# Celebrity Zombie Smackdown Unlimited



## Rahnefan (May 1, 2009)

Decide who would win in a battle of two dead famous people, then choose who to raise as the next zombie to challenge the victor. The next player does the same (decides who wins, raises a challenger)...

To start, Johnny Cash rises up to fight Pablo Picasso. Picasso feebly stabs at Cash with a paintbrush, to no effect. Cash gives him an old-school country beating and smashes a guitar over his head, then feasts proudly on the exposed brains, waiting for the next challenger.

Up from the ground creeps Andre the Giant, charging at Johnny...


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## Rahnefan (May 1, 2009)

OK maybe not.  Sorry if this was offensive or anything.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

One quick choke slam and it's all over for Johnny. The man in black' brains are a
tasty treat for Andre!

Then the ground opens up and Bela Lugosi stands before Andre.........


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Andre may be bigger but falls for Lugosi's "Look me in the eyes" and it is all over but the lip smacking! 

No sooner has Lugosi said "Good to the last drop" when John Wayne rides in ---


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

You see, no one knew that John Wayne had a fetish for garlic. He consumes it to the point that it just leeches out of his pores. As JW approaches Lugosi, Lugosi kealed over from the stench of garlic. He didn't even get one bite in! End of Lugosi.

John Wayne sits proudly on his horse Dollar, when he sees the silhouette of Geromino over the horizon...


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## Rahnefan (May 1, 2009)

A century of undead rage fills Geronimo as he gallops toward the Duke. "Actually I'm an actor y'know, this is just the hat they gave me" says Wayne, just before hat and head go rolling off.

Geronimo dismounts just as Cleopatra rises from the ground, a zombie viper in each hand.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Unfortunately, Cleopatra is no match for Geronimo who not only eats her brain but the
snake's brains as well.

Then his archrival Cochise rises from his grave, tomahawk in hand.......................


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Well it was quite a battle. Geronimo and Cochise seemed equally matched and the battle raged on but all the exertion made the snake brains cramp Geronimo up and Cochise moved in for the kill!!

Cochise barely had time for a victory cry when Don Knotts stumbled upon the scene--


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

One quick crack on the head with his tomahawk and Cochise was feastig on Don Knotts brains!

Suddenly Cochise turned and came face to face with.......Rod Serling!


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## Rahnefan (May 1, 2009)

It must be Serling's lucky night, because Cochise is now too burdened by a belly full of brains to do much. Rod creeps up quietly from behind with a pointy candelabra, and with one well-aimed tap to the noggin, Cochise goes down.

Just as Serling begins a narrative about the brains he is about to eat, gravestones nearby begin to shake and crumble. Bugs swarm away and swirls of cool mist hover low, opening to reveal the reanimated corpse of Burgess Meredith.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Burgess is no match for Rod Serling who uses the power of the Twilight Zone to disentegrate him except for his brain, which he covers with ketchup and chomps away!

About the time he has finished his meal when he feels a tap on his shoulder and he
turns to face.........Hoss Cartwright!


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## Copchick (Apr 10, 2012)

Hoss was PO'd that Rod didn't save any brains for him. He poked him in the eye and threw him over his back and knowing that Rod couldn't swim, rode on his horse all the way to Lake Pontchartrain where he threw him, drowning him. 

Just then Hoss saw on the other side of the bank, stood the Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau...


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Unfortunately, Marie slipped in the mud and fell into the lake and drowned!

It was about then Hoss was attacked by The Three Stooges..............


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

The Three Stoges went into their act and Hoss couldn't keep an eye on all of them at once, one knelt behind him while one poked him in the eyes causing him to stagger back and fall over the kneeling one while the third one rolled him into a hole they all three quickly covered over (whew, long sentence)

The Three barely had time to fist bump and say Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk when the Roadrunner zipped up and said Meep meep which we all know is a challenge!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Unfortunately, Wiley Coyote shows up and chases the roadrunner off. The Stooges win by default!

And then...............Fred MacMurray showed up!


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## scareme (Aug 29, 2006)

But Fred becomes confused seeing the three Stooges, thinking they were his three sons, and while asking them if they had finished their homework, they belly slam him from behind and his brain is history, or lunch, if you will.

Will no one stop the Stooges reign of terror? Wait, what's that I hear? Why it's Kelly, Jill and Sabrina, Charlies Angels, come to kick some butt.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The Stooges use the eye poke on the Angels, blinding them and then rendered them unconscious with a series raps on the head! Angel brains anyone?

Then out of nowhere came The Marx Brothers......................


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Groucho's cigar smoke had the Stooges in coughing fits and the Marx Brothers took advantage to beat them senseless with rubber chickens and drown them in Duck Soup!

Groucho had just lit a celebratory cigar when Betty Boop sashayed in---


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## scareme (Aug 29, 2006)

Chico makes the first move, sauntering over to make the lovely Ms Boops acquittance. But Harpo drops a harp on him, and Chico is out of the running. As Harpo tries to make time with Betty, his time and his legs are cut short by a chainsaw wielding Groucho. As Groucho walks up to the ever lovely, even as a Zombie, Betty Boop, she grabs his cigar and rams it through his forehead. As she is feasting on brains, a shadow crosses over her.

