow you are able to keep your lunch down in spite of the view your eyes just took in... 
but what was the weirdest thing was the way that he walked, which could only be described as...


----------



## Lauriebeast

constipation!


----------



## randyaz

So after consuming mass quantities of Exlax he went shopping at WalMart


----------



## Lauriebeast

and suddenly felt this horrific grumbling in his abdomen


----------



## randyaz

searching for a stall he found there was no...


----------



## Lauriebeast

cause for alarm because the grumbling had stopped.


----------



## randyaz

So with the crisis averted he...


----------



## Lauriebeast

proceeded to the makeup aisle to buy


----------



## Bloodhound

A large container of skin cream. As he picked the skin cream up he was suddenly transported back in time, not really leaving. But his mind slipped away for an unknown period of time dirfting in and out of the thoughts of his mother and way she had to walk all those years after his birth. 
While standing there in his dreamlike state, a rumble and a roar with the horrid stinch and wet warm feeling running down his pant leg's..............


----------



## Lauriebeast

Oh No! he cried in disbelief. I thought those Depends were supposed to be dependable....I'll sue the bastages for....


----------



## randyaz

gross disfigurement as the highly acidic excrement burned the flesh to the bone and the ensuing flesh eating bacteria spread throughout the surface of my body. Having blead all over the floor the isle cleanup girl inadvertantly...


----------



## Lauriebeast

Yelled over the loudspeaker "Cleanup on aisle 666"


----------



## Bloodhound

At that very moment as hundreds of shoppers ran for thier lives. Down isle 666 walked none other than.......


----------



## Lauriebeast

Vampiress Morbidia! who immediately....


----------



## Bloodhound

fixated upon the scene and slowly turned wrapping her arm's around his.....


----------



## Lauriebeast

shopping cart full of beauty supplies, saying....


----------



## Bloodhound

"Look deep into my eye's Darling------No, no My eye's are higher up Darling. There. Now fixated upon her gaze..........


----------



## Lauriebeast

She told him that she wouldn't go near what was left of that disgusting mess of a neck if he was the last meal on earth. Then she proceeded to....


----------



## Bloodhound

clean isle 666 and wait in the dressing room for her............


----------



## Lauriebeast

Mistress to arrive with a change of clothing. Knowing how angry Lauriebeast would be about the mess all over her outfit from cleaning up, she thought about just walking out of the dressing room, and going.....


----------



## randyaz

Ms Wicked's for a box of wine and a...


----------



## Lauriebeast

freshly built coffin


----------



## Bloodhound

Vampiress Morbidia could not resist the temptation and arrived at Ms Wickeds only to find........


----------



## Lauriebeast

MsWicked herself, sound asleep in that beautiful new coffin, clutching an empty box of wine to her bossom with the strangest...


----------



## Bloodhound

glimmer of drizzle running down from the corners of her mouth. This caught the attention of Vampiress Morbidia like...........


----------



## Lauriebeast

like a fruit bat to a ripe mango. As she studied the image before her, she slowly.....


----------



## Bloodhound

Bent over her and licked the shimmering substance from the corners of Ms Wicked's mouth then.....................


----------



## randyaz

her hubby came home...


----------



## Bloodhound

looking for his darling wife, peeked around the corner and found an empty case of wine and following the bottles like a trail into the woods he found them ..........


----------



## Lauriebeast

digging for mushrooms the MsWicked was going to put in her....


----------



## Bloodhound

pasta for the next make and take. MrWicked couldn't help but to admire the the double full moon before him. Just standing there in a zombie like trance unaware that................


----------



## RoxyBlue

...his suspenders were loose and his pants were about to...


----------



## gypsichic

drop to his ankles while he tried to..............


----------



## Spooky1

keep in control, an over whelming hunger ....


----------



## RoxyBlue

for a Domino's pizza hit, so he scrambled to..


----------



## Spooky1

..the nearest phone. As he put the phone to his ear he realized there was no dial tone, the phone was...


----------



## gypsichic

clogged with an oozing ...........


----------



## rottincorps

cheesie smegma,that ate human ......


----------



## RoxyBlue

nature. As it touched his face, he was suddenly overcome with a feeling of being...


----------



## Spooky1

still dang hungry for that pizza. So he begins to ......


----------



## gypsichic

blow bubbles


----------



## RoxyBlue

...hoping it would attract the attention of a wayward pizza delivery guy. When that failed, he decided...


----------



## Bloodhound

the only way to get the attention he craved was to lift his.......


----------



## Dark Angel 27

shirt and show off his man boobs. The pizza dude's eyes got as wide as...


----------



## Dr Morbius

2 Xtra large combination pizzas dripping with cheese. He knew at that moment that he....


----------



## randyaz

...was a freak of nature because moobs are not supposed to look that...


----------



## Bloodhound

with that deer in the headlight look the pizza dude.............


----------



## randyaz

giggled down the street.


----------



## RoxyBlue

Suddenly night fell with a sound like thunder rolling in the distance, eerie yet soothing. A sense of peace came upon him and somehow his hunger and having man boobs no longer seemed...


----------



## Spooky1

important, since he now noticed a zombie was chewing on his.....


----------



## Bloodhound

billfold and thought to himself *Why didn't I feel that?* Blood dripping from his.........


----------



## RoxyBlue

left nostril, he reached into his left pocket for a hankie and pulled out...


----------



## Great White

..some monkey spit he got from the old witch. Monkey spit always works against zombies, but as he pulled the vile out, he noticed a horn honking and head lights coming straight at him when he.......


----------



## Bloodhound

Turned to see who was about to run him down. He notice the pizza guy and like the beach scene with Bo Derek everything went into slow mo. The vile of monkey spit.........


----------



## Spooky1

suddenly exploded, immolating the zombie and ...


----------



## Bloodhound

the pizza guy! You couldn't understand nor can I possibly describe the effects of the combined reactions of Monkey Spit, Zombie and Pizza Guy. All I can say it this was the most horrid.............


----------



## RoxyBlue

story line ever written since the one about "It was a dark and stormy night".

As the man rose from the curb where he had fallen, wiping stray shreds of immolated pizza guy and zombie from his face, he noticed a strange glow emanating from...


----------



## Spooky1

a pizza box at his feet. As his hunger overcomes his caution, he opens the box to discover ....


----------



## Dr Morbius

..that the Zombie's bits had somehow infected was was left of the pizza. Pulsating, the pizza opened what could only be described as "eyes" and let out a horrible scream. Horrified, the guy...


----------



## gypsichic

clutched his chest, spun around on his heel, heaved several times tossing his cookies into the gutter. He shakily reached for the pizza box and...........


----------



## Spooky1

... picking the zombie anchovies from the pizza and eating them, driven by his unquenchable hunger. As he swallowed he began to ....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...experience a strange sensation, as if he were about to transmogrify into something grotesque and horrifying, something like....


----------



## DeathTouch

Big Bird trying to swallow a golfball thru a garden hose. It wasn't till later when...


----------



## Spooky1

he began to shamble down the street. He was looking for something, but he couldn't ....


----------



## bignick

remember due to all the paint he had huffed with elmo and animal behind...


----------



## RoxyBlue

...Fraggle Rock. Confused and dazed, he tried to remember his name, his home, what children's show he may have been involved with. In his despair, he decided to climb the nearest tree and....


----------



## Monk

... build a bird's nest. He thought it was a delightful idea until he realized...


----------



## Fangs

.... half way up the tree, that it was much too small. He fell to the ground in a mangled mess and all he could think about was.......


----------



## bignick

Steeler's Wheel's song "Stuck in the middle". As he sat next to the busted tree a van drove by with a sign on the side of it that read...


----------



## Spooky1

... Big Nick's House of Zombies. The van suddenly comes to a screeching halt and the doors fly open to reveal ....


----------



## bignick

three body bags that seem to have live people trapped inside them. Two men in chemical suits get out of the van dragging out the body bags and then hurrying back to the van. The van speeds off leaving the bodybags with whatever is inside tearing at the inside of the bags. Suddenly...


----------



## RoxyBlue

...a flock of monstrous ravens swoop down upon the squirming bags, crying "dibs, dibs!". The man, vaguely aware that the scene is mildly reminiscent of an episode of "Fringe" he had just watched, scrambles to his feet as the ravens tear a huge hole in the first bag and drag out....


----------



## bignick

A man that has had at least half of his flech removed from his right side of his body. Screaming in agony and despair the birds pick off the rest of the flesh peck by peck. The birds tear into the the other body bag and begin tearing...


----------



## Spooky1

.. at the wrapped candy in each of the body bags. As the ravens fly off full to the beak with flesh and candy they .....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...defecate on the man's head (let's call him Oscar), since that's what birds do when they take off. Disgusted, Oscar wipes his face on his sleeve and heads for a nearby coffee shop, hoping to find...


----------



## bignick

a starbucks for a nice cup of joe. When to his surprise all he can see are...


----------



## RoxyBlue

...large pumpkin headed creatures carrying protest signs denouncing the serving of pumpkin spice lattes. One of them spies Oscar and, raising his sign,....


----------



## Firedawg

...with glowing red eyes, smacks the puzzled man in the back of the head and the yells out...


----------



## Spooky1

.. lets carve eyes, a nose and a mouth in his head and see how he likes it. As the creatures come nearer with a knife and a candle in hand, he ....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...jumps into a nearby phone booth and, in a flash, becomes...


----------



## Spooky1

incontinent. He begins to wonder where this phone booth came from and why ....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...it has no toilet paper in it. Cautiously, he stepped back into the street and...


----------



## Spooky1

... the smell from his soiled clothing repels the creatures. As they back away from him (remember this is Mr. Wicked) he suddenly ...


----------



## RoxyBlue

....sees Ms Wicked approaching with a plate of.....


----------



## Spooky1

Christmas cookies! As Ms. Wicked sees the state of Mr. Wicked she .....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...cries out in an agitated voice....


----------



## Spooky1

what have you gotten into now? As Ms. Wicked approaches Mr. Wicked, the lurking creature .....


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

in tight boxer shorts....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...grabs the cookies and...


----------



## randyaz

dipped Ms Wicked into the milk which caused the pads in her padded bra to swell...lifting and separating...she now rivals Dolly Parton. When the girls at the office saw her they


----------



## RoxyBlue

....threatened to scratch her eyes out for being such a...


----------



## Spooky1

...well endowed hottie. Ms. wicked then ...


----------



## RoxyBlue

bitch-slapped the office girls for being so catty and then..


----------



## Spooky1

.. got an unexpected raise from her boss. She then ...


----------



## Ms. Wicked

decided to celebrate by...


----------



## randyaz

initiating a sexual herassment suit winning millions of dollars which she blew on wine, porn, dresses, and shoes. It was her unibrow that swayed the jury because the judge had instructed them to...


----------



## RoxyBlue

...avoid looking at her Partonesque chest, and the unibrow earned her their sympathetic pity. After spending her millions, she decided to...


----------



## randyaz

move to a tropical island. She brush hogged her unibrow and shed her home sewn dress. There she opened a minimalistic beach hut type resort complete with nude beach. She can still be found there today...lying nude in the sand drinking wine and continually plucking at her unibrow. Then one day during a photo shoot she felt something in the sand beneath her. Digging, she found...


----------



## Spooky1

..a chest. Not a chest as ample as hers, but with thoughts of pirate treasure she opens the chest and found....


----------



## randyaz

a beautiful pair of diamond encrusted tweasers. She thought to herself, how fortunate, considering her ongoing battle with the unibrow. Alas though, upon further inspection the diamonds turned out to zircon and had a zombie curse on them. So, upon plucking the first brow hair, she was instantly...


----------



## Haunted Bayou

growing a new hair on another part of her body for every eyebrow hair plucked. "Cursed tweezers" , she said. "How is this possible? Who could have done such a thing?" She fell to the ground beating her ample chest....


----------



## Spooky1

..which, she noticed had begun to sprout hair. She then rushed to ...


----------



## RoxyBlue

..the nearest House of Electrolysis, hoping for immediate assistance with her increasingly hirsute state. As she entered the shop,...


----------



## Ms. Wicked

she heard a strange noise. Startled, she turned and...


----------



## Spooky1

sees a large "Cousin It" like pile of hair moving toward her. She turns to flee, but ....


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

realized Spooky1 was standing on her toe. While trying to....


----------



## RoxyBlue

get her feet loose, she accidentally pushed Spooky1 into the Cousin It-ish pile of hair. She watched in horror as the pile containing Spooky1 turned into...


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

a really hot ....


----------



## randyaz

wolf girl. As it so happened Ms Wicked had brought along her zircon encrusted and zombie cursed tweasers. Seems that in the presence of the tweasers the "cousin It" shead her hair to reveal the lucious young epicurist. However, this provided no relief for poor Ms Wicked as her hairiness was now ...


----------



## RoxyBlue

covering almost 90% of her body. In desperation, Ms Wicked turned to the beautiful wolf girl and said...


----------



## randyaz

"Ummm...could I borrow some of your Nair?" Wolf girl replied "You didnt have your folification problem until you got the zombie cursed zircon encrusted tweasers and in the presense of the tweasers I revert to my bodaciously beautiful human form. I'll trade you my Nair for your tweasers, a kraffe of your wine, that prono picture of you on the beach...in the sand, and that special thing you keep in the top drawer of your nightstand". Ms Wicked, wringing her hands and dreading the thought of giving up her "special thing", mulled the offer over and replied...


----------



## RoxyBlue

"Look, it's Godzilla!". When the wolf girl turned to look, Ms. Wicked snatched the Nair from her hand and bolted for the nearest...


----------



## Spooky1

phone booth, only she couldn't find one anywhere. The really hot wolf girl leaped to pursue Ms. W, but she was still entangled with Spooky1 and she ....


----------



## RoxyBlue

tripped and landed on her a$$. As Spooky1 gallantly reached out to help the wolf girl up, Ms. Wicked suddenly returned and...


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

with a flick of her wrist and wave of her wand...


----------



## RoxyBlue

transferred all her hair from her body to the wolf girl's. She then grabbed Spooky1 by the arm and shouted...


----------



## Frighteners Entertainment

"hey...looked what I found. It's..."


----------



## Spooky1

a really hot looking guy, can I keep him? I'll only ....


----------



## Bloodhound

keep him here to clean the house... I promise. Now what did you say about..........


----------



## RoxyBlue

...buying some cleaning supplies and starting to wait on me hand and foot?" Ms. Wicked pointed Spooky1 in the direction of the nearest Walmart and then...


----------



## Spooky1

runs off before the Wolfgirl remembers about her Nair. The Wolfgirl then ...


----------



## Don Givens

remembered she forgot something but she couldn't remember what it was. So she....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...turned to Ms Wicked and said...


----------



## Don Givens

do you have change for the bus? I seem to have misplaced my


----------



## randyaz

coin purse. Ms Wicked opened her wallet and while digging the wolf spyed the zircon encrusted tweasers. With cat like reflexes wolf girl snached the tweasers away and ran off down the boulevard. Instantly the wolf girl turned back into the smooth skined beauty that try mens souls. Instantly too, Ms Wickeds unibrow returned...bushier than before and her push up brazier began to...


----------



## RoxyBlue

expand to such an uncomfortable degree that Ms. Wicked reached under her shirt, unsnapped it, and flung it like a gaucho's bolo at the fleeing wolf girl. The hugely inflated brassiere caught the wolf girl around the neck, causing her to...


----------



## randyaz

fall and scrape her knee. Ms Wicked ran to her to recover the zircon encrusted tweasers but her now unbounded boosums began to ocillate asychronously. The faster she ran the more they enlongated beating her in the face. First the right then the left she could only see out one eye at a time. Desparate to recover the tweasers she ran even harder, attempting to hold down the wildy flailing boosums which by now had blacked both her eyes. Half blinded and boosums hurting she approached...


----------



## Spooky1

the injured wolf-girl. In a classic cat fight over the tweezers .....


----------



## randyaz

the kinetic energy of the flailing boosums struck wolf girl upside her head and rendered her defensless. Loosing her grasp on the tweasers she once agin returned to her furball existance. Regainging control of her boosums, ms wicked grasped the tweasers and fled. She had finally defeated the wolf girl for once and for all. However, as she rounded the corner of the barely lit street a new challenge approached her. Out of the shadows appeard the dreaded...


----------



## Dr Morbius

..pop-singer, Britney Spears. Brandishing a Pepsi, she flashed her...


----------



## Spooky1

lint encrusted belly button and ...


----------



## Don Givens

sweaty tummy folds then said, "stop! I've come to warn you about ........


----------



## Spooky1

but before she could warn Ms. Wicked, a swarm of paparazzi over whelm Britney in a mass of flesh and cameras. Then one paparazzi notices Ms. Wicked and ...


----------



## Don Givens

says' " Pardon me. Is that a real poncho or is it a Sear's Poncho". Whereupon Ms. Wicked said' "I'm sorry but you have me confused with .............


----------



## RoxyBlue

someone who gives a damn!" As the paparazzi stared dumbfounded, Ms. Wicked turned on her heel and....


----------



## Don Givens

began to stutter. I.. I.. I need to ...ge..ge..... get.... a...a...a....way from here be...be...fore I go..................


----------



## RoxyBlue

..c-c-c-completely MAD!" At that moment, a short bus came by with doors and windows hanging open. Ms Wicked leaped aboard and.....


----------



## Don Givens

blended in with the rest of the ..................


----------



## Ms. Wicked

Partridge Family Fan Club. But after riding around for hours singing "_I Woke Up in Love This Morning_" , she knew she couldn't hide from the fact that....


----------



## Don Givens

the rest of the fan club consisted of .................


----------



## RoxyBlue

gargoyles and demons wearing mini skirts and blond wigs. At the next stop, Ms Wicked made a graceful exit and stepped into...


----------



## Spooky1

a bus filled with a Brady Bunch fan club and a shout rang out, she looks like Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!


----------



## RoxyBlue

"Lordy." thought Ms Wicked, "Can't I get a moment's peace?" Grabbing the steering wheel and shoving the driver out of the seat, Ms Wicked pulled the bus over, slammed on the brakes, and...


----------



## Don Givens

( 3 months later in a sleezy dark Las Vegas Alley)

Where am I? The last thing I remember I had commandeered a bus from a bunch of weirdos chanting Marsha, Marsha Marsha. OMG, it's all coming back. Quickly searching her pockets for the tweezer's Ms. Wicked instead found a note which said...........


----------



## randyaz

"Your moving to Montana soon. You will become a dental floss tycoon. Find you a horse, just about this big, take the Zircon-encrusted tweezers and ride along the border with the tweezers gleamin' in the moon-lighty night. P.S. Its real angora". Puzzled by meaning of the note...


----------



## Don Givens

and not knowing the whereabouts of her tweezers, Ms. Wicked stumbled out of the alley in search of a stables. She had not gone very far when she saw.......


----------



## RoxyBlue

...a Budweiser wagon coming down the street drawn by 12 magnificent Clydesdales. Acting quickly, she...


----------



## Spooky1

disguised herself as a Dalmatian dog and leaped onboard the wagon. She then


----------



## Dark Angel 27

proceeded to open a crate of beers and drank one. Then deciding she wanted more she hid 5 more in her.....


----------



## Don Givens

purse then knocked the driver on the head and rode off on one of the Clydesdales. She hadn't gone far when she saw a familiar glint of an object held in the hand of a man walking down the street. It was her...........


----------



## Dark Angel 27

car keys. she cursed when she realized that she left the keys hanging in the door. Urging the horse on, she sped towards the man and.....


----------



## Don Givens

flashed him. The stunned man dropped the keys and accidently kicked them into the sewer. Then she remembered she really didn't need the car so much as she needed her ...........


----------



## Don Givens

tweezers. Just then she saw Wayne Newton standing on the corner plucking some stray mustache hairs with .............


----------



## RoxyBlue

..a vintage Epilady. MS. Wicked figured anything that could pull hairs off that plastic face would work for her unibrow, so she brought the horse to a stop, turned to Wayne Newton, and said...


----------



## Don Givens

"hand over the plucker hmmm what rhymes with plucker? Well never mind just hand it over real slow or I'll melt your face with my ............


