# Non-******* needs advice!



## RL4ever (Feb 17, 2009)

Ok, here’s the deal. I am not a *******. But here I am, in a classic ******* trailer court (not a trashy one, but not exactly upscale either), with a nice big yard right across from the office. I want to really haunt that yard up right. But not being a *******, I don’t know quite how to do a proper “trailer trash” haunt. My neighbors, many of whom ARE ******** and proud of it, would love me for it. SO, folks, what should I do? How do I put together a ******* Trailer Trash yard haunt on a budget that would make my neighbors smile and go “yeehaw” and their abundant kids go “wow, cool”?


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## Tiny (Feb 2, 2011)

Doing a Good haunt has nothing to do with being or not being a ******* (although I am one lol) with out telling you step by step I would say just go on to google images and type in ******* there will be hundreds if not thousands of pictures that will give you some great ideas on what you can do ... also, Also take a drive and look at your ******* neighbours, and talk to them see what they say !



RL4ever said:


> Ok, here's the deal. I am not a *******. But here I am, in a classic ******* trailer court (not a trashy one, but not exactly upscale either), with a nice big yard right across from the office. I want to really haunt that yard up right. But not being a *******, I don't know quite how to do a proper "trailer trash" haunt. My neighbors, many of whom ARE ******** and proud of it, would love me for it. SO, folks, what should I do? How do I put together a ******* Trailer Trash yard haunt on a budget that would make my neighbors smile and go "yeehaw" and their abundant kids go "wow, cool"?


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## scareme (Aug 29, 2006)

I'm not sure of ******** in trailer parks, but when I think of ******** I think of shotguns, overalls, and skinny hound dogs. Maybe the dogs could be chewing on arms or legs from Dollar Tree. The clothes you might be able to pick up from a thrift store. You might start looking now. If you wait till Oct. there will be a lot less selection with more people looking at that time for costumes. If you knew someone you could borrow some bales of straw from, and then give it back after Halloween. Otherwise they go for $6-$10, and then you have to get rid of them after Halloween anyway. A clothes line with bloody, ragged clothes hanging off them would be a pretty cheap prop. Thrift store again. I'll let you know if I come up with any other ideas.
By the way, welcome to the forum. Why don't you introduce yourself on the welcome thread?


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## SPOOKY J (Nov 20, 2009)

I would play up to stereotypical ******* hobbies. Hunting, Fishing, Nascar. Like Scareme said hit the thrift stores Now! Stock up on Nascar/Hunting Clothes. Create a yard of ******* zombies. To stay cheap use pvc pipe to make life size frames to dress up. Wig heads are pretty cheap and some times members here do a group buy on them. You could paper mache on the wig head to create a zombie face. Theme each zombie with a different type of accident. Fishing zombie with giant hook in its head. Four Wheeling zombie sort of flat in the chest with mud tire treads painted on. Just some thoughts. Oh and Welcome to the Forum.


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## tonguesandwich (Oct 13, 2006)

Put mullets on your buckles... Think Cletus Spuckler on the Simpsons.


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## fontgeek (Jul 24, 2006)

Think in terms of a caricature, all of the bits need to be exaggerations on the "typical" traits or trends of the trailer life with a spooky twist. No racism, or religious bias, just the funny spooky things that make people step back and say "wow", even changing the music and sound effects you might use can help you portray the desired feel.


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## Rahnefan (May 1, 2009)

What exactly are you looking for, a theme or a taste/style?

The haunt I've been gearing up for is supposed to be somewhat southern gothic but that's as much as I can say for now. Don't know what you are asking really.

Sounds like you ought to ask the neighbors. Just FYI, the term ******* has only become a self-applied badge of cred relatively recently, among younger generations. As with any culture there has always been a tendency to laugh at it from the inside (Hee Haw, etc) but the flavor of that particular term is much closer to the likes of "Guido" than, say, "Masshole," so be cautioned. When I grew up it was an insult to be hurled at trash-talking troublemakers who made other southerners look bad...and we used it only when ready to physically fight said offender. The only other use of it back then was from outsiders and in that case, the insult was more greivous. Again, just FYI since it sounds like you are surrounded by "them." Might not want to emphasize the issue, or _perceived_ issues. My two cents.


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## Rahnefan (May 1, 2009)

Having said that though, you could watch a lot of Squidbillies and Aqua Teen Hunger Force to get ideas for what I think you might be looking for. Maybe I'm wrong.


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## Dr. Scarecrow (Mar 14, 2011)

For the record- we prefer to be called Appalachian Americans, thank you very much!


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## Johnmonster (Sep 4, 2009)

Rob Zombie movies tend to have a "*******" motif, especially HOUSE OF A THOUSAND CORPSES. 

Get some twine and a ton of junk like doll parts, old dishes and pots, whatever suits you. Hang them up all over, on the porch, from trees. Crazy ******* wind chimes. 

How about a bloody corpse hanging from a tire swing?

If you have the budget and enthusiasm, you could make a reverse deer blind with a bloody hunter on the ground amongst a bunch of empty beer cans (bait). In the blind, a couple of fake deer with (obviously fake) rifles.

A barbecue grill with "human" parts seared and ready for sauce.

I'm a proud Texan, and when I walk out my front door, there's a chance of seeing any one of these things. Maybe not the deer blind.