It's Dorthy, back from Oz, and she hasn't eaten in three days. That's right boys, it's a chick fight!


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

After they scratch each other's eyes out they wander about blindly till Betty falls off
the cliff and Dorothy wins by default!

Then.........Gene Kelly attacks!


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## scareme (Aug 29, 2006)

There's no contest. With Dorthy being blind, Gene does the old soft shoe on her spine, finishing up with a round kick to the head. Before there is even time to let his tap shoes cool down, he is confronted by...

OJ Simpson, excaped from prison, and looking for some fresh brains.


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Gene dazlles OJ with his fancy dance moves and kicks him unconscious! OJ becomes
a midnight snack!

Then the battle of the dance kings.........Gene Kelly vs. Fred Astaire!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Gene and Fred shuffle the old soft shoe around each other till Fred tells Gene his shoe is untied. As Gene looks down Fred uses his dance cane to split Gene's head. Just as Fred is doing a victory dance around Gene, and savoring the thought of brain salad, the Easter Bunny hops up---


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

The Easter Bunny is no match for the fancy footwork of Gene and shortly thereafter
there' rabbit stew for everyone. And then..........The Great Pumpkin attacks!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Gene is so hungry and delirious after all the kick dancing and rabbit cooking that he thinks the great pumpkin is a giant pie. He hungrily jumps at the pumpkin who just opens his mouth and gobbles Gene up. The Great Pumpkin barely has time to belch when Zorro rides up sword drawn---


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Zorro quickly slices and dices the Great Pumpkin and is about to celebrate his victory
when out of no where and no how comes SUPERMAN!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Zorro's fancy sword play is no match for the man of steel who just keeps dodging and laughing, but-- Zorro keeps going round and round Superman till Superman has spun himself deep into the ground where Zorro knew there was a stash of Kryptonite, good bye Superman. While Z is trying to figure out how to retrieve the brains, Boss Hogg ambles up


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Zorro carves Boss Hogg up like a Thanksgiving turkey! Suddenly there is a flash of smoke and fire and Houdini appears


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## Rahnefan (May 1, 2009)

Houdini smiles the crooked grin of one who knows he just made the slickest grave-escape known to zombiekind. Zorro spins around gracefully, thinking Houdini will make an easy victim #4, but to his dismay, Houdini was of course only a decoy. His sword getss stuck in the wooden prop, and the real Houdini creeps up from behind and busts open Zorro's head with an oversized padlock, and Zorro dramatically falls to the ground dead. Er, re-dead. Not to be outdone regarding style, the great Harry Houdini carves an H into Zorro's shirt. Lastly, he removes the mask and ties it around his arm.

But during all this bravado, who should appear from behind a monument but...LON CHANEY!!!


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Lon Chaney uses the sneaky approach. He fills Houdini with flattery and gets him to handcuff himself to show his escape trick. As soon as the cuffs are on Lon lops off Houdini's head and begins a feast! He only gets one bite of brains when Betty Boop comes sashaying up--


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

and is immediately eaten byt Lon Chaney who has turned into the Wolfman! Suddenly.......Abbott & Costello show up


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Abbott and Costello have a slick schtick and they each dance on a side of Lon while keeping up their patter. Lon gets exhausted from swiveling his head back and forth and the duo lunges in for the kill. Just as they are busy patting themselves on the back who appears but a Zombiefied Elvis---


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

Abbot & Costello are no match the King's lightning fast karate moves and they go down
in defeat. Then out of nowhere comes...............Barbara Stanwyck


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## deadSusan (Jun 26, 2013)

Barbara uses her feminine wiles to cozy up to Elvis and proceeds to poke his eyes with her fingers. She then pulls his cape over his head and kicks him into a ditch. Much to her dismay Arnold Palmer shows up driving his golf cart....


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

But along comes Godzilla and steps on Arnold! But then........out of
nowhere........OMIGOD!

Mickey Rooney!


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## scareme (Aug 29, 2006)

Mickey, feeling all tough and undefeated, struts down the street towards the Brown Derby. As he turns the corner the blood drains from his face and he freezes, petrified. Standing before him are all seven of his ex-wives, Ava Gardner ,Betty Jane Baker, Martha Vickers, Elaine DeVry, Barbara Ann Thomason, Marge Lane, and Carolyn Hockett. And leading them was his currant wife, Jan Chamberlin. All turned into zombies. They cover Mickey and tear him apart, piece by piece, looking for their back alimony money. They look up at the sound of horses clattering down from Hollywood and Vine. Oh poop, it's the Magnificent Seven, and not only are they zombies, so are their horses.


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## Hairazor (Mar 13, 2012)

Well, no matter how strong the Magnificent Seven are, they are no match for angry wives. The ex-wives made a line and started twerking. The Seven, and their horses, were so unnerved they didn't notice the current wife shoot a flame thrower at them. Next thing you know the women are eating fried brains. While licking their fingers they noticed an eerie stillness and the Wizard of Oz was landing in front of them


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## Goblin (Jun 3, 2009)

As we know, the wizard was no wizard at all and they make short work of him! And
then.....Omigod! Up in the sky! It's a birds! It's a plane! It's..........SUPERMAN!


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