----------



## RoxyBlue

...Budweiser beer turbocharged flame thrower!" Cringing in fear, Wayne Newton held out the Epilady with trembling hand and sang out...


----------



## Don Givens

Danke Schoen, Auf Wiedersehn, Danke Schoen. Ms. Wicked quickly snatched the Epilady and made shortwork of her unibro. With that unruly tangle out of her eyes she was finally able to see her ...........................


----------



## RoxyBlue

...way clear to getting off the horse safely. As she dismounted, she noticed there was a sale going on at a nearby fabric store and, seamstress that she was, she thought to herself, "I really should.....


----------



## Don Givens

stay away from there or I'll never find my tweezers. Just then Wayne Newton crept up behind her ...........


----------



## RoxyBlue

grabbed the Epilady back and ran off singing another lusty round of "Danke Schoen". Ms Wicked shrugged her shoulders philosophically, hailed a passing cab, and....


----------



## randyaz

decided that since she got her unibrow groomed that she might as well go all the way and get a brazilian. With a tidy...ummm... she could wear her bikini and return to the sandy beach she once enjoyed while crusing the Caribbean. She told the taxi driver to take her to the nearest hair removal salon. Arriving, she entered the salon and the waxer led her to a room and kindly asked her to get prepared as she left the room. Ms Wicked got ready and layed down on the table covering herself with a towel. The attendant returned with the hot wax and sat down on a stool and scooted closer asking Ms Wicked if she was ready to begin. Saying " all right honey, this is gonna hurt you more than it hurts me", the attendant pulled back the towel. The attendant let at a blood curdeling scream. "OMG!!!!" she screamed. "Ive never seen anything like that in my life!!!" You have a...


----------



## Don Givens

set of zircon encrusted tweezers poking out of your biscuit". Ms. Wicked sat up and.........


----------



## RoxyBlue

laughingly said, "My, those do get into the strangest places, don't they?" She daintily removed the tweezers, dropped them into her purse, then stood up and said...


----------



## Don Givens

"now where did that horse go? Without my horse or my car keys, how am I supposed to .............


----------



## Spooky1

get to Montana and do I really want to go there?" As she stood there the Munster mobile pulled up and she heard ....


----------



## Don Givens

Grandpa say, "nice going Herman, you sucked all of the acid out of the battery again". "We'll I'm sorry Grampa but you know its the only thing that relieves my acid indigestion". "Well what are we going to do now Einstein". Herman scratched his head with the battery cable and said, "maybe this nice lady can give us directions to the nearest ....


----------



## RoxyBlue

Pep Boys auto parts store so we can get a new battery". Herman smiled grotesquely at Ms Wicked and began to open his mouth to ask directions, when suddenly....


----------



## Spooky1

Lilly (that's Ms Munster, not our Lilly) jumped out and said, don't you be flirting with that bosomy woman you big hunk of dead flesh! She then turns to Ms. W and ...


----------



## Don Givens

before she could speak Grandpa interrupted and said, "please don't mind my daughter." She's been in a foul mood ever since I made old Herman here out of ......................


----------



## RoxyBlue

...papier mache and tinfoil. It's put a bit of a crimp in their love life". Ms Wicked nodded sympathetically and replied.....


----------



## Don Givens

big stiff in every way except for the one that matters most eh. Lilly"? Herman could stand no more of the insults and started stomping his feet and saying,


----------



## RoxyBlue

I hate you, I hate you , I HATE YOU!!!!" Sticking his tongue out at Lilly, he grabbed Ms Wicked round the waist, leaped onto the Clydesdale, and started riding off toward....


----------



## Ms. Wicked

Universal Studios to get to the bottom of this debacle. However, Herman was sidetracked as they passed the Psycho house when...


----------



## randyaz

...the mystery man came over. He told Herman that, for a nominal service charge, He and Ms Wicked could reach nirvana tonight. "If you are ready, willing and able to pay me my regular fee I can drop all the rest of my pressing affairs and devote my attention to you." 

Herman thought to himself about his ridgidity problem and took the mystery man aside to ask if he was sure they could reach nirvana (...if you know what he means).

The mystery man reached in the pocket of his mystery robe and he whipped out a shaving kit. He told Herman there was nothin his box wont do. With the oil of aphrodite, and the dust of the grand wazoo he said you might not believe this, little fella, but it'll cure your asthma too. 

Herman replied..."Hey...who you calling "little fella"? The mystery man got nervous and he fidgeted around a bit. Herman told him to take his meditations and his preparations and ram it up his snout. The mystery man pulled out a Sears poncho and covered himself with it. He muttered some mumbo jumbo and in a puff of smoke he disappeared. Nothing was left but the Sears poncho lying on the ground. 

Ms Wicked picked up the poncho and the mystery man's shaving kit fell out of it. She showed Herman the kit asked him if he tought they should check out the contents. Ms opened the shaving kit thinking that she really did want to reach nirvana tonight. She took out a little chyrstal vile from the kit she said this must be the oil of aphrodite and she took a sip of it. She handed it over to Herman and he took a sip of it. They sat down and leaned against a wall waiting to see what would happen to them. A few minutes went by when Ms Wicked jumped up and began to dance. Her dance became very tantilizing and seductive. Herman could only stare as she....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...suddenly started break dancing at a frenzied pace. As Herman leaned forward to watch a particularly intricate head spin, Ms Wicked's left foot caught him upside the head and knocked him unconcious. The effect of the Aphrodite oil immediately dissipated and Ms Wicked, shaking her head a bit, decided it was time to...


----------



## Spooky1

go home and see whatever happened to Mr. Wicked. She looked about for a means of transportation and saw....


----------



## Don Givens

The Holy Grail.............. no.. wait.. it was only an empty beer bottle that had caught a sun beam just right. She followed the beer bottle to an arm that led to some shoulders and on at those shoulders sat the frowning head of............


----------



## Don Givens

Uncle Fester. Well what are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a .............


----------



## RoxyBlue

...guy with a light bulb in his mouth holding a beer?" Ms Wicked apologized for seeming to stare so rudely, then asked....


----------



## Don Givens

"mind if I join you?", as she removed one of the Buds she had liberated from the beer wagon. "Not at all", replied Fester. "As a matter of fact, I'm feeling a little down and it would be nice to have someone ...................


----------



## RoxyBlue

...go shopping with me and help me pick out some new clothes - I've been wearing the same shoddy outfit for decades." Ms Wicked replied "I'm a bit of a seamstress myself. Perhaps I could design something tasteful and elegant for you".. Uncle Fester was so delighted at the thought of getting a new custom made outfit that he....


----------



## Don Givens

sang " Always look on the Brightside of Life" in a loud and joyous voice. Once he had finished he turned to Ms. Wicked and asked, "


----------



## RoxyBlue

..."Can we go pick out some material for my new suit now?" "Of course, we can", said Ms Wicked. Taking Fester's arm, she guided him into a nearby House of Really Neat Fabrics where they immediately spotted....


----------



## Don Givens

Morticia & Lurch shopping for black material to make curtains for their game room. Suddenly, Fester pulled Ms Wicked down behind some bolts of Pastel colored Chiffons and said, "


----------



## Spooky1

I don't want them to see me. They think I'm off doing dark and creepy things, but all I really want to do is ....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...tat some doilies and crochet some of those cute little toilet roll covers." "I think they have some yarn and lace here you could use," said Ms Wicked thoughtfully while fingering the chiffon materials with longing. "Let's go over to that clerk and ask...


----------



## Don Givens

.....but it was too late. Morticia looked up and saw Ms. Wicked fingering the chiffons with Fester peaking over her shoulder. "Uncle Fester", a mortified Morticia exclaimed!. "Lurch, go over there and bring Uncle Fester and his friend to the car this instant." Lurch walked over picked up Fester and Ms. Wicked by the scruff of their necks and said "follow me". He was just about to stuff Ms. Wicked in the trunk when she .................


----------



## RoxyBlue

...let out a belch of such force that Lurch was knocked to the ground, dropping Ms Wicked and hitting his head in the process. As he sat there looking dazed, Ms Wicked offered a contrite "Excuse me", gave Fester a consoling pat on the arm, flipped off Morticia, and began running down the street toward...


----------



## Spooky1

the nearest Popeyes Fried Chicken store. After that thunderous belch, she realized she was starving and hadn't eaten in ....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...at least twenty minutes. "Strange", she thought, "Why am I so constantly hungry lately? Is it possible that I'm..."


----------



## Dark Angel 27

pregnant?" she frowned in thought then deciding that it was absolutely possible she walked to the nearest wal-mart in serch of a testing kit. As she was searching for the right one her eyes caught on to a really shiny box...leaning closer she saw that it was a testing kit that could tell you if you had been inpregnated by aliens or not...she laughed out loud at it...and then decided to buy it anyway just for the hell of it...and after picking out a real test she brought them both home....when mr. wicked saw what she had bought he arched an eyebrow and said....


----------



## pyro

i knew you were into some kinky stuff , but ALIENS !!!!!!!
mr W was so upset he bit his tounge and then the stiches that his crack pot doctor put in , fell out.
now with all this.going on , the dogs.......


----------



## Don Givens

began to howl, the cat began to meow, and the bird began to squawk. Ms. Wicked shouted for order, threw her husband the remaining cans of Bud and said ...........


----------



## RoxyBlue

"Pour me a cold one while I go take a shower". Ms Wicked stomped up the stairs and flung open the door to the linen closet. As she reached for some fresh towels, she noticed ....


----------



## Don Givens

a note lieing on the shelf. She picked it up and read the following, even now as you are reading this note, we are kidnapping your husband. If you ever want to see him again, be waiting at the phonebooth down the block in 5 minutes. No Police. Signed Super Sneaky, Very Dangerous, Masked Ninja's.
Ms. Wicked crumpled up the note and immediately ...........


----------



## Spooky1

grabbed her body armor, shotgun, 9 mm pistol and combat knife from her commando days. She stormed out the door to track down the evil ninja's who would dare lay hands upon her beloved Mr. W. As she neared the phonebooth.....


----------



## Dark Angel 27

she was jumped from behind by a ninja and was prompty thrown to the ground and at the moment her comando skills kicked in and she promptly rolled away and pulled out her combat knife and....


----------



## randyaz

used it to open a can of spinach. As it were, Ms Wicked's childhood hero was Popeye the Sailor Man. To possess those bulgeing forarms were her secret desire. She consumed the spinach. She could feel the Popeye strenght coursing through her body as her muscles swelled to enormous size she squeeled out a toot toot and yelled out "I'm strong to the finish cause I ate my spinach" and hurled herself at the ninja. Taken aback by this the ninja...


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the strength of 10 grinches plus two (she was also a fan of Dr. Seuss). Ms Wicked leaped to her feet, muscles rippling with strength, throwing the astounded ninja off as easily as a duck shedding water. As she turned to face her attacker, she heard....


----------



## Ms. Wicked

Olive Oyle screaming "keep away from my man!" Ms. Wicked knew she must explain the misunderstanding and said "It's now what you think! I was just about to...


----------



## randyaz

kick this ninja's butt. "Oh wait a minute" exclaimed Olive "your not Popeye...oh dear!! your not even a man!!!". Why no Im not replied the bulked up Ms Wicked. In fact, after the spinach wears off you will see that Im...


----------



## Spooky1

quite girlie, with curves and everything. Ms. W then gives the ninja a quick roundhouse kick to the head and ....


----------



## Don Givens

leaves a befuddled Olive Oyle repeatingly whispering to herself "Oh My". With superhuman speed, she made it to the phone booth just as the phone began ringing. She picked up the receiver and heard a familiar voice say......


----------



## RoxyBlue

"Honey, do you want me to pick up anything from the store on my way home from work tonight?" Ms Wicked was astounded - it was her beloved Mr Wicked, apparently safe and sound. "Those damn lying ninjas!", she thought. "I'm going to hunt them down anyway and....


----------



## Don Givens

and make them regret they were ever born. Just then Ms Wicked heard Olive Oyle scream "Help! Help! Popeye, save me." She returned to where she had last seen Olive, just in time to see the Ninja stuff her into a sack. "Perfect", thought Ms. Wicked, "I'll just follow Skinny's muffled screams and these two ding-a-lings will lead me back to the Super Sneaky, Very Dangerous, Masked Ninja's hideout. She was just beginning to track her prey when all of a sudden she noticed ..............


----------



## RoxyBlue

...a shiny new penny lying on the sidewalk. "See a penny, pick it up, all the day, you'll have good luck", she said aloud, laughing. "Well, can't hurt to pick it up". As Ms Wicked reached for the coin, the sidewalk suddenly split asunder, revealing....


----------



## Don Givens

a dime. Ms. Wicked picked that up too then continued to follow Olive's muffled screams utill she came to a warehouse with a sign that said, "Super Sneaky, Very Dangerous, Masked Ninja's Scret Hideout". Standing on her tippy-toes, Ms. Wicked looked through a dirty warehouse window and was shocked to see.............


----------



## Ms. Wicked

The Roadrunner and Wile E. Coyote trying to outwit each other. At that very moment, they spotted her and turned the focus of their chase onto her. Not knowing what to do, Ms. W looked behind a box in the warehouse and found an Acme Jet Propelled Pogo Stick. Despite her reluctance to use it, she had no choice. She hopped on, fired it up when suddenly....


----------



## Don Givens

she got off, handed the Jet Propelled Pogo stick to Wiley E. Coyote, and nodded towards The Roadrunner. Wiley hopped on, took off, and shot staight through the ceiling. She then quickly dispatched the Road Runner by .............


----------



## randyaz

wringing its neck as muttered..."meep meep my ass..you @#$%#@" ...flailing the carcas around by the neck the Road Runners head popped off in her hands. When the decapitated bird hit the floor it flopped around and somehow got on its feet and started running around the room. "Holy smokes" uttered Ms Wicked..."look at that thing...


----------



## Don Givens

put a new spin on the "Funky Chicken". Ms. Wicked quickly memorized the steps then proceeded to continue her search for the Super Sneaky, Very Dangerous, Masked Ninja's. She walked through the warehouse, into a hall, and past a number of closed doors until she heard some muffled voices. She pressed her eye to the keyhole and was very surprised to see ................


----------



## RoxyBlue

what appeared to be a Mardi Gras party in full swing. "That looks like fun", she murmured. As quietly as possible, Ms Wicked carefully turned the door knob and stepped into the room, where she was immediately greeted by...


----------



## Don Givens

the Super Sneaky, Very Dangerous, Masked Ninja's. Each one was eyeing her leerily and holding out a string of Mardi Gras beads. Ms. Wicked flashed the Ninjas but as they came closer to hand her the beads she ..........


----------



## scareme

drew out her trusty boyscout knife, and with a quick slice, slashed all the strings of beads. The beads tumbled over the floor. As the Ninjas advanced forward, they slipped and fell on the beads. Ms. Wicked, not wasting any time,...


----------



## Don Givens

she pounced .. then she pounced again .. then she tightly bound each ninja with the bead strings. The she unmasked the head Ninja and was astounded to see that it was ................


----------



## RoxyBlue

...her beloved husband, Mr Wicked. "Surprise, honey!" he said with a laugh. "Bet you didn't expect to see me." Ms Wicked was shocked by his levity after all she had been through and immediately...


----------



## BrokebackHaunter

going on & on & on..


----------



## Don Givens

thought that this would be a good time to teach him a lesson. She eyed him with suspicion and said, "I don't believe you. First, Ninja's are experts at disguise and second, my husband would never ...............


----------



## scareme

eat vegetarian pot roast, and he would never, ever....


----------



## Don Givens

French kiss a cannibal, but that's besides the point. Just how do you expect to prove that you are my husband? Mr. Wicked thought a moment then said,


----------



## RoxyBlue

..."I can prove it's me.. I'll show you that funny little birthmark you know I have, hidden in a place no one but you can see." Mr Wicked then turned and...


----------



## scareme

dropped trou. A lump rose in Ms. Wicked's throat. Was it and emotional responce to seeing her lost loved one, or was she just going to barf? After swallowing deaply a couple of times, she...


----------



## Dark Angel 27

got really pissed off and walked away and went back home locking the door....mr. w followed her home and begged her to forgive him.

But she really did love him...and so she let him in...but only after he promised to...


----------



## Don Givens

pour that beer she asked for earlier while she went upstairs to take a shower. "I swear", said Ms. Wicked, " men, you can't live with em and you can't .................


----------



## Ms. Wicked

even rely on them to remember that my drink of choice is WINE!" He had fallen for the trap. Angrily she stormed out, heading for the....


----------



## Don Givens

the bathroom. "Men can be so easy sometimes", she thought, "after my shower, I think I'll send him out for some ..........


----------



## Spooky1

pizza and champagne. Then she remembered her latest adventure started with the zombie pizza delivery guy and decided maybe Mr. W should take her out to a nice restaurant. So fresh from the shower Ms. W .....


----------



## RoxyBlue

..came walking into the bedroom in search of her husband (or WAS he?), only to discover....


----------



## Don Givens

Mr. W (or IS he) talking into a teeny weenie, itsy bitsy, yellow polka dot cell phone. "Yes, she fell for the disguise. The little birth mark you made out of latex was perfect. As soon as I secure the tweezers, I'll get rid of her and .......


----------



## scareme

I'll be really hungry. So I'll get something to eat first, maybe watch a little TV, take a nap, and.... Now what was it I came here to do? Oh yeah, I'll...


----------



## RoxyBlue

...but it was too late. Ms Wicked smacked him upside the head with a loofah, causing the imposter to fall backwards through the bedroom plate glass window. "Serves you right, you rat bastard!" screamed Ms Wicked as he fell to his death. "Now I need to find my dear husband and...


----------



## Don Givens

......... but just then the teeny weeny, itsy bitsy, yellow polka dot cell phone, which had fallen to the floor when she dispatched the imposter, started to ring. Ms Wicked picked up the phone and said,


----------



## Lilly

Wicked morgue, Welcome to my nightmare! How may I help you in her sweetest voice. Just then..


----------



## RoxyBlue

...she heard snarling sounds coming from the yard. She stepped to the window and saw three ghoul hounds fighting over the carcass of the Mr Wicked imposter. "Damn, that's going to make a mess out there", she muttered as she grabbed the loofah and...


----------



## Don Givens

her camera. Going to need some pics so I can post a "How To Create a Half Eaten Corpse" on


----------



## RoxyBlue

the HauntForum". As she started down the stairs, the zircon-coated tweezers fell out of her pocket. When they hit the floor, they...


----------



## Don Givens

bounced down the stairs, out the mail-slot in the front door, and right into the mouth of one of the ghoul hounds. "My tweezers"!, exclaimed Ms Wicked. Quickly; she ran down the stairs, bolted out the door, and ripped the bloody tweezers ................


----------



## Don Givens

right out of the mouth of the vicious ghoul hound. Just then a few members of the local PETA group came up and said, "


----------



## Spooky1

You terrible person, how can you harm a poor helpless animal like that". As the PETA person bent down to comfort the Ghoul Hound it leaped upon her and attacked. The PETA lady screamed out as the hound ripped her flesh "Help, help, kill this damn thing" and then.....


----------



## RoxyBlue

spotted someone walking down the street wearing a fur coat. "You terrible person," screamed the now bloody PETA lady as she took off down the street, ghoul hounds in tow. "What a weirdo", said Ms Wicked as she slipped the tweezers into her pocket. As she gazed down at her lawn, now littered with chunks of flesh and a half-eaten imposter Mr Wicked, she noticed....


----------



## Don Givens

a book of matches that said, " Super Sneaky, Very Dangerous, Masked Ninja's bar and grill. All I got to do is go to this bar and wait for a lead, but I don't want to be recognized, so I better disguise myself as ............


----------



## Spooky1

a Super Sneaky, Very Dangerous, Masked Ninja. So Ms. W sewed a Ninja outfit in a jiffy, using her super human sewing skills and headed for ...


----------



## RoxyBlue

...the Super Sneaky Very Dangerous Masked Ninja Bar & Grill, Home of the All You Can Eat Sushi Buffet. Ms Wicked slipped quietly into the restaurant and seated herself at the bar. When the sushi chef turned to take her order, Ms Wicked noticed...


