# Jack Handy



## Oaklawn Crematory (Oct 25, 2014)

I was going to post something very informative and clever but then I thought that wouldn't be right. Because I'm new to the forum I thought I might offend someone for being too brash; too cutting edge, too non conformist.
No, I thought, it's far better to post something incredibly lame. Something non-offensive, politically correct and environmentally friendly but then I thought such a liaise au faire approach might be insensitive, too calculatingly and far too cerebral for most of the forum members to relish.
I feared I would be viewed as being insensitive, unrealistic and far too provocative for the forum&#8230;.


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## jdubbya (Nov 6, 2005)

Oaklawn Crematory said:


> I was going to post something very informative and clever but then I thought that wouldn't be right. Because I'm new to the forum I thought I might offend someone for being too brash; too cutting edge, too non conformist.
> No, I thought, it's far better to post something incredibly lame. Something non-offensive, politically correct and environmentally friendly but then I thought such a liaise au faire approach might be insensitive, too calculatingly and far too cerebral for most of the forum members to relish.
> I feared I would be viewed as being insensitive, unrealistic and far too provocative for the forum&#8230;.


It's a pretty cerebral bunch over here so go ahead and be insensitive, provocative, politically incorrect, blah blah blah...


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## Rahnefan (May 1, 2009)

Bring that strong vocabulary to the Fun and Games section of the site. Welcome. But change that font color dude. Black on gray is punishing.


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## RoxyBlue (Oct 6, 2008)

"If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at some guys, throw one of those little baby-type pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think of how crazy war is, and while they're thinking, you can throw a real grenade." - Jack Handey

And two for the forum from Jack:

"For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip. Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness."

"I wish I had a kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away."


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## scareme (Aug 29, 2006)

Bravo Roxy! The Jack Handey went right over my head. But then, I'm short. 

Oaklawn, we're here for what ever you need. Want to know how to corpse a blucky, we're here. Wondering where Jimmy Hoffa might be, we're here. Want to tell us what you had for breakfast, we're here.


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## Oaklawn Crematory (Oct 25, 2014)

I had to skip breakfast today....I went right to dinner; which for those of you in Alabama, is supper. 

Afterwards, after a drink of course, I had lunch . All of which was quite abnormal for me. I'm used to having supper at noon and dinner at 6. 

I almost never have lunch unless I'm working and naturally breakfast is a necessity but for some reason, I just missed it. Perhaps, it could be its because I slept till noon but I doubt it.....


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## matrixmom (Aug 20, 2011)

I see you are rambling as usual on this forum and driving us crazy with it.... (its a short drive for me!!)


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## Oaklawn Crematory (Oct 25, 2014)

LMAO ! Matrixmom you are adorable! 

What a minute.....I thought your license was suspended? Short or long....You're not supposed to be driving anywhere ! !!


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