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## Richman2000 (Mar 3, 2011)

Instead of having a creature pop out of a casket, have it come out of a sofa sleeper on the front lawn.


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## austenandrews (Aug 22, 2010)

I'm thinking cannibal cookout!

Dig a big pit in a dirt alley road. Fill it with madrone and bay. Stinks like hell and the neighbors complain - don't give a hoot what they say. You gotta slap that hog, roll him over twice, and baste him with a sweeping broom. You gotta swat them flies and chain up the dogs. 




Set up mutants in gimme caps and plenty of ******* engineering. (Links mild but not entirely SFW.)


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## Moxlonibus (Mar 25, 2011)

I'm thinking like Johnmonster. If you can find an ol' stove for free or close to it, set it out with a large pot on the burner. Make it look as though someone made casserole, and didn't wash the pot. Even left the skull, hand full of pasta-put in some chicken leg bones for good measure... Also, go to any Hardware store and find styrofoam insulation 4'x8'x1" for around $20. Carve out mummified kitties, lots of'em. Then cover them with a coating of dry wall mud so you can paint them and finish off with a few sprigs of fake fur. Get some aluminum flashing and cut out your ears, prime and paint or cover'em with fur also. Cause we all know how much ******** love their dogs. Added touch, get some electric cord from a lamp or somethin' cover it in masking tape for intrails. Happy Holler-ween!


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

Sommerteeth, cropped clothing, a few freak show conjoined twins of two different races woudl be a nice touch. Lawn chair made from beer cans...
Give out smarties taped to a faked food stamp or Mediciad card...I'm sure you will **** people off in DROVES.


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## Rahnefan (May 1, 2009)

10 points to austenandrews for good taste in music


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

"You gotta slap that hog, roll him over twice, and baste him with a sweeping broom. "

Sounds like a date I had once...


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## Bascombe (May 18, 2010)

If you have netflix, there are plenty of hillbillysploitation movies in their instant viewing. Especially in the horror category. One comes to mind, ******* Zombies. Try that for inspiration.


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## debbie5 (Mar 2, 2007)

Rahnefan said:


> 10 points to austenandrews for good taste in music


Now I have this song as an earworm...thanks.

Them: "Mommy, what's for dinner?"

Me: "I'm cookin' up a Filipino box spring hog, honey...."


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## Bascombe (May 18, 2010)

How about Leatherface?


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## Moxlonibus (Mar 25, 2011)

Here's a link for a "3D' TV.

http://www.members.cox.net/frightwerks/3dtv.html

Throw that in yer front yard!


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## Sawtooth Jack (Apr 9, 2011)

Gotta love the Tom Waits hog-roast idea!

How about Zombie Dukes of Hazzard._ "Looks like them Duke boys got themselves into a heap o trouble this time..."_


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## Sawtooth Jack (Apr 9, 2011)

Or a haunted still! That old corn whiskey sure does some strange things to folks come a moonlit night.


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## Ryan Wern (Dec 3, 2009)

Since I am a displaced "Appalachian American", I know a little about this stuff. I say go with some inbred "The Hills Have Eyes" looking props. It would probably seem like a family reunion to most of your neighbors!


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## Ryan Wern (Dec 3, 2009)

Don't forget to build a 'still too. Gotta have the 'still.


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## Haunted Bayou (Feb 16, 2007)

Maybe RL4ever will remember to comeback and see us sometime.


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## Revenant (Mar 17, 2007)

Set up the still and make a bunch of empty stained 5-gallon "toxic waste" containers lying around it, like they're usin' it to make Green Lightnin'. That's the basis for Troma's _******* Zombies_.

Someone on here... damn, I can't remember who... made an uber-horrible inbred ******* Hills-Have-Eyes type mutant family. A diseased 500-lb father, a girl with a conjoined twin face growing out of her head, a hideous rat-dog-thing... man I gotta try to find those posts. It was years ago. They were awesome.


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## Rahnefan (May 1, 2009)

I remember those, they were incredible. Will you post the link here if you find it please, Revenant?


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## tattooedstranger (Apr 19, 2011)

Graves, skeletons, fog think serial killers that will keep the hoards happy.


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## hauntedkimmy (May 31, 2011)

I live in the country....******* country. The biggest things that come to mind are piles of rusty stuff everywhere...old trucks, tires, and the like. Think junkyard. A still for moonshine also comes to mind. There's also lots of free ranging chickens on most farms, rusty broken down fencing, outhouses and water pumps too. Also, you could do a swamp with a rickety old bridge, old split rail fences strewn with hung up dead skinned animals like squirrels and rabbits. Taxidermy is a big thing too. Hope that gets your mind turning.


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## Stinky Pete (May 2, 2011)

I don't think this is the same mutant family that Rahnefan mentioned, but Noah's family would be perfect http://www.hauntforum.com/showthread.php?t=26406 If the original poster doesn't come back, I hope someone will pick up the torch and do a trailer trash haunt.


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## CreeepyCathy (Mar 28, 2009)

ran across this site today. It may give you some ideas. 

http://www.weeville.com/redneck_collection.htm


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## N. Fantom (Sep 8, 2011)

Sorry if im a little late but if your still doing the same thing next year i have a couple ideas like having a grill thats roasting a person with tire tracks on it (road kill), zombie in an outhouse, human head mounted on a wall plaque, or you can play off the moon in moon-shine and have a werewolf pop out of a moon-shine still. Hope this helps for next year.


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