----------



## Don Givens

he had a little piece of seaweed stuck in his teeth. Ms. Wicked pointed this out to the chef who excused himself so he could remove the offending matter. Finding herself alone in the bar, Ms. Wicked thought she would take the opportunity to...........


----------



## Don Givens

When Ms Wicked regained conciousness she found herself in a little room with a large window looking out into a lab. Her eyes were still a little blurry but as she regained focus she could see Mr. Wicked strapped down to an operating table. Ms. Wicked lept to her feet, ran over the window, and starting pounding on the glass. The doctor turned, pulled down his mask, and to Ms. Wicked horror - there stood ...................


----------



## RoxyBlue

Dr Morbius, Evil Lab Tech and Arch Nemesis of All That is Good. "Bwa ha ha", he laughed as he raised his scalpel over Mr Wicked's bound but struggling body. "Little do you know I've been stalking your husband for months - his skull is perfect for my next groundbreaker and I shall have it at all costs!" As the evil Morbius turned toward his helpless victim, Ms Wicked...


----------



## Don Givens

shouted "WAIT! Perhaps we could work out some kind of deal". Dr Morbius lowered his scalpel and said, " A deal eh? What did you have in mind my pretty"? Thinking quickly, Ms Wicked said,


----------



## RoxyBlue

"Um, I need to contact my personal assistant and minion in training, randyaz. He always knows what to suggest in situations like this". Ms Wicked reached into her pocket for her cell phone and....


----------



## Draik41895

was stung by a scorpion.she shouted out..


----------



## Don Givens

ouch, how in the world did a freaking scorpian get involved in this story. Great, now my husband is in peril and I got scorpian poison coursing through my veins. I can't see any way out of this predicament ..... unless I am only ............


----------



## RoxyBlue

....dreaming? Is it possible this has all been a horrible nightmare and I'm actually home in bed next to my dear sleeping husband? And how am I going to wake myself up?" She turned to Dr Morbius and said....


----------



## Don Givens

" well Doc, either I'm dreaming or I'm dying of scorpian venom. If I'm dreaming it doesn't matter what you do but if I'm dying, then you need to come in here and give me some anti venom before we can work out a deal. Dr. Morbius thought a moment then said,


----------



## RoxyBlue

"I don't happen to have any antivenom around, but I believe the Walmart down the street has some in the pharmacy. I will allow you to go get what you need, and I will hold your husband here until you return...then we will talk about a deal." He smiled in anticipation as Ms Wicked.....


----------



## Don Givens

left the room, walked outside, and saw the store right down the street. Once inside the store, she found the pharmacy. There was only one other customer but it seemed to be taking forever and meanwhile she was getting very dizzy from the poison. Suddenly Ms. Wicked screamed, " Hey, can't ya tell I'm dying here? Hurry it up or I'll ..................


----------



## Dark Angel 27

sic my flying monkeys on you!" than at that moment....


----------



## RoxyBlue

Randyaz, Ms Wicked's Personal Assistant and Minion in Training, came running into the store, loaded syringe in hand. "Quick, Ms. Wicked, roll up your sleeve!" he cried. "I have the antivenom!" "How did you find me, and how did you know about the scorpion sting?" she asked as he took her bared arm and swabbed her skin with an alcohol pad. "Simple", he said as he jabbed her with the needle. "I just......


----------



## Don Givens

....WAKE UP! Come on now. WAKE UP MS WICKED! Ms Wicked opened her eyes to see, Randyaz leaning over her. "Finally", Randyaz said breathlessly, "come on Ms. Wicked. We don't have much time". Ms. Wicked sat up and said, " Just what in the world is going on here"? Randyaz gave her a puzzled look and said, "don't you remember? You ...............


----------



## Monk

...are supposed to start ballet lessons today". Realizing what was going on Ms. Wicked quickly...


----------



## RoxyBlue

grabbed some leotards and a pair of ballet slippers from her closet. "I hope you remembered to bring your cup, randy" she muttered. Randyaz looked astonished and replied, .....


----------



## Monk

..."Oh, I have my cup alright". They then proceeded...


----------



## RoxyBlue

down the stairs toward the front door. As Ms Wicked reached for the door handle, the door suddenly burst open, revealing....


----------



## RoxyBlue

....revealing......


----------



## RoxyBlue

...Mr Wicked dressed as a FedEx delivery guy. "Package for you, miss" he said, holding out a small, oddly shaped box. "Honey, is this some kind of joke"? she answered. "And why are you dressed like a FedEx man?" Then she noticed his eyes - they were.....


----------



## Don Givens

as glazed as a Christmas Ham, as glazed as a dozen donuts, as glazed as Paris Hilton after a sleep over at Snoop Dogs, oops never mind that last one children. Anyway, she took the package and without even asking for a signature, Mr. Wicked turned and began walking back to his truck. Ms. Wicked stared at the package then at her husband and finally said, ...............


----------



## RoxyBlue

"Hey, don't I have to sign something?" Mr Wicked, glazed eyes rolling, turned slowly towards her. "You just had to ask, didn't you?" he snarled. Ms Wicked watched in horror as the man she believed to be her husband began twisting and writhing, transforming before her eyes into...


----------



## Draik41895

revenent!She screamed at the sight of such a...


----------



## Don Givens

foul creature. Then without further adieu, she pulled a hatchet out of her purse, chopped off his head, hacked out the heart, then torched the corpse. Having finished with the revenant, she took the package inside to see what it was. "Oh joy! She exclaimed, my new ........


----------



## RoxyBlue

Super Turbo-Charged Zircon Encrusted Tweezers! Now I can get rid of that old pair that caused so much trouble". She reached into her pocket for the old tweezers and was shocked to find....


----------



## Don Givens

a book of matches from the Super Sneaky, Very Dangerous, Masked Ninja's bar and grill. "WTF is going on here! Ms.Wicked shouted. Am I awake or am I still dreaming"? Suddenly, ..............


----------



## Draik41895

a silver cloud appeared and took the shape of a unicorn.She shouted"this must be a dream because...


----------



## Don Givens

BRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG. Roxy awoke, shut off the alarm, and pinched herself to make sure she was really awake this time. What a weird dream she thought to herself. Guess I should have know better than to eat ....................


----------



## Ms. Wicked

Ms. Wicked's special brownies.

Trying to shake off the dream, Roxy poured a cup of coffee and read the morning paper. The front page headline shocked her, as it read.....


----------



## RoxyBlue

"Heroine of Haunt Forum Thread Ousted by Newcomer!!! Ms Wicked on Rampage!!! Vows Revenge on 'That Blue B*tch'!!!"

"OMG, this can't be happening!" cried RoxyBlue. "How did this...'' Just then, the phone rang. Roxy lifted the handset and, before she could speak, heard a voice say....


----------



## Don Givens

Ah hello, yes this is the Ministry of Forum Thread Content and I'm afraid that there has been a terrible blunder. Roxy shouted into the phone, "@#$$$!!! you stupid **@@## I ought to ...... " Please, please settle down Ms. Blue I assure you that this will all be taken care of within the ministry. Roxy shouted into the phone "Just how can you expect me to trust ......." but before Roxy could finish the phone went dead. Oh all this is terribly exhausting, I better PM my friend Ms. Wicked and try to explain that I had no part in this but first I think I'll ..........


----------



## Lauriebeast

have a glass or two, or three of cheap wine.


----------



## Draik41895

she ran to the wine cellar grabbed three bottles and drank them in one gulp each.after that she said...


----------



## RoxyBlue

"I could have had a V-8! I'm such a ditz sometimes!" As Roxy staggered upstairs, she remembered that she still needed to PM Ms. Wicked about the thread incident. She slumped down in front of her computer. "Who turned this thing off?" she muttered. As she reached for the On button, she heard.....


----------



## Draik41895

a loud Snap,Crackle,Pop.The computer exploded and she shouted...


----------



## Don Givens

"WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG NEXT"? Just then the doorbell rang. Roxy went to the door and looked through the "spy-hole" to see a short stocky gentleman in a business suit. "Who is it"? Roxy asked. "Mr. Chance from the Ministry of Forum Thread Content", came the reply, "I'm here to .............


----------



## Bloodhound

deny any further posting's. Your count at this rate will exceed FEs. That is a position in which


----------



## Spooky1

the poor Haunt Forum servers can't possibly keep up. He suddenly begins to channel Engineer Scott and in a Scottish accent says "Roxy, the servers ca na take it anymore"! His cell phone rings (ring tone is the Star Trek Theme) and answers the phone and goes pale. Roxy, ZombieF says your post rate has caused the servers to tear a hole in the space time continuum, you need to ....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...get hold of a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers. With those we can repair the rip in the space time continuum. But you have to hurry!" Roxy paled as she realized the only person who had such a miraculous pair of tweezers was none other than - Ms Wicked! "I have to find her and beg for her help, even if she hates me!" cried Roxy. She threw open the front door and immediately fell into...


----------



## Don Givens

the arms of her beloved Spooky1. One look at his love and he could tell that ..........


----------



## RoxyBlue

she wasn't really Roxy at all. As he gazed into her wine-glazed eyes, Spooky1 sensed something was wrong, almost inhuman, about the being he was holding in his arms. "Who or what are you?" he cried. She smiled and said.....


----------



## Don Givens

GREETINGS .......... from the planet Gore. We've come to steal all of earth's resources and so much more. Our leader is in your Senate and he's filled you all with fear. He'll sell you carbon credits if you want to drink cold beer. So Greetings from the planet Gore. We've come to steal all of earth's resources and so much more. But now that you know our secret, I'm afraid that you must die. So please look at my pistol so I can shoot you in the ..........


----------



## RoxyBlue

BANG!!!!! Spooky1 drew his Magnum 357 and blew the head off the alien. The carcass fell to the ground, spilling wires and circuit boards. "Damn robots are everywhere," he said as he pocketed the gun. "Now it's on me to find Ms Wicked and her zircon tweezers so we can fix this space-time continuum problem." As he started down the street, he heard.....


----------



## Don Givens

Al Gore say, "you know everytime you fire a weapon it increases global warming". As the self appointed savior of this planet, it is my duty to charge you for 7 carbon credits to offset the damage. Will that be cash or charge"? Spooky scratched his chin and ..........


----------



## RoxyBlue

...felt what appeared to be a small microchip with speakers embedded in his skin. "This must be shrapnel from that blasted robot. Now I REALLY need to find Ms Wicked and those tweezers to get this thing out of me and repair the space time continuum", he cried as he hailed a passing cab, which turned out to be driven by......


----------



## Draik41895

Ms.wicked herself!Spooky1 shouted out"Thank goodness i finally found you the last post was 2 months ago!Now help me get this thing out!"He hopped into the cab as he noticed the very ground hes been walking on fell to pieces to reveal...


----------



## Fangs

a red hot stream of flowing lava. Luckily the cab's wheels folded under and they were able to hover over the street. But they watched in horror as.....


----------



## Monk

...all the cars around them burst into flames as they sank in the molten Lava. Their hovering cab quickly...


----------



## Spooky1

flew over the lava stream to land safely in Johnny Thunders yard. Johnny runs out of his house yelling ....


----------



## RoxyBlue

"It's about time you showed up with my pizza delivery order!" Ms Wicked rolled down her window and calmly replied.....


----------



## Wyatt Furr

"PEORIA!!!!!! Ow the heck dids I end up in Peoria,I'm a good girl,I am.This is all Professer Don's fault ,it is. I was happy as a lowly cockney flawer girl, I was.I rather be settin' Covet Garden sellin violets,than livering these pizzas.He sade he'd teach me to be a lady,AOWWWWW,He's a liar that one is, and now he wants me to take a bath. I'll catch my death ,I will. That'll be 6 quid for the pizza,guvner." Johnny sttod there at a loss for words until Roxy said,"


----------



## Bone To Pick

'Ello there! 'Ave ya seen me 'usband's photo on Ebay? I figures I could get me at least 8 quid fer it an' buy the pizza me self, I could. Maybe get 10 quid if he ..."


----------



## Monk

washed off the clown makeup, 'e did. If not, maybe...


----------



## RoxyBlue

BANG! Ms Wicked holstered the revolver she was carrying and muttered "One more Roxy robot down. Now how the hell did I start channeling Eliza Doolittle? Maybe I have one of those microchips implanted in me as well." She revved the engine on the cab, turned to Spooky1, and said...


----------



## Bone To Pick

"Let's go shopping, person above my post!" After Wicked executed a perfect drift maneuver through the parking lot, they pulled into a handicap spot and entered the mall. Two hours later, arms burdened by clothing bags, Spooky exclaimed....


----------



## Spooky1

can we go look for Roxy now? Maybe there are some clues to her whereabouts in ...


----------



## morbidmike

the back of that runaway stage coach headed for ....


----------



## Spooky1

that sewage treatment plant. What a minute isn't that Mr. Wicked driving ...


----------



## debbie5

Miss Daisy? We better go look in the treatment plant. AS they pulled into the drive way, they saw the horrific vision of...


----------



## Bone To Pick

the plant's resident cyclops made it nearly impossible for him to notice that they were even there. The dubious smells eminating from the sludge ponds was nothing compared to......


----------



## Goblin

the horrible smell that was coming from the nearby deserted house that..........


----------



## apetoes

Had that errire green glow, you know the kind of glow that...


----------



## Goblin

immediately know something's wrong, and you should...........


----------



## DeathTouch

check your underware for stains. If it wasn't for the...


----------



## Goblin

loud moaning upstairs you would.......


----------



## DeathTouch

swear it was Brittney Spears doing the....


----------



## Goblin

Macarena with Oprah Winfrey. so you.............


----------



## DeathTouch

wish you had brought you camera to take...


----------



## Goblin

a bunch of pictures to sell, but you had..............


----------



## DeathTouch

a knife instead. The only thing to do know was..


----------



## Goblin

go find you a camera real quick, so you.............


----------



## Dr Morbius

set it up on a tripod and set the camera to auto shutter, pick up the knife and....


----------



## Goblin

do the dance of death with Britney and Oprah, while...........


----------



## Howlinmadjack

Carving pumpkins and gyrating wildly to the sounds of...


----------



## RoxyBlue

..Ms Wicked burning rubber as she screeched into the parking lot. As she opened the car door...


----------



## Goblin

a bunch of winged monkey on motorcycles were...........


----------



## Howlinmadjack

...howling and punching one another, while skipping along and playing scrabble...


----------



## Goblin

with Soni and Goblin, while everyone else was..............


----------



## Dr Morbius

munching on Britney and Oprah pate'.


----------



## Goblin

Suddenly from out of nowhere came.................


----------



## Howlinmadjack

...a monstrous winged slimy hose beast that attempted to eat all....


----------



## Goblin

the forum members while destroying the home of.........


----------



## Howlinmadjack

Pauly Shore, who was running around yelling and trying to....


----------



## Goblin

steal everyone's wallet. So they decided to...........


----------



## Cowbell

stuff weasels in their pants while clogging and rapping to...


----------



## Goblin

the toe-tapping sound of Jake Clogger an his...........


----------



## Evil Andrew

Northwoods Quartet, who had recently appeared on the......


----------



## Luigi Bored

Dr. Phil show because of their obsession with........


----------



## Goblin

fisherman's wading boots and


----------



## badger

the women who love them...


----------



## RoxyBlue

There suddenly appeared on the horizon....


----------



## Spooky1

dark clouds bringing the portent of ....


----------



## Luigi Bored

gale force winds and foul odors coming from........


----------



## Goblin

Morbid Mikes garage where he


----------



## Luigi Bored

was experimenting with .....


----------



## Goblin

insane chickens to discover a


----------



## Luigi Bored

vaccine for the dreaded


----------



## Goblin

computor virus that had been created by


----------



## PirateLady

the mad scientist as he


----------



## Luigi Bored

was doing research for


----------



## Goblin

Funk and Wagnalls when he suddenly


----------



## PirateLady

spilled the contents of


----------



## Goblin

the huge crate that had just arrived from


----------



## Luigi Bored

Elviras House of Potions when suddenly...


----------



## Goblin

there was a knock at the door and


----------



## Luigi Bored

he looked out the window to find...


----------



## Goblin

that the yard was full of zombies, he then


----------



## Luigi Bored

screamed like a girl and


----------



## Goblin

ran and hid under his bed and


----------



## scareme

peeked out to see


----------



## Spooky1

Dust bunnies everywhere. He got out from under the bed and picked up a broom to ...


----------



## scareme

clean up the mess, but he heard something strange coming from


----------



## Goblin

Debbie5's closet so they opened it to find


----------



## autumnghost

the Boogey man dressed like a Las Vegas show girl and singing


----------



## scareme

Paparazzi. When he saw you opening the door he


----------



## Goblin

tap danced his way into the living room and


----------



## Haunted Spider

tripping over the Roomba Vacuum causing...


----------



## Goblin

them to go crashing over the coffee table and.........


----------



## Haunted Spider

smear his thick face make up on the...


----------



## Goblin

white shag carpet that had just been put down. He............


----------



## Haunted Spider

sprayed pepper spray at....


----------



## Goblin

all the neighbors while singing...............


----------



## Haunted Spider

a tune from the classic musical...


----------



## Goblin

The Music Man and some started dancing and......


----------



## Haunted Spider

the music abruptly ended causing....


----------



## Goblin

everyone to stop dancing and start.............


----------



## Haunted Spider

going home. But suddenly....


----------



## PirateLady

from out of no where a band of zombies appear...


----------



## scareme

and start line dancing. You just shake your head and decide to...


----------



## Goblin

shoot them in the leg instead of the head, but.........


----------



## scareme

then it seems they have just noticed you and they ask you....


----------



## Goblin

if you want to be their king. You replied..........


----------



## Haunted Spider

by pulling out your 12 gauge shotgun and....


----------



## Goblin

giving it to a passing hunter so he can.........


----------



## scareme

work it into his song and dance routine, "Zombies Gone Wild. The video's director...


----------



## Goblin

decided to make it a muscial comedy and............


----------



## scareme

hired that famous song and dance team.....


----------



## Goblin

of Scareme and Morbid Mike who..............


----------



## scareme

stared in the hit movie "Losing Their Minds" which was about...


----------



## Haunted Spider

Goblin's life. But before production could begin...


----------



## scareme

a blizzard hit the entire country and froze the...


----------



## Spooky1

the stars butts to their chairs. Their stand-ins rushed to .....


----------



## scareme

warm their butts, but then thought, "Hey, this could be our big chance.", so they told the stars, "Wait here, we are going to...


----------



## Haunted Spider

go get a heater. They instead...


----------



## Goblin

went to Walmart and bought a bunch of............


----------



## Haunted Spider

halloween themed poker decks. As they were leaving the store.....


----------



## scareme

who did they run into but Mother Theresa carrying a....


----------



## Goblin

bazooka as she tap danced her way to.................


----------



## Haunted Spider

the customer service counter where whe demanded.....


----------



## Goblin

a refund on the bazooka because it was defective. They.........


----------



## Haunted Spider

asked how she bought it since she chose a life of poverty and she said.....


----------



## Goblin

I raffled off my liver! They gasped and.......


----------



## Necronomus

called a circus clown who.....


----------



## MrGrimm

honked his nose and took my...


----------



## Goblin

wallet and then used it to.........


----------



## MrGrimm

smack me in the face as he laughed and said...


----------



## Goblin

"Happy Halloween to all and to all a good fright!"


----------



## MrGrimm

Then he took my family pictures and left me the money, all the while saying...


----------



## Monk

...I gotta get me some of these.
Without any hesitation, I quickly...


----------



## DeathTouch

ran outside with out any clothes and ask the guy that I saw..


----------



## bradndez

What do you think of this? And he said...


----------



## Goblin

"It looks like a monkey with a mask on!"


----------



## MrGrimm

So then I put my pants back on and headed to the clinic when the clown came back and said...


----------



## Monk

"Those are my pants!"
Embarrassed, I quickly...


----------



## scareme

ducked behind the hippo in the room, who's name was....


----------



## MrGrimm

Regis! I told him that I was a big fan and he...


----------



## scareme

blushed and turned red. I shouldn't tell you this but....


----------



## Goblin

they're training monkeys to rob banks!


----------



## MrGrimm

But I told him it wouldn't work because they're using bananas as guns, and he...


----------



## Goblin

decided to build a brand new secret weapon that................


----------



## MrGrimm

would make bananas into killer zombie bananas that would....


----------



## Goblin

destroy every monkey in the world, thus.................


----------



## MrGrimm

forever ending man's ability to laugh at colored baboon butts!


----------



## Goblin

Meanwhile MrGrimm, wearing a pink tutu and combat boots, was..........


----------



## Chuck

searching for a missing dolphin when all of sudden.....


----------



## MrGrimm

Paul Anka started singing a jingle to...


----------



## Goblin

Toys R Us with Roxy and Debbie5.........


----------



## MrGrimm

...dancing the can-can dressed as...


----------



## QueenRuby2002

Vampire stripper who liked.....


----------



## MrGrimm

... to dance the macarena when a patron gave her a...


----------



## QueenRuby2002

cookie that tasted like...


----------



## MrGrimm

...type O-negative blood because it reminded her of....


----------



## Goblin

six month old tomato juice mixed with prune juice..........


----------



## MrGrimm

...that made her so gassy that...


----------



## QueenRuby2002

she could jump over a sixfoot building. This wasn't that amazing as we had all seen MrGrimm do it last time he.....


----------



## autumnghost

decided to light a can of Great foam on fire which ...


----------



## Goblin

attracted firefighters for miles around, who.................


----------



## MrGrimm

were immediately hit on by QueenRuby2002 who...


----------



## DeathTouch

smeared choco and cheese onto a ratt and then..


----------



## Goblin

did a Flamingo dance around the room then attacked the neighbore. Meanwhile......


----------



## scareme

there was a metor in space hurtling towards....


----------



## MrGrimm

... a spaceship with Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck and a bunch of other actors that suddenly...


----------



## DeathTouch

Just exploded in mid-air. The actors just looked in amazment until..


----------



## Goblin

someone asked them if the show was over. They replied.............


----------



## scareme

You haven't seen anything yet. Just wait untill.....


----------



## Goblin

the dancing zombie clown squaredancers get here!


----------



## scareme

But then they heard a scream coming from the other room. They went in to check it out, but noone was in there. The room was compleatly empty except for the ...........


----------



## Drago

small square wooden box sitting in the middle of the room, it emanated a humming sound........


----------



## scareme

and a dim blue light. As we approached the box the humming became louder until......


----------



## Goblin

it hurt our ears and we had to leave the room. Meanwhile............


----------



## scareme

back at the ranch, a crazy rooster crowed at 4:45 and woke up....


----------



## Drago

Farmer Joe, who got up and started his daily routine, but was suddenly startled by a crushing sound coming from the barn......


----------



## scareme

where he kept his giant chickens after that nuclear accident. Joe picked up his elephant gun and started out to the barn. He really hated the thought of going in there alone so he called his trusty farmhand......


----------



## Goblin

Scareme and his gunbearer Zurgh to go in the barn and..............


----------



## scareme

collect the eggs. Once inside the barn, the chickens start to circle them. Scareme, being the bright one of the bunch, throws corn in the corner to distract them. As the chickens move away, it is then they notice......


----------



## Drago

the eggs starting to hatch, looking baffled they stare in amazement, shells cracking, falling and the chicks were so deformed they........


----------



## Goblin

were immediately snatched up as props by everyone........


----------



## Drago

but a problem occurred over time, the chicks grew up to be 3 feet tall and very vicious....


----------



## scareme

and had a hankering for candy corn. Woe to the haunter who ran out of candy corn. Some people tried to feed them ......


----------



## Goblin

but their hunger was insatiable. They then turned and............


----------



## scareme

started attacking the sugar cane fields. That would mean no candy for Halloween. When the kids across the nation heard about this, they ......


----------



## Goblin

launched a massive counter attack led by Scareme. The battle was.............


----------



## scareme

over in two minutes. Noone comes between scareme and her candy. After that everyone sat down to a fried chicken dinner served with...


----------



## Goblin

poisonous potatoes grown in the gardens of the evil........


----------



## Drago

but the people eating them were evil themselves, thus immune to the poison...


----------



## scareme

of the potatoes grown in the gardens of the evil ruler of the kingdom of Evility, where all the people are evil. But the most evil the most vile one of all was....


----------



## Drago

Goblin (  ), this foul entity roamed aimlessly......


----------



## Goblin

destroying anyone or anything that got in his way..........


----------



## Drago

but he was powerless when he went face to face against.....


----------



## Goblin

Santa Claus and Frosty the Snowman who were his friends...........


----------



## Drago

After learning of the destruction caused, Santa sends Goblin to visit his friend Krampus..


----------



## Goblin

who joins forces with Goblin, Santa, and Frosty to take over the world.......


----------



## QueenRuby2002

By the power of the Labrinth kings song. Which is...


----------



## Goblin

Fa la wa wa lama dingdorf. Whiche means..........


----------



## PirateLady

Long way to the land of the dragon riders.


----------



## Goblin

Meanwhile everyone was having a squaredance and............


----------



## scareme

gobby, with his two left feet could only dance in circles. This made everyone in the room....


----------



## badger

suddenly go against the grain and break into the chicken dance, hopping around like maniacs. At least until...


----------



## N. Fantom

The world blew up and...


----------



## Sawtooth Jack

each dancer perched on their little part of the once whole planet continued the chicken dance as they flew off into space in all directions which caused...


----------



## N. Fantom

Causing aliens passing by on a meteor to start laughing and loose control thus flying around the fragments at faster than light speed reversing time and fixing the earth and bringing everyone back to life, but...


----------



## aquariumreef

they spontaneously burst into synchronized disco because time was back in the seventies when...


----------



## Goblin

when everyone was doing disco and were...............


----------



## N. Fantom

wearing bell bottom jeans which caused...


----------



## Goblin

so much of a stir that everyone went right out and............


----------



## Hairazor

Bought a pair. After putting them on and looking in the mirror------


----------



## Goblin

they threw them in the trash and went out and bought...............................


----------



## N. Fantom

a monkey because


----------



## Hairazor

Who doesn't want a monkey? But the monkey---


----------



## N. Fantom

lived in Chris's


----------



## Hairazor

Birdcage and caused---


----------



## Sawtooth Jack

quite a mess, because you know they throw...


----------



## N. Fantom

there banana peels


----------



## Hairazor

At people who---


----------



## Goblin

like to form chicken conga line and..............


----------



## N. Fantom

make sentences with...


----------



## Goblin

the evil Mister Boogeyman that were..............


----------



## badger

immigrants from Croatia who were known for...


----------



## Hairazor

tap dancing at---


----------



## kprimm

Hairy legged girl scout


----------



## Goblin

that was actually was..................


----------



## Hairazor

A Boy Scout waiting for---


----------



## PirateLady

some of those girl scout cookies


----------



## Goblin

that the flying monkeys liked so well..............


----------



## Hairazor

because they can throw them at----


----------



## N. Fantom

their poop.


----------



## Goblin

Meanwhile there was a huge.............


----------



## Hairazor

explosion at the---


----------



## Goblin

Chucky Cheeses in Miami and was..................


----------



## scareme

seen from outer space, where they...


----------



## Hairazor

Shielded their eyes because---


----------



## ladysherry

they saw their


----------



## N. Fantom

families being ripped to shreds by the horrific explosion.


----------



## ladysherry

While they were crying their eyes out....


----------



## Hairazor

The sun disappeared and---


----------



## N. Fantom

plunged the earth into total and eternal darkness which caused...


----------



## scareme

everyone to bump into things since they couldn't see where they were going. N. Fantom bumped into something with an extremly sharp edge, cutting his...


----------



## N. Fantom

wrists and bleeding him to death which depressed the entire population so much that...


----------



## Hairazor

They mummified him so they could---


----------



## N. Fantom

Worship his incredibly handsome body in the...


----------



## scareme

carnival sideshow. Now people would pay....


----------



## N. Fantom

640 million dollars to...


----------



## Goblin

buy some Girl Scout cookies and..............


----------



## Hairazor

build a monument with them for---


----------



## N. Fantom

the reincarnated N. Fantom.


----------



## ladysherry

It started to rain as they .....


----------



## N. Fantom

danced around the monument because..


----------



## Goblin

it was the only way to..............


----------



## Hairazor

show how much they itched due to----


----------



## Goblin

a flea epidemicc that had spread to the.............


----------



## ladysherry

peeps that hang out on Hauntforum.


----------



## PirateLady

Finally,IMU set up a flea fogger which


----------



## Goblin

killed all the fleas but attracted a horde of killer chickens that..............


----------



## scareme

attacked anything that moved. Luckly they could only walk backwards so they were not very fast, which allowed us to......


----------



## Goblin

drive the getaway car very fast only to have it.............


----------



## Hairazor

run into a cow that was---


----------



## N. Fantom

making butter for...


----------



## ladysherry

Me. I was baking the crust for my....


----------



## aquariumreef

uncle Fred. As soon as it was done...


----------



## Hairazor

I had to hide a saw in it so----


----------



## ladysherry

I could break out


----------



## N. Fantom

of the cow that was making butter. He was in there because...


----------



## ladysherry

He ate all the sugar


----------



## Goblin

then wanted something to drink so he................


----------



## Hairazor

broke into a Dairy Queen because---


----------



## ladysherry

He thought he was the King of Dairy...


----------



## N. Fantom

and wanted to get inside the queen to...


----------



## scareme

wash out someones mouth with soap. Once that task was compleated, we went looking for...


----------



## N. Fantom

something to get the taste of soap out of his mouth from...


----------



## scareme

the freezer, where they kept the....


----------



## Hairazor

Extra body parts they used for---


----------



## ladysherry

the scarecrow in the ...


----------



## Goblin

field was really a demon that............


----------



## ladysherry

Snatched up bad little children and kept them in .....


----------



## Hairazor

a box under the bed in the ---


----------



## ladysherry

dusty attic. As he was storing one of the boxes he discovered.....


----------



## scareme

a small opening in the wall, leading to...


----------



## Goblin

a scret chamber filled with a huge treasure..............


----------



## scareme

of gold and jewels. The only problem was....


----------



## ladysherry

He was too big to fit in the hole so he ......


----------



## Hairazor

climbed out the window to see---


----------



## ladysherry

if there was anyone to help but discovered...


----------



## Goblin

there was no one around for miles and..................


----------



## Hairazor

he was losing his grip so he---


----------



## Goblin

started screaming for help as loud as he could.............


----------



## scareme

until a pack of rabid doggs heard his cries. See the dogs charging, he wished he would have kept his big mouth shut. Oh well, it's times like this I'm gald I carry a .....


----------



## Goblin

a sawed off shotgun under my coat! He then...............


----------



## ladysherry

Began to think what he had that he could bargain with...


----------



## Goblin

and realized he didn't have anything, so he...................


----------



## ladysherry

ran thinking that he could outrun the rabid dogs .....


----------



## Hairazor

who were gaining on him, then he saw a bear in his path so he---


----------



## ladysherry

Closed his eyes and clicked his heels together three times and repeated.....


----------



## Goblin

"Get me out of here! Get me out of here! Get me out of here!"


----------



## ladysherry

There was a bright flash of light and smoke after clicking his heels and it seems ......


----------



## Hairazor

he was instantly transported to the land of Halloween! When he got his bearings the first thing he did was---


----------



## ladysherry

make sure all his body parts were intake and then took a look to his left and saw...


----------



## N. Fantom

the most horrifying thing ever, rosie o'donnell naked!


----------



## ladysherry

Then he turn to his right ...


----------



## Goblin

and drive for thirty miles till he came to..............


----------



## ladysherry

a fork in the road with a sign that pointed the way to.....


----------



## Hairazor

either a laboratory or a labyrinth. He needed to make a quick decision which way to go so---


----------



## N. Fantom

he chose the labyrinth because he...


----------



## Goblin

could hide in the dark and wait for.............


----------



## ladysherry

it, wait for it, then he saw it over in the corner it was a .......


----------



## Hairazor

cross between a unicorn and a devil. When the UniVil saw him it reared up on it's back legs and---


----------



## Goblin

hissed at him venonmously then charged..............


----------



## RoxyBlue

...a new suit of clothes on his JC Penney credit card. The sales person asked...


----------



## ladysherry

he wanted the gold or silver high heels to go with the suit. He replied .....


----------



## Hairazor

I'll take both then I can mix and match. But do you have a ---


----------



## ladysherry

Very colorful scarf to go with the suit and a ....."


----------



## Spooky1

nice fedora to top it all off. He then offered to buy the sales persons soul for ...


----------



## Hairazor

The promise of a romp in the woods with her favorite Ghoul but ---


----------



## scareme

since the weather was nice and sunny, and everyone knows ghouls will only romp in damp, dark weather, she had to settle for a ride on the....


----------



## Goblin

Love Boat which struck an ice cube and sank, causing............


----------



## scareme

a sticky sweet syrup slick. rather like a oil slick, but tastier, to spread across the gulf port. Oh not again, the wildlife thought, but tasting the syrup, decided it would make tasty sno-cones. Just in time for the big party to celebrate.....


----------



## ladysherry

My birthday. I have invited all including ......


----------



## Hairazor

that pesky door to door vacuum cleaner salesman who assures me his vacuums are---


----------



## Goblin

the best in the world, only you find out.............


----------



## ladysherry

they are really an alien from another galaxy. When the aliens are in your home they check out your.......


----------



## Hairazor

bathroom and are fascinated by the swirly water in the white porcelain machine with a lid. They are convinced it is ---


----------



## scareme

a way to travel to the more exciting places on our planet. Let's try it, I've always wanted to see.....


----------



## Goblin

downtown Hicksville where everyone wears.............


----------



## ladysherry

overalls and flannel shirts. But what is that in their hair? It looks like.....


----------



## Goblin

bright pink streaks that glowed in the dark. It was.............


----------



## scareme

a new form of hair coloring made from....


----------



## Goblin

smashed pumpkins mixed with Number 9 red dye................


----------



## Hairazor

that was applied with a paint brush. But you had to be careful not to leave the color on too long or---


----------



## ladysherry

it would eat your brain. The zombies would starve to death if there were no brains to eat I guess they would have to resort to eating ......


----------



## Haunted Bayou

"pink slime", which has to be stolen from....


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

the high school cafeteria down the road. Now that it's missing, the food will have to have...


----------



## Goblin

to be flown in from different locations until..............


----------



## N. Fantom

it sprouts legs and


----------



## Goblin

runs away and hunts on...............


----------



## N. Fantom

tributes from district 12.


----------



## Goblin

Meanwhile everyone was anticipating the return of.............


----------



## N. Fantom

the president of


----------



## debbie5

Ireland when


----------



## Haunted Bayou

(I wish I could see what happens inside of debbie5's brain...LOL)

an imported beer embargo caused Michael Higgins (prez) to delay his trip......


----------



## Spooky1

and form the Guinness army. The army then invades ....


----------



## Hairazor

the airport and is so jammed with unscheduled planes that they---


----------



## N. Fantom

bus everyone to the capitol where...


----------



## Sawtooth Jack

they are each given a government potato and a pint of stout, however...


----------



## Goblin

there was a hungry monster approaching that was.................


----------



## ladysherry

sizing up the people to see who would be a delicious treat and who would be a full meal. As he scanned the crowd of people he noticed.......


----------



## badger

...that everyone seemed to be wearing a tie, with the exception of one guy who...


----------



## Hairazor

had a cloth bag over his head. Whenever he moved---


----------



## lissat

to the beat of the disco music coming over the loudspeaker, his...


----------



## Sawtooth Jack

ample body shook, which caused the giant monster to...


----------



## Hairazor

swoon with delight. The monster got so light headed he---


----------



## Goblin

fainted and able to be captured. Then it was..........


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: total chaos in the streets, when all of a sudden


----------



## Hairazor

the streets began to rumble and shake with great force and with a deafening roar a big split opened up revealing---


----------



## RoxyBlue

a tiny mouse wearing a fedora and tap shoes. Peering around, he suddenly noticed.....


----------



## Goblin

that zombies were trying to get in the house. so he..............


----------



## Sawtooth Jack

pulled out his special cheese and...


----------



## Goblin

and made grilled cheese sanwiches............


----------



## Hairazor

the sandwiches were such a huge hit he---


----------



## ladysherry

Was made mayor of the little town. When all of a sudden he heard a ....


----------



## aquariumreef

big smash when...


----------



## Goblin

suddely there arose such a clatter............


----------



## ladysherry

the town ran to see what was the matter. They saw ...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: Sasquatch eating jerky treats and clipping his toenails. This made the tiny mouse so enraged that the Squatch toenail trimmings may get on the toasted cheese toasts that he ......


----------



## Hairazor

began to chew off the Sasquatch toenails to keep them off the sandwichs. Sasquatch--


----------



## ladysherry

thought this was funny since it tickled. he was laughing so hard......


----------



## scareme

he fell of his chair, landing on the mouse. The mouse squeeked, "I think you broke my....


----------



## Hairazor

coccyx. Now I will need to sit on a donut when I go to---


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: ...to visit the Queen! Suddenly the royal coach pulled up...


----------



## Goblin

and the queen got out and ordered a.............


----------



## scareme

round for the house. Everyone cheered, and sang.....


----------



## N. Fantom

a Verka Serduchka song.


----------



## ladysherry

They all danced around like they never had before. Some were even .....


----------



## Hairazor

trying to outdo each other with their fancy steps. All of a sudden a big gong sounded and---


----------



## ladysherry

it rattled the ground and hurt their ears. Some of them started to tear off their......


----------



## Sawtooth Jack

Shoes and pluck at their toenails, when all of a sudden...


----------



## N. Fantom

clothing and sang...


----------



## Hairazor

Ding dong the witch is dead in an ever increasing frenzy. Just when it got to the point they thought it couldn't get any more frenzied---


----------



## Goblin

a sudden tornado came up and dropped them in OZ...........


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: ...but it was a sick, mutated OZ and the munchkins came out with jagged teeth and glassy eyes and beginning taking small bites out of the new arrivals....


----------



## ladysherry

But the new arrivals tasted like.....


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...deep fried chit'lins....which was actually quite disgusting and suddenly the rabid-sharp-toothed Munchkins turned and looked behind them and....


----------



## Hairazor

Saw the Great and twisted Oz descending on them from a big dark thundercloud. The munchkins were so afraid that they---


----------



## Goblin

all ran inside and hid under the bed until..........


----------



## ladysherry

they heard a faint tinkling of a bell. One was brave enough to crawl out from under the bed and peek thru a slit in the door to see what was ringing the bell. What he saw was .....


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: ...the great and powerful and Twisted Oz holding down Glenda, and beating her senseless....and suddenly


----------



## Hairazor

Tinkerbell appeared. The munchkins were so awed to see a crossover character that they---


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: (hold on one minute...I am laughing too hard at Hairazor's 'cross over character':lolkin they burst into spontaneous combustion and all burned down to cinders...and Tinkerbell, coughing through the burnt Munchkin fumes waves her wand and suddenly....


----------



## Goblin

and repairs Munchkinland good as new............


----------



## Hairazor

but Tnkerbells unknown until this very moment evil twin, Wrinklebell, appeared on the scene in a huge---


----------



## Ramonadona

puff of smoke, which turned all the young people old and the old people into zombies, which caused...


----------



## Hairazor

a wild Monster Mash dance marathon to break out. The dancing went on well into the night unil---


----------



## Goblin

everyone was exhausted and called it a night. The......


----------



## ladysherry

Wizard was trying to figure out what happened, he was looking thru his books but he couldn't read which caused ....


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...which caused the Wicked Witch of the East to be reincarnated and come back on her broom, with such a vengence that even the horse of a different color turned from blue to black and then began cantering around like something out of the Buffalo Bill Wild West Show..and


----------



## Hairazor

Wrinklebell felt her power challenged so she huffed and she puffed and she---


----------



## Goblin

blew the entire forum to smithereens and had to............


----------



## ladysherry

try to find the three little pigs, they were the only ones who could build it back. She started looking for them ......


----------



## badger

...at the local grocery store which was in a state of panic because they had just run out of...


----------



## Hairazor

toilet paper. She looked high and she looked low at the grocery for the 3 pigs and finally found them at the meat counter where they were paying their last respects to kinfolk and wiping their eyes with the very last rolls of toilet paper. The pigs angrily---


----------



## Goblin

attacked the meatcutter and then went after the..........


----------



## ladysherry

the baker. Til she showed them .....


----------



## Hairazor

her hot cross buns. That made them swoon with desire. Soon they were eating the buns and ---


----------



## Goblin

planning their next move, which was to............


----------



## Hairazor

Join the Rodeo and star in the---


----------



## Goblin

the brand new western called "Sagebrush Zombies" as the...........


----------



## Hairazor

Star bronc rider. But when the first pig got on a bronc---


----------



## Goblin

it was thrown so far in the air that it...........


----------



## ladysherry

saw the cow jumping over the moon and thought hmmmm.......


----------



## Goblin

wonder what lunar hamburgers taste like? They were............


----------



## Hairazor

so close that the pig jumped on the cow's back and they started circling---


----------



## ladysherry

the moon and wondered if he could get some cheese for the lunar burgers. Then out of the corner of his eye.....


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...he saw a ghost flying his way with an awful scream coming out of his gaping maw.....


----------



## Goblin

that he fainted dead away and was...........


----------



## ladysherry

carried away by these tiny people which looked like.....


----------



## Hairazor

E. T. They carried him to their space ship where they---


----------



## Goblin

took him the their planet and made him their king. He was...........


----------



## Hairazor

pampered and fattened up because he was really going to be ---


----------



## Goblin

their dinner as soon as they were ready to...........


----------



## Hairazor

eat. First they needed to do a ritual which consisted of---


----------



## Goblin

wearing green waders and chanting "Owatta jerksiam" as fast as they could over and over again..............


----------



## scareme

until they got so dizzy they fell down. So he was able to excape out the....


----------



## ladysherry

Garbage shoot. He slid for what seemed hours then he landed in ....


----------



## Hairazor

The rabbit hole with Alice. She sreamed, he squealed and they thrashed about because it was a tight fit. Alice said---


----------



## Goblin

"What in the heck am I doing in this hole?" She then............


----------



## ladysherry

looked down at what she was wearing and cried out ......


----------



## graveyardmaster

that"s something your mum would wear...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: E.T. agreed and said Alice looked much too young to be wearing such dawdy garments so he pulled out his magic finger (which was considerably thicker from all the fattening up) and......


----------



## Hairazor

Zapped her out of the rabbit hole and right into ---


----------



## Goblin

the Twilight Zone where she was............


----------



## Moon Dog

Met by the Flying Purple People Eater who broke out into song and sang...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: ..."just sitting on the dock of the bay, watching the tide roll away."...and then Alice started whistling in her best Otis Redding impersonation which made E.T.....


----------



## Hairazor

jump up and down with excitement. All the jumping broke the dock of the bay on which they were standing and they---


----------



## ladysherry

suddenly found themselves in a spinning vortex, Alice commented ......


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:..my what big eyes you have E.T. and E.T. stared blankly at her which was sort of his customary way of acting and then.....


----------



## ladysherry

thumbed her in the head and said " what are you thinking we are spinning out of control and your are looking at my eyes" E.T. was flattered thou then....


----------



## Moon Dog

the spinning stopped and they emerged out of the vortex and could not believe their eyes as they found themselves...


----------



## Spooky1

in OZ. Then from the sky comes a cackle, and the Wicked Witch of the West comes flying by and .....


----------



## ladysherry

due to the witch getting a new broom she was not sure how to apply the brakes which caused her to....


----------



## Moon Dog

Trade her broom in on a new jet powered Kirby. Just then from out of the sky...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: Mothra comes flying in with his big leathery wings and the force of the wing-flutter sent E.T. and Alice spinning out of control once again and when..


----------



## Hairazor

they finally landed they found themselves in a tangled heap in the middle of a labyrinth that seemed to go on forever. Suddenly they heard loud breathing and saw, coming toward them, a---


----------



## Moon Dog

figure that seemed to be nothing more than a shadow, it was at that time they could feel the hair standing up on the back of their necks...


----------



## Goblin

because there were ghosts and goblins roaming about and.............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...and suddenly the hair on the back of their necks that had been standing up began turning into snakes, slithering and crawling all over poor little Alice and by this E.T. was a basket case, screaming, "phone home, phone home"....and other alien jibberish.....


----------



## RoxyBlue

...until even more suddenly Ash Williams appeared, shotgun in hand. With a cool eye and steady hand, he took aim and fired, blowing away all the snakes - and unfortuantely also blowing away E.T. in the process. He turned to Alice and, taking her hand, said "Gimme some sugar, baby", to which she replied....


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:....let's go Baby! And grabbed his hand to pull him with her, but in her haste she grabbed the hand holding the gun and the weapon accidentally fired and a huge bloom of red blood covered Alice from head to toe, just then.....


----------



## ladysherry

a hugh purple cloud of smoke appeared and thru the smoke she saw a VERY BIG grin coming towards her. She couldn't believe her eyes and began......


----------



## badger

...gorging herself on the plate of doughnuts that mysteriously appeared by her side being carried by a Tibetan dwarf named...


----------



## Goblin

Bubbles and was accompanied by a huge.............


----------



## ladysherry

one eyed cat. The cat was jealous of Alice he wanted the donuts badly so he....


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:..sliced her open with one stroke of his massive, razor sharp claws, and as Alice died...in little pieces all over the ground, suddenly...
(sorry guys, I had to off Alice, she had been played out...)


----------



## ladysherry

these little creatures with long noses started to suck up the pieces, they acted like they haven't eaten in weeks then they realized they were being watched....


----------



## Hairazor

by Elmo. He had never seen anything like them and really wanted to meet them. He started to move closer when---


----------



## Lord Homicide

-- one noticed him and they all started to bite off --


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...little bits of Elmo's fur...and Elmo started to giggle because the fur-offing was a bit ticklish and you know how Elmo is about being tickled and then...


----------



## ladysherry

Side note..... The writers of this story are sick!I mean that in a good way.
Back to the story......

Elmo peed on himself from laugh too hard. The little creatures were curious on how that happened and........


----------



## Hairazor

tried nibbling on each other to see if they could get it to happen to them. While they were busy doing that, Elmo---

**Thank you for the "sick" compliment**


----------



## Goblin

went back to Sesame Street for a large shipment of tools that were............


----------



## ladysherry

stored in Grouch's trash can. Grouch wanted to know what Elmo was doing so Elmo grabbed his hand and placed his finger against his nose.....


----------



## Spooky1

when scareme appeared and kidnapped Elmo for her ever growing army of Elmos. She then ....


----------



## Lord Homicide

set all the Elmos in existence ablaze, got out Ballpark franks and had a ...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: big furry weinie roast and there was buns, and chili and chips and everyone had a grand ole time....until.....


----------



## Hairazor

a rhinoceros saw the fire (and we all know from "The Gods Must Be Crazy" that rhinos always stomp out a fire) and the rhino stomped and had chili and chips and ashes all over him when---


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...Big Bird (concerned about Elmo's death) came busting in with a Dustdevil and started sucking all the broken chips and chili off of Rhino and...


----------



## ladysherry

the rhino started to scream "NOT THE CHILI....NOT THE CHILI".....Big Bird remembered that chili was a good moisterizer and understand why the rhino wanted the chili. Big bird then began to think about......


----------



## Lord Homicide

_Side note: P5 "...big furry weinie roast..." utterly disturbing_

... chicks and realized he didn't lose that lovin' feelin' so he went to Hooters ...


----------



## Pumpkin5

(another sidenote..Lord H...I didn't start the furry weinie roast, you set the Elmo's on fire....but they are furry....no?)

:jol: ...to get an extra big order of hot 'n spicy chicken wings, because birds of a feather apparently don't flock together...and Big Bird is a little bit of a cannibal, needless to say.....


----------



## Hairazor

the Hooters staff all crowded around to get an autograph and a few of them sneaked a kiss before---


----------



## ladysherry

Telling big bird that it was tofu not real meat. Big bird did not believe them so.....


----------



## Goblin

he ate it anyway and was immediately............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...stricken with mind-numbing stomach cramps, completely doubling him over and then....


----------



## Lord Homicide

... clutching his sphincter , he darted to the bathroom and realized there were only MENS and WOMENS. Panicking, sweat started to drench his plumes and...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: ....he realized the birds s*#$ anywhere they want to so he just decided to.......


----------



## Goblin

shoot every bird he saw until they were all gone.............


----------



## Lord Homicide

, including himself, except a Hooters girl saw him, ran over and started to ...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...cut his legs and wings off because you know that Hooters girls just love to serve wings and these were REALLY BIG WINGS...and just then there was a scream......


----------



## Lord Homicide

And someone pointed at the front door and yelled, "Ozzy!", who walked over to big bird and bit his head off ...


----------



## Goblin

and broke into a brand new song entitled............


----------



## Hairazor

Heads Will Roll! It became such a frenzied scene that Ozzy had to ---


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:..immediately be whisked away in a black stretch limo, when all of a sudden Simon Cowell came out and tried to get everyone to audtion for the XFactor when....


----------



## Hairazor

Sharon Osbourne said where are you taking Ozzie? He needs to tuck the baby in before---


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: ...he eats any more Bat/Big Bird heads....and she runs out in 6 inch heels and catches her heel on a fire grate and falls into a huge underground cavern where there are large Vampire Bats with long, sharp, fangs and then...


----------



## Goblin

she started screaming causing the bats to...............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: ..start fluttering madly, knashing their teeth and clawing each other to death, with all the bat blood and the guano flying, Sharon got up and said....


----------



## Hairazor

I still have to get Ozzie to tuck the baby in so she began wading through all the ick toward the light at the end of the tunnel when---


----------



## Goblin

suddenly the light went out and she was in total darkness. So she..............


----------



## Hairazor

felt along the wall and slowly made her way down the long dark tunnel. At the end of the tunnel the light was so bright after all that darkness it took her a few minutes to realize she was looking at---


----------



## Goblin

a searchlight that had been put there so that people would............


----------



## ladysherry

know where the party spot was. Sharon realized she was not dressed for the party so she in a flash she......


----------



## Hairazor

tore the sleeves off her shirt, tore the legs off her pants, tied her shirt above her midriff and said let's party. What she didn't know about the party was---


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...is that it was INVITATION ONLY, and since she had no invitation, a huge Troll with slobbering drool all over his hands tried to pick her up and throw her out, when......


----------



## Goblin

an army of tap dancing crabs showed up and...................


----------



## ladysherry

really got the party started. With all the new excitement the troll lost interest in Sharon and left her to ......


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...wander around the party, dancing with the various crabs and creatures and generally just having a swell time....and then there was a sonic boom and...


----------



## Hairazor

cats and dogs started to fall out of the sky with great abundance, hitting everyone and everything. As they hit the ground they would howl and yowl till a great unbearable sound filled the air. Of course---


----------



## ladysherry

some of the party goers were very fond of eating cats and dogs so it was total mayham everyone running around looking for knives and forks and plates. While all of this was going on in the center room ....


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...The Queen of All the Spiders, huge and black and deadly, unfurled from her long and silky web...and she began to to shoot out webspinners onto all the rushing party goers and each web would completely cover each creature until the whole party was a writhing mass of webcovered lumps, it was nearly too much to take in when..


----------



## Hairazor

Spider-man felt his Spidy sense tingling and webbed onto the scene. When he saw the Queen of All the Spiders he knew---


----------



## Goblin

that he had found the woman of his dreams and he...............


----------



## badger

immediately began making a web and transforming it into a...


----------



## ladysherry

diamond ring. The Queen was amazed and begun to ......


----------



## Hairazor

dance the dance of love. She swayed to and from, up and down and dreamed of ---


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: (sorry...I have to interject here...you realize the Spider Queen is like some gigantic black widow looking creature right????) ...and dreamed of finding the arachnid of her dreams....and then she spotted Spiderman, with his puny little human body and spandex spidey suit so she stuck her enormous fangs into Spiderman's body instantly killing him when all of a sudden..


----------



## Goblin

shew realized her mistake and gave him the antidote and.................


----------



## badger

The two of them began a long friendship that lasted well beyond...


----------



## Goblin

their lifetimes, or at least a week................


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: ...and after their passing, Spiderman's skeleton suddenly came to life and looked around everywhere for the Spider Queen, but only found a small greasey spot where she once had been, so the Spidey Skelly picked himself up, brushed off the dust and...


----------



## Hairazor

went to the tailor to have a new spidey suit made since he was now a skelly and somewhat smaller than he had been. While at the tailors his Spldey scense started tingling and he---


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...he looked out the window and saw a lovely corpsed skeleton female (known to the locals as Mama Deidre) who was walking in the street, singing a strange melodic song that drew corpses from their graves and human men from their beds.....


----------



## Goblin

and they organized the first human/corpse square dance and cookout...............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...in which Mama Deidre kept singing her trancing tune and the men kept coming and she wove her web of sinister intoxication in the VooDoo melody...


----------



## Goblin

which was such a toe tapper that Pumpkin5 started dancing around the room and............


----------



## Hairazor

grabbing everyones hands to pull them into the dance. Soon the music was getting louder and more frantic and with everyone whirling---


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...Goblin jumped in the middle of all the frantic dancers and started wavin his arms in the, and he waved them like he just didn't care...when suddenly


----------



## Goblin

Pumpkin5 tripped over her own feet and took out five other dancers! Then..............


----------



## Hairazor

everyone thought falling on the floor was the next big fad so they all fell down. While they were writhing on the floor to the music, a wicked chef poured jello over them and ---


----------



## RoxyBlue

...then released a horde of giant ants that promptly devoured everything covered in jello. In the silence that followed......


----------



## Goblin

everyone looked at each other, shrugged, and skipped off into the sunset............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...the sunset turned red and dark and the sky begin to bleed....
(sorry that is not much of a sentence...but you guys killed everyone)


----------



## Hairazor

and after 1 hour of heavy blood downpour, all the people incredibally and slowly came back to life. When they saw all the blood they were covered in they began to---


----------



## Goblin

to scream at the top of their lungs then went to ballet class..............


----------



## Copchick

...and saw a dozen white horses wearing red tutus and realized they weren't at an actual ballet class. They realized they wound up at a horse ballet...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:....and they were so excited because it was the 'Horse Ballet Version' of the _Nutcracker_ and when the mouse king came out, several of the horses got excited and actually stomped him to death...when suddenly...


----------



## Hairazor

the Grim Mouse Reaper swooped down and gently gathered up the stomped Mouse King and said I put a curse on you for---


----------



## Goblin

the next one hundred days. Everyone will have to wear bunny rabbit suits and............


----------



## Hairazor

run for their lives because people will be trying to get their feet for good luck. The bunny suited people were terrified and began plotting how to keep safe when---


----------



## Copchick

...the King White Rabbit, riding an ebony cat wearing bells came to them and said, "Fear not, I will protect you bunny suit wearing people". I will provide you solace...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...and a safe haven for you lost souls....so that you can be free and abandoned your bunny suits and live as real people...alive and living in......


----------



## RoxyBlue

East Peoria. Unfortunately for the bunny suiters, East Peoria was heavily populated at the time with avid bunny suit hunters, which led to a disastrous incident that later came to be known as....


----------



## Goblin

The Bunny Wars! Luckily for the bunny suiters they were able to reclaim their lost souls at the Peoria Lost and Found and carrot farm. Meanwhile.............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:..the avid bunny suit hunters, known here to fore as the _Bunhunts_ became obsessed with finding every last bunny suit and making sure they were wiped out....with fierce determination they gathered their weapons and...


----------



## Copchick

...headed into the cloak of night looking, searching through the fog for their prize. Quietly, they came upon some bun tracks. Bun tracks that lead to the base of a hollowed gnarled tree stump. When they looked inside it was very dark...


----------



## Hairazor

but they were determined so they plunged in. When they all got in they heard a big clang and looked back. The entrance had been sealed and they could see no way out. That caused them to panic and---


----------



## Copchick

..the bun hunters worried if they would ever see the light of day again. But they pushed forward deep into the bowels of the earth using only torches made from the bunny suits that they had confiscated. After many hours they came to a crossroad...


----------



## badger

...which was seemingly guarded by an old man in a long flowing robe who looked just like...


----------



## Hairazor

Goblin! He said in a menacing voice you must get past my scythe to venture on and I am very experienced at using it. The scared Bunhunters cowered in a huddle while---


----------



## Copchick

...Sheena, Bunhunter extradinaire, stepped forward. She was wearing her magical black leather onesy. With her head lowered, she looked through her bangs at Goblin and said, "Bring it on". She held high her mighty...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...light saber with the wicked razor edge on one side and the light force on the other and welded it with abandon, slashing the air with it's laser edge and creating a vortex of light that spun out into a huge tornado of energy, sucking in everything that was not nailed down.....(wow, this story just got interesting)


----------



## Goblin

Unfortunately it had no effect on Goblin whatsover as he possed cosmic magic. One wave of his hand and Sheena was turned into an orangatan................


----------



## Copchick

...but alas, Sheena's longtime boyfriend, The Saint of Killers, arrived just in time to stop Goblin's spell of turning Sheena into an orangatan. For her heart you see will always be human and have much love for her beau. The Saint of Killers seeing Sheena turning into an orangatan, started toward his foe...


----------



## Hairazor

who wrapped his robe around him while at the same time swinging his sythe in a huge arc over his head and disappeared in a puff of smoke that could be seen---


----------



## Goblin

seen by his fierce dragons that came to their master's aid and attacked The Saint of Killers
and devoured him then they took to the skies and...............


----------



## Copchick

...left Sheena and the rest of the Bunhunters to fend for themselves. With a broken heart from the loss of her beau, Sheena completed her transformation into an orangatan. The Bunhunters didn't know what to do with an orangatan...


----------



## Hairazor

so they decicded to have the "Sherangatan" go first as they proceded down the tunnel. After what seemed like hours they came to a large pit in the middle of the floor. They all crowded around and looked down and gasped---


----------



## Copchick

...what they saw was the other side of the looking glass. But it led to China, or so they thought. Actually it was the portal into Chinatown, New York City. They jumped for joy...


----------



## Evil Andrew

.....realizing that that mayor had not yet outlawed Big Gulps, an they were free to have any size fountain drink they wanted. Of course, they gave no sugary drinks to the Sherangutan, as this would...........


----------



## Goblin

give her a tremendous sugar rush that would.............


----------



## Hairazor

make her sprout wings and fly away. They didn't want her to leave them as they felt she made a good guide and protection. They tried to distract her from the sugary drink by bribing her with---


----------



## Copchick

...bananas (what else for an orangatan?). They started walking through Chinatown and were amazed by the all the delicious smells in the air. Their stomachs rumbling for food they decided to stop for a bite at...


----------



## Goblin

the new resteraunt Pumpkin5 had opened called Shay Pumpkin. They ordered the............


----------



## Hairazor

house special which was pumpkin seed omelet with a side of pumpkin toast. As they were eating they were approached by a policeman. He wanted to know what they were up to with the bun suits and a sherangutan. Once he knew they were friends of Copchick he---


----------



## Copchick

...pulled up a chair and joined them as he had never met a Sherangutan and was so interested in their telling of their story of adventure or misadventure. Officer Nick felt so sorry for them that he gave them a ride in his brand new police wagon that fit everyone comfortably, but without the bun suits. He asked them...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:..if they wanted him to flash the lights and sirens (because of course everyone knows who has ever gotten a chance to ride in a cop car in a fun way...you pretty much WANT the lights and sirens on) and so Nick took them on a wild and very loud ride through the city and as he was driving there was a loud THUMP on the roof.....and suddenly a hand crashed through the metal of the roof and it was the creepy guy from Jeepers Creepers and he......


----------



## Goblin

asked for directions to the old monster's home to visit his grandfather Jasper Creepers. 
Nobody knew where it was located so they told himn.............


----------



## Copchick

..."Go down two blocks and make a right." (That's what we tell everyone) They figured they'd be far away from Jeepers Creepers by the time he discovered they were bluffing him. Officer Nick was turning the curves at break neck speed pushing that shiney police wagon to it's fullest, all the while thinking...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...why did that Jeepers Creepers dude have to lick me with his vile, pointed tongue....he was lost in thought when....


----------



## Goblin

he didn't see the rapidly approaching brick wall or the tap dancing ducks that were..............


----------



## Copchick

...dancing on top of it. He swerved, he skidded, and it was just too late. He crashed that shiney wagon into the wall at a breathtaking speed of 15 mph. The ducks...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...all began flapping their wings and were not injured at all, but poor officer Nick and his passengers didn't fare as well because the brick wall was really made out of styrofoam bricks that Copchick had made for a Halloween display and.......


----------



## Copchick

...they broke into a million pieces. Everyone had pink styrofoam pieces sticking to their hair, clothes and feathers from the static cling. They looked like they had some sort of demented outbreak of a pink rash. The ducks didn't miss a beat in their tap dancing and...


----------



## Goblin

were soon joined by several yodeling pigs that Pumpkin6 had raised for.............


----------



## Hairazor

a local yodeling contest. The first prize was to be a chance to be shot out of a cannon. The pigs were judged to be the winners and Pumpkin excitedly scrambled onstage to accept her prize. She suited up, stepped to the mouth of the cannon and---


----------



## Copchick

...one leg in then the other leg and down the cannon she went. It was dark except for that spot of light at the end. With excited anticipation she waited until BA-BOOM!!! Pumpkin felt...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: (wait...how did I get in this freaky story??) felt her body being catipulted out at an alarming speed and she just knew that she was going to land in the ocean....which made her smile because of all places in the world...the ocean is her most favorite......


----------



## Hairazor

place to be. She came in for a hard landing but had only a tiny crack around one side of her mouth. To her joy she found she floated with grace. She was enjoying the gentle swells of the waves and just paddling around when a big shark started circling and circling and---


----------



## Goblin

then it ate Grace and was moving toward Pumpkin5 who was swimming for dear life right into a school iof jellyfish that.............


----------



## Copchick

...all said "Ewww, a gourd!" and scattered away. But seeing how sad the Pumpkin was after they made her feel bad by their outburst, they became more curious. They slowly swam up next to her and they saw how bright and beautiful her orange skin was. They enclosed themselves around her to protect her from the shark...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: (Awwwwww....Copchick...you saved me! ) The jellyfish found it amazingly fun to swim in and out of Pumpkin's head and were playing their favorite game, 'how many jellies can fit in a gourd?'...when all of a sudden....


----------



## Copchick

...Pumpkin had this incredible urge to...Ah Ah Ah Chooo! She sneezed so hard that she blew out some of the jellyfish through her triangle nose. The mean shark after seeing this, laughed so hard at seeing what he thought was snot coming out of Pumpkin's nose that...


----------



## Goblin

he called his entire family and friends over to see it. Suddenly, Pumpkin's foot got caught in a giant clam. 
The sharks came closer, then the barracuda came, and a giant octopus came and wrapped all it's tentacles a
round Pumpkin! Then.....something terrible happened!

They all went away, and Pumpkin was all alone again!


----------



## Copchick

...Pumpkin started feeling bloated for all the time she had been in the water so spotting the beach she swam towards it. She was washed ashore by the waves...


----------



## Hairazor

and she rolled till she came up against a sand dune. As she regained her equilibrium she looked around. As far as the eye could see the beach was full of star fish with little pistols strapped on (shooting stars) and they seemed to be in the middle of---


----------



## Goblin

their annual crab festival. Suddenly, Gilligan and the Skipper walked up and............


----------



## Copchick

...said, "Hey, got crabs? If you don't, you can have some of ours." We just caught them this morning...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: ....and Pumpkin was all starstruck because it was Skipper and his little buddy...and she was hoping to get an autograph from them when suddenly the island ghost made an appearance.....


----------



## Hairazor

Pumpkin said I ain't afraid a no ghosts, I'm a member of my Ghostbusters local and with that she opened the top of her gourd and pulled out a water pistol filled with holy water. She took aim and---


----------



## Goblin

and shot Skipper and Gilligan in the face. They in turn pulled out their water pistols and
fired back at Pumpkin! They were soon joined by Ginger, Mary Ann, The Howells, and the Professor, all shooting wter pistols at Pumpkin!


----------



## Hairazor

Pumpkin ducked and dodged and rolled back into the water. All the shooting starfish thought it looked like a fun game so they all crowded into the water after Pumpkin. Soon the water was churning so violently that---


----------



## Goblin

everyone thought the sharks were having a feeding franzy. Then, Pumpkin's water
pistol ran out of water. Pumpkin had to...............


----------



## Copchick

...take in a bunch of water in her mouth. Her intent? She held the water in her mouth and at the just the right moment she spit the water stream at the Skipper, Gilligan, the Professor, the Howells, Ginger and Maryann. The force of the stream caught them so off guard...


----------



## Sawtooth Jack

The Professor dropped his coconut-shell radio causing a tremendous static sound which...


----------



## Copchick

...they all blamed on Gilligan. Why not, he gets blamed for everything. They all knew they would never get off the island thanks to Gilligan. They yelled at Pumpkin to send help, but she only...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: ...rolled over one time in the waves and floated away to another wonderful adventure.....(like a cork on the pond)...meanwhile many miles away on the beatiful island of Maui, two zombies had just crawled out of the crypt......


----------



## Sawtooth Jack

It was another beautiful night on the island and the smell of brains wafted over the zombies from the beach party nearby...


----------



## Goblin

given by Frankie and Annette for the Fourth of July and they had invited............


----------



## Sawtooth Jack

All the biggest brains in town, which of course explained the delicious smell bringing the hungry zombies ever closer. The party was just getting into full-swing when...


----------



## Copchick

...ZombieGirl and ZombieMan crept up to Frankie and Annette trying not make any noise. They couldn't help but drool from smelling their brains mixed with the smells of beer and...


----------



## Goblin

cheese doodles! Just as the zombies were about to attack Godzilla rose from the depths
and his fire breath incinerated zombies and party goers alike. Then, something terrible happened..............


----------



## Sawtooth Jack

Standing on a nearby hillside and witness to the catastrophe, Michael Bay decided to make a special effects-laden film of the whole thing. Whistling some hideous tune, he turned and walked toward his car...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...and because he was whistling and not really paying attention (because he wasn't really a multitasker and had difficulty chewing gum and walking so whistling was a huge hurdle) he fell into a huge sinkhole and fell a good 250 miles towards the center of the Earth where it was quite molten and just so friggin-fraggin hot when.....


----------



## Hairazor

he got tangled in a big glowing web full of mutant glowing spiders. He was so terrified he began to scream until a blood vessel in his nose started to bleed. His screaming seemed to make the spiders---


----------



## RoxyBlue

...really irritable, which they demonstrated by wrapping him up in a soundproof cocoon of webbery. They then decided to take a little stroll up out of the sinkhole to the earth's surface, where....


----------



## Goblin

they began to attack everyone in sight. The spiders began to multiply rapidly and............


----------



## Hairazor

in a festive mood after all the mayhem, they joined legs and did a Very leggy cancan. Legs were kicking in perfect unison, first this way then that, up and down. One of the spiders in the midfle of the line got one of his legs tangled and they---


----------



## Copchick

...all went tumbling in one big heap of hairy legs and spider silk that happened when someone had sneezed too hard while falling and damn, look what happened. They silked themselves. They all began to laugh so hard at their predicament...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol: (Sorry....I am laughing so hard, here...Copchick! They "silked themselves" OMG! You are too funny.....)
Okay, okay...they laughed so hard at their predicament that they sent out little web shooters that caught in the wind and as it did, the glowing spiders fanned out across the darkness and lit up the night sky like a thousand fireflys......


----------



## RoxyBlue

...drawing the attention of the local Orkin man, who loaded up his truck with gallons of "Spider No More" and......


----------



## Goblin

and headed for town. Unfortunately they got their directions mixed up and they wound up at the.............


----------



## Hairazor

toxic dump. At first the Orkin men couldn't figure out where they were but when they noticed they were starting to glow and felt a bit runny---


----------



## Goblin

and suddenly they turned into giant spiders! All seemed lost when Goblin showed up with a giant can of raid and............


----------



## Copchick

...sprayed and sprayed until all of the little spiders were DOA (dead on arrival). Goblin grinned widely at the pleasure of extinguishing the troublesome critters. Just then Goblin got a funny feeling like he was being watched. He turned slowly...


----------



## RoxyBlue

..and found himself staring down the maw of a very large and very hungry Kraken. Before Goblin could even get out a "Holy crap!", the Kraken....


----------



## Goblin

realizing the big mistake it had made, fled in terror. Meanwhile, the team of Roxy, Spooky1, Pumpkin5 and Copchick prepared to travel to..............


----------



## Copchick

(All right guys, Goblin set this up so we're going on a trip!)

...Hawaii! All the arrangements had been made to take the trip by Copchick's millionaire fiance. (He just wanted her to be happy!) Their adventure will consist of a helicopter tour with a hike into a volcano, a tour of Pearl Harbor, a dolphin swim and of course an authentic luau. They will...


----------



## Goblin

have a great time if they survive their meeting with the Supreme Halloween Overlord and his evil minions who considered humans as breakfast food! They were...............


----------



## Hairazor

blithely unaware such a being as "The Overlord" existed. They arrived in Hawaii and thought the first place to start was a luau since it was evening. No sooner had the firepit been lit when, with a spectacular flash of light, "The Overlord" appeared in all his dreaded glory. He sneared down on the trembling group and in a reverberating voice dripping with scorn boomed---


----------



## Copchick

..."WHO COMES TO MY ISLAND WITHOUT AN OFFERING FOR 'THE OVERLORD'?" The group shook their heads because The Overlord's booming voice had left them with a ringing in their ears. At the same time they all said "What?" With a rolling of his eyes...


----------



## Goblin

the Overlord waved his hand and they could not move! Then, yelling his famous warcry of "Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck!" he hit each of them in the face with a Boston Creme Pie and did a little victory dance, then...............


----------



## Copchick

...after wiping his face off from the delicious Boston Cream pie, Spooky 1 took two fingers and poked the Overloard in the eyes. It was then...


----------



## Hairazor

that the other 3 dropped, rolled and tipped the Overlord over before he could recover from the eye poke. They had wisely saved some spun spider web (really strong stuff you know and a bit magical) and tied the Overlord up in a neat web package. The Overlord huffed and puffed and---


----------



## Goblin

summoned his deadly flying Jack-O-Lantern army and ordered them to attack without  mercy! The four had no choice but to flee the onslaught and.............


----------



## Copchick

...took a yellow sailboat to the neighboring island, Maui in the hopes of getting away from the Jack-O-Lantern army and continue their vacation. They watched as one after the other, the Jack-O-Lanterns dove into the crystal blue ocean and...


----------



## Goblin

and swam after them. Suddenly a huge tidal wave a hundred feet high loomed before them and they were................


----------



## Hairazor

thrown willy nily onto the shore in a big broken heap. The travelers looked at each other then the pile of pumpkins and said are you thinking what I'm thinking? They made a mad rush toward the pile and started gathering all the pumpkin seeds for---


----------



## Goblin

planting to grow pumpkins for Halloween. Meanwhile, hundreds of werewolves had arrived for the annual Lon Chaney Jr. memorial barbecue................


----------



## Copchick

...and they were ready to party. They had their "Wolfbrau Beer" in the coolers, their dinner was also packed on ice which was ribs, steak, and chicken. No, no veggie burgers, they are carnivores you know. They spotted the travelors watching them...


----------



## PirateLady

with horror. They all looked at each other and laughed. One of the werewolves, the Instigator of the group decided.....


----------



## Hairazor

let's have some fun with these gaping weaklings. So they got in a huddle while the leader described his plan. They gave a group paw bump and leeringly started to circle the humans. At a nod from the lead w-wolf ---


----------



## Goblin

all the Werewolves started a huge pie fight that lasted for several hours, then when it was all over they..............


----------



## Hairazor

began licking their fur to clean off all the pumpkins innards. The humans looked on with amazement as the w-wolves began coughing up hairballs from all the licking. The hairballs---


----------



## Goblin

grew quickly into full grown werewolves....hungry werewolves! Meanwhile, Pumpkin5 had fed her Mogwai after midnight and her house was full of Gremlins.............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:Because as we all know P5 cannot follow simple directions at all and while the gremlins were wreaking havoc the newly formed hair ball wolves began gobbling up the gremlins....soon all the gremlins were eaten up...the wolves were full from gorging on gremlins and the larger Werewolves offered to ride the four travelers around for a "wolf's eye view" of the island.....


----------



## Copchick

...so the travelers saddled up. The Queen She-Wolf named Timber and her packmates Storm, Koda, and Luna rode the four travelers around the island. They were so amazed at how the wolves...


----------



## Goblin

were so smart and friendly. Then, suddenly the volcano erupted showering everyone with hot lava the only thing that saved them was Superman happened to be flying by and............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...and turned the Earth back several times on it's axis, reversing time and giving the werewolves and their riders time to dive into the cool ocean water just before the hot lava rained down on top of them....they were saved......and to thank Superman for saving them from certain death, they decided to......


----------



## RoxyBlue

move to a quiet neighborhood in a gated community where life was normal and everyone had cookouts on Saturdays. The house they moved into.....


----------



## Copchick

...wasn't so normal. It was haunted, but the spirits were friendly. To prepare for Halloween, they would all...


----------



## Hairazor

put on their best shrouds and decorate like whirling dervishes. At the given hour they all assembled in the entryway to greet their guests. The featured attraction was---


----------



## Goblin

"Dancing with the Deceased Stars" where forum members got to dance with dead movie stars with the proceeds going to..............


----------



## Copchick

... the "Re-Orienting Children Not Wanting to be Zombies" organiztion. It's purpose is to re-orient these children to the eating of brains as a delicacy, walking with a step-slide gait, how to wear old raggedy clothes, and how to smell really rotten. Some deceased stars appearing in the show include...


----------



## ladysherry

Patrick Swayze dancing to had the time of my life. and .......


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:....and Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra doing a song and dance routine,  but Elvis was so jealous that they got the headline on the playbill that he threw a fit and caused such a ruckus, the newly dead Whitney Houston had to intervene......


----------



## Copchick

...because she just can't keep her nose out of things (eh-hem, yeah you know what I'm talking about). Also there was Fred Astair and Ginger Rogers, just cuttin' up a rug. Lucy and Desi were there and...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:....and even some favorites like Kurt Cobain, Michael Jackson, John Lennon and Harry Belafonte (oh wait...he is still alive...sort of....) and all the singers got together and started to sing like in a "We Are The World" kind of fashion, except it was the song "This is Halloween", and it was the theme to a Nightmare before Christmas and they were singing and dancing and everyone was having just the best time...when all of a sudden, Whitney screamed out...."Crack is Wack"....and starting ripping off and throwing parts of her body around......


----------



## Copchick

(Okay I'm laughing out loud now. Freakin' Whitney, crack is whack! Lol)

...when Elvis grabbed Whitney's foot flying past him. Elvis hadn't lost his appetite, even though he's dead. With Whitney throwing herself onto other people, she just fell apart. Dean and Frank...


----------



## Goblin

organized a body part throwing war with the forum members, who couldn't throw their body parts at the deceased stars, so they threw tomatoes instead, except for Pumpkin5 who didn't have tomatoes so she threw rocks.............


----------



## ladysherry

The forum members were having so much fun that they lost track of time and before they knew it, it was halloween eve and none of them had their displays ready for the ToT's. They began to panic and .....


----------



## Hairazor

try to talk the deceased into being in their haunts. They figured they could also gather up all the body parts that had been thrown around and use them in a grisly manner. The dead would also be able to make authentic moaning sounds. The dead asked what was in it for them. The forum members promised---


----------



## Goblin

them miminum wage and a half hour lunch breaks. The deceased stars reluctantly agreed to it, but just when nobody thought things could get any worse...........the giant ants attacked!


----------



## Copchick

...the giant ants looked like the War of the World Tripods. They marched through, stomping around, moving their giant ant pinchers back and forth until...


----------



## Goblin

everyone fled in terror. The giant ants were soon joined by giant wasps that.............


----------



## Hairazor

started a huge battle over which pest would rule the world. Stingers and pinchers were flying in all directions and the noise was horrendous. No one noticed when a monkey sneaked into the midst of the fray with a huge cannister of Raid and began spraying everything that moved. After a few minutes-----


----------



## Copchick

...the ants went belly up and the wasps came crashing to the ground. The monkey stood and pounded his chest with his fists...


----------



## Lord Homicide

...and forgot about the Raid can that shot him in the face. Suddenly...


----------



## Copchick

...he keeled over like King Kong did when he was shot down. KA-BOOM! They had a monkey funeral for him...


----------



## Lord Homicide

... and everyone went bananas over...


----------



## Goblin

Pumpkin5, Hairazor, and Copchick's Three Stooges impersonation that had them.............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...rolling on the ground, laughing hysterically....Not to be outdone, Goblin put on a top hat, grabbed a cane and with great zest and vigor began doing an incredibly complicated tap dance routine....Copchick, Hairazor and Pumpkin5 immediately stopped their Stooge rountine and stood gaping at Goblin.....because they had no idea that he was so skilled a dancer....as Goblin turned to slide his cane to the side....all of a sudden....


----------



## Hairazor

the 3 hauntateers saw the banana peel dropped by the monkey was right by Goblin's foot. Not wanting him to fall they all screamed and dived for him at the same time. The resulting---


----------



## Goblin

headcracker rendered the four of them unconscious for three days! When they awoke they were surprised to discover that..............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...had all been booked into a swanky 5 star resort, by the oh so generous LordHomicide. He had been worried about his forum friends when he discovered them all laying knocked out on the ground. So in a 'good will' gesture he arranged for a first class spa trip for his injured friends. The four amigos were so blown away by his generous act that they....


----------



## Goblin

had a huge party in his honor. Meanwhile, Dracula had gathered Frankenstein, The Wolfman,The Mummy, and The Creature from the Black Lagoon together to..............


----------



## Lord Homicide

... form a Motley Crue cover band for the party and ...


----------



## Copchick

...started the jam session playing Dr. Feelgood. They played all of the fan favorites and played on into the night until they were so exhausted...


----------



## Goblin

it was about that time that Pumpkin5 got her hair caught in the homemade ice cream maker and everyone was..............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...utterly disgusted at the thought of all that "pumpkin hair" in their vat of freshly made ice cream...so they took the whole hairy batch and threw it into the moat that surrounded the stage when all of a sudden.....


----------



## Goblin

the Wizard of Oz came crashing down on the stage in his hot air balloon that had sprung a leak and...............


----------



## Hairazor

leaped out of the balloon to promptly trip and fall into the hairy moat. He got so tangled in the hair and fish were nibbling at his feet and he went into a huge panic. He was thrashing and yelling for help when---


----------



## Copchick

...the Tinman appeared. He thrust his trusty ax (not ask) to the Wizard. He yelled to him...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:..."Wizard...grab my long handle"....which immediately sent everyone into giggle fits, including the flying monkeys that had flown in when they saw the hot air balloon falling to the ground....then the flying monkeys.......


----------



## Lord Homicide

We're laughing so hard that their IBS kicked in and...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...(dang it I swore I was not going to get LordH out of cleaning up this particular mess....and yet...here I go....)...Glenda flew in and saved the day with a special wave of her magic wand and she neutralized the flying monkey IBS and set everyone's colon at ease for a peaceful and very uneventful 'end' of the day......suddenly, 'the horse of a different color' trotted up and .......


----------



## Goblin

and dropkicked Glenda over the moon. Meanwhile Pumpkin5 was doing the foxtrot with the tinman when the Cowardly Lion asked her to.................


----------



## Copchick

...rumba. The Lion said, "I'm not afraid to dance". The pair were really cuttin' a rug when Scarecrow tapped the Cowardly Lion on the shoulder. He asked...


----------



## Lord Homicide

"Pardon me. Do you have any... Grey Poupon?" The record scratched and silence fell...


----------



## RoxyBlue

...as the entire known universe disappeared into a black hole, taking all the Oz characters, several HauntForum members, and the grey poupon with it. Eons passed and then a small brilliant light appeared as a doorway opened, revealing.....


----------



## MrGrimm

Calvin & his imaginary friend Hobbes laying on the floor playing with their imaginations in their bedroom. Then Calvin heard his Mom yell...


----------



## Hairazor

but he ignored her, grabbed Hobbes and climbed out the window and slid down the drainpipe because he wanted to catch lightening bugs to put in a jar for a night light. Once he hit the ground---


----------



## Goblin

he caught every lightning bug in sight. They generated so much light that............


----------



## MrGrimm

aliens saw them from space and landed their silver UFO in Calvin's back yard. The ship's door opened slowly and...


----------



## Goblin

Mork, Alf, and Klaatu got out, followed by Gort the Robot! They were on their way to Venus when..............


----------



## Copchick

...they were distracted by the great firefly light. They stood in awe as they circled around the jar of fireflies. With a bewildered look on his face, Mork said...


----------



## Lord Homicide

"Na-nu, na-nu... na-nu...nu-na... hu-ha-heiny ho.." There was a 10 sec pause and Mork broke into song, "sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na nu..."


----------



## Copchick

...while he was kickin' up his heels. Alf, Klaatu, and Gort all looked at Mork with a WTF look on their faces. Alf said to the others, "I knew we should have left him on Uranus." At that time they all began to giggle...


----------



## Lord Homicide

... Gort said, " huh huh huh you said Uranus..."


----------



## Goblin

Next thing you knew, Mork, Klaatu, Alf, and Gort were doing the can can across the
lawn. It was then Copchick said...............


----------



## Hairazor

let me video this for youtube. The aliens got so excited they got their legs all tangled and fell into a squirming heap. By this time the neighbors had called the Army and they came and threw a huge net over the wiggling bunch. Then they---


----------



## Lord Homicide

...[Army] drug them over to Goblin's house to hang his "net" friends up a tree in the front yard. The Army had vanished before Goblin could get to the door and...


----------



## Copchick

...he yelled at them, "Wait! What am I supposed to do with a net full of aliens in my tree?" But they Army took off and didn't look back, knowing all too well that Goblin...


----------



## Lord Homicide

was the twin brother of the crazy cat lady who stomped his foot on the ground and pointed toward the group. Gob's cats, without hesitation, flew out...


----------



## Goblin

and released the aliens. Then, Goblin snapped his fingers and the millions of cats
turned into Sabertooth tigers................


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...well...not tigers really...Sabertooth Groundbreakers and being as it was near Halloween, decided to join up with Sawtooth Jack's Sabertooth groundbreakers, because they looked amazingly similar but without the wistful expressions and the extra long fingers of Sawtooth's gang, just as they took their places in the yard, in front of displayed tombstones.......


----------



## Goblin

Pumpkin5 decided to break in her new standup comedian routine. "I know a million jokes!" She said. Three months later she told the last joke, unfortunately...............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...the Sabertooths and lost interest in the tombstones and trying to blend in and were stalking up and down the street finding little trick or treaters and eating them up like tic tacs...Goblin was so appalled at the carnage that he.......


----------



## Copchick

...said, "here kitty, kitty. Want some tuna?" Upon hearing the can opener opening the tuna can, the sabertooths all ran into Goblin's kitchen. It was madness! Giant kitties (sabertooths) all stepping on top of each other trying to be first for their tuna. That was when Goblin...


----------



## Goblin

yelled "SIT" and all the sabertooths sat down and waited for their food. Meanwhile Copchick and Pumpkin5 were holding a contest to see which one the better hula dancer. The judges were............


----------



## Copchick

...laughing so hard and yelling , "Go Pumpkin, go Pumpkin! Go Copchick, Go Copchick!" They both were really pulling out all the stops for the Hula contest. Grass skirts, coconut bras, lei's, and...


----------



## Hairazor

the hips were swinging and swaying in ever greater motion. The spectaters were getting so caught up in it all they began swinging and swaying right along with the 2 contestants. Suddenly sirens pierced the air and everyone ran for cover. Loudspeakers sputtered to life and---


----------



## MrGrimm

suddenly everyone broke into a well choreographed musical number called...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:....Thriller! (The Michael Jackson classic)...and who should be leading the song and the zombie dance but Michael himself....just as undead as the rest of the zombies, and he looked zombieriffic and was really doing the moves, when all of a sudden....:zombie:


----------



## Hairazor

one of his rotten zombie legs fell off. He staggered and began to fall when out of no where MrGrimm, without missing a beat grabbed him and began to move in sync with Michael. The crowd went wild and---


----------



## Goblin

began throwing money. About that time the sun was conming up and Micheal had to return to the netherworld and everyone...............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...got out their little bags of bat shaped confetti and started throwing handfulls of it up in the air, to salute the King of Pop (now the King of the Graveyard) but Michael saw the bat shapes coming at him and lost it and began trying to climb into Mr. Grimm's arms, which totally freaked out Mr. Grimm, because let's face it, Michael is a few days past his expiration date and has a very unpleasant smell that clings to him, well.......


----------



## Goblin

Mr. Grim threw Pumpkin5 into him and run like heck (in case children are reading this) straight into a tree and knocked himself out! Meanwhile................


----------



## Copchick

...Michael and Pumpkin5 said their goodbyes with Michael vowing to return again. Pumpkin5 went to check on the knocked out Mr. Grimm who was just coming to. Pumpkin5 laughed out loud when she saw...


----------



## Hairazor

bat confetti stuck all over his face. When MrGrimm saw what P5 was laughing about he too began to laugh. They laughed so long and so loud a family of hyenas came sniffing around. Pretty soon they were laugh howling too. It was enough to wake the dead. They were all holding their sides (yes, even the hyenas) when---


----------



## Goblin

the dead woke up and really mad at being woke up! They challenged the forum members to a charleston contest with Goblin, Micheal, and Slyvester Stallone as judges............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:Well needless to say Goblin was first in line and had his "Charleston Swing" really moving as Copchick and MrGrimm and Hairazor all got in line and joined in, the four were fabulous...poor Pumpkin5 with her 2 left feet just couldn't get the steps down and kept falling over on her big pumpkin head and rolling off to the side...well after about 30 minutes of vain attempts, Copchick told Pumpkin5 just to quit, that she was bringing the whole group down, suddenly Sly stood up and said....


----------



## MrGrimm

BEHOLD DEATHTOUCH!!!

DeathTouch appeared and spoke:

I am now opening a parallel dimension in which none of this will ever have happened as I am now, after 144 pages, rebooting this thread!!! And suddenly all went dark...

The following words suddenly appeared out of the nothingness:

I walked in on my wife this morning to find out she was sleeping with...


----------



## badgerbadger

her pajamas wrapped around her head and I got the strangest feeling of deja-vu when I...


----------



## Copchick

was suddenly slapped upside my head by Sly Stallone. He said "Yo, what are ya tryin' ta do? You can't just make something disappear off of a foum thread". So Mr. Grimm was dragged back to reality with his wife wrapped up in her PJ's...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:Copchick!!! You are FRIGGIN BRILLIANT!!! (wahahahaha MrG) and then as MrsGrimm ran to her bedroom, MrGrimm was brought out into the Charleston contest wearing nothing but his pj bottoms......


----------



## Hairazor

and a big smile cause he just knew he could boogie anyone under the table. So on with the contest. MrGrimm was showing moves even MrsGrimm hadn't seen when all of a sudden his feet got tangled with---


----------



## Goblin

which got a big laugh from all the zombies and an even bigger laugh when they saw him charleston! Suddenly there appeared a biillion billion solid gold dancers and they.............


----------



## Copchick

...all were time warped into the 80's. Mr. Grimm had a headband around his head to match his silver fake rhinestone shirt that was open to his navel. He was also wearing his parachute pants and slouch boots with the pants tucked in. He had (get this!) a mullet that was the envy of every male SG dancer. The music was cued and they...

(Bet you regret trying to make this thread disappear, huh Mr. G? Lol!)


----------



## MrGrimm

(Hilarious! Did you take a peek in my closet? lol)

all began the Thriller dance, with MrGrimm in the lead. He was kickin' it like MJ back in the day. Leading this glorious, dancing flash mob by putting out the moves like the King of Pop himself.

HE-HEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Then the crowd separated, and strutting through it in her Olivia-Newton John "Physical" outfit was Copchick! That's she....


----------



## Goblin

kicking her legs higher than her head didn't seem to bother her, until she accidently kicked one of the zombies head off it's shoulders like a football, hitting Marsha Brady in the nose! Meanwhile.............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:....(oh this just keeps getting better)...Jan Brady was so upset that Marsha got hit in the nose by the kicked zombie head and was in the corner crying about "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha getting all the attetion..." when Copchick reached her limit of listening to whining and grabbed Jan by the hair and swung her into a couple of moldy and stinky zombies........


----------



## Goblin

who turned out to be Greg and Peter in disquise. Meanwhile a driving instructor zombie told Copchick and Pumpkin5 that their driver's licenses had expired and they had to take the written test......blindfolded!


----------



## Hairazor

Copchick and Pumpkin5 grabbed each others hands, closed their eyes, clicked their heels and said "There's no place like home" 3 times and when they opened their eyes they were in Kansas. Just as they were congratulating themselves for dodging that blindfolded driving test, they saw--


----------



## Copchick

...Graveyardmaster walking towards them wearing a kilt. He asked which way it was to the Highland Festival. He wanted to participate in the battle of the bagpipes and kick up his heels in a Highland dancing competition. It was then that...


----------



## Goblin

Rowdy Roddy Piper showed up and challenged Graveyardmaster to two out of three fall match at the Festival.........


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:But GYM was not to be outdone...because after all folks...he is a friggin Scott....so he flexed his hairy legs, with his kilt a flying...and.......


----------



## TheInhumans

.....she just fell down in the dirt. Just fell down in the dirt, like a giant with a big foot just came along and stepped on her.like you'd step on an ant........


----------



## Pumpkin5

TheInhumans said:


> .....she just fell down in the dirt. Just fell down in the dirt, like a giant with a big foot just came along and stepped on her.like you'd step on an ant........


:jol::jolHey...sidenote TheInhumans...but when you post on a long existing thread...you better know the players.....okay....uhmmm...GYM is Graveyardmaster....a man... Scottish......not a girl in any way, shape or form...I am not trying to embarass you...but please do a bit of research before you jump in with both feet.....please fix this....thanks...GYM is a guy....and what would he do if he got in a Scottish dance contest with an equal Scott??? )


----------



## Goblin

and then Pumpkin5 came along and scooped up Gym who was a little flat but okay!
Meanwhile, everyone was planning the big...................


----------



## Hairazor

bagpipe sound off. Pipes sounds were skirling all around the area. The cats were arching their backs and the dogs were running around in circles. Suddenly the grand master of ceremonies stepped up to the microphone and when he talked an electrifying skreech came out due to proximity of---


----------



## Goblin

of the Moon to Pasendena! Meanwhile, Nazi Zombies were goose stepping into Hollywood with the evil intent of..............


----------



## scareme

smashing all the pumpkins before Halloween, and replacing them with...


----------



## Goblin

explosive plastic pumpkins that looked like Adolf Hitler! There was only one thing to do and that was...............


----------



## Copchick

...to carve new faces in them! There were the scary ones, the funny, ones, JOL's that looked like movie creatures. The newly made over pumpkins/JOL's were so grateful that they no longer looked like Adolf, they...


----------



## Goblin

they attacked the Nazi Zombies and ran them out of Dodge. Meanwhile at Pumpkin5's house..........


----------



## Copchick

...everyone was invited over for margaritas and to help complete her props in time for the big day. The Cauldron Creep was misbehaving by pulling the feathers on the steam punk crows. Pumpkin5 told the Cauldron Creep he was embarrassing her in front of company and to knock it off, but...


----------



## Hairazor

the Cauldron Creep was determined to pluck the crow and cook him. Everyone started throwing their margaritas at the Creep. Pretty soon the Creep was sloshed and tried kissing and making up with the crow. Well you just know the crow---


----------



## Goblin

pulled out a 357 magnum and shot the creep graveyard dead! Everyone stared in disbelief for a momment, then yelled in unison "PROP!" They all made a mad dive for the creep's body.........


----------



## Hairazor

arms and legs were flying, both from the humans grabbing and the creep body parts being grabbed, and fistfights broke out and there was loud yelling (because of course this was a primo creep and highly prized) and the neighbors were afraid and ---


----------



## Goblin

and called the police who sent the Keystone Cops to break up the fight! Unfortunately somebody hit one of the cops and even bigger fight broke out.............


----------



## Copchick

...and the Keystone Cops snapped out of their stupidity (temporarily of course). They used their tasers and pepper spray to subdue the unruly, out of control people clammering for the body parts. After everyone had finally chilled, and all were sitting down they felt really bad about getting out of control. The Keystone Cops didn't know how to process the arrests, so they...


----------



## Hairazor

took all the body parts (creep and miscellaneous human ones) and being Keystone Cops, they tried to fit it all together in a Keyston Cop fashion. The people on the sidelines were shouting helpful hints and encouragement and shrieking with laughter. A news crew came along and began filming---


----------



## Goblin

for the 6 O'clock news. Suddenly the sky grew dark and there was deep rumbling from underground as the..............


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...Earth split wide open and out crawled a gigantic Hemblin Vector Troll :devil: with demons crawling all over his bloated and gassy body and he roared in a terrible and loud voice........


----------



## Hairazor

Mortals! I will have the new creation for my very own! And he made a move for the newbie prop, but the crowd got rowdy again and a ---


----------



## Goblin

call went out for The Avengers but The Three Stooges showed up instead and...........


----------



## the bloody chef

...and said they were holding Mrs. Peele for ransom. They then demanded.....:xbones:


----------



## Goblin

that Pumpkin5, Hairazor, and Copchick deliver the ten dollar ransom to.............


----------



## the bloody chef

....a Dwarf named Manny that hangs out at a bar downtown called....


----------



## Goblin

Wee Willy's Winkie and they were surprised by an army of zombie chickens...........


----------



## the bloody chef

....led by a white feathered zombie chicken colonel who sold fried people to......


----------



## Hairazor

the Chicken Fried People franchise with the motto "Um um pecking fingers good" that is based in


----------



## the bloody chef

...a haunted chicken coop in the forest of transylvania where trolls are used as....


----------



## Goblin

Chicken Wrangers because they work cheap and can............


----------



## the bloody chef

....work at night when the chickens are asleep making it easier to...


----------



## Goblin

capture them and turn them loose in Pumpkin5's house and..........


----------



## Hairazor

sit back to watch the fun! But as you know P5 is very creative so she ---


----------



## the bloody chef

...painted numbers on them and took them to the racetrack where she....


----------



## Goblin

bet on them to win. Unfortunately there was a............


----------



## the bloody chef

...massive pileup in turn 2 and all of the wrecked chickens were airlifted to...


----------



## Hairazor

Mayo Clinic in MN where they were quickly put in incubators so that---


----------



## the bloody chef

...they could be mixed with mayo and made into chicken salad and sold at.....:xbones:


----------



## Hairazor

Bizarres (and yes I spelled that the way I meant) all over the Midwest that catered to---


----------



## the bloody chef

...those clean cut, greedy corporate types that like to take....


----------



## Bone To Pick

...showers with the curtains open while scrubbing their...


----------



## Hairazor

hairy toes clean so they will be ready for---


----------



## Copchick

...the great grape stomping contest. There will be...


----------



## the bloody chef

...a $3.50 charge for wine and toenails will be an additional charge. It's all part of the festival to celebrate....:smoking:


----------



## Goblin

the start of winter and laundry day which was................


----------



## Hairazor

officially named W & L day, not to be confused with Weeping and Lying day which is--


----------



## the bloody chef

...also what I call my birthday that I celebrate by...


----------



## Goblin

being the judge in a chicken plucking contest, then rushed by bicycle to................


----------



## Hairazor

do a bit of curbie shopping on trash pickup day. At the first stop they--


----------



## Lord Homicide

... dressed up in hot dog costumes then sped off to...


----------



## the bloody chef

....Colonel Mustard's house, where they met a large group of...


----------



## Hairazor

game enthusiasts all dressed like their favorite characters. Unfortunately 2 people were dressed the same and---


----------



## the bloody chef

...they started a food fight, which was unfortunate for those dressed as hot dogs because they...


----------



## Hairazor

Kept getting thrown at other characters. The hot dogs got tired of the situation so they ganged together and---


----------



## Goblin

started the infamous hot god uprising that quickly spread across the globe and.............


----------



## Hairazor

Got so heated that the temperature began to rise until ---


----------



## Fiend4Halloween

..the hotdogs split and burst at the seem, creating what seemed to be a .....


----------



## Bone To Pick

...a good time to light the candles on the cake, which was shaped like....


----------



## Hairazor

a huge bottle of mustard. Everyone oohed and aahed and then just---


----------



## the bloody chef

...fell silent as the center of the cake began to quiver and tremble and out of the icing popped....


----------



## Hairazor

the Oscar Meyer Weiner and he had sparklers all over him that


----------



## Goblin

glowed different colors. Everyone began to sins the Oscar Meyer Weiner song while tapdancing.........................


----------



## the bloody chef

on top of a Sabrett's cart with the 'Fruit of the Loom' guys doing the...


----------



## Hairazor

Can-Can because they can! It was all such a hit that people began throwing coins---


----------



## Goblin

and when that didn't work they threw hand gernades! Everyone panicked and.................


----------



## the bloody chef

everyone panicked and ran straight into the cemetery where they...


----------



## scareme

woke up the ghosts, who really hate to get woken up, so they were in a really bad mood. And you don't want to mess with a ghost in a bad mood because they will...


----------



## Goblin

rip your head off and throw it at you! Things got even worse when..............


----------



## the bloody chef

...the ghosts decided to go to WalMart, which was having huge sale on...


----------



## Goblin

Halloween decorations. The ghosts bought out everything and then.............


----------



## Hairazor

slimed it right there in the store. They laughed so hard and dared management to ---


----------



## Goblin

try and stop it, but they were afraid to! Meanwhile, at the combination pizza parlor and iron works factory............


----------



## Hairazor

taste testers teeth were breaking off because they got the ingredients mixed up and---


----------



## the bloody chef

...buildings were collapsing because the thin crust re-bar with sausage couldn't bear the weight of....


----------



## Goblin

of all that cheese! The only thing to do was..............


----------



## Hairazor

Melt all the things together and build a giant---


----------



## the bloody chef

....Little Caesar. Unfortunately, Dr. Venkman was too busy and there was no one to call to stop the....


----------



## Goblin

carnage except the spirits of Vincent Price and Boris Karloff..............


----------



## the bloody chef

...who started an argument with Bela Lugosi over who had the best....


----------



## Goblin

horror movie. Then all three decided to...............


----------



## the bloody chef

...go to the local Cracker Barrel for breakfast and a few...


----------



## Bone To Pick

...crackers that they could give to their sick...


----------



## Goblin

birds that were on the verge of...............


----------



## the bloody chef

being sold to a fried chicken franchise run by...


----------



## Goblin

Pumpkin5, Copchick, Hairazor, and Scareme called The 4 Chic's Chicken............


----------



## Hairazor

which has lip smacking good fried chicken and you can get a side of their famous--


----------



## the bloody chef

....Southern Fried Hairy Scarey Punkin' Cuffs with honey ranch dip and...


----------



## Goblin

Cream of Varnish soup and for dessert.......Pineapple Upside down crab!


----------



## the bloody chef

A menu surely to be devoured by the most discerning...


----------



## Goblin

zombies and monsters! However the prices are..............


----------



## Ramonadona

incredibly outrages because not only do you get the Chic's chicken, cream of varnish soup, and the pineapple upside down crab...but you are also introduced to....


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:....a delicious overflowing Mug of their "on tap" Brewing Brewskie Malted Woohoo Brew..which should cost a fortune due to the once of a kind taste and added benefit of being able to fly once you down a few mugs...but people just love the taste, which Copchick attributes to the....


----------



## Goblin

the fact is aged for five days in a rusty barrel hidden in Pumpkin5's basement until it can be...............


----------



## Lambchop

...served to the devils minions. Poured into silver goblets, the mighty brew spills forth upon....


----------



## Goblin

all the gals and ghouls that had...............


----------



## Lambchop

...been foaming at the mouth for such decent libations. Once they had a taste of this mighty concoction, they began too...


----------



## Hairazor

dance and howl with abandon until


----------



## Lambchop

..they vomited. Wiping the the foam and chunks from their wretched faces and gangly beards, they began...


----------



## Will Reid

...to cry, but soon their tears turned into rainbow sparkles and they flew into the...


----------



## Lambchop

...small opening in the brew pub ceiling. Once through the hole, they found themselves in "Beervana" with that old ugly...


----------



## Will Reid

xx


----------



## Lambchop

...for another pitcher to which she exclaimed...


----------



## Goblin

"Buzz off or I'll beat you with my cane!" and then................


----------



## Lambchop

...she cast a magic spell that removed them from the pub. Finding themselves with no more beer, they decided to...


----------



## Hairazor

ransack the village to find some. At first the hunt was methodical but soon broke down to a mob action when there seemed to be a lack of finding beer. They had just battered down the door of the---


----------



## Lambchop

...abandoned brewery when the town constable came upon them and shouted...


----------



## Goblin

everyone's under arrest for...............


----------



## Lambchop

...public nudity!!! To which the leader exclaimed "nudity?". That is a lie! Can't you see we are only...


----------



## scareme

werewolves and it's a full moon? I had forgotten there was a full moon, cried the constable. That explains why...


----------



## Copchick

...I keep hearing howling in my head! Be gone with you nudist werewolves or I'll...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:..wrap you in ace bandages and christen you Mummies, which will only contribute to the perplexed state we find ourselves in now, or, I could revel in your werewolf nudity and join you myself, which would....


----------



## Hairazor

frankly, be a dream come true. At which point he began stripping off his clothes with wild abandon as the others---


----------



## Copchick

...yelled "Let's go skinny dipping!" They all ran, wearing nothing but a smile. When they got to the water's edge...


----------



## scareme

they remembered it was still January and they were in Minnesota, what were they crazy....


----------



## Goblin

enough to run around in short sleeves and Bermuda shorts and..............


----------



## Lambchop

and jump into the ice cold water? Francis decided to try and convince the group to....


----------



## Lambchop

...swim to the lighthouse. But Gloria could not swim that far and she...


----------



## scareme

started floating on her back. Unfortunately, the coast guard mistook her for an iceberg and tried to sink her by ....


----------



## Hairazor

ramming her repeatedly with their rubber dinghy while playing loud wild


----------



## scareme

Irish folk music. Coincidently, Gloria was Irish, her mother was Spanish, her father was Irish, hence the name Gloria for an Irish lass, and she started doing a jig, which cause her to swim to shore. Safely on shore, she noticed a friendly looking sinister abandoned cottage...


----------



## Hairazor

and thought Man could I use a nap after all that jigging and swimming. So using stealth, she creeped to the cottage to see if it was empty. As she peeked in a window she gasped loudly when she saw---


----------



## scareme

a gathering of Elvis Presley impersonates learning to cook roast road kill from the famous chef ....


----------



## Goblin

Road Kill Charlie who had written dozens of cookbooks about...............


----------



## Hairazor

the harvesting, storing and proper handling of Roadkill. He was demonstrating the proper way to debone the roast when one of the "Elvis Impersonators" jumped up and--


----------



## Lambchop

threw his blue suede shoe at Gloria. What brings you here to this cottage of road kill? Could it be that you...


----------



## scareme

got lost while looking for the road to Grandma's house. And why are you wearing that silly red hood? Are you one of those Hooters girls? Or are you really a.......


----------



## Hairazor

Super Hero who has way too much time for --


----------



## scareme

chasing squirrels and fetching sticks. There's something odd about this girl and it's not just ......


----------



## Lambchop

..her red hood or the way she spits chewing tobacco. I think she really has a thing for...


----------



## Hippofeet

Inappropriate fist-pumping and shouting "Awww Yeah" whenever...


----------



## Hairazor

a monkey dressed in chaps and bolero rides a pig down the--


----------



## scareme

stairs holding sparklers and a flag. Now there's something you don't see everyday, said the blind man to ....


----------



## Hairazor

the deaf man behind him! The monkey heard the exchange and nudged the pig to gallop ---


----------



## Lambchop

down the isle with the brides maids uncle. She sobbed on her fathers shoulder while the room started too.....


----------



## Lambchop

...spin violently causing her to get sick. All the while Mrs. Beasly was getting ready to...


----------



## Hairazor

lasso the pig in preparation for the cutist pig contest. The contest was always looked forward to with great anticipation because the prize was a---


----------



## scareme

a pretty purple trophy with green and orange ribbons flowing everywhere while butterflies emerged from it singing ......


----------



## Lambchop

..."We are the champions" by Queen. However the pig lost the competition, leaving Mrs. beasly to try and figure out another way.....


----------



## Goblin

to take over the world using the ancient book of the dead to................


----------



## Lambchop

...conjur rabid demon dogs that would assist her...


----------



## scareme

to find the door to the gates of hell. Surprisingly, it was the last place anyone would have looked. It was right...


----------



## Hairazor

behind Door #3 on the stage at Let's Make a Deal. Mrs. Beasly was thwarted in her quest when it was found that a disgruntled employee had glued the door shut. She yelled, "Quick, get me a ---


----------



## scareme

blow torch and a turkey club. It was after 1:00 and Mrs. Beasly hadn't eaten since second breakfast. Drew Carey huffed, What do I look like, a waitress? No, Beasley screamed, You look like a


----------



## Lambchop

used car salesman. "So where is the food court?" Mrs. Beasly asked. I am so hungry I could...


----------



## Pumpkin5

:jol:...eat an aardvark...deep fried with curley fries. And I don't even mind the extra nose meat...after all...aardvark nose meat tastes as good as.....


----------



## Lambchop

...the lint and fuzz between a used car salesmans sweaty toes on a hot summer day. After all, when your really hungry, you think differently. It's kinda like when you...


----------



## Pumpkin5

...you think a lambchop is succulent and juicy, rather than raw. And unappetizing......it's a state of mind...just a state of mind...


----------



## Goblin

but Pumpkin5 isn't allowed in those states so it presented a problem...............


----------



## Lambchop

with her stomach. She began barfing and gagging on the partially chewed pieces of chop and gristle that wandered around her swollen gums and gaps within her teeth. Emitting buckets of pork and bile, her eyeballs began to...


----------



## Goblin

tear and she had no choice but to.................


----------



## Hairazor

hang upsidedown till she got it all drained out. She was so exhausted after all the effort that she fell asleep like that until


----------



## Goblin

people came by in a tour bus and began taking pictures of her.................


----------



## Lambchop

regurgitated dinner on the floor. Not wanting them to post the pictures on social media, she began screaming at them to...


----------



## Goblin

that she was gonna have a Halloween Hootenany that will be.............


----------



## Hairazor

featured on the cover of Rolling Stone and if they knew what was good for them, they would


----------



## Lambchop

help clean up this mess before the...


----------



## Goblin

Mogwabs showed up at Pumpkin5's and proceeded to..................


----------



## drevilstein

pick warts off a green glowing toad


----------



## Lambchop

that sat on her lap. She exclaimed!!! "picking those warts will give you...


----------



## Goblin

a bad case of gas! Now you will have to sing Moon River while spinning around three times while..............


----------



## Hairazor

everyone shoots spitballs at you. Three points for any that stick. The points are good for


----------



## Goblin

a free dinner at Burger Doodle where the burgers are...............


----------



## Lambchop

thick and raw. Just like old man Finley likes them. When you get there, be sure and ask for....


----------



## Goblin

the Supreme Burger that only costs you...............


----------



## Hairazor

a silver dollar and a sand crab that is


----------



## Goblin

still alive and snapping! Meanwhile there was a rumble down at the.................


----------



## Lambchop

A&W in Milwaukee neer Arnolds. The Fonz was getting beat down pretty bad when his cousin showed up with a...


----------



## Hairazor

snake wound around his body hissing at anyone who got close. People began screaming and backing up till they


----------



## Goblin

got to the doorway and then they mounted a counter attack, led by none other than...........


----------



## Hairazor

Goblin armed with a razor sharp wit and a


----------



## Goblin

a horde of killer turtles that had been bred to attack when they heard the word..........


----------



## Hairazor

BAZINGA! The melee got so out of hand, with the hissing and snapping and fists flying, that Copchick


----------



## Goblin

decided there was only one thing to do, and that was.............


----------



## Hairazor

hose everyone down with kool aid. This resulted in a wet sticky mess that attracted---


----------



## Goblin

bugs from miles around! It was then that a thunderstorm came up and...........


----------



## Hairazor

started flashing violent lightening. Everyone frantically started looking for shelter. The only place---


----------



## Goblin

they could find was a large cardboard box Roxy had thrown away and was..........


----------



## Lambchop

only large enough for one person. So the fight was on again until the local priest showed up and started to...


----------



## Goblin

sing "Yes we have no bananas" and did a little dance in order to...................


----------



## highbury

trick everyone so that he could take the box for himself, but unfortunately he didn't see...


----------



## Goblin

Scareme and Hairazor sneaking up behind him with rubber mallets..............


----------



## Lambchop

and bags full of banana peels which they threw around the lot in an attempt to...


----------



## Goblin

trip up the evil moogwumps that were stalking anyone after dark and would................


----------



## Hairazor

lick their ears off if they caught them. If you catch sight of a moogwump your best action is---


----------



## Lambchop

to dance a leprechaun jig. If you do this. the moogwump will turn into...


----------



## Goblin

a man-eating Pretragog and will devour you instantly. The only thing that can save you is...........................


----------



## Hairazor

peanut butter breath. Be sure to breath directly at the Pretragog when it approaches you and


----------



## Lambchop

then deposit a penny in his ear. Then, and only then, can you...


----------



## Goblin

escape the Pretagog. but not the OoglePoofs that are harder to defeat cause they.......


----------



## Lambchop

pass a poisonous gas from their rear quarters. Once you escape you should try and get to the...


----------



## Goblin

Dark Marsh where you only have to worry about the KiddlePips and DoofleDorts.........


----------



## Hairazor

who will trip you and tickle you till you scream for mercy unless you can


----------



## Goblin

dress up as the legendary elephant fairy that has been known to..............


----------



## Lambchop

to skinny dip in bogs and marshes.I saw one of these once when I....


----------



## Goblin

was dancing naked in the moonlight with the FizzleWhacks, celebrating the yearly sock mending festival...............


----------



## Lambchop

at Stonehenge. We laughed and giggled until our eyes...


----------



## Dr Morbius

fell out our butts. Funny, we never saw our butts from...


----------



## Goblin

that angle before. Meanwhile, a huge crowd had gathered to...............


----------



## kauldron

help us look for the contact lens we lost while we were playing shuffleboard and hopscotch. After that we went to the bonfire to roast............


----------



## Goblin

marshmallows and hot dogs before it was time to.................


----------



## Lambchop

inject some carnival music into the mix. I gestured at Linda to come over and sit with me. However, she smurked when she saw my hot dog had.....


----------



## Hairazor

a tail. She instantly wanted to know where I got it. I told her it was special from


----------



## Goblin

the evil wizard that lived in my garage and was...............


----------



## kauldron

special because if you bit off the tail another would grow back unless you put.............


----------



## Goblin

instant grow on it to make sure that it was...................


----------



## Lambchop

going to re-grow. Excited, she began to pull on the tail of my hot dog. She pulled it so hard that it...


----------



## Hairazor

split in two. Both pieces started wriggling and trying to wrap


----------



## Lambchop

around her arm. She began to scream as the hod dog tail started to penetrate her skin, leaving a...


----------



## Goblin

a terrible wound that refused to heal. Meanwhile there was a huge crowd...........


----------



## kauldron

in line to buy their own hot dogs. Some people decided to buy the hamburgers instead. The ones with.........


----------



## Hairazor

the glowing edges. People looked at the glow and became mesmerized. As one, the trance-like crowd began to


----------



## Lambchop

order these odd meat patties.One by one they ordered the burgers but none wanted the cheese. It seemed as if the cheese was...


----------



## kauldron

just regular cheese, but the pickles were swimming in the large container and were hard to catch. Many people wanted pickles but had to wait because........


----------



## Lambchop

there were no pickle nets. Net fishing for pickles can be tricky. Especially when...


----------



## Goblin

you have the wrong bait for catching pickles. You need a..............


----------



## Lambchop

skunk lure with a brass spinner. Elvira realized this and became overwhelmed. She threw her cheeseburger at....


----------



## kauldron

the people with the hot dogs. The she stormed off to find.......


----------



## Goblin

that she had been lured into the secret torture chamber of.............


----------



## kauldron

the evil Pizza the Hut. The dark room smelled horribly of anchovies and there was......


----------



## Lambchop

a torture master awaiting who wore a moldy mask made of uncooked pizza dough and old ham slices. Entering from a secret door, Pizza the Hut emerged and began to...


----------



## Goblin

tap dance while juggling oranges to the music of............


----------



## kauldron

the Wiggles. As Pizza the Hut juggled, a mysterious character entered the chamber through a hidden passage behind the.........


----------



## Goblin

the Hoozleberry bush. it was the imfamous Mr. Shroud who was the most evil person in the world.............


----------



## Lambchop

but he had a soft heart for the Wiggles, amongst other childrens music. Hearing his favorite Wiggles tune "Fruit salad", he began to dance around and...


----------



## Goblin

killed every whazzit in the room with his whirling razor sword of death.................


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## Lambchop

before it broke in two. Looking down and his broken sword he began to cry tears so large that...


----------



## Goblin

Hairazor used them to fill a swimming pool! Meanwhile, the Dweezles and Favorflams were................


----------



## kauldron

busy playing hopscotch out in the yard while a crowd of spectators began to shout.....


----------



## Hairazor

"Where's the Hops and Scotch you promised?" This made the Dweezles and Favorflams nervous so they


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## Goblin

disquised themselves as Freezlewhacks and Diffledorks and went to Hairazor's house............


----------



## kauldron

to try and find the many bottles of spirits known to be stashed behind......


----------



## Goblin

the secret staircase. Meanwhile Roxy had challenged the Miffdinks and the crappadoodles
to.............


----------



## kauldron

a drinking game that involved lighting shots of moonshine on fire and sliding them towards....


----------



## Goblin

Miffdinks and the crappadoodles, who. unfortunately immune to it's effects and were able.............


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## kauldron

to make off with all of the money. Unfortunately Old Man Withers happened to be driving by and saw all of the commotion.......


----------



## Lambchop

which caused him to careen into the graveyard. Emerging from his wrecked hearse, he went to the back to check on the...


----------



## Ramonadona

caretaker who was un-conscience from being run over by the hearse. As soon as the caretaker recovered he...


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## kauldron

poured shots for himself and Old Man Withers while they tried to put the wheel back on....


----------



## Hairazor

but they kept trying to put it on backward which got them very


----------



## Goblin

dizzy and confused making them easy prey the Googalinks..........


----------



## Lambchop

deadly pranks. Once they got the spare tire on, they invited the Googalinks to come to the funeral home for some entertainment and libations with a live performance by....


----------



## Goblin

Hairazor and the Fezzywiggs, a new band that had one hit song they sang over and over again...........


----------



## kauldron

about what some kind of animal might say. As the show went on, strange apparitions began to appear.......


----------



## Lambchop

in the fog seeping out of Hairazors head. She looked at the startled crowd and grinned an evil grin, bearing her sharp and blood stained...


----------



## Goblin

fangs and pointed ears and a huge pair of wings that spread wide as..................


----------



## kauldron

she began to circle the room looking for more of the.......


----------



## Goblin

tap dancing winkledinks that had been hidden in he closet but managed to escape and...............


----------



## Hairazor

draw anagrams on the walls with disappearing ink that left


----------



## Jackyl48

the stench of...


----------



## Goblin

dead rats and chocolate. Meanwhile Roxy had decided to visit the..............


----------



## Lambchop

North Pole to try and convince Santa that she had been good all year. Even though she knew in her heart that...


----------



## Goblin

she had been good, there was that one little incident involving..............


----------



## Hairazor

the kangaroo and the egg beater but she tried


----------



## Goblin

to explain everything but it got more and more confusing, especially the part about doing the Kangaroo Hop and..................


----------



## Lambchop

throwing eggs at the animals at the zoo. It all happened on a field trip with her students and that crotchety old man Mr.......


----------



## kauldron

Withers, who came along for the chance to sit next to.......


----------



## Lambchop

a large cardboard cut out of Princess Lea. He had always wanted to have his picture taken with her and this was his chance to at least fake it. but Mr. Whithers didn't realize that while he was preparing to have his picture taken....


----------



## Jackyl48

Shaggy and Scooby had crept in through the rear emergency exit and sat behind him with...


----------



## Hairazor

an air horn and a big bowl of spaghetti/sauce just


----------



## kauldron

like Mom used to make when Shaggy was a kid. While they were eating.....


----------



## MrGrimm

someone burped so hard it shook the table, so they all assumed it was...


----------



## Lambchop

Mr. Whithers. He was a gassy old man who passed air from both...


----------



## Hairazor

ears with loud popping noises causing


----------



## Lambchop

his eyeballs to swell to the size of gold balls. In fact, one fell to the floor and...


----------



## Hairazor

a fast and furious game of "kick the eyeball" broke out with lots of pushing and shoving until


----------



## kauldron

someone slipped and landed on the eyeball seat first. Everyone laughed and.........


----------



## Hairazor

started piling on. There were body parts flailing every which way and raucous laughter till


----------



## Lambchop

his eyeball burst into a cloud of glitter and confetti. A bit shocked, everyone jumped up and began to...


----------



## kauldron

do the Macarena. As the people danced, a shadowy character slipped into the back room and began looking for the secret.........


----------



## Lambchop

grass skirt of the Hula monster. If he found it, he could unleash...


----------



## JesterLex

His inner hummus beast. So he put the grass skirt on over his robes , said the incantation and slowly began to...


----------



## Lambchop

pull out small pieces of flat bread. His inner hummus beast began to show itself. Pouring out of his gut and onto...


----------



## Lambchop

the floor. A gathering pack of wild dogs began to....


----------



## Halloween Jokes

bark..When a group of black cat ninjas jumped at.....................


----------



## Hairazor

the sound, all fury let loose and chaos


----------



## Halloween Jokes

flowed through the air. As the forces of darkness fought


----------



## Lambchop

over cupcakes, I used the phone to call my mother. When she answered, I told her about.....


----------



## Monk

...the strange rash I developed. She quickly told me...


----------



## Hairazor

bathe the rash in squid ink for 30 minutes then


----------



## Halloween Jokes

to my surprise my legs shrank to 1 foot long so I walked to


----------



## deadSusan

the park and began to feed the


----------



## scareme

the pink flamingos, until I figured out they weren't real, but lawn ornaments. I don't usually swear, but today I said


----------



## Hairazor

@#*&© really really loud which made a crazy looking


----------



## scareme

game warden aim his rifle at me. Lucky for me a


----------



## Hairazor

real flamingo flew between me and the warden making his aim


----------



## Halloween Jokes

boom the shot missed us both and hit the


----------



## Bone To Pick

dancefloor, grooving to the pulsating beat of the electric


----------



## Hairazor

guitar being played by


----------



## Dreadmakr

a trained chimpanzee wearing


----------



## Bone To Pick

thin on everyone's nerves because the melody


----------



## Dreadmakr

lacked any pleasing character. However it did


----------



## Hairazor

cause people to stop and stare. When everyone's attention


----------



## Dreadmakr

was focused on the chimp, someone shouted that


----------



## Hairazor

their hair was on fire. While everyone looked


----------



## Dreadmakr

someone grabbed a fire extinguisher. But while trying to put out the fire


----------



## Goblin

the Rockettes showed up with some hungry owls


----------



## Hairazor

squawking to be fed. Where can you find


----------



## Goblin

find a whole bunch of used cantaloupes that were


----------



## Hairazor

shipped in from the South? Are they


----------



## Goblin

quick fried or baked in a


----------



## Hairazor

adobe oven? Will there be


----------



## Goblin

any new people in the park?


